He's gonna take you back to the past
To play the shitty games that suck ass
He'd rather have a buffallo
Take a diarrhea dump in his ear
He'd rather eat the rotten asshole
Of a road killed skunk and down it with beer
He's the angriest gamer you've ever heard
He's the Angry Nintendo Nerd
He's the Angry Atari Sega Nerd
He's the Angry Video Game Nerd
The Sega CD has it place in history. I mean don't get me wrong it is a piece of shit, but it has certain appeal.
The 32x is the real deal! It sucks... oh god it sucks!
You plop it on top of the Sega Genesis like they are mating.
God I mean... do you think it is enough add-ons? It doesn't even look aesthetically presentable. it like a ugly tumor.
Do they need all this bullshit leeching on the Genesis?
That poor Genesis thinking, "oh god please take these shit off me."
It's like getting gangraped. Both of it's slots are getting bust at the same time.
And picture this, if it was a Genesis model 1, then it would be even more a spectacular mess.
It need the medal phongs to insert into it... slot.
There's something wrong here, this whole thing is a mound of cockadookie.
What does the 32x do? Well it is compatible with all your Genesis 16-bit games.
It also has it library of 32-bit games.
Oh you gotta love this, no end labels on the cartridges. May I ask why?
Here's the Genesis games. You can read them. You can see what they are.
If I'm trying to pick out a game, I can visually scan my eyeballs across them without having to do this.
Oh what's this... Virtua Fighter. Oh what's this...StarWars. Oh what's this...Primal Rage.
Same thing with Atari! Labeled.
Not labeled.
Labeled
Not labeled
Labeled...
Not labeled. Even Nintendo is guilty of the same thing.
If you labeled the older games, why can't you do the same with the newer ones.
Who came along and said... Oh we're going to have better graphics, better games, oh those end labels gotta go.
When did this idea simple convenience become obsolete?
About the 32x, hooking up this bastard is just insane.
Believe it or not, like the Sega CD, it has it own fucking power adaptor!
That's great, I mean now you got three.
Now trying to hook them up all at the same time is a friggen nightmare.
Let's look at the most minimum amount of effort possibly take.
I plug in the TV, now I can't obviously plug all three of these things.
Here's the most basic powerstrip you can get. Every big store sells this shit. These are common.
So plug in the fucking powerstrip or whatever.
Here's goes the Genesis, the SegaCD, and... bullshit.
What a load of fucking bullshit. How did they fuck this up so bad?
I can't even turn it the other way because it doesn't fit.
Why can I only plug in two power adaptors? Why can't they be side way?
Better yet, why do they have these box thing?
Why can't they be like this?
Even the Atari 5200 with a huge ass box, but it still ends with a normal plug.
You know that really pisses me off.
I even have a camera, which I just brought this year it has a box like that.
We live in the year of 2007, they can't figure out that shit like that takes up too much room?
These fucking thing should be banned.
Have these!
Not these!
So anyway, let's fire this monster up and play some Primal Rage.
Great title screen huh? There isn't any title at all!
What is this? Wha waitaminute...
Oh please god tell me what's going on.
Why can't I see the characters?
I'm playing invisible Primal Rage!
Let's try Virtual Fighter.
What the fuck?!
Guess what, we left something out.
There's another cable, which connects to the Genesis to the 32x.
Isn't it enough that the damn thing is inserted into the top of the Genesis?
Why does it need another connector?
Look at this, it's a fucking mess!
What a perfect visual analogy!
Sega invented the 32x to increase the lifespan of the Sega Genesis.
That's exactly what this friggen thing looks like.
It's on life support.
Here's Primal Rage, with my recollection looks nowhere near as good as the arcade.
In fact, I'm not even sure how much even better it look than the Genesis version.
It got all the moves, the farting, the puking, the pissing, which I can't do.
If you want to try that out, be my guest.
I mean that's what I hate about this game, the moves. They're so awkward.
Especially the fatality moves... just forget about it.
It's always something hold these 3 buttons then tap wierd combination on the control pad.
I don't know why they make any moves that require you to hit Up.
You know what happens? You jump!
I'm sorry, when I have to download a move list and remember all kinds of combinations of buttons.
That ruins the game for me.
You have Doom, which is one my all time favorite.
But the music sounds like shit.
Compare it to the Super Nintendo version.
Also the Super Nintendo version has more levels.
The only thing it lacks is the graphics. they're horrible.
The 32x is better. My point is everything should be better.
Now you have Virtua Fighter
It's one of the first 3D fighting game and it sure is like it.
I do hate how everytime you jump, its like you're on the moon.
Gah... the controls sucks.
The characters acts like they have problems.
Now you have Starwars.
Yeah, it's a arcade classic, but I don't know about this one. The graphics are dull.
Everything looks like a polygons, putting me to sleep.
Like my SegaCD Video, keep in mind, I'm limited to on how many games I can review.
I'm aware that I'm leaving out the popular one like the Snatcher on the Sega CD, and Knuckles Chaotix on the 32x.
But remember if I don't have the game, then I can't review it.
It doesn't matter anyway because I wanted to focus on the console itself.
The bottomline, the 32x sucks.
It's one of the biggest failure of all time.
Just to celebrate their failure just for shit and giggle, they released a few CD 32x games, which requires both the 32x and the SegaCD!!
If you happen to own both this pile of vomit and this piece of shit, you can mix the two together!
It concludes that the 32x was not worth it.
Gamer are too smart not to get sucker in, they knew that the piece of junk would be abandon shortly because the Sega Saturn is on it way.
Hell, it was already out in Japan. No one gave a two fuck about this beast.
It cost about 150 dollars when it first came out.
The only people who brought it had mechanical problems.
On top of that, there was rumors that it can damage your Genesis games.
I don't even know if that true or not.
The Sega Saturn was released in the US 6 month later.
Only about 40 games or maybe less came out for the 32x before they pick this up.
What kind of Marketing is that!?
WHAT WERE THEY THINKING!!!
On top of that, Sega has yet another console planned in between called the Neptune, which was scrapped pretty quickly.
All it was going to be is a standalone 32x anyway. Which was should have fucking been in the first place!
Not only the Saturn was on the way.
So is the Playstation and the Nintendo 64.
Gamers knew it would be a better idea was to just wait.
And stores was selling the 32x for 20 dollars.
I got mine from a flea market for 2 dollars and fifty cents!
I'M DEAD FUCKING SERIOUS!!!
Now excuse me, I gotta send this fucking shit back from the fire of Hell.