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Hello and welcome to the Big Fat Anniversary Quiz.
We've been doing Big Fat Quizzes for ten years now,
so we thought what better way to celebrate than with another Big Fat Quiz.
This is the Big Fat Quiz's tenth birthday party
and just like my actual tenth birthday party,
only six guests have showed up and all of them had to be paid.
Channel 4 have spared no expense for our tenth birthday celebrations,
so if you'll excuse me.
Good, now that's out of the way, let's meet the teams.
First up, they're the answer to the question, what's the worst-case scenario son-in-law-wise?
Ladies and gentlemen, the Goth detectives are back,
it's Noel Fielding and Russell Brand.
Every father's nightmare. Next up,
from Star Wars, it's Warwick Davis and from the autograph queue
at the Star Wars' convention, it's Jonathan Ross.
That's fair enough, I'm happy with that.
And finally, she's famous for her ballroom on Strictly,
he's famous for his lack of ball room in skinny jeans,
it's Claudia Winkleman and Jack Whitehall.
Noel, talk me through the look.
Um, I don't... I think it speaks for itself, really.
Do you want to see it all? Yeah, can we get a little look at Noel's incredible outfit.
It's sort of... What's it like?
Andy Pandy covered in hundreds and thousands.
My nan used to have a button box, it looks like it just exploded.
Don't get dirty and talk about your nan's button box so early, really.
For goodness sake. I love the idea of your nan's button box.
I just covered myself in Pritt Stick and then just roll about
in Warwick's nan's button box.
Now, Warwick, I should apologise before we even start,
we've sat you next to Jonathan, he's bound to geek out on you at some stage.
Yes, he's already been discussing the Leprechaun films with me.
Warwick played six in the epic Leprechaun series.
I don't know how many other Leprechaun fans there are in the building.
Really? You don't, you've never.
But my personal favourites would be... Well there's Leprechaun 1,
Leprechaun 2, Leprechaun 3, they're pretty much the same story,
essentially. Leprechaun 4, it gets interesting
because Leprechaun 4 is in space. Yes.
Leprechaun 4, a Leprechaun in space, think about that for a second.
Leprechaun 5, my all-time favourite, is Leprechaun In The Hood.
And that was so successful, we went back to The Hood for the sixth one.
Leprechaun 6, Back In The Hood.
I urge you to get the box set.
Claudia, what's going on here? What's going on with your team?
This is... Well, basically, I'm babysitting.
I'm a friend of Jack's mum and I'm here just to make sure he's fine.
That's my job.
I'm perfectly happy with that dynamic.
When we started Big Fat Quiz ten years ago, that's why we're
doing the anniversary special, how old were you ten years ago? 16.
Can we get a picture of you when you were 16? Is there any?
Yeah. Were you working as a Russell Brand tribute act?
Blonds have more fun.
Blonds also get bullied a lot more
when they turn up to school looking like that.
Russell, are you confident you can do this? Do you mean participate in the quiz?
Yes. I don't know why you think Noel and I
have come to this event. We're here to win and solve crime.
That is why we have adopted this tableau.
Plus rapport.
OK.
Our first round is about the biggest news headlines of the last decade.
The smoking ban came into effect in 2007 and was a huge success.
In fact, these days, the only person
smoking indoors is Jonathan Ross in Speedos.
The smoking ban means pubs are now far healthier environments
in which to use alcohol to destroy your heart, liver and marriage.
In 2011, an Icelandic volcano erupted covering the UK
in a dense layer of thick cloud or, as Scotland called it, summer.
Of course, it wouldn't be a quiz without questions. You ready? Yes.
And for our first question, it's over to Gandalf himself, Sir Ian McKellen. Yes!
Hello, Jimmy. Now, obviously, from my experience on the Hobbit
and other films, I'm no stranger to huge record-breaking audiences,
he said modestly, but here's the question,
What incredible event did over one-billion people
tune in to watch in 2010?
OK. So what did one-billion people tune into watch in 2010?
It was a live event. Jimmy? Yes, Russell?
That was ages ago and we can't remember.
I see what's happened there. Um... I was under the impression this quiz
was about information that was germane to the day, topical things.
That is the regular Big Fat Quiz, this is the Big Fat Anniversary Quiz.
In that case, we need to re-negotiate.
These things are all ages ago. Noel and I live in the present,
we're spiritual men. I can't... We live in the moment.
I can't even remember yesterday. How many people was it?
How do you know there was a yesterday, where's the "pruff"?
The proof? The proof? A billion? The proof!
Who knows how to pronounce it? Where's the proof?
Is there proof?
Can I immediately just say that I'm going to need,
I sense, some sort of erasing device. No, because that's correct.
No, no, no, this isn't correct. Blue announcing their reunion.
And now you've given them the answer, so...
They wouldn't have known what it was and now they're just going to copy us.
I'm going to give you a clue for this one, the event that a billion people tuned into watch concerned...
Antony Costa. Duncan James? Simon Webbe.
And the other one.
Oh, if you'd known them all.
Duncan James. Duncan James. Antony Costa.
Lee Ryan. How could I forget Lee Ryan? Oh, that is so terrible.
Russell, Noel, it's come to my attention
that you have not written anything yet.
We are not writing anything down. Yes, you are.
You're trying to control us and we don't like it.
Russell, stop fighting the system.
We don't agree with your system of writing things down.
Either you can trust us... Are you refusing to vote again, Russell?
Yeah, we're not participating.
We don't need that.
How dare you, young man?
Is that your special magic pen? That's your special pen that we got you special. Sorry.
They're already controlling you, marching about like a ventriloquist's doll.
I do not look like a ventriloquist's doll.
Why are you so defensive? Yes.
You don't look like a doll, come and sit on my knee for a second.
Let's see how this works out. I honestly don't.
Let's see how this works out. This is the thing.
This is demeaning.
So what do you like to do in your time off?
I like to sit on uncle's lap. Do you?
And what do you like about it? I like it when he takes
my temperature without using his finger. You dirty puppet!
This isn't right. Write down an answer!
See, they can't control it when we disobey. Yeah.
This is the start of the revolution. Hold on.
This is not the start of the revolution. Well done, Jack! Yes!
You see what happens? You start messing about and the younger boys want to copy you.
I said, "Do you want to throw the pen?" He went, "I'm not a rebel like them."
You are. The Ewoks were in the Rebel Alliance. That's true, absolutely.
Yeah, you know what? He's a fucking actor, he isn't an Ewok. All right.
He's just shaved his face, you don't know.
A bit hairy down there.
Question number two. It wouldn't be a Big Fat Quiz without
the children of at Mitchell Brook Primary School in Neasden.
For our anniversary, they've put on another of their rather unconventional school plays.
But what news story are they acting out here?
These are my ideas. Let's use this machine.
Let's switch it on!
Stop! What if it blows up the world?
The end is nigh, the end is nigh.
Here we go!
Ah!
Here I am. We found it.
That's why I love science.
That was brilliant that.
When they come out, he quietly went, "Good outfits."
OK, so what news story were they acting out there? Oh!
Russell? Noel? Yes. You know you said you weren't going to write anything.
That's right. Please write something.
We won't. Furthermore, if this quiz is not a fix,
how come we've been doing it ten years and them children still ain't grown up?
You must think we're stupid, you must think we're absolute idiots.
What a swizz. What a con. What a fix.
OK. Have a look at this picture, what's happening here?
So what's going on there? I think we might have it.
Yeah. Oh, I remember. What were they making?
Next up, it's over to the undisputed king and queen of baking,
it's Paul Hollywood and Mary Berry.
Hi, Jimmy. No-one in the world knows more about cake than us.
But in 2013, an old stale piece of cake
sold at an auction in the US for $4,000.
What made this piece of cake so special?
Duncan James made it. How old was that bit of cake, did they say?
They didn't say but I'm willing to tell you. I'll tell you that it was, it was in 2011.
I know the answer. What happened in 2011? The cake was made in 2011. The cake was made in 2011. 2011.
And finally, have a look at this clip of a Spanish lady
on the defensive, what has she done?
The key is her shabby hair. Yes. If we know what her shabby hair is, we'll know the answer. You're right.
Do you know what her shabby hair is? I don't. I've not seen it.
I've got it! I've got it! Yes!
Good boy.
And you can't... Ah! You!
What have I done? Because you were going to throw all your facts at me
but you can't prove this one wrong, puppet man.
Russell's looking into the middle distance. What's happening there?
We're having fun.
Jimmy? Or may I call you Puppeto?
If you wish... If you wish to encourage the young men
on my right to take part in the quiz,
I suggest you offer them something in the way of a prize,
perhaps, for example, a puppet they could
take home and cherish and play with.
Are you suggesting I prostitute myself
in order to elicit five answers? Oh, no, it doesn't
have to be prostitution in the literal sense it could just be
that they actually get to hang out with you a little while. No, no, no. I want a blowy off the puppet.
That's the noise he makes as he finishes.
OK. Let's get some answers. Shall we get some answers? Yes.
OK, we'll get some answers. First up, Sir Ian McKellen asked you
which live event was watched by over a billion people. What did you put?
Chile miners but we put a pattern.
Oh, they've sucked my pen off, the bastards! That is the system.
Jonathan and Warwick, did you get that?
First, we were going with the royal wedding but then we thought Chilean miners as well.
Well, we put that. What have you put?
We put the Blue thing or the miners coming out but then maybe they're linked.
Maybe that's why the miners wanted to come up.
Yes, this was 33 men trapped underground for 69 days.
Wow! Points all round there. OK, marvellous.
We saw the children of Mitchell Brook Primary School performing a play, did you know what it was?
Yeah, we know what that is. OK, what was it? It's to do with that collider thing.
That thing that's colliding subatomic particles to prove that
the physical dimension that we live in ain't even real or nothing.
It's a hydro-particle collider thing, right?
What he said. Noel is wearing the result of that experiment.
I think you kind of get a point, a lot of the right words were in there.
Jonathan, Warwick, did you get this? Warwick wanted to go with Star Wars
but I think he likes talking about Star Wars. We went with the Hadron Collider.
What did you put for this? Did you get it? Yes.
Well, you kind of all got that as well.
it was the discovery of the Higgs-boson particle with the Large Hadron Collider. Yeah.
OK. I showed you this still, did anyone remember what was going on?
We know about this. Go on. There was some
rioting, then immediately afterwards, squares ruined the vibe by sweeping up.
Jack? I thought it was the Hogwarts graduation.
It was a wonderful event.
We all had a jolly good time. There I am in the middle.
Warwick, Jonathan, did you get this? We put riots, just generically riots.
Right. The day after the riots, loads of people came out and swept up,
it was inspiring stuff. They did target the wrong shops.
Because they kept aiming for Tesco Metros and stuff like that.
But the advantage of looting is there's no budgetary restrictions,
just go... It would have been great to see more rude boys with Waitrose premium products,
just walking down the street, "Bad man got a John Dory."
"Bad man got a John Dory?" Yes.
Because he's stolen nice fish from the deli counter.
It was the clean up after the riots. Yep.
OK. Paul Hollywood and Mary Berry asked why a stale piece of cake
went for over $4,000 at auction. What did you put?
Was it the Queen's cake? You're very close but not the right answer. Jonathan, Warwick, did you get it?
Yep. We put the royal wedding cake and we're going to win the puppet.
Claudia, Jack, did you get it?
We used this opportunity to partake in some playground ribbing
by suggesting that the 4,000 cake
was bought by Jonathan because he was hungry.
I have never met a cake I didn't like, it has to be said.
Have you done a full cake on your own? A full birthday cake on your own?
Yes, every time I'm pregnant.
I bought a child's X-Men cake and ate it all on my own in my pants
whilst crying on the saddest day of my life.
Had Blue split up? Correct, Jimmy.
The darkest day in our history. Have you ever had a whole Vienetta?
Have I had a whole Vienetta? I've never had a Vienetta.
What are you talking about? What?! That's why you're not happy.
The Vienetta is the best dessert ever because if you looked at it
and you said, "How much does that cost?" I would say at least 30.
At least. It is only, like, 1.50.
It's ridiculous, it so under-priced. It is a marvel of architecture.
OK. So, Jonathan, you get a point there for the royal wedding cake. Thank you, Jimmy.
And finally, I asked you what the Spanish lady had done.
Did anyone get this? Noel, Russell? Jack did. Did you know?
You see, all you lot. I'm over here, Russell. Someone must know.
No, no! What was it?
What is it? Oh, no. Russell's wandering around.
What is that Spanish lady?
She painted Jesus. She painted Jesus.
That is the answer, she painted Jesus.
Where's button boy gone?
Oh, no!
I just gave Russell a haircut.
Stay there, my boy.
I like it. I like it.
See, some people, when they sit on a lap, don't automatically look like a puppet.
What did your parents do to you?
What does that woman want about Spain? Tell us.
I don't know. Get another one.
OK. So the Spanish lady, what was she apologising for? What had she done?
I thought she was Banksy.
Tell me that she isn't. Because you can't prove that she isn't and I think she's Banksy.
OK, Jonathan, Warwick? I think that she tried to improve a painting,
sort of restore a painting and messed it up.
There was a fresco of Jesus in some church
that was falling into disrepair and she...
It was quite a sweet thing she did, really. I fucking said that.
No, you didn't. I said it over there.
Someone else said it over there. That isn't the same as you saying it.
I don't think you understand communism.
Well, I can tell you that is the right answer, Jonathan and Warwick.
Do you want to look at the painting? This is the painting before,
which is quite a beautiful old fresco. Here it is after.
I think hers is better.
OK. So that is the end of the first round, let's check in on the scores.
Russell and Noel, despite writing nothing down
and doing a pattern, have got three points. Wow!
Good work.
Don't need this. Which is one more than Jack and Claudia,
who were trying their best. Jonathan and Warwick are in the lead with five.
Come on! Do it! Boom! Boom!
OK. We're going to take a short break, see you in a bit.
Welcome back to the Big Fat Anniversary Quiz.
This round is about the last ten years of TV.
TV box sets of American dramas became all the rage.
I can't tell you how many hours I spent watching the first season of 24.
The Wire was a massive hit and instantly became the number-one show
people pretended to love whilst really watching X Factor.
Deal Or No Deal started in 2005.
Deal Or No Deal is the show which has 23 boxes and just one question,
"What else is on?"
The show originated in Holland and remains the best thing
to come from there which you don't have to smuggle out up your arse.
Let's remind ourselves of what we've been watching over the last ten years.
Let's fire up the Quattro! Hello?
You are a fucking mini shambles.
No!
On your marks. Get set. Bake.
Run!
Coffee! No, no, no!
Classic.
OK, everyone. Some TV questions.
Survivalist Bear Grylls taught us how to cope in a whole range of situations we're unlikely to face.
But as a last resort what unconventional method
did he use to stay hydrated at sea?
No! I'm in charge of this now. OK, something rank, wasn't it?
You filthy little devil.
OK. Russell, Noel, if you write down the answer.
Russell, if you could just send a text.
Marks & Spencer launched a series of sexy adverts described as food porn.
Can you tell me what the tag line at the end every ad was?
Yeah. Good.
Well, Russell's had a text. What? No, I ain't. Eff off!
Did you get someone's number when you went into the audience?
I may have released a few spores.
OK. And for our next question, it's over to my favourite-ever X Factor veteran, it's Chico. Oh!
Hello, Jimmy. It's Chico here. Well, guess what time it is?
It's time for my question, of course. I lost the X Factor
to Shayne Ward in 2005.
But I'm in good company, Susan Boyle lost Britain's Got Talent in 2009
and One Direction lost the X Factor the following year.
Can your teams tell me the acts who beat them?
Chico is wearing a Dairylea round his neck.
Can I just say? Although we loved Chico,
I partook in a show that he was also on some years ago
and, afterwards, we swapped numbers.
I texted him and he never texted me back.
I got snubbed by Chico.
So Chico wants to know who beat One Direction on X Factor
and who beat SuBo in Britain's Got Talent?
Well, One Direction, I don't know, Susan Boyle. Oh!
Her inner demons. Done! Come on.
Noel, are you doing a picture or done some answers? What?
What? What did you say, puppet man?
Puppet man, help me!
I don't know what's happening. I don't know what he's doing.
I don't know what I'm doing. I don't know where I am or who you are.
As I've got nothing to lose, I am just going to text Chico now.
Really? And I haven't texted him for five years.
Russell, shall I put one kiss or two?
For Chico, this is a two-kiss situation, one big, one small. OK.
Well, just saying that who beat One Direction on X Factor,
who beat Susan Boyle on BGT? Let's see if Chico replies.
He'd better, otherwise, I will harm myself
Next up, have a look at these reaction videos uploaded to YouTube.
Which TV event are these people reacting to?
Oh, no! Oh, shit!
Oh! Oh, really?
Oh, my God!
Oh, my God! That's... That's just...
Oh, my God! I can't deal with it right now.
No, no, no, no!
Oh!
They're watching telly.
Yeah, they're watching a TV show and what were they reacting to?
It was an episode of a TV show. This is really weird.
It's like when you've texted a girl. I'm just waiting for the three dots.
Nothing, nothing yet. Shall I send another one or not? No!
OK. I'll leave it. Don't call him.
No, don't call him. I don't want to look too eager.
We'll let it rest. But if he hasn't texted me back in five minutes,
I am sending another one just with a kiss or something to say, "Hey, I'm here."
Good plan. Play it cool. And finally, Dr Who came back in 2005.
In a recent poll, who was voted the show's greatest villain?
Greatest ever Dr Who villain. Siri,
who was voted the greatest ever Dr Who villain?
Do you find Siri sexy?
I like being told what to do in that way. Yeah.
I like the One-to-One lady and I was very drunk once
and I woke up the following morning and I had tried to have sex
with the One-to-One lady. You know the text message that says,
"You have two new voicemails, call this number."
I'd replied to it saying, "Are you still up?"
I was so drunk, I tried to fuck voicemail.
Awesome!
I love him a little bit.
And then, like, five messages to Chico, "Where are you?"
I mean, I don't want to sound like an exam invigilator
but could some of you put your phones away.
If he's allowed to text Chico, I'm texting Darius to ask him the answer.
That is fair, to be honest. I have a story about Darius.
He once said goodbye with a seven-section shotgun salute.
Wow! You said, "Goodbye, Darius." Goodbye, Darius.
Thanks for coming on... Whatever. And he went to you?
Shh! Shh! Ker-poo. Pss!
Wow! That is pretty funny.
OK. Let's get some answers. All right, I asked you
how Bear Grylls stayed hydrated at sea. What did you put?
He wrote a poem that was so sad, he cried and collected the tears.
That's our answer, as you see from Noel's portrait.
He's not even a bear either, it's pathetic.
Why don't he ever grill nothing? The whole thing's a farce.
Jack, Claudia, how did you think Bear Grylls kept himself hydrated?
Drank his pee. Yeah, but I thought there's always something ranker
because he wants the shock factor. I put drinking from a whale's dick.
Because it's always... No, it's always gratuitous and horrible.
Jonathan, Warwick, what do you think? Warwick seemed to know this.
I did, enema selfie. Yeah. Well, let's have a look, shall we?
I've collected some fresh water but it's full of bird droppings
and it's rancid, drink this and you'd probably vomit
and risk worse dehydration.
But there is a way of using it to gain life-giving fluids
but only as a last resort.
I'm going to give myself an enema.
I'm not expecting this to be particularly pleasant.
By performing an enema, you bypass the gag reflex,
rehydrating your body without the risk of vomiting.
And then once it's in...
Pfuh! Oh!
I guess, all you do is lie back and think of England!
He is a dirty bastard. He is.
And can you imagine if that was filmed with bird shit going up,
when it came back out imagine the state of that water
and he probably kept re-using it. When all he had to do was say
to the cameraman, "Can I share some of your water."
I asked you what the M&S tag line was for their sexy adverts.
What have you got, Jonathan? It was all sexy shots of food
and didn't the voice say at the end, "Do you want to eat it or fuck it?"
Wasn't that the answer? Jack, Claudia, did you remember this?
I can't. It was something like, "This is not ordinary food, this is M&S food."
You sound like a 12-year-old posh boy
trying to get into see an 18 film.
I've been to see many 18s. You trying to get into the cinema,
"Oh, yeah, I'm a film critic. Can I have a ticket?"
Why am I walking like that? That's how you walk.
Do you never watch yourself on TV? I don't go... You do.
Ladies and gentlemen, Mickey Rourke! You do.
Do I do that, Warwick? No. Well, I...
Et tu, Brutus.
Shall we have a listen? Let's have a little look at one of the M&S ads.
This isn't at all sexually explicit. Exclusive traditionally aged
Brut Prestige Cava. And a bottle is yours
absolutely free when you spend over 35
on food or drink at M&S until Saturday.
This is not just food, this is M&S food.
Do you want to eat it or fuck it? Was the actual final line.
OK. Chico asked you who beat One Direction and Susan Boyle.
Did anyone remember this? Yes.
Noel and I don't know about things like that.
We're really... Was it Matthew? Someone called Matthew?
Was it someone called Matthew? Weirdly, yeah.
Was it? Yeah, Matt. Have you just channelled that?
That's come through. That was a guess.
OK. I was getting Matthew. That's weird, isn't it?
OK, Jack, Claudia? Yes. We thought it was Diversity and JLS.
Ah, yeah. Oh, you're very close. Jonathan, Warwick?
Diversity and Matt Curdle. You can have that. It's Cardle, but, yeah.
Can I get a point for Matthew? I think you should get half a point.
Especially as it came from another dimension. I know.
Jimmy, do you know what time it is?
Eating Viennetta and crying time.
Has Chico not called? Nothing.
Shall I text him now and see if he texts me back?
Have you got Chico's number? Have I what? Have you got Chico's number?
No.
Have you got anyone's number?
No. I've got one number in my phone, it's mine.
I call myself occasionally.
You were right, Jonathan and Warwick. SuBo was beaten by Diversity and One Direction lost to Matt Cardle.
Yeah, unlucky, One Direction, where are you now?
OK. We saw a bunch of reaction videos taken from YouTube. What were the viewers reacting to?
MasterChef. You thought it might be MasterChef.
Yeah. The woman going, "Ohhh"?
Surely these people here are responding to the internet phenomena
two girls and one cup.
No. Jonathan, Warwick?
Your correct answer is the Red Wedding from Game Of Thrones.
What? Ssh! Pfft! Crrk! Errk! Pow!
That is the right answer. Yes! Good work.
Boo-yah!
Spoiler alert, it doesn't go well.
I asked you who topped the poll of greatest Dr Who villains.
And what did you get? The Daleks. You've gone with Daleks.
What have you gone for, Jack and Claudia? Daleks. It was, of course, the Daleks.
The Weeping Angels came second and the Master came third.
- Noel, talk us through your picture. - That's SuBo.
But I wasn't really thinking about it, it just came out.
OK. Time for a quick bonus round. I've significantly improved pictures
from three films from the last ten years. Can you tell me what they are?
Here's the first one. OK, there I am.
Nothing the matter with that. Wow!
Next one. There I am. That is brilliant.
Final one. Wow!
Oh, yeah, you might need some quiet time with that one.
Wow! That is quite something.
Yeah, that's the haircut. I'm considering that haircut.
OK. Let's have a look at the answers. Russell, Noel what have you got?
Juno. Yeah.
Iron Lady. Yeah.
Twilight.
Three for three. So three points to everyone there.
This is what's so frustrating with you two.
When you try, you're so gifted but you won't start messing around.
It was our upbringing what went wrong, so we don't know what to do.
Shall we have a quick look at how those photos were improved?
There's Juno.
Oh, yeah, OK.
There's Twilight.
And The Iron Lady. I hated it.
It's nothing like my mum.
I was promised The Iron Lady. She couldn't fly. Bullshit.
You're right, of course. OK. Let's take a look
at the scores. Russell and Noel have six points.
Jonathan and Warwick have 12 points. Jack and Claudia have seven.
Time for another quick break. See you in three.
Welcome back to the Big Fat Anniversary Quiz.
This round's all about the best music of the last ten years.
James Blunt's You're Beautiful was everywhere in the summer of 2005,
a bit like dog shit and wasps. Whoa! Whoa!
Get the fuck off Blunters!
What? I'm serious, Jimmy Carr.
What? You make jokes at the expense of the Chilean miners,
that is fine but you bring Blunters into the equation,
you have crossed the line, my friend.
I had no idea you were so... Well, I'm worried about this one now.
If this is about Blunt again, I will walk.
As an officer in the British Army,
Blunt served in Kosovo and witnessed atrocities
on a par with his second album.
What is your beef with Blunters, seriously?
Come on, you're not thinking these through. Blunters?
Yes. Blunters? He's a wonderful singer
and he served in the army. He's a hero!
One Direction's first single, What Makes You Beautiful
was released on September the 11th and remains
the worst thing ever to have happened on that date.
I can't follow that. I'll give him that.
Are you all right with that? Are you going to kick off?
It was funny enough for it to be OK.
It was on the edge, it was on the edge.
You can take the egging. Carry on.
But first it's over to the Channel 4 newsroom where Jon Snow is reporting
on one of the biggest hits of the last ten years but what is it? Over to you, Jon.
An American court has ordered that a couple is to live separately
after the fire services were called to their house
to tackle blazes more than three times a week.
According to doctors, the pair suffered from a rare medical condition
that caused their genitals to self-combust.
Victims of the condition, which is exacerbated by vigorous love-making,
say symptoms include being hot as a fever,
rattling bones and that it feels like you're dying, you're dying.
The couple were unavailable for comment
as they were consumed with what's to transpire.
But in a statement released earlier, they insisted,
"We're still the greatest, the greatest, the greatest."
That's so disturbing, isn't it?
I assumed any answer about music I was going to write
one to five was Gangnam Style.
I'm really only good on Blue, Chico or James Blunt.
OK. Have a look at this clip from 1969.
It became the unlikely inspiration
for which massive global dance craze in 2008.
OK. So what dance craze did that kick off?
Don't you love the outfits? They're sort of polyester two-piece suits.
What happened? What happened? Nothing. What happened?
We're doing the quiz, Jimmy. What happened? Sure,
Noel and I have made mistakes in the past but now we're just trying
our best to be in a quiz. Leave us alone, you bully.
OK. Question three, one of the biggest hits of the decade was
What Does The Fox Say by Norwegian duo Ylvis.
So my question is simple, what does the fox say? OK
I know this one. Hunt me. I'm with it.
I can hear it in my head. OK, what is it? Whisper it to me.
There's a few that I would accept.
There's three or four that I would accept. OK.
Did you genuinely not like Back To Bedlam?
The album Back To Bedlam by James Blunt? Yeah.
That you just googled? You...
No. Just checking for Chico.
So in 2004, which notoriously raunchy dance video
prompted the then prime minister, Tony Blair, to say,
"The first time it came on, I nearly fell off my rowing machine"?
I'll give you a clue, I'll give you a clue. Go on.
He was working out when he nearly fell off the rowing machine,
the "working out", is key. What's the one Blue did with Elton John?
Oh! Sorry Seems To Be The Hardest Word. Stick it down.
Pretty sexy. Oh, Elton.
Antony Costa reclining on a piano. Yes, please. Lee Ryan?
Russell, when we have the revolution what's happening to old Tone?
I don't think it looks good for old Tone in a post-revolutionary world.
I mean, I'd find it hard to contextualise him
as being on a rowing boat being shocked by a video.
He wasn't on a rowing boat, he was on a rowing machine.
I don't think you have TV on your rowing boat.
I don't know, I don't know, do they? Can we trust 'em?
They lied about them weapons of mass destruction, didn't they?
And finally, it was the decade of mobilised fandom.
One Direction fans called themselves Directioners.
Justin Bieber fans are referred to as Beliebers.
But what are Lady Gaga fans called?
I was going to ask what James Blunt fans are called. I know that. Oh, we know this.
Are you on Twitter now with people? What? Ah!
This is like a police state, man. It is not a police state.
Yes! A famous moment.
What did he text? What did he text? What did he say?
Man, this is huge. What did he text? What did he say? What did he say?
Look. Oh! There's another. What did he say?
He's put... He's put, "Hey, Jack Attack.
OMG! "Jack Attack, The answer is
Diversity and Matt Cardle." Smiley face.
Huge! Huge!
Look.
The noise you made when that came in,
I thought you'd hurt yourself. What are you going to reply?
Not immediately? That was, like, two years in the making.
I can't text immediately because I'll look too keen, leave it.
If Chico calls me Jack Attack, what should my nickname be for him?
Chicatito? Cheeky-weeky. Snuggles? Any ideas, audience?
Do you want to throw anything in? Chico nicknames? Chicatito I like.
Cheeky Tits. Cheeky Tits? Cheeky Tits. Cheeky Tits.
Cheeky Tits. Cheeky Tits.
Do you want me to text back? A man that hasn't texted me for two years,
"Hey, Cheeky Tits?"
Ask him out, ask him out. Don't ask him out.
Ask him to come here now. Ask him to come here now.
Get him to come here. Get him to come here
before the end of the show. We're going to be here a while.
I'll say, "Hey, Cheeky Tits, we're at London Studios, come down, we need your help."
Yeah. "See you soon. Kiss." Send. I'm done.
It's making me happy.
Have you all got something? Are you ready for the answers? Yes.
OK. Jon Snow was reporting. on one of the biggest hits
of the last ten years. What do you think it was?
Oh, yeah, we know that. What is it? It's the Kings of Leon,
This Sex Is On Fire. Oh! That is the right answer.
That's a much better answer than us.
And, Claudia, what did you put? We got confused when you said fire, I was like, "Fire? Hot."
So we put in, It's Getting Hot In Here by somebody called Nelly. Tune.
Warwick, what have you got?
Well, we... We were torn. First of all, we went with Crazy Frog.
And then, because you kept banging on about sex and fire,
we went with Sex Is On Fire.
OK. Sex Is On Fire. We can give you that, yeah, why not?
OK. We had a look at some lovely dancing from 1969.
Which dance craze did it inspire? Claudia?
Beyonce, Single Ladies. OK. I mean, it's too easy.
Jonathan, Warwick, you got it? Yeah. Russell, Noel?
What have you put for this one? Well, er...
This one, the second one, that's Wedding Ring.
Is it? Put A Ring On It. You should have put a ring on it.
Oh!
It's almost like you just...
So are you texting them clues rather than the answers?
If you're going to cheat, just cheat.
We're not cheating. We're participating in a quiz
and the answer has been said quite loudly,
and the tape will demonstrate, Put A Ring on It, wasn't it?
OK, let's take a look.
I preferred the polyester version, to be honest with you.
There was also a move in there that was very close to the Jonathan.
Wedding ring. Wedding ring. That one?
I think points all round there, OK.
I asked what the fox said. What did you think?
Claudia, you're the expert. # Ding-ding-ding ding-ding ding-ding
And then later on it goes, # Yuppee, yuppee, yuppee-yo #
What did you get, Jonathan?
I thought it was choff, choff, choff, choff, choff. But...
I thought it was, ning, ning, ning, ning, ning. Yes, that's better.
That's the Crazy Frog. That's the Crazy Frog. I miss the Crazy Frog every day.
Why don't you text him?
So, Russell and Noel, you didn't answer.
As a matter of fact, we've got something better than that. Yeah.
If, if... And it's a big if. If Russell opens his hand
and a fly...
..is released into the studio, can we have ten points, please?
That would be fair, wouldn't it? Can I say, I'd be happy with that.
We're happy with that. OK, everyone's happy with that.
OK, this is only if it flies away. Ten points.
If it flies away. Here we go, here we go.
We're transfixed, we're approaching and now the miracle can occur.
Fly, fly.
Fly. How did it get here?
It flew.
Behold! Behold! Unbelievable.
OK, you can have one point for that. Oh, you said ten! Fuck off!
I'm being generous to give you anything.
Jimmy, we spent six months training that fly.
You can have a point and we're moving on. Come on, everyone.
That was Jeff Goldblum. We spent ages.
It was very hard to get him to reprise that role.
OK. So points all round for that. Oh, dear.
OK. I asked you which music video prompted Tony Blair to say,
"The first time it came on, I nearly fell off my rowing machine."
Did you get this? Yes. Yes. We didn't because we were too busy...
Training a fly! Training a fly. Which turned out to be worthless.
It's Blue and Elton John. It was not Blue and Elton John.
It was not. Jonathan, Warwick? We're sticking with Crazy Frog.
Still a very sexy video.
OK. Well, let's have a look.
That was Eric Prydz and Call On Me.
It's a weird music video because you sort of forget
there's music even playing, don't you?
This guy is just the coolest man on the bloody planet.
Are you ready for this? "Oh, man! You know I've got all the Chico time in the world for you."
"But my missus is demanding her wicked ways with me,
so I've got to give her a bit of Chico time."
"Next time my friend, next time." Winky face.
I mean, what a guy. Yeah, pretty cool.
What a guy. OK. I asked you
what Lady Gaga's fans are called. What did you put?
Hey! They're little monsters. Oh! Little monsters.
What did you think, Noel, Russell? Yeah.
I put little bleeders.
It's monsters, isn't it? You've just slightly Cockney-ed it up.
I can see how that would happen. Little bleeders.
Oh, I got distracted by that fucking fly.
The answer is little monsters.
We'll, we got it then. Let's see how everyone is doing at this stage.
Russell and Noel have nine points incredibly.
All right. Jonathan and Warwick are in the lead with 16.
Jack and Claudia have ten points. Yeah.
That's the end of the music round. If you're making tea,
feel free to drop it like it's hot. See you shortly.
Welcome back to the Big Fat Anniversary Quiz.
This round is all about the internet. Online grocery deliveries
absolutely revolutionised the way we waited in for food to be delivered
that had been substituted for the food we actually ordered.
Chatroulette was the must-visit website of 2009.
The great thing about Chatroulette was it was unpredictable,
there was no way of knowing what you'd see when you logged on,
maybe a big cock or a small penis,
maybe an erect willy or a flaccid knob,
hairy balls or a shaved scrotum, it was totally random.
Ready for some more questions? Yes. Yeah.
Of course you are, OK. First up, have a look at this picture
of Gary Brolsma who, in 2004, became one of the internet's
very first viral superstars. Can you remember why?
It looks like his head would be the same if you turned it upside down.
Put the glasses on the mouth. Yeah, he's.. That's weird.
OK. Justin Bieber's Baby
has the honour of being the most disliked video of all time
on YouTube. But what is the second most disliked video?
Right, can I just warn both of you if anyone puts anything
Blunt-related, there's going to be some serious beef.
I've forgotten what the question was now. Second most disliked video?
There is a lot of cheating going on over there.
Cheats never prosper. Don't panic. In 2008, Australian teenager,
Corey Worthington became an overnight star
thanks to his use of MySpace. But what did he do?
What did he do? MySpace? MySpace?
You remember MySpace. It was like an updated Bebo.
What? Bebo.
And for our next question, it's over to MasterChef supremo, Gregg Wallace.
Oh! Oh, Gregg. Hi, Jimmy, now since 2006,
the whole world has been obsessed with Twitter,
even politicians got in on the act.
But, in 2011, what infamous tweet did Ed Balls, the Shadow Chancellor,
send out that has since been re-tweeted 25,000 times?
It was accidental, I think.
Ed Balls, Russell? After the revolution?
I think it's going to be a tough time for Ed Balls.
I shook his hand once, all clicky wrist, he was a snidey BLEEP.
Why didn't you say that in the Paxman interview?
"All clicky wrists" sounds like something from A Clockwork Orange, it's beautiful.
All clicky wrist he were, real horrorshow.
Me and my droogies done him in. Did it good, it did,
as he spilled his claret like silvery wine.
It sounds wonderful but I'll have to have it Google translated to posh.
OK. Finally, one of our say-what-you-see puzzles.
I'll give you an example. Here we go.
Russell Brand, you can see what we've done there. Ah!
So these pictures spell out an online game played by more than
seven-million people, can you tell me what it is?
Do it. No, it's not. Car exhaust.
Is that Bear Grylls giving himself another enema on the end?
We all remember playing that. Of course we did.
You ready for some answers? OK.
I asked what Gary Brolsma did to become one of the first viral video superstars.
Did anyone remember? Yeah, we did. What have you got?
Correct answer, mahi dance, singing and miming at his desk, he done.
OK. What did you put, Jonathan and Warwick?
It was the Numa Numa Numa guy. He mimed to Numa Numa Numa.
Jack, Claudia? Well, you just said the internet.
So we thought he was the first guy to complete solitaire.
Look how happy his face is. That is the face of a man that's just seen the cards fill the screen.
Brbrbrbrbr! Oh! Well, let's take a look.
That's great. I love that. It is. That's beautiful, wonderful.
Jonathan and Warwick, Russell and Noel both get points. Yes. Good.
OK. I asked you for the second most disliked video of all time
on YouTube. What did you put? Jonathan, Warwick?
Right. I expected it from you but you should know better.
Anything by Blunt. Out of order.
It was not. Jack, Claudia, what did you get? Justin Bieber.
Do you remember the question? I said Justin Bieber was the most disliked video what was the second?
What as the first most hated one? It was Baby.
Yes, and we thought the second one was Justin Bieber, Boyfriend,
which is a different song, Jimmy.
We got specific. Jesus!
You do know how music works?
Clearly not, having hammered Blunt at the beginning of this round.
You put Justin Bieber, Boyfriend, I thought that was just...
Noel? Noel, what did you put?
Shall I answer it for you? Noel has requested I answer this particular one.
It's Friday, Rebecca Black, is the correct answer.
Noel, do you concur?
Do you know what's under here?
A quiz similar to the one that's going on now but slightly better.
Put it on. That is a hell of a thing. Is that...? I mean....
Oh, my God!
Look at Russell's chest, he's still trying to carry that off as sexy.
Never yield the sex appeal, Jim, never.
There's always opportunities, there's always flies to be caught.
People are always looking for justice, never yield it.
Well, you've got the answer absolutely right.
Let's take a look at Rebecca Black. That was the point.
Oh, bless her.
OK. I asked you how Corey Worthington used MySpace
to make him an overnight star in 2008. Did you get it?
Yeah, we knew that. What is it?
He threw a big party at his house and then when he was asked
to be contrite on Australian national news,
to be like, "Oh, I'll never do this again."
He was even more laissez-faire and blase.
He's a plucky heroic young man.
And I admire him. And any quiz that he comes as an answer in,
I'm happy to be a participant in that quiz.
That's just how much I know about the guy.
Jonathan, Warwick, did you get this? We thought he threw a party,
too many people came, which is now the Facebook thing.
But who knew 500 people were still using MySpace? Yeah.
Jack, Claudia? Yes. Soiree. A soiree. A soiree.
Yes, he held a soiree and he announced it on MySpace
and too many people came to said cheese and wine. Yeah.
Let's take a look at him the day after on the news.
Did your parents say you could have a party?
Um, no, they didn't. So why did you?
I don't know. It was just a get-together with a couple of mates at first and then
we thought we might as well just have a bit of a party
and then it sort of got out of hand and, yeah.
Take off your glasses and apologise to us.
I'll say sorry but I'm not taking off my glasses.
Corey, we've got to wrap this up but what would you say to other kids
who were thinking of partying when their parents are out of town?
Get me to do it for you.
Get you to do it for you? Not "Don't do it"?
No, get me to do it for you. Best party ever so far,
that's what everybody's been saying.
He's great. He's good.
Why did she want him to apologise? Is she his next-door neighbour or something?
How many people turned up? I think 500 people turned up.
Quite a small house party. An uber soiree.
OK, Gregg Wallace asked you what Ed Balls tweeted. What did you put?
We put, "Haters gonna hate, hashtag Chance loller of the Exchequer."
Haters gonna hate? Yeah. Or...
Or... I thought that he famously tweeted just his name. OK.
Jonathan, Warwick, what have you got? We thought he was another one
of the victims of that serial befriender Chico.
And his desperate plea was, "Where are you, Chico?"
It's Chico time already. That is not the right answer. Noel, Russell?
Well, we've put Ed Balls and we parenthesised his name in brackets.
His name. Isn't it, Noel? Yeah.
That is the right answer. That's right. Why wouldn't it be?
He tweeted his own name, Ed Balls, Ed Balls.
What a prick, that clicky wrist prick.
OK. Did you get the say what you see? Yes, definitely. Yes!
Yes! Take it away, take it away, Clauds. What have you got, Claudia?
Swirl, dove, lady, raft.
Boom! Swirl, dove, lady, raft.
Yeah. Points, please.
Russell and Noel, you've got? World of hovercraft.
Warcraft. Warcraft, World Of Warcraft.
Jonathan, Warwick, did you get it? Yes, World Of Warcraft.
I enjoyed that round, it was fun. Whirl, dove, walk, raft.
OK. Points to Russell and Noel and Jonathan and Warwick on that one.
Maximum points for us, I think you'll find.
Yeah, you've done very well. Do we get extra for getting a maximum?
Only if you can pull a butterfly out of your foreskin.
It's only a matter of time.
Get a point for that. What about that?
You should get a point for button man. I'm going to wear this when you give me that blowy.
Oh, dear!
There, see, we've all come with headdresses.
Can we have a point? That actually
had a real mayonnaise-y sandwich inside.
Sorry. That's mayonnaise.
OK.
Good for the hair apparently.
Now the part of the show where I introduce my mystery guest.
This person has made the news at some point in the last ten years.
All you have to do is work out who they are and how they made the news.
You can ask them questions but they can only answer yes or no.
Please welcome my mystery guest. Yeah!
How are you? Very good, thank you. Nice to have you here.
OK. So, panel, you can ask him anything,
he can only answer yes or no.
Are you an acrobat of some nature? No.
Are you just going on the black top and black trousers?
Did something happen to you of note over the last ten years? Yes.
You know this is the internet round, that's the other thing.
Oh! Ah! Oh! Internet. Oh!
Oh! Did you invent Minesweeper?
No.
Is the thing you do, is it downloadable?
Yeah. That was part of it, yes. Yes. I think you can say yes.
Part of it is downloadable. Are you in charge of Ocado?
No, he's not in charge of Ocado.
I got excited there as well. How middle class is this team?
Standing ovation time. Are you involved in politics of the revolutionary sort?
He was involved in a type of revolution. Revolutionary in a way. Oh!
Write down your answers. Oh, my God! Write down your answer.
Shit! I want you to be quite specific in your answers.
This guy... Eh? Yeah.
There you go. Bingo. OK. Have you all got something?
What have you got, Jack, Claudia? Rage Against The Machine. Rage Against The Machine. Yes.
Jonathan, Warwick? You've got Rage Against The Machine to number one.
F-U, Cowell. Russell? We done that. Yeah.
It was good. Commendable in its sentiment but why
couldn't it have been You Are Beautiful? My only...
My only sticking point with that. So, mystery guest,
tell them who you are and what you did? OK. My name is Jon Morter.
And I created the campaign that successfully
got Rage Against The Machine to the Christmas number one.
Yeah.
Were you a big Rage Against The Machine fan?
Yes, absolutely. One of the greatest bands ever.
Did you get to meet the band? Yes, I did.
They actually re-formed because of the campaign. Amazing. Wow!
Could you do the same thing with Blue?
Serious question.
Did you make anything? Did they give you anything? Were they grateful?
Yeah, well, the money that they made from all the downloads,
we did a campaign at the same time to raise money for Shelter
and they gave all the money to Shelter that they had raised.
And it's still bringing money in. 160,000. Wow!
And we're still getting money in five years later.
- Round of applause. - It's terrific.
Let's see the scores. Jack and Claudia have 13 points.
Ahead of them, Russell and Noel with 15.
Jonathan, Warwick have 20.
Time for anther break. Ladies and gentlemen, one more time, Jon Morter.
Thanks for coming on. I appreciate it. Well done.
Welcome back to the Big Fat Anniversary Quiz.
This round's all about the sporting highlights of the last ten years.
Lewis Hamilton burst onto the Formula 1 scene in 2007.
Top Gear's Jeremy Clarkson described him as a brilliant racing driver,
which was a relief for all concerned.
John Terry resigned from the England squad in 2012
so he could spend more time with his teammates' families.
Team GB performed brilliantly at the Beijing Olympics.
Some said we only won medals in minority sports
but I think the medals we won in badminton are just as legitimate
as the ones we got in Kerplunk.
Are you ready for the questions? Yes. Of course you are. OK.
Sky Sports' legendary roving reporter Chris Kamara
brought us many amazing moments. But what was particularly memorable about his coverage
of a Portsmouth-Blackburn game on Saturday the 3rd, April 2010?
What? What do you...? I mean, have you met me?
Russell, do you remember this? Yeah.
He's confident someone is going to tweet him.
OK. So next question. The great thing about the London 2012 Olympics
was how we all became overnight experts on minority sports.
But in which discipline do you get judged on your wide behind,
your purity and your schwung? Don't be ridiculous.
Warwick has a question? But that might give away the answer,
if I ask that question. I'm pretty confident it won't. It might do.
I asked if sumo was in the Olympics.
What?
It's not in the Olympics but it's only a question of time.
OK. Next up, it's over to one of Britain's favourite paralympians, it's Ellie Simmonds. Yeah!
Hi, Jimmy. The London 2012 Olympic and Paralympic Games
were absolutely amazing and one of the hottest tickets
at the Paralympics was for an event known as murderball.
But can your teams tell me what murderball is?
OK. Ellie Simmonds wants to know what murderball actually is.
It's when you haven't had... for a while.
No, that's blue balls. Blue balls. Blue balls.
Blue balls. Blue balls is a different thing,
which, Russell, I imagine, has never had. Sorry?
The fly's back. The fly's back.
I caught him this time. Argh! Oh, my God! Did you see?
Ten points now! Ten points for fly catching. Mr Miyagi.
Pretty awesome. OK. What did Freddie Flintoff do that cost him his
vice captaincy of the England team during the 2007 Cricket World Cup?
How can we both catch a fly on one show and not get points? I mean...
I gave you a point the first time. Not one, that's about 1,000 points.
What are the chances of me catching the same fly later on?
How do you know it was the same one? Well, because he's called Chris.
One point is derisory for an achievement of that nature.
It is worth something, not many quiz shows can boast fly catching.
Hold on. What's going on there? What gadget is being employed there?
What? In the aid of question answering, there is an iPhone on public display.
We just got that phone out so that, if Chris comes back,
we can get a selfie with him.
And finally, time for another say-what-you-see puzzle. Good.
A massive sporting headline is hidden here, what is it?
Ooh! Sporting headline.
I like the low-level murmur that comes. Yes, this is...
A murmur of, "We're kind of watching but we'd better work this out."
Oh, oh, it's good, isn't it? That's got to be that bit.
That is right. That can't be anything but the first bit.
Oh, the murmur's getting... Oh, you quieten down with your murmuring.
Think of it in your head, you don't need to say it out loud.
OK. Ready for some answers? Yes.
OK. Of course you are. I asked what was memorable about Chris Kamara's
coverage of a Portsmouth-Blackburn match in 2010. What did you all put?
We put he sang Dancing On The Ceiling because he looks a bit like Lionel Richie.
Jonathan, Warwick, what did you put?
We put he did it in Klingon because he looks a bit like Worf.
Both acceptable, in my opinion.
Russell and Noel, you've got? We put he. He?
Well, that was the beginning of something.
He didn't know the... Somebody had been sent off. He didn't know that.
He didn't know the score. That is the right answer but I feel...
There you go then. What's the nature of the quiz?
Well, let's have a look.
We're off to Fratton Park where there's been a red card but for who, Chris Kamara?
I don't know, Jeff. Has there? I must have missed that. A red card?
Chris, have you not been watching? I haven't.
I don't know where that's come from, Chris,
I have no idea what has happened there.
What's happening, Chris? I don't know, Jeff.
Oh! Brilliant. Chris Kamara, we salute you.
Bloody marvellous. OK. I asked you in which discipline
you get judged on your wide behind, your purity and your schwung.
And we put every day of my life as an independent woman.
Hashtag go sisters.
The weird thing is, you wrote that not Claudia.
I kept on going, "Is it archery?" Is it... I don't know what it was.
No. Ladies, are you with me? Was it dressage? Yeah.
Yeah, it is, yeah. Is it? But you didn't write it. Yeah, it is.
I don't have to write it, it's in here.
Yeah, they kind of play that card. Can we have it once?
We've let Russell and Noel do it. Yeah, you can have a point for that.
Jonathan, Warwick, what did you think it was?
Well, we wrote 100-metres twerking.
But we are going to say out loud dressage.
We can have it once. We can have once. If they can have it.
Can you say 100-metres twerking again?
You can have one later on, if you get one.
Fine. Russell, Noel? Staggeringly enough, I didn't see this
happen. I must have been talking to Chris.
You wrote dressage when I wasn't looking.
Sometimes, I don't like to worry Noel with the quiz
because he's talking to Chris, he's got a lot on his mind.
So I just get on with it and let him relax.
Noel seemed genuinely a little bit upset there that you got one right.
Noel wrote it down, "I wasn't looking, sorry. Dressage."
No, it was like a little present, it was nice.
I was thinking, "Oh, it'd be nice if we got dressage."
And I looked down and we had, we had.
So I just thought, it's not the sort of thing we'd get right but...
Here we are, having done so.
OK. Well, points to Russell and Noel, points to Jack and Claudia there.
Ellie Simmonds asked what murderball is.
Jack and Claudia, you've got?
Oh, I'm sorry. I had this tiny sleep. It was...
We thought it was...
We've been here a while, why not? Go on. Just a little miniature one.
We thought it was water polo but with sharks.
You thought murderball was water polo... Go on.
Yes, with sharks and the ball is made of ham.
It's bringing an element of danger to what is otherwise just a jolly fun sport.
OK. That is not the right answer. Jonathan, Warwick?
We either think it's wheelchair rugby
or it's the name for the new Lottery game.
OK. Russell, Noel? It says wheelchair rugby there.
Like, you've got nothing to do with that? That just...
Again, I was deep in conversation with Chris,
I didn't even see that go down.
Well, it is wheelchair rugby. You both get points.
Good game.
OK. And I asked you how Freddie Flintoff lost his England
vice captaincy in 2007. What did you put?
You're going to say "pedalo" but it's incorrect
because that's just the thing that people used to get rid of him.
It was actually bad field settings, failure to bring spin bowlers into the attack at crucial points
and not rotating the seamers when necessary. You can say "pedalo"
but they were just waiting for that to happen
so that they could stab him in the back. Fact.
I can see we haven't got a lot of cricket fans in tonight.
It's maybe the wrong crowd.
That is a hell of an answer. Ten points. I will defend him.
Jonathan, Warwick? We put the correct answer, which is pedalo.
And you put? What is that scribble?
It's getting a bit hieroglyphicsy down here. I don't know.
We were doing so well, we started to formulate a new language.
But amidst it you can see, "He got drunk," you can see that in there.
Then we started to summon Chris.
It just says "Chris." We called down Chris
but underneath there it says number four, "He got drunk, pedalo."
It says there, pedalo. OK. So you get a point for that.
Point for that. No point for the cricket regulations. It's correct?
When we do Great Big Fat Cricket Quiz Of The Year,
then I'll be in for some points. And you'll be the only fucker here.
Ah!
OK. Yeah, he got drunk and he fell off a pedalo
and he got the nickname Fredalo, which is adorable.
OK. Finally, I asked you to say what you saw. Did you get it?
Jack, Claudia? We went for joust, fondle, unitard,
bread, needles, Jo Malone scented candle.
Noel and Russell, what have you put?
Doping Lance Armstrong. Because there's a lance and there's an arm,
then strong, dough, pin, scandal. Candle. Candle apple. Scandal.
So that's the correct answer. Can I just say?
We did write that. But this pen, the ink's run out in it
and we couldn't write the last... It's electric.
Oh, yeah.
It's lance, arm, strong, dough, pins, candle.
So you get a point. OK. Marvellous. Let's check in on the scores.
Russell and Noel have 20 points. Jonathan and Warwick have 23.
- Jack and Claudia have 14 points. - Yes!
Time for another break. Don't go away.
Welcome back. This round is all about people,
the movers and shakers of the last ten years.
Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes married in 2006 before divorcing in 2012.
The story of Katie bravely breaking away from her husband
to save her daughter is like something out of a movie,
a movie you wouldn't bother watching because Katie Holmes is in it.
Paul McCartney and Heather Mills split in 2006,
when Paul said the words that Heather had dreaded hearing,
"Would you like to hear some of my new stuff?"
Paris Hilton came to the world's attention in 2004
with a sex tape famously shot in night vision. I didn't mind that
but I did find the whispering commentary from Chris Packham a bit off-putting.
Ready for some more questions? Yes! Yes, let's do this.
Here we go. The people of the last ten years.
Despite having a spectacular meltdown in 2011
and losing the highest-paid job on television,
Charlie Sheen retained a very positive outlook,
he claimed to have tiger blood and Adonis DNA.
But what upbeat mantra did he keep using throughout it all?
So what was his mantra? This is what we're doing.
What shall we do? What do you mean, what shall we do?
What? Do some bloody quizzing.
Do some answering quiz questions. We've done that one.
All right. Have a look at this.
This is Chesley B "Sully" Sullenberger who, in 2009,
was described as a miracle worker and a true American hero.
What had he done to earn such a acclaim? Oh, yeah.
What? Sorry, what was that name? What did he do?
It was Chesley B "Sully" Sullenberger. Oh, great, thanks.
Got it. Got it. He was a miracle worker apparently.
Chesley B... "Sully" Sullenberger. That's it, yes. Sully Sullenberger.
No idea.
For our next question, it's over to my favourite hunk of the decade, Peter Andre, everyone. Yes.
Jimmy, how are you? I can't believe it's been 10 years.
Where does the time go? It truly is insania.
In 2010, an unassuming New York estate agent, Anna Chapman,
was propelled into the global spotlight because her remarkable
secret was revealed. But what was that secret? I don't know.
Major question, why the hell has he stolen Chico's hat?
Peter Andre wants to know how Anna Chapman
sprung to international notoriety. There she is.
It's a pretty good answer. Oh yeah.
She is, she's a...
Oh! Yeah, yeah.
Argh!
Ooh! OK.
Christian Bale starred in Terminator Salvation in 2009.
Bt what did he do on set that made the headlines?
It's a terrible film. Terminator Salvation? Yes.
Because I know everything about films.
If say Terminator Salvation's a bad film, don't watch it. When I mentioned the words...
When I gave my opinion, did I go like that at any stage?
You do it. Did I go like that at any stage?
There's a sort of air that you do. Like a sort of arrogant peacock.
Finally, over to one of Britain's finest actors, Mr Charles Dance,
who is reading an extract from the autobiography
of one of the biggest stars of the decade.
But who is the mystery author? Over to you, Charles.
Chapter three.
Hip-hop tracks have traditionally been heavy on the beats,
light on melody but some MCs,
Bone Thugs-N-Harmony for example,
find ways to work melodies into the rapping.
Other MCs, think about Run from Run-D.M.C.,
turn words into percussion.
"Cool chief rocker, I don't drink vodka,
"But keep a bag of cheeba inside my locker."
The words themselves don't mean much
but he snaps those clipped syllables out like drum beats,
bap, bap, bap, bap!
If you listen to that joint and came away thinking it was a simple rhyme
about holding weed in a gym locker, you'd be reading it wrong.
Do you like Charles Dance, Jonathan?
Yes, I like Charles Dance a lot. I think he's bloody good in films.
Warwick, have you worked with Charles Dance? I imagine you have.
No, I haven't, no. No, he's not had the good fortune to work with me.
OK. Well, are you ready for some answers? Yes.
Of course you are. OK. I asked you
what Charlie Sheen's upbeat mantra was. What did you put?
Winning. Winning. Winning. Winning. Yeah, we put that.
That is right. Do you know Charlie Sheen? Have you met Charlie Sheen?
As a matter of fact, I do know Charlie Sheen and during that explosive period
I went round his house and give him some advice
to give you some idea of how serious it was.
I said, "Charlie, you need to start making some changes."
"They were all enjoying the catchphrases."
"It looks to me like you'll be dead within the hour."
OK. So points for everyone. I asked you
what Chesley B "Sully" Sullenberger did in 2009 to earn such acclaim.
What did you all put? Take it away, Claudes.
Brought James Blunt to the USA.
He did not but he could have.
He could have. Jonathan, Warwick?
Warwick got this. I didn't have any idea.
Landed a plane on the Hudson. Oooh!
That is right. What did you guys get? I put turned into a shoe.
Russell put landed a plane on the Hudson.
Landed a plane on the Hudson is the right answer.
I remember the footage. It was incredibly... It was heroic. Yes.
He was kind of... He was very cool about it as well.
What I love is, it was America, so you knew they'd all be applauding.
If that was Britain, everyone on the plane would be,
"We're going to be late now, aren't we?"
Peter Andre asked you how New York estate agent Anna Chapman
sprang to international notoriety. Russell, Noel, let's go to you first.
I have to write the correct answers over things that Noel puts, like,
"Showed her bum-bum to God."
Did she show her bum-bum to God? It's a low point in the quiz for me.
A kind of mini-breakdown.
I put the correct answer just above it,
just to keep us in it. Spy, she is a spy.
OK. Thanks for talking us through your emotional process.
OK. Jonathan, Warwick, what did you get?
She was a Russian spy. When she went home to Russia, didn't Putin give her a tiger or something?
He gave her a tiger, panther or leopard as a pet. Really?
Yes, he gave her... That is correct. Putin gave her a python or a leopard.
It wasn't a python. How is a python like a leopard?
It hasn't got any legs. You are literally doing it there, come on.
- I am doing it, yes, I am. - Look at me.
OK, once. I did it once.
Oh, you got him, you got him. I did it once.
I got angry. He didn't give her a python!
He gave her a bloody tiger!
Did you get this, Jack, Claudia? Yes, spy, she's a spy. Spy.
She was a Russian spy out of a Bond film, look at that. Incredible.
I asked you what Christian Bale did
while filming Terminator Salvation. What did you all put?
Somebody was in his eye-line, they were in the light, I think it was
the first day, or something like that, and he shouted, he lost it.
He didn't do his normal acting shouting, shouting at someone he shouldn't have been shouting at.
He didn't go, "Hey!" He didn't do, "Where is she?!"
That is a terrifyingly good Batman.
Haven't practised that before.
You're joking.
Pretty good. Bloody good.
Young Jack Whitehall, in the new Batman film,
delivers a very convincing performance.
Russell, Noel, what have you got? We put, shouted at crew. And then...
And then Noel... Then Noel took over the pen for a while.
What have you got? We got, he did a Mel Gibson and he went nuts.
Someone I know was working as an extra,
you know the last Batman film with Bale, which was not very good,
and there was a big thing down in Wall Street. Yeah.
He was an extra on that and he's also from Wales,
which is where Christian Bale, I believe, is from originally.
And he went up to him and he's in character as Batman.
Do you like it when actors stay in character? Or is it a ditzy? Pretentious.
It's pretentious. He went, "All right, Christian? I'm from..."
this is a Welsh accent. "I'm from Wales too, whereabouts in Wales are you from?"
He went, "From Gotham."
"I know Batman. Where are you from?" He went, "Gotham," and walked off.
OK. Well let's treat ourselves to a listen
at a Welsh man going nuts on a film set.
"Oh, 'Da-da-da-da, ' like this in the background."
"What the fuck is it with you? Oh, good for you. And how was it?"
"I hope it was fucking good because it's useless now, isn't it?"
"No! Shut the fuck up, Bruce. Fuck sake, man, you're an amateur."
"I'm going to fucking kick your fucking ass,
"if you don't shut up for a second, all right?"
"Fucking ass!"
He says, "Shut the fuck up, Bruce," that's Bruce Wayne.
He's so... He can't get out of character.
So everyone gets a point for that. OK finally Charles Dance read
from an autobiography one of the biggest stars of the decade. Who was it? What did you all get?
We thought it was from Clare Balding's autobiography,
which was very popular, it was very popular, wasn't it?
And we both enjoyed it. And she does like the beats.
She loves the dirty grime.
She likes the jungle, the garage, she loves the garage.
Russell, Noel, what have you gone for? Common.
One of the biggest stars of the decade?
You bastards!
Someone texted you a message, you're saying, "Common,"
and you went, "Well, that'll... What else could they have fucking meant?
Jack, Claudia, what have you got?
Jay-Z or the boy called Dappy.
Well, let's go back to Charles Dance.
That was taken from the memoirs of Jay-Z.
Jay-Z. So points for Claudia and Jack on that.
So we've got a very special treat for you now, it's Mr Louie Spence.
Good to see you. Mwah! Mwah!
Oh! You loved it. I'm having a hot flush.
OK. So you came to fame in the last ten years,
Pineapple Studios, you are a huge star. Yes.
So what are you up to these days? What are you doing?
Pantomime. I'm that huge.
Now you're going to do some interpretive dance.
You're doing what you do best. This will be one of the big news stories
of the last ten years, Louie is going to dance that story. This is amazing.
You're going to write down what news story he is telling. I'm going to cry. I'm going to cry.
This is going to be beautiful. Amazing. Louie.
Oh!
I'm sorry, Chico!
Oh, he's still got it.
That was... I mean...
Wow!
That was emotionally draining but beautiful.
So that was one of the big news stories of the last decade.
Write down the answer. There was horses, he consumed, he fell ill.
That was that. He cooked, he cooked.
You are amazing. In the dance? Thank you, darling.
Do you know that? You are an amazing man. See what he does?
You are the greatest dancer.
Let's see what everyone got. Russell, Noel, have you got something?
Yeah, yeah. What have you got? Horse burgers.
Horse burgers, OK. Jonathan, Warwick?
Warwick got this, horse meat in lasagne. The horse-meat scandal.
Jack, Claudia? Horse-meat scandal. What were you dancing?
I was doing the horse-meat scandal. Yes! A round of applause.
Let's see the scores. Russell and Noel have 25 points.
Jonathan and Warwick are just in the lead with 28.
Jack and Claudia bringing up the rear with 19 points.
We're going to take a short break while I put back to sleep
the thing that Louie has awakened in me. See you in a bit.
Welcome back to the final part of the Big Fat Anniversary Quiz.
This round's all about the talking points and water-cooler moments
of the last ten years. Zumba was one of the dance exercise crazes
of the decade. The great thing about Zumba is... No, I got nothing.
Celebrity perfumes became all the rage.
David Beckham had Instinct. Britney Spears, Curious.
Cheryl Cole, Storm Flower.
And, of course, my fragrance, I'd Give That Five Minutes If I Were You.
The fox-hunting ban came into force in 2004. Rah!
Oh, dear.
The fox-hunting ban came into force in 2004.
Personally, I found it difficult to sympathise with them,
after all, they're just small-minded in-bred creatures
that don't actually do anything and, to make matters worse, they love hunting foxes.
That was the worst throw ever.
Well, let's have a look at the final lot of questions. Yeah. OK.
Which piece of advice, first coined
by the Ministry of Information in 1939,
unexpectedly became one of the most popular slogans of the last ten years?
Keep calm? Yeah.
OK. Charity wristbands became a great way to show your support
for a cause you love. Yellow wristbands represented
Lance Armstrong's Livestrong charity.
Blue symbolised your support for anti-bullying charities.
But what did a white wristband mean?
I know. So charity wristbands.
You're so bad. I want my own screen.
We have to have a bit of fun. You have to have a bit of fun.
We're playing against these two, who have cheated
because they know so much about movies and the whole thing has been about movies.
Those two, who have cheated for the entire game
by blatantly texting members of the audience.
They will probably then reward with sexual favours and cover in glitter.
Have you been texting? You haven't even tried to hide it.
We have participated in good faith in this quiz.
You bullshit. What's happening?
You clearly did. Oh! It's literally there.
Right, this is... World Of Warcraft.
Why do you have World Of Warcraft written?
What the...? Raise money for cancer.
See, we're trying to help people with cancer
and you have the gall... Let's call them. Call.
Look, all right. You can see... Sit back down, Che Guevara.
Have you answered? Hello?
You little shit!
That lad is an angel. I defend him.
Have you been trying to help Russell and Noel?
He's made a mockery of the entire evening.
Actually, they were working in consortium
and they were all very helpful, they were all sort of communicating
among one another. Isn't it better to see people working together as a real team
rather than a stupid quiz that don't even mean nothing anyway?
Yes! Clearly, this is anarchy. This is anarchy. We cannot have this.
This is anarchy, Jimmy. No, it's not anarchy. I'm keeping that.
This is bullshit It's like the end of Avatar,
flies were helping us, people helping us. It's justice.
Well, OK. Clearly, not only have you been cheating,
but you've got a lot of the answers wrong.
It's very appropriate that we are looking at a Lance Armstrong
wristband throughout the whole of this.
It's bang out of order. OK. Have a look at these three pictures.
What did each of these drivers blame for their mishap?
Jim? Yeah. Can I have my phone back? No.
All right, so, er...
What's this? Someone's just texted you to say Chris Tarrant
would let you ask the audience.
That's good, yeah. They're a lovely bunch.
That's good. I like that.
Yeah. You've won me back. You've won me back.
And for our next question, it's over to Abbey Clancy.
Hi, Jimmy.
In November 2005, British Airways sent a memo out to cabin staff
forbidding them from indulging in which noughties'
fad during take-off and landing?
OK? BA staff had to stop doing something?
Yeah, for take-off and landing. Got it.
Take-off and landing? Take-off and landing they couldn't do something.
Final question. What caused a surge in demand
for the Garra rufa fish in 2010? I actually know that.
We know this. You don't want us to get that.
Oh, was it the great John Dory drought?
Ready for some answers? Yeah. Let's go for it. OK.
I asked which phrase, coined by the Ministry of Information,
became one of the most popular slogans of the last ten years. What did you put? YOLO.
You think YOLO was coined in...? No, I don't.
But I'm with somebody who's 5. Obviously, not as YOLO.
It was "you only live once", which is what YOLO stands for. So...
Why would they give out that information?
Why would the government give out information, "you only live once"?
To encourage the kind of anarchy we've seen over here.
Noel, I'm not sure, or button man, how you speak but what did you put for this?
Is this "keep calm and carry on",
which is what he's doing, as matter of fact.
OK. Jonathan, Warwick? We...
First, we thought, "Vorsprung durch Technik."
But then we settled on "keep calm and carry on".
Keep calm and carry on is the right answer. Yeah.
I asked you what white charity wristbands symbolised.
Did anyone remember? No, you didn't say charity.
You said a white wristband and I said, "Escaped from a ward."
Yeah, but I...
Which is true.
You should have been more specific.
Jonathan, Warwick? We thought it was UKIP membership.
We thought that's what they wore. It's a purple and yellow wristband.
Not that I know.
It's make poverty history. Make poverty history is the right answer.
Russell, Noel? Well, this is at the juncture where you severed our
tie to the common mind, so we've just... we've put cancer.
You just wrote cancer as an answer?
That's the rest of our answers, is cancer, because you broke us.
Yeah, it's a popular TV quiz, maybe one of the answers is cancer.
Sure, sure. Maybe, maybe.
What about when that fucking geezer was dancing around as horse meat?
Nothing makes sense!
You make a very good point.
OK. I asked you what was to blame for those motoring mishaps.
Did you get this? Oh, I feel bad now. It's coming in a flurry.
Listening to Jonathan Ross's radio show. I know.
Because it's so brilliant.
You've just had a text in, by the way, saying, "make poverty history".
Well done, mate. Too little too late I fear.
OK, did you...? Yes, we did.
We looked at the pictures, we thought it might be climate change.
But then Warwick said he thinks it's satellite navigation systems.
Bollocks, yeah.
I'm guessing you didn't get this one then?
You OK? I'm all right, mate.
We got each other, ain't we? We've got your sparkly costume,
we got that helmet thing, we used to have Chris. He's gone.
Jimmy, the puppet man, has tried to break us but he never will.
Never break us, ten quizzes. We've got each other.
If anything, I've just made you stronger. OK.
Sat nav is the right answer. What are you making?
These are new wristbands, they're called make cheating history.
We'll sign up for those.
OK. Abbey Clancy asked you what British Airways staff
were forbidden from doing during take-off and landing.
- What did you put? - Losing our bags.
Not, not the right answer. Jonathan and Warwick?
We were torn between either the ice bucket challenge,
which would be a bad idea on a plane. During take-off, you think?
It would be a very bad idea during take-off and landing.
Or maybe Angry Birds. Angry Birds.
Angry Birds, you're closer with but it's not right.
Did you get this, Russell, Noel? You know we didn't.
Noel, are you actually asleep?
Hmm?
I can tell you, no-one got this, it's playing Sudoku.
I asked you why there was a surge in demand for the Garra rufa fish
in 2010. What have you got? Feet pedicure, fish thing.
That is the right answer.
Jonathan, Warwick, did you get this? Eating the skin on the feet.
OK. So, Russell, Noel, you actually got that right. Well done there.
They were able to mime it quite well.
Let's have a check in on the scores. So Jack and Claudia have 20 points.
Russell and Noel have 27. Jonathan and Warwick have 31.
It is still all to play for. Sorry? What? How?
How? How? I'll tell you how.
Because we have the final Big Fat Anniversary Quiz question.
And to ask it, all the way from the planet Skaro, ladies and gentlemen,
please welcome a Dalek.
Silence! You will obey.
Silence! Silence! These humans are malfunctioning.
Yes! Sure.
Welcome to the show. It's an honour to have you here.
Be silent or you will be exterminated.
All right.
You've got a question, I believe. Yes.
Show me the question immediately.
Er, there you go.
My vision is impaired. I cannot see correctly. There?
Better.
Focusing. I require three pieces of data from the last ten earth years.
The biggest-selling album.
The highest-grossing movie.
The best-selling app.
The humans over there will now answer.
Answer or be exterminated. Chill out!
We're looking for the best-selling album, the highest grossing film and the best-selling app.
These are all in the UK. In the UK? In the UK. Correct. That's the key.
Is this a male Dalek or a female Dalek?
It's hard to tell. I don't know where to look.
Excuse me, are you a male Dalek or a female Dalek?
There is no such thing as gender in the Dalek world.
Right, good. Don't matter that much in the human world.
You should work more outside of Dr Who. Have you had any offers?
Many.
He's on 8 Out Of 10 Cats next week. It's going to be huge. Yeah.
I will exterminate all the cats.
Oh, dear!
OK. Everyone's got answers. So, Russell, Noel, what have you got?
We think it's Blunt, Angry Birds. Avatar. And Avatar.
I thought it was Gaga but he's written Blunt. I can tell you, you've got one of those right.
Jack, Claudia? James Blunt, Back To Bedlam, obviously.
That's the one they got right.
Avatar, or as we call it, The Movie. One day, one day.
And... And Angry Birds. And Angry Birds.
And Angry Birds. OK. You got one right. Yeah. What? James Blunt.
Jonathan, Warwick, what have you got?
We got Angry Birds. We thought, because it's UK,
we thought Skyfall was the biggest movie.
Then we thought it'd be one of the Adele albums but we couldn't remember what number
because there's like 17, 18, 19. I don't know if she's done 21 yet.
Let's go back to the Dalek to find out the correct answers.
What were you looking for? The best-selling album was 21 by Adele.
We even got the year. Come on.
The highest-grossing film was Skyfall.
Come on! Come on! We did it together.
Come on! The best-selling app was Angry Birds. Yes!
We've done it.
Now you must all surrender to the Daleks!
Surrender or be exterminated!
What? Hang on a second. I'll do the final scores just before anyone surrenders.
So the final scores are... Let's see what's that done.
I can tell you, in last place are Jack and Claudia with 22.
The cheats with 29, Russell and Noel.
Well done. But the winners of the Big Fat Anniversary Quiz,
Jonathan and Warwick with 39 points. Yeah, thank you.
Boom! Boom! Boom!
Silence! Silence!
Exterminate! Exterminate!
Exterminate!
You have been watching the Big Fat Anniversary Quiz.
This planet is now under Dalek command.
Await further orders.
Daleks reign supreme. Daleks reign supreme.
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