网飞原创剧集
波林高中 海狸之家
学生自治会 快来报名竞选
欢迎来到俄勒冈州 波林
约凯特麦斯纳出来的方法
字幕翻译：简宥箴
繁转简：不是罗斯 合并双语：不是罗斯
诸事不顺 第一季 第一集
早安 波林高中 我是洁西卡贝兹 Good morning, BHS. I'm Jessica Betts.
我是史考特帕奇 And I'm Scott Pocket.
以下是今天的晨报 日期是1996年9月27日 星期五 And here are your announcements for Friday, September 27, 1996.
你在说笑吗？新的《星球大战》一定会超好看 The new Star Wars movies are gonna be awesome.
那不是新出的 他们要用数码的戏服毁了一切 They're not new. They're just ruining the originals with digital garb.
随便啦 反正一定会很酷炫 火字旁的炫 Whatever. They're gonna be Phat, Ph.
谢谢你解释给我听 不然我都不知道这个字怎么写 Well, gee, thanks for clarifying. I thought you meant obese.
-快走 两位 我们迟到了 -我们在等你 你才迟到了 -Let's go, gentlemen, we're late. -We were waiting for you. You're late.
你知道视听社在选修课程中 是最低级的吧？ Luke, you do realize that A/V Club is the lowliest of electives?
比合唱团还低 比气象社还低 It's beneath choir. It's beneath weather club.
他们应该将合唱团跟气象社结合 就变成气象合唱团了 They should combine choir and weather club. Weather choir.
多云或有偶阵雨 Cloudy with a chance of rain
各位 我们现在是在高中 我们要找到同路人 Guys, we're in high school now. We gotta find our people.
只能从我们熟悉的领域下手了 We might as well start with something we know.
就是视听社了 That's A/V club.
对啊 等到他们看过我们的电影 就会有挑不完的妹子了 Yeah. Once they see one of our movies, the ladies will come flocking.
我跟你保证 这扇门后一个女生都没有 I promise you, there isn't a single female behind those doors.
气象合唱团就会有 只是说说而已 There'd be ladies in weather choir. Just saying.
记得带一段独白 好好表现 同志们 Be sure to bring a monologue and break a leg, comrades.
没错 That's right.
麦斯纳校长在此 Principal Messner here.
祝各位有个愉快的周五 Wishing you a happy Friday.
谢谢各位回到学校的第一个礼拜 就这么活力充沛 And thanking you for a spirit-filled first week back at school.
各位新人 我等不及要认识你们了 And for all you freshman out there, I can't wait to get to know ya.
总之我们即将有个很精彩的开始 让我们保持下去吧 Anyway, we're off to a super start, so let's keep it up.
现场交还给你们 洁西卡和史考特 Back to you, Jessica and Scott.
谢谢你 麦斯纳校长 Thank you, Principal Messner.
今天的午餐是玉米粉裹热狗和薯块 For lunch today, corn dogs and tater tots.
你喜欢玉米粉裹热狗吗 洁西卡贝兹？ Do you like corn dogs, Jessica Betts?
不喜欢 接着是世界新闻 克林顿总统签署了捍卫婚姻法案 No. In world news, President Clinton has signed the Defensive of Marriage Act,
将婚姻定义成 一名男性与一名女性的结合 defining marriage as one man and one woman.
这样真可惜 因为我本想娶一个墨西哥卷饼 Well, that's a shame because I was gonna marry a burrito...
-一号摄影机怎么了？-洁西贝 -What's with camera one? -...Jessie B.
凯特麦斯纳 一号摄影机对焦 Kate Messner, camera one, focus.
还有一则世界新闻 祝肉卷生日快乐 Also, a world new. Happy birthday, Meatloaf.
-这名歌手今天49岁生日 -快点对焦 -The singer turns 49 today. -Come on, focus.
-做得好 -我在试了 -Good job. -I'm trying.
我在试了 I'm trying...
救命 Oh, help, help, help, help, help.
希望按对钮 That's it, I hope.
我真的不知道要怎么做 I don't even know how to do this.
-别碰了 -救命 -Stop touching it. -Help, help, help!
不 救命 Help, help!
救命 Help, help, help!
干 Fuck!
以上是今天的晨报 祝波林的各位有个美好的一天 And those are your morning announcements. Have a Boring day.
真是一场大灾难 That was a disaster.
实在太棒了 That was awesome.
我们要去哪里报名？ Where do we sign up?
开学才第一个礼拜 破事就已经发生了 The first week of school and the shit's already gone to shit.
欢迎来到视听社 新人们 Welcome to A/V club, freshman.
你好 Hi.
看来我们要变成合作伙伴了 It looks like we're gonna be partners.
刚刚史达格鲁夫先生跟我说了 我明天开始负责三号摄影机 According to Mr. Stargrove, I'm camera three starting tomorrow, so...
很好 Great.
有问题吗？ Having trouble?
我没事 谢谢 I'm good, thanks.
这些456型号的摄影机都不太好用 Well, these 456s are janky.
你确定我帮不上忙吗？ You sure I can't help?
可以麻烦你站过来吗？ Can you actually stand over there, please?
谢谢你 Thanks.
那个 Huh...
你失焦了 you're out of focus.
我知道 I know.
我正想解决这问题 I'm trying to fix that.
那今天算你幸运 Well, it's your lucky day.
我正好知道要怎么解决 I, uh, I know exactly how to fix this.
是吗？ You do?
对 Yeah.
那问题在哪？ What's wrong with it?
镜头上有脏污 所以自动对焦就卡住了 Well, there's gunk on the lens. Makes the auto-focus get stuck.
但我家有工具 But I have tools at home.
我可以把这台摄影机借回家吗？ Can I check this out or something?
你是新人吗？ Are you a freshman?
严格来说是 Technically.
新人不能借设备 Freshman can't check out gear.
也对 Right.
那也许你可以借了 然后来我家检查看看 Well, maybe you can check it out and come over to my place.
我不知道 如果你有空的话 Or I don't know, if you're not doing anything.
好啊 可以啊 没问题 Um, yeah, all right, cool beans.
好 那很酷 Uh... cool as beans.
抱歉 说了蠢话 我是路克 Sorry, that was stupid. I'm Luke.
顺带一提 全名是路克欧尼尔 Luke O'Neil, by the way.
凯特 Kate.
"该死 吉娜" 你怎么办到的？ Damn, Gina, how'd you do that?
我做了什么？ How'd I do what?
跟女生说话 Ta-- talk to a girl.
我不知道 就刚好说到话了 Uh, mm, I don't know. Just happened, I guess.
她放学后要来我家 She's coming over after school.
她怎样？等一下 你不觉得我们应该讨论一下吗？ She's what? Wait a minute. Don't you think we should discuss this?
-为什么？-因为她高二 -Why? -Cause she's a sophomore.
所以呢？ So?
吓死我的毛 老女人呢 Holy snikies, older woman.
你省着点 罗蜜欧 Hey, easy there, Romeo.
你这是在玩钚 You are tampering with plutonium.
钚？ Plutonium?
刚刚跟你说话的学生是凯特麦斯纳 That student you were just talking to, that's Kate Messner.
是麦斯纳先生的女儿 All right? That's Mr. Messner's daughter.
你再说一次是谁？ Who's that again?
麦斯纳先生 校长啊 Mr. Messner, the principal.
万事小心 Proceed with caution.
-校长的女儿 -采取行动？ -The principal's daughter. -Proceed?
纳森先生 Mr. Knudsen!
没错 小纳纳 今晚要得点分吗？ Yeah, Knudie. We gonna put some points on the board tonight?
我看不太可能 I wouldn't bet on it.
那我希望 你今天午餐有带不后悔三明治 Well, I hope you brought a crow sandwich for lunch,
因为你 凯特 'cause you're gonna-- Kate!
亲爱的 是不是很酷？ Hey, sweetie, was that cool or what?
我一定要再多上几次晨报 I gotta be on the announcements more often.
-爸？-怎样？ -Dad? -Yeah?
我们今年可以订新规定吗？ Can we make a new rule this year?
当然可以 我洗耳恭听 Of course, I'm all ears.
你可以不要在学校跟我说话吗？ Can you not talk to me while I'm at school?
假装我是其他普通的学生 Like, pretend I'm any other student.
就像我不存在一样 Like I don't exist.
好吧 可以 如果这是你想要的 那我想 Uh, okay, yeah. If that's what you'd prefer, I suppose--
就是我要的 It is.
再见 Bye.
那祝你接下来的一天都顺心喔 Well, have a great rest of your day.
对不起 I'm sorry.
好了 去上课吧 All right, get to class.
你好啊 Yo, D.
不会吧 No way.
你疯了 路克 处理一下 You're out of your mind! Luke, settle this.
处理什么？ Settle what?
这首荒谬的歌 "赢了乐透然后隔天就死亡"？ That ridiculous song. Winning the lottery and dying the next day?
那人都已经98岁了 The subject is 98 years old.
98岁的时候死亡哪里讽刺？ There's nothing ironic about dying at 98.
"在婚礼那天下雨"？ Rain on your wedding day?
讽刺的地方 就在于他们选择在那天结婚 It's ironic because they chose that day to get married!
那他们就是白痴 根本就是天作之合 Well, then, they're morons, and they deserve each other!
他们都不看未来五天的天气预报吗？ Do these people not have five
艾拉妮丝莫莉塞特 到底是住在怎样的童话世界？ What kind of fairy tale world does Alanis Morissette live in?
加拿大 Canada!
-可以吃一点薯片吗？-可以 -Can I have a chip? -Oh, yeah.
谢啦 Thank you.
-要忍受四年 -现在才第一周 会变好的 -Four years of this. -It's week one. It'll get better.
往好一点的地方想 麦奎德 Look on the bright side, McQuaid.
我表亲里斯说高中生都会上床 My cousin Reese says everyone has sex in high school.
就连书呆子也一样 书呆子彼此会上床 Even nerds, like, with each other.
根据我的计算 我有2%的概率在高三时跟人上床 According to my calculations, there's a 2% chance I get laid by senior year.
蛮让人宽心的 这样比较没压力 Kinda comforting, truthfully. Takes the pressure off.
-你有帮我算吗？-好一点 但也没好多少 -Did you run my number? -Better. Not by much.
那路克呢？有女生要去他家了 What about Luke? A girl is going to his house!
-算是约会了 -这才不是约会 我只是要帮她修摄影机 -It's practically a date. -It's not a date. I'm fixing her camera.
-你低估了这情况代表的意思 -没错 -You are underestimating the implications. -Truth.
而且只有我 担心史达格鲁夫先生今早说的话吗？ Also, am I the only one concerned by what Mr. Stargrove said?
他只是在闹我们 她是校长的女儿又怎样？ He was just messing with us. She's the principal's daughter. So what?
他将她比喻成 地球上最危险的放射性物质 He compared her to the most dangerous radioactive material on the planet.
就算只是跟校长的女儿做朋友 就像在脸上喷漆变成目标 Even befriending the principal's daughter is like painting a target on your face.
连我跟泰勒也会受到牵连 And mine and Tyler's by association.
我是说 看看我们 情况已经够糟了 I mean, look at us, it's bad enough.
是啊 你觉得呢 泰勒？ Yeah. What do you think, Tyler?
她看起来很酷 但她是高二生 She seems cool. But she is a sophomore.
"抱最大的希望 做最坏的打算" High hopes, low expectations.
我继父总是这样说 That's what my step dad always says.
但话说回来 他不过是个 用疯子之名替狗命名的酒鬼 Then again, he's an unemployed alcoholic who named his dog after a psychopath.
-查尔斯曼森还好吗？-一直放屁 -How is Charles Manson? -Oh, farts a lot.
你们说得对 我们有什么好聊的？ You guys are right. What are we even talking about?
-说不定她根本不记得我的名字 -路克 -She probably doesn't remember my name. -Hey, Luke.
很好 我是说 你好 Good. Good, I mean... hey.
-放学后约在旗杆那吗？-好 -Meet by the flagpole after school? -Y-y-yeah.
到时候见 See you then.
钚 Plutonium.
你觉得我是荡妇？ You think I'm some kind of slut?
不 我知道你就是个荡妇 荡妇 No. I know you're a slut, slut.
你跑去跟别人睡了 Thou hast slept with another!
满口胡言 是哪个骗子跟你说这样的谎言？ Untwist thy tongue! What merchant of deceit hath sold you such untruths?
你睡梦时的喃喃呓语 说出了你不忠的事实 In thy sleep when thou didst dream, thou didst chirp infidelities!
的确 但做梦的人时常说谎 恍惚地沉入梦乡 Forsooth! But dreamers often lie, asleep in a trance!
就像那些男孩及男人 要我脱下他们的裤子一样 As boys and men alike ask me into their pants.
都是谎言 Counterfeit!
是你让我这样做的 贱人 Thou hast made me do this, you bitch!
不 No!
匕首 我是你的刀鞘 Dagger, I am thy scabbard!
刚刚是怎样？ What was that?
收镜 Scene!
-我是奥利佛薛马伦 -我是伊曼琳雅达利亚 -I am Oliver Schermerhorn. -And I am Emaline Addario.
请别忘了《凡尼亚舅舅》试镜 本周三会在礼堂举行 Auditions for Uncle Vanya will be held next Wednesday in the auditorium!
有可能就是你 This could be you.
显然主角是由我们主演 We are obviously playing the leads,
但配角和幕后团队仍然在招募中 but lesser roles and crew positions remain available!
-加入我们 -加入我们 -Join us! -Join us!
午安 史塔克小姐 Good afternoon, Miss Stock.
你好 肯 Hi, Ken.
我怎么觉得这周很少见到你 你收到我的消息了吗？ I-I feel like I've barely seen you. Did you get my messages?
肯 我们今年暑假过得很开心 Ken, we had fun this summer.
我同意 Agreed!
但暑假已经结束了 Summer's over.
这样啊 别担心 Oh, don't worry.
根据地区守则 我们的关系是被允许的 According to the district handbook, our goings-on are permissible.
只要我们不在校园里交媾 Uh, provided we don't copulate on school grounds.
你并不吸引我 肯 生理上完全没有 I'm not attracted to you, Ken. Physically, like, at all.
你还好吧？ You okay?
当然了 对 Of course, yeah. I--
我很高兴你告诉我 真的 I'm glad you said something, actually. I-- honesty.
只是有点残酷 但这样是最好的 Just, brutal honesty, it's just the best policy.
我只能谢谢你 我很感谢你 I-I can only thank you for that. I appreciate this.
还是朋友吧？ Friends?
同事应该更好 Colleagues, might be better.
同事 没错 我可以接受 Colleagues. Yeah, hey, I'll take it!
对了 还有 肯？ Oh, and Ken
怎么了？ Yeah?
-复印机快没墨水了 -好 -The copier's low on toner. -Oh.
-上衣很好看 -谢谢 -Nice shirt. -Thanks.
多莉艾莫丝怎么了？ So, what's up with Tori Amos?
你没听过多莉艾莫丝？ Uh, you've never heard of Tori Amos?
我有听说过她 但我对她的音乐不熟 Well-- well, I've heard of her, but I don't know her music that well.
-你喜欢她吗？-对 她很棒 -You like her? -Uh, yeah. She's amazing.
她的音乐跟你以前听过的都不一样 She's like nothing you've ever heard before.
这样啊 怎么说？ Oh, cool. Like what?
我不知道 如果你没听过 我要怎么跟你解释？ I don't know. How can I explain if you've never heard it?
试试看啊 You can try.
好吧 Okay.
有一首歌到一半 她开始哭起来 Well, there's this one song where halfway through she just starts crying.
接着就是她边弹琴边哭边唱歌 And it's her just singing and playing the piano and crying.
感觉很真实 And it's just so real.
天啊 Wow.
她的第一张专辑叫做《小地震》 And her first album is called Little Earthquakes.
-你知道这是什么意思吗？-不知道 -Know what that means? -No.
高潮 Orgasms.
她用高潮替整张专辑命名 Like, she totally named an entire album after orgasms.
至少我是这样听说的 Or that's what I heard.
听起来很杀 Sounds bad ass.
兄弟 Oh, hey, man.
你可以帮我们在标志前拍照吗？ Hey, would you take a picture of us in front of the sign?
-好 -那好 Okay. All right.
准备好了 Ready.
一 二 One, two and...
你有发现他们根本没进镇吗？ You ever notice they never actually go into town?
他们发现了这个标志 拍张照就走了 They just find the sign, take a picture, then leave.
算他们好运 Lucky them.
太好了 是哥伦比亚之家 Oh, sweet! Columbia House.
拿着 Hold this.
-你收到什么信？-我们来看看 -What'd you get? -Let's see.
绿洲合唱团的新专辑 New Oasis.
-应该很好听 -是啊 但我已经有了 -That's supposed to be good. -Yeah, well, I already have it.
我忘记寄回去了 I forgot to mail the thing back.
你要吗？ You want it?
谢谢 但应该可以换很多商店抵用金 Oh, oh, thanks, but you can get a lot of store credit for that.
不 真的没关系 拿去吧 Oh, no, it's, it's fine really. Take it.
谢谢 Thanks.
抱歉有点脏 Sorry about the dust.
你可以到处看看 Feel free to look around.
你怎么会这么懂摄影机这类的东西？ So, how do you know so much about cameras?
我爸爸曾是婚礼摄影师 My dad used to be a wedding videographer.
我小时候他给我看过一些东西 He showed me some stuff when I was a kid.
我想这对我来说是很自然的一件事 I guess it just kinda comes naturally to me.
他现在在做什么？ What's he do now?
谁？我爸？ Who, my dad?
谁在乎？ Who cares?
我七岁的时候 他丢下我跟我妈 He bailed on me and my mom when I was seven.
如果你想找不负责任的老爸 那李洛伊欧尼尔一定榜上有名 If you look up "deadbeat dad," there'd be a picture of Leroy O'Neil.
显然他现在在好莱坞 Apparently, he's in Hollywood now.
你想他吗？ Do you miss him?
不想 No.
那你妈妈呢？ What about your mom?
她现在在大西洋上空八公里处 She's, uh, five miles above the Atlantic right now.
什么？ What?
她是空服员 She's a flight attendant.
有时候她会一整个礼拜都不在家 其实这样还不错 Sometimes she's gone for a whole week, which kinda rules.
我就能熬夜 或是租限制级电影 I get to stay up late. Rent rated "R" movies.
影片出租店的人都认识我 这样很酷 They know me at Video Shack, which is cool.
比起青少年 我更像大人 真的 I'm more like an adult than a teenager, really. So...
这里面有什么？ What's on these?
我不知道 Oh, I don't know.
我想应该是我爸的 我一直都想看看那是什么 I think they were my dad's. I've been meaning to check them out.
你为什么会加入视听社？ What made you join A/V?
应该是因为看起来蛮好玩的 It seemed mellow, I guess.
我爸一直想让我竞选学生自治会会长 My dad was trying to get me to run for ASB.
好像因为他是模范学生 所以我也得跟他一样 It's like I have to be some exemplary student 'cause of who he is.
真讨厌 Sucks.
麦斯纳先生 但你知道 他看起来蛮酷的 Mr. Messner. You know, he actually seems kinda cool.
我不会这样形容他 Not the term I would use.
那麦斯纳太太呢？ What about Mrs. Messner?
她死了 She died.
我很遗憾 Sorry.
怎么会这样？她生病了 How'd it happen? She was sick.
我们 你不需要聊没关系 We don't... you don't have to talk about it.
没关系的 It's all good.
没事 It's okay.
她过世后 他们叫我去看心理辅导 After she died, they made me talk to a counselor.
五岁的小孩要跟心理辅导员说什么？ What's a five-year-old supposed to say to a counselor?
他们还叫我做一个 愚蠢的艺术手工计划 And they had me make this stupid arts and crafts project.
叫做"尖叫箱" It's called a Scream Box.
我想要尖叫的时候 都可以对着那个箱子尖叫 And I was supposed to scream into it whenever I needed.
我从没用过 I never used it.
但我爸有用过 My dad did though.
后来我回到学校 大家都不跟我说话了 And then, I came back to school, and everyone stopped talking to me
因为他们知道我没有妈妈了 because they knew I didn't have a mom anymore.
我那时候只想消失 I wanted to disappear.
事实上我也算消失了 It's like I actually did, kind of.
看起来怎么样？ How's it look?
很完美 Oh, perfect.
就像新的一样 Like new.
你确定你不想要带些什么走吗？果酱馅饼怎么样？ Sure you don't want anything for the road? Like a Pop Tart?
果汁呢？花生果酱三明治？ Hi P, B and J?
你真可爱 You're cute.
礼拜一见 See you on Monday.
我很可爱 I'm cute.
-肉卷还是水管意大利面 亲爱的？-爸 -Meatloaf or Ziti, sweetie? -Dad!
抱歉 只想知道你想不想 Oh! Sorry! Just wanted to know if you wanted to...
你知道 凯特 You know, Kate,
你想看这种杂志是没关系的 it's okay if you want to look at this magazine.
如果要老实说的话 我也看过几本 I've seen a few myself, if I'm being honest.
但我希望你知道 But I want you to know
就是你不需要 变得像杂志上这些女生一样 is that you don't have to look like the girls in these magazines.
真正的男人 会被各种外表和身材的女人吸引 Real men are attracted to women of all shapes and sizes.
胸部什么的 Breasts, and uh,
-还有屁股 和下面那块 -爸 -bottom, and uh, pubis area... -Dad.
我只想让你记得 魅力不仅限于我们的身材 What I want you to remember is attraction is not limited to our physical forms.
尽管有些人可能这样觉得 Despite what some people may believe.
知道了 谢谢 爸 Um, got it. Thanks, Dad.
随时都可以聊聊 亲爱的 Anytime, sweetie.
那你现在可以离开我的房间了吗？ Can you get out of my room now, please?
那就吃水管意大利面吧 Ziti it is.