好了，莫蒂，你准备好我们的冒险了 All right, Morty, you ready for our adventure
去失落的亚特兰蒂斯城？ to the Lost City of Atlantis?
我永远都准备好了，瑞克。 Ready as I'll ever be, Rick.
-门打开-哦，他妈的。 -[ Portal opens] -Oh, for fuck's sake.
你好，我是里克K-22，这是我的天。 Hello. I'm Rick K-22. This is my Morty.
我们要从现实走向现实 We're going from reality to reality
要求Ricks贡献 asking Ricks to contribute
到瑞克重建基金的堡垒。 to the Citadel of Ricks Redevelopment Fund.
你是什么，笨蛋？ What are you, stupid?
我们已经完成了瑞克斯的堡垒。 We're done with the Citadel of Ricks.
我一开始就没有和它在一起。 l was [burps] never on board with it in the first place.
这就是为什么我杀了所有的人，让它腐烂。 That's why I murdered everyone in charge and left it to rot.
哦，那是你。 Oh, that was you.
-他们想先杀了他。-哦，天哪。 -They tried to murder him first. -Aw, geez.
我们，你会很高兴地知道委员会已经走了。 We||, you'll be happy to know that the council's gone now.
是的，他知道。他杀了他们。 Yeah, he knows. He murdered them.
-你想要控制你的早晨吗？-每天。 -You want to rein in your Morty? -Every day.
瑞克重建基金的堡垒捐赠—— The Citadel of Ricks Redevelopment Fund donates --
莫蒂，他不会捐的。 Morty, he's not gonna [burps] donate.
你在向警察投球 You're pitching the Policeman's Ball
给这里的一个黑人青年。 to a black teenager here.
-我们走吧。-你不必是一个迪克。 -Let's go. -You don't have to be a dick.
我想你知道这不是真的。 I think you know that's not true.
天啊，我不知道还有瑞克斯和马泰斯 Geez. I didn't know there were still Ricks and Mortys
住在城堡里。 living on the Citadel.
我想知道他们的日常生活是什么样的。 I wonder what their day-to-day lives are like.
好吧，你可以一直想知道 Well, you can keep wondering that
当我们进行一场有趣的，新鲜的， while we go on a fun, fresh,
亚特兰蒂斯的独立冒险。 self-contained adventure to Atlantis.
任何继续探索城堡的人都是愚蠢的 Anyone continuing to explore the Citadel is either stupid
或者是不幸的数百万 or one of the unfortunate millions
被他们可怕的想法绑架了。 held hostage by their terrible ideas.
伙计，我很高兴我不是他们中的一员！ Man, I'm glad I'm not one of them!
在那个地平线上的某个地方 J‘ Somewhere out on that horizon J‘
在霓虹灯的照耀下 J‘ Out beyond the neon lights J‘
我知道一定有什么更好的东西 J‘ I know there must be somethin' better J‘
但是没有别的地方可以看到 J‘ But there's nowhere else in sight J‘
jlt在城市里的生存 J‘ lt's survival in the city J‘
当你每天都生活在J'的时候 J‘ When you live from day to day J‘
杰斯城的街道上没有太多的遗憾 J‘ City streets don't have much pity J‘
当你倒下的时候，你就会呆在那里 J‘ When you're down, that's where you'll stay J‘
播音员里克：Citadel早间新闻。 ANNOUNCER RICK: Citadel Morning News.
早上有关于城堡的消息， News about the Citadel in the morning,
这是不言自明的。 pretty self-explanatory.
早上好，我是里克D-71SB。 Good morning. I'm Rick D-71SB.
-我是Rick D-716。-一定很好。 -And I'm Rick D-716. -Must be nice.
接下来，在东桑切斯高地的重力中断。 Coming up, gravity outages in East Sanchez Heights.
是你的铀的ce u ar矩阵 And is your uranium-powered ce||u|ar matrix
让你生病？ making you sick?
答案可能不会让你感到惊讶。 The answer may not surprise you.
是的，它是铀。 lt's -- Yes, it's uranium.
这些故事在这段时间之后。 Those stories and more after this break.
SAM ELLIOT：在中心有限曲线上的60次迭代， SAM ELLIOT: 60 iterations off the central finite curve,
有一个Rick和木头一起工作 there's a Rick that works more with wood
而不是极性电镀。 than polarity plating.
他的名字叫里克，但他不是笨蛋。 His name is Simple Rick, but he's no dummy.
他很久以前就意识到 He realized long ago
这是他创造的最伟大的东西 that the greatest thing he'd ever create
是他的女儿。 was his daughter.
我爱爸爸！ I love Daddy!
山姆艾略特：我们抓住了那一刻。 SAM ELLIOT: We captured that moment.
我们在一个循环中通过简单的Rick的思想， We run it on a loop through Simple Rick's mind,
他的大脑分泌的化学物质 and the chemical it makes his brain secrete
进入每一个简单的Rick的“简单的晶片”饼干。 goes into every Simple Rick's "Simple Wafers" Wafer Cookie.
回到不可能的味道 Come home to the impossible flavor
你自己的完成。 of your own completion.
回到简单的里克的家。 Come home to Simple Rick's.
就在我们新民主党的CitadeI前的一天 Just one day remains before our newly democratic CitadeI
选举第一任总统。 elects its first President.
在里克的候选人中有任何人的竞争。 lt's anyone's race among the Rick candidates.
但是另一个候选人应该得到 But a certain other candidate should be getting
至少有一票是最可爱的。 at least one vote for most adorable.
对的，那个有道德的候选人还在竞选中， That's right. The Morty party candidate's still in the race,
你一定会爱上他的。 and you just gotta love him for that.
里克。D-716：在这里你看到他穿着他的小西装，挥舞着。 RICK D-716: Here you see him in his little Morty suit waving.
瑞克D-716B：这不是很可爱吗？ RICK D-716B: Isn't that adorable? LittIe jackass.
RICK D-716：嗯，是的，我想我们实际上有 RICK D-716: Uh, yeah, I think we actually have
这是他演讲的音频。 the audio for his speech here.
“哦，天哪，伙计。” "Aw, geez. Aw, man.
我将会输掉选举和其他东西。” I'm gonna lose the election and stuff."
都笑 [ Both laugh ]
我们跑得很好，先生， We had a good run, sir,
但我认为是时候退出比赛了。 but I think it's time to pull out of the race.
对今晚的辩论充满信心。 | feel pretty confident about tonight's debate.
你不应该，先生。你应该感到害怕。 You shouldn't, sir. You should be terrified.
也许你应该找到一点信仰，年轻人。 Maybe you should find a little faith, young man.
你不付钱让我有信仰。 You don't pay me to have faith.
我们年龄相仿！ And we're the same age!
AII欢呼 [AII cheering]
-啊！-哇！ -Aah! -Whoa!
哦，对不起，H是在等—— Oh. Sorry. H was expecting --
一个里克搭档？ A Rick partner?
第一课，新秀，期待意外。 Lesson one, rookie, expect the unexpected.
现在，进来吧。 Now, get in.
摩里斯是人！ Mortys are human!
滚开，你这该死的笨蛋！ Get the fuck off the car, you RickIess fuckin' animaI!
-哇！-莫蒂警察：eIection -Whoa! -MORTY COP: The eIection's
这些yeIIow的衬衫更容易被激怒 got these yeIIow shirts more riled up
比一个照片日的杰西卡。 than a picture-day Jessica.
这太苛刻了，先生。 That's pretty harsh, sir.
所以报告我，没人管他。 So report me. Nobody gives a fuck.
听着，我只是说，这让我有点难过 Look, I'm just saying, it makes me a little sad
去听一个有道德的警察对动物的尸体。 to hear a Morty cop caIIing Mortys animals.
好吧，听到另一个里克警察的声音让我很难过 Well, it makes me sad to hear another Rick cop
接受他的敏感训练。 buying into his sensitivity training.
好吧，我很高兴知道有更多像我这样的人。 Well, I'm glad to know there's more like me.
哦，有一个。 Oh, there was one.
你为什么认为那个座位是空的？ Why do you think that seat was empty?
瑞克调度：第五大道和贝尔奇大街的抢劫。 RICK DISPATCH: Robbery at Fifth and [belches] Avenue.
第五，这是一个莫蒂镇。 Fifth and [belches] That's Morty Town.
第七单元回应。 Unit seven responding.
-啊-啊！ -[ Zaps} -Ohh!
警报声 [Siren wailing]
里克老师：好主意，瑞克。 RICK TEACHER: Good idea, Rick.
所有的学生：好主意，瑞克。 ALL MORTY STUDENTS: Good idea, Rick.
这是一次伟大的冒险。 This is a great adventure.
所有：这是一次伟大的冒险。 ALL: This is a great adventure.
里克老师：我喜欢做你的新妈妈。 RICK TEACHER: I love being your new Morty.
我喜欢做你的新工作。 ALL: I love being your new Mor--
-法蒂。-笑声 -Farty. -[ Laughter]
很有趣，史密斯先生。 Very amusing, Mr. Smith.
几乎和你的第一个Rick一样有趣 Almost as amusing as when your first Rick
在佐万神殿被斩首。 was decapitated on Zorpantheon Nine.
或者那是你的第三个里克？你有多少个瑞克？ Or was that your third Rick? How many Ricks have you had?
-五。-看。 -Five. -| see.
所以你是班上的第一名。 So you are top of the class in something.
明天你将被转移到你的新里克斯。 Tomorrow you'll be transferred to your new Ricks.
希望他们会是你的最后一个。 Hopefully they will be your last.
是的，SIow Ri——高大的Morty？ Yes, SIow Ri-- Tall Morty?
迪——我这段时间没做过吗？ Di-- Did I gradgitate this time yet?
一切皆有可能，泰伊莫蒂。 Anything's possible, TaII Morty.
-呻吟-大笑 -[ Groans] -[ Laughter]
铃环 [Bell rings]
我想我们以后不会再见面了，是吧？ I guess we won't be seeing each other after this, huh?
我说我们把最后一天算在内。 I say we make our last day count.
我说。我们去许愿门。 I say...we go to the Wishing Portal.
-那是一个神话。-t不是神话。 -That's a myth. -|t's not a myth.
我的第一个Rick的第四个 My first Rick's fourth Morty
知道有个里克，他的莫蒂去了那里。 knew a Rick whose Morty went there.
如果我们不是为了毕业而来， If we're not here for graduation,
我们的屁股将会在莫蒂镇结束。 our butts are gonna wind up in Morty Town.
我以为你的最后一个瑞克把你和蜥蜴融合在一起了， I thought your last Rick fused you with a lizard,
不是一只鸡。 not a chicken.
好吧，我在。 Okay, fine. I'm in.
我也是。 Me too.
-怎么了？！-我以为我看到了一只苍蝇。 -What the hell?! -I thought I saw a fly.
警报声 [Alarm blaring]
主管里克：口哨 SUPERVISOR RICK: [Whistles]
听着，去他妈的。 Listen up, fuck nuts.
我做你的主管已经5年了， I've been your supervisor for five years,
但是所有的糟糕的事情都要结束了， but all shitty things must come to an end,
我被提升为区域经理。 and l have been promoted to regional manager.
模拟欢呼 [Mock cheering]
是的，我也有同样的感觉。可能再也不会见面了。 Yeah, I feel the same way. May be never meet again.
当然，这就意味着 Of course, that makes
主管阿瓦伊伯的职位， the position of supervisor avaiIabIe,
所以，下周，你将会亲吻你的屁股 so, as of next week, the ass you'll be kissing
会是…… will be that of...
K-83，被亲切地称为COO！瑞克。 K-83, affectionately known as COO! Rick.
-所有的抱怨-我知道我对城堡是陌生的， -[ All grumbling] -I know I'm new to the Citadel,
你们中的一些人可能不会认为我投入了我的时间， and some of you might not think I put in my time,
但我能说什么呢？ but what can I say?
我是库里克！ l'm CooI Rick!
哟！哈！哈！看看我！ Yo! Ha! Ha! Check me out!
好了，大家都知道了，有什么问题吗？ All right knuck|e[burps]heads, any questions?
好吧，那么，回到工作岗位上，你们这些淘金者。 All right, then, back to work, you gold rickers.
嘻哈音乐 [Hip-hop music plays]
没有人，没有家庭， No Ricks, no families,
他们的屁股高高在上，而且还在奔跑。 high off their asses, and running amuck.
摩太斯被提升为侧踢。 Mortys are raised to be sidekicks.
没有边踢，他们就开始踢。 Without a side to kick, they just start kicking.
它们是关于我的身高， They were -- They were about my height,
大约14岁。 around 14 years old.
哦，他们的——他们的衬衫是yeiow！ Oh, their -- their shirts were yeIIow!
是的，一定要把它弄下来。 Yeah, make sure you get that down.
任何突变，增强？ Any mutations, augmentations?
呃，三只眼？一个太大？也许是一个小切口？ Uh, three eyes? A taiI? Maybe a buzz cut?
不，只是四次正常的死亡。 No. Just four normal Mortys.
-诺玛？-把它放在你的生物格里。 -Norma|? -Put it in your bIog.
让我翻几块石头。 Let me turn over a few rocks.
哦，天哪，伙计们，怎么了？ Aw, geez. Hey, what's goin' on, fellas?
哦，天哪，老兄。没什么，伙计。 Aw, geez, man. Nothing, man.
我们只是在闲逛。 We're just hanging out and stuff.
听着，天啊。 lhearthat Aw, geez.
我想我应该在外面 I guess I'm supposed to be figurin' out
谁抢劫了街对面的商店。 who robbed the store across the street.
但是，天啊，我不知道。 But, aw, geez, I don't know.
哦，天哪，真糟糕 Aw, geez man, that sucks
你的里克让你这么做。 that your Rick's making you do that.
他不是我的里克，他是我的搭档。 He's not my Rick. He's my partner.
哦，天哪。 Aw, geez.
好吧，也许制服会有很大的不同。 Well, maybe the uniform makes a big difference.
谁能说呢？ Who am | to say?
对我来说，你看起来就像一个伙伴。 To me, you just look like a sidekick.
再叫我一个伙伴吧！ Call me a sidekick one more time!
-叫我一个伙伴！-嘿，伙计！来吧！啊，天啊！ -Call me a sidekick! -Hey, man! Come on! Aw, geez!
想看看我是怎么画墙的吗？ Wanna see how I paint a wall?!
这是一个道德小镇，伙计！ It was the Morty Town Locos, man!
——这是一个有道德的小镇，罗科斯！ -The -- The Morty Town Locos! -[ Groans]
啊！啊！ Aah! Aah!
你知道你刚刚违反了多少密码吗？ Do you realize how many codes you just violated?
哦，天哪，瑞克。 Aw, geez, Rick.
我对“知识”有什么了解？ What do I know about knowin' stuff?
进到他妈的车里去。 Get in the fuckin' car.
更多的Iasers。 More Iasers.
如果你愿意，你可以花更多的时间来回答这个问题。 You could take more time to answer the question if you like.
好了，杂耍里克， Okay, Juggling Rick,
你如何解决Citadel的金融危机？ how would you solve the Citadel's financial crisis?
首先，我想说我相信这个CitadeI First off, can ljust say that I believe this CitadeI
是整个诗节中最伟大的。 is the greatest in the entire muIti-verse.
现在，我相信你的问题的答案 Now, I believe the answer to your question
有三部分。 has three parts.
首先，教育支出必须大幅提高。 First, education spending must get much higher.
但它必须与国防平衡。 But it has to be balanced with defense...
-哇，哇！-我们能核实一下吗？ -Whoa! Whoa! -Can we fact-check this please?
没关系，我在开玩笑吧？ Never mind. Who am I kidding?
这场比赛结束了。 This race is over.
这就是你如何管理一个堡垒！ And that's how you run a Citadel!
AII Ricks欢呼 [AII Ricks cheering]
候选人莫蒂，流离失所的人的数量正在飙升 Candidate Morty, the number of displaced Mortys is soaring
当瑞克满意程度下降时， whiIe Rick satisfaction levels are plummeting,
这两类人之间的分歧从未如此之大。 and the divide between the two groups has never been wider.
快速解决这个问题。 Solve that one real quick.
瑞克斯欢呼，咯咯笑 [Ricks cheering, chuckling]
我不认为瑞克斯和莫特利之间有分歧。 I don't see a divide between Ricks and Mortys.
哦，震惊。 Oh, shocker.
-放屁-大笑 -[ Farts] -[ Laughter]
我想再给你一份。 I'd like to offer a re-buttaI. [ Farts ]
先生们，先生们，我想我们可以在一件事上达成一致。 Gentlemen, gentlemen, I think we can all agree on one thing.
放屁两次，结果是两件事， [ Farts twice ] Well, it came out as two things,
但是你明白了。 but you get the idea.
-笑声-你们结束了吗？ -[ Laughter] -You guys finished?
笑停 [Laughing stops]
我看到的是瑞克斯和莫特利斯之间的分歧 The division I see is between the Ricks and Mortys
就像城堡一样。 that like the Citadel divided...
我们其他人。 and the rest of us.
无论我走到哪里，都能看到它。 | see it everywhere I go.
在我们的学校里 | see it in our schools
在那里，他们教我们，我们都是一样的， where they teach Mortys we're all the same,
因为他们受到了让我们独一无二的东西的威胁。 because they're threatened by what makes us unique.
在我们的街道上，他们把枪交给了莫特利斯 | see it in our streets where they give guns to Mortys
所以我们太忙了，互相争斗，以对抗不公正。 so we're too busy fighting each other to fight reaI injustice.
在我们的工厂里看到 | see it in our factories
瑞克的工作只占老板的一小部分 where Ricks work for a fraction of their boss' saIary
即使它们是相同的，并且有着相同的智商。 even though they're identical and have the same IQ.
大本营的问题不是无家可归者的死亡 The Citadel's problem isn’t homeless Mortys
或者愤怒的Ricks。 or outraged Ricks.
尖叫 [Screams]
枪声 [Gunshots]
堡垒的问题是瑞克斯和莫特利斯 The Citadel's problem is the Ricks and Mortys
在城堡的死亡中进食。 feeding on the Citadel's death.
-天啊。-警铃 -Holy shit. -[ Alarm sounding]
瑞克保安员：他要去吃味道的核心！ RICK SECURITY OFFICER: He's headed for the flavor core!
但我给他们留了个口信， But I've got a message for them,
从里克斯和马特利斯让它活着， from the Ricks and Mortys keeping it alive,
来自瑞克斯和莫特利斯的信息 a message from the Ricks and Mortys
相信这个CitadeI that believe in this CitadeI
对那些不喜欢的人来说。 to the Ricks and Mortys that don't.
你的人数比你多。 You're outnumbered.
欢呼和掌声 [Cheers and applause]
天哪。 Holy shit.
我不相信。 I don't believe it.
我简直不敢相信。 l-l can't believe it.
我知道，所以你被解雇了。 I know. That's why you're fired.
听起来你在找工作。 Sounds like you're looking for work.
我可以给你一个非常诱人的补偿方案。 I can offer you a very enticing compensation package.
首先，让我们谈谈福利。 First, let's talk benefits.
爸爸爱你，那是爸爸的好女孩。 Daddy loves you. That's Daddy's good girl.
你的生活是一个谎言，伙计。 Your life is a lie, man.
你所有的生命都是我的！你不明白吗？！ All your life's are Iies! Don't you get it?!
他们告诉我们，我们很特别，因为我们是瑞克， They told us we were special because we were Ricks,
但是他们剥夺了我们所有让我们独一无二的东西！ but they stripped us of everything that made us unique!
我们知道你的感受。 We know how you feel.
我们和你一样工作很紧张。 We're working-stiff Ricks just like you.
但是我们的装配线是公正的。 but our assembly line isjusﬁce.
你的要求是什么？ What are your demands?
l-l-l想要一个传送门枪。 l-l-l want a portal gun.
未登记的，不受教育的， Unregistered, untraceabIe,
有足够的液体把我从这个该死的监狱里带走！ with enough fluid to take me off this goddamn prison!
-媒体在外面。-我们，把他们留在那里。 -The media's outside. -We||, keep 'em there.
不管怎么说，是的，嫌疑犯说城堡是个谎言， Anyway, so, yeah, the suspect says the Citadel's a lie,
建立在谎言和一些其他的东西上。 built on lies, and some other shit.
我说感谢你的生活， I say appreciate the life you have,
因为它总是更糟。 because it can always be worse.
回到你的身上，瑞克斯。 Back to you, Ricks.
谢谢你，里克0716-C。 Thank you, Rick 0716-C.
-那个该死的家伙。-告诉我吧。 -That fuckin' guy. -Tell me about it.
与此同时，在选举新闻中， [Clears throat] Meanwhile, in election news,
一场突如其来的事件，从莫蒂党来的莫蒂 an unexpected turn of events as Morty from the Morty Party
在民意调查中名列前茅。 soars to the top of the polls.
-莫蒂！莫蒂！莫蒂！-是的。 -Morty! Morty! Morty! -Yes.
莫蒂，你最初的现实是什么，你的里克在哪里？ Morty, what's your original reality, and where's your Rick?
天啊，我们搬了这么多，很难记起来。 Gosh, we moved around so much, it's hard to remember.
把每一个里克都看作我的里克。 | see every Rick as my Rick.
我希望他们把我看作他们的傻瓜。 I hope they see me as their Morty.
另一个？请用更少的水？ Another? Please? With less water?
嘿，振作点，伙计。 Hey, cheer up, pal.
莫蒂要当总统了。 A Morty's gonna be president.
想象一下，这是一个被指责为所有事情的人。 Imagine this kisser getting blamed for everything.
我想我应该更有信心了。 I guess I shouId've had more faith.
这不是你需要的信念，而是恐惧。 It's not faith you need. lt's fear.
这是什么？ What's this?
这是秘密。 lt's secrets.
你认为它是什么？ Wh-Wh-Wh-What do you think it is?
看看我的穿着。 Look at how I'm dressed.
里克记者：瞄准了这个系统， RICK REPORTER: Having taken aim at the system,
为你的安全担心吗？ are afraid at all for your safety?
候选人莫蒂：我宁愿生活在希望中而不是恐惧。 CANDIDATE MORTY: I'd rather live in hope than fear.
如果我必须害怕任何事情，我害怕别人会害怕。 If I had to fear anything, I'd fear other people being afraid.
恐惧本身。 Of fear. Itself.
但是，不，我不害怕。 But, no, I'm not afraid.
莫蒂镇：嘿，里克，伙计， MORTY TOWN LOCO #1: Hey, Rick, man,
当有一个更有道德的总统时，你会舔我的球还是什么？ when there's a Morty president, you gonna lick my balls or what?
Sheeeet，孙子， Sheeeet, grandson,
你让我把皮埃林的斯克拉普斯和塞进“nib”， you keep me peelin' skrabquams and slippin' nib nibs,
不管什么东西都没钉好。 l'II Iick whatever ain't nailed down.
-笑声-门撞 -[ Laughter] -[ Door crashes]
手在空中！ Hands in the air!
怎么了，伙计？！那黑鬼是什么？ What the hell, man?! What the heIIin' heII?
你们做一些化学作业 You guys doing a little chemistry homework
-和爷爷在一起？-这是我想的吗？ -with Grandpa? -Is this what I think it is?
引导门户的流体。 Bootleg portal fluid.
尖叫 [Screams]
我猜他的数学不太好。 I guess his math was off.
搜索那个地方。 Search the place.
啜泣 [Sobbing]
你是……我的新……r-rick吗？ Are -- Are you... my new...R-Rick?
没事的，莫蒂。 It's okay, Morty.
大声尖叫 -[ Grunts] -[ Screams]
移动游戏 [Mobile playing]
耶稣。 Jesus.
他刺伤了我，他把我弄得很糟糕，莫蒂。 He stabbed me. He got me bad, Morty.
嘘。没事。你没事。 Shh. It's okay. You're okay.
你是对的，咳嗽 You were right. [Coughs]
我在学院学到的一切都是—— Everything I learned at the academy was --
没关系。 Doesn't matter.
把你的信仰放在一个道德上是没有错的。 Nothing's wrong with putting your faith in a Morty.
你只要选对的就行了。 You just gotta pick the right one.
为什么这里有个婴儿床？ Why is there a crib in here?
他们做的事，让你感觉很糟糕。 Something they do. To make you feel bad.
天啊，我在文书工作中得到了很多的帮助，对吧？ Boy, I got us knee-deep in paperwork, huh?
到车里去拿一个医疗包。 Go to the car and grab a medi-pack.
让我担心这个。 Let me worry about this.
-发生了什么？-同样的老故事。 -What happened? -Same old story.
摩利斯基三世的尸体。 Mortys kiIIing Mortys.
我明白了。 AImost...got it.
-你好，农夫里克：嘿！ -[ AII yeIping] -FARMER RICK: Hey!
你们都快离开我那该死的超级水果！ Y'all get the hell away from my damn mega fruit!
-哇，小子！-狂吠 -Sic 'em, boy! -[ Barking ]
我不戴这顶大礼帽 I don't wear this dag-nab hat
并对这一角色进行了承诺 and commit to this ruraI character
所以你可以在你成年的时候免费吃东西！ so you can eat for free while you come of age!
我敢打赌，许愿门会通向一个现实 I bet the Wishing Portal leads to a reality
他们在哪里——在哪里—— where they're -- where all --
那里有一堆法式土司和鲣鸟。 where it's a bunch of French toast with boobies.
我打赌它会带着一堆油炸食物 I bet it leads to a place with a bunch of fry --
fIy——到处都是。 fIy -- fIies everywhere.
是的，我打赌它不会有任何结果。 Yeah, I bet it goes nowhere.
我打赌这是个大洞 I bet it's a big hole
城堡把所有破碎的梦都抛弃了。 where the Citadel dumps all its broken dreams.
你为什么一定要这么戏剧化？ Slick, why do you have to be so dramatic?
你想知道为什么吗？因为这个。 You wanna know why? Because of this.
我是莫特利斯实验系列的一部分 I'm part of an experimental line of Mortys
有了戏剧植入。 with a drama implant.
你觉得它是什么感觉，胖乎乎的， How do you think it feels, Fat Morty,
要知道无论去哪里， to know that no matter where | go,
我永远是那个人 I'll always be the one
这让每个人都感到悲伤和无聊？ that makes everybody sad and a little bored?
光滑，那个植入物不是你自己，好吗？ Slick, that implant isn't who you are, okay?
你也卷起袖子。 You also roll up your sleeves.
我想我是左撇子。 lthought l was Left-Handed Morty.
然后你应该用你的左手吃更多的蔬菜。 Then you should use your left hand to eat more vegetables.
嘿，那里。你好吗？很高兴见到你。 Hey, there. How you doing? Great to meet you.
我是水管工，先生。我是里克，我是水管工。 I'm a plumber, sir. I'm a Rick, and I'm a plumber.
这听起来不像是Rick的工作。 That doesn't sound like Rick work.
你不是来城堡当水管工的，是吗？ You didn't come to the Citadel to be a plumber, did you?
哈！哈！我当然没有，先生！ Ha! ha! I sure didn't, sir!
莫蒂先生！莫蒂先生！ Mr. Morty! Mr. Morty!
我把自己当成了婴儿，这样你就可以吻我了！ l cIoned myself so you could kiss me as a baby!
这就像一个傻孩子！ This is just like a Morty baby!
AII欢呼 [AII cheering]
嘿，你，呃，最后找到一份新工作了吗？ Hey, did you, uh, end up getting a new job?
是的，我做了。暗杀你。 Yeah, I did. Assassinating you.
呻吟 [Groans]
尖叫 [Screams]
我没事。我没事。 I'm okay. I'm okay.
我是。 l'm...
呻吟 [Groans]
哦，天啊，天啊，啊，哈。 Aw, man. Aw, geez. Aw, hah.
你看起来好像可以好好利用一下。 You look like you could use a good time.
一支舞的价格是10美元，2美元是25美元。 One dance for $10, two for $25.
不，谢谢。还有糟糕的数学。 No, thank you. And bad math.
哈！哈！耶！这是一个好时机！ Ha! Ha! Yeah! This is a good time!
-这是什么地方？-令人毛骨悚然的莫蒂。 -What is this place? -The Creepy Morty.
你的同类一直在说什么？ What is it your kind's always saying?
“别想了。” "Don't think about it."
来吧，我想让你认识一个重要的人。 Come on. There's someone important I want you to meet.
啊，布巴拉！ Ah, Bubbala!
怎么和那些有道德的小镇Locos一起去？ How'd it go with the Morty Town Locos?
他们发生了一点小事故。 They had a little accident.
他们不会再惹麻烦了。 They won't be causing any trouble anymore.
这些都是很糟糕的，非常糟糕的死亡。 Those were bad Mortys. Very bad Mortys.
扣指 [Snaps fingers]
大莫蒂喜欢做贡献 Big Morty likes to contribute
在莫蒂镇保持和平。 to keeping the peace in Morty Town.
把他想象成一个“毒品领主”，而我们是他的工资单上的警察。 Think of him as a "drug lord" and us as cops on his payroll.
-莫蒂…-在一起：哪天？ -Morty... -TOGETHER: Which Morty?
我的搭档。 M-M-My partner.
莫蒂，你说得对。莫蒂镇很糟糕。 Morty, you're right. Morty Town is bad.
但这并不意味着我们必须这样做。 But that doesn't mean that we have to be.
嘿，这是怎么了，莫蒂？ Hey, what's going on here, Morty?
-在一起：哪个白痴？-警察，笨蛋！ -TOGETHER: Which Morty? -The cop, morons!
别担心瑞克，大傻瓜。 Don't worry about Rick, Big Morty.
他是新来的。 He's new.
他不明白这是怎么回事。 He doesn't understand how it works.
这就是你说的关于你的最后一个伴侣的事。 That's what you said about your last partner.
你为什么这么说，大傻瓜？ Why would you say something like that, Big Morty?
你在这里为我们俩做了些该死的事情。 You're fucking things up for both of us here.
错了，他在为你们俩做点事。 Wrong. He's fucking things up for both of you.
除非他拿走了钱。 Unless he takes the money.
大摩迪，你被逮捕了。 Big Morty, you're under arrest.
世界上最聪明的人。 S-Smartest man in the universe.
咕哝声 [Grunts]
AII大喊，枪声 [AII shouting, gunfire]
它们只是道具！它们只是道具！ They're just props! Th-They're just props!
-呻吟-现在不那么大了，是吗？ -[ Groans] -Not so big now, are ya?
我从来没有！这是比喻！ I never was! It was figurative!
这就够了。 That's enough.
如果我们不杀他，他就会死。 If we don't kill him, he'll taIk.
如果你这样做了，我会说的。 If you do, I'll talk.
有一件事是肯定的。 O-One thing's for sure.
我们都不用担心牛仔莫蒂泰金。 Y-Y'all don't have to worry about Cowboy Morty taIkin'.
这只小母牛会在这里爬上爬下的。 This little cowpoke's gonna mosey up on out of here.
你告诉我要把我的信仰放在正确的道德上。 You told me to put my faith in the right Morty.
我对你有信心，伙伴。 I've got faith in you, partner.
做正确的事。 Do the right thing.
哦，瑞克爷爷， Oh, Grandpa Rick,
我不想再呆在城堡里了 I-I don't wanna be on the Citadel anymore.
我想成为一个普通的孩子。 I wanna be a regular kid.
l-l想去学校，在周围扔白布 l-l wanna to go to school and throw baIIs around
手淫。 and masturbate.
警报声 [Sirens wailing]
到底发生了什么事？ What the hell happened in there?
同样的老故事。 Same old story.
里克斯的尸体。 Ricks kiIIing Mortys.
好的，伙计，好的，我们有你的传送门枪。 Okay, man, okay, we got your portal gun.
他在做什么？ What the heII's he doing?
-在哪里-在哪里？-一个糟糕的地方。 -[ Groans ] Where -- Where am |? -A bad place.
但你很快就会得到一个更好的。 But you're going to a better one soon.
嘿！嘿！ Hey! Hey!
-不，不，不，不！-哇！ -No,no,no,no! -Whaa--
该死的！ God damn it!
一个通往blender维度的入口？ A portal to the blender dimension?
这是书中最古老的把戏！ That's the oldest trick in the book!
我是瑞克！我比你们任何人都更像瑞克！ I'm a Rick! I'm more Rick than any of you!
那么你就应该知道你刚刚扼杀了你唯一的筹码！ Then you should know you just killed your only leverage!
然后来找我，妈的！ Then comes and get me, motherfuckers!
枪栓 [Guns cock]
嗡嗡声 [Buzzing]
停，我是瑞克d桑切斯，第三个， Stop. l'm Rick D. Sanchez the Third,
这是晶圆厂的所有者， owner of this here wafer establishment,
我说里面的里克是对的。 and I say that the Rick in there is right.
他比你们任何人都多。 He's more Rick than any of you.
他是个恐怖分子！ He's a terrorist!
瑞克不是？！ What Rick isn't?!
堡垒是由里克斯建立的，是为了让瑞克斯自由！ The Citadel was founded by Ricks for Ricks to be free!
你叫什么名字，小伙子？ What's your name, young man?
-瑞克，我-和我年龄相仿，我知道。 -Rick. And I'm -- -The same age as me, I know.
-你在这里工作多久了？-15年。 -How long have you worked here? -15 years.
我们到底变成了什么？ What the hell have we become?
无论你什么时候让他发球，他都发球了。 Whatever time you were gonna make him serve, he's served it.
现在结束了。 It ends now.
-跟我来，朋友。-我们要去哪里？ -Come with me, friend. -Where are we going?
为了你的新生活。 To your new life.
先从这里走出去。 Which starts with walking the fuck out of here.
-哟J-22，给他们！-Burps -Yo J-22, give 'em heII! -[ Burps]
欢呼和掌声 [Cheers and applause]
山姆艾略特：有一个里克把一个工厂作为人质 SAM ELLIOT: There's a Rick that held a factory hostage
在谋杀了他的老板和几个同事之后。 after murdering his boss and several co-workers.
这家工厂做了饼干，用谎言来调味。 The factory made cookies, flavored them with lies.
他让我们都看一看我们在做什么。 He made us all take a look at what we were doing.
在讨价还价中，他尝到了真正自由的滋味。 And in the bargain, he got a taste of real freedom.
射击 [Gunshot]
我们捕捉到了这种味道，我们一直把它给了他 We captured that taste, and we keep giving it to him
所以他可以把它还给你 so he can give it right back to you
每一口新简单的瑞克自由晶片都会选择。 in every bite of new Simple Rick Freedom Wafer Selects.
带着独特的味道回家 Come home to the unique flavor
粉碎了巨大的生命。 of shattering the grand iIIusion.
回到简单的里克。 Come home to Simple Rick.
这是真的。 It is real.
咕哝声 [Grunts]
在你之后。 After you.
规格：在那里。许愿门。 SPECS: There it is. The Wishing Portal.
他们说你想要实现， They say for your wish to come true,
你必须放弃一些真正重要的东西。 you have to give up something really important.
对我来说，那是我的潘尼尼制造者。 For me, that's my panini maker.
希望有一百万个三明治。 | wish for a million sandwiches.
而且，是的，看到了讽刺。 And, yes, | see the irony.
我希望我有更漂亮的东西 lguess | wish I had something cooIer
比这个愚蠢的冲浪项链。 than this dumbass surfer necklace.
希望乱伦色情有一个更主流的吸引力。 | wish incest porn had -- had a more mainstream appeal.
为了——我的一个朋友。 For -- For a friend of mine.
你知道，这些事情都不会发生。 None of those things are gonna happen, you know.
莫蒂的愿望永远不会实现。 Morty wishes never come true.
不是在城堡里。 Not on the Citadel.
那你为什么把我们带到这里来？ Then why did you bring us here?
因为我希望这能改变。 Because I wish that would change.
希望生活中的一切都能改变。 | wish anything about this life would change.
好吧，我希望你在做些什么 Well, I hope you're putting something
很重要的一点。 pretty goddamn important in there.
我也是。 Me too.
但我对此表示怀疑。 But I doubt it.
-不！-西尼克！ -No! -SIick!
也许。 M-Maybe...
也许它去了一个不错的地方。 Maybe it went somewhere nice.
自动RICK：垃圾转储。 AUTOMATED RICK: Garbage dump.
站着打嗝。 Stand [burp] back.
他必须被制止。 He had to be stopped.
他——他——他——他——不能被允许获胜。 He -- He cou-- He c-- couldn't be allowed to win.
兄弟，你应该为你的目标而努力。 Then you shouId've [burps] worked on your aim, bro.
他是埃维？不，不，不，你得听我说。 He's aIive? No, no, no. You gotta listen to me.
我为他工作，我是他的竞选经理。 I-I worked for him. I was his campaign manager.
他似乎不是那样的人。 That Morty is not what he seems.
是啊，不，莫蒂看起来像个总统。 Yeah, well, no Morty seems like a president.
-他赢了？-是的。 -He...won? -Yeah.
这是一次井喷。 It was a blowout.
我很难称之为井喷。 I would hardly call it a blowout.
这几乎足以引发重新计票。 It was almost close enough to trigger a recount.
耶稣，你现在是什么，开玩笑的安全吗？ Jesus. What are you, joke security now, too?
里克：为什么我还在这里？ RICK COP: Why am I still here?
我听说他承认了一切。 I heard he confessed to everything.
你的案子已经被审查了，你可以自由了。 Your case has been reviewed. You're free to go.
但是……违反了至少十几个部门的规定。 But...| violated at least a dozen departmental codes.
新部门。新代码。 New department. New codes.
新城堡。 New Citadel.
规格：我们错过了毕业典礼吗？新的瑞克斯在哪里？ SPECS: Did we miss graduation? Where are the new Ricks?
没有毕业，没有新东西。 No graduation. No new Ricks.
学校的课程正在改变。 The school's curriculum is changing.
什么？ To what?
我不知道，我也不需要知道。 I don't know, and I don't have to know.
我被解雇了。 I've been fired.
祝你好运，turds。 [ Burping ] Good luck, turds.
天哪，希克的愿望实现了。 Holy crap. SIick's wish came true.
对不起，我迟到了，总统先生。 Sorry I'm late, Mr. President.
-在工作上有点小危机。-值得！ -Had a little crisis at work. -Worth it!
这不是问题。 It's no problem.
呃，再多一点。 Uh, a little more off the top.
你说的是，服装区瑞克。 You were saying, Garment District Rick.
我们在说，“总统”莫蒂， We were saying, "President" Morty,
我们不关心谁坐在那个座位上。 that we don't care who sits in that seat.
一个里克，一个傻瓜，一个该死的杰里，都不重要。 A Rick, a Morty, a goddamn Jerry, doesn't matter.
我们从理事会开始就一直在管理这个堡垒， We've been running the Citadel since before the council,
你会发现我们现在还在运行它。 and you'll find that we're still running it now.
他真的为这里的每个人说话吗？ Does he really speak for everyone here?
-嗯。-是的。 -M m-hmm. -Yeah.
嗯，我认为很重要的一点是要弄清楚。 Well, I think it's important to be clear.
如果他为你说话，请举手。 Raise your hand if he speaks for you.
艾伊尖叫 [AII screaming]
这就够了吗？ ls...that enough off the top?
我不知道，是吗？ I don't know. Is it?
-是的，是的，该死，是的。-我认为这很好。 -Yes, yes, goddamn, yes. -I think it's great.
很好。 Good.
这似乎是喝酒的好时机 This seems like a good time for a drink
还有一场冰冷的、带有不祥意味的演讲。 and a cold caIcuIated speech with sinister overtones.
关于政治的演讲。 A speech about politics...
关于秩序…… about order...
兄弟情谊… brotherhood...
权力。 power.
但是演讲是为了竞选。 Butspeeches are for campaigning.
现在是采取行动的时候了。 Now is the time for action.
红头发的红头发的“为受伤的” [ Blond Redhead's "For the Damaged" plays]
啊，啊，啊，啊，啊 J‘ Ah-ah, ah, ah, ah J‘
啊，啊，啊啊 J‘ Ah, ah-ah J‘
啊，啊，啊，啊，啊 J‘ Ah-ah, ah, ah, ah J‘
啊，啊，啊啊 J‘ Ah, ah-ah J‘
啊，啊，啊，啊，啊 J‘ Ah-ah, ah, ah, ah J‘
啊，啊，啊啊 J‘ Ah, ah-ah J‘
啊，啊，啊，啊，啊 J‘ Ah-ah, ah, ah, ah J‘
啊，啊，啊啊 J‘ Ah, ah-ah J‘
哇！笑对了！ Whoo! [Laughs ] Yeah!
-亚特兰蒂斯，宝贝！-太神奇了。 -Atlantis, baby! -That was amazing.
你得到了一些美人鱼的猫。 You got some of that mermaid puss.
我真的希望这不是一次性的事情 I'm really hoping it wasn't a one-off thing
我又能见到她了。 and I can see her again.
顺便说一下，嘿，嗯，还是不好奇 By the way, hey, um, still not curious about
在那个疯狂的CitadeI的地方会发生什么？ what might've happened at that crazy CitadeI place?
噗，一点也不，莫蒂。那个地方永远不会有 Psh. Not at all, Morty. That place will never have
任何对我们生活的影响。 any bearing over our lives ever again.
不像美人鱼，是的！ Unlike that mermaid puss! Yeah!
我们要回去几秒钟！ We're going back for seconds!
我们每个星期都要做这种事，伙计！ We're gonna do that shit every week, man!
-那是亚特兰蒂斯！-哦，狗屎！ -That was Atlantis! -Oh, shit!