This is one of my favorite anti-capitalist works.
这是我最喜欢的反资本主义作品之一
Wow.
哇哦
How do you not have any ID?
你怎么会没有身份证件
Hey, man. I lost it. Shit happens.
嘿 兄弟 我弄丢了 难免会有糟心事
How do you fly? What do you--
那你是怎么坐飞机的 你是怎么-
I don't go nowhere.
我哪儿也不去
Wow. These mushrooms are fucking me up.
哇哦 吃了这些蘑菇真的把我搞晕了
Word.
确实
Am I tripping, or is this flower moving?
是我嗑大了 还是这个花在动
That's a pussy.
这是个浦西
For real?
真的吗
Yeah.
对啊
You just gotta look real close, like a Magic Eye.
你得靠近了看 就像那些视觉错觉图一样
Magic Eye 即视觉错觉图
Get your nose in there. You see it?
把头靠过去 你看到了没
I think you see it.
我觉得你看见了
Oh, shit.
哦 干
Oh, shit.
哦 干
What's wrong?
怎么了
Nothing. I just, um, saw something.
没事 我就是 呃 看见点什么
Oh, that's your ex, Grace.
哦 那是你的前任 Grace
Damn, she bad as shit.
可恶
Y'all still talk?
你俩还联系吗
I mean, we text.
我们还发短信啊
Well, I text.
好吧 是我给她发
She doesn't text back, but I think we're still together.
她不回我的短信 但是我觉得我们应该还在一起
Yo, who is she with?
哟 她跟谁在一块呢
I don't know. One of her bougie-ass art friends.
我不知道 她的哪个小资朋友吧
God, please don't let him come over here.
主啊 请让他不要过来这边找我
You should go over there.
你应该去那边找她
- You think so? - Yes.
-你这么想吗 -是啊
You know she still love you.
她肯定还爱着你
Why would she still have the same number?
要不然她为什么不换手机号呢
That's a good point.
很有道理
She's probably waiting for me to come over there.
她可能就等着我过去呢
Mm-hmm. It's the universe. This is supposed to happen.
嗯哼 这就是上天注定的
- I'll go talk to her. - Do your thing.
-我过去跟她聊聊 -做你该做的
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yo. Yo, put me on her friend.
对对对对 哟 给她朋友引荐一下我
Oh, I got you. I got you.
包在我身上
And tell her-tell her I got a nice apartment with a bidet and a doorman.
告诉她 我的公寓特别高端 有坐浴盆还有门卫什么的
All right.
行吧
- You can just feel the weight of the middle-class. - Mm-hmm.
-真是能直接感觉到中产阶级之重似的 -嗯哼
Well, well, well.
瞧瞧
Fuck.
干
You don't call; you don't write.
你不给我打电话 也不给我写信
Michael, this is Candice.
Michael 这是Candice
Oh, that Michael?
哦 就是那个Michael吗
What's up, Candy girl?
怎么样啊 Candy姑娘
It's just Candice. Thank you.
叫Candice就行 谢谢你
You're welcome.
不用谢
Maybe I should give you two a moment.
或许我该给你们俩一点私人时间
The fuck's her problem?
她怎么了
What are you doing here, Michael?
你在这干什么 Michael
I don't know. Just wanted to take in some culture.
我不知道 就是想来这吸收一点文化气息
Weird.
怪了
Whenever I asked you to take me places like this, you always made fun of me.
以前每次想让你带我来这种地方的时候 你总是取笑我
Well, that's because I knew it would suck.
因为我知道那儿会很烂
But Reggie is into Hentai now, so I figured I'd inspire him.
但是Reggie现在这么爱看动画**片 我觉得我要启发他一下
So you came here with Reggie?
所以 你是跟Reggie一块来的
Yeah. Well, we'll catch up some other time.
好 我们改天再叙旧吧
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, where you goin'?
哇哇哇哇哇 你要去哪
Somewhere else.
别的地方
But can we talk? We don't talk anymore.
我们能聊聊吗 我们都不联系了
You don't answer any of my texts.
我发的短信你一条都不回
Now is not a good time.
现在不太合适
All right. Well, let's do it some other time.
好吧 那 我们另约个时间再聊
Let's get dinner or something. Let's get some drinks.
我们一起吃个晚饭之类的 一起喝点什么
That's not a good idea either.
这也不是什么好主意
- What? You seeing somebody? - Actually, yes.
-什么 你在跟什么人约会吗 -其实 正是如此
Who? He bigger than me?
谁啊 他比我还壮吗
No, I'm just playing.
我开玩笑的
Is he, though?
不过 是不是啊
Michael, I have to go.
Michael 我得走了
Come on. Come on. Come on. Just tell me who you're datin'.
说嘛 说嘛 说嘛 告诉我你在跟什么人约会
I have to go, Michael.
我得走了 Michael
Baby, you ready?
宝贝 你好了没有
Yeah. I think so.
嗯 应该吧
Get the fuck outta here.
不是吧
This is my girlfriend, Candice.
这是我的女朋友 Candice
Are you serious?
你认真的吗
This is marvelous. Marvelous. Bravo. Bravo. Hey, Grace.
这真是太棒了 太棒了 好哇 好哇 嘿 Grace
What's up, Reggie?
你好啊 Reggie
Hey, they charging $80,000 for those pussy paintings over there.
他们要花八万块买那边那张浦西画
Oh, my God.
天呐
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, let me hear you say ♪
♪ Your folks, my folks ♪
♪ My folks, your folks ♪
♪ Yeah, yeah ♪ ♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
♪ Yeah! ♪
♪ Ha! ♪
Michael, now, why you turn that poor girl gay?
Michael 你为什么把那个可怜的姑娘掰弯了
I didn't turn her gay, Ma. She was always gay, I think.
我没有把她掰弯 她一直就是弯的 大概
Oh, my God. I just remember,
天呐 我突然想起来
she was over to the house that time
有一次她来家里的时候
and my bras were soaking in the sink.
我的文胸就在水池里泡着呢
So. What does that mean?
所以呢 你想说什么
I'm just sayin', you know, we have to be more careful when we have people over.
我就是说 我们待人接物要更谨慎一点
She did look really happy.
她确实看起来很幸福
Hey, Ma, you think I'll ever be happy?
妈 你觉得我终有一日会幸福吗
Oh, honey.
噢 亲爱的
Yeah. You're gonna find the right girl that could deal with you.
当然了 你会找到你的真命天女的 找到一个能受得了你的人
Deal with me?
受得了我的人？
You know what? I got Grubhub on the other line and
你知道吗 外卖给我打电话了
GrubHub 美国知名外卖平台
um, I'm gonna have to call you back, okay?
我一会儿给你回电话 好吗
No, wait. What do you mean deal with me like, I'm difficult?
等一下 你说受得了我是什么意思 是说我很难搞吗
You know what? Tell Grace that I'm praying for her
你知道吗 告诉Grace 我会为她祈祷的
and that she's gonna get better. Okay, honey?
她会好起来的 好吗 亲爱的
She's not dying, Ma.
她又不是要死了 妈
She's just gay.
她只是喜欢女人而已
I love you too.
我也爱你
Ma.
妈
Yeah. Oh, um, yeah, representative.
好 呃 好 代表
Representative.
代表
Representato.
戴表
Siri, how you say "representative" in Spanish?
Siri “代表”用西语怎么说
For a long time I thought, you know you don't need people to have sex.
在很长一段时间里 我都认为 你不需要其他人来**
And I was right for a little while.
我是对的 但是好景不长
Now I miss it.
我真怀念那会儿
I miss all of the sex I complained about.
我怀念我所抱怨过的所有那些**
You ever get a bad blow job from a nice lady.
你有没有被一个人很好但是活很烂的女人口过
Oh, that's some hard shit to fucking tell.
哦 这可是值得一讲的糟心事
You gotta give her the tap, like, uh...
你得拍拍她 就像...
I really appreciate the effort, but, um...
我很感激你的努力 但是...
I think I'm gonna finish watching "Seinfeld."
我觉得我还是去把《宋飞正传》看完吧
Welcome, Yamaneika. I'm Dr. Dig Guts.
欢迎 Yamaneika 我是大器医生
Are you ready to have the time of your life?
你准备好度过你一生中最美妙的时光了吗
Absolutely. My friend came here last week
当然 我朋友上周来过了
and she said you guys worked her body over.
她说你们把她伺候得很好
We pride ourselves on our full-service.
我们以我们的全套服务为豪
Oh, well, I need it. My back is a mess
好吧 我挺需要的 我的背疼死了
and my husband is getting on my damn nerves.
我老公还总是惹我生气
Well, this is the closest you can get to cheating on your man.
好的 这将是您能获得的最接近出轨的体验
Oh, I like that.
哦 我喜欢
When you responded to our Instagram post
您回复我们的Instagram帖子时
you said you'd be willing to work with one of our trainees.
说愿意让我们的学员来服务
They are fantastic.
他们棒极了
I just wanna make sure that's still all right.
我只是想确认一下 您没有改变主意对吧
Yeah. No, I know they trainees and all that
是 我知道学员什么的
but I still want somebody that look good, you know 'cause...
不过我还是想要一位长得好看的 你知道...
This is Artemis Sincere.
这是Artemis Sincere
This is one of your trainees?
这也是你的学员吗
Yes. He's just finished a session and shouldn't be in here.
是的 他刚完成一个课程 不应该进来这里的
Yeah. I'm sorry, boss.
是啊 对不起 老板
I don't know where the cleaning supplies are.
我不知道干净的设备放哪了
Cleaning materials are in the closet.
在柜子里放着呢
Thanks, boss.
谢了 老板
Now, you are aware that this is an erotic spa.
现在 你知道这是个涩涩按摩吧
There may be some mounting today.
所以今天会有一些涩涩的事
Oh, I can handle the mounting.
哦 我能应付涩涩
Oh, I love to hear that.
正是我爱听的
Oh, I can't stand this...
真受不了
- Your masseuse will be here shortly. He- - Yeah.
-您的按摩师马上就会来了 他... -好的
Cops gonna cut me off and then give me a ticket.
警察把我拦下来 给我开了一张罚单
Where am I supposed to get $143 from?
我要去哪搞这143块啊
A'ight. I'll call you back.
好了 我一会给你回电话
Hold on. Hold on.
等一下 等一下
Hey, Dr. Guts.
嘿 器医生
I'm sorry I'm late, you know.
不好意思我迟到了 你知道的
I had to get lunch. My bad.
我得去吃午饭 是我的不好
What is on your shirt?
你衣服上是什么
I had a hot dog.
我刚刚吃了个热狗
Wait, who is this?
等一下 这是谁
Oh, he will-- he'll be your masseuse for today.
哦 他就是您今天的按摩师
No, no, no, no, no, no, look at him.
不不不不不不 看看他
Absolutely not.
绝对不行
Where's the cute guy?
那个帅小伙去哪了
Trust me.
相信我
Regular Reggie has some of the best hands in the business.
普通Reggie是我们这手最巧的几个人之一了
I will try to stay out of everything so I don't stop Reggie's flow.
我尽量不掺和你们俩的事 这样就不会打扰到Reggie的流程
I got you.
有我呢
All right. Fine. I guess it's free.
好吧 好吧 反正不要钱
Let's go.
开始吧
Let's get this robe off and turn off these lights.
让我们把浴袍脱掉 把灯关上
Yamaneika.
Yamaneika
What, you from Harlem?
怎么 你是从哈莱姆来的
Reggie.
Reggie
Use the voice.
用营业声线
Grand rising, you from Harlem?
上午好 你是哈莱姆那边人吗
Are you gonna mount me?
你要上来吗
Now, you know I can't get up on this table.
你知道的 我不能上这个桌子
It's already at its limit.
它已经快撑不住了
Reggie.
Reggie
Remember what we talked about last week?
还记得我们上周谈过的吗
Yes, instructor, no being honest with fat bitches.
记得 教练 不要跟肥婊子们说实话
- Who you calling a fat bitch? - Shh.
-你说我是肥婊子 -嘘
I'm a fat nigga that loves fat bitches.
我是个肥哥们 就爱肥婊子
Reggie.
Reggie
Sometimes.
有时候吧
Flip her over.
给她翻身
And don't forget the shoulders.
别忘了肩膀
Oh, here we go.
哦 我们开始吧
- Oh, shit. - I know. I know.
-哦 干 -我知道 我知道
That oil is so cold.
这个油好冰
Oh, yeah, there we go.
哦 是的 我们开始了
I know. I know.
我知道 我知道
There we go.
来吧
Stick it.
戳戳
What are you, typing?
你在干嘛 打字吗
I'm typing a sexy-ass book on your back.
我正在你背上打一本超级性感的书
This book about to make me bust on your back.
我要打你的背了
Nope. That's enough. Mm-mm. I'm out.
不 到此为止吧 我不干了
I'm tired of this. Free or no free, I'm out.
我受够了 不管要不要钱 我不干了
Get off me.
快走开
Let Regular Reggie take care of you.
让普通Reggie好好照料你
Why can't we do that, huh?
我们为什么不能来那个呢
He literally has his tongue licking her back.
他直接在用舌头舔她的背啊
- Don't worry. I'll stick my finger in your butt at the end. - What?
-别担心 我最后会用手指头插你的 -什么
Yeah. I got you.
对啊 我明白的
I need to--oh.
我得 哦
I got a parking ticket I need to pay, okay?
我有一张违规停车罚单要交 好吗
I was told this is free.
我听说这个不要钱啊
But you're gonna tip me, right?
但是你会给我小费的 对吧
Reggie.
Reggie
All right, fine.
好吧 好吧
But if you don't start doing something to turn me on I'm out.
但是如果你不赶紧开始做点涩涩的事情的话我就走人了
I know. I know.
我明白 我明白
Get back up here.
快躺回来吧
Let me do my work.
让我做我的分内事
I know exactly what to do.
我知道该干什么
Fuck!
干
Are you okay?
你还好吗
Huh? I think...
哈 我觉得
I think...
我觉得
He fixed my back.
他治好了我的背
Reggie.
Reggie
You just released ten years of pain from my body.
你把我这十几年来的痛苦都给解决了
Thank you.
谢谢你
You still want me to pop my thumb in your butt?
你还想让我**你吗
Cheating is not good.
出轨很不好
I've--I've-I've cheated before and I've been cheated on.
我之前出轨过 我也被背叛过
And I'd much rather do the cheating.
我还是更愿意做出轨的那个
Now, I know you guys are all wondering why I called you here.
现在 我知道你们都在想我把你们都叫过来是要干什么
It's because I think I need an intervention.
是因为我觉得我需要一次劝诫大会
Finally. I been told you that.
总算是 我一直都跟你说
Not for drinking, Kara.
不是劝我戒酒的 Kara
I need an intervention for dating.
我需要一个关于约会的劝诫大会
What?
什么
Well, I've dated all of you in the past couple years, and--
我在过去这几年里跟你们都约会过 然后
What?
什么
And I'm realizing you didn't all know that, which means I'm pretty good at what I do.
然后我意识到并非你们所有人都知情 说明我做得还挺不错的
But the point is, it always ended bad, right?
但是重点是 我们的关系都没有得到好结局
And I just wanna know what's wrong with me.
我就是想知道我身上有什么问题
You drink too much.
你喝得太多了
I meant as far as dating, Kara. I think you know that.
我是说约会方面的 Kara 我觉得你明白的
Wait, why am I here?
等等 我在这里干什么
- We never dated. - Yes, we did.
-我们没有约会过 -我们有
- No, we didn't. - Oh, yeah, we did.
-不 我们没有 -没错 我们约会过
We went out for drinks one time then you tried to get me to go to your apartment.
我们一起喝过酒 就那么一次 然后你想把我带回你的公寓
I told you I don't do that, and I never heard from you again.
我跟你说我不搞那套 然后你就再也没有联系过我了
Right. You've been ghosted.
对 我在玩消失
Hold--hold up. Is this the real reason why you called me over here?
等 等下 这就是你把我叫过来的真正原因
You text you might have cancer.
你发短信说你可能得癌了
- Yeah, me too. - What's up?
-是啊 我也是 -怎么回事
Well, I've said I might have cancer
好吧 我是说我可能得了癌症
because I knew you guys wouldn't show up unless it was something serious.
那是因为我知道除非出了什么很严重的事你们是不会来的
What? Michael.
什么 Michael
So you don't really have cancer?
所以你不是真的得了癌症
I might.
我有可能啊
I mean, we all might, right?
我是说 我们都有可能 对吧
- Oh, my God. - This isn't funny. - Really?
-天呐 -这不好笑 -真的吗
I brought my nursing bag for nothing.
我白把我的护理包带过来了
You're sick.
你有病吧
Michael, is this locked from the outside?
Michael 这个门是从外面锁住了吗
Well, yeah, because I thought you guys would try to leave
是啊 因为我觉得一旦你们发现我不是真的得了癌
once you found out I didn't have cancer.
你们应该就想着要走了
Something is seriously wrong with you.
你真的有点大毛病
I know. That's my point.
我知道 这就是我的重点
I-I need your help.
我需要你们的帮助
Look, guys, I'm tired of being the bad part in every relationship, okay?
听着 大家 我不想再当每一段感情关系里差劲的那一个了
I just want one that works.
我想要一段像样的感情
Help me. Fix me.
帮帮我 治好我
You think it's our job to help you?
你觉得我们有义务帮你吗
I'm out of options.
我也没办法了
Please, I'm begging you.
拜托 我求求你们了
Tell me what's wrong with me.
告诉我 我有什么问题
Kara, are you gonna tell me I drink too much?
Kara 你是要说我喝得太多了吗
What is it?
是什么
You getting fat.
你变肥了
Yeah, that's right.
对 她说得对
Scale don't lie.
称不会说谎
Who do you think cheats more, men or women?
你觉得男人和女人哪个出轨更多
I think everybody cheats.
我认为每个人都会出轨
Like, everybody poops.
就跟每个人都会拉屎一样
It feels good.
感觉很爽
It's different when women cheat.
女人出轨的时候是不一样的
I don't think women should cheat.
我觉得女人不该出轨
But I think men...
但是男人
It's 'cause it hurts our feelings.
因为会伤害我们的感情
You know before we met he'd never seen "Lion King" on Broadway.
你知道吗 我们认识之前 他都没看过《狮子王》音乐剧
You're kidding.
你开玩笑的吧
That is true but we love that show.
是真的 我们爱那部戏
But we love Africa.
我们爱非洲
We really do.
真的
And what I love about "The Lion King" so much on Broadway is its authenticity.
我这么爱《狮子王》音乐剧就是因为它很真实
The costumes are authentic.
戏里的服装是那么真实
The soil is authentic.
那些土那么真实
The wood is authentic.
树也很真实
Have you ever heard of kente cloth?
你们听说过肯特布吗
肯特布 由交织的布条制成的一种手工编织的非洲丝绸织物 色彩鲜艳 图案丰富
Yeah, I've heard of it.
我有听说过
What I like about it is each pattern tells a story.
我很喜欢它的每一种图样都诉说着一个故事
And the costumes that we saw in Africa were just unbelievable.
我们在非洲看到的当地服装简直不可置信
The people there call them clothes.
当地人就管那叫衣服
Hey! When we gonna fuck?
嘿 我们什么时候开干
Excuse me?
你说什么
This is--this is a sex party, right?
这是个银趴 对吧
Well...
好吧
Okay. It's my first--I'm just, you know this is a swinger soiree.
好吧 这是我第一次 我只是 这是个换妻宴会
When do you all start fucking?
那你们什么时候开干
Unbelievable, pal.
难以相信 伙计
Look, I don't know who invited you but that's not really how things work.
听着 我不知道是谁邀请你过来的 但是事情并非如此
Well, I don't really feel like shit working around here the way it's supposed to work.
好吧 我觉得事情的走向好像不太对劲
No--and no, Mitch you shut up, because you're the one
不 Mitch你闭嘴 你才是
that told me if the Giants won I could fuck your wife.
那个跟我说如果纽约巨人赢了我就能干你老婆的人
- You said he could what? - No. No.
-你跟他说什么 -不 不
He said if the Giants won the game "I'm gonna fuck your wife."
他说如果纽约巨人队赢了 “我就要干你老婆”
And I was, like, "Yeah, sure."
我就表示“是啊 当然了”
And it was clearly a joke.
很显然是个笑话
Well, I think somebody made a mistake.
好吧 我觉得有些人搞错了
Well, I think somebody's gonna get this dick.
好吧 我觉得有些人要被干了
Come on, man. You gotta calm down.
好了 兄弟 你得冷静一点
Everybody is tense. Can you feel that?
所有人都怎么紧张 你感觉到了没
And you've been here an hour; you haven't even taken off your jacket.
你都来了一个小时了 连外套都还没脱呢
Yeah, 'cause I'm naked under here.
是啊 因为我里面什么都没穿
You ever seen a butcher shop?
你见过肉铺没有
It's just meat hangin' everywhere.
到处挂的都是肉啊
meat也指男性生殖器
Maybe you should just leave.
也许你该离开了
- That's what you all want? - Yeah.
-你们都这么想的吗 -对啊
I can't believe I spent all this time and money.
真不敢相信我都浪费了这么多时间和钱
Is that a camcorder?
那是个摄录机吗
Yes. I spent $1,500 in Best Buy coupons on this.
是啊 我花了一千五百块在百思买用优惠券买的
How--how do you two know each other?
你们俩是怎么认识的
We work together.
我们在一起工作
No. He--he delivers bagels to my office in the mornings.
不 他 他早晨给我们办公室送百吉饼外卖
And coffee. Don't play with me, Mitch.
还有咖啡 不要跟我开玩笑 Mitch
- Is that a microphone? - It is.
-那是个麦克风吗 -是啊
Did anyone give consent for this?
有人同意这事了吗
- No. - No.
-没有 -没有
You try to do something nice for people.
你想为大家做点好事
You know, we could have put this on YouTube, Pornhub.
你知道 我们可以把这个放上YouTube Pornhub
We could have made some money together.
我们原本可以一起赚点钱的
Buster, you're sick.
Buster 你真是令人作呕
You thought we were gonna fuck in the dining room?
你觉得我们会在餐厅里就这么开干吗
- Or the living room. - Disgusting.
-或者在客厅 -恶心
It don't matter now, though.
不过现在都无所谓了
Because y'all been in here acting scared.
因为你们现在都表现得很害怕的样子
This some bull.
你胡说八道
Hey, y'all, let's fuck.
嘿 大伙 我们开干吧
Now that's what I'm talking about.
这样才像话嘛
Somebody's finally making some sense.
终于有人像那么回事了
Who said that?
谁说的
Nobody said that.
没人那么说
I knew it.
我就知道
Is that a Talkboy?
这是个Talkboy吗
Talkboy是一款可以录制和播放声音的便携式录音机 由电影《小鬼当家》（Home Alone）中的道具而得名
What is this, "Home Alone 2"?
这是干什么 演《小鬼当家2》吗
You just gotta go, please?
你得走了 好吗
Yeah. What did you think was gonna happen
是啊 你以为会发生什么
you were gonna waltz in here and just fuck his wife?
你要大摇大摆地走进来 干别人的老婆吗
Nah, I was gonna come in introduce myself, eat, and then fuck his wife to be honest.
不 我其实是想进来介绍一下自己 吃点东西 然后干他老婆
I'm sorry, everyone.
对不起 大家
He--he was cool at the office. I-I-I thought we had a vibe.
他在我们办公室还挺正常的 我还以为我们合得来的
I didn't know he'd be so weird.
我不知道他会表现得这么奇怪
I'm weird?
我很怪吗
Who the fuck talks about Simba and the circle of life before they pull their dick out?
谁他妈的会在掏出老二之前大聊辛巴和生命的轮回啊
Scram, pal.
滚吧 兄弟
A'ight. Bet. Say less.
好吧 不必再说了
Don't worry about it.
不用担心这个
You ain't never gotta worry about seeing me again.
你们不用担心会再见到我了
That's my hat.
那是我的帽子
Well, it's my hat now.
好吧 现在归我了
If I have an exception and she answers when I text her
如果她破例回了我的短信
I don't--I don't got that much respect.
我就不会那么尊重她了
But if you make me work for it
但是如果是我费劲巴拉挣来的
somethin' about that is charming.
这就很吸引人了
Is that a--I guess that's, like, a toxic behavior.
我觉得这是一种很不健康的做法
Am I alone in that?
只有我一个人这么想吗
你的前任会回你的短信吗
Sometimes--yeah, I've got to--look
有时吧 有时候她们 听着
like I said, sometimes they do, sometimes they don't.
就像我说过的 她们有时会 有时不会
And when they don't...
她们不回的时候
I know she's the one.
我就知道她是我的真命天女了
So you're still upset?
你还在生气吗
I was never upset.
我没生气
I just don't understand why you wouldn't mention that your ex was Michael Che.
我就是不明白你为什么不提你的前任是Michael Che
Why would that matter?
这很重要吗
Well, he's a famous comedian.
首先 他是个知名的喜剧演员
Barely.
勉强算是吧
That's not the point, Grace.
这不是重点 Grace
Okay. I'm sorry I didn't go into details with you about my ex.
好吧 很抱歉我没有跟你详细介绍我的前任
I'm just so over it.
我只是把这一切都抛之脑后了
And I don't enjoy talking about him.
而且我不喜欢聊他的事
Plus, I didn't know how you were gonna take it.
而且我不知道你会怎么想
Okay. I get that.
好吧 我明白
Dang, this train is talking forever.
可恶 这车来得也太慢了
Yeah. I guess you're used to taking limousines everywhere.
你以前去哪都是坐豪华轿车吧
Babe, stop.
宝贝 别说了
But seriously
不过真的
I want you to know that you can tell me anything
我想让你知道 你什么都能跟我说
regardless of how you think I'll take it.
不论你认为我会怎么看
I like knowing more about you.
我喜欢了解你多一点
Baby, that means so much to me. Thank you.
宝贝 你这句话于我来说意义重大 谢谢你
I guess I'm just not used to that.
我觉得我只是还不习惯这样
Can you believe they paid that much money for that painting? God.
你能相信他们花了那么多钱买这幅画吗
Yes, it was a pussy.
是啊 那画的是个浦西
You right, a pussy is always worth it.
你说得对 浦西永远值得
Always.
永远
I want kids, but I don't wanna--
我想要小孩 我只是不想
I don't wanna have them.
不想经历这个过程
You know, just hanging out with a pregnant lady for fuckin' six months; that shit sounds awful.
六个月都跟一个怀孕的女人待在一起 这听起来糟透了
It's--what? It's not fun.
这 什么 这完全不有趣
Okay. Has anyone brought their pregnant friend here tonight?
好吧 今晚有人是带着孕妇朋友来的吗
Thank you. They're not fun.
谢谢你们 她们可没意思了
Okay.
好吧
This girl is on fire.
难受死我了
Ah! Nurse!
啊 护士
Nurse! Hey, I need a doctor!
护士 嘿 我需要医生
I-I think I'm in labor.
我觉得我要生了
Ma'am, please calm down. You'll have to wait your turn.
女士 请冷静一下 你得等到轮到你的时候
But I'm having an emergency.
但我情况很紧急
Ma'am, please calm down and wait your turn.
女士 请冷静一下 等到轮到你的时候
I'm with a patient.
我这有一个病人了
What?
什么
So you said it hurts when you flex your finger?
你说你弯手指的时候很疼
Yes. It hurts when I go like this.
是的 我这样的时候会很疼
Oh, well, nothing a little Vicodin couldn't help.
哦 好吧 没有什么是来点维柯丁解决不了的
Are you serious?
你认真的吗
I'm in active labor.
我都在分娩途中了
There's no such thing as active labor.
根本没有这回事
You're either in labor or you're not in labor.
你要么在分娩 要么不在分娩
Well, I'm in fuckin' labor.
好吧 我他妈正在分娩
I need a doctor right now.
我现在就需要一个医生
What on earth is all this racket?
这儿这么吵是干什么呢
I am so sorry, Doctor.
不好意思 医生
Doctor, I'm havin' a baby, and I'm in a lot of pain.
医生 我要生小孩了 现在非常痛
Okay, ma'am, first of all I'm gonna need you to calm down.
好的 女士 首先 我需要你冷静一下
What the fuck?
什么鬼
Whoa! That's not calm.
哇 这可称不上冷静
That's the opposite of calm.
这是冷静的反义词了
All right. Okay. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for yelling.
好吧 好吧 对不起 对不起我吼你了
I just--I would really, really like some help right now.
我只是 我只是现在非常非常需要帮助
Thank you.
谢谢你
Now we're getting somewhere.
现在我们有所进展了
Now, tell us where you've been shot.
现在告诉我你哪里中枪了
I'm not shot!
我没有中枪
I'm having a fucking baby!
我他妈要生了
Yeah, I can't take this.
好吧 我放弃了
Is there a baby daddy I can talk to?
我能跟孩子爸爸聊聊吗
- A what? - Your baby daddy.
-谁 -你孩子的爸爸
- You know who he is? - My husband.
-你知道是谁吗 -我的丈夫
You're yelling.
你又在喊了
Can I at least just get something for the pain?
能不能至少给我点止痛的东西
So that's what this is about.
原来是这么回事
We're not just gonna give you drugs.
我们才不会就这么给你药呢
I need a doctor right now.
我要看医生
What's going on?
怎么了
My purse is missing.
我的包丢了
Oh, my God!
天呐
Why?
怎么会
Where did you last see it?
你最后一次看到它是在哪里
I don't know.
我不知道
Uh, I think I left it right here.
我觉得我把它落在哪里了
Uh, am I invisible right now?
你们是看不到我吗
Shut up!
闭嘴
No, no. She's right.
不 不 她说得对
Ma'am, did you take this lady's purse?
女士 是你拿了这位女士的包吗
Now you're accusing me of stealing?
你现在是在指责我偷东西吗
Calm down. I didn't say you took it.
冷静点 我不是说就是你拿了
I asked if you took it.
我问的是你有没有拿
I think it's underneath her seat.
我觉得在她的座位下面
I didn't take her fucking purse!
我没有拿她那该死的包
Good. Then you wouldn't mind if we check your purse.
好吧 那你不会介意我们检查一下你的包吧
Why would I put your purse in my purse?
我为什么要把你的包放在我包里
That's what we'd like to know.
我们也想知道为什么
Just so you know, we have cameras everywhere.
告诉你一声 我们这到处都有摄像头
I told you! I didn't take her fucking purse!
我跟你说了 我没有拿她那该死的包
Then what's that's under your shirt?
那你衣服下面是什么
Fuck you!
干你
So anybody else?
还有人想说吗
I'm hungry.
我饿了
The wings will be here any minute.
鸡翅马上就来了
You said that an hour ago.
你一个小时以前就这么说的
Kim, why don't you tell me why you think our relationship didn't work out?
Kim 你为什么不说说你觉得我们俩的感情没有成功的原因呢
'Cause you had a girlfriend.
因为你有女朋友了
But what could I have done differently?
但是我应该怎么做得更好呢
You could have told me you had a girlfriend.
你可以告诉我你有女朋友了
- That's right. - All right. All right.
-你说得对 -好吧 好吧
Now, what do you think you could have done differently?
你觉得你可以怎么做得更好呢
Nigga, what did you just say to me?
老哥 你刚才说什么
Well, be honest.
好吧 说实话
You know, when we broke up he tried to date my sister.
我们分手的时候 他想约我妹妹
- Wow. - Well, I didn't know.
-哇哦 -好吧 我当时不知道
Yes, you did. Don't lie.
你当然知道 别撒谎
You didn't let me finish.
你没让我说完
I didn't know that that mattered.
我不知道你会在意这个
Huh! Oh, you're disgusting.
你真是令人作呕
- You dumped me on Juneteenth. - Really?
-你六月节的生活把我甩了 -真的吗
六月节 美国于6月19日庆祝黑奴解放的节日
I didn't even know that was a fucking holiday until last year.
我去年之前都不知道那是个正经节日
Shame on you.
真不害臊
I got one.
我想到了
- You always shit on everything I like. - Yes!
-我喜欢什么你都要批判一番 -没错
No, I don't.
我没有
Yes, you do.
你有
I hated tellin' you about anything I like
我不喜欢告诉你我喜欢什么
because you make me feel dumb for liking it.
就是因为你让我觉得我喜欢的东西很傻
But don't you think if something you like is objectively bad
但你不觉得如果你喜欢的东西就是很烂
I should make you feel a little dumb so you don't like it anymore?
我就应该让你觉得这有点傻 这样你就不会再继续喜欢了
- It is not objectively bad if I think it's good. - Right.
-如果我认为它很好 它就不算烂 -没错
- Oh, what the fuck you know? You like K-pop. - And?
-哦 你懂什么啊 你喜欢K-pop -那又如何
See? You're doing it again.
看到没 你又开始了
She calls Harry Styles R&B. That's fuckin' wrong!
她说Harry Styles是R&B 这根本就不对
I mean, I don't even know this man that well but it looks like I dodged a bullet.
我都不太了解他 但看起来我躲过了一劫
- Yep. Yep. - You sure did.
-没错 没错 -当然了
What?
怎么了
Fuck! You asked us to help you.
干 是你让我们帮你的
Okay. You're right. You're right.
好吧 你说得对 你说得对
I'm sorry.
对不起
I will listen.
我会听的
I wanna be with somebody that I can share something with without being ridiculed.
我想跟一个不会嘲笑我和他分享的东西的人在一起
- Or shut out. - Yes.
-也不会被无视 -对
That's fair.
有道理
And I guess that's the only thing wrong with me.
我猜这就是我唯一一个毛病了
Boy, that is not that the only thing wrong with you.
兄弟 这才不是你唯一一个毛病
Absolutely not.
绝对不是
You know what else I hate? You never answer my texts.
你知道我还讨厌什么吗 你从来都不回我的短信
- But then when I'm with you you're always lookin' at your phone. -Yes.
-但是我们俩在一起的时候 你却总是在看手机 -没错
And clearly you seen them.
而且你显然都看到了
My friends are famous comedians.
我的朋友都是知名喜剧人
You think you're more entertaining than say, Chris Rock or somebody?
你认为你比 比如说 Chris Rock或谁更有趣吗
All right. So you're just gonna flip it on me?
好吧 所以你要反过来怪在我身上吗
That's fucking crazy, Michael.
难以置信 Michael
And also, you like to use my bathrobe as a bathmat and that's gross.
还有 你喜欢拿我的浴袍当浴室的足垫 这很恶心
Do you want my feet to get cold?
你想让我冻着我的脚吗
I got another one.
我又想到一个
You fat, and you always been mean.
你很肥 而且你总是很刻薄
Well, that just feels like an insult.
好吧 这个听起来就是单纯骂人了
You snore. Loud.
你打呼噜 还很大声
And you know what? I'm nervous that you're gonna stop breathing in your sleep.
你知道吗 我很担心你会睡着睡着就没气了
'Cause he fat.
因为他很肥
Yes. Yes, that's it.
没错 没错
All right!
好了
I guess maybe I could do a better job of taking care of myself.
我想也许我可以把自己照顾得更好
Thank you for that.
谢谢你们
Seriously, all of you.
真的 谢谢你们所有人
Like, this stuff is not easy to hear but I think maybe I need to hear it.
这些话很不容易接受 但是我觉得也许我需要听一听
So I really appreciate you guys helping me.
所以 我知道很感激你们能来帮我
Honestly, Michael.
说真的 Michael
I do think it's a good step that you're finally listening.
我确实认为你终于肯听了这件事这是一个很好的进步
Mm-hmm. Yes.
嗯哼 是的
Well, I guess I know what I gotta do to get Grace back.
好吧 我想我知道我要怎么做才能挽回Grace了
- Grace? - Who the fuck is Grace?
-Grace -谁是Grace
She's the only woman I ever cared about.
她是我唯一在意过的女人
- What? - No, this nigga did not.
-什么 -你说什么呢
You are so fucking fake.
你太他妈的虚伪了
Sorry. Sorry.
抱歉 抱歉
Oh, my God.
哦 天呐
What's wrong?
出什么事了
Michael has cancer.
Michael得了癌症
What?
什么
He just text me
他刚刚给我发短信
"I think I have cancer. Please come now. Don't bring Candice."
“我好像得癌症了 过来好吗 别带Candice来”
Well, you gotta go. He needs you.
好吧 你得过去 他需要你
But I'm over him. I can't just--
但是我已经放下他了 我不能
Babe, regardless of how things turned out you two shared something.
宝贝 不论结局如何 你们两个都一同经历了一些
You should go see him.
你应该去见见他
Why are you so good to me?
你为什么对我这么好
Go.
去吧
- All right. I'm gonna catch that ten train. - Yeah.
-好 我要去赶车了 -好的
Hey, baby. I'm actually free tonight.
嘿 宝贝 其实我今天晚上有空
[Vanilla Fudge's "You Keep Me Hangin' On"]
♪ Set me free ♪
I think if a woman gets married she should throw away all her sex toys.
我觉得如果一个女人结婚了 她应该把所有的小玩具都扔掉
No.
不
Well if I get married I'm throwing away my Pringles can.
如果我结婚了 我就扔掉我的品客薯片罐
You said Pringles can?
品客薯片罐？
My Pringles can stuffed with baloney.
我那塞满了香肠的薯片罐
Or should I keep it? What are you telling me?
还是说我应该留着它 你们想告诉我什么
You giving me mixed signals, guys.
你们的意思都自相矛盾
♪ You really don't need me ♪
♪ You just keep me hangin' on ♪