GET OUT YOUR HANDKERCHIEFS
Isn't it good?
It's good.
Then why aren't you eating?
I am eating.
No. You're pecking, nibbing, forcing it down.
I'm not hungry.
You're never hungry.
Stop, please.
Stop? I'm just starting.
I've had it! I want to understand.
Understand what?
Why you're never hungry, for anything!
Lost your appetite?
No.
Yes! And I'll tell you why.
Because you're sick of seeing my face!
I can't say I blame you.
I'd trade it in, if I could.
Just once, could I finish a meal...
without an upset stomach or a migraine?
An upset stomach! Migraines!
It's always something! Why?
That does it! Now I'm not hungry either!
Solange.
I love you. Understand?
You drive me crazy, but I love you.
I love you, too.
No you don't.
You know what's wrong? You need another guy!
Stop talking nonsense, you dumb jerk. It's insane.
I'm not a dumb jerk.
I'm lucid, that's what I am.
You need somebody new, another pair of eyes...
another pair of balls.
Oh, balls! I've seen enough.
It's a question of going stale.
We're in a rut, we need air!
Right now?
It's urgent!
I've had it up the ass with your sulking!
You're drying up!
What's your suggestion?
The guy with glasses, you dig him?
What guy?
Come off it! Stop insulating me.
You know which one I mean.
- With the beard? - With the beard.
And cross-eyed from staring at you over his paper.
Does he turn you on?
Very ordinary.
You don't have to marry him.
But just for some kicks - he seems decent, right?
I just want you to be happy, see?
I'm not on an ego trip. There's nothing I wouldn't give you.
If you want to sleep with a guy, go on, he's all yours.
I don't want him!
Come on Solange, don't be negative.
Let's try to be modern.
Don't move.
Mind if I sit down?
No, not at all.
Am I interrupting?
It's all right.
That magazine... special kind?
Yeah.
What's it about?
Music.
- You like music? - Yes.
What kind of music?
Mozart.
Is that about Mozart?
No.
There's an article on grand opera.
Interesting?
Very interesting.
Is my wife interesting?
Pardon?
Do you find my wife interesting? Is she your taste?
Is she close to your ideal woman?
I have no ideal woman.
My ideal is to see her smile.
But she never smiles anymore.
You haven't answered me.
First of all, who's your wife?
The little brunette across from us...
finishing her sauerkraut,
and pretending we're not here! See who I mean?
The one you've been staring at over my shoulder...
while I'm trying to eat a quiet lunch on Sunday.
If I had a paper and pencil, I'd draw you a picture.
Are you looking for a fight?
No, no. Hey, it's 1978. Almost the 21 st century.
Relaxed. Modern. No more duels.
I'm not a possessive guy.
I just want my wife to be happy.
So I'm cutting out. Nice, huh?
You take my place. Here,
to cover the check.
Just bring back her smile. With me, she's lost it.
If you get her to smile, you'll be my pal.
And when I say to a guy, "You're my pal..."
everything I got is his.
Of course, by then, there isn't much more you could ask of me.
Still, it doesn't hurt to be my pal, you dig?
It's your move.
Excuse me, I've got to talk to you.
It's terrible.
Have you got a second?
Yes.
Look at me. Do I look like an idiot?
No.
Know what I just did?
I gave my wife to a stranger, as a gift.
A gift?
Not exactly a gift, Let's say I lent her to him.
Do you think you'll see her again?
If I lose her, I lose her.
Her happiness is all I care about.
Do you realize what a dangerous game you're playing?
I can't help it. I'm hung up on her.
I'm gaga over her...
like with a kid! You have any kids?
I'm nuts about my wife...
and that's an understatement.
She blows my mind.
Help me out.
In that case, I need more information.
What's she like?
The brunette with short hair.
She's nothing special.
I know, but she drives me wild!
Don't mind us.
He's nothing special either.
You think so?
What's the deal?
We're leaving.
That'd be too easy! You're staying.
I want this cleared up.
It's clear, it's clear.
No, it isn't. It's not clear at all.
You can't manipulate me.
Sit down, cards on the table.
I'd better go.
No! Whoever you are, you're staying!
I'm just an innocent bystander!
Says you!
Okay.
Well?
Exactly what is this?
Where do I fit in?
You're putting me on. Why?
Nobody's putting you on.
I'm letting you have my wife.
Watch out!
If you let me, I'll take her!
I'm giving her to you! Want it in writing?
Watch out!
My hotel's nearby. We won't just talk.
Be gentle with her, that's all.
She's fragile and she means a lot to me.
Take care of her, or else...
May we know what the principal party thinks?
You're pleased, aren't you?
Doesn't give a damn!
So what am I doing here? She doesn't give a damn!
I say, "Want to come to my hotel?"
She answers, "If you want."
Doesn't give a damn!
Get another guy, she'd be the same.
Not hot, not cold.
"If you want!"
If that's how it is, I'm taking off.
I get uptight around creeps like you!
Here, I've got a train to catch!
Beautiful.
You just met and you made her cry.
Me?
I hurt her feelings?
What did I say? What did I do?
Next you'll say, it's all my fault!
I had to come here to eat.
You're all the same, it's never your fault.
Women cry and you never understand why.
You don't understand anything!
Go away, this is between us women.
I'll comfort her.
Now, just a minute...
Beat it! Shove off! Go play outside.
Shove off!
Don't argue, just do what she says.
But I ordered a plate of mussels!
Forget it, the waters are polluted.
Want to get hepatitis?
I was hungry.
Now you're not.
I am!
I'll get hepatitis if I want! I'm a free man.
No one's free! You won't choose your hepatitis...
it'll choose you!
That's what you think!
Where's he going?
My God...
what an idea!
We're not wanted.
Why is she bawling?
I don't know.
For 6 months, she' been on a bad trip.
In what way?
Every way! Migraines, depression, never any fun...
won't eat, wasting away before my eyes.
Her latest thing is insomnia!
Seen a doctor?
Sure. But they're all schmucks!
They say she's fine, nothing's wrong...
just nerves.
Does she work?
No way, I make good bread, she doesn't have to.
What do you do?
I teach at a driving-school.
We're lucky, too! We found a reality neat place.
Okay, not many trees around, but inside it's great.
See? Like the suburbs.
Over here, to the left.
Careful, there's a bad step.
Here we are!
Great, eh?
Nice.
How many guys you know have a fireplace these days?
See the beam?
Great.
You should see it in the sun.
In summer, the sun hits the bed -
until eleven o'clock, then it's blocked by that tower.
You get it back around one o'clock through the other window,
until three in the afternoon.
Then it's blocked by the other tower.
She knits?
And how! That's a turtle-neck she's knitting for me.
Dig that. 3 different colours of wool.
"Chine," it's called. See the fringes?
Yeah, it's nice.
Very nice.
The patchwork quilt on the bed, that's hers.
Beautiful.
She's loaded with ideas for the place.
It had 3 rooms when we first saw it.
She said to me, "Knock out that wall."
"Knock out that wall, too."
"Expose the fireplace." A little architect!
You did it all yourself?
Little by little, on Sundays.
I like breaking down walls.
Don't you?
Yeah.
- You live alone? - Yeah.
Doesn't it bug you?
Look, at these flowers. She sure knows how to put colours together.
Don't you like flowers?
Oh, yeah.
It's a pleasure...
to come home to a well-kept house...
the windows sparkling, nothing out of place.
Just the smell of beef cooking...
or maybe a stew simmering.
The table's set, the fireplace is blazing.
You plunk your ass down -
Here, try it!
- No. - Go ahead.
Try it! It's mine.
Stretch your legs.
There.
And she sits here with her knitting...
and she knits, looking into the fire.
What do you do?
I look at her, I look at the fire.
I look at her again.
She smiles at me as she knits.
You're lucky.
I was lucky.
Now it's all falling apart.
She still knits, but she doesn't smile.
You know much about chicks?
I don't understand them.
Why is she depressed?
Why is she screwed up?
Get her pregnant!
She can't have children!
Been trying for 2 years.
Shit.
Yeah, it's not as simple as that.
Have you seen a doctor?
Three.
And?
Same old story, "It's all psychological, keep trying...
that's 100 dollars, please!"
What are you doing?
I'm taking aspirin.
Well, I better get going...
You're not going to leave me alone with her?
I have to catch a train.
Where to?
Béthune.
I'll give you a ride.
Are you crazy?
Don't be an asshole! Stay!
We'll light a fire. I'll give you a ride!
What's the matter? What's wrong?
I'm dizzy.
Help me get her onto the bed!
I'll get a doctor! Loosen her clothes!
Doctor, my wife is sick!
I'm not a doctor.
Don't try that. I know you!
I'm not on call today.
On call or not, get your ass in gear and come on!
Is that her?
She doesn't look sick.
I feel better.
Two minutes ago she was passing out.
Weirdos.
Weirdos!
Thanks a lot! I look like a jerk again.
You're driving me nuts, Solange, you're driving me up the wall!
It's not her fault.
As for you...
you better catch that train to Béthune!
Go ahead!
Very good, very good.
You over there, Let's go.
All right, everybody back on this side.
Hi.
What do you want?
I'm sorry about last time, I was in bad shape.
You drove 150 miles to apologize?
No.
Then what's up?
She's getting worse, I'm worried. I need your help!
Again?
What's wrong with her?
She had two more attacks, one in the middle of the night... for no reason.
She was cold as ice.
I waited for it to pass like the other time, but it didn't!
She said her legs were paralysed. She cried and cried.
Then I thought about you.
Why me?
If you'd been there, I could've left her...
to get a doctor!
It's all going to be my fault!
Please, get off my back. Both of you.
Excuse me, I'm working.
Don't be like that. I need you.
I drove 3 hours to ask for help.
I'm flipping out. So is she.
I don't know how to handle her.
Two of us will be enough.
Raise it a yard!
Want my diagnosis? I'll give it to you free.
Nothing is wrong with your wife.
It's all in her head... No!
It's there.
With women, it's always there.
Start a kid growing in there and that'll end...
the attacks, the fainting.
Maybe you can make it happen.
Huh? What?
How could you tell who the father was?
So what? These days, kids need 2 fathers!
When do you get off?
Noon.
We'll pick you up at noon and head for the beach.
A weekend together, just us three.
The sea breeze will do her good, the fresh air!
I'm not interested.
You don't like her anymore? That's impossible!
You two scare me shiftless!
Don't you think we scare ourselves?
Alone, in front of the fire...
I feel lonely. I miss you!
We're strangers!
I feel like I've known you forever.
I like you! With you, I can talk about her.
I love her so much it strangles me!
It's like having a secret...
that I can't tell!
Let me try to get through to you.
See? I've got my kids, I've got sports.
I even compete a little, to stay in shape.
Sometimes I go to Lille...
where I have friends.
Two guys can't love the same girl! It'll end badly.
So you're letting me down?
I'm saying, keep your wife for yourself.
Why don't I just kick your ass?
Well? What happens now?
Excuse me, I just can't.
Even though I reality want you, believe me.
In fact, I've never...
been in the sack with a girl as terrific as you.
But knowing he's down there...
in that bar, all alone...
turns me off.
I should go have a drink with him.
Go on, I didn't ask anyone for anything.
This is a grotesque situation!
Two imbeciles in a hotel bed, unable to screw...
while the husband waits in a bar for it to be over!
Solange, where will it end?
Bernadette, let me tell you...
today I'm happy.
Understand? Happy!
My name's not Bernadette.
With your face, your name should be Bernadette.
What about my face?
You look like a Bernadette.
For example, your name couldn't be Isabelle.
Okay, so my name's Bernadette.
Actually, it's reality Martha but that's just as dumb.
Let's go with Bernadette.
I don't know your name and I don't want to.
All I know is you're a poor slob, like all the rest...
strictly out of it.
I can see it in your eyes.
I don't believe most people who say they're happy.
When I hear the word "happiness," I cringe.
How do you know you're happy?
Are you in love?
Is she pretty?
A cute little ass?
Congratulations...
today you're a winner, but tomorrow?
What's waiting for you tomorrow?
Take me for example, Bernadette-face.
You see me as a nobody...
a tramp.
Maybe I am. I'm no bargain.
But another day, in other circumstances...
a lot could happen between us.
Fate could give us a little push and...
why not?
I'd be the only one for you.
You'd just have to feel a little lonely...
a little helpless...
and you might find that Bernadette is a pretty name.
Yes, it's possible.
You'd want to be in my arms...
to be comforted by me...
to hide away in my bed, maybe.
Yes, maybe.
My bed squeaks.
The springs have taken a beating.
No sweat. I can sleep anywhere.
You know, I'm the kind of girl who's at her best in the dark.
I believe you.
I know tricks to keep a guy from sleeping.
Quick! She's having an attack!
She'll probably sleep until tomorrow morning.
That's 10 dollars.
We'll split it.
Why does she get these attacks, Doctor?
Four of them in 2 weeks.
Attacks, fainting spells... many women get them!
A woman's nervous system is like the weather...
we don't understand either one.
Most of my patients are sailors...
so I think twice before I stick my neck out.
Predict good weather and a storm comes up.
Many sailors' wives get these attacks, too.
- Is she pregnant? - No.
That's good, the shot I gave her would've jeopardized a baby.
Want to know what I think?
Remember asking if I knew anything about women?
Yeah, I even remember your answer.
That's right. I don't know much about them.
But there's one thing I've learned.
What?
How to tell a first-class ball-breaker...
from an ordinary ball-breaker.
Okay, so what?
So, I can tell you this about Solange...
she's not an ordinary ball-breaker.
She looks like an angel.
How could you abandon something so fragile?
Look at that vein, how it throbs.
Have you ever imagined what's going on...
in the body of a woman...
asleep next to you at night?
The blood circulating...
through a thousand canals, some the size of a hair.
The heart pumping away in slow motion...
a whole factory working noiselessly.
Defenceless. At the mercy of the slightest aggression.
Stroke her...
she turns...
and her pulse speeds up.
Isn't it our job to protect that marvellous machine? So delicate.
Careful! She's dreaming.
Stefan.
I want to ask you something... something important.
What?
If anything ever happens to me...
will you take care of her?
I don't want her to end up working in a crummy bar.
I'll take care of her, I promise.
Thanks, you're a good guy.
You're a good guy, too.
Take a look.
Every Pocket Book published.
5000 volumes.
In alphabetical order...
Céline, Colette - only the greats.
Pick any book at random and give me the number.
2147.
A Love, by Buzzati.
Another one, quick!
3247.
Impressions of Africa, by Roussel.
Go, go on.
This will get you...
1536.
Sweet Thursday...
Steinbeck!
Good old Mozart.
Could be worse, huh?
We're going to make a baby!
You'll see.
Solange?
What?
I think we're in trouble.
What trouble?
I love you.
I love you, too.
I should never have picked that restaurant.
You all right?
I'm fine.
Of all the places to eat on a Sunday...
I had to pick that one.
What are you thinking?
Nothing. I'm just listening.
Do you think I picked that restaurant...
because something told me you'd be there?
Something? What?
I don't know.
Like a force.
Maybe there's some force that...
makes people meet, if they're destined to meet.
Maybe.
You made me drop a stitch.
When I saw you in there, I said to myself:
"Another one with a guy...
another one who's going to pass me by."
"Another one I can never love."
That's what I thought, and then...
Incredible! Incredible!
You're here, with me!
Is that guy crazy, or what?
What guy?
We miss you.
It's just not the same when you're not here.
We feel a little lost.
I'm not saying we haven't had some good times...
but we can't stop thinking about you.
You might say...
we're depressed, knowing you're all alone.
Hello?
Raul? Are you there?
Shhh. She's asleep.
She looks very pale to me.
I couldn't tell you on the phone, but...
it's not working.
No, it's not working. Something's not normal.
I do my best to entertain her.
It's no use. Impossible to make her laugh.
Impossible to make her talk.
It's like she's forcing herself to live.
There's got to be a way. You've got to do something.
I leave her all my records. She doesn't listen to them.
She doesn't read my books.
Nothing excites her.
All she does is housework.
The windows, the floor, the laundry.
Never stops scrubbing!
She's always liked that.
There's a question I keep asking myself.
What's that?
Is it possible that she's just plain dumb?
Scrub and knit, that's all she does!
Impossible!
Impossible.
A guy like me couldn't love a dumb chick!
- My God! - What's happening?
Over there. She's over there.
We're looking for Solange.
The one from the train?
Yes. Where is she?
Ward B. Relatives?
Yes. And you?
Dr. Delambre. I treated her.
Is it bad?
Or is it nothing, as usual?
I don't understand.
Is it serious or not?
Absolutely not.
What does that tell us?
Why do you say so?
Save your breath.
There's only one thing these doctors know for sure...
and that's where to send the bill.
Get dressed, we're taking you out!
Why don't you just give up on me.
I've jinxed every guy I've ever known.
Just forget about me.
What did you say? What did she say?
Just bullshit.
She doesn't say much, but when she does...
Get up!
Where are your clothes?
I won't go!
You don't want to come with us?
Did you hear that, Stefan?
Get up, the joke's over.
I'm staying here! I'm fine here!
Just us women! My girlfriends!
No more trouble with men!
We give you trouble?
Keep it up, we'll leave for good.
Well, get the hell out!
What do you two give me?
Nothing! Not even a little miscarriage.
Normal girls are easy to find!
You can pick and choose!
Where the hell is my handkerchief?
Here's a present from my old pal, Mozart.
He heard you were sick so he wrote you some music.
That clarinettist is no one-arm bandit!
Man, he's the best - Gervase de Brumer.
Do you like it?
Yes, I like it.
Listen to that.
Listen to him work that instrument.
That's good, very good.
The guy who wrote that music was unlucky in love!
Hell, the poor guy died when he was 35.
35 years old! What a loss.
The dumb bastards just let him die!
Sure, all they knew how to do back then was to bleed you.
Got a cold? Pump 2 quarts out of him!
Well, now it's car accidents, so it's the same thing...
because people drive like assholes!
What did Mozart die of?
No one knows exactly.
With antibiotics, he might've written 40 more symphonies...
and Beethoven could've gotten in line!
Mozart is one guy I wish I'd known.
How about me?
All the times he's picked me up when I was down.
Before I met you, he was my only friend.
If only we could've invited him up for dinner.
Or a drive in the country.
Would he dig that?
He dug everything! He was a regular guy.
He could've had the girl.
We'd have said, "Wolfgang, she's all yours!"
"Her name is Solange, a gift from your admirers."
He would've written her a sonata.
- Y'know... - Yeah?
Listen to this...
imagine he was reincarnated.
Who?
Your pal, Mozart.
Get the picture?
Reincarnated, man! You with me?
He's down there, in the street...
he's walking, in a daze.
His clothes are shabby.
He's lost.
Nobody's out, everyone's in bed.
And what does he hear?
Our music. His music!
His concerto coming from somewhere.
That blows old Mozart's mind!
He lets the sound guide him.
He gets near our place.
He thinks, "It must be coming from that old building."
He opens the downstairs door and steps in.
He hesitates.
Now he can hear the music better.
It rolls down the hall, drawing him on irresistibly.
He heads for the stairs...
He thinks, "There can't be a whole orchestra in this dump!"
"Who would've thought I'd ever be so popular?"
Son of a bitch!
He starts up the stairs.
He climbs them softly, step by step...
in his pumps and white stockings.
At every step, his concerto becomes clearer.
One floor, two floors, he gets to our landing.
He stops and stands still.
He stands there, trembling.
Right outside our door.
He listens, holding his breath.
His concerto, prayed as never before!
Gervas De Brumer.
The clarinettist he'd never dared hope for!
It's three in the morning! I've got to get up at five!
Cut out that racket or I'll call the cops.
You're gonna shut up and listen to Mozart!
Screw your music. I like silence!
Gervase De Brumer, the best clarinettist in the world!
Sit down, shut your mouth and open your ears!
I tell you all I want to do is sleep.
I'm a small grocer who's worn out.
Supermarkets, lawyers, tax inspectors... all on my ass!
The Labour Department is on my ass...
all of France is on my ass...
and your music won't let me sleep.
So fuck your Mozart, I don't know the guy!
He can't lend me the money to pay my bills!
Lay off Mozart, he's my pal!
He had debts, too.
At the end of his life, he was so broke he nearly froze his ass off!
But he went on composing!
Not peddling vegetables!
What have you got against vegetables?
Is selling them a crime? Everybody eats vegetables!
We prefer meat.
You want a drink?
No thanks.
"No thanks?"
Are you trying to say you're not a lush?
The face that launched 1000 bottles!
I'm on the wagon, doctor's orders.
Doctors are assholes!
The less you listen, the better you'll be.
Come on, bend that old elbow.
Drink, or I'll be offended.
That's more like it.
Thanks, Mozart.
What?
Say, "Thanks, Mozart."
Thanks Mozart.
Better than being in bed, right?
A little more?
We'll help you in the store, we'll lug your vegetables!
Close your eyes, drink and listen to Mozart.
I'm sleepy, I tell you.
There's the bed. You can sleep there!
You can't go now, we'd miss you.
You came here on your own.
Miss...
If you can make her laugh, she's yours.
For weeks we've tried to get her to smile.
No luck! We're flipping out!
Do us a favour. Make her laugh!
I'd like to help, but I don't see how...
Think of something!
Why are you doing that?
So the blood goes to her head.
Want the house doctor?
Mind your own business! We've seen enough doctors!
- Feel better? - This happen often?
It happens.
Often?
From time to time.
Is she pregnant?
No!
Often in the first 3 months, they're subject to fainting spells.
Would you please mind your own business?
You aren't a neighbour, after all!
It's a problem.
What is?
Fainting spells.
It worries us too, I'll tell you.
It's because she can't bear children.
Why? What do they do to her?
Who?
The children.
Nothing.
So why can't she bear them?
What I meant was...
she can't have children.
Say what you mean! I'm not a mind reader!
Kindly ask your neighbour to get off my ass.
Who says she can't have them?
She can't get pregnant.
She says it's hopeless.
What are you handing me?
She's made to have kids, anyone can see that.
Yeah, but she's got some kind of a block.
Unblock her!
He's very funny! How?
Find a gimmick.
What gimmick?
Any gimmick! A knack! A trick!
You're young! Get your ass in gear!
Summer's coming. Vacation time.
What're your plans?
What are our plans?
I don't know.
Stop sitting around like jerks!
Rack your brains.
Be quiet, please!
Please.
I know you're all eagerly waiting for dessert.
I'm pleased to announce that tonight it's "petit suisse."
As you know, "petit suisse" is a triple-cream cheese...
to be eaten plain or sweetened.
It's not to be thrown at each other!
It's a food, not a projectile.
Kindly remember that!
Since I'm the goat, have your fun!
All right! All right!
Take off your makeup.
You poor bastard.
A "petit suisse?"
I'm not mad at them, you know.
They have their idea of fun, I have mine.
What's your idea of fun?
Mathematics...
photography, astrology, languages.
So you're a brain?
An IQ of 158.
Is that high?
Enormous, way above average.
So you think your shit doesn't stink?
What I think doesn't matter, there are scientific tests.
Don't be jealous, intelligence isn't happiness! The proof...
Who's jealous?
I'm sure our own IQ's...
are far from negligible.
I can give you some tests.
What I wonder is...
what's him and his IQ doing in this crummy camp?
Ask my parents.
Who are your parents?
Creeps.
They usually are.
But what kind of creeps?
Just creeps. Ordinary creeps.
Especially my father.
I can forgive my mother.
She has a nice smile, at times.
And she plays a little piano.
She's not bad, but she's rusty.
She should practice more.
As for my father...
up at 6 a.m., by 7 he's in his big Citroen.
"A boss arrives before his workers..."
"and leaves after them, to set a good example."
So he gets home around 7 p.m.
He takes off his tie and turns on the TV.
We have a stereo that looks like a Boeing instrument panel...
he can't even work it.
I have to explain it to him.
He only likes Wagner.
Wagner bugs me, I prefer Schubert.
What about Mozart?
He's all right, once in a while.
Once in a while? Listen to him!
Big brain, maybe...
no ear, definitely!
Not at all! I give Mozart his due...
but you can't listen only to Mozart!
Yes, you can!
Mozart is enough for me...
my life is full.
You can't just ignore Hayden, Schumann, Brahms...
not to mention Beethoven.
- Beethoven... come on! - You old dumb-ass!
That's no explanation why the boss's brat's here.
In a crappy camp for immigrants and poor miners.
who can barely wipe their asses!
My father calls it "learning the hard way..."
for the sake of the factory.
For the sake of the factory?
Since I'm destined to manage workers...
it seems I have to learn to know them.
Their feelings, reactions, customs -
Those tests you mentioned, wanna give them to us?
If you want.
What's the point?
It might tell us something.
Scared?
Not at all! We've got nothing to hide.
We'll start simply.
The tree test.
What's that?
You draw a tree.
What kind?
Just a tree!
I can draw you ten trees.
One is enough.
Sycamore, larch, baobab -
Any kind.
Right, any tree. Here we go.
Why is she snickering?
Aren't those pretty trees?
What do you think of them?
- Well... - Well what?
I mean -
You mean what?
They're fine trees! They're terrific!
What the hell's so funny?
We're morons, is that it?
We draw trees like morons!
Let's not exaggerate, but -
She's cracking up, she thinks we're cretins.
Make up your minds!
Do you want me to laugh or not?
I don't know how to act!
She's better.
She's much better!
Wasn't she all right before?
You worry about your trees!
Whose turn is it tonight?
Isn't it mine?
I'm not sure.
Weren't you with her last night?
I can't seem to remember.
You crazy or what?
You don't know if you slept alone or with Solange?
I don't know.
Who is it?
Us.
Come in.
Do you remember who slept with you last night?
I've been so sleepy lately that I -
That's not much help.
You stay.
Why me? You stay.
No, it really doesn't matter.
I want to do some reading tonight.
Who do you want to sleep with?
What if I slept alone?
If that's what you want...
it's your right.
You tired of us?
No, I ate too much, I'm a little nauseous.
It doesn't matter.
Shoe-polish his prick! Shoe-polish his prick!
Teacher's pet! Teacher's pet!
Fall in by twos!
Hurry up! Hurry up!
One's missing.
It's Christian!
Christian who?
Christian Beloeil!
Beloeil!
Anyone seen Beloeil?
Beloeil!
I'm not going back to camp.
- Want to go home? - No.
Then what do you want?
Nothing. To be left alone.
I'm sick of being a child.
Why?
I'm sick of having others decide for me.
People less competent than I am.
Like my mother... she had trouble having a baby.
She struggled ten years to have one... me.
By what right?
Other women knock themselves out not to have kids!
You have to admit I'm unlucky.
You shouldn't talk like that.
I never asked anyone for anything.
You shouldn't say such things.
Why not?
Just because...
Can't you have children?
No.
You don't need to have any,
there are enough as it is.
Don't bring any more into the world.
It's better to help those that exist.
Take me, for example.
You didn't carry me around for nine months...
but I like you better than my mother.
Is that a good book?
Pretty boring.
How's yours?
I don't understand a word.
Solange?
Are you awake?
Shame on you.
I didn't do anything...
I just wanted to look... I was curious.
You had no right!
Listen, Solange...
okay, let's face facts.
You invited me into your bed.
That was to protect you!
In the dorm, they pick on you.
I'm 13 years old! I'm not made of stone.
Accept your responsibilities... you led me on!
I'm sorry.
Get out. I'm through with you.
Please, don't be bitchy.
You're a monster. Get out!
I'll tell you one thing.
It's good you can't have a kid.
If you did, you'd screw him up...
and he'd be unhappy.
What do you mean, he'd be unhappy?
There would be times when...
he'd want to be near you...
very near.
To look at you, to touch you.
To hold you in his arms.
And you'd push him away.
Come here!
Why do you say that?
Have I pushed you away? Or hurt you?
Am I really a monster?
No... you're nice.
Don't cry.
I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done what I did.
It doesn't matter, it's not serious.
Solange?
I'm here.
Hold me.
My little boy.
I don't know why, but lately...
I've felt so strange.
Sometimes I feel as though I'm suffocating.
As if my chest is too small for what's inside.
I'm bored and excited at the same time.
Since I've known you, it's gotten worse.
Do you think it's normal?
Yes... it's normal.
You're becoming a man.
You smell so good.
All right now, you be good.
I have to ask you something.
Go on.
It's not easy to explain.
Well, my vacation ends in ten days.
We'll head north in the bus.
We'll say goodbye among the suitcases.
I'll get into dad's car, and never see you again.
I'll have to wait for 5 or 6 years...
for another chance like this.
What chance?
To be alone in a room like tonight...
with a woman, a real woman...
who could show me things, like a friend.
Who'd play games with me...
without getting mad.
But you're too young!
Excuse me.
Sometimes I start thinking my dreams are real.
I began to imagine you were my age.
It's foolish.
I'll leave now.
I'll go back to the dorm.
I'll fall asleep thinking of you.
For years, I'll fall asleep thinking of you.
Asleep.
You sure they're asleep...?
Not a sound.
I hear something.
It's nothing. Now come on!
I know the little bastard is precocious...
but let's not exaggerate.
The IQ is located in the brain, not in the balls!
Yeah, but the brain controls the balls, man!
Cut the bullshit, it's impossible!
Says you! I scored at 13...
When I was 13, I could go all night!
You're built different than him.
You're a sports freak!
Hey, your new glasses really suit you...
Going to see your folks?
- No. - Why not?
Don't want to.
You don't want to?
I just know I could never do it.
All right, what's going on?
I wanna stay with you.
No way, little man... no way!
You can't just drop me here.
I agree.
With what?
We'll keep him.
But how?
She's nuts!
I won't bother you! I'll stay out of your way!
Don't take him away from me, I need him.
Well, this is just great...
Who's gonna tell the parents? Mr. Fall Guy?
Where are they?
No, no... go on, Beloeil!
Hello, ma'am. Hello, sir.
Where's Christian?
Over there... He's fine, don't worry.
May I get in for a second?
What's wrong?
Nothing serious... just a small snag.
Christian doesn't want to go home with you.
He doesn't want to come home?
He says he can't do it.
It's a joke!
I'm afraid not.
Why won't he come home, may I ask?
Because you're creeps... Quote-unquote.
No reason not to believe it.
With his IQ, if he says so, it must be true.
Charles! Are you ill? Where are your pills?
Which pocket?
Wait for me!
What happened? You hurt?
Son of a bitch! Something's broken!
No way!
Yes! It hurts.
See? You're walking.
I am not!
You are!
Who says I'm walking?
Okay... I'm walking.
I'll go home, it's better that way.
Yes, perhaps.
Do you come up north often?
Yes.
Can we see each other?
If you want.
Got my address?
Yes.
Do you have a phone in Paris?
No.
I'd like to kiss you.
Me, too.
When I'm 18, you'll be...?
Kiss me.
Any news of the kid?
They stuck him in a boarding-school!
It's really a...
royal screw-up all down the line.
How's Solange?
Being examined right and left! They're searching...
They won't find anything.
What she needs is a kid!
Till she has one, we're up shit creek!
Relax, it doesn't help.
I can't! I'd like to go bust up the hospital.
And I came to hear some Mozart.
Well, not today! If Mozart were here, he'd be hiding.
He wouldn't be at the piano, he'd make himself small.
Good morning, I brought you some tangerines.
Won't you try one?
She's a zombie.
Stuffed with tranquillizers.
Did you find his school?
It's impossible.
Is it on the coast, in the mountains?
Is it in France, Switzerland, England?
I made 250 calls! 3 days in a phone booth!
Stefan brought me sandwiches.
I'm sorry to disturb you, but...
we're doing a nation-wide survey...
on the Quality of Life in France.
Would you answer one or two questions for us?
Yes, but please don't take too long...
because I have an appointment.
I must leave at 3 sharp, I can't be late.
I have a session with my physical therapist.
I have this trouble with my vertebrae...
so I have to exercise my back muscles.
The muscles hold the vertebrae in place.
Weak muscles cause the vertebrae to be displaced.
All sorts of problems can result.
For example, one day I found myself...
with one eye stuck wide open.
Impossible to close it.
I promise it won't take long.
Come in.
It's not necessary, this will take 5 minutes.
In fact, one question will do it.
This is the question...
In your opinion, how many children must a family have...
to be termed a "large" family?
I don't know...
Three... four...
Five?
I'm not very qualified to answer.
But all around this region...
you have miners' families.
Personally, I only have one child... a son.
But let me tell you, right now he's causing us...
a lot of worry, with his escapades!
Much as we hated to, my husband and I...
had to put him in a boarding-school.
But naturally we found the finest!
Progressive...
in the mountains, lots of fresh air.
In winter, they ski every afternoon.
You know St. Etienne in Beaufort?
That's where he is.
Then what did she do?
Took off her nightgown.
Bitch!
She was naked?
Completely?
Did she have big tits?
What'd you do then?
Did you feel her up?
I didn't dare.
You didn't do anything?
She kissed me.
On the mouth?
With her tongue?
And then?
That's enough...
No way!
You can't stop!
Can't leave us hanging...
Come on, don't be a bastard.
She took off my pyjamas.
You were both naked?
It's a lie!
I don't care if you don't believe me.
Don't con us!
Let him talk!
Then what happened?
Her head moved to the pillow...
Her eyes were shut...
She was moaning softly...
She looked happy.
What's it like inside?
Is it hairy?
Not on the inside.
Is it easy to get into it?
How do you feel, when you're in?
Good... You want to say there.
Does it hurt?
No... not at all.
Listen to me, you guys.
Beloeil is putting us on. It's bullshit!
He never did a thing!
Are you ready to swear it's all true?
Yes... I swear it.
Mrs. Beloeil, please don't get all upset.
It's not a kidnapping! We're not asking for ransom.
Your son is just spending the weekend with friends.
He'll be back at school Monday morning.
Shit, no! I'm staying with you!
I said Monday morning! It's not a kidnapping.
Shut up!
We're tired of hearing about this kidnapping stuff.
We're here to discuss production...
pay raises, re-hiring the men you laid off!
You're not leaving here until that's done!
In mortal danger! Do you know what that means?
A child in mortal danger!
A 13-year-old child.
Sensitive... delicate... defenceless!
Hello, young man. Glad to meet you.
Who's he?
A neighbour.
How do you do, sir.
I see your mother in your mouth and chin.
You know her?
I have that honour... a delightful woman.
Don't worry, Christian... I'll rescue you!
While I'm alive, you're safe.
Trust Mama! From now on, you stay with me.
Your creep of a father can go hang himself!
"It'll form his character..."
Chairman-of-the-board bullshit!
You have character! You escaped...
and he's trapped in his factory!
What a laugh! The father incarcerated.
If only Mozart were here...
If Mozart were here...
let me tell you, he'd be depressed.
Why?
The idea of going back to boarding school on Monday...
wouldn't inspire any Hallelujahs.
It would have been better to leave me in my room.
Giving a child false hopes is a dirty trick!
Solange wanted to see you.
When she doesn't see you, she gets sick.
So after Monday, she'll be sick again.
One step forward, two back.
Kidnapping! Have you ever heard of that?
The abduction of a minor!
Want us to wind up in jail...
for 20 years? Little jerk!
Stop and think about it.
If no ransom is demanded, it's not kidnapping.
And if the child consents...
it's even less of a kidnapping.
You'd get 2 or 3 years at most.
The question is: do you want Solange to get well?
When you do something, you should go all the way.
Do it right.
What's wrong, you scared?
She took off with the kid!
Double-crosser!
When a woman wants a kid, you can bet she'll get one!
If we tell you that kidnapping wasn't our idea...
that we planned to take him back to school on Monday...
you'll laugh, right?
If we tell you that, actually...
the kid kidnapped us and we're the victims...
you'll really split a gut!
If we tell you the guilty parties...
are really the kid's parents...
Mr. and Mrs. Beloeil, who live in the town of Béthune...
and you should lock them up...
you'll say we're nuts!
So what do you want us to say?
Here... stick the cuffs on us!
Toss us in the clink. We're all yours!
She's alive...
Delightful!
Who are you?
A neighbour, a next-door neighbour.
A neighbour?
My face is surely familiar...
Just the other day, we chatted on your doorstep.
I can't seem to remember anything.
Where are we?
On the edge of Route 944, at the 16 mile mark.
It's a beautiful spot...
And beautiful weather... but it rained last night.
You must've skidded.
Is that my car?
Yes, Madam.
There was probably ice on the curve.
I don't remember a thing... I think I've lost my memory.
Don't be afraid. I'm a friend...
Good evening.
Good evening, Solange.
No news of my wife?
No sir... no news.
You really should stop thinking about her, sir.
I try, Solange, I try.
How about a good stiff Scotch?
You know the doctors forbid it.
Just a pick-me-up...
I think you're going to need it.
Why? Do you have some news?
Wait a second, I'll explain.
I'm listening.
It's about Solange.
Well?
She's pregnant.
Really...
By me.
When is it due?
April.
Congratulations, son.
Will you do me a little favour?
Anything.
In "The Complete Works of Schubert..."
on the first record you'll find...
a piece entitled "Hungarian Melody."
The one Mama played on the piano?
I'd like to hear it.
Quite loud, please.
Six months in the slammer for a bitch like her!
I'm still glad I'm me and not her.
We won't go get her this time!
No way!
She can stay right where she is, in the shit house!
That's not by Mozart.
Who's it by?
No idea, but it's not Mozart!