Parkman.
Hey, soldier.
This is Parkman.
They told me to call you at Parkman.
Who told you?
The guys that put you on the bus.
They told me Parkman was your hometown.
- Isn't it? - Yeah.
Used to be.
- Just these two? - Yeah.
No, thanks. You got time for a beer?
Uh, no, thanks. There's nothing open yet anyway.
Hey, where are you going?
You were gonna go without me, huh?
[GIGGLES]
Look, uh, baby, it's a little early for, uh...
Well, I like that. You ask a person to come on a trip with you and then you...
Hold it, hold it, hold it. I asked you?
If you didn't, you don't think I would have come, do you?
What am l, a tramp or something?
Gilly's Green Room, Chicago.
I was with Raymond.
- Raymond. Raymond? - The fella you took a poke at.
- Oh, yeah. - Now you remember?
I'd like to forget it.
Gee, Dave, you know, you sure was sweet to me.
- Uh, look... - You know something?
I would kind of like to have a soft bed. What do you say that, uh...? Ooh.
What do you say we go rest up...
...and after that, then we go meet your family?
That's just about the highest compliment that a fella can pay his girl.
- Asking to meet his folks and everything. - Look, look, look, sweetie. Um...
I feel badly about this, but this is no town for a girl like you.
You don't want me here?
No, I didn't say that.
It's just that, well, I got things to do here, you know?
So why don't you just go somewhere and get some rest and freshen up?
Bus leaves in an... Twelve noon or 1 2:30, I don't know.
Oh, you don't have to do that, Dave.
Well, I did take you pretty far out of your way.
Fifty dollars.
Look, I'm really sorry.
But you know, a guy gets loaded...
...and meets a girl and, you know...
You're a nice kid. I like you.
Take care, huh?
[SUITCASE SLAMS]
Hi.
Must have dozed off.
- I could have robbed the joint. - Yeah, if you needed stamps.
I want the best room in the house.
At 7.50 a day?
I promised myself if I had to come back here I'd have the best room in the house.
1 01.
Hirsh?
- Hey, you related to Frank Hirsh? - Brother.
Didn't know he had one.
I was beginning to get the same feeling myself.
- You don't look like him. - Thanks.
CLERK: This way.
Anything else, Mr. Hirsh?
Yeah, you can get me a bucket of ice, huh?
And, uh...
...I got a bank draft here for 5500 bucks. I want you to run it over...
...to the Citizen's National Bank. Soon as they open, deposit it.
Fifty-five hundred?
True.
And pick me up a couple bottles of whiskey.
Any blended whiskey would be good.
You said, uh, Citizen's National?
Yeah.
Your brother, Frank, isn't he on the board at the other bank?
Parkman Savings and Loan?
Yeah, I believe he is.
I won't be able to leave before the bellboy gets here.
But the banks don't open before 1 0.
Ten will be fine. That's great.
- That's a very popular pattern nowadays. VIRGINIA: Beautiful.
FRANK: Good morning, ladies. BOTH: Good morning.
- You're shopping for the wedding already? - We're looking at some silver patterns.
Virginia, I haven't had a chance to offer my congratulations.
- Thank you. - Have you found anything you like?
Well, Virginia likes the modern, and she is the one that's getting married.
But it's my idea of nothing.
Well, I personally prefer the traditional myself...
...but a lot of discriminating ladies are ordering modern these days.
Al, let's show them the Tobi pattern. It's a lovely design.
Frank, I just heard about your brother, Dave, being back in town.
Isn't it exciting?
Oh.
You see, it has classic lines, but it still has the simplicity of the modern.
Frank. I said, isn't exciting about your brother, Dave, being back in town?
Oh, Dave. Ha-ha. It certainly is. And it's real good to have him back.
- I suppose... - Now, make yourselves comfortable...
...and, Al, you take good care of them, now.
AL: I'll try, Mr. Hirsh.
Oh, just a minute. Here he is now.
- Good morning, Mr. Hirsh. - Morning, Edith.
It's for you.
- Oh, who is it? - Ned Deacon. He says it's important.
[FRANK CHUCKLES]
That means it's important to him.
Hello, Ned. What's on your mind, if anything, huh?
Did you hear your brother, Dave, is back in town?
Oh, of course I knew he was. He, uh... He called me this morning.
Well, did your brother tell you...
...he deposited over $5000 in the other bank?
Oh?
Now, Frank, as a director of Parkman Savings...
...that sure don't make you look good.
[CHUCKLES]
I'm sure he got his banks mixed up.
Yeah, I know that, Ned.
I know you got me that appointment, yes.
Oh, certainly. You bet I'll straighten it out.
Yeah.
Yeah. So long.
Anything wrong, Mr. Hirsh?
Oh, no, no, no. Not a thing.
[SHAVER BUZZING] [KNOCKS]
- Dave? - Come on in, this is the place.
- How'd you know it was me? - Figured it'd be you.
Dave, you old son of a gun, welcome home.
- Sit down. - Oh, it's good to see you, boy.
It's been a long time.
DAVE: Sixteen years. - Oh, you dog, you.
Sixteen years and not even a postcard.
I didn't figure you'd worry about me.
Oh, you're looking fine, Dave.
Oh, I know, I know, it's getting a little thin on top.
But like they say, "Not much grass on a busy street."
You may be losing your hair, but you haven't lost your wit.
- You want a drink? - What, at 1 0:30 in the morning?
- I don't watch a clock. - Ha-ha-ha.
Oh, whatever happened to your writing? When we used to see your name in print...
...at least we knew you were alive.
- I gave it up. - Why? You were doing pretty good.
- You got some... - The old man still around?
Oh. Oh, you didn't know?
No, no, God rest his soul. He passed on four or five years ago.
Towards the end, Dave, he was just hell on wheels.
- Booze, huh? - Well, well, what else?
Whew. What a family.
Ohh, wait till you see the new generation, Dave.
Why, that niece of yours? A real lady.
Say, why don't you pack up and move out to the house, huh?
We got plenty of room.
Well, I'm pretty sure we have.
No, thanks, Frank. I got it made right here.
Well, let me call Agnes and have her get a fatted calf out of the deep freeze.
- You're gonna have dinner with us tonight. - Sorry, Frank, I got plans.
Oh, uh, well, what are your plans, Davey?
What made you decide to come back to Parkman?
I shot my big fat mouth off to a couple drunken friends...
...and told them where I was born. - What's wrong? Parkman is your home.
How'd you know I was here?
Practically everybody in town knew you were here before I did.
You might have called me, Dave. You owe me that much.
Oh, I owe you more than that.
Four hundred and ten dollars to be exact. I got the check all made out.
What's that for?
This little check represents room and board at Mrs. Dilman's home for little boys.
Three dollars and 50 cents a week from the time I was 1 2 until I read a travel folder.
- You can't still be brooding about that. - I'm not brooding. I'm grateful.
I was a little better off than most of the kids. I had a generous big brother.
I was what they called a semi-charity boarder.
What did you expect me to do? Have the family move in with me?
You knew I just married Agnes.
Good Lord, Dave, you're a man now.
You know that a man has to live his own life.
How is Agnes, Frank?
FRANK: Ohh...
Davey, I did what I thought was right.
Nobody can do any more than that.
Sure it was tough on you, but how do you think I felt?
Putting you in the home? My only brother.
I'm not made of wood, Dave.
If you only knew the nights that I couldn't sleep.
Your story moves me to tears.
- Take the check. - Oh, come on.
Take it.
All right, if it'll make you feel any happier.
I'm not gonna fight with you, Dave. Life's too short for that.
Why don't you have dinner with us? I'd like it very much.
Not that it'll look funny if you didn't, you know...
...but will you do it?
- What time? - You mean you'll come?
If you're sure Agnes won't throw up.
- I'm not her favorite relative. - Oh, what talk.
Meet me at the store, say, 5.
And I'll call Agnes and have her fix up something real special, huh?
Oh. Ha-ha.
Uh, about that little gag of yours of putting the dough in the other bank.
- You know, that's... - I thought it would break you up.
- See you at 5. - See you.
No, Frank. Oh, no.
I will not have him in my house.
But, Agnes, he's my brother.
Don't you have any pride?
After he comes here and deliberately humiliates you?
And that...
All that slop he wrote about me in his book.
It was nasty and malicious and...
Why do you keep insisting he was writing about you?
Agnes, it was just a novel, for Pete's sake.
Nobody read it. It's forgotten.
Agnes.
What's the sense of arguing? I've already invited him. He's coming.
Well, then, don't expect to find me here.
I'll take Dawn and we'll eat at the club.
l... Frank, no...
Frank, I refuse to discuss it any further.
This isn't like you, dear. A brother.
Do you suppose people won't notice how we treat him?
Do you think they won't talk? Please, sweet...
Now, wait a minute. Let's be fair.
Did I say anything when that sponging cousin of yours was here?
Smoking my best cigars? Eating like a pig? Did I?
Agnes.
[GRO ANS]
Hello, Joe. I saw Milly yesterday, she said to be remembered to you.
David. David Hirsh. See you later.
You don't remember me, do you?
Jane Barclay, I used to have the candy store down on Chester Street.
Oh, of course, sure.
That was where a kid could get a stick of licorice on credit if he needed it bad.
Oh, yeah. That's why I'm doing housework today.
And you know who I'm working for? Your brother, Frank.
He sure hit the jackpot, that man.
My daughter even works as his private secretary...
...and he treats her like she was part of the family.
- Is that good? - Well, sure.
Say, you wanna do me a favor? Forget you saw me coming out of Smitty's.
You know, I stopped in for a quick beer.
- You like another one? - To tell you the truth, I would...
...but no, thanks, I gotta go.
I must say, you sure turned into a clean-cut fella, Dave.
- I mean, Mr. Hirsh. - Still Dave.
Thank you, Dave.
- And thanks for the licorice. - Aw, don't mention it. Don't mention it.
SMITTY: What do you want me to do, lose my license? Go to the liquor store.
Now, take it easy, man. I told you I was 21 last week.
Oh, congratulations. Now, stop bothering me.
Straight.
Say, pal, will you get it for me?
Pint of Old Eagle up there.
Very cool date tonight. Real nice stuff.
Anybody ever tell you whiskey's a man's drink? Why don't you run home to Mama?
Aw, these kids today.
Dumb. At his age, I never had any trouble getting fried.
Let me buy you a drink, Mr. Hirsh.
Go ahead, pour yourself another.
How'd you know who I was?
Oh, I heard you were in town, uniform.
Sort of a family resemblance. Now, no offense meant.
You know my brother?
Well, he don't send me no Christmas cards.
Um, I'm Bama Dillert.
- What can I do for you, Mr. Dillert? - Nothing.
I'm just here to welcome you to Smitty's cocktail hour.
You sort of stuck the needle in old Frank where it hurts.
You know, putting your money in a bank that he ain't with.
[DAVE CHUCKLES]
- News sure gets around fast here. - About the only thing in town that does.
Do you play any cards, Mr. Hirsh?
Some, why?
Well, it's just a few of the boys and myself...
...we have a poker game now and then.
We'd kind of like to have a little new blood.
- And new money. - Mm-hm.
You don't mince words.
Well, I try not to.
But you gotta remember now, we're just little old country boys.
We don't know the finer points of the game.
But we aiming to learn.
And you know, you can always learn from a fella that saves his money.
I won that dough from several guys.
Well, that's even smarter yet.
Case you're interested, we're having a game here tonight in Smitty's backroom.
- I might just drop around, Mr. Dillert. - Oh, I'll like that fine, Mr. Hirsh.
- Buy yourself a Quonset hut. - Thanks.
AL: Well, what can I show you, sir?
- Got something in nose rings? - Hm?
Nothing too expensive. I know a little kid in the Congo.
She gets restless.
FRANK: Dave?
DAVE: Yeah. FRANK: Oh, come on in.
Just have to lock up the safe.
Be with you in a minute.
- It's a pretty fancy layout you got here. - Oh, thanks.
Oh, this is my secretary, Miss Barclay.
This is my wandering brother, Dave.
- How do you do, Mr. Hirsh? - Miss Barclay.
Well, all set.
Apres vous.
- Bye, Miss Barclay. - Goodbye, Mr. Hirsh.
FRANK: Here we are right here.
FRANK: Well, we had a terrific fight to push it through.
I'm on the City Appointing Commission, as you know.
And for a while it was touch-and-go.
It would mean a great deal to the town. Should bring a lot of business.
That girl, uh, very attractive.
- What girl? - Your secretary.
I never really noticed. I make it a rule not to, uh... with employees.
If you're getting any ideas, forget them.
She's strictly a nice girl.
- All girls are nice, brother. - Yeah.
You'll get no argument from me there.
Oh, uh, this is a funny question to be asking your own brother...
...but you're not married, are you?
- Nope. - Well. Guess we'll have to find you a girl.
Swell. Tonight soon enough?
[FRANK LAUGHING]
Made up your mind what you're gonna do now that you're out of the Army?
- Sure. Never to go in it again. - Hm.
Lot of opportunities in a small town, Davey...
...but me, if I was starting out today...
...l'd head for one of the metropolitan centers.
More room at the top.
- You hinting I leave here? - No, no, no, Davey boy.
What I meant was that a man ought to pick his spot...
...not go wandering all over the world.
- Isn't that what they told Columbus? - Yeah. Ha-ha-ha! And he never died rich.
[FRANK LAUGHING]
Well.
- Home sweet home. - Holy.
DAVE: It's the old Carmichael place.
FRANK: Yeah. We fixed it up a little.
[DAVE WHISTLES]
I guess Agnes must be taking all of this pretty big, huh?
Oh! Oh. I meant to tell you...
...she's on this women's committee for the Parkman Centennial.
They're having a dinner meeting tonight, and, uh...
You mean, uh, Agnes is not gonna be here?
Well, she did her best to make it, but you know how these things are.
Such short notice. She was real broke up about it.
- Oh, yes. I can see where she would be. - Mm.
AGNES: Dave.
This is quite a surprise.
Yeah, for me too.
Well, still the same handsome rascal.
Why can't you keep your figure, Poppy?
Oh, well, I'd have had a flat stomach too...
...if I didn't have such flat feet.
[FRANK AND AGNES CHUCKLE]
You haven't changed a bit, Agnes.
Oh, what a liar. Come on in.
And tell us everything that's happened to you.
Am I keeping you from your meeting?
Oh, that committee meeting. I was just telling Dave about it.
Oh, that. No, they'll just have to manage without me.
Where's Dawn? Wait till you get a look at your niece, Dave.
You can tell how he hates that girl.
- Dawn. DAWN: Yes?
AGNES: Dawnie?
Dawn. Well, here's your Uncle Dave.
Well, kiss him. He's your uncle.
- Hi. - Hi.
I wouldn't have recognized him. He doesn't look at all like Daddy.
I hardly know you.
Last time I saw you, you were stark naked in your bathtub.
Oh, Dave, you rascal, you're making her blush.
- Not me. - Come on in, Dave.
Why didn't you let me know you changed your mind?
Shh!
Gee, I wish I didn't have a date tonight, Dave.
I tried to break it, but this boy isn't home.
DAVE: Sweetie, nobody ever broke a date to be with her uncle.
She's going out again on a school night?
- Just to an early movie. - But it's with Wally.
Oh, oh, oh, real nice boy.
Now, don't you keep him up too late, understand?
AGNES: I'll bet Dave would like a drink. - No, thank you.
Of course he'd like one. Will you fix them?
Orders from headquarters. Oh, you want one too, Mama?
Oh, maybe just one. It is a rather special occasion.
I hope you like Manhattans, Dave.
Mm-hm.
Poppy's famous for his Manhattans. Only, one's my limit.
Oh, not tonight. Tonight, you're among friends.
AGNES: Oh, now, Poppy, you've got to promise...
...not to let me have more than one drink.
I get giggly.
[FRANK CHUCKLES]
I like my girls giggly.
Dave, you remember Robert Haven French and his daughter Gwen, don't you?
- I don't think so. AGNES: They're on the faculty...
...at Parkman College. They're coming to pick us up.
- We're going to the club for dinner. - The Frenches?
Yes, they called as soon as they heard Dave was in town.
Gwen French couldn't have been more flattering. She's, uh...
- What does she teach, Dawnie? - Creative writing and criticism.
AGNES: That's it. She says she's read every word you've written.
[DAVE GRO ANS]
AGNES: What's the matter?
Oh, Agnes, the literary crowd gives me a pain.
I quit writing. Look, can't we do this another night?
- Would you mind? - Why, don't be silly. Of course I mind.
We've waited too long to have an evening with you.
The Frenches are well worth meeting. They're really an old family.
- Oh, Poppy, how about those drinks? - Oh, the boss wants service.
- Mama, will you give me a hand? - Bob French owns all that land...
...between the river and the reservoir. They're really wonderful people.
You might have told me the Frenches were coming.
Agnes.
You're lucky I'm even speaking to you.
I envy you, Dave.
You do? Why?
Well, you left home on your own before you were my age...
...lived your own life, had experiences.
Girl couldn't do that.
Why would she want to?
Bumming around, doing all sorts of jobs. Didn't that help to make you a writer?
Dawn, honey...
...bumming around can only help make you a bum.
FRANK: Well, well, well, the old hearth and fireside.
Family all together. Nothing like it, eh, Davey boy?
DAVE: Mm-mm. Nothing.
[DOORBELL RINGS]
That's Wally.
Now what we've got to do is to get you settled down, Davey.
Put your money to work. I wanna see you save some real dough.
- Wally boy, how are you? - Good evening, sir.
AGNES: Hello, Wally. - Mrs. Hirsh.
Wally, this is my Uncle Dave.
Wally Dennis.
Uh, how are you, sir?
- Not bad. - That's fine. Fine.
Haven't we met before?
I don't remember, sir.
- L, uh... You ready, Dawn? DAWN: One sec.
- Good night, Dave. - Good night, kid.
- Will I see you before you go? - I don't see why not.
[DOORBELL RINGS]
AGNES: Oh, that'll be the Frenches.
Good night.
Ahem. Good night, sir.
Say, you'll get a big kick out of old Bob French.
BOB: Dawnie, Wally.
Bob, how are you? Let me have your hat here.
Dave, I don't suppose you remember Professor French?
I do. I caddied for him and he never gave me less than a dollar.
Wasn't that to keep you quiet about my score?
- And I kept quiet. - Thanks.
Oh, uh, you remember my daughter Gwen?
- Hello. - Oh, I'm sure he doesn't remember me.
I was a few grades behind you in grammar school.
I'm an admirer of yours, Mr. Hirsh.
DAVE: Until people know me, they usually are.
Oh, I meant as a writer. That's why I wanted to meet you.
But I'm not a writer. I haven't been for years.
Well, I'm not sure I agree with you. The fact that an author is inactive...
...that doesn't necessarily mean he isn't an author.
Exactly what it does mean?
I suppose it could mean he should get back to work.
[AGNES, FRANK AND BOB LAUGH]
DAVE: I'm told that you teach creative writing.
- Yes, I do. - Would you like to teach me?
[BOB AND FRANK LAUGH]
She needs that. Give her more.
I'm afraid my courses are filled for this semester. Perhaps next year.
Say, are you folks ready for some elbow-bending?
BOB: I am. - Elbow-bending.
He's used to talking down to traveling salesmen.
- Sweetheart, our guests are intellectuals. BOB: What are intellectuals?
DAVE: Underpaid.
[BOB AND FRANK LAUGH]
BOB: No, thanks.
Did you suppose this costume will be all right at your club?
AGNES: Why not? It's the uniform of your country.
FRANK: A toast. A toast.
Let's drink to the return of the conquering hero.
AGNES: When was the last time you had it? FRANK: In Dijon.
[APPLAUSE]
That's the first time I ever danced with a teacher of creative writing. I like it.
Well, look, isn't the table this way?
Yeah, it is, but I thought we might go to the bar.
- Do you mind? - Not at all.
[FRANK LAUGHING]
Frank, I like your brother.
Oh, he's a fine boy. Glad to have him home.
Yes, we're hoping he'll stay.
You know, it isn't immediately apparent...
...but he's an extremely sensitive man.
- He sure is. - It must be a family trait.
Frank is like that. Terribly sensitive.
DAVE: Sir.
You know, I've watched every step of your career with a great deal of interest.
You must have a lot of spare time.
I could tell from your stories where you were and what you were doing.
I remember when you were working on that freighter.
And when you were working in the oil fields.
No.
Then I think it was in 1 940 we lost track of you.
Oh, the suspense is killing me. Don't stop now.
Seriously, your first novel was more or less autobiographical, wasn't it?
- I thought it was more or less lousy. - Well, that isn't so.
It might have lacked something in craftsmanship...
...but it's a really powerful study of rejection.
Oh, that it was. It was rejected by 42 publishers...
...and almost all of the English-reading public.
Now, look, I told you once before, I'm not a writer.
You have two books in the Parkman Library.
And those two books have netted me exactly $48.
- No personal satisfaction? - Forty-eight dollars' worth. Sir.
- Still brandy? - No more for me, thank you.
- Straight Scotch. BARTENDER: Yes, sir.
I don't believe that talent can be turned off as though it were a faucet.
- Make that a triple, will you? - Do you always drink this much?
Only when I have money.
[BAND PLAYING]
I'll just have this one...
...and then we'll get into action again, huh?
Well, I'd rather talk, unless dancing is one of your passions.
No, my passions are pretty conventional.
- When I spoke of your talent, I was... - You overlooked one thing.
A little talent to a writer...
...means just about as much as a little talent to a brain surgeon.
You underrate yourself. Your second novel was the best book I've ever read.
- Miss French. - Yes?
Why don't we get out of here and go someplace?
Or would your father object?
I would.
We should get back. I had no idea it was so late.
Gwen, no kidding. Let's get away for a couple of hours.
What did you have in mind?
Since you were so interested in my writing...
...I thought you'd come to the hotel with me.
I have a story there that's incomplete. I thought you might like to see it.
Mr. Hirsh, if you have a story, I'd very much like to see it.
Why don't you bring it out to the house? Any time, our door's never locked.
DAVE: I may not be here too long.
GWEN: Don't get up. BOB: We haven't seen you two.
Agnes, I'm sorry, I have to leave. I still have papers to correct.
AGNES: Oh, what a shame. DAVE: Say, could you drop me off?
GWEN: Well, my fa... - I think I'll stay a little while longer.
- Frank could drop me. - Sure, sure.
GWEN: All right. Good night and thank you. ALL: Good night.
Good night.
Where do you want me to drop you?
- I don't. - I must. I really do have papers to correct.
I like the way you do your hair.
I have a feeling you're running away from something. Or after something.
Of course, you'd have to know which it is before you could discover what it is.
You also got fascinating eyes.
I have a theory that writers create to compensate...
...for some lack in their personal lives.
That's because we need to be stimulated.
[DAVE SNIFFS]
- That smells good. What is it? - It's a bug repellent. Do you like it?
Mr. Hirsh, I know my eyes are not fascinating.
I wear my hair this way to please the school board.
If you wanna flatter me, I've only one good feature: my mind.
You'd be on safer ground.
Who wants to be on safer ground?
Where should we go?
When I suggested there might be a lack in your life...
...I wasn't offering myself as compensation.
No, but that's a peachy idea.
Why don't we just go park somewhere and talk it over?
Mr. Hirsh, do I look like a delinquent teenager?
No, you don't, teacher.
- Who's the man in your life? - What man?
Oh, I just assumed there must be one. Or is it just no interest in me?
Well, you know I have an interest in you. In your talent.
I mean that. I wish I could influence you to start writing again.
Good, then we'd become pen pals.
Well, I would like to...
I started to say "stimulate you."
But I would like to help you if you decide to start writing. I'm a good critic.
Would you mind dropping me at the corner?
On my head, please.
[JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING IN BAR]
Thanks for the lift and the analysis.
- Good night, Dave Hirsh. - Good night, teacher.
GINNIE: Hello.
- Hello there. - I didn't leave.
- I believe you. - Beat it, soldier.
Oh, sit down, will you, stupid?
This is Raymond Lanchak from Chicago. Remember him?
You know what? He followed me all the way from there.
- How are you, pal? - Keep moving.
Your friend's got bad manners.
Look, you slugged me in Chicago when I wasn't looking.
Now, blow, or I'll wipe the floor with your uniform.
Not only would that be unpatriotic, but you might get hurt.
- I'm just reminding you this is my girl. - Are you?
Raymond, will you please cut it out?
I'm not his girl. I'm not his anything. He bought me a couple of drinks.
- Yeah, what about the coat? - You want it back?
Pay no attention to him, Dave. Like I told you, he's just a big pest.
I can go out with anybody I want to.
In that case, you stick around. I'll see you later.
Look, if you want my advice...
I don't.
[MUSIC PLAYING ON JUKEBO X]
Look, Ginnie, I don't want no trouble.
There's a bus leaving at 1 1:1 0.
- Lots of luck. I hope you get a seat. - I'm telling you again.
- Don't fool around, you understand? - Will you do me one favor? Go home.
Cards, pair of deuces.
Possible straight.
Ace of diamonds. Ace of spades.
Seven of clubs. Deuces bet.
Oh, pair of deuces is gonna bet just $2.
MAN 1: Call. MAN 2: I'll stay.
MAN 3: Well, here's where I find out if I'm yellow.
Are you?
I'm yellow.
I'll play. Cards.
- Three deuces. - How about that?
Ain't that a kick in the head?
Noting. Nothing.
Pair of sixes.
Three deuces makes a bet.
Well, since you're all my friends, I'm just gonna bet, uh...
...$25.
- Oh, he's being charming. MAN 1: Beats me.
MAN 2: I've had it.
DAVE: You say the limit is, uh...?
Well, don't you worry about the limit, Dave.
You just go ahead and make your own limit. Bet anything you like.
All right, I'm gonna see that bet.
I owe you 25 plus 1 50.
MAN 2: Oh-ho!
Could have a third six, you know.
DAVE: Possible. MAN 2: Mm-hm.
Hundred and fifty, and... You know what "and" is?
- Yeah, I got it. - And a hundred and fifty.
MAN 3: Hey, that's a mighty sweet pot.
MAN 4: Too rich for me.
I think it could use more sugar. You said anything, didn't you?
Anything at all.
I owe you 1 50 plus 500.
[MAN 2 WHISTLES]
I'm topping at 500, Mr. Dillert.
Oh, that makes a real nice pot, don't it?
MAN 1: Sure does.
Fellas, I think he's got the third six.
Now, there's a clever poker player, I say.
- All yours, Dave. - Your deal, Bama.
Hey, fellas, wrap it up, will you?
The sheriff just came in. You never can tell about that guy.
Well, if the sheriff would have got here sooner, I'd have been a much richer man.
MAN 2: That's the way she goes.
Dave, you handle yourself pretty good.
Tell me something, Bama.
How'd an old pro like you find your way to a hole like this?
Me? Oh, I was just driving through town.
Had a flat, had to stop.
- Car in front of me hit a train. - Mm-hm.
It could have been me.
So I figured something wanted me to stay in Parkman.
And you know, I've been doing all right here.
I believe you are.
[WOMEN SHOUTING AND LAUGHING]
How about a little relaxation?
You know these dames?
Well, who don't? That's the night shift from the brassiere factory.
Hey, Rosalie.
ROSALIE: Hi, handsome. BAMA: Come here, honey.
ROSALIE: I'll be right back.
She got a friend. A pig, but not too bad.
- Rosalie, honey, say hello to Dave. - Hi, how are you?
DAVE: Hi, baby. - Sit down, hon.
Come on, join us.
Oh, uh, excuse me, I think I see one of my own friends.
- How about a drink? - I'd love one.
DAVE: Hello there, Miss Chicago.
Well, I didn't think when you told me to stick around you meant half the night.
- Where's lover boy? - Who, Raymond?
He went to get a room.
You know, he actually thinks I'm gonna meet him there. Ha-ha-ha!
Boy, is that the creep in for a big surprise.
DAVE: Hey, Smitty. SMITTY: Yeah?
You know...
...I don't want you jumping to no conclusions about me and Raymond.
You know, just because a person carries a torch for a person...
...that don't mean that the two of them...
- You know what I mean. - Oh, I do. I do.
Actually, he's one of the reasons why I was kind of glad to get out of Chicago.
- Wanna know the other one? - What?
- I really shouldn't tell you. - You don't have to tell me.
It's because I think I could fall for a guy like you.
Me?
A cute-looking kid like you? With such class?
With such a fine mind?
Oh, get out. You're pulling my leg.
How many drinks you had, Dave?
I had a few, why?
You know the only time you talk nice to me is when you're loaded?
Let's get loaded.
Here.
Compared to this morning, I do look pretty good, though.
- You look fine. - I had a wave and a shampoo.
In the barber shop. Only cost a dollar. They did a pretty good job.
Yeah. Say, speaking of jobs, don't you have to get back to yours?
Oh, the job I got I can always get.
I work in a... You know, club.
It's sort of a hostess.
Oh, I'll bet that's a fine, intelligent and interesting job.
It really is.
The only thing, though...
...I drink too much, and the first thing you know, you get bloated.
Well, life fluctuates, you know.
Yeah.
Like I was saying, what I really wanna do is modeling.
But you gotta have a figure like a boy.
Yeah. And that you haven't got.
BAMA: You all mind if we join you?
Oh, back it right in here. Come in here. Come on.
Ain't you gonna introduce us? I'm Ginnie Moorehead.
I'm terribly sorry. This is Bama Dillert, and this here is Rosalie.
ROSALIE: Hi. DAVE: Ginnie.
Does he wear his hat in the presence of ladies?
- All the time. - He even sleeps in his hat.
I'll bet.
That's a fact.
- What's the idea? - Well, I got a theory.
I learned a little while back that certain conditions bring a gambler luck, you know?
And... Oh, thank you. And this here hat's one of them.
Every time I take this hat off, something bad happens.
I ain't about to have that happen again.
Yeah. You know, I felt the exact same way about a black cat I had once.
And I never once let it sleep with me.
How about that?
I've been waiting.
Keep on waiting, Raymond.
- Come on. - Will you take your paws off me?
- All right, steady, pal, get out of here. - I'm talking to her.
Now, why don't you do what he says?
You're making a big mistake, buddy.
DAVE: Sure, sure.
GINNIE: Oh, he's such a weirdie.
You know something?
He followed me here all the way from Chicago.
What for?
- Aren't men terrible? - Ain't they, though?
- Look, let's drink up and all go to my place. - What's doing there?
- Let's get over there and find out. BAMA: I'll go pay the check.
- Smitty. SMITTY: Yeah?
BAMA: What do I owe you here? SMITTY: Uh, 2 dollars.
Ain't they coming?
- Yeah, it's a pretty night, ain't it? GINNIE: Yeah.
DAVE: Let's get some air, huh?
GINNIE: Raymond!
Oh!
DAVE: If I wasn't so tired, I'd kick your teeth in.
[GINNIE SCREAMS]
GINNIE: Call the cops! Call the cops!
[SIRENS APPRO ACHING]
BAMA: Oh, getting a little exercise, huh, Dave?
Come on, let's get in the car. Come on.
In the car here.
- Oh, hi, Sherm. SHERIFF: Hello, Bama.
Somebody been fighting?
- Yeah, but it's all over. - I'm afraid that's impossible.
- You start this? - No, I didn't.
He did. He started it in Chicago.
GINNIE: You've got a lot of nerve. I can tell you who started this.
- Don't tell me, tell the judge. BAMA: It was nothing at all.
- Look, there's been a formal complaint. RAYMOND: Why me?
- All I did was get a working-over. GINNIE: I can give you my word.
I know this gentleman. He's a no-good, dirty louse.
- He came at my friend here with a bottle. - Looks like they both had a bottle.
- Come on. - Listen, will you listen to me? I'm a witness.
Well, so you're a witness. Maybe you better come along too. Go on.
Welcome home, Dave.
Dave, don't worry about a thing, I'll be right with you.
[CAR APPRO ACHING]
[KNOCKS]
Come in.
Good morning, Mr. Hirsh. Or is it good afternoon?
FRANK: Is my brother here? - Oh, my new boarder? He sure is.
- Right in there. - Thank you.
BAMA: Door's open. I reckon he needs a little air.
[FRANK SCOFFS]
If you could just see yourself.
A good morning to you, sir.
That was nice going, Dave. I'm real proud of you.
One day in town, just one day...
...and you're picked up in a drunken brawl with a floozy and tossed into jail...
...like a common hoodlum. - I know all about it, Frank.
- I just don't understand you. - Is that your problem for this morning?
- What have you got against me? - Not a thing.
Oh, yes, you have. I take you to my home...
...I introduce you to the best people in town, like the Frenches.
And this is the thanks I get.
You seem to resent my position.
It's no crime to be successful.
I've worked hard for everything I've got. Nobody's helped me.
Is this gonna be another one of those long lectures?
Oh, I might have known.
Frank, I'm not trying to needle you.
I don't feel well. I got a headache and I have to be in court.
You won't have to be in court. I've squared it.
And that mobster friend of yours has already skipped town.
- You both forfeit bail. - Oh, thank you.
I didn't do it for you, Dave. I'm raising a decent girl.
That she is. She's a fine girl.
And I told the judge you'll be leaving town.
Did you tell him where I was going?
How do I know where you're going?
- How did you know I was leaving? - Aren't you?
Yeah, I guess so.
I wish I could say I was sorry, Dave.
I wish you could say so too.
Well, I suppose it'll be in all the afternoon papers. That's all I need.
Just when my name was beginning to amount to something.
How could you do this to me?
Me, me, me.
Don't you ever get tired of thinking about your dull, greedy, small self?
Now, get out of here. I'm tired of listening to you. Get the hell out of here.
[BOTTLES CLINKING]
Goodbye, Mr. Hirsh.
[CAR DOOR CLOSES] [CAR STARTS]
[CAR DRIVES OFF]
Man, you sure don't look pretty this morning, Dave. Wow.
You know what I don't figure?
You drink three drinks to my one and you look like a milk-fed quarterback.
Well, now, that all depends on what a man's cut out for.
I can drink and you can write. Oh, I know about them two books.
- Hey, Bama? - Yeah?
Looks like something died back here.
Oh, no. That's Ginnie's neck fur, you know?
That's an old female trick. They leave something so they can come back for it.
Ain't you about due in court? You better take my car.
No, I don't have to go to court.
My generous brother squared me.
But I could use your car, I'd like to get... Run downtown and buy some clothes.
Any time at all, old buddy.
Hey, Dave, uh...
...how would you like to make a pretty nice living without too much trouble?
- Doing what? - Well, team up with me.
I think we could get along.
- You mean gambling? - Sure. It's a nice profession.
And you're pretty good at it.
No, I'm just lucky.
Name me one thing you ain't supposed to be lucky at in life.
You take my old man.
He used to gamble when he was plowing up his fields, hoping for a crop.
Sometimes he'd get one, sometimes he wouldn't.
So I figure if a man's gonna gamble, he might as well do it without plowing.
No, I'm not gonna stick around here anyway.
And besides, how can you get any real action in a dump like Parkman?
Oh, this is just my headquarters. I make all these big towns around here.
It's a good idea, Dave. Then you'd have a lot of time to write.
Why don't you think it over?
I just did.
[KNOCKS]
Get that.
Hi. Golly, I hope I'm not breaking in on nothing.
It's right in here.
Oh. Thank you. They told me we don't have to go to court.
That's right.
Uh, I got some good news too, Dave. You wanna hear it?
I got a job here in town at the brassiere factory. Are you glad?
I'm ecstatic.
Honestly, Dave, every time you don't have a couple of drinks, you get mad at me.
Last night and in Chicago, you just couldn't have been sweeter.
And now, all of a sudden, you're acting like this.
Honey, I'm not really mad. L...
- I was just clowning. Couldn't you tell? - Of course you were.
You've gotta run along now because I've got a couple of things to do, okay?
Good luck in your new career.
Thanks.
I don't know what it is about them pigs...
...but they always look better at night.
DAVE: Yeah.
Is that some of your writing?
Yeah, if you choose to call it that.
Dave.
What a pleasant surprise.
- I was just driving by and I thought... - Come in. Come in.
BOB: Gwen, dear.
It's Dave Hirsh.
That's a Canaletto. I don't know one painter from another...
...but when I mention that name, people are impressed.
GWEN: Hello, Dave Hirsh.
How very nice.
- I hope I'm not interrupting. - No, we're glad you're here.
Let's go in the kitchen. It's our nicest room.
It's beautiful.
GWEN: Dad insists on keeping books in here.
The grease from the cooking is gonna ruin them. He's very obstinate.
- I heard that. - Well, where are you going?
Larry Channock is having some faculty men over for his watered-down cocktails.
- Didn't I tell you? GWEN: No.
I'll be quite late, Gwen dear.
Larry expects me for dinner, and you know his price. Cribbage.
Well, drive carefully.
Oh, Dave, there are plenty of extra rooms if you wanna stay all night.
- I'll show you the grounds in the morning. GWEN: I'll show him the grounds.
But of course, we'd love to have you stay.
I wish I could.
Uh, if you should decide on martinis, the vermouth's on the lower shelf.
Goodbye, Dave. Hope to see you often.
Goodbye, professor.
GWEN: Would you like a martini?
No, I don't believe I'll have any. But you go right ahead.
I'm having coffee. It's fresh and hot.
Coffee will be fine.
Tell me something... Just sugar, please.
What were you about to say?
Nothing much, except that you acted as though you didn't wanna be alone with me.
How perfectly absurd. What on earth led to that?
Because you seemed terribly disturbed when your father was leaving.
I was just a little annoyed with him. Poor darling. The only time he's awkward...
...is when he's scheming to leave me with someone he likes.
He's convinced himself I haven't enough friends.
- Have you? - No one has enough friends.
Excuse me.
- I guess you heard about my trouble, huh? - Oh, several versions. It's a small town.
I hear there's a blow-by-blow account in the afternoon paper.
There sure is.
Have a peek.
"Dave Hirsh home, is jailed after fight over woman."
Were you victorious?
- Drunk. - No, thank you.
Well, that would have been my guess.
Were you shocked?
Would you expect me to be?
I don't know.
Well, I'm not shocked, Dave Hirsh.
But I'm not indifferent either.
I hate to see a writer's energy wasted in drinking, fighting.
Any man as gifted as you are...
I brought you that story that I was telling you about.
From the looks of it, it's not exactly hot off the typewriter.
You got it right.
I did that some time ago and I never could work it out...
...till you showed some interest.
Well, what made you go back to it? My interest in your work?
My interest in you. I think I'm falling in love with you.
You fool. You must be a writer, you're such a fool.
I meant that.
Now, let's understand one thing, Dave.
I told you if I could help you with your work, the door's never locked.
Don't you think we ought to lock it?
Drink your coffee.
Apparently, you didn't hear what I said. I'm in love with you.
And I was avoiding the obvious comment that you said that...
...with the ease of a man who's said it often to an assortment of women.
- That's not true. - Shall we read your press notices?
They got it all wrong, Gwen.
I'd much rather discuss your story. What's it about?
DAVE: It's about love.
And I think I've learned a great deal more about it now.
Please, please don't.
Now, you sit down and let me clear away these papers and then I'll read your story.
You correct papers every night in the week?
Practically.
- Go on any dates? - Rarely.
How old are you, Gwen?
I have a question, Dave Hirsh.
- Do you like my dad? - I do.
You have a friendly relationship with him, haven't you?
Very friendly.
Then why can't you have the same kind of relationship with an intelligent woman?
Boy, I'm glad you're not a teacher of biology.
And if I were, I wouldn't confuse biology with love.
Well, let's walk on the grounds and I'll read your story.
DAVE: Hey. When you get finished with the pages, they'll make nice arrows.
- We can shoot them across the river. - Quiet.
Your girl went that way.
Dave. Dave.
It's that bad, huh?
Dave, you have a very exciting talent.
- You mean you liked some of that stuff? - I liked all of it.
The people are so real, so touching.
- You're kidding. - It's a lovely story, Dave.
I cried, and I don't often.
Well...
...maybe I'll try to finish it.
- But it's finished. - I don't know what you mean.
Well, the minute the girl leaves, the story's over.
There's nothing more to say. That's why you couldn't go on.
Of course. How about that? How come I never thought about that?
I'll have it retyped and send it to The Atlantic. I'm pretty certain they'll want it.
So help me, I didn't know there were women like you.
Dave, I have just a minor suggestion to make.
- I'll show you what I mean. - First, a thank-you kiss.
One hundred percent platonic, wasn't it?
- About 75. - Oh, I can do better than that.
Oh, Dave, let's talk about the story.
Don't. Don't, Dave.
Gwen.
Gwen, I truly love you. Don't you know that?
[HAIRPIN CLATTERS]
[GWEN WHIMPERING]
[HAIRPIN CLATTERS]
GWEN: Don't.
ANNOUNCER [ON RADIO]: And David Hirsh, brother of Frank Hirsh...
...forfeited $ 1 00 bail when he and a...
There it goes again. Every hour on the hour.
Well, we don't have to listen.
ANNOUNCER: ... to answer charges of disturbing the peace...
How long are you gonna let your brother disgrace us?
Oh, now, what can I do? Sweetheart, let's drop it, huh?
I've had a tough day.
What kind of a day do you think I've had? The whole town talking about this... This...
I've never been so humiliated. Next they'll ask us...
...to resign from the country club. - Oh, nobody's gonna ask us to resign.
Lots of families have black sheep.
Besides, you married me, not my brother.
You know something?
You're still the prettiest girl in Parkman.
Of course, there's a little more of you...
...but that just means there's a little more to love.
What do you say we go out?
Sort of relax, huh?
- What do you say? - Don't be silly, Frank. I've got a headache.
- Good night, Daddy. - Good night?
Good night, Mom. Don't worry, I've got a key.
- Say, where's she going? - Out.
Oh, thank you very much.
Do you mind telling me where she's going and who with?
I don't know.
What do you mean you don't know? You're her mother, aren't you? Dawn.
If it isn't too much trouble, would you mind telling me where you're going?
Oh, just for a drive with Wally.
If it was anything special, you know I'd tell you.
[DOORBELL RINGS]
- There he is. AGNES: Satisfied?
If I ran my business the way you run this house, we'd be bankrupt.
Your business? You seem to forget it was my father's store.
Forget? How can I forget?
You've been reminding me twice a day for 1 8 years.
[FRANK SIGHS]
I'm going out.
[THUMP]
Oh, why, Mr. Hirsh, you... You frightened me.
What are you doing here so late?
EDITH: Oh, there...
There are a lot of back orders. It's always quieter at night.
I don't like you working so late. It doesn't look right.
I don't care what the people think, Mr. Hirsh.
Besides, I'm almost through.
You're through right now, young lady.
Home you go.
Yes, sir.
Well, I suppose the night must be just beginning for you.
- Oh, it's great to be young. - So they tell me.
What's the trouble? Have a fight with your boyfriend?
You mean Ed Remick?
Oh, I stopped seeing him a long time ago.
- Young men can be such bores. - Ho-ho!
There must be plenty of others waiting to take his place.
- Aren't there? - Sure, hundreds.
Edith, I hope you don't think I'm being fresh or anything like that...
...but I got the blues tonight.
I was just wondering if we could drive around for a while.
Of course.
Beautiful night.
EDITH: Mmm.
Oh, that feels good. My back's tired.
Ha-ha. No wonder, sitting behind a desk all day, working at night.
You know, what I should do is take you across my knee and paddle you.
Working's better than sitting home alone.
You're an attractive girl, you ought to have more fun.
All work and no play, you know.
[CARS APPRO ACHING]
Matter of fact, you're an exceptional girl.
I've met lots in my time, and I know.
Take an old man's advice, Edith.
Have fun while you're young.
You're a long way from being old, Mr. Hirsh.
Well, I'm older than I'd like to be.
Especially when I'm...
When I'm sitting next to an attractive young girl like you.
Wally, please, let's go home. I told you I don't wanna park.
It always leads to the same old teachers' argument.
We don't have to have that argument.
You heard what I said.
What's the matter?
l... I will have that drink.
Sure.
No, I really don't want it. Wally, take me home.
- Dawn. - Please, Wally, take me home.
- Any calls? - No, she didn't call.
DAVE: Oh.
- I bought that car I was telling you about. - Oh, good. Then you're fixing to stay, huh?
Got myself a steady boarder.
I don't expect to sign a lease.
Where are you going?
Terre Haute, Indianapolis.
For a little relaxation, maybe a little profit.
You wanna come along?
No, I don't think so.
You know, the boys in Terre Haute, they don't set no limit.
We could do ourselves a little good.
I think I'd better stay.
Dave, now, you ain't acting like no grown-up man.
You wanna see your little schoolteacher, don't you?
Why don't you get on over and go see her?
She said she'd phone me.
Well, I don't pretend to be no authority on dames...
...but there's one thing I sure do know.
They either take orders or they give them.
And once they get an idea they're running menfolks, they get mean on you.
And how have you been?
Well...
...in case you change your mind about the trip, I ain't leaving till midnight.
[SOFT MUSIC PLAYING ON RADIO]
[DOORBELL RINGS]
Dave.
Are you busy?
- I am, as a matter of fact, but come on in. - I've missed you.
That's a very attractive jacket.
Gwen, you said you'd telephone.
Well, I've been swamped with examination papers, Dave.
Would you like a drink? Is it still coffee?
DAVE: Nothing, thank you.
GWEN: We should be hearing from The Atlantic soon about your story.
Gwen.
What's the matter? You're acting like you're 1 2 million miles away.
I don't know what happened. The last time we were together, you seemed to...
I haven't forgotten.
I suppose you're sorry, huh?
Let's not talk about it, Dave.
I think we should talk about it.
You're a bright girl. This is important to me. I'm in love with you.
I don't want you to be in love with me. Don't be, please.
- That was a foolish thing to say, wasn't it? - It was pretty foolish.
- Don't you understand what I'm trying to...? - Please.
Dave, haven't I made it clear I don't want this relationship?
Well, what kind of relationship do you want?
Now, don't act like a little boy who's been slapped.
You know how much I'm drawn to you and how much I admire your talent.
Forget the talent, let's get to the point. You don't love me, do you?
I think I do. I'm not sure I want to.
- Would you like to make that clearer? - I'm not a schoolgirl, I'm a schoolteacher.
I've waited a long time. You mustn't hurry me.
Your kind of violence, it frightens me.
What are you afraid of?
Well, it... It isn't easy to put these things into words.
Intellectually, I can understand and even envy a little your way of living.
But emotionally...
Well, emotionally, I'm a rather commonplace person.
Who isn't? Look, I've quit drinking.
I've changed. I know I haven't changed to a hundred percent, but I have.
- Oh, Gwen. - Dave.
Do you wanna marry me?
Is that curiosity or a proposal of marriage?
No. It's just a question that has only two answers.
There's also a third.
I don't know yet.
Oh, Dave, we've met exactly three times. What do I know about you?
What do you know about me?
I just know that I'm the kid who wants to marry you.
Gwen, it's something I want more than anything else in the world.
We'll have no more of that. I'm not one of your barroom tarts.
You're right, teacher. You're a hundred percent right.
I've been a bad boy.
I've been naughty. Matter of fact, I don't even belong in your class.
Quite possibly you don't.
Well, you won't get a chance to flunk me again.
[DOOR CLOSES]
Bama. Bama?
Bama.
I told you it's her birthday.
I got a cake in the oven.
- Ain't you even gonna give us a drink? - You know where it is.
ROSALIE: Sure.
GINNIE: Oh, Dave. Whoo!
We thought you was never coming back.
- You got a roommate. When do we leave? - Any time at all. Didn't make out so good?
- Let's get started. - You going someplace?
DAVE: Yep. - Yep, Terre Haute. The party's over.
- Oh, take us, will you? - Dave, please take us.
Oh, please, we can tell the factory girls we've been sick.
- Please, Dave. - Oh, come on, it's her birthday.
- Congratulations. - Thank you.
Can we go? Can we?
Ooh!
Dave?
- It really ain't. - What ain't?
It ain't my birthday. I just said that.
- Why? - Oh, you know, everybody does that.
Maybe have a little party, get some perfume or something.
I shouldn't have said that to you, though, Dave. L...
I really shouldn't have pulled a thing like that on a fella like you.
Come on, help me pack.
Okay.
- These? - No, they hurt.
[JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING]
Agnes, I don't know what else we can do.
We've got to call the sheriff's office.
And have it all over tomorrow's paper?
FRANK: I don't want to either, but do you realize what time it is?
Look, just what did Wally say?
I've told you three times. He hasn't seen her. He doesn't know where she is.
I don't know what's come over that girl.
- Ever since your brother got here... - Will you stop it?
Say, you didn't have a fight with her or anything, did you?
Now, why would I have a fight with her? Honestly.
[PHONE RINGS]
Hello? Oh, yeah.
- Fine, fine, fine. - Who is it?
- Uh-huh. Yeah. - Who is it?
Uh-huh. Yes. Mm-hm.
- Frank. - Excuse me a minute.
It's Edith, she's been making phone calls. Dawn's okay.
She's been in Terre Haute. A friend of Willy Packer's saw her there.
- Yes. - And what's fine about it?
- What's she doing in Terre Haute? - Please.
Uh-huh. Thank you. Thank you very much, Edith.
I don't suppose you can talk now, can you?
I understand. Good night, Frank.
[BAND PLAYING JAZZ MUSIC]
[WHISTLES]
[SONG ENDS] [CROWD APPLAUDS]
Oh, yeah, baby. Easy. There, easy now.
Good, sit down. Easy.
- What happened to her? - Good girl. You all right, honey?
- Yeah, you're all right. - Cigarettes.
Okay. Smoke up, force yourself to have fun.
That's a girl. Mmm!
There you go.
There we go.
Are you sure you don't want me to check your hat?
What hat, lady?
[BAND PLAYING "AFTER YOU'VE GONE"]
Oh!
What? What's the matter?
Oh, Dave, it's that song. I just love it. It's so sad.
- Bama, don't you think it's sad? - Yeah, gets me right here, sweetheart.
There. All right? That's better?
[SINGERS SINGING] [GINNIE SINGING LOUDLY]
- Beautiful voice, isn't it? - She been studying, you know.
Yeah. Speak up. Beautiful?
[GINNIE SINGING]
[MAN SHOUTS]
Hey, buddy, get that dame away from the band.
DAVE: Shh.
Look, I don't want any trouble. Are you gonna remove her or are we?
What do you mean, are we gonna...?
Dave, if there's gonna be an argument about Ginnie's singing, I'm with him.
Yeah, I'm with him.
Who you with, baby?
Come on, baby, let's dance. They don't appreciate your singing in this joint.
You appreciate my singing, though, don't you, Dave?
[GINNIE SINGS THEN STOPS]
I promised I'd never ask you for nothing...
...but just so as I'll have a remembrance of this trip...
...will you buy me one of them pillows over there?
Sure I will. Come on.
Hey, lady.
- Give her one of those pillows, will you? - No, not that.
Ohh.
Ain't nobody never been this sweet to me before, Dave.
And you're sober too. Practically.
Sure.
- You know what Rosalie heard? - No, what did she hear?
She heard you had a yen for that schoolteacher, Miss French.
- Is that true, Dave? - No.
- Dave, you can always... - Let's sit down and get a drink.
The best in the house. Thank you.
[DAWN GASPS AND GIGGLES]
Cigarettes.
[WHISPERING INDISTINCTLY]
[DAWN LAUGHING]
- Two stingers. - Oh!
[DAWN LAUGHING]
[SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]
Hello, Dawn.
Oh, I...
I'm sorry. This is Teddy, uh...?
Harperson.
- Won't you sit and join us? We... - What are you doing here?
We've been doing the town. Been just about everywhere.
I'm sorry, this is my uncle, Dave Hirsh, the writer.
- Oh, how are you? - You two know each other long?
- Well, no. Actually... - We just met today.
Teddy is a traveling salesman.
[GIGGLING] And I am the farmer's daughter.
Goodbye, Mr. Harperson.
- Oh, you're leaving? - No, you are.
Wait a minute.
- Look, I think you've got me wrong. We're... - She's just a kid.
- I'm 1 8. - I said goodbye, Mr. Harperson.
Don't you pay any attention to him, he can't do this.
Dave, don't spoil things, I'm having fun.
Oh, sure. You're having a jolly time.
- Look, uh... - Walk.
Come here. Give me the coffee.
- It's for the other table. - Get some more.
- Yeah, but l... - Get some more.
Oh, of course.
DAVE: Move over.
- Does your father know where you are? - No.
I don't know where he is either.
- Doesn't that strike you funny? - No, it breaks me up.
Hey, Ginnie.
[SONG ENDS] [CROWD APPLAUDS]
- This is Dawn, my niece. - Oh, hello.
DAWN: My head aches.
- Maybe you can get her a cold towel, huh? - I don't want a cold towel, I feel miserable.
Oh, well, honey. That's because you're crocked.
Oh, a kid your age really shouldn't drink so much.
Come on.
You get her straightened out and I'll take her out to get a little air later.
DAVE: One-way to Parkman.
Don't judge your father too harshly, sweetie.
Sometimes when a man aims high, he can miss.
- I don't wanna talk about it. - Well, then let me talk about it.
I know you're trying to hit back at your dad.
But who are you really hurting?
And what are you gonna prove by becoming a tramp?
I'm not gonna become a tramp.
It doesn't take long, honey.
Couple more goons like that guy who picked you up back there and a little booze, and...
Well, I ought to know, I'm an expert on tramps.
I can't live at home.
Living at home isn't so bad, kid.
I'm gonna get a job in New York.
Oh. Well, look, do me a favor and don't do anything until I get back.
You promise?
I promise, but you won't change my mind.
Milton, Delford Junction, North Oaks and Parkman.
I'm sorry if I upset you.
Upset me? Don't be ridiculous.
You make me feel like one of the family.
It's a new feeling to me and I like it.
- Be a good girl. - Thank you.
Bye, kid.
GINNIE: Is she okay? - She's fine.
[BAND PLAYING]
- When do you figure on going home? - What?
Any time you say, Dave.
- How about after Indianapolis? - That's fine. That's great.
Hey, you know, you should have seen him with his niece.
Oh, golly, he just couldn't have been sweeter.
- Niece? - Well, she is his niece.
- Bama's my uncle. - She is too his niece.
Turn if off. I'd rather listen to the singing.
- Baby, how about another drink? ROSALIE: I'd love one.
FRANK: Dawn, is that you? - Yes.
- Do you know what time it is? AGNES: Is she here? What happened?
Where have you been?
- Terre Haute. - Who with? Where'd you go?
To some nightclubs with no one you know.
- Good night. - Good night?
- Dawn, we wanna know what... - I'm tired. I don't feel like talking.
Good night.
Dawn.
Dropped the cards like you're out.
- Playing? - I'm in. I'm in, Dad.
BAMA: Okay. - I call.
- I'm out. How many cards? MAN 1: Three cards.
- How many? - I'm out.
How many?
- Two beauties. MAN 2: Two beauties.
You got them. How many?
[PHONE RINGS]
- Same two beauties. MAN 2: Two beauties.
That's my call. I'm out.
- Give me the top. MAN 2: One on the top.
Hello.
Hello? Yes? Just a minute, please.
- It's Indianapolis. - I'm still out.
Will you hold on for just a minute, please?
Gwen, dear, I will not say you're out.
Dave has called twice.
And besides, you've something to tell him now.
I'd rather you told him.
Now, Gwen, darling.
I know you've had a quarrel, and it's made you unhappy.
Do you think you'll be happier if you never see him again?
Hello? Yes, this is Miss French.
Hello?
Hello, Dave. We have some very exciting news for you.
The Atlantic took your story.
Five hundred dollars.
Is that right? Hey, that's fine, isn't it? That's great.
But I got a couple more important things I wanna talk to you about.
I suppose I haven't talked to you because I had nothing to say.
Dave, I've been so confused and troubled...
...and now I'm not anymore.
Just talking to you...
...l'd forgotten how warm and deep your voice is.
Oh, yes, I've missed you.
I have missed you.
It's astonishing how much.
When?
I'll be here.
Good night, Dave. Thank you.
Good night, baby.
MAN 3: Aces up.
Three nines.
Oh, happy day. You did it again.
Yeah, a little lucky.
You guys must be a couple of grand ahead, huh?
- Oh, more or less. - You always play together?
Mostly.
Two of you are pretty lucky.
I think we need a new deck.
Tell me something. That phone call.
Something very interesting?
For me, yeah. Why?
No reason at all, except, uh...
...made me think of a gambler I used to know in Philly.
This guy had a pretty cute gimmick.
He used to sit in a card game...
...a buddy of his would go out and call him on the phone and guess what.
He'd tell him what every guy in the game was holding.
Makes you think, doesn't it?
Yeah, I'd say he was a dishonest bum.
You know something? He was.
- Charlie, I better straighten you out about... - You just take it easy.
This fella here's the heavy loser tonight, and I reckon he's entitled to be a bit stupid.
- Now, who could have phoned? - Deal.
Well, let's say the waiter.
- The waiter? - Yeah, he was in here, wasn't he?
- He could have cased everybody's cards. - Yeah.
Now, mind you, I didn't say that he did.
BAMA: Mm.
- You never take that hat off, do you? - Nope, never take it off.
Why?
He got a little shortwave radio he's got sewn in the hat.
And it gives us back signals to what you bums are holding. Why?
Do you know something?
This creep could be kidding on the square.
Let's just take a look, huh?
All right, back away from the dough.
BAMA: All right.
Don't like nobody to touch my hat.
Now, pick it up.
DAVE: Pick it up and put it on his head.
[MAN 3 GRUNTS]
All right, beat it. Beat it.
Move, sweetie, get out of here.
- You all right? - I don't know. Where's my hat?
- Never mind your hat. Get up here. GINNIE: I'll get it.
- Oh, those dogs. - Get that.
Go back to Parkman. I'm gonna take him to the hospital.
- Ain't there nothing we can do? - Do what I told you.
- I don't like nobody to touch my hat. - Put your arm around me. Come on.
- Here's your coat. DAVE: Good call.
Easy now.
[ROSALIE WHIMPERING]
Mr. Dillert.
I never heard of anyone sleeping with a hat on.
BAMA: Well, ma'am, you heard it now. It brings me luck.
That's a pagan superstition.
Yeah.
It sure is, ma'am.
[KNOCKS]
Come in.
Oh, how do you feel, old buddy?
How do I feel, old buddy, huh?
How would you feel, strangers busting in here day and night...
...turning you over, feeling under the covers?
Boy, they sure get familiar around here in a hurry.
- Is he being a tough patient, Sister? - While she was trying to get my hat...
...I was teaching her how to deal a second-top-card first.
Not teaching me, Mr. Dillert, showing me.
- Please don't stay long. - I won't.
Wanna know something funny? She was beating me.
The Lord's on my side, Mr. Dillert.
So you finally got here, Dave. Sure took you a long time.
They only allow visitors in the afternoon.
Well, you just better get yourself hustling and get me out of this flea trap.
Why?
Why? I don't trust them sisters.
What do you mean, you don't trust them sisters?
They stole my clothes. Ain't got a stitch here.
[DAVE LAUGHING]
Those are doctor's orders. They take everybody's clothes.
- He's the only man that can get them back. - Get me the doctor.
Why don't you just ring that bell?
It ain't no good no more. I got mad and I busted it.
Dave, you got me in this here bed, now get me out.
Okay, I'll go talk to the doc.
- Oh, hello, doctor. - Hi.
I want my pants, doc.
I'm afraid we're going to have to keep you here for a while, Mr. Dillert.
Now, what is this? A hospital or jail?
It's not a question of legality. It's a question of professional responsibility.
You're a sick man, Mr. Dillert. Not from the knife wound, that was slight.
But we discovered quite accidentally that you have rather an advanced case...
...of diabetes mellitus.
I got what?
Diabetes?
I noticed there was considerable alcohol content in your blood test.
How much whiskey do you drink in a day, Mr. Dillert?
- That's a pretty good question. - Oh, I don't rightly know.
- Maybe a fifth, maybe less. I don't know. - Maybe more.
Course, you'll have to stop drinking, Mr. Dillert.
Alcohol adds an enormous amount of sugar to the blood.
You need treatment, Mr. Dillert. Immediate treatment.
You mean it's that serious?
The rate Mr. Dillert is going now, it's more than serious.
All right, you've done your duty, doc.
Now, you just tell me what to do to get out of this place...
...without busting down that door and I'll be obliged.
I'll, uh, send up a release for you to sign.
Pardon me.
Can you tell me where I can find Miss French, the teacher?
Second floor. I believe it's Room 21 3.
Thank you. Is, um, she teaching class now?
The period will be over in a few minutes.
Now, we have time for a few more questions.
Wally?
Miss French, do you think that Emile Zola was immoral?
No, I don't at all.
Even when writing about depraved people, his attitude was essentially moral.
But he had a mistress, didn't he?
GWEN: You'll have to take that up with Mrs. Zola.
[STUDENTS LAUGH]
Why do you ask?
WALLY: Well, a friend of mine believes that literary men have, well, different standards.
But it seems to me that if it's all right for them, it should be all right for anybody else.
Well, I don't agree with your friend, Wally.
But it is true, I believe, that good writers feel more deeply than the rest of us.
They have greater appetites for life.
If I'd known Poe, I would undoubtedly have been repelled by his drinking...
...but I would have tried to understand him.
Just as I would have tried to understand Dr. Johnson for his gluttony...
...de Quincy for using drugs, and Baudelaire for his neurotic promiscuity.
They were big men. Big in weakness, bigger in strength.
[BELL RINGING]
[STUDENTS CHATTERING]
- Are you Miss French? - Yes.
I'm Ginnie Moorehead.
You don't know me, but I know you. Least I know about you.
Uh, I'd kind of like to talk to you about something.
GWEN: Well, what can I do for you?
Gee, you don't look like a schoolteacher.
Thank you. I assume that was a compliment.
Oh, sure.
Uh...
- May I sit down? - Of course.
You won't tell Dave I've been here, will you? He'd skin me alive if he knowed I was.
Is he a friend of yours?
Yeah.
I'm not gonna take up much of your time, Miss French.
But he's coming back today, and there's something I just gotta know.
Are you gonna marry him?
- Am I what? - I gotta know how things stand, that's all.
- Well, I'm not sure I can... - Miss French, let me explain.
You see, I think he's in love with you.
And if you're gonna marry him, then I'll clear it out.
But if it's just one of them things...
Are you from Chicago?
Yeah. Yeah, did he tell you about me?
No, I read the papers.
Oh. Oh, golly, wasn't that terrible?
I knewed I shouldn't have come...
...but, oh, I'm very crazy about him, you see, Miss French.
And this is the God's truth. I want him to have what he wants.
Even if it means you instead of me.
I assume Mr. Hirsh discussed me with you, otherwise you wouldn't be here.
That's not so. Oh, he never said nothing.
I kept asking, but he never said nothing. Here and in Terre Haute and Indianapolis...
...but he never said nothing. - You were on that trip?
Yeah.
Oh, but he ain't in love with me, Miss French.
I wish he was.
I'd give my right eye if he was.
I never felt like this about nobody in my whole life.
He just touches me and I fall apart.
[CRYING]
I do wish you wouldn't cry.
Whatever you may have imagined, or whatever Dave...
...himself may have told you...
...there's absolutely nothing between Mr. Hirsh and myself.
I've helped him with his writing, nothing else.
Consequently, I'm not your rival.
Ohh.
Oh, Miss French, I'm glad I come, then.
Oh, I was so scared.
You don't know how scared I was.
Because I knowed you could take him away from me if you want to.
Because I ain't rich or smart like you.
Haven't got nothing.
Not even a reputation.
I'm sure you have a reputation, Miss Moorehead.
Well...
...that's one thing don't bother Dave none.
I don't like to be rude, but my next class is coming in now.
Oh, I'll go. You ain't sore at me for coming?
In a way, I'm grateful.
Grateful?
I don't know why, Miss French...
...but thank you.
Thanks awfully much.
Now, you won't say nothing, not to nobody, will you?
Nobody.
- Ohh. Goodbye, Miss French. - Goodbye.
[MARCHING BAND PLAYING]
[CHILDREN SHOUTING]
Man, this town sure is jumping on all fours.
"Parkman Centennial, 1 848-1 948."
Man, it took them a hundred years to build this burg?
That's a waste of time.
Why don't you knock that stuff off?
Come on, Dave. Man, I don't want any arguments.
I've been living a certain way all my life, and I ain't about to change it.
Don't be a damn fool. Remember what the doctor told you?
Just watch your diet and keep taking those shots and you'll live a long life.
Why don't you stop this, huh?
You're gonna keep on doing this, and I'm gonna lose a friend.
And I ain't had so many friends that I can afford to lose one.
- You give me no choice. - It ain't your right to choose.
That looks like my niece.
Dawn.
Run along. I'll pick up my car.
- Can you make it with one arm? - Yeah.
How's my favorite niece?
Just fine. I got a job in New York with a publisher.
Well, I'll only be the office girl, but isn't it wonderful?
I think it's great. What do your parents think?
Well, about what I expected, but they'll get over it.
Dave, could you give me a minute, please?
I have some friends in New York that I'll phone.
[DOOR OPENS]
Look, Dave, I've taken about all I'm going to take from you.
And it's not just that knifing brawl and...
Did you bring me here for another lecture? Because if you did...
- Lower your voice. - I have no secrets.
Shh. Come on back here. This is important.
Edith, if you don't mind.
I think you should stay, Miss Barclay. This little gathering may interest you.
All right, Edith.
Okay, Dave, I'm not going into this latest disgrace of yours.
Of course, it's in all the papers, but never mind, we'll forget about that.
Thanks a lot.
I got a couple of things I'd like to talk...
You advised Dawn to go to New York, didn't you?
- I did not. - Don't give me that.
Before you got here, she...
Well, you don't know what this means to me, Dave. You're not a father.
That's true.
So if I hurt anyone, I hurt myself.
But a father, that's different.
If he's a hypocrite, he ought to be a good one and not get caught at it.
FRANK: What are you getting at?
DAVE: That very strict rule that you told me about.
Never getting involved with your employees.
FRANK: Well, what about it? DAVE: It's a damn good rule.
Particularly if you're bringing up a fine, decent young girl.
- Are you suggesting...? - I'm saying it, Frank.
This is a small town, and what I know, Dawn could easily also know.
Let's face it, that's no good.
- Mr. Hirsh, l... FRANK: Don't listen to him.
He's no good now, he never was, he never will be.
If you're through with your lecture, I'll leave.
I'm sorry, Miss Barclay...
...but I happen to be very fond of my niece.
[DOOR CLOSES]
Frank, I'm... I'm gonna leave Parkman.
Oh, now, now. Don't get excited.
He was probably just guessing.
- I'm sure he was guessing. - No.
Oh, Frank. Why didn't I meet you first?
I've often thought about that.
I don't know whether you realize this...
...but when I married Agnes, you were just 4 years old.
If you don't need me any longer...
...I think I'll go home and pack.
BOB: Oh, Dave, come on in. - Hello, professor.
We have a very pretty check of yours, and a fine letter from a most discerning editor.
- Congratulations. - Thanks.
But we owe it all to Gwen. Where is she?
BOB: You have every reason to be enormously proud, dear Dave.
DAVE: Have you told her I've been phoning?
I'm afraid she won't be with us this evening.
I'm very sorry. Here's your letter.
Oh, thunderation.
How I envy people who can tell little lies with conviction.
She may feel differently tomorrow or the day after.
I know she doesn't wanna see me, but if I just knew why.
Dear Dave, first let me mix you a martini that's pure magic.
It may not make one's problems disappear...
...but it does reduce their size.
But where is she? She must be somewhere.
I'm afraid that's of very little consequence, dear Dave.
She seems quite determined not to see you.
Please don't ask me why. I have no right to interfere.
She's upstairs, isn't she?
- I'll go see her. - I couldn't stop you.
- You're younger than I am. - Thanks.
Gwen. Gwen, I'm coming up.
Gwen?
Where are you? You're gonna talk to me.
Gwen?
Doesn't this strike you as just a little crude?
Yeah. Now, tell me what kind of a game you're playing.
I'm not an authority on games or the people who frequent them.
- Lf you're thinking about the gambling... - This is my room. I did not invite you in.
Okay, okay, I'll apologize later.
Now, look, I just went away with Bama because you kept ignoring me.
- Lf it means that much to you... - It doesn't mean that much.
It doesn't at all.
- Lf you don't mind, I'd like to finish this. - What the devil's happened to you?
When you were on the phone with me, you were...
- What made you change? - Don't look for tragic implications.
- I've simply come to my senses. - You mean you've lost your senses.
Good night, Dave.
Gwen, I'm in love with you. You said you were with me.
Don't handle me, Dave. Your hands on me are not in the least persuasive.
Look, just do me one thing. Just tell me what's eating you.
If we discuss it, you could be wrong.
I said good night.
Gwen.
Why don't we cut this out? This is a very...
If you put your hands on me again, I swear I'll call the police and have you thrown out.
I don't like your life. I don't like your thinking.
I don't like the people you like. Now, leave me alone. Stay away from me.
- What are you doing here? - Waiting for you.
Why?
Well, you know that magazine with your story in it?
It's on sale down at the drugstore.
- I'll run down and buy one. - You can't. I bought them all up. Ha-ha.
I got one more left.
You know, everybody's been congratulating me today.
Really, what for?
Because I'm a certain friend of yours.
Oh, golly, all the girls at the factory have been shaking hands with me.
Been signing autographs all day.
- You've been what? - Signing autographs, yeah.
I write, uh...
I write, "I hope you like it." And I sign my name.
- Pretty good publicity, don't you think? - Get it through your head...
...that nobody signs their name to a story that somebody else wrote.
But, Dave, you sign your name to a book you send somebody for Christmas.
Look, stupid, you had nothing to do with the writing of this story.
I'm your girlfriend.
That's something else I wanna discuss with you. You're not my girlfriend.
I bought you drinks, we had laughs, I showed you around...
...but you're not my girlfriend.
- Everybody thinks I am. - I don't care what they think.
You haven't got the brains or the willpower to sit down and read this story.
You can't talk to me like this.
I can't, huh? You haven't got enough sense to come in out of the rain...
...unless somebody leads you by the hand.
That's only because you'd go anywhere with anybody.
Dave.
Oh, Dave, you really should not have talked to me like that.
Aw, forget it.
- Hey, this is sure one hell of a story, Dave. - Thanks.
Something bugging you?
Yeah, it's this place, it looks like a rat's nest.
Why don't we get somebody to clean it?
You suppose we could get that Ginnie Moorehead to keep the place clean?
You kidding? She can't keep herself clean.
Oh, by the way, when's the wedding?
- What wedding? - What wedding?
Dave, just between you and me, that little old schoolteacher of yours...
...you know, she ain't too good an influence.
You know ever since you give up drinking, you've been impossible, boy?
Dames.
What do you think you're doing out there?
GINNIE: Sitting.
That's ridiculous. Come on in.
Come on inside.
GINNIE: All right.
But you got no right to talk to me the way you did, Dave.
I'm a human being and I got as many rights and feelings as anybody else.
Okay, so you're a human being.
Just because that teacher don't want you...
...don't give you no right to take it out on me.
Will you please forget it, Ginnie?
You're still in love with her, ain't you?
No, I'm not.
Yes, you are. I can tell.
Look, I'm not in love with anybody.
Dave.
Dave, be in love with me.
Oh, I love you so much.
I never met anybody like you before in my whole life.
Oh, I love you so awful, awful much.
Don't cry, Ginnie, don't cry.
I'm sorry if I hurt you. Forgive me, I didn't meant it. I'm terribly sorry.
You know I'd do anything for you, Dave.
I'd do anything, ask me.
Would you, uh...?
Would you clean up the place for me?
- Oh, could I? - Sure.
Oh, sure. Oh, I'd love to.
Oh, why, sure. Oh, I'd love to.
I'll tell you what I'll do. I'll come every day before work.
You just call me.
But you gotta remember, I'm human.
I'll bear that in mind.
"And before he was aware of it...
...he was lost.
There wasn't much time left...
...and he realized that he would have to return over familiar ground...
...running to reach the point at which he could start all over again."
Is that the end?
- Did you like it? - Oh, golly. I liked it fine, Dave.
I really liked it a lot.
- That means not very much. - No, honest, I really liked it a lot.
Golly, just think you can put those words down on paper like that...
...and all I can do is hem brassieres.
You know, it really makes me feel like a terrible failure.
- What did you like about it, Ginnie? - Everything.
Like what?
Well, l... The people.
- What people? - All of them.
Okay, so you like all of the people, but what did the story mean to you?
Well, it means a lot.
- Well, then tell me what it's all about. - Well, Dave, don't get mad.
Every time I open my mouth, you get mad at me.
You don't understand a word of what I said. You don't understand the story.
No, I don't, but that don't mean I don't like it.
I don't understand you neither, but that don't mean I don't like you.
I love you.
But I don't understand you.
So, what's the matter with that?
Ginnie.
- What? - Will you marry me?
What?
Marry me, now, tonight.
Oh, Dave.
You really shouldn't kid around about a thing like that.
Oh, please, Dave, not with me.
You don't know how it hurts me.
I'm not kidding, Ginnie.
Oh, Dave.
Oh, I hope you're not.
Oh.
I think I'll want that more than I want anything in the whole wide world.
- I don't know what to say. - Just say you will.
Oh, Dave.
Yes.
GINNIE: Bama. - Well, who loused up my house?
Bama, guess what. You'll never guess it in a hundred million years.
BAMA: What, what? - Dave and me, we're gonna get married.
BAMA: Oh, that's nice. DAVE: No, we really are, Bama.
You off your rocker?
Bama, you got no right to say that.
Look, all due respect to Ginnie, but you ain't really gonna marry this broad?
I am. Tonight.
- I don't know if you're crazy or... - Bama, please, he wants to marry me.
- You got no right... - I'm trying to talk to Dave.
- We don't need your advice. - Be a good girl and shut up.
You might as well get used to it, she's gonna be my wife.
Man, this just don't make sense.
I got nothing against Ginnie. Nothing at all.
- But even she knows she's a pig. - All right, that's enough of that.
Come on, go home and put something nice on...
...and I'll call the judge and then come by and pick you up.
Bama. Bama, please don't spoil it for me.
- Please, Bama, it'd just kill me. - He won't spoil it, honey.
I never been so happy in my whole life.
Oh, boy.
I could use a best man.
Well, it sure ain't gonna be me.
I don't know what went on between you and that schoolteacher...
...but you just went and blew your top.
You ain't really gonna get hitched up with that dumb pushover?
Now, nobody would do that.
Don't you like the way she cleaned up your place?
You ain't gonna marry her for that.
No, I'm not.
I'm just tired of being lonely, that's all.
And the way she feels about me, well...
...nobody ever felt that way about me before.
And besides, maybe I can help her.
I sure can't help myself.
But the fact remains, she's still a pig.
I told you I'm gonna marry her, so knock off the language.
Really made up your mind, didn't you?
Yeah, I'm gonna phone the judge and have him set it up tonight.
All right. In that case, I just lost myself a friend.
I got no use for anybody that stupid.
[CARNIVAL MUSIC PLAYING]
[CROWD LAUGHING AND CHATTERING]
JUDGE: Then I pronounce you man and wife. Congratulations.
- Is that all? - That's all.
- We're married? JUDGE: Tight as a drum.
This'll prove it to any room clerk.
The Hirshes.
- Good evening. FRANK: Good evening.
EDITH: I thought Dawn was taking a later bus?
It, uh, seems to be the last one.
It'll be nice to have company.
Yes, won't it?
Dave.
Bama should have been here.
Well, he was busy, I guess.
I don't know why he don't like me, Dave.
I guess there's no sense in beating a dead horse.
Dave?
I'm gonna make you a good wife, Dave.
A really good wife.
You're not gonna be sorry.
I believe you.
Dave?
Can we go to Terre Haute on our honeymoon?
We can get a motel. It wouldn't cost too much, and we can cook in.
I don't care where we go, baby. I just wanna get out of Parkman.
And can we go by my place first?
I'd kind of like to...
...pick up my pillow and take it with us.
Remember the one you bought me?
I remember.
And can we go by Smitty's for just one beer?
I'd like to see the girls. They're expecting it.
They bought some rice.
Bama, what are you doing here? I thought you was the best man.
They're coming back to say goodbye. You want some rice?
- He didn't come in here, did he? - Who?
What's-his-name. Ginnie's old friend. That hood from Chicago.
He heard she got married. He's looking for Dave.
- Oh, he's full of talk. - He's got a gun and he's crazy drunk.
What's he aiming to do?
Kill Dave, he says. He's crazy. I tried talking to him...
...and he pulled a gun on me. - You stay here and I'll try and find Dave.
Okay.
BARKER 1: ...and advertises sponsors' products.
Have it free. There you go, have it free. Have it free.
They're all free. Have it free and have it free.
All right, ladies and gentlemen, step up right and close.
We have a lot of souvenirs and a lot of free prizes for you.
All we ask is...
Haven't you noticed I've been talking lately much better?
- Oh, yes, much. - I got one of them, uh...
Them grammar books from the library. I got it from that teacher who...
Whom.
"Whom" is the objective.
- Whom says so? - Hm?
BARKER 2: One hundred and sixty-five pounds. Sit right down.
By golly, you beat me within a half a pound.
Here, take it out, pick your prize out. Who's next?
You don't really wanna go to Smitty's, do you, Dave?
- You said you wanted to go. - I don't wanna go if you don't wanna go.
We could stay here.
Will you make up your mind, Ginnie?
Okay, we better go to Smitty's. The girls said they'd be waiting.
[CROWD LAUGHING]
SALESWOMAN: Nothing to it all, it cuts your work right in half.
Here's another one. Cabbage for coleslaw.
Take a look at that. The finest little poached-egg salad you ever saw.
I'll bet the hen that laid that is still cackling.
One more use for this fine little slicer: french-fried potatoes.
You like them, I like them, your mother-in-law likes them.
Everybody likes french-fried potatoes.
[GUNSHOTS]
[SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]
[SIRENS APPRO ACHING]
For as much as the spirit of the departed hath returned to God who gave it...
...we therefore commit her body to the ground.
Earth to earth, ashes to ashes...
...dust to dust.
"The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want.
He maketh me to lie down in green pastures.
He leadeth me beside the still waters.
He restoreth my soul.
He leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his namesake.
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death...
...I will fear no evil, for thou art with me.
Thy rod and thy staff, they comfort me.
Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies.
Thou anointest my head with oil.
My cup runneth over.
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life...
...and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever."