AT&T球场 旧金山巨人队主场
我操 无所谓了 Fuck. Yeah, it doesn't matter.
你没事吧 理查德 You okay there, Richard?
对 没事 Uh, yeah, I'm fine.
抱歉 我投球没办法更慢了 Sorry, I can't really throw it any slower.
再试一次 理查德 Give it another cut, Richard.
不用了 没事 我不想试 No, I'm fine. I don't want to.
说不定有人想试 下一个谁来 Maybe someone else wants to. Who's next?
如果必须有人去击球 那我来 If someone has to go, I'll go,
但真挺吓人的 but it seems very frightening.
你确定 我们整一小时的任务就是陪你们 You sure? You got us for the whole hour.
有人吗 如果没人想来你们会难过吗 Anyone? Would it hurt your feelings if no one went?
女士们先生们 Ladies and gentlemen,
欢迎来到斯坦恩·泰勒基金年度秋季经典赛 welcome to the Annual Stern-Taylor fall classic.
首先让我们为这位 I'd like to start by making a toast
非常特别的客人干杯 to our very special guest tonight,
他就是理查德·亨德里克斯 Richard Hendricks.
理查德 你几周前 Richard, after your perfect game
从'科技博客'创业展会捧回大奖后 at Techcrunch Disrupt a few weeks ago,
我们就爱上了你和你的技术 we fell in love with you and your tech.
我们知道全硅谷的人都想为你投资 Look, we know everyone in the Valley is after you,
我们也知道你可能会选彼得·格里高利 and we know that you're probably going to go with Peter Gregory,
但我们仍很希望你能成为我们的一员 but we'd love to have you come play on our team.
让斯坦恩·泰勒基金为你们注入第一轮融资 Let Stern-Taylor Capital Fund in on your series A financing,
因为只要我们齐心 理查德 就能够 because together, Richard, we'd be...
打出全垒打 a home... run!
-是嘛 -你怎么想 理查德 -Oh, right. -What do you say, Richard?
我会尽我所能 I'll--I'll do what I can.
好的 All right.
大家好好玩 Have fun, everybody.
斯坦恩·泰勒基金
我说不清 伙计 这些基金 I don't know, man. It's starting to feel weird
都在追捧我们 感觉好怪 letting all these firms suck up to us,
即使我们根本就不准备接受他们的投资 even though we're not gonna take their money.
理查德 彼得·格里高利 Richard, Peter Gregory
还并未正式给我们风投协议 hasn't officially given us the term sheet yet.
对 但他明天回来之后就会给 Yes, but he will tomorrow when he gets back.
如果你连这么多人 If you can't enjoy this many people
拍你马屁都接受不了 kissing our ass at this level,
那你真是没救了 then I feel sorry for you.
你就不能放轻松 好好感受一下吗 Would you just relax and take it in for a second?
我们可是在AT&T球场接受众人膜拜 I mean, we are getting our dicks sucked at the At&t Park.
我们正站在美国职棒大联盟总冠军的主场上 We're standing on the field of the World Series Champions.
-我完全激动不起来 -我也不在乎 -It's totally lost on me. -Yeah, I don't give a shit, either.
我叫妮可·斯坦 I'm Nicole Stein.
是斯坦恩·泰勒基金成长团队的主管 I lead the growth team at Stern-Taylor.
-我叫迪尼希 -我叫吉尔弗约尔 -Oh, I'm Dinesh. -I'm Gilfoyle.
名字超棒 那你们在魔笛手做些什么 I love it. So what do you two do at Pied Piper?
我是技术总监 I'm the CTO.
他在说笑 我才是技术总监 Ha ha, he's joking. I'm the CTO.
去你的我在说笑 Fuck you, I'm joking.
你怎么可能是首席技术总监 Okay, how could you be the Chief Technology Officer?
我明白了 你听到"总监" I get it. You hear the word "Chief,"
就想到了"印第安酋长" and you think "Indian Chief."
但你不是印第安人 But you're the other kind of Indian.
第一 操你妈 我是巴基斯坦人 Okay. One, fuck you. I'm Pakistani.
第二 你这种人怎么可能当技术总监 And two, how could you be CTO of anything?
技术总监要善于组织大家 You have to be able to organize,
指派手下 并且要 you have to be able to delegate, and you have to be--
我指派你去给我拿瓶啤酒 I delegate you to go get me a fucking beer
让我跟妮可好好说会话 while I talk to Nicole.
我是乔治·席尔瓦 George Silver,
斯坦恩·泰勒基金的运营合伙人 Operating Partner at Stern-Taylor.
你们在魔笛手都做些什么 So, what do you do at Pied Piper?
他是我们的技术总监 He's the CTO.
那是德鲁·休斯顿[Dropbox创始人之一] That's Drew Houston.
我们已经眉来眼去了二十分钟 We've been circling each other for the last 20 minutes.
那是温克莱斯双胞胎 The Winklevoss twins.
看看他们 简直就是芭比老公的加强版 Look at them. They're like two genetically enhanced Ken dolls.
你知道他们身价有多少比特币吗 Do you know how much bitcoin they're worth?
该死 他们分开了 Oh, shit, they're splitting up.
卡麦隆是那个左撇子 对吧 Cameron's the left dominant one, right?
我分不清他们 I can't tell them apart.
我得从右侧接近他 I'm gonna come at him from the right side,
在不被他们察觉的情况下把他们赶到一起 try and herd them back together without spooking them.
瞧好吧 卡麦隆 卡麦隆 Watch this. Cameron! Cameron!
看看 看看是哪位大人物这么屌炸天啊 Okay. Well, well, well, look who's the big swinging dick.
贾维德 '顾利拜'运营还顺利吧 Hey, Javeed, everything okay at Goolybib?
那你得问他们 我被踢出公司了 You gotta ask them. They canned me.
-什么 -我们的金主 -What? -Yeah, our investors got spooked
被估值较低的一轮融资吓尿了 by a possible down round,
他们就随便出个收购价打发了我 so they shoved an acquisition down my throat.
对 出价两亿美元收购 不是吗 Yeah, an acquisition of $200 million, right?
是啊 他们都没什么事 Yeah, they all made out.
我签的反向保护协议并没有触发条款 I had a reverse vest with no triggers,
然后我被开除时就丢掉了所有份额 then I lost all my shares when they fired me.
租那房子花光了我所有签约奖金 I blew my whole signing bonus renting that house.
我准备去告他们 I'm looking into suing 'em.
-老天 -我要说的就是 -Jeez. -Look, all I can say is,
别被耍了 don't get fucked, all right?
如果你没找对金主 You take money from the wrong dudes,
你就会落得跟我一个下场 and you'll get smoked as bad as I did.
万事小心 所有人的目光都在你身上 Just be careful. Everyone is watching you now.
是啊 我知道 谢了 贾维德 Yeah. Totally. I know. Thanks, Javeed.
不 我是说所有人现在都在看你 No, I mean they're watching you right now.
是吗 Oh yeah.
该死 摄像头在哪 Damn it. Where is that camera?
第
二
季
第
一
集
硅
谷
真是不敢相信我们收到了这么多礼物 I can't believe how many gifts we're getting.
礼物是寄给我的 Gifts I'm getting.
那个虚拟3D眼镜是送给技术总监的 That Oculus rig is addressed to the CTO.
不 我才是技术总监 No, I'm the CTO.
作为你的主管 我命令你把眼镜给我 As your superior, I order you to give me that Oculus.
你没法命令我 你又不是我的上司 You can't make me do stuff. You're not the boss of me.
-实际上我就是你的上司 -得了吧 -Actually, I am the boss of you. -Okay.
理查德 告诉他我是技术总监 Richard, tell him I'm CTO.
是你亲口告诉那个肥佬 我是技术总监的 You already told that fat guy that I'm the CTO.
住口 住口 都停下 Stop, stop, stop. Please stop.
我有一堆工作要做 你们也有工作要做 I have a ton of work to do. You have work to do.
有那时间让我们多干点活少抬杠 Maybe let's do the work instead of that.
贾里德 我们今天应该会收到风投协议的 Jared, we were supposed to get a term sheet today.
彼得·格里高利那边有消息吗 Have we heard from Peter Gregory?
-彼得·格里高利死了 -什么 -Peter Gregory is dead. -What?
我操 Holy shit.
他是我所见过最睿智 最精明 He was the smartest, shrewdest...
也是最奇怪的人 strangest man I've ever known.
我不敢相信他已经走了 I can't believe that he's gone.
能问下到底发生什么了吗 Can I asked what happened?
他当时 Yeah. He was...
在塞伦盖蒂平原[坦桑尼亚西北部]探险 in the Serengeti on safari...
当他刚走进帐篷 and he had just gone into his tent
一头河马闯进了营地 when a hippo wandered into the camp.
他被河马袭击了吗 He was attacked by a hippo?
不 我猜河马开始攻击人群 No, I guess the hippo started to charge
导游就朝它开了枪 但是 when the guide grabbed his rifle and shot at it, but...
他打偏了 然后 his aim was off, and...
他不巧打中了彼得·格里高利吗 And he shot Peter Gregory by accident?
-对 -不 他没打中 -Yeah. -No, he--he missed...
但我猜枪声把彼得吓坏了 他就 but I guess the sound of the gun startled Peter, who...
跑出了自己的帐篷 ran out of his tent and...
刚好撞到了那头河马吗 Ran right into the hippo?
不 那河马也被枪声吓坏了 No, the hippo was also startled by the noise
在彼得出帐篷前 它就吓跑了 and had run off prior to Peter exiting his tent.
那彼得到底出什么事了 So, what happened to Peter?
他很久都没跑过步了 He hadn't run in a long time,
说不定一辈子都没跑过 然后他就 maybe ever, and you know, he just...
走了 that was it.
那真是太 奇怪了 Oh, that is so... very strange.
-太令人伤心 -令人伤心同时也很奇怪 -Very sad and tragic. -Very sad and strange.
再见 See ya.
伙计 这感觉真是太怪了 Man, that is so weird.
前一秒钟彼得·格里高利人还在这 I mean, one minute peter gregory is here,
下一秒钟他人就没了 the next, he's just gone.
贾里德 我是埃利希 Jared, it's Erlich.
你尽快帮我安排好与其他风投基金的会面 I need you to set up all the other VC meetings, ASAP.
把所有行程都排满 Line 'em up nuts to butts.
你在干什么 莫妮卡刚说他们仍会投资我们 What are you doing? Monica just said they're still gonna fund us.
我们耐心等着就行 We should just sit tight.
听着 我很欣赏彼得·格里高利 Look, I loved Peter Gregory
也许远胜他欣赏我 maybe even more than he loved me,
但有些事你得明白 but there's something you need to know here,
有一些莫妮卡没有主动告诉你的事 Something that Monica isn't exactly volunteering up,
所有这种一个老板的公司里都有关键人条款 And that's all of these one-man firms have a key man clause.
-你知道什么意思吗 -不知道 -Do you know what that means? -No.
意思是现在彼得·格里高利死了 It means that now that Peter Gregory is gone,
拉维加所有的投资人都有合同权利 All the Raviga investors have the contractual right
把投资套现走人 to cash out and walk away,
也就是说 有可能今天之后 which means that by the end of the day,
拉维加就不存在了 there may not be a Raviga.
-不是吧 -没错 所以我们得早做准备 -Seriously? -Yes, so we have to prepare for that.
我知道这么说显得我很过分 Now, I know that it makes me sound like a terrible person,
可这是为了公司好 but we have a company to run.
你知道谁会第一个同意我的观点吗 And do you know who the first person to agree with me would be?
彼得·格里高利 Peter Gregory.
激励
信任
想象
创新
这是我们纽核力公司 And that is the very first spot
一月六日国际消费电子展见
在今年一月的国际消费电子展上 in our new campaign heralding the upcoming release
将要播放的第一条广告 of Nucleus this January at CES.
-有问题吗 -我有个问题 -Any questions? -I have a question.
糟糕透顶 我刚在'科技博客'创业展会 That was horrible. I just got humiliated by a fucking teenager
被一个该死的90后侮辱完 at techcrunch disrupt,
然后你就给我看这种卫生棉条广告 and you give me this tampon ad?
-一个糖尿病妹坐秋千 -我看她得了癌症 -A girl with diabetes on a swing? -I think she has cancer.
我看着像癌症 At least that's how I read it.
我不在乎她得的什么病 I don't care what kind of disease she had!
我只关心纽核力要比魔笛手好 All I care about is that Nucleus is better than Pied Piper.
亨德里克斯抢走了我们的风头 Hendricks just left us all in the dust.
如果我们再错一步 If we get this wrong,
我们就要错失这个百年不遇的机会了 we could blow the business opportunity of a lifetime!
这是个数据大爆炸的时代 Data creation is exploding.
人们存在云端存了很多 With all the selfies and useless files
不肯删掉的自拍和没用的文件 people refuse to delete on the cloud,
全世界百分之九十二的数据 92% of the world's data
都是在过去两年里出现的 was created in the last two years alone.
按照这个速度 这个世界的数据储存能力 At the current rate, the world's data storage capacity
明年春天前就要爆了 will be overtaken by next spring.
那将是一场大灾难 It will be nothing short of a catastrophe.
数据不足 数据限额 数据黑市 Data shortages, data rationing, data black markets.
有人的压缩技术能够救世界于末日数据之战中 Someone's compression will save the world from data-geddon,
这一定得他妈是纽核力而不是见鬼的魔笛手 and it sure as hell better be Nucleus and not goddamn Pied Piper!
我不知道你们怎么想 I don't know about you people,
我不希望有任何人比我们 but I don't wanna live in a world where someone else
更能让世界更美好 makes the world a better place better than we do.
数据末日之战 他这么喜欢用这个词吗 "Data-geddon", is he married to that, or...
还是说最近就是有很多末日之战 there's just been a lot of "Geddons" lately?
没错 冰雪末日之战 飞车末日之战 That's true. "Snow-mageddon", "Car-mageddon".
还有个叫《世界末日之战》的电影 There's that movie "Armageddon."
劳里 你要见我吗 Laurie, you wanted to see me?
莫妮卡 进来 你应该已经听说 Monica, come in, come in. I'm sure you've heard by now
我被任命为执行合伙人了吧 that I've been named our new managing partner.
是的 恭喜 Yes. Congratulations.
有限合伙人们告诉你他们怎么作出决定的吗 Did the limited partners tell you how they made their decision?
他们看了每个高级合伙人 They looked at the portfolio performances
在最近几轮融资后的投资回报 of each of the senior partners over the last several funds,
我的表现明显是最好的 And my numbers were, objectively, the most favorable.
所以他们选了我 Therefore, I was selected.
对 执行合伙人 Yeah, it's just managing partner
要跟不同的人打交道 is all about meeting with people and interacting with people.
你想坐可以坐下 你想吗 You can sit down if you want to. Do you want to?
还是说我们应该站着 Or should we stand?
-我都... -我要站着 -Uh, I--whatever---I'm standing...
-好吧 -不过你可以不用 -Okay... -But you don't have to.
-好吧 -你觉得坐着会很怪吗 -Okay. -Would it make you feel awkward to sit?
我可以站着 I'm okay to stand.
-莫妮卡 -好吧 -Monica... -Of course.
彼得·格里高利死了 Peter gregory is dead.
是的 我知道 Yes, I know.
从私人角度看 这件事令人悲伤 On a personal note, his death is very sad.
可是从专业角度看 他的决定很不可取 But on a professional level, it's untenable.
我看了很多他的文件 I've been reviewing his files.
他投的好几个项目也太不靠谱了 He was pursuing a number of extremely dubious positions.
你知道吗 Are you aware
我们在摩洛哥有家价值三千万的鸵鸟场 that we own a $30 million ostrich farm in Morocco,
还是三家专门研究隐形技术的公司的 or that we are the majority stakeholders in three companies
大股东 that specialize in invisibility?
这还有一盒子写满字的纸巾 This box is filled with napkins covered with notes
详细阐述了彼得如何深信 detailing Peter's conviction that
转基因蔓越莓菌会像棉花那样大热 genetically-modified cranberry fungus would become the next cotton.
-这想法我记得 -没错 -That--that one I remember. -Yes.
莫妮卡 Monica.
彼得·格里高利已经死了 Peter Gregory is dead.
-是 -我们现在更得展现出竞争力 -Yes. -We need to seem competitive, now more than ever,
让投资者们看到 更要让整个业界看到 to our investors as well as to the industry at large.
'魔笛手'算是目前硅谷 Well, I mean, Pied Piper is probably
最抢手的早期投资项目了 the hottest early investment in town right now,
-至少我们还有他们 -真的吗 -and we have them. -Do we?
那他们怎么会跟其它公司 But why then are they speaking to other firms
-谈A轮融资 -不会吧 我刚告诉他们 -about investing in their Series A? -No, no, I just told them
耐心等几天 等我们处理好内务 to sit tight for a day or two until we sorted things out.
看来你这话显得我们态度不坚定了 It seems that that advanced a sense of uncertainty,
我们可能会失去他们的A轮融资 and now we're at risk of losing their round.
这将危害公司利益 This could jeopardize the firm
而莫妮卡 你作为助理合伙人 and, by extension, your career here,
在本公司事业也将受影响 Monica, as an associate partner.
-大概我当时还没缓过来 -莫妮卡 -Well, I guess I was just kind of in shock. -Monica...
彼得·格里高利已经死了 Peter Gregory is dead.
是 我知道 Yes. I know.
这感觉太棒了 This is great.
之前多少次拉投资 什么筹码都没有 Do you know how many times I've gone into these rooms
夹着尾巴就进去了 with nothing but a half of an ass in my hand?
这次可是带着 We're walking in there
一米长大老二 浑身亮粉来的 with three-foot cocks covered in Elvis dust.
-是吗 -理查德·亨德里克斯 可以进去了 -Really? -Richard Hendricks? They're ready for you.
-时过境迁啊 各位 -好了 走吧 -This is a fucking layup, guys. -Okay, let's do this.
你坐下 贾里德 Not you, Jared.
有了正式投资 我们就能及时开发出 Now, with proper funding, we should be able to put together
可运行测试版 赶上消费电子展示会 a functioning beta in time for CES
在市场上力压'纽核力'了 and compress Nucleus out of the marketplace.
还行 Yeah.
我也说不好 I don't know.
说不好 什么 You don't--what?
我就是觉得还不够成熟 It just doesn't seem worked out to me.
都成熟到在'科技博客'创业展会胜出了 Well, I mean, it was worked out enough to win TechCrunch Disrupt.
是 恭喜你们赢了五万美金 Yes, and congratulations, you won 50 grand,
但你们现在求的投资 是奖金的200倍 but you're asking us for 200 times that.
理查德 我们都听说了你们神奇的 Richard, look, we all know about your amazing...
压缩率 但这不是过家家 compression rate, but let's not be naive here.
对方可是全球最强的科技公司之一 You can't expect to just throw money at an algorithm
不是说往算法里投点钱就能打败的 and beat one of the largest tech companies in the world.
不如你回去再完善一下 So why don't you rework this a little
下次来谈能多点内容 and come back in with a little more?
下周怎样 Maybe next week?
-怎么样 -太奇怪了 -And? -That was really weird.
看来我们身上的亮粉没我想得那么多 I guess we don't have as much Elvis dust on us as I thought.
你看 所以我才说跟彼得·格里高利算了 You see? This is why I wanted to go with Peter Gregory.
这也太扯了 那家伙为我们大办派对 This is bullshit. That guy throws this huge party for us,
转头来却一副不稀罕我们的样子 and then acts like he doesn't even want us?
我根本都不喜欢派对 他还说 I fucking hate parties. And he's just,
下周多带点内容 我们再谈 "Come back next week when you have more."
多个屁 维斯曼评分都高达5.2了 More? More than 5.2 on Weissman?
没戏 No. No.
去他的 谁要他 谁他妈要靠这破公司 Fuck that guy. Fuck this place. Fuck this whole place.
-你看我去骂他们个狗血喷头 -别 等等 -Watch me fuck this place. -No, wait! Wait, wait!
你刚才不是让我有更多内容再来吗 Remember when you told me to come back when I had more?
我还答应了 我现在告诉你 没戏了 And then I said I would? Well, I'm not going to.
死也不回来了 这次不算 Ever. This doesn't count. OK?
老子浑身亮粉 一米长大老二 I'm covered in dust. I'm a three-foot dick.
而且还能夹着尾巴去别的公司 And I've got half an ass to go to some other company
找家不会把我投到大屏幕上 who's never gonna put me on a Jumbotron
也不会拿球砸我的 or throw balls at me.
拜拜 Bye.
你不舒服吗 需要摄入蛋白质吗 Are you feeling unwell? Do you need protein?
我也不知道怎么回事 I don't know what happened.
彼得死了 拉维加的投资又悬了 Between Peter dying and Raviga maybe being gone,
我只是 我只是希望拿到钱做魔笛手 I just--I just wanna get funded and build Pied Piper.
我真讨厌要钱 I hate this part.
有一点是肯定的 Well, if one thing is for sure...
如果要想吸引投资 我得使出更有力的招数 If we're gonna get any traction, I need to step up my game.
是罗恩·拉弗兰梅发来的邮件 It's an email from Ron Laflamme.
"刚收到斯坦恩·泰勒基金发来的风投协议 "Just got a term sheet from Stern-Taylor.
"他们投资500万 "They offered five million
"融资后估值2500万 "at 25 million post-money valuation.
"比我想的要多得多" "More than I thought."
可恶 他们故意唱衰我们 Shit. They were negging us.
-唱衰 -唱衰就是恶意差评 -Negging? -Negging is going negative.
是单身沙文主义者常用的把妹策略 It's a manipulative sex strategy used by lonely chauvinists.
你看 人人都想要我们 说我们坏话 See, everybody wants us. By shitting all over us,
就能降低给我们的开价 they try and bring our price down,
但你骂了回去 but you shitting all over them
抵消了他们的嘴炮 counteracted them shitting all over us.
你把他们反唱衰了 理查德 这是好事 You negged a neg. Richard, this could be good.
-接下来见谁 -罗斯·洛马资金 -Where do we have next? -Ross-Loma Capital.
要我继续吗 我要不要接着反唱衰 Should I keep doing it? Should I keep negging?
不用 交给我 No, no, I'll handle this.
如果他们想来硬的 If they want to negotiate using hostility and rudeness...
那他们可找错人了 Well, they picked the wrong guy.
是这样 我们最关心的 well, you see, our main concern
就是你打算 is how you're going to
怎么让你的增长速度超过逃逸速度 achieve escape velocity on your growth rate...
达到临界值 ...hit critical mass.
不好意思 您笑什么 I'm sorry. What--what's funny?
你身后那幅画啊 It's just that painting behind you.
丑裂了 It's awful.
简直就像小丑版的爱经 还玩砸了 It looks like harlequin Kama Sutra done poorly.
所以 我同意 So, I agree,
文化上适应不来 bad culture fit.
-我们还是算了吧 -那个 -I think we all just move on. -Look,
我根本没说关于文化适应的事啊 I didn't say anything about a culture fit.
你是没说 我说了 No, I did.
那好 Okay. Well...
多谢接见我们 Thank you for meeting with us.
我们接下来还排了一堆这样的会 We have a bunch of these things to go to,
希望他们艺术品味能好点 hopefully with more tasteful artwork,
而你们的商标看着像长歪了的阴道 and your logo looks like a sideways vagina.
种族歧视了吧你们 I find that to be racist, don't you?
-那我就说说我的关注点 -我也有关注点 -Okay, here's my concern---Here's my concern--
哪路神仙给你挑的这件衬衫 Who the hell picked out that shirt for you?
-什么 -啊 难怪 -What? -Oh, I see.
裤子是配套的 那看来就是 With the pants, so I guess it's a whole...
-成套的 -我妻子给我选的 -thing. -My wife picked these out.
那你的婚姻真是不幸 Then you married poorly.
你们关心魔笛手吗 Do you care about Pied Piper?
我关不关心魔笛手 我当然关心 Do I care about Pied Piper? Well, of course.
因为如果你关心的话 我可看不出来 'Cause if you do, I'm not seeing it.
其实我看到的是一只人形 In fact, what I think I'm seeing is the human equivalent
大丛包 of a "flassid" penis.
"怂包" 准确的发音是"怂包" "Flak-sid." It's actually pronounced "flak-sid."
很多人都念错了 Not a lot of people know that.
我们当然非常有兴趣 Well, we are definitely interested,
但我认为我们需要 but I think we need to...
不好意思 有什么不对吗 I'm sorry. Is something wrong?
你这 整个都不对 No, this is... all wrong.
我感觉到这里缺乏远见 I am sensing a general lack of vision.
你们的蛋糕难闻得要死 Your muffins smell like shit.
想法也好不到哪去 So do your ideas.
你们中有一位是我见过的最讨人厌的家伙 One of you is the least attractive person I've ever seen,
但我就不明说是哪位了 and I'm not gonna say who.
是我们走啊 还是你们走 Should we leave or should you?
刚有人出800万 融资后估值4000万 We just got offered eight at 40.
五发全中 先生们 We're five for five, gentlemen.
加维斯顿基金和杨特维尔风投基金也打电话来 And Galveston Capital Fund and Yountville Ventures called.
他们希望我们先去见见他们 They want to move their meetings up before everyone else.
让我也来一次 下场会我也要爆粗 Hey, let me try. I want to be rude at this next one.
好啊 Go for it.
所以只要资金到位 So, with some proper funding,
我们来得及在消费电子展示会上拿出测试版 We should be able to get a functioning beta in time for CES.
如果你们不投资 And if you don't fund us,
你们就是贱婊子 you're a fucking slut.
什么味道 Ah. What's that smell?
是屁味吗 你爱放屁吗 Is that a fart? You--are you a farter?
我能吃个点心吗 还是你们要把它们吃光 Now, can I have a pastry? Or are you guys gonna eat 'em all?
那样会胖的 'Cause you're gonna get fat.
不是你的错 理查德 It's not your fault, Richard.
这技巧没法学 This is just something that can't be taught,
下一家就交给我吧 so leave the next one to me.
我感觉接下来是条大鱼 I can feel a big one coming on.
-你要怎么做 -还不确定 -What are you gonna do? -I'm not sure yet,
但给我发挥的空间 but give me room.
我内心里有东西要发泄 There's something inside of me that has to come out,
憋回去不是我风格 and who am I to stop it?
他的蛋蛋 His balls?
他把蛋蛋放到桌子上了 He put his balls on the table?
-看的清清楚楚 -他故意的吗 -Right on the table. -On purpose?
应该不是偶然跳出来的 I don't see how it could be by accident.
理查德 我刚收到了大陆橡树的邮件 Richard, I just got an email from the guys at Midland-Oak.
显然我破了他们的底线 Apparently, there is a line, and I crossed it--
认为我们只值1200到1500万的底线 The line between $12 and $15 million!
大陆橡树刚发来了投资意向 Ba-bam! Midland-Oak's offer just came in.
先生们 我们的估值是7500万 Gentlemen, we are valued at 75 million,
充分稀释后的 fully diluted.
-你逗我呢吗 -你们来看这些条款 -Are you shitting me? -Take a look at these term sheets.
我的不可容忍度与估值的高度 There is a linear correlation between how intolerable I was
完全线性相关 and the height of valuation.
各位 这位是劳里·布里姆 Hey, you guys. This is Laurie Bream,
拉维加投资公司新的经营合伙人 the new managing partner at Raviga.
你好 我是理查德·亨德里克斯 Hi. I'm Richard Hendricks.
我知道 我看过你的照片 Yes. I recognize you from your photograph.
很高兴见到你本人 It's very nice to meet you in person.
好了 招呼也打过了 Yeah. Okay, so we did that.
先生们 我知道别的公司 Gentlemen, I am aware of the degree of interest
对你们有很大的兴趣 you are receiving from other firms.
我也知道参与你们这一轮的融资 I am aware that participation in your series a will require
需要一个非常有竞争力的报价 a very competitive offer,
但出于很多理由 but for numerous reasons,
我相信这是一个慎重的决定 I believe it to be the prudent decision.
我向你们 Now I am
提供这些 presenting you with this.
投资两千万 估值一亿 20 million at $100 million valuation?
我不... 这比别人的报价高好多 I don't, uh... This is way more than any other offer.
没错 故意的 Correct. That is very much intentional.
那应该满足了你们的需求吧 So, I believe that satisfies your requirements?
莫妮卡会安排时间正式确定细节 Monica will arrange a time to formalize the details.
谢谢 祝你们愉快 Thank you. Have a good day.
谢谢你 Uh, thank you.
好的 Yes.
太好了 Yes.
恭喜你们 我真高兴... Congratulations, guys. I am so glad--
见鬼 我得搭她的车回家 oh, shit. She's my ride home.
-再打电话 理查德 -好的 -I'll call you, Richard. -Yeah, okay.
谢谢你过来... Thanks for stopping...
等等 劳里 等等 Wait! Laurie, hold on!
伙计们 我们有资金了 Guys, I think we're funded.
-太棒了 理奇 -太棒了 -Yes! Richie! -Oh, yeah!
我把鸡鸡推到一边 解开最下面的扣子 So, I push my dick to the side, unbutton the bottom buttons,
蛋蛋闪亮登场 and bam!
-你干什么呢 -对不起 对不起 -Ah! What are you doing? -Shit. Sorry, sorry. Sorry.
来房子这边找我 Meet me on the side of the house.
-我... -好 你快走吧 -I... -Okay. Okay. Go.
-你好 -怎么了 -Hey. -Hey, what's up?
如果被人发现我又回来了 If anyone finds out that I came back here,
我会被解雇的 明白吗 I will get fired, okay?
明白了 Okay.
-别接受这个协议 -什么 -Don't take this deal. -What?
你们顶多就值那报价的一半 You are worth half that at best.
真是多谢夸奖 Oh. Wow. Thanks for the compliment.
我说真的 你们确实谈判的挺好 No. The credit to you guys. You negotiated your asses off,
但这是典型的过高估值 but this is a classic runaway valuation.
过高不好吗 What's wrong with that?
这轮过高估计市值 Pied Piper will be tied to this crazy valuation
你们就没法再进步了 that you will never be able to live up to.
如果下一轮融资无法提高估值 If you don't keep increasing in value in the next round,
如果估值下降了 你就完蛋了 If you have a down round, you are fucked.
你们刚起步 这相当于判了死刑 It is the kiss of death for a young CEO.
你需要一个现实的估值 You want to start with a realistic valuation
和一个合理的增长速度 and grow at a reasonable pace.
好吧 如果这真是糟糕的交易 Okay, well, if it's such a shitty deal,
那你的老板为什么要提出来呢 then why did your boss offer it to us?
因为她好胜的要死 Because she's as competitive as hell.
她需要魔笛手来保证拉维加的利润 理查德 She needs Pied Piper to keep Raviga afloat, Richard.
好了 我尊重劳里 Okay. Look, I respect Laurie,
但这种事正是彼得不愿做的 but this is the exact type of thing Peter never did.
理查德 拜托 我也有魔笛手的股份 Richard, come on. I own shares in Pied Piper.
如果这么高的估值对公司的长期运作有利 If this high a valuation was good in the long-term,
我怎么可能拿我的工作冒险呢 would I be standing here, risking my job?
别接受 也许应该选价格最低的那个 Don't take our offer. Maybe go with the lowest offer you got.
哪怕他们也过高估值了 Even that might be too high.
再说一次 谢谢你的夸奖 Again, thank you for the compliment.
还有 我刚才什么都 Also... I didn't see anything
-没看见 -好吧 谢谢 -In there. -No. Yeah, thank you.
我本身想说 如果你看见了就要交换 I was gonna say if you had, you'd have to show me yours, too.
好吧 好吧 谢谢 Okay. Okay. Thanks for the...
你忙吗 想出来喝一杯吗
上次聚会真抱歉 Yeah, sorry about that party.
我那晚状态不好 I was in kind of a bad way that night.
真相是 我感觉还可以 And truth is... I'm actually doing okay.
-是吗 那很好 -是啊 -Good. That's great. -Yeah.
之前的破事我可以回忆一万次 I mean, I could run the scenarios about what happened all I want,
但我最终意识到 but... I finally just realized
-其实我也无能为力 你懂吗 -是啊 -there's just nothing I could do, you know? -Yeah.
所以 我现在看开了 So... I'm at peace with it all.
事实上 我在想 I was thinking, actually...
如果你当时少要一点呢 what if you had asked for less?
-什么 -如果在第一轮融资 -What? -Well, what if you could've gone to someone
你的要价低于他们的开价呢 and asked for less than what they offered that first round?
你是说 主动降价吗 You mean, like, negotiating them down?
-是啊 -这样可以吗 -Yeah. -Can--can you even do that?
-为什么不可以呢 -但是 -Well, yeah. I mean, why not? -Yeah, but...
严格来讲 我是可以... I mean, I guess, technically, I could have...
是啊 设定一个更现实的目标 Yeah, I suppose you could argue that it might've been easier
实现起来会更容易 to hit more realistic benchmarks
-从而达到收支平衡 -我就是这个意思 -and reach cash flow break-even. -Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
之后 And then...
我们就不用面对经营情况的下滑 we wouldn't have faced that down round...
再之后 And... We...
我们也就不用被收购了 wouldn't have had to settle for acquisition.
给钱太多 All that money...
-反而坑了我 -我不清楚你是... -fucked me. -Wow. I mean, I don't know about...
-他妈的 -也许 -Shit! -Maybe.
-听着 -不不不 我们能走到第二轮的 -Look---Hey. No, no, no. We could've done a legit series b.
是吧 我还是首席执行官 Right? I'd still be CEO.
还能有工作 I'd have my job,
我拉风的大房子 My kick-ass house.
妹子也许还没走... I'd probably still have my girlfriend...
还有 And...
-操 -好吧 -Fuck! -Okay.
为什么当时没人告诉我可以少拿一点 Why the fuck didn't anyone tell me I could take less?
我不知道 我不知道 I don't know. I don't know.
-我就是突然想到 -操 -Ideas come up and then... -Fuck!
我准备打车走 留你在这静静 I'll take a cab, so I'll leave you to it.
谢谢你来与我见面 Thanks for meeting me.
操 Fuck!
理查德 Richard.
理查德 我是劳里·布瑞姆 Richard, I'm Laurie Bream.
我昨天去过你家 I was inside your home yesterday.
我们的提议你想过了没 Have you made a decision regarding our proposal?
是的 我们愿意和你们合作 Uh, yeah, yeah, we'll go with you guys,
但是我们要重新协商一下条件 but we need to renegotiate the terms.
很抱歉没有商量的余地 Oh, I'm afraid that's untenable.
我们已经出到最高价了 We're offering as much money as we can.
不不 我们希望降价 我们想少要一点 No, no, we wanna go lower. We want less--
事实上是少要很多 A lot less, actually.
如果拉维加投资一千万 We'll go with Raviga if you guys do
融资后估值五千万 也就是之前的一半 10 million at a 50 million valuation,
我们就同意 not 20 at 100.
我认为这样更合理 I think this is more reasonable,
这是我的最终出价 接不接受由你 and it's my final offer. Take it or leave it.
我没想到会这样 I was not anticipating this,
我想这对我们是可行的 but I think it will be workable from our end.
还有一件事 莫妮卡要进董事会 And one more thing--Monica votes for Raviga's board seat.
这显然是无所谓的 Certainly that seems unimportant.
我明天会给你的律师打电话 I will telephone your lawyer tomorrow,
-我们再谈相关细节 -好啊 -and we can speak about the relevant details. -Good.
彼得是为数不多的 真正行动起来 Peter was one of the few who genuinely took action
用技术帮助人类发展的人 to use technology to help humanity thrive.
但是我们到底要怎样量化 But how exactly can we quantify
一个人对于整个人类的贡献 another human's contributions to mankind?
我们把它划分成三个部分 Let's break it down into its three component elements.
彼得·格里高利的积极影响
我是在彼得打算 I met peter when he was
投资我的公司时认识的他 thinking about investing in my company, Zetasphere,
但是我想他后来有所犹豫 although I think he was hesitant
因为他对快拍的最初回报有所失望 after his disappointing initial return from Snapchat.
不过他还是投了 我们每个月能见一次 He came onboard, anyway, and every month we would meet.
彼得一向是一个诚实的人 Peter was always an honest man,
我知道如果他今天和我们同在 and I know that if Peter were here with us today,
他会说 他没有对快拍失望 he would say that he was not disappointed in Snapchat,
他会原谅你 列夫 原谅你的误解 and he would forgive you, Lev, for your misunderstanding.
彼得就是这样的人 That's just the kind of guy that Peter was--
热情慷慨 warm, generous,
而且不对快拍失望 and not disappointed in Snapchat.
我永远不会忘记初次见到彼得的场景 I'll never forget the first time I met peter.
是在他妈妈的车库 It was in his mom's garage,
我们一起开始创业 where we started our first business together--
制造仿IBM的VGA视频采集卡 Manufacturing VGA graphics cards for IBM clones.
那些日子一去不返了 We never looked back.
我最后一次见他 And you know, the last time I saw him,
是在一个饭店 it was at a restaurant,
离那个车库还没有半英里远 not a half-mile away from that same garage.
我们像老朋友一样交谈 We talked as old friends do.
他问我杰克逊霍尔那地方怎么样 He asked me about Jackson Hole,
我问他有关普拉提的问题 I asked him about... Pilates.
可是 感觉不对了 And yet... something was wrong.
我们表面上和气 心里却憋着火 Underneath it all, there was an unmistakable tension.
那股火我会抱憾终生 A tension I will forever regret.
众所周知 彼得和我有分歧 it's no secret Peter and I had our differences.
是事业将我们分开 We let business get between us.
而现在 Now?
现在我希望能跟他说句对不起 Now I wish I could say I'm sorry for that.
太晚了 他已经不在了 It's too late. He's gone,
这让我意识到宽容的重要性 and it makes me realize the importance of forgiveness,
无论何时都要心怀慈悲 of doing things with love and compassion in your heart,
而不是报复和竞争 and not vengeance and competition.
这是我们互相亏欠的东西 I mean, we owe that to each other, don't we?
也是欠他的 And to him?
毕竟 这里就是在彼得的帮助下建成的 After all, this valley is the place Peter himself helped build.
我们怀揣梦想聚集在这里 Where we come together as dreamers,
我们所有人 都衷心地想让世界更美好 all of us, to truly make the world a better place.
这里就是文艺复兴时期的佛罗伦萨 This is Florence during the Renaissance.
这里就是卡梅洛特[亚瑟王] This is camelot.
彼得把这里叫做 This is the place Peter
"创新的摇篮" himself called "The Cradle of Innovation".
我会怀念我的朋友的 I will miss my friend.
再见 彼得 Bye, Pete.
或许他还是有人性的 Maybe he is a human, after all.
天啊 抱歉 Jeez. I'm sorry.
是罗恩·拉弗兰梅发来的 It's from Ron Laflamme.
"盖文·贝尔森在起诉你 "Gavin Belson is suing you.
"声称你今天从互利窃取了魔笛手" "Filed claims today that you stole Pied Piper from Hooli."
该死 Shit.
盖文·贝尔森在起诉我们 Gavin Belson is suing us.