In the 16th year of Kang His Emperor Kang His got a weird disease
He was lacking of strength and spirit
He couldn't eat and sleep
the doctors were helpless
The emperor was dying
he had no choice but took grass to kill pain
You Majesty, do you feel it funny?
Summon the Royal Magician
Thank God
If you can't help me
I have to serve God then
You Majesty is blessed by God
Now, I have got 50 holy birds and hundreds of treatments
May God bless you
Tell me what you have in mind
Your Majesty
The informer has got secret massage for you
Your Majesty
we've got an armament book of betrayer Wu San Kwai
"Invincible Time Adventure Wheel"?
Your Majesty, it's the blessing of God
Long life to Your Majesty
The real king arrived
The Phenix hasn't returned
If there is a match of dragon and phenix
not in the past and not in the present
Not in the past and not in the present? What does the mean?
Don't worry, we may use the
Invincible Time Adventure Wheel
to go to 300 years later
get the real queen back to cure your illness
Who should do this?
I remember Your Majesty has a good friend
he is smart and perverted and he is always lucky too
He is the best guy to do it
I have to make good choice tonight
Don't let it be the Princess, no princess
I want you tonight
Tsang Yau...
Please, don't make it be Princess
If it is Princess, I will kill you
Tsang Yau...
The Princess will serve you tonight Your Excellency
My God
It is Tasng Yau
I want you tonight
Shit, I am dying
Watch the door carefully
His Excellency isn't there
don't come in by force
Don't do that, don't push me
I haven't put on clothes yet
You two are useless
It's useless to pull me my clothes are so heavy
I walk slowly, so what?
I said I would go in
Your Highness
What do you mean by dressing like this?
Nothing, because of seeing you
so I dress decently
Why don't you bring the shield together?
Oh yes, you reminded me
What are you looking?
You will know it when you grow up
Get out...
Go to bed now
Go yourself
Let me help me
Honey
tell me what we are going to play tonight
I will take care of you
You'd take care of me
What is stabbing me?
It may kill, honey
You are my husband, we want to make
a new life tonight
Your Highness...
Your Excellency, come and receive the Royal Instruction
His Excellency is busy
it's Ok of not kneeling
Here is the Royal Instruction
Wai Siu Bo should now go to the palace to greet His Majesty
Honey, I have no other choice
I have to greet
His Majesty now
Ah Ford, prepare the sedan chair
Wait, you should finish our matter first
But it's man's duty to repay the country
Maybe, I am useful in the coming mission
Let's forget our affection first
No, finish the matter first
No, let me go to the palace first
Finish our matter first
Go to the palace first
Let's finish it on the way to the palace
Fine
Ok
Higher, higher, use more force...
I have tried my best
Honey, I am not satisfied I am waiting for you
I am the perverted but handsome lady killer
Wai Siu Bo
long life to Your Majesty
Get up please
Thank you, Your Majesty
You summoned me urgently
may I know what happened?
There is an important matter come and discuss it
Your Majesty, from the taste your grass is not good enough
Why not try this? From Thailand
Ok, let me try this
This is sent by Eunuch Chan
You Majesty, don't take too much
Please take care
It's really great
It'll get high easily
It's boring, let's go out for a walk
Fine
I am too excited to exceed you
Please forgive me
Don't talk in this way
Damn you something bothers me so much
Please instruct me anything
you want me to do for you
I will try my best to do it
Cut the crap, I take you as my best friend
Now, I have a difficult task for you
to handle it on my behalf
If you are my friend
you'd promise to do this for me
I treat Your Majesty more than a friend
I worship you as God
Really?
Especially it's the difficult time of your country
No matter how hard is the job is
I, Wai Siu Bo, will never scare
Damn you
You bastard, you always
make use of your friendship
The mission I mentioned
is related to the
Time Adventure Wheel
That is the "Time Adventure Wheel"?
It's very colorful, isn't it made by gold?
It's like a tea pot
Your Majesty
What's the use of it?
Can you explain it to me?
It can bring you to 300 years later
Why should I go to 300 years later?
To find a wife
I have got 7 wives I don't think I need anymore
But what a pity that, I have none
You are right, but none of my business
Siu Bo, come and have my order
Yes, Your Majesty
What's wrong?
Isn't it the invasion of the enemies?
How to sit?
Your Majesty the tea pot becomes carbon
Your Majesty
the wheel has just been tested but cause explosion
It's become ashes now
I can tell by looking at this
Please forgives us, we've tried our best
Well
just forget this
I hope to compensate
The last one must be successful
Set out the day after tomorrow
Just make another try
A try? Your Majesty my luck in gambling is very poor recently
If you don't want to go... may I go myself?
I've to go then
Master, I don't know
whether I can come back alive or not
I treat you great food this time
Enjoy it. Don't waste it
Hope you would bless me to be safe.
Please
Master, you look good
You must have fun, right?
Your Excellency, time's up, let's play
No. I am not in good mood
if you want to play, play me
Yes
I have to test whether the charm functions or not
Scabies in the eyes, in front of the bed
Why nobody appears?
He will show up when I tell the charm
He must have gone to the toilet
Siu Bo, what are you looking for master?
Master
Nothing
I just want to test whether the charm functions or not
Damn you, why do you ask me for?
I damn you!
If there is nothing special, I am leaving
See you
Time's changed, Master is so rude too
Raise the 7 lanterns
Slowly, put it right here
Hubby, how are you? Are you feeling bad?
Give His Excellency some nutritious food
Stop pretending, it won't harm
I said, it would be alright, then it's alright
Hubby, I have to give you something
The Jade Busts?
I want you to remember me only don't touch any other woman
I have my own idea
Sister, hubby is so weak
Why not give him some help to ventilate his blood?
Fine
Help him up
Use your power, but don't...
Being taken care by the mistress
His Excellency must be alright
Hope His Excellency will recover soon
Your Majesty, time's up
Your Excellency, just face to North East
turn 18'...
Cut the crap
just tell me how to get the queen
Your Excellency you are blessed by the God
The queen is born in March 9, at 3-5 am
the year of wood. A virgin
Virgin? It's hard to distinguish from the appearance
So, I have prepared a crystal bar for you
When you touch the virgin
bright golden light will be shown
Really? How about bitch?
It she is a bitch bright red light will be shown
Siu Bo
I am now giving you a Royal Sword and 3 boxes of jewels
Try your best
Thank you, Your Majesty
Your Excellency, this way please
Shut the door
Wait!
Your Majesty, you'd remember the thing you have promised me
Shut the door...
Wait, I want to piss
Shut the door
Let's go!
Is this the world of 300 years advanced?
It smells good
What kind of dog is it?
Don't chase after me
Damn it, get lost
Why am I here? Is he the one who saved me?
He doesn't seem to be a bad guy
Mainlander, raise up your legs
Eat this first
It's lucky of you to be saved by me from the toilet
Otherwise, you would have been socked to death
What place is it?
Who are you?
What place? This is the HQs of the
Northern District of RHKPF...
I'm kidding! I mean it's a common police station in Ma Ye Fat Village
I am the station sergeant
Everybody calls me Uncle Wah
But those who don't know me they will call me police or Sir
That's equivalent to your "Gong On" that's security officer
You speak too fast, I can't understand all
Can you repeat once?
Not necessary
can you explain what is a police?
The one who keeps law and order
Stop pretending in front of me
I know you are an illegal immigrant
Eat this bowl of noodle then I will take you back
Back? Back to where?
Who is the emperor?
I want to discuss something with him
Emperor? That is the emperor
A foreigner? That means
the Ching Dynasty was finished
Ching Dynasty? You idiot
Is the Heaven and Earth Society still the first society in the world?
The No.1 society in Hong Kong is the Royal HK Jockey Club
Jockey Club?
So I have to visit it
You are wonderful but you don't have any I.D. Card
What is I.D. Card?
Cut the crap
I have to take you back before Chiu's return
Ah Chiu is difficult to handle
He will drive crazy when seeing the Mainlander
What is meant by drive crazy?
Just look at me, and then you'll know it
Master?
Master! No one can save you this time
Mainlander
Master, I am glad you are here
This is the suit always dream of
Why can't buy this in the toy's shop?
Tell me, tell me
Master, what'd I tell you?
Tell me...
Ah Chiu, don't be so impulsive
What am I going to tell you?
Why don't you tell?
What am I going to tell you?
You'd ask me first
Tell me why can't I get this suit
in the toy's shop?
This is my daily dress
Master, where is your pig tail?
It's hidden underneath
Mainlander don't you think this gun is fake?
Where do you come from?
I am not a mainlander
Tell me, tell me now or I'll shoot you to death
I mean it, I am not kidding
Ah Chiu, you will drag me down
In fact, Sha Tau Kok is not bad
The air is fresh, the job is easy
Don't dream of being transfer red to the city
If you don't listen to me
I will commit suicide in front of you
Ok, let me help you
You can't even make it
Uncle Wah, why do you play firecracker early in the morning?
It's not firecracker
it's farting competition
All the things are broken
Nothing, nothing
Why don't you do the normal procedures now?
Stop arguing, let me say something first
Your case is not serious than mine
Uncle Wah, listen to me...
Stop, one by one, tell slowly
Uncle Wah I want a divorce with my husband
Ah Chiu, come and help
You can't blame me
I hit you because I want to help you indeed
Chan Kan Nam, are you my master?
Now, only two of us are here
you may tell me frankly
What?
I am Siu Bo
You are Siu Lo Bo, I am Siu Chi Cha
The Iron Teacher asked me to beat you up
How is your hand?
I tell you, I hate Mainlanders
Why do I hate Mainlanders
because...
Nothing special, I love beating
Where can I find the girls?
This way it's not a problem of not following me
I hate people walk here
and there when I am talking
You made me feel annoyed
Just some old grannies
Did I come a wrong place?
You are sick! What did you stab me with?
What am I up to?
I hate louse most in my life
It's not a problem of being itchy
but shaving hair is not lucky
Today, the temperature of the sea is 25'C
with mild wind from SE...
Are you ready?
Cut the crap, I am treating you good
I will let you go this time
Take care
Where is the road?
Down below is the sea
Swim back to China
I don't know swimming
Then fly
I don't know flying too
Do you think I am easily bribed?
Don't you think you can get rid of me that easily?
See you, Mainlander
Uncle Wah, you know, I am too Ionely
Don't learn on me
so many people will pass by
My sex life with my hubby is not satisfactory
I want to divorce with him and follow you then
I won't bother you, I want to take a rest
Loan Shark Hung is looking for you
Shit!
Your hubby is looking for you
you know?
Really?
I am leaving, Uncle Wah, bye bye
Bye Bye...
Pal, some illegal immigrants are hiding
in Sai Kung Ship Factory
I will go and arrest them tonight
Call your boss
ask him to send some help for me
I will achieve something this time
Where can we get help?
We may get some cows, they are outside
Damn you!
Chiu, your information is fake
If you want to achieve something
fix these files first
Damn!
Chiu, these files are all about you
For these, they complain you of not paying your debts
Damn!
Ah Chiu
Enough, don't complain against me anymore
How can you be my boss?
How can you be my fellow?
Go and do your soapy show
Go and act Ah So
You love gambling so much do you have any planning?
Uncle Wah, let's go for a movie?
I've bought the tickets
See you at 7 pm, outside the cinema
I can't help of being so handsome
Oh, brother Kei and brother Shui
I am sorry, wrong information
I have found a wrong place sorry for bothering
Why don't you ask Chiu to come up?
Brother Choi
you seldom play in the Fun Land
I come to you on behalf of 7 casinos
& 9 brothels of Yau Tsim District
The sum, total is $150,000
If you don't have money leave your organs
I am the outstanding police &
the image designer of the Special Unit
Give me face
I will give your mom face
My mom wants to send her regards to you too
Don't push me
Where do you get this stuff from?
Brother Choi, I am not fooling you
you can take anything of mine
But this, my treasure which worth
4 millions, you can't take away
I will live and die with this jade
If you want to take it away
you'd give me some cash
I can't tell
it's so important to you
You will live and die with this jade, right?
Go to hell then
It hurts
Who threw me with this? It hurts
Which bastard did it?
Brother Hung, he is the bastard
I am sorry, brother Hung
Brother Hung, sister in law
Sister in law
$100,000
$100,000?
I said $100,000, that is $100,000
You needn't that much
she is slightly hurt only
$100,000 is enough for plastic surgery too
It's me who gives you the sum
What? This jade is more that $100,000
You are expert in jade
Ask Brother Hung to add some more
Cut the crap
Hung said $100,000, that's $100,000
Let's make it a deal
Thank you Brother Hung why just $50,000?
You should pay the medical fee of my wife
It's fair, very fair
it's an advantage of taking him as boss
It's hard to find another one in this world
you'd be obedient
Brother Choi
Shut up!
Don't fool me, brother Choi
This is for you
Brother Hung, this is the interest
If there is any more antique bring it to me at once
No need of waiting
I am going to take my granny to you now
See you, boss
How dare you false impersonated my master & push me to the sea!
Luckily the waves brought me to the shore
If I see that skinny again
I will teach him a good lesson
Not here?
Someone is here
Let's see that skinny is here or not
It's so big
Undress?
Even the trousers too?
Bathing?
Great!
Fantastic!
Turn, turn...
Thief, a thief has broken into the village somebody help...
I am despicable. I am cheap...
I don't mind you hating me, beating me
or castrating me...
Even, raping me
Pal, what are you bull-shitting?
Please let me go first
do whatever you like
Are you telling the truth?
I know, even my death won't compensate anything
It's really great
So white and smooth...
It won't compensate
the injuries of this pretty girl
So I decided...
to leave this place of sorrow
Wait
you should set us free first
Come back, set us free
Before I leave
I will disclose a big secret of this village
What? I want to divorce
because I want to get uncle Wah only
Right, I've plastic surgery of my busts
it's been over 10 years
Quiet!
Shut up!
The secret is, there is a...
treasure in this village
Really? Tell me then
What's the matter? How can you trust such lies?
The treasure is hidden somewhere around the mountain
You should discover it yourself
May I dig it out and
send it to your home?
You should do it yourself, you idiot
Dismiss!
Jewels
Jewels?
I am rich now
It's true, there is treasure we are going to be rich
Don't you think I am a hawker of selling fish balls?
Go and dig separately
Let's go on digging
Go, hurry up...
Master Bo...
Brother Chiu
Master Bo
Can't you go to sleep? Brother Chiu
Master Bo...
Do you mean to let me go?
Did you push me to the sea?
Master Bo...
180' Whirlwind Wonder Kick
Please don't...
Chiu, what's happened?
Ah Chiu has fallen to the sea
Don't you think it's my palm?
Shut up, Ah Chiu looking for treasure in the sea
Go on digging
I hate others pushing me to the sea from my back
Look at you
you are all wet, you are trembling
Dry your body first
Thank you
Brother Bo, there is dust on your face
I have clean it for you
Brother Bo, are there any more treasure?
Are you poor?
No, I don't mean it
I am going to wash the underpants for you
Master Bo, is the noodle delicious?
You are Chinese
I am Chinese too
Maybe, we are one family in future
Let's be good friends
we are Mainlanders too
You are Mainlander, I am Chinese
Mainlander, Chinese
we are upper class too
The jade which we are all eyes
is a valuable jade, you know?
My friend
gave $100,000 for it
You are obedient
I will take you as my fellow
Great, thank you master Bo
What advantage do I have?
It's too generous of you
But you should promise 3 conditions first
Ok, no problem
I will take care of your living but you should obey me
No problem
How about the 2nd condition?
You'd find a virgin for me
It's quite difficult, but I will try my best
How about a virgin boy?
Third...
No problem, no problem
You should not be that troublesome
Alright!
Hello!
Where are you?
I am here, Master Bo
What are the favorites of the girls nowadays?
Money, or flower
Do you want me to massage for you?
Fine, what is massage?
Wonderful scenery
Good morning Miss
Oh, it's you
Yes!
What are you coming for?
I want to make friends with you
Go now, scumbag
The cheque
Go now!
Do you want me to go? Do you want to go against money?
You are idiot
What is meant by idiot?
Chiu, why did you piss everywhere?
I pissed! Don't you think it was shitting?
Master Bo, why don't you talk to me?
Why do you have a long face?
A wrong road
I have arranged wonderful programmers for you
Let's eat the shushi first
and then play TV games, and then skating
Master
just fix him as you like
Anyway, make him like a human being
Fine!
What are you doing? You can't cut it
It's unlawful in Ching Dynasty
I can't let you cut it
Don't keep it, cut it
I have warned you, go to hell
I have warned you, why do you still cut it? How about queue?
Fine!
Just make a pig tail
This is the busiest place in HK Tsim Sha Tsui
There are many shopping centers
many pedestrians
many taxi, many police
Many jewel shops, many poles
many bars...
In Tsim Sha Tsui East
there are many people kissing
Kissing
Yes, do you know kissing?
Does it need money?
If not, let's go and try
Some does and some doesn't
You can't find the queen in such a hurry
Before getting her, you live in my place
About the living expense you'll be responsible
I have no idea, we are buddies, right?
Your home is so simple
I can't sleep if no one serves me
You need money to look for the Queen
This cheap stuff costs 2 or 3 hundred dollars
Give it to me
Ok, take it
Taxi fare is very expensive
I want to look for her in Kowloon
Undress it, undress it
Take them
It's enough to go to Shenzhen
Thank you
You're stupid
I have heard that the taxi fare starts from $9
Isn't it true?
It's true
Are you hurt?
Don't pretend to be hero
What good stuff do you provide today?
Nothing, just common stuff
It's the gallstone of Princess Cheung Ping of Ming Dynasty
Let me measure it for you
How dare you cheat me again?
Up to you, the amount is alright!
I will take the prepuce of Kang His for mortgage
Alright! Ok man! Give me a five!
Hey, Big Eyes
Come in!
I've got the queen you want
I have bought the hot lemon water for you too
I have to work, put it down first
You are working hard
So ugly, I wonder, it won't be her
I saw her once in the nightclub
How long should we take to learn this subject?
About 2 to 3 years!
2 to 3 years?
Get lost
No problem!
What kind of soap you are using? Its taste is good
I won't tell you
Antiseptic Liquid?
No!
Toilet cleaning powder?
Go to hell!
Shit!
You dragged me down
Stay calm, there is only one machine
out of work, I'll repair soon
All are on strike!
I am going to call the masters here
Damn you...
You are wise you know I have got some trouble
The case you asked me to investigate is going to be Ok
Really?
In half years time
I am sure I can get the news
How can you clam this as the words told by a human being?
Can't you wait for 6 months?
Damn you!
Let's run for our lives
Next
Are you Miss Chung please show me your hand
Right hand
do you mind holding my stuff?
What stuff?
This is the one I mentioned
Thank you
Cheap guy!
You may go now
I will call you tonight
I have a night shift, let me look for you ok?
Ok!
Next
Are you Miss Wong, hold it
Why is it green?
It's not red nor gold what does that mean?
It's fixed
Have you been taken any advantage by others?
No, but I have drunken once
When I woke up I discovered that I lost my virginity
I haven't found it back yet
Have you called the police?
No!
So, you are not a virgin?
Idiot, are there so many virgins?
Go and search in the kindergarten
You are idiot
She is right
Next
Sorry
No need to apologise
Where is the file?
Go and check it
Should it be that tough?
You are tough too
File! Where is the file?
Don't check the files, fix little brother first
Give me the files what do you want to know?
What's wrong with that table?
The beauty is from Thailand
The meat of Thailand is delicious too
The durian of Thailand is even great
Yes
Ah Chiu, I want to go out
Master Bo...
Do you have anything for me to play?
Yes
You have wonderful skill
Miss, we always meet each other
remember?
Where are you going?
It smells sweet, have you just bathed?
What kind of soap do you use?
Are you still alive?
Siu Ha, are you going out of the village?
Really?
Dead? Whenever I see you, I want to die
You have honey lips
It is smart too
How do you know?
How do you feel?
Where are you going to? Take me for a ride please
Are you leaving me alone?
I am dying for running a long time
Don't follow me
I don't want it either
But I can't help
meeting you
I think, I have fallen for you
But I don't have any good impression
of you, but hatred
Don't worry, I'm confident
to make you change your mind
I will make you loving me
I won't be in love with a dog
Why do you say yourself is a dog?
The trousers are pretty
It smells good
Honey, who is this guy?
He is Siu Ha I mentioned to you some times ago
Oh, it's her
you have made a clever choice
You are lovely
Is he your new boyfriend?
No exactly
He is my future husband
You can't find any better
but you needn't find the worst one
No, it's matched
Really matched
Pal, how can you
insult me in the public area?
So what?
The one next to you doesn't seem to be great
She has bad breath
You are right?
I said you, bitch!
Say once more if you have guts
Since you like me to do it, we'll do it
You are common & with bad breath
You...
Let's don't discuss with such uncivilized man
Let's go over there
Honey, let's go up to see the clothes
Go there yourself I will wait for you right here
Bastard!
How is it? When will you be free?
I want to take your life
Honey, I was attacked
Honey, it's not reasonable they hurt you seriously
What's the hell!
How can you beat her so seriously?
Who asked her to look at me?
How can you stayed with the long hair
triad
You'll be sold to brother sooner or later
You are shameless, you are cheap
Why did you hit her?
It's a must for beating him
How dare you hit me too
Go now!
Why do you hold my hand?
Nothing, I feel dizzy, come and help me
I have to sue you
Let's start everything from New York
The foreigner's land?
It's New York Cinema
The cinema of the foreigner?
It's a love story
He said
he would treat me the way that guy treats the leading lady
Never ending love. Never separate
Pal, is it fish? Is it fresh?
Of course it is
Steamed it please
Cut it slim, no, it's too thick
Steamed?
What? You are too poor
More than that, he found me
he said he wanted to engage with me
But, the night before engagement we've not yet made up our minds
What is it?
Toro
Put it in the hot water for a while
I don't like eating non-cooked food
You idiot!
That's too much
Yes, he is beast
May I be excused
Her life is so poor
But, you have to court her too
Luckily, I have brought this bottle "Perverted for 7 days" with me
How can you escape from me?
Why not perverted for half month? It'll perverted anyway
Mister, the cooked toro
Thank you!
You bastard, I have been busy
searching the queen for you
But you hide up and eat
You wasted my effort
Well, let me repay...
repay you money, Ok?
Ok, let me eat this
No
Miss, are you alright?
Oh, you are courting girl it can be forgiven
Siu Ha, what's the matter? Are you sick?
Feeling dizzy? You must have though too much
Let me take you for a rest
You must have too much sorrow
Drink some...
There was a cup right here
Shit!
What're you doing? I have taken your soft drink only
No, everything is finished
You will be dead meat!
Am I dying? I will gain few hundred thousands again
You leave first, I will pay the bill
You'd be dead meat!
I want a pock-chop rice with egg
more pork chop, egg & rice
You want 2 orders, right?
Will you come to my home for a while?
It's too late, make it another day
Another day? Sister Ha
in fact, our stories are almost the same
That's why I have guts to...
Shit, you go home first
I have to take a look at Chiu
Be careful!
I want to kiss your face
which is as smooth as the egg tart
I want it!
I am dying!
Ah Chiu
Help, what did I eat?
It becomes so big!
Your dick was like a pen in the past
Cut the crap, now, there are 2 methods
1 st, find a girl
Or, I will push the poison out by using my Kung-fu
Come on!
Don't go!
Ah Chiu, what are you doing?
No, I am a man
Chiu, don't! Let me find you a woman
Has the ambulance arrived yet?
My friend is almost beaten to death
Beat me, if it goes on like this
I don't want to be alive
You bastard, shut up
How dare you use that to stab my ass?
Don't you think I mean it?
Other than ass, where can you get
another hole from your body?
Damn you
Yuen Chun, he is the Kung-fu master I employed from Russia
I have an important mission
That is, you two should go to
300 years later, to kill Wai Siu Bo
You can't fail in this mission
Yes
I have made up my mind the queen is a woman
In Hong Kong, night club is a place which is filled with women
That's good, don't lie to me
In the nightclub, it's full of fun
If you don't take care you will be drowned by the women
Master Bo, are you very tired?
No, I am afraid of throwing up
You are right
where have the beauties gone?
Master, what's wrong with you?
I understand...
Manager
What's the matter, Sir?
Master Bo, be patient
Manager, the girls...
Any problem?
They are not qualified
what shall I do then?
Let me change them for you
That's too good, change you too
Babies, let's go
Sorry, I am really sorry
I have nothing to throw up soon
Have they gone?
Almost
Boss, are you satisfied with them?
I am dying, I am dying
Boss, enjoy yourself, I am leaving
Manager, come over here
Boss, what's up
are they not good?
You may change them again and again
No, I don't mean it
Please ask the damn guy get out of here
Which damn guy? Brother Chiu?
Yes
Brother Chiu... Brother Chiu
What's the matter?
Bo said, he wanted that bastard to leave here
Which damn bastard?
That's you
Be smart, maybe
he wants to discuss something with you
Fine!
Master Bo, enjoy yourself
Go and serve Master Bo now
Manager, what's is matter?
You are bad why haven't you come in these days?
How can you complain me?
You are disgusting your friend loves fooling around
He takes 5 together!
Let's wait and see when he gets sex disease
Brother Choi
Who are you? Why don't you knock first?
I know him
My friend. We are good friends
Cut the crap, you seem like dying
Why don't you serve me don't you think I am invisible?
Come out!
Cut the crap if you've no money
I won't mind you beating him
But you can't take the girls away
Forget it, life is valuable
stay away from AIDS
You are right
So, I have to stay away from you you are gay
How do you know that I am gay?
What are you looking?
It's rather big!
Uncle, haven't you seen such
a big hair in your life?
It's not like hair from a close look
Not any hair is of this color
But, it's too narrow, it won't be...
Damn you!
I didn't freeze you what's wrong with you?
Fire little sausage
Where is it?
Wait, it's right here
What's the matter?
To achieve to the society work for the people, work for yourself
To stay in bed with women you need 2 things
Hide it!
Do you want to get sex disease?
What is it?
Sex disease
Let me help you
No, thanks, I will handle it myself
It's tasteless!
I have nearly forgotten you should taste it too
No, no...
If anything happens
I can't take care of you
Come on, do it accordingly or I won't give you money
The rich man is always weird
Wait, let's change
What's the matter?
You eat happily
yours must be more delicious
Stop playing, let us do it
No, if you were the queen
I would be executed
Try this
You'll be satisfied
You must try, hold this thing first
Not this!
Which one?
The thinner one
What for?
Red? So she is a bitch
Don't you think a virgin will follow you to such a place?
Come on
Not the queen, that means I can screw her
Tonight is quiet
Look, who are they?
Go and check
Pal, what are you doing here?
Where do you come from?
Do you have I. D?
I. D? If not, I have to arrest you
Hello?
Shit...
No one is called "Shit"
Ah Chiu
Ah Chiu? Ah Chiu is out
Damn it!
Pal, it's none of my business for Chiu is out
If you want to scold me
you've to go back to 300 years ago
I am coming
Coming? I won't scare you
I am now by the door
Now? The door? That soon
Open the door now
Fine
Chiu? Why don't you ring the bell?
Why don't you talk clearly?
If you were forced to eat 5 durians
you would speak unclearly too
The one you want is here
Why do you point at me with this?
We don't know each other
Don't push, or I will counter attack
Brother Hung, if you want to look for me
just page me
You needn't ask so many buddies to search for me
You bastard, you come to me when you have no money
You don't repay your debt but fooling around
I don't mind that
but how dare you take the woman of my buddie
You lost & you used some dirty stance to fool my buddy
It's almost a week haven't been eaten by ants?
Brother Hung how dare I fool your buddy?
You are my benefactor?
Cut the crap, fix it for my buddy now
Fine
Master Bo
What's the matter?
To set him free
Be careful, slowly...
Set him free
Move quickly
Finish it then we may go
Hurry up, don't look, that's sister-in-law
What?
What are you looking?
I saw a crab catching a rat
it's funny
The rat is called Mickey
What crab is that?
Fat crab
Beat him
May I know your name?
Congratulation
Just call me Siu Bo
Master Bo, from now on, follow me, no
I follow you
Kidding? Siu Hung
Brother Hung, we are buddies.
Don't talk like that
Your business is my business too
No, no!
You should listen to what I said
Is she sister-in-law?
Yes!
Hello? Wish you ever lucky!
Hello, I am Siu Ha what are you doing now?
I am making love
What?
I said, Ah Chiu is watching the blue tape
Let me lower the volume of the TV first
Turn off the TV
He doesn't want to turn it off
Well, can you come out?
Not now
When? When will you come out?
I think I can come out soon
Coming, coming...
It's quiet, have you turned off the TV?
Coming out now?
7 th Madam, hurry up
You should think something
You want to search for us in such a hurry what's the matter?
Stop quarrelling
Ng San Kwai sent someone to kill our hubby
Shit, he is now in great danger
Think some solution
Stop, Shang's Kung-fu is the best among us
So, I decided to go with Shang to protect hubby
It hasn't boiled yet
Let me take a look, don't move
I forgot to use the power
Your handkerchief is not in the proper position
I used too much power
It's boiled, isn't it great?
Don't you think I didn't see you
connecting the plug with your toes?
You won't understand
come on, let's eat
I bought your favorite cuttle fish
Can you remember what day is today?
What day? It's Friday
It's about me
What a coincidence!
Your period comes...
You are disgusting
It's comfortable, once more
If you kill me no one will celebrate your birthday
You said you'd arrange an unforgettable
birthday party for me
I did nothing, isn't it special enough?
Not even a present!
You cheated me
Of course!
This is sent by the Emperor not very much expensive
You look pretty today
Was I ugly yesterday?
No, you are always
Today is your birthday
I have to kiss you for celebration
I mean, I want to borrow some money from you, with high interest
What does that mean?
I mean a wet kiss
It's disgusting
No, it's not disgusting, it quenches thirst
Come on
You, tiny guys in strange suits
what do you want?
How dare you screw my life?
You're Brother Hung when did screw your wife?
Don't you think you dress like this and then it'd be Ok?
Do you want to freeze me?
I want to stab your eyes
Siu Bo
Take care of her!
Don't move
I found an underwear from my wife's
handbag, which is not mine
Why are you still laughing?
Why not take it as an extra one?
I asked someone to watch my wife
she really has an affair
How can you deny?
Right. I won't do secret matters
The underwear is mine I seduced the wife of Hung too
Sister-in-law is so hot and sexy
tell me which man isn't willing to
make friends with this sex idol?
Tell me
What?
Do you want to screw the wife of Hung?
Yes! No!
He said yes too
Boss, I don't mean it, he is fooling me
Why don't you tell me frankly?
Anyway, it's guilty to seduce the wife of others
You are wrong, she is the wife of you
not the wife of "others"
I couldn't control myself, I promise not next time
Idiot, we are buddies, right?
Wife is like a dress, right?
You are right
buddies should wear the same clothes
No room for rented, go now
Brother Hung don't hurt the innocent people
She comes to rent the room
Siu Bo
Bring him in let him see me how to make love
Forget it, I will be scared
How dare he screw the woman of Hung
he'll chopped into pieces
The fellows of Brother Hung?
You screwed my woman in this bed
I'll take revenge in this bed too
Brother Hung, don't hurt her
She didn't seduce your woman it's me who did it
Why don't you screw me... oh no no no...
She is cheap, don't waste your time
Cheap? If so, let me shoot her to death
No... she is cheap in front of other people
but in front of you she is changed from cheap to sexy
Undress, now
Brother Hung...
Undress, hurry up
Go
After them
Go now
Jump!
Want dying?
Sorry, it's a little bit ruined
Go now
Brother Hung
Leave now, forget about me
Jump, quick
Ah Chiu
Get in
After them
Uncle Wah, Uncle Wah...
What are you screaming for?
What's happened?
Siu Ha, get something for him to bite
Uncle Wah, help me to turn him over
Who dares to shoot the police?
It hurts...
Don't worry, it's alright
Bite it!
Don't worry, I will use my power to force the bullet out
Let me take the stuff
Not necessary, it's alright
His fart is really great
This is normal
I don't feel well, I have to take medicine
Fine
Will you force
his shit out if you keep on pushing him?
Maybe
Do you enjoy it?
I can't feel anything for it's too fast
Your first time?
How do you know it?
I can tell from your ass. It's red
What a shame
Don't appreciate me
I won't
Will you be mad at me?
Idiot, we are friends
Go to hell!
What are you doing?
Why didn't you ask me to seduce Hung's woman with you?
Let me make a date on next Tuesday, Ok?
I am afraid I haven't recovered yet
Well, I may substitute you
Uncle Wah, Ha fainted
Uncle Wah, take care of Ah Chiu
I am going for Siu Ha
Ah Chiu...
Ah Chiu, how are you?
Give way
The eyes turn white and your hands are so cold
Give away... or she can't breath
Go out... go out...
If not, I will rape every one of you
What a fantastic idea
Stay calm I am using my interior power to cure you
You didn't talk, but how can listen to you?
Because I am talking to you with my heart
We can hear the opposite part without talking
You know special power?
It's Kung fu
I have told you I came from Ching Dynasty
Don't look at me like this
or I will drive crazy easily
Attractive...
don't look, it will drive me crazy
But I have to take a look
It's too exciting
Siu Bo, are you alright?
Nothing special, I have lost some blood
only, it's no big deal
Siu Bo...
Are you feeling better?
It hurts
Aren't you feeling well?
Yes, my whole body is not alright
Here, here, and here
every parts of the body
Are you sick?
Yes, I don't know why, I don't feel well
Are you coming from Ching Dynasty?
I can give you proofs
If not, how can I know
freezing a man?
I won't care I have to make use of this chance
I love you, let's have a kiss
And take this chance...
I tell you, I can screw you now
Although I wish to
I don't have guts to do so
Because... I respect you
I... Iove you
Why don't you go now?
Why should I pretend to be decent? I should have screwed her
Siu Bo
How can I face myself of not screwing her?
You...
What are you doing?
I want...
What do you want?
I want...
Good morning are you making my breakfast?
Do you want to eat toothpaste?
It seems that
you haven't done that for 300 years
Don't misunderstand I am always like that...
I am that poor
Are you hungry
let me buy you some food
How can I bother you?
Why don't you go now?
What?
You are bad
Troublesome
The woman is troublesome
The door is not locked why can't remember it?
Forget the money?
Hubby
Oh shit!
Hubby, do you miss me?
I miss you everyday
Really?
Yes
How can you live in such place?
Yes
Have you looked for any other woman?
I dare not
Have you visited the brother?
No, the modern people dislike such things
Are you tired?
How can you solve your need alone?
What need?
Use my hands
Right or left?
Both hands
What a hard job for them
They are willing to do so
Who is that woman?
Who is it?
That one
She is the mother of my room-mate Ah Chiu
She passed away
Dead?
What is this?
This is...
What is it?
Bra
Bra?
They love wearing it
in rainy days
They want to collect the rain with this
to quench thirst
I see
When the rain is heavy, use big one when it's small, use small one
If there is no rain, no need of wearing it
Hubby we have come for more than a month
So what?
We watch TV ads all day
I love watching TV ads when I come here
Don't you know I am ignorant?
They called this as bra
Honey
Don't use the Eagle's Claw to beat me
Don't! Stay calm
I will be dead, honey, don't mess up
Come and collect the fax
What fax?
The queen you want
The queen?
Is she pretty?
That's too old
Do you want to fool me?
The one coming next is the true one
Siu Ha...
You went to bed
with Siu Bo yesterday...
Why do you ask in such a direct way?
Shit, from your bitchy smile
you two must have some relationship
You will be regretted
I won't
But Siu Bo will
Siu Bo won't, I treat him that nice
You can't fall for Siu Bo
Why?
Don't you fall for me?
No!
I think so, if you fell for me
you would have fallen at the beginning
Are you gay?
Idiot, I am not
A police may be gay
You are right
You admit too
Idiot
Look, your legs spread
don't you deny you aren't gay?
I always go riding
I saw you in bubble bath
Does it imply gay?
I love bubble bath since I was a child
I don't allow gays enter my house
I have to find Siu Bo
Siu Bo
Help, murder!
It must be illusion
You love Siu Bo too much so there is illusion
You saw that too?
Be frank, I am gay
I love Siu Bo too much so I have the illusion too
it's too complicated
I have to wake myself up
I said it is illusion
No one is inside
It's not sinful to fall for a guy but don't lose your mind
Let's go
Help!
Brother, please control yourself
it will dirty the place of Siu Ha
I think so, but I can't control them
Are you that great?
You must be an actress
Master Bo, how much is charged for hiring them to take pictures?
I just want to know the price
I want you to give me an answer
Hubby, I want you to explain
Let me introduce...
She is my wife
If I tell you she is a hooker
will you believe?
How can a hooker have such good body?
If I tell you she is a hooker
will you believe?
How can a hooker have such good body?
You are right
Be frank
you two are having relations with me
About what relationships
I can't figure it out now
Hubby, who is this guy?
One more, this one is worse that them
Since I couldn't figure it out now
let's take this break to have meal
Forget it, youth loves fooling around
I know you love fooling around
Why did you hit my hubby?
Shang
Siu Ha...
What are you doing? Do you want to kill her?
Why don't you chase?
Of course not, there is one and two are here
I should stay here
You are right!
I have some matters to bother you
The queen you want me to search for I have got her now
Thank you
The queen!
He is like master
Miss, I can do
what Siu Bo can do
Maybe, I can do better
why don't you try?
Try him!
I can handle both of you
Siu Ha...
Siu Ha
Where is she?
Siu Ha
Shit, the queen is missing what should I do then?
Siu Ha
Why are you have?
Be frank
are you married?
Siu Ha, you run so fast
Right, I am married
but this is not important
You have married more than once
Yes, but this is not important too
You deceived me
right, but this is not important too
Most important of all you have to save the life of the emperor
He should look for a doctor, not me
You are asked to be the queen
I feel sick
Mister
this jade is well kept
It's perfect
wonderful jade
Yes, it is
Let me have a look of that
Mister, you are an antique buyer
you needn't wear such clothes
How can you get this Jade bust?
Mister, you are really smart
it's just been sold by a youth
It's made in Ching Dynasty
For people in Ching Dynasty concubines are common
Shit, I have screwed the queen
I would be executed
Master Bo, how many wives do you have?
We envy you so much of having 2 wives
7? Really?
Plus her, total 8
Can you give me one?
I don't want the one with the sword
I love the one with a hat her skin is so smooth
Go to hell!
Idiot!
Sorry, maybe, give me Siu Ha
it's not bad for hubby to marry some more girls
It's hard for one woman to serve a man
You haven't been to Ching Dynasty
why don't you go for a visit?
Look, my clothes are pretty
Look at you
Hubby, it's almost ready
Well...
Who are you?
What do you want?
Hubby, what's the matter?
What do you want?
How dare you let a princess beg you?
Do give me some face
You don't even want to be the queen what do you want then?
Protect the queen
Shang, you handle him
Block her way
Yes
Don't panic, let me handle this
He doesn't scare bullet protect the queen to leave here first
The Royal Sword!
It's short but it can kill
Shit, Siu Bo having trouble
Don't panic, I will help!
Hubby Siu Bo
He can't handle it
Hide up first
I am leaving, his head is too hard
Luckily we haven't stepped on the glass
Go to hell!
Control yourself, Your Highness don't be that impulsive
Don't pull me!
If you go out who will protect Her Highness and... me?
Wonderful!
Don't go, don't go!
Kneel down!
Shang
How is it? Do I need to pull it out?
Pull it out or stab in?
Help her!
Haven't you gone?
You can't go
you can't defeat them, let's go
It's like an echinus
Protect the queen
Fine!
I asked them to leave only I don't mean you
It's useless for me to stay me
Ask my master to adhere you now
Abracadabra!
No, not like this, watch me
"Scabies in the eyes, in front of the bed"
How is it?
It's useless
You must have missed one word
"Scabies in the eyes, in front of the bed"
Yes!
"Scabies in the eyes, in front of the bed"
Does it work?
I can't shout again, I am breathless
Are you Ok?
Master
Master, why are you going up?
Master, not up, but that way
It's lucky for Master to come on time
Beat him
don't scare him, he can't defeat you
Master, mind his head
Master, what's the matter?
What's the matter?
Hubby, where is Master?
He flies too fast
I can't tell where he is now
Help... help...
Master Bo
Master
Are you calling me? How come I become your master?
Save me first
I can't, he is at your back
Master
He scares electricity, gather the wires now
Tie him up, don't let him move
Pull from both sides
Pull, make it tighter
We want to kill you by electricity
Any casualties?
No. That's good!
The ancient people scare electricity they are useless
Don't you scare it?
Hubby...
I have a plan
Hubby, is my dress pretty?
Don't scare me
Sexy?
It's great!
Cheers, you should drink more
If there is holiday
come to visit us
If I were not killed
I would come to visit you
Good morning sir
Are you fooling me?
I have to court girls
Good morning sir
Uncle Wah, let's go for a toast
You play such childish game
Take care
You too
Silver?
Yes. It's made by silver
Are you willing to go back with me?
I have to visit my sister in Canada
Fine
Why don't you go with me?
Why don't you stay?
Siu Ha is crying there seems to be some problem
Take care!
Don't go, I have an idea
What idea?
From my experience of being a cop
there is only one solution
Think together
Damn!
Your Majesty, I can't finish the mission I should be punished
I am a king but how can I be so superstitious
I have almost ruined the whole kingdom
It's the history of 300 years later
it's marked that I'll be 60 years old
And I can make my country wealthy and strong too
How can I listen to your rubbish?
Men, take magician to the jail
Yes
Your Majesty, please forgive me!
Don't misunderstand although I have many wives
but it doesn't mean I am not sincere to them
It means, I am an affection man only
Look at them
It's really funny
Don't feel shy, I am used to it
Master Bo, Her Highness is
the most beautiful one among them
May I...
go and ask her
Really?
Let uncle hold your hands
Shall we go now?
Sure!
Do you mind me putting my hand on your shoulder?
I don't mind
Do you mind being courted by me?
I like it
She asked me to go ahead
Really?
Go to hell!