(Slow blues music)
(Animated chatter)
Can I have a drink, mate? Mate?
Can I get served here, mate?
Can I have a drink?
- (Barman) What do you want? - Yeah, um...
I want two, no, three... three pints of lager.
Oh, and, uh... three vodka and tonics.
And a... a drop of scotch. Half a lager and lime an' all.
Three vodka and tonics, yeah. Slice of lemon in 'em.
Oh, and, um, put an olive in that.
You got a tray, mate? Yeah? A tray?
- There's the other lager. - No, I want half a lager.
- Oh, right. - Half a lager.
- Lager and lime? - Yeah, lager and lime.
How much?
Ta.
Ain't you got no ice?
You got no ice?
(Man) Hello, John. All right? (Woman) All right?
Tom?
Tom, do the lights.
Evening, everyone.
What a miserable-looking lot.
(Man in audience) Fucking cheek!
Well, I'm back. Are you pleased to see me?
- (Audience) Yeah! - Serious?
(Audience) Yeah!
- (Whistling and cheering) - Thank you.
- What do you think of the tan? It's all over. - (Woman) It's out a bottle.
No, it's not bottle. It's all over. Except for the old carrots and onions.
I kept them covered up, cos you never know, this hole in the ozone, you know what they say.
But I go to France every year. Every year I go to France.
And I don't know why I go to France...
Oh, here he is. Look.
- Did you fucking pick them olives? - Wanna drink it or fucking wear it?
You seen Gus and Paula?
No. Might be in the other bar. I'll give 'em a shout if I see 'em.
- Where you going now? - I'll be back in a minute.
Where you going with all them?
- Talk to the geezers. What is it with you? - You're meant to be on a night out with me.
(Applause drowns out speech)
Yes! Yes!
Round of applause for our MC, Dave. Give it up for him.
(Applause)
About fucking time. We've been sitting here with our tongues hanging out.
I'm fucking melting here. Look at me.
Get them their fucking drinks. She's driving me fucking mad, she is.
I was telling him about that Deborah down in Bromley.
- What Deborah? - That fucking sort. Right good-looking sort.
- When we was carting up that... - Oh, the bank bird.
So, anyway, I get to the door, right. I ring the bell...
If it's true, yeah.
I ring the bell, right. I'm standing there. I'm waiting, right?
There's a geezer standing there in a see-through woman's negligee, right?
He's got all the fucking tackle hanging out. He's stark-bollock-naked.
- He's got a great big la-di-da. - One at both ends.
Yeah, but the cigar was bigger.
So he says to me, "Hello. You must be Mark. My wife Deborah's told me all about you."
"Drinks are in there. Party's through there."
And he's pointed at these doors. What do you call them doors in the fucking films?
What do you call 'em, in the cowboy films, them doors?
- Louvre doors. - Louvre doors, right?
So all of a sudden I'm stand--
- Sorry, mate. - All right, mate.
Cunt. Wants to sit in me fucking lap, don't he?
Anyway, so I go through these louvre doors, and you ain't gonna believe what I've seen.
There's about eight or nine couples all bang at it, right? There's fu...
It's an orgy. It's only turned out to be a fucking orgy.
There's arseholes going up and down. There's tits everywhere.
It's like watching a bluey. I'm thinking, "I'm having some of this. This is a bit of me."
So I've stripped down to me boxer shorts, sat down on the sofa,
picked up an album cover and I start rolling a joint.
Tell him about the bird bending over the sofa with the big Earthas.
There's a bird standing next to me, right? She's leaning over the sofa.
She's got the biggest pair of tits you've ever fucking seen. They are like that.
And I'm thinking, "I'd like to get hold of that."
But she's getting it from behind.
She is getting a severe portion right up the fucking Gary, right?
The bird looks down at me rolling the joint and she said to me,
"Oh, no, it ain't gonna be one of those parties, is it?"
(Laughter)
(Coughing)
- You all right? - Only heard that 20 fucking times.
You'll hear it 20 fucking more times. It's early yet.
Huh. Hello, Tone. It's Bill. All right, mate?
Yeah, uh, what's going on?
Yeah, Tone, we've been waiting here for an hour already, mate.
You turned your phone off. Do you know what I mean? What's...?
Come on, mate, you can't have-- Do you know what I mean?
You should have said-- That's bollocks. Tone, for fuck's sake, man.
You fucking left us hanging in the lurch.
- We're fucking shrivelling up. - Give us a bang on your beer, mate.
I'm fucking gasping. Good man. Fucking closing up in the throat.
(Man on phone) Come down and see me first.
- Fucking hell, that's nice. - See you later.
Cheers.
(Man on phone) Your phone's been off for a fucking hour, man.
You know what I mean? Tone, for fuck's sake, mate.
You're fucking us about. We've been waiting here for an hour for ya.
- Tell him to fucking hurry up. - I'm telling him!
- Well, tell him to fucking be quicker. - All right?
- Fucking hell. - All right, come now, yeah.
Blinding, all right. Yeah, it'll only take you ten minutes.
Then you can go and do your other thing.
- OK, mate. Yeah, yeah, OK. Ta-ta. - Getting me more and more.
Can I have another bang on that? He's fucking winding me up.
- He's coming now. Dan, he's coming. - When? Is that fucking definite?
- Yeah. - You're not fucking me about?
Oi, oi!
The drugs are arriving! Yes!
Lovely.
You dropped me off Wednesday night, right? I'm in bits.
We've caned the fucking gear.
So I go in the khazis, chop one up, sling it up me fucking hooter--
- I thought you said we was out. - That was a bit of personal.
- What's he like, "a bit of personal"? - It was a bit of personal.
It was a bit of personal, wasn't it?
(Comic) What a lovely lad. Yeah!
Oh, dear me, that care in the community is terrible, it really is...
Oh, here they are. Paula. Here y'are.
Murder trying to get here.
You should have been here at half seven.
- Tell me about it. - (Scottish accent) We took a cab to Catford.
Fucking accident. Traffic was down to one lane.
- We were in Lewisham for a fucking hour. - Roadworks all the way 'an all as usual.
- (Gus) Do you want a drink? - I want one.
(Horn beeps)
(Whistles)
- Tone, all right, mate? - (Tone) All right, mate.
(Man) Sorted, yeah? (Tone) You got two here.
(Man) I made it one. You want a ton, don't ya?
(Tone) Yeah. You got two bits here.
(Man) I want a bit of Bill as well. It's the good one?
- (Tone) You've got both of them there. - It's clean, innit?
(Tone) Oh, yeah, listen. Listen, one more thing.
Don't scream and shout down the phone. You don't know who could be listening.
And if I say I'm gonna be there, I'll be there.
- Don't pester me. - All right.
(Tone) Have a good night.
I just said it was the devil's music.
I bought a country and western album, and I took it home and I played it backwards.
And you know what you get when you them backwards?
You get your wife back, your house back, your kids back.
(Laughter and applause)
- And... - (Applause)
Now, don't fucking patronise me.
- (Laughter) - Sorry about that.
I'm a free-reiner. I cut them all off.
(Man) Bill? Billy!
- How's it going? - All right, mate?
- Did you get that bit of thing? - Yeah, yeah.
- Your family's over there, Bill. - Who, me mum?
- Yeah. Do you want a drink? - I gotta go somewhere. I'll see you later.
- Listen. Still on for Sunday? - Yeah.
- He's a mate. I can't be fucked about. - (Mark) It's a nice little earner, Bill.
- (Man) And you're in your whack. - I know. Yeah, lovely.
- I'll probably see you tomorrow. - (Man) All right. Listen.
- Stay off that gear. - All right.
This is important. There's a nice few quid involved here.
All right, mate.
- When is it? - Sunday.
When?
Sunday.
(Chuckles)
All right, away you go.
All right. See you later, Ray.
- See you later, Bill. - Ta-ta.
Am I a cunt or am I a cunt?
(Laughs)
- (Mark) Is he all right? - He was on that fucking gear. (Snorts)
- (Laughter) - (Comic) Sean Connery making toast.
(Laughter)
(As Connery) Ah. Yes.
Maybe I'll have two slices.
The best way to wind up an anorexic is tap them on the shoulder and go,
"You're putting on some weight, you fat cunt."
(Laughter)
Did I tell you that I only ever shag homeless women?
So much easier to get 'em to stay the night.
And after you fuck 'em, you can drop 'em off anywhere.
(Applause and cheering)
(Mark) So he gets up to go to the screw. He goes, "Good morning, guv'nor."
"I'll have a nice bit of egg and bacon, grilled tomato and fried bread."
- Does he think he's in a fucking hotel? - He's always fucking stronging it.
- So the screw went, "No, egg or bacon." - (Ray) What?
(Mark) So he went, "No, mate, I'll have a nice bit of egg and bacon."
He went, "No, no, no, you can have egg or bacon."
He went, "You're having a fucking laugh, you cunt.""
It's always been fucking egg and bacon. It's like salt and pepper, knife and fork.
- Horse and cart. - Fucking all that bollocks.
(Knocking)
- Hello, stranger. - It's only Bill.
About fucking time.
(Mark) So now he's got the raving fucking hump.
He's trying to say to himself, "Mind your business, mind your mouth..."
- You all right? - Yeah. Give us a kiss.
- Have you had a bath? - No.
I didn't think so. You don't half look soapy.
He's got the egg. Crunch. He's hit the fucking screw right in the eye.
- All right, mate? - All right, Bill?
All right, Mark? Hello, my little darling. What you doing?
- Bill. Did you get that parcel? - Yeah, it's on the table.
- No, the, um, you know... - Yeah.
- (Woman) You missed dinner. - I'm not hungry. Is Mum here?
- She's in the loo. Do you want a cup of tea? - Lovely. Two shoogs.
- Danny? - Got any orange juice?
- No, I've got Ribena. - Yeah, lovely.
(Mark) So you can imagine what he's fucking done.
Oi. I'll have a cup of tea. What am I, a spade?
So the screw's gone over. Well, it's fucking kicked right off.
Cos they're all waiting, on the wing, for someone to fucking start,
and it's took a London boy...
- (Bill) Who's this? - Micky Tyne. You wouldn't remember him.
He's more my age. He was a wrong 'un. He was a fucking lunatic.
(Mark) He hasn't even been there a fucking day.
He hasn't even got through fucking breakfast and he's caused a riot.
So he's down on the block. He ain't gonna see a fucking move to London for a three stretch.
We all went to school together. He was a fucking lunatic then.
- Here... - What?
Remember when we used to go over the Bonamy?
You know where your nan lives, Bill, the railway.
We used to go over there thieving.
Used to keep all the vans over there with all the catalogue gear.
There was fucking Littlewoods. What was the other one?
- Freemans. - Fucking Freemans
They were to us, yeah.
(Both laugh)
Yeah. Who'd he shoot, anyway? One of the firm?
No, this was off the plots, up the fucking road a bit.
What's happened is he's had a row with a couple of geezers outside a fucking club.
- Fuck me. What's that, a fucking oil rig? - Fucking hell. Red Adair's about.
(Laughter)
So he's had a row with these two geezers.
Fucking one's opened their mouth. It's come out the wrong way.
Next thing you fucking know, he's muttered the pair of 'em,
shot 'em with a fucking revolver.
Who the fuck's given him a revolver? He's a lunatic, the cunt.
- Who's this? - (Ray) You remember Micky Tyne.
Skinny geezer, long fucking hair. Got nicked once for breaking into a pound note.
Tight cunt. He was, wasn't he? Cunt.
Yeah, yeah. He's banged up at the minute. Where's he banged up?
- Up in Wayland. - For fucking murder.
Don't surprise me. He's like a time bomb waiting to go off, that one.
(Ray) I just said that, didn't I?
- El plankoss dossos. - (Mark) Dossos, yeah.
- Who'd he murder? - (Groans)
- (Snores) Couple of geezers. - (Mark) Outside a club.
(Both laugh)
(Ray) What?
Do you remember... Do you remember my heart attack?
Oh, fucking hell. Listen to this.
Listen to this, Bill. You'll love this one.
I'm thirty-fucking-two years of age, all right, and I have an heart attack, right?
So we're out... Well...
Me and him have been out on one for about, what, two or three days?
Been a bit naughty, you know.
So we're out on this fucking bender and we pull these two Richards.
Right fucking sorts they was, right? Weren't they?
Tackled up. I pulled one of 'em for about two or three weeks.
We're having twos-ups with 'em, and we're having chop-overs with 'em.
They're at it together. I still have a fucking wank on the strength of that.
All of a sudden we're sitting there. And I'm taking these pills.
They've got these pills for me... I was diagnosed, depression, right?
This is years ago, right?
And these pills, right, have got a fucking side effect.
Now, no one knows over here. The Americans know, right?
But we're the guinea pigs. We're dropping like fucking flies, us, right?
All down to them. So all of a sudden I'm sitting there, and do you know what?
Do you know what they reckon now? These pills make you violent.
Not proper violent, but weird shit, like fucking killing your mother and stuff.
- Don't wanna kill my mother-in-law for me? - Fucking she needs it.
And guess what they called 'em? Everyone used to call 'em the happy pill.
I mean, fuck's sake, that's a fucking joke for a start.
Happy pill? They was a cunt.
You couldn't piss, you couldn't shit, you couldn't come.
They could fucking suck 'em up their arses as far as I was concerned, right?
(Laughter)
But I used to give 'em to my cellmate when I was banged up in the Scrubs, in his tea.
- Remember Brian? - Horrible fat cunt.
This geezer had the biggest fucking head you've ever seen in your life.
It was like an armchair.
It was like someone had picked up a medicine ball and stuck it on his fucking shoulders.
So we're round Micky Tyne's house, right?
Now, we are bang on it, right? We are taking everything.
We're taking uppers, downers, sidewinders,
reddies, greenies, blueys, greenies, Auntie fucking Jeanies.
We're eating 'em. They're like Smarties. And we are out of it.
All of a sudden, I get these terrible pains right across me fucking chest.
- Braces were too tight. - Yeah. All across here, right?
All me arms start going numb. All me arms are going numb.
And I'm in fucking trouble. I'm bang in trouble.
All across me chest, right across here, all me arms, all tight.
And all me arms start going numb.
One minute I'm having a laugh and a joke. He thinks I'm mucking about.
Next minute, I'm on the fucking floor fucking screaming in pain.
So they've scooped me up, put me down in the motor, him and Micky Tyne,
and off to the hospital.
Micky Tyne wants to drive, right?
Now, the three of us are totally out of our fucking heads.
Micky Tyne is murder in a motor at the best of times.
(Ray) Fucking raving lunatic.
Someone walks in the way, he'll fucking run 'em over.
So we're flying down the Old Kent Road.
Next thing we know, we're down this one-way the wrong way, right?
There's this great big fucking bus in front of us
with the biggest black man behind the wheel you've ever seen in your life
and he's leaned out the window and he's going,
-"Where do you tink you're going?" -No, no, he was a spade.
He weren't a fucking Paki.
Don't no one go in there just yet. I think a rat's crawled up my arse and died.
You've been in there fucking 20 minutes.
- (Makes farting sound) - (Mark laughs)
Shut up. Thank you, darling. You been anywhere nice?
- Here and there, floating about. - Another cup of tea, Mum?
Yes, please, love. Make it a strong one. None of that shamrock shit.
- What's that? - Three leaves.
(Men make farting sounds)
- And give that cunt a dose of poison. - (Laughter)
(Ray) Don't fucking start, trappy Lil. (Mark) A nice little drop of wine?
A Piat D'Or or whatever it's called.
- All right, sweetheart? - Oh, careful. I'm all in pain and everything.
(Mark) Where's the glasses?
Where you going tonight? You sleeping here again?
No, he fucking ain't.
(Mark laughs)
(Inaudible)
'Shit.'
(Horn blares on TV)
(Whispers)
Popping out for a couple of hours, babe. Bit of mooching about. Won't be long.
Bill, don't get too comfortable. Don't forget tomorrow. Be about an hour.
I'm gonna get on, all right? Get rid of him. See you later, Jan.
(Front door closes)
Where's he going this time of night all suited and booted?
I don't know, do I? Don't care.
- Where you going tomorrow? - To help a mate out at work.
His work.
What work? He ain't got no fucking work.
If he wanted work, he could finish this room, couldn't he?
He's taking the piss.
(Mark) So we cop for him as he comes out the cafe, like we've arranged.
He gives him a fucking shot in the eye, a nice big black eye,
so it looks pukka, you know what I mean?
Fat Tommy thinks it's for real. He's hanging onto his legs.
- He won't let him go. - I've had to give him a fucking dig.
Come. Had to give him a dig cos the cunt's hanging on me leg.
When I've hit him, I think he's gone into fucking shock.
I hit him so fucking hard, I think I broke his jaw.
I've had to kick his fucking head in.
Stamping on his fucking head. Stamping on his fucking head, I am.
Claret everywhere.
He's forgot he's in the fucking coup, ain't he? He thinks he's being robbed.
Well, he is being fucking robbed, ain't he? Tell him about the gear next week.
(Mark) We've got a geezer we've been working on.
- (Siren wails) - He works in a warehouse.
Down at the west... He works in a warehouse.
You go in the front, moody, like you're gonna buy a bit of gear.
You slip round the back, he gives you a docket,
and he loads you up, whatever you want.
Don't tell him too fucking much. He'll go round there himself.
♪ Made the world for us
♪ But the devil made...
(Car horn beeps)
♪ Las Vegas
♪ Oh, Las Vegas
♪ You be the death of me
♪ City of sin Oh, what a mess I'm in
♪ Look what you've done to me
Shithole.
(Mutters)
- You gonna be like this all night? - No, I ain't gonna be like it.
I just wanna fucking be out of here. I don't even wanna be here.
♪ Hey, Las Vegas
♪ Can nothing save us from you?
Oh, fuck off. You're having a laugh, ain't you?
Oh, look at that.
(Laughter)
Get out of it. Don't start winding me up.
Oh, it's a blinding game, that, mate. It's like fucking Top Gun.
We'll have some of them marbles, eh?
All right, girls? How are you? All right, girls?
How are you? All right?
- Bill, fancy a bit of camels? - Camels, ten to one.
(Bill) Yeah, OK.
(Bell rings)
Go on, my son. Go on, my son.
- (Bell rings) - Go on, my son. Go on, my son.
- A tenner? - We'll have a fucking tenner, yeah.
(Shouting)
- Goon. - Go on! Go on!
(Shouting)
- Fucking ride it, you dozy cunt! - Giddy-up, you cunt!
(Shouting)
- Go on, number-four camel. - (Shouting)
Go on, then! Go on, then! Go on! Go on!
- Go on, my son! - Get in there!
(Shouting)
(Bell rings)
- Yeah! Number five! - Slippery cunt.
- Oh, my word! - Let's have a prize here.
- (Bill) I was cheating an' all. - He's won a prize, hasn't he?
Yeah, yeah, that's mine!
Whoo!
Lucky cunt. Another go, mate.
You just see the cheeks of her arse, right, and you say to her,
"Do a little bit of dusting over there, sweetheart, the coffee table."
And as they bend over, you give them a right good portion from behind...
(Mark whistles) Ray, over here, look.
Little bird in the glittery dress down there. Bit of you, mate. Good lot.
Just down there, look.
- Just there, look. - Here?
Sort.
- Do you wanna come in? - I'll come in you.
Will you? That's all right. Yeah, that'll do.
- Wanna see a nice show? - I wanna see you.
That's all right.
- Something to cuddle. - Cheers, darling. Thanks.
♪ Left me
♪ And a-gone away
♪ Well, my baby has left me
♪ And a-gone away
♪ You know my baby left me...
Hello.
(Mark) Right on the fucking arse.
- How old are you? -17.
(Mouths)
♪ If you see my little darling
♪ Tell her please don't go...
(Tap water runs)
(Clears throat)
♪ You know I love you, Sheila
♪ Don't leave me this way
♪ Yeah...
Go on, doll. Lovely, doll. Oh, my... Oh...
(Mark) Raymond! Go, go, go, go.
Over here, over here, over here. Raymond! Raymond!
There he is, look, look. Go on, Raymond. Go on, my son.
Yeah! Go on!
Oh, fucking bang to rights!
(Ray) Go on, doll. Go on.
(Music drowns out speech)
Ooh. Take it all the way down. All the way down.
Turn around, turn around, turn around.
On!
Yes!
♪ Baby, please don't go
♪ Oh, baby, won't you come home?
♪ Baby, please come home...
Give me.
- (Siren wails) - What's happened here? Look.
- What fucking happened here? - Look. It's Old Bill here, look.
Oh, have a look at that.
Oh, get on the geezer there, look. Slow down a bit. Look.
Oh, get on that. Look.
- I can't have none of that. Is he dead? - Oh, he's dead, mate. He's well dead.
Drive on, mate. Gives you the fucking horrors, don't it?
Phwoar.
Looks like hit-and-run.
(Sighs)
Poor cunt.
(Bill) You owe me 50 fucking quid.
(Ray) Pull the dough up and ['ll give you the dough.
(Bill) There's 100 fucking quid. You get me two grams. You owe me 50 quid.
(Ray) I'm getting the fucking horrors here. All right? How you going?
Yeah, not too bad. Stuart's in the Wimpy.
Is he? Tell him I wanna see him.
(Mark) Result.
Go on, my son.
(Car door closes)
Now, you watch and learn, Bill. You watch and learn, mate.
Watch him go to work.
- (Laughs) - (Bill) Fucking hell.
Fucking good shot. Go on, my son. Fucking sweet as.
Nice. See, what goes around comes around, Bill.
What goes around fucking comes around.
Nice one. Get in, mate. Come on, let's get lively.
Let's get the fuck out of here. Sweet as. Nice one, mate. Nice one.
Nice one. Did you feel that?
(Soul music)
(Slow blues music)
Ah!
- (Bill yells) - Get up. Get up. Get up.
- What's going on? - Get up. Get up! Get up.
- Where's my fucking gear? - What gear?
Don't fucking lie to me, you cunt. Where's my fucking gear?
- Where's my fucking gear? - I ain't done fuck all with your gear.
Don't lie to me, you cunt, else I'll knock you out.
- Where's my gear? - I don't know what--
Don't fucking lie to me! Where's my...?
Don't fucking put your hands up. Get your fucking hands off.
Bill, where's my fucking gear? Don't fanny to me.
Don't ever fucking fanny to me. Where's my fucking gear, Bill?
- Calm yourself down, mate. - Where's my fucking gear?
- Calm it. You looked for it? - What am I, some sort of cunt?
- What? - Where's my fucking gear?
- I don't know! - Don't fucking lie to me, Bill.
I'll fucking kill ya. Where's my fucking gear?
- Val! - What's going on?
- Mind your own business! - It's seven in the morning!
Don't side with this cunt. Where's my gear?
I ain't touched your gear!
Leave him! Ray, no, leave him!
- No, no, don't do that! - Cunt! Yeah? Yeah?
- (Val) No! - (Bill screams)
What are you doing to him? Fucking hell, Ray!
- You horrible bastard! Fucking cunt! - Get out of my fucking way!
- Get that cunt out my fucking house! - You get out! You're an animal!
You taking the fucking piss out of me, you cunt? There's your fucking clothes.
Get him out my fucking house now. Get him out!
I give him a roof, fed him, give him money, he fucking thieves off of me?
You fucking junkie little cunt. Get him out or I'll kill him.
Then I'll fucking kill you and your fucking slag shit cunt family.
I'll blow the fucking lot of you up. Get him out of my house now, cunt. Get him out!
Come and sit down, you. I'm fucking sick of this!
The pair of you, all the time.
You're gonna have to get that looked at. Look at ya. I'm fucking sick of it!
- It's gonna do my fucking head in! - (Ray) Valerie!
(Val) I'm coming!
(Lift whirs)
(Lift stops)
(Lift whirs)
(Child cries)
(Crying continues)
(Man) Careful with that.
Got a spare fag, mate?
Oh, blinding. Ta. Cheers, mate.
- Been in a fight? - Nah, nah, I'm a brickie.
Fell off some scaffolding at work. It's all right, it's only a scratch.
- Is that your boy? - Yeah.
Yeah, I've just had me fucking bike nicked from over there.
I needed it to get up the hospital. You know what I mean?
Couldn't lend us a pound, could you, mate, so I can get the bus?
I'll pay you back. I only live in the flats.
Gary.
Come on.
Thanks for the fag, yeah?
Come on.
(Slow blues music)
Excuse me. Have you got any spare change, please?
- Got any-- - I'm a busker, man. If I'd got some...
Got any spare change, mate, please? Any spare change?
(Blues music continues)
(Traffic passes)
(Man whistles tune)
(Horn beeps)
(Jan) What you done to your nose?
(Groans)
Raymond... gave me a love bite.
(Jan) Hello? It's me. You up?
Yeah. Yeah, they just give him some antibiotics. Yeah.
Yeah. No, they said leave it. It'll heal up on its own.
Yeah, it looked worse than what it was.
Yeah.
Yeah. Half hour. No, about 20 minutes ago.
You know what it's like up them hospitals late at night.
They're understaffed, ain't they?
Yeah.
Well, I thought I'd ring you up and let you know he was all right.
Yeah.
Yeah, I know.
Who's that in the background? Is he laughing?
Well, tell him from me he's an horrible bastard.
Next time I see him, he'll get a clump. Here, put him on.
No, he won't, will he?
Yeah.
Yeah, all right, love. Ta-ta.
I fucking hate that Ray.
I curse the day she ever laid eyes on that bastard.
Why doesn't she get out, leave him?
What, with a five-year-old and one on the way?
Don't be stupid, Mum. Where's she gonna go?
Up the fucking halfway house, living on the fucking social?
Why'd she get pregnant again if she don't like him?
Because she wanted another kid and didn't want a different dad, that's why.
He's not stopping the night. When he wakes up, he can go downstairs.
I know he's going downstairs. There's no room.
- I don't want him up here doing the drugs. - (Jan) Leave off, Mum.
- You all right, Bill? - Yeah.
(Mouths)
(Groans)
Oh, let us have a fag, Nan.
I left you a tea over there. Be cold by now.
(Woman on TV) 'Good night.' (Man on TV) 'Good night.'
(Music on TV)
(Man on TV) 'I was duly fitted for a dress in the finest silk,
with trimmings of English lace.'
'However, merely to dress as a woman was not enough to satisfy me.'
'It was imperative that I also be legally declared a woman.'
(Milk bottles clink)
(Yells)
(Banging)
'...by Robert Howgego, of Low Cottage Farm in Upwell,
which was a victim of spud crime.'
'Robert, can you tell us what was stolen?'
(Door buzzer)
- Hello? - (Bill) 'It's me.'
All right.
Don't make a noise, let her see you like that.
(Laboured breathing)
(Front door closes)
- Mum? - What's the matter?
- I need to borrow your van. - You can't borrow the van.
- Just give us the keys, Mum. - I'm going to work, Bill.
- Look at the state of you. - I need some fucking gear!
Keep your voice down. You'll wake her up.
- It's doing me up, mate. You don't know! - Where you gotta go?
- Where do you want me to take ya? - It's doing me up!
Where do you want me to take ya?
- The flats. - I fucking hate them flats.
Make this the last time. Don't make habit of it, Bill.
I'll sling some clothes on.
(Groans)
(♪ FRANCES: "Peculiar Groove")
Bill.
Cheers.
- Fucking hell, you took your time. - I know.
What you doing? Get in the fucking back. Don't do that here.
And keep down So no one don't see ya.
("Peculiar Groove" continues)
- You all right? - Yeah.
(Man on TV) 'Give everybody a celebrity wave at home. That's good.'
'OK, how about the old ice tea? Ice tea trays? Thank you.'
- 'Give him a round of applause.' - (Applause on TV)
(TV chatter continues indistinctly)
'So, Rachel, what have you brought?'
(Rachel) 'Actually, I've brought this...'
("Peculiar Groove" continues)
Have you got any spare change?
No? Neither of ya?
("Peculiar Groove" continues)
(Siren wails)
(Music ends)
- What you doing here? - Have you got any money?
Don't be silly. I gave you money this morning.
- What you done with it? - Well, something come up.
I had to fucking weigh off a mate of mine.
- What mate? - A mate, Mum. I owed him a bit of dough.
- I haven't got any money. - Oh, Mum, don't fuck about!
Don't raise your voice at me and show me up at fucking work!
I've got the pox of it.
How much do you want?
- A score. - I haven't got a score.
I don't go to fucking work so you can spend it on your fucking mates.
What have you done with the money I gave ya?
I've done that.
- What, on fucking gear? - Don't fuck me about!
Do you know how much you've had out of me over the last year?
- It adds up to fucking thousands. - How'd you work that out?
Because you've got a £60-a-day fucking habit
and I've been supporting it like some cunt!
- Just lend me a tenner, then. - I haven't fucking got any money!
- You ain't got a tenner? - No!
Bollocks, you fucking tight cunt!
- Oi! - I'll fucking get the money!
- I'll go and steal it! - And do plenty of bird!
And go back to prison like your fucking old man?
You horrible, selfish bastard!
(Plays mournful music)
(Slow blues music)
(Dog barks)
Val!
Valerie!
Ray?
(Lock clicks)
(Phone rings)
(Ringing continues)
(Ringing stops)
- Well? - (Val) She ain't seen him.
- (Jan) I don't know where he is. - Told you it'd be a poxy waste of time.
- I give Sue a bell. He ain't round there. - He ain't gonna show his face round here.
He might not be bright but he ain't no fucking mug.
I can't believe no one ain't seen him. He ain't hard to spot.
He's got a nose like Coco the fucking Clown.
It ain't funny, though, is it, Mum? I mean, it's a fluke I weren't in.
I'm usually getting her dinner at that time.
I was round the launderette. Fucking machine's broken.
(Jan) Where were you? (Val) He was playing snooker.
- (Jan) You all right? - Mm.
- Didn't call the Old Bill? - With my form? Don't be fucking stupid.
That's all I need, the Old Bill snooping about, making theirself busy.
It was Billy, Jan. The spare keys are gone.
What am I gonna say? They broke in with a key?
I'd look a right cunt, wouldn't I?
- You ain't keeping him up there? - No. Why?
I was just wondering. You know he's due a dig.
He's a thieving little slag. I'm gonna kick his fucking head in.
- Shut up. - You had a beer?
- Have I had a fucking beer? - Cos you get fucking lippy.
And you don't? You want a spank an' all?
You knock her about enough. You might as well do a job lot.
- Don't start, the pair of you. - Fuck off!
- (Jan) I'm not starting. - [ ain't having this bollocks.
He showed up at work, we had words and that was it. Fucking hiding him!
- (Footsteps) - Get indoors, Mother, you nosy fucking cow!
- It's got nothing to do with you! - In the car. I wanna get her home.
She has got a name. She was christened. Not that you fucking remember.
That was his mum's picture. Of all the things he could have fucking nicked.
- (Car door closes) - (Ray) Don't slam the fucking door!
(Whistles)
All right, Kath? Kath! Done all your work?
- Yeah. - Yeah?
Look. You ain't fucking done that, have ya? Have a look.
- Boom. Oh! - Don't you dare raise your hand at me.
What you gonna do, then?
Don't you worry, mate.
I could give you a kick in the balls. I ain't that old.
- What, you want a bit of that? - Get off.
- What? What? - Get off me.
What? I'm surprised you still know where a pair of bollocks are.
The last time someone was hanging out you,
they must have been fucking on horseback.
- Last time you had a trade... Kath! - (Door slams)
When was the last time you had a fucking trade, eh?
(Chuckles)
I'm only... I'm only fucking about.
Come... Come and give us a cuddle. Give us a little cuddle.
I want a cuddle.
(Chuckles)
Fucking hell. I only wanted a fucking laugh.
What's the matter with ya?
A fucking giggle.
A giggle.
Here, Kath!
(Laughing) Kath. Never lead with your fucking right hand, babe.
Cos if you lead with your right hand, left hook. Ping, ping. Ping, ping.
Bung.
Fucking does you left, right, centre, you know? Draw them in, babe.
Bing, bing... ping.
(Mutters)
My baby. I fucking love my baby. What are you fucking about at?
Mother? Love ya. I'm going out. See you later.
Love you! Bye.
(Front door closes)
Mum!
- Mum! - (Dog barks)
Nan!
(Girl) No, no, no, no.
No, Mum made it. It's real nice. Have a wee bit.
- No! No! - Just a wee bit.
(Paula) Kevin. Kevin!
Have a Yorkshire pudding. Have a Yorkshire. Have one of these puds.
- No! No! - Have one, go on.
- But you like 'em. - No!
- You gotta eat something. - (Knocking)
Whoever that is, tell 'em to fuck off!
Hello, William. What you doing here? Come in.
- Is me mum there? - She's in the living room.
Can you get her?
- Coming in? - No, I'm all right.
Janet. Janet, Billy's here!
(Gus) Billy boy, get your arse in here!
You've got some front, coming round here. Ray's on his way round.
He's just come off the phone. He sounds boozed.
- Yeah? So? - Well, he's fucked off.
He's got the hump over that picture.
- What picture? - (Giggles)
You walked off with his mum's picture.
(Laughing) What you done with it?
- What you laughing at? - I told him, Ray's upset about that picture.
We've had murders over that, you little git.
If you're coming in, get upstairs. He's on his way over with that Mark.
- Yeah? Fuck him. - What you done with the picture?
I sold it, mate.
- We'll hide you under the bed. - Nah, don't be daft.
- [ Only come up to give you this. - What's this?
That's for you and Nan.
Because, like, she lends me fags when I ain't got 'em.
She makes me cups of tea and all that lot.
You know what I mean? Bit flush at the minute, so it's all right, OK?
- See you later. - Billy, take it back!
- We don't want it! - No, that's yours.
I'll see ya. Maybe in the week. Ta-ta, Val!
I don't want Big Ray get holding of me! You know what I mean?
Well, you bring back that picture, right? It was his mother's!
(Laughter)
- (Bill) Mum, you still upset with me? - No! I love ya!
No, mate, I'll tell you what your fucking mate's done, right?
He's done what they call a cold shake.
Can't heat them up, mate. It fucking clogs the syringe.
You mix it with water, cold water.
No, warm water, yeah? Warm water.
Shake it till it dissolves, crush 'em up, and that's it.
I mean, you don't fucking pop 'em.
You get a buzz but you won't get a rush.
- You won't go out from that. - No, they was morphine.
No, that's morphine. They're fucking... They're pure, ain't they?
Oi, oi. All right, Schmuddie. Give us a fag.
- [ Ain't got one. - Well, what's that?
- A spliff. - I don't want a fucking spliff.
- I want a fag. - Do ya?
Fuck ya.
(Bill) I'll tell you something, John, people do not die from purity.
- The cut shuts down the system. - Have you got the cigarettes?
A bad cut will kill you faster than purity. That's a fucking fact.
It's the swag they put in it that kills you, John.
You got, like, one third heroin, right? Then you got your Dalmane.
That's your sleeping powder. That's your nod.
- Then you got a thing called quinine... - What are you, a fucking chemist?
That gives you the rush, all right?
And then you got all the other fucking crap they cut with it.
- What's that? - It's a dog, ain't it?
- Are you having a laugh? - It's a lovely little thing.
- Look, look. - It's my dog. It's lovely.
Looks like a fucking, um... gerbil.
Fuck off! It's a man-eater! Cunt.
- (Laughs) - Fucking gerbil. Look.
John, have a look. Looks like a fucking little gerbil.
- (John) Hello! - Fuck off gerbil!
- How can that be a dog? - It's gonna be a beautiful little thing.
- How old's that? Fucking hell. - About six weeks.
- No, that's a fucking week old. - Fuck off.
- Where'd you get it? - I found it.
- Well, fucking take care, mate. - Lovely, innit?
- It's a pretty little thing, ain't it? - Yeah.
We had a fucking dog years ago. Beautiful dog it was.
All Stations, it was.
- (Laughs) - What?
(All laugh)
No, that's what I used to call it.
That's what I thought they were saying when I was little, All Stations.
German Shepherd.
Judy, her name was. Yeah. Me dad fucking put it down when I was little.
I went on holiday with me nan, and, um, when I come back, right,
he's... he's fobbed us off with some right swaggy story
about how it had bit someone over the park.
Lying cunt.
I fucking loved that dog.
No, that... That broke my heart that did.
Do you know what I mean?
Fucking... That dog never bit no one, did it, though, Dan?
- No, lovely dog. - That's what I mean. That's what I mean.
You fucking, you know... You go away, right?
I went hop-picking with me nan, right? You come back...
The first thing that I wanted to do when I got back was to see the dog, right?
All right, cos I... cos I missed it and all that.
And, uh, it was fucking dead.
I tell you, man,
he was just fucking... mean, my old man.
Spiteful cunt.
He didn't care about what other people thought. He couldn't give a toss.
- (John) Do you ever see him? - Nah, fuck him, no.
He was dipper, he was. That's how he started off, full-on thief.
Fucking hell.
If it weren't nailed down, he'd have it in his fucking coat. Dan'll tell ya.
- Proper geezer. - Dan's dad and my dad used to fucking...
- Many moons ago. - Many moons ago.
They used to fucking run together.
(Car horns blare)
(John) So, what's he away for, then?
Oh, um...
Huh. What's he away for?
He loved his mum.
But, I mean, he loved her to bits,
and he found out that his dad was having it off with some young bird, right?
So, um, he went round there and, like, waited outside her house.
Waited all night.
When she got up in the morning and, like, come out to get the milk in,
he fucking stabbed her.
That's it, stabbed her to death, then went to try and do the old man.
He didn't die, the old man.
I seen him once or twice.
But, yeah, they banged him up. Aimed the fucking--
- Oi, mind the fucking dog! - Fuck off!
(Shouting)
Hold the fucking dog! Come on, then, you fucking arsehole!
- Lads, all right! - Do you want it with me, you fucking wanker?
- Dan, that's enough, mate. - Fucking have it with the dog, you fat cunt!
- You fucking stupid-- - Oi! What's going on?
- You fucking arsehole! - Dan. Dan.
- Wanker! Fucking arsehole. - Where is the dog? Is it all right?
Look at the size of the fucking dog, you arsehole! It's fucking shaking.
Where's the dog? Is he all right? What happened?
- He's fucking shaking! - You think that's clever?
- He's got a fucking dog in his hands! - I'll sort it out.
- Sort what out? - Fucking arsehole.
- What the fuck is that all about? - Fuck's sake. What's the matter with you?
Fucking hell. Look at it. Fucking cunt.
- (Bill) Don't think so. - You cunt, you want it?
You fucking wanker!
Do you want it, you cunt? Do you want it with me?
- (Bill) Fucking hell. - Bollocks!
(Bill) Fucking hell.
(Horn blares)
(Pool balls clink)
(Tuts)
- (Ball clunks into pocket) - Ooh, lovely.
- (Balls clunk into pocket) - Oh!
- Two shots. - Two shots.
- Pah! - Finish the game up here. Watch.
- (Val) No, you won't. - Watch.
(Val) No.
Ah! Serves you right.
(Jan) He weren't like that all the time. What? What?
- No, nothing. - (Laughter)
I'll double this one now.
See? Like that.
(Chuckles)
(Man) Watch this one.
- How many shots is that? - (Val laughs) 28.
(Man laughs)
Long one, in the corner pocket.
(Val) What to go for?
I wanna go for that one there, but I'll have to chip it round the side.
Oh, hello.
- Where'd you go? - Here.
Come out for a drink with Mum. You were sparked out on the settee.
- I told Mark where I was. - You coming home?
- Yeah, in a bit. - I'm going home now.
Well, why don't you stay and have a drink?
No, I don't want a drink. I've had a drink.
- I'm going home. Are you coming? - Yeah, in a bit.
- How long are you gonna be? - I don't know. I'm gonna finish me drink.
Where's your drink? You ain't drinking your fucking drink.
You're playing pool. You can have a fucking drink at home.
No, it's over there with Mum.
Don't worry about it. I'll catch up later. I'll get a cab.
I've gotta pick Michelle up from Nan's anyway.
Don't worry about it, Ray. I won't be long.
I won't tell you again.
Put the fucking cue down, drink your fucking drink
and get in the cunting car now.
Do as you're fucking told.
(Man) Lighten up, Val. Take your shot, love.
- (Jan) He's fucking upset her. - Give us me jacket, Mum.
- What's the matter? - He's got the hump about something.
(Jan) Pissed off with him, I tell ya.
- I'll give you a bell tomorrow. See you, Paul. - Look after yourself.
- (Jan) Be careful. - See you, Val.
- (Jan) What's the fucking matter with him? - She's fucking pregnant.
He was going mental. He had a right pop at her.
- Did he have a go at ya? - At her. I thought he was gonna give me a dig.
- All right, babe? - All right, Mark?
Where we going first? Your nan's? Pick up Michelle?
(Ray) Yeah.
'You know something, man? I know something that you don't know.'
'That's right, Jack. The man is clear in his mind
- but his soul is mad.' - (Dan) But his soul is mad.
'Oh, yeah.'
- 'He's dying, I think.' - (Dan) He's dying, I think.
(Both) He hates all this. He hates it.
(Both) But... the man's a...
(Both) He reads poetry out loud, all right?
(Both) And a voice...
(Both) A voice.
(Both) He likes you cos you're still alive.
(Both) He's got plans for you.
(Both) No, no. I'm not gonna help you.
(Both) You're gonna help him, man. You're gonna help him.
(Both) What are they gonna say when he's gone?
(Both) Cos he dies when it dies, man! When it dies, he dies!
(Both) What are they gonna say about him? They gonna say he was a kind man?
(Both) He was a wise man? He had plans? He had wisdom?
(Both) Bullshit, man!
(Both) Am I gonna be the one that's gonna set him straight?
(Both) Look at me. Wrong!
(Both) You.
(Dan laughs)
(All laugh)
(Thunder crashes)
(Ray) Val? Val. Val.
- Wake up. Wake up. I wanna talk to ya. - What's the matter?
Come on, downstairs. Come on. I got something for ya. Get up now.
Val.
(Groans)
What's the matter?
Ray?
(Ray sniffs)
- What's going on? - What?
- What's going on? - What you on about?
Who was the cunt you was playing pool with?
- Who? - The cunt you was playing pool with?
Well, that's Peter. Peter Murray.
Peter? Peter Murray? Who's Peter Murray?
Well, he's a mate of Gus and Paula's.
When'd you meet him?
- What's brought all this on? - When'd you meet him?
- Ray, I don't know. - When'd you fucking meet him?
Meet him? I just know him! He's a mate of Gus and Paula's!
I've seen him when I've been round there!
How many fucking times you seen this Peter?
- What, are you fucking rumping him? - Oh, don't be stupid!
- Are you fucking him? - I look like a fucking barrel!
- Who'd fancy me? - Tell me fucking straight!
- Are you fucking him? - I can't be doing with this.
- Don't fucking walk away from me! - I need a cigarette!
Want a fag? Have a fucking fag! Come here now, cunt!
Come here!
Why are you going round there? You fucking him?
That Angus, did he fix you up with one of his little mates, the cunt?
No, I go round there cos I can't stand this.
- Oh. Oh! Oh! Oh! - I can't stand you!
- So it's true? - What's true?
- You said you can't fucking stand me! - I can't stand this all the time!
- What? Fucking what?! Fucking what?! - What do you mean, what?!
- Fuck you! Fuck you! Cunt! - No!
Get up, you cunt!
- (Sobs) - Cunt! Cunt!
Cunt! Cunt! Cunt!
(Sobs)
You go to your mother's, to the fucking hospital, I'll kill ya. You stay here!
You want a drink, you fucking drink here.
You fucking...
(Grunts)
Go to bed, babe. Go on, go to bed.
(Cheering on TV)
(Knocking)
Oh, fucking hell.
(Jan) Val, Michelle, it's only me.
(Front door closes)
(Sighs) Hello, darling. Only popped in for a quick cuppa.
- It ain't half bloody cold out there. - Go and watch the telly. Good girl.
Oh, my God! What you fucking done?
Fucking hell! Good God!
- What's the matter with ya? - It's all right, Mum. I got run over.
What do you mean, you got run over? Where?
- Round by the shops. - Who run you over?
I don't know. It was a hit-and-run, weren't it?
Didn't no one see it? No one there? No one clocked the number?
[ Don't think so. Look.
That's where he hit me. There, see?
See? With the side of the headlights, right?
And then I went smack into the road on me face.
And then, when I looked up, he'd gone.
I mean, it was lucky I didn't have Michelle with me,
cos he'd probably have hit her as well.
He'd have fucking killed her.
I mean, didn't no one see it? No one mooching about?
No, it was down the back, down by the old shops, down there.
- Weren't you looking? - Yeah, course I was looking, Mum.
He... He just seemed to come out of nowhere.
And then, when I looked up, the fucker had gone.
You're fucking lucky. I mean, what's the hospital say?
Is the baby all right?
Yeah, you know, they gave it a whatsit, x-ray, scan thing,
and, you know, they had a little look an' that.
It's just bruising and that, but it don't half hurt, Mum.
- Look at me fingers there. Look. - Oh, my God.
They hurt the most. They hurt more than this.
- (Jan) Are they broke? - I don't know.
(Jan) Well, didn't they say?
No, they sort of concentrated more on the baby, didn't they?
Fucking hell. Fucking bastards.
If it had been going any faster, it could have... killed you.
You could have been dead.
- Do you want a cup of tea? - Oh, yeah, please, Mum.
Oh, God. Every time I fucking move, it hurts.
- Can I have sugar in it? - Yeah.
'Let's have a look..."
(Woman speaks indistinctly on TV)
Mummy's just going to the toilet, OK?
(Music and indistinct talk on TV)
(Groans)
Oh...
- Michelle? - Yes?
Come here a minute, darling.
Will you go next door and get Auntie Pat? There's a good girl.
- (Front door opens and closes) - Oh, God.
(Sighs)
It's murder, really, innit?
God, if they only fucking knew.
What a bastard.
A cyanide pill'd do him good.
You gonna nick him?
Oh, yeah, but then it's my turn.
Does he know where you are?
Not yet, no. I'm in a moody name, ain't I?
Jill don't know, does she? She's got a right mouth on her.
No, he won't go snooping round there.
- Billy knows. - Does he?
How? Did you tell him?
I put the phone down from you and he showed up, saw I was upset.
- Did he go mad? - Well, he weren't too happy.
Said he hopes he gets run over or has a heart attack.
- Nan don't know, does she? - Yeah. Why?
- Oh, Mum. - (Coughs)
I just don't want anyone knowing.
People know enough about your business as it is, nosy fucking mob.
Not Nan, you know. I... I just don't want anyone knowing.
Oh, God, Val.
Right unlucky, ain't we?
Do you still love him?
(Coughs)
There's bits in that.
I've got another headache.
- Do you want an aspirin or something? - No, I gotta wait.
I had the last two an hour ago.
(Bill sings)
(Bath water splashes)
(Continues singing)
♪ Too many fish All gone, yay, yay
♪ Oh, oh, oh
(Continues singing)
(Speaks indistinctly in Jamaican accent)
Bill, don't soak in there all day.
Mum!'ll be home in a minute and she'll only have the hump.
(In Jamaican accent) You can't even leave me to soak for two minutes, man.
You mustn't vex me up.
(Continues in accent) Leave me to soak, man. Leave me.
Every man must have his bath, you know what I mean?
Chat!
- (Kath) Love to Michelle? - Yeah.
M-I-C-H...
- Yeah. - ..E-L-L-E.
That's it. There you go.
That's it. Go on, let it go.
(Ray) Give me my fucking kid! Get her out here now!
Cunt! Cunt! Give me my kid, you cunt!
Oi! She don't wanna fucking see ya!
Get me my kid out here now! Fuck you! My kid! Get her out here now!
- I'll fucking bury ya. - You horrible bastard!
She's lost the fucking baby because of you!
Oi! Less of your fucking noise, mate!
(Jan) You can threaten me all you fucking like!
Look at this cunt. Go back inside, you nosy cunt!
Get back inside your window, mate, and mind your own fucking business!
Go inside! I'll fucking come and smash your window!
I'll fucking kick your door down and ['ll throw you out the window, you cunt!
- Cunt! - You fucking mongrel shit cunt!
Fuck you! I'll fucking kill you, you cunt!
(Mark) Get back inside! That's it!
- I'll phone the bloody police! - You fucking phone who you like!
- (Screams) - (Ray) Fuck you!
I'll fucking find her, and I'll come back and I'll do you, you cunt!
Fucking mug! I'll get a fucking gun.
Just give me a fucking gun. Someone give me a gun.
I'll fucking kill her. I'll kill that cunt. I'll fucking kill you, you cunt.
Get back in the motor, come on. There'll be Old Bill here any minute.
- Oi, cunt! Oi - (Mark) Don't fucking worry about him.
- He's still looking out the fucking window! - Get back in the motor. You get inside!
- You got a pen? Get a pen. - Get back inside!
Get your fucking pen! B368 EJM, you cunt!
The Old Bill's already got that fucking number!
Call the Old Bill! Get 'em in there and I'll fucking shoot 'em all.
- You nosy cunt! - You and whose fucking army, you cunt?
I'll stab you in the brain, you cunt.
Get me out of here before I kill someone. Get me fucking out of here!
I'll kill some cunt!
(♪ FRANCES: "Peculiar Groove")
Just hold back from him a bit, Mark.
- Hold up. - I can't.
No, just hold up, hold up. Don't get too fucking close.
(Mark) Oh, that's a touch.
Fucking liberty.
Come on, come on, come on. Come on, through the lights.
- On this cunt. - I got him.
(Ray coughs)
Hold back a bit. We're too fucking close.
He's gonna see us in the fucking mirror.
Val? Val, I just wanna talk to you. Just two minutes.
- No, go away. - Go near her and I'll have you nicked.
- Get out the fucking way. - (Jan) Don't fucking touch me!
- I'm gonna call the Old Bill! - (Paula) Leave it, Gus!
- (Gus) Bastard! - All right, that's enough!
That's e-fucking-nough!
(All shout at once)
(Paula) It's nothing to do with you! Fuck off!
(Gus) Fuck off.
(Mark) Fucking liberty. It's all right when you're fucking coming from behind.
(Paula) Look at her face!
(Mark) Fucking mug cunt.
Oh, yeah, what he done weren't a fucking liberty, was it?
All right, come on, get up.
No.
(Gus) Lock the doors, OK. Don't worry, I'll get Janet.
Let's go. Lock the doors.
Jan?
(Ray coughs)
Janet! Come on, darlin'.
- I told a nurse to ring for the police. - Lock the doors and we'll wait for 'em.
- I'll have you, you bastard. - (Mark) Fucking get in the car.
(Gus) Keep the doors locked, all right?
(Groans)
Oi. Is that you?
I've come here to say I'm sorry.
And all of a sudden you've got that fucking trap going to me,
"Shut your fucking noise or we'll nick ya."
Nick ya? Me?
Nick me?!
Nick fucking me?!
All I wanted... All wanted to do is fucking have a rabbit.
And I've got that Scotchman hitting me on the chin,
kicking me, making me look like a complete cunt.
Cos he's gonna get it. He will... On my baby's life.
I can't... I can't let it go.
I can't let it go. I can't let it go.
- (Fireworks bang and whistle) - (/ ADAM FAITH: "What Do You Want")
Hurry up.
Hurry up with the sausages.
(Girl) Hurry up!
- He's burning 'em. - (Boy) Look. He's burning it.
- Get on with it, you lot. - (Jan and Paula singing)
- (Phone rings) - (Boy) Have a KitKat.
(Jan) Phone! Phone!
(Boy) Phone! (Girl) Hurry up!
- (Gus) OK, OK. - Phone!
- Yes, OK! - (Music continues)
Hello? What?
Who?
Val? Yeah, hang on. Yeah, hang on.
Val! Val, that's for you. Something important.
♪ When you want me to
♪ Don't turn around cos I'll be missing
♪ Then you'll want my love, baby Well, I'm offering...
Hello? Hello?
(Music continues)
'Hello?'
'You taking the piss? There's no one there.'
Cunt.
(Kicks wall)
Val? Val, Val, Val.
(Chuckles)
Uh... Yeah, I know, I know.
I'm a mug. I'm a cunt. You know what I'm like.
I love ya.
And I'll love you forever.
Forever.
I know. I know. I'm a mug. I'm a cunt.
I've always been a cunt. You know I've been a cunt.
(Laughs)
- (Bottle clinks) - Hold it. Hold up.
You know how long you've been fucking with me, right?
I ain't drinking. No, I ain't on it. I ain't on it.
I ain't... No, I'm not on it. Babe, I promise you I'm not on it.
I'm not on it. I swear on my life I'm not on it, right?
Cunt. No, just listen to me, right? Will you just listen to me?
I had a little boy I loved to bits. That's my boy.
But I was with you. You fucked me off before.
No, no, you fucked me off before.
I come at you cos I love you to bits, right? And you push me. You fucking...
No, you fucking push me. You took liberty with me.
And you shouldn't push me. You know how far to go with me.
If you've been mad at me and you've been with me that fucking long,
you should know.
Am I wrong? Am I?
- Am I fucking wrong? - (Fireworks bang)
I've never been wrong in my life, babe.
I'll stand up and I'll fight. I'll fight him.
'll fight him forever.
I'll go ping, ping, ping.
Whoo, whoo, ping.
You fucking mug.
(Sobs)
I love you.
(Sobbing continues)
(Fireworks bang)
(Sobs)
You can't fucking hurt me.
(Drops ring)
You can try and hurt me.
You... You can try.
You can try.
Every fucking...
rule in the fucking book, cunt.
No! No! No!
It don't matter.
It don't matter what I've done to her. It don't matter what I've done to her.
Come down. Come down. Come down. Come down.
Babe. Babe. Babe.
I love ya.
Of all... all the things in my life I love, I love you.
(Whispers) I love ya.
(Door buzzer)
- (Ray) Val. - (Door buzzer continues)
It's me, Ray.
(Door buzzer)
(Kath whispers) What is it? (Val whispers) It's him.
- I'm so sorry, Nan. - (Ray sobbing) I'm sorry, babe.
I'm sorry.
(Ray continues, indistinct)
(Door buzzer)
Michelle?
- Michelle. - (Door buzzer)
- Val. - (Kath whispers) What's he doing?
(Banging)
Val! Valerie!
(Banging)
(Whispers) I'm telling ya, if he comes in here...
- (Banging) - (Whispers) Just go away.
(Ray) Just, truly, I just wanna see my baby, Val.
I wanna see my babies, Val.
Val.
Fucking cold.
Mum. He's not here. He ain't in. You'd better have a look, though.
Oh, my God.
What's he fucking done?
It's unbelievable, innit?
Fucking state of it.
He had a right fucking party.
Here, look. They had fireworks in here last night.
(Val) Mum!
Fucking hell.
(Ray) She took his dinner in to him once, me mum, you know, in the pub.
Plonked it in front of him on a tray. Knife and fork, salt and pepper.
He said, uh, "What's that?"
She said, "It's your dinner. I thought you might be hungry."
"You ain't eaten for three days. You live in here, you might as well fucking eat in here."
Give us one of them.
He didn't like that, did he? Mugged him up in front of his mates.
Thought more of them cunts than he did us.
Lovely.
Yeah.
She got a clump over that. Well, she would, wouldn't she?
(Coughs)
He was always, um, always pissed in there, weren't he, you know?
I mean, we go in the pub to get a living, you know.
- It's where we do our business. - Mm.
He'd be in there spunking up the wall. We're sitting at home, not a deaner.
(Sniffs)
And he'd, uh... promise things, you know.
Promise to take us places, you know. Never did. Never took us anywhere.
And when he did bother to come home, he'd... he'd sit in that fucking chair,
you know, doss off with his tray on his lap, right?
And I'd... I'd just stand there looking at him.
I'd look at his face.
And my mother'd go upstairs, and I'd say, uh...
I'd say, "Mum, ain't... Ain't Daddy coming to bed?"
And she'd say, "No, no, he's all right, son."
"He'll come up when he wakes up."
- He's gotta wake up to go to bed. - Go to bed, yeah.
Now, I'd stand there looking at this fucking old man,
you know, my dad, you know, in that...
in that horrible fucking chair with the shiny worn-out arms.
I should have burnt the fucking thing.
(Sighs)
By the end he was haemorrhaging from both ends, you know.
I used to hear him in the morning hanging onto the khazi. It was lovely.
Never stopped him going to the pub, though. No, well enough to do that.
Now, one day, right, he's staggering across the pub, pissed from the night before.
He's gone over, crunch, right on his mooey, like a fucking ironing board.
Hooter's round there. His railings are all over the fucking place.
Me and me mother go up the hospital to see him.
We walked in, he's laying in the bed. He's got tubes up his arms.
Up his nose, down the back of his Gregory. He didn't look well.
- Fucking vodka was keeping him alive. - (Chuckles)
I ain't that interested so I'm having a little mooch about.
I've looked above his bed and there's this sign, right,
with some weird writing on it.
I didn't read too well at the time.
I said to my mum, I said, "Mum, what's that say?"
"You know, on that sign above Daddy's head?"
She said, um, "Nil by mouth."
I thought, fuck me, what's that, a football score? Like one-nil, two-nil?
Like a geezer called fucking Nil. Yeah.
I said to her, "Well, what's it mean?"
She said, um, "It means, you know, when they..."
- It means nothing to eat, don't it? - Yeah.
- Nothing... - Nothing down...
- Yeah. - Yeah. Right?
And I... I remembered that day, right?
Cos I could have put that on his fucking tombstone, you know.
Cos I don't remember one kiss, you know, one cuddle, nothing.
I mean, plenty went down. Not a lot come out, you know.
Nothing that was any fucking good.
And I'd... I'd... look at this man that I call Dad, you know, my father.
I knew him as Dad. He was my fucking dad, but...
But he weren't like other kids' dads, you know.
It was as if the word itself was enough.
And it ain't.
That ain't when he died, though, is it?
No. He lived another ten years, slippery old cunt.
He died one afternoon in that fucking armchair. About right.
I went round to see him when he was plotted up round me mother's.
- Hatcham Road? - Yeah.
He was upstairs, you know, in that front bedroom, laid out.
I've gone up there, gone in.
I'm sitting on the bed looking at him. He's laid out like that. Muttered.
And it was like he'd shrunk, you know.
- He was a big man. - He was a lump.
Yeah, I fucking should know. I got enough clumps off the cunt.
(Sighs)
And I... [ just, you know, I touched him, you know.
He was fucking freezing cold. Frightened the life out of me.
I was looking at him, you know...
For the first time in my life I talked to him.
I Said...
"Why didn't you ever love me?"
(♪ FRANCES: "Pandora" )
(Singing in a foreign language)
♪ Hey, mama
♪ Don't you smoke
♪ Don't you know how much I choke?
♪ Hey, mama
♪ Who's to blame?
♪ For the birth of a race I was born to make?
♪ Last chance to paradise
♪ Open your eyes
♪ Last chance to paradise
♪ Open, open
♪ Last chance to paradise
♪ Open your eyes
♪ Last chance to paradise
♪ Hey, mama
♪ What's for me?
♪ Is there a beauty left to see?
♪ Take so much
♪ Made with love
♪ So how come I feel it but there's no touch?
♪ There's no touch
♪ Last chance to paradise
♪ Open your eyes
♪ Last chance to paradise
♪ Open, open...
I'll kill ya!
- (Dan) Billy! - (Car horn beeps)
(Man) Oi, oi!
- Fuck! - Where do you think you're going?
- (Dan) It's locked! - Open the fucking door!
Try the back! Dan, try the back!
- It's a fucking toilet! - You got a key to that door?
- No, man. - Open the fucking door!
- I can't! It's the place upstairs! - (Dan) Oh, fucking hell!
- (Bill) Mate, can you open the door? - Open the fucking door!
- Hey, you! I'll fucking take this knife. - Fuck!
I'm gonna stab you right in the fucking arse, you little cunt!
Yeah, you, you cunt! I'll fucking kill ya!
You got the wrong couple of geezers, pal.
I don't know why the fuck you're upset. It's got fuck all to do with us.
- What have you done? - Nothing, mate.
- Must have done something. - Don't open the fucking door!
I'm not gonna open the door! He's got a knife in his hand!
- (Dan) Shit! We're fucked! - Bastard! Open the fucking door!
(Man) Sorry, man, I can't. Nothing to do with me, mate.
You thieving little bastards! I'll kill ya!
I'll fucking kill ya!
- (Dan) Game plan? - (Banging on door)
We're fucked.
(Man) Hey, mate, it's got nothing to do with me!
(Banging on door continues)
We're fucked. Why ain't you got a fucking back door?!
- I just work here! - You fucking mug! Fuck!
(Dan shouts indistinctly)
Last week when I was out with what's-his-name, that cunt Peter.
He had two birds with him. One was a little shit.
Fucking hit himself in the eye.
- I was out with that cunt Peter last week. - All right?
(Dan continues shouting)
(Grunts)
(Exhales)
Does Mum know you're here?
No.
Happy birthday. Got you a little something.
Where you been hiding?
At Mark's.
I saw the flat. It's lovely.
Heard about Billy. What'd he get?
Two and a half. I gotta get this shopping in. I gotta do Mum's hair.
Val. Val.
Do you still love me?
Do I still love ya?
Why'd you do it, Ray?
I do it...
I did it cos I love ya.
If that's your way of showing it, you're a sicker fucker than I thought.
- You wanna get some fucking help. - Val, I'm gonna stop it, the booze--
Change the record, for fuck's sake.
If I could put me hand down me throat and pull me heart out, I'd give it you.
She's performing again, the other one, giving me plenty of grief.
- Who, Mary? - Yeah.
She won't let me see me boy so it's all starting up again.
I suppose ['ll be back in court.
It's my turn to see him, I've gone round to pick him up, she ain't there.
- She's fucked off somewhere. - Where?
I don't know. I've been round her mother's. I've rung round.
It's just another worry on me plate, what with everything else.
She's stupid, cos it only hurts the kid in the long run.
I know you love that boy, but you don't do yourself any favours.
- I've never touched that boy. - No, I never said you did, did I?
But you do hurt people.
I've really thought about this, I've really thought about you,
and at the end of the day the only person you're fooling is yourself.
You ain't fucking taking the piss out of me no more. You're mugging you.
(Sighs)
I found your picture.
What?
- The one Billy took. - Oh.
Oh, I'm going indoors. It's a fucking mess.
How's your mum?
Well, she's worried, ain't she?
She's worried about Billy. She's worried about me.
Coming home?
We ain't got a fucking home to go back to, Ray.
Everything in that place is fucking smashed.
Jesus, I mean, I feel like you really must hate me.
- I don't hate ya. - Well, I don't feel loved.
I mean, that ain't love.
Fuck.
I mean, can't you see the mess we're in?
Have you not noticed what we're like?
- Mean, we don't talk anymore. - (Door opens)
If you go-- Just get in, Mum, will ya?
Just get in. I'm dealing with it.
(Door closes)
When you go out, you go out with your mates.
When you are indoors,
you're pissed out of your brains, asleep in front of the fucking television.
I turn the television off, go up to bed,
you follow me up at three in the morning stinking of booze.
That's what I get. Either that or you're knocking me about.
I'm 30 today, you know, and I feel so fucking old.
You know, I'm so tired.
I wanna be able to look back and say, "Yeah, I had a bit of fun", when I'm old,
instead of saying everyone fucking felt sorry for me.
I mean, that's the life I've got.
Do you hear what I'm saying?
I just don't want it.
I'll... I'll find somebody else, you know.
Someone who can love me.
Someone kind.
I'll send Michelle your love.
(Door opens)
(Door closes)
(♪ "My Heart Belongs To Daddy")
♪ While tearing off a game of golf
♪ I may make a play for the caddy
♪ But when I do I don't follow through
♪ Cos my heart belongs to Daddy
♪ If I invite a boy some night
♪ To dine on my fine food and haddie
♪ I just adore his asking for more
♪ But my heart belongs to Daddy
♪ Yes, my heart belongs to Daddy
♪ So I simply couldn't be bad
♪ Yes, my heart belongs to Daddy
♪ Da-da-da, da-da-da, da, da
♪ So I want to warn you, laddie
♪ Though I know you're perfectly swell
♪ That my heart belongs to Daddy
- ♪ Cos my daddy... - (Whispers)
♪ He treats it
♪ So well
♪ Well ♪
(Applause and cheering)
Yes! No problem. Come on, Mum, a song.
(Jan) Come on, Mother. (Paula) Come on, Mum.
- No. - (All talk at once)
- It's me birthday. - Come on. Come on.
- Get up there. Come on. - Oh.
(Cheering)
- "Lovin' That Man Of Mine", Nan. - (Applause)
- Go on. - (Whistling)
Go on, Mum.
Oh, yeah, thank you very much.
(Note played on keyboard)
(Kath sings note)
(♪ "Can't Help Lovin' Dat Man")
♪ Fish gotta swim and birds gotta fly
♪ I've gotta love one man till I die
♪ Can't help lovin' that man of mine
♪ Tell me he's lazy Tell me he's slow
♪ Tell me I'm crazy Maybe I know
♪ Can't help lovin' that man of mine
♪ Since he went away
♪ That's a rainy day
♪ And when he comes back
♪ The sun will shine
♪ He can come home as late as can be
♪ Home without him ain't no home to me
♪ Can't help lovin'
♪ That man of mine ♪
(Applause and cheering)
(Jan) That's when the geezer did him. Val spoke to the guv'nor.
She told him not to move him and that he was happy where he was.
She told him this was gonna happen
because that Danny's been putting the word about that Billy's a grass.
So the geezer that's done him ain't nothing to do with that Danny?
- No. - So, what are you talking about? Who cut him?
You remember when he got arrested, this is Danny, and we had that raid?
They turfed us out of bed in the early hours looking for them drugs.
Well, Billy, to get his own back at Danny for that, has put his name in the frame
over some job he's done that Billy had nothing to do with.
He's fessed up on the lot.
They were gonna rope him in, right? Danny's a burglar.
Billy ain't a burglar. He's a creeper. It ain't the same.
So he's helped the Old Bill. He's done a TIC with them.
"We did this, didn't do that," blah, blah, blah,
to help clear their books and mark Danny's cards.
So Billy's been sent to the Mount. Danny's doing his bird in Wandsworth
so he's put it about that Billy Rena's a grass.
So Mum knew it was gonna happen.
We got that phone call saying they were gonna cut his head off.
That's why we phoned the guv'nor.
But the geezer that cut him up has got fuck all to do with the Danny business.
It's over something else.
Yeah. Billy's got this mate who's doing a twelve and a half.
His girlfriend's turned up on a visit. They've had an argument over something.
She says, "You ain't the only one I've had it off with."
She's pulled Billy's name out the hat.
- Lovely. - Cos he's known her for years, that Lisa.
So this bloke's got the right fucking hump, thinking Billy's been giving her one.
He's got nothing to lose. He's banged up for another nine years.
It's nothing for him to kill someone, so he's done Billy on the exercise yard
for the thing with the bird, not with Danny.
It's got nothing to do with that. It's over the other thing.
So he's done him with a knife, a Stanley knife.
What amazes me is how they get the fucking things in there in the first place.
I mean, what's the geezer doing with a knife in the nick?
No, it was a moody thing, Mum.
It was like a toothbrush with a couple of them Bic razor blades bound round it, see?
So that's why Billy now is in the Fraggle wing with all the weirdos, isn't he?
See, he's been segregated for protection, hasn't he?
He's in there with all the nonces and the rapists and that, poor sod.
"Mind your backs."
He's a C cat. I mean, he shouldn't even fucking be there.
If we don't get a result by the end of the week, we'll have to take it to the local MP.
They'll have to move him, cos it'll happen again.
His card's marked, and this time the bloke will cut his fucking throat.
If Billy hadn't have turned when he did... How'd they get hold of a razor?
They ship them in, don't they? You'd be surprised what they get in there.
I used to have a bit of puff when I was doing me bird.
You used to bring it in, Val.
She'd bring it in, go in the khazi, pop it under the tongue,
come out, give us a kiss, right, a big Frenchy, weren't it?
All right.
I'd have it in me mouth and I'd swallow it, shit it out the next day.
You can get anything, drugs, the lot.
You'd have a hard job shitting a razor blade out, though.
No, I mean, you can get anything in there that you can get out here.
I mean, there's geezers in there doing all sorts, you know?
- He's off the gear, though, ain't he? - (Jan) Yeah.
No, he sounded good on the phone, didn't he? Poor little sod.
Anyway, we'll give 'em to the end of this week to do their paperwork
and hope it goes through.
Mum, come on! We'll be late!
Worst fucking nick going, innit? I hate it.
Every time I turn that corner, my stomach goes over.
Horrible hole. Fancy being banged up there.
- You got the VO? - (Val) Yeah, it's in me bag.
We'll be fucked without that. We'll get all the way there and won't be able to get in.
Looks nice. Done a good job, Ray.
Yeah, it's...
- Yeah, I'm ready. - (Jan) Got your ID, Mother?
- Yeah, in me bag. Me passport. - (Jan) Come on, then. Is the gas off?
Yeah. Off, off, off, off, off.
I've got me keys.
(All chatter)
- You all right? - Hope I don't start to cry.
- When? - When I see him.
(Chatter continues)
(♪ THE ANDREWS SISTERS: "Bei Mir Bist Du Schoen")
♪ Of all the boys I've known
♪ And I've known some
♪ Until I first met you
♪ I was lonesome
♪ And when you came in sight, dear
♪ My heart grew light
♪ And this old world
♪ Seemed new to me
♪ You're really swell
♪ I have to admit you
♪ Deserve expressions
♪ That really fit you
♪ And so I've racked my brain
♪ Hoping to explain
♪ All the things that you do to me
♪ Bei mir bist du schoen
♪ Please let me explain
♪ Bei mir bist du schoen
♪ Means you're grand
♪ Bei mir bist du schoen
♪ Again I'll explain
♪ It means you're the fairest
♪ In the land
♪ I could say bella, bella
♪ Even sehr wunderbar
♪ Each language only helps me
♪ Tell you how grand you are
♪ I've tried to explain
♪ Bei mir bist du schoen
♪ So kiss me
♪ And say you understand
♪ Bei mir bist du schoen
♪ You've heard it all before
♪ But let me try to explain
♪ Bei mir bist du schoen
♪ Means that you're grand
♪ Bei mir bist du schoen
♪ It's such an old refrain
♪ And yet I should explain
♪ It means I am begging
♪ For your hand
♪ I could say bella, bella
♪ Even sehr wunderbar
♪ Each language only helps me
♪ Tell you how grand you are
♪ Ree-dee
♪ Ree-dee, ree-dee
♪ Ree-dee, ree-dee, ree-dee
♪ I could say bella, bella
♪ Even sehr wunderbar
♪ Each language only helps me
♪ Tell you how grand you are
♪ I've tried to explain
♪ Bei mir bist du schoen
♪ So kiss me
♪ And say that you will understand.
Subtitling by Motion Picture Solutions