[ KNOCKING ]
>> JIMMY, SHOW IS IN TWO
MINUTES.
>> Jimmy: BE RIGHT THERE
STEPHEN?
STEPHEN, YOU THERE
>> YEAH, I'M HERE, JIMMY
I'M JUST TRYING ON A NEW
BANDANA.
I'LL TELL YOU WHAT, LET'S
CHANGE FREQUENCIES
THE WRITERS LISTEN TO THIS ONE
[ STATIC ]
THAT'S BETTER.
WHAT'S UP?
>> Jimmy: HEY, I JUST WANT TO
WISH YOU GOOD LUCK THIS WEEK
I KNOW WE'RE BOTH BACK WITH NEW
SHOWS.
SO, GOOD LUCK.
>> AW, THANKS, JIMMY
HEY, MAN, DO YOU WANNA DO THAT
THING?
>> Jimmy: RIGHT NOW?
>> YEAH.
LET'S DO IT.
>> OKAY.
♪ TURN AROUND
LOOK AT WHAT YOU SEE
IN HER FAC
THE MIRROR OF YOUR DREAMS ♪
♪ MAKE BELIEV
I'M EVERYWHERE
GIVEN IN THE LIGHT ♪
♪ WRITTEN ON THE PAGE
IS THE ANSWER TO A
NEVER ENDING STORY ♪
♪ AHH ♪
>> HEY
YOU'RE DOING THE THING FROM
"STRANGER THINGS."
>> Jimmy: WHAT
>> THE THING FROM
"STRANGER THINGS."
THE "STRANGER THINGS" THING.
LOVE THAT THING.
>> WHY WAS HE TALKING ABOUT
"STRANGER THINGS"?
>> Jimmy: I DON'T KNOW
NEVER SEEN IT.
♪ NEVER ENDING STORY ♪
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
♪
>> Steve: FROM 30 ROCKEFELLER
PLAZA HERE IN NEW YORK CITY,
IT'S "THE TONIGHT SHOW STARRING
JIMMY FALLON."
AND NOW, HERE'S YOUR HOST,
JIMMY FALLON
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
♪
>> Jimmy: OH, THANKS
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
WELCOME.
THANKS, HAVE A SEAT.
OH, LOOK AT THAT
WELCOME, EVERYBODY
WELCOME, WELCOME, WELCOME,
WELCOME TO "THE TONIGHT SHOW."
THIS IS IT
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
YOU'RE HERE.
YOU MADE IT.
WELCOME.
YOU GUYS, WE GOT TO HURRY.
'CAUSE WE COULD LOSE POWER AT
ANY SECOND RIGHT NOW
[ LAUGHTER ]
WHAT A CRAZY WEEKEND HERE IN
NEW YORK CITY.
THERE WAS A HUGE BLACKOUT.
FOR HOURS, NEW YORKERS WERE
TRAPPED ON SUBWAYS, TRAFFIC WAS
AT A STANDSTILL, AND THERE WAS
NO AIR CONDITIONING AT PORT
AUTHORITY.
THEN THE BLACKOUT HIT.
[ LAUGHTER ]
BUT THIS IS NEW YORK CITY.
SO NEW YORKERS RALLIED AND
MANAGED TO KEEP CALM
THEN EVERYONE'S PHONE BATTERY
REACHED 5% AND ALL HELL BROKE
LOOSE.
[ LAUGHTER ]
"I WILL CUT YOU, MAN!"
GET THIS, THOUGH
I HEARD THAT THE BLACKOUT EVEN
AFFECTED SOME WEDDINGS
AT THE PLAZA HOTEL, THE LIGHTS
WENT OFF RIGHT BEFORE A COUPLE
EXCHANGED VOWS
[ AUDIENCE OHS ]
EVEN WORSE, THE BRIDE HAD JUST
SAID, "GOD, IF THIS IS A
A MISTAKE, PLEASE GIVE ME
A SIGN."
[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
ACROSS THE CITY WHEN THE
TRAFFIC LIGHTS WENT OUT, SOME
NEW YORKERS DECIDED TO STEP
INTO THE STREET AND DIRECT
TRAFFIC THEMSELVES
CHECK IT OUT
[ HORN HONKING ]
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT
YOU WANT
FIVE STRANGERS POINTING IN
DIFFERENT DIRECTIONS AT THE
SAME TIME.
[ LAUGHTER ]
THEN AFTER ABOUT FIVE HOURS,
THE POWER CAME BACK ON
AND PEOPLE WERE REALLY EXCITED
WATCH, THIS IS REAL.
WATCH THIS
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
>> Jimmy: YEAH
[ APPLAUSE ]
THAT'S LIKE WHEN YOUR FRIEND
SHOWS UP AT THE PARTY WITH MORE
BEER
IT'S LIKE, "OH!"
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
HEY!
♪
[ AIR HORN ]
♪
>> Steve: BEER
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: LET'S GET TO SOME
NEWS HERE.
EVERYBODY'S TALKING ABOUT THIS
RACIST TWEET THE PRESIDENT SENT
YESTERDAY.
HE TOLD A GROUP OF DEMOCRATIC
AMERICAN CONGRESSWOMEN TO "GO
BACK FROM WHERE THEY CAME
FROM."
[ AUDIENCE BOOS
MEANWHILE, MELANIA WAS LIKE,
"HEY, HOW COME THEY GET TO
LEAVE?
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Steve: OH
OH
>> Jimmy: I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S
MORE SHOCKING, THAT THE
PRESIDENT SENT A RACIST TWEET
OR THAT WE WON'T BE TALKING
ABOUT THIS IN TWO DAYS
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
TOO REAL, OKAY
SORRY.
[ LAUGHTER ]
TOO REAL, OKAY
>> Steve: YEAH, TOO REAL
>> Jimmy: LET'S GET TO SOME
GOOD NEWS.
I WANT TO SAY CONGRATS TO
NOVAK DJOKOVIC WHO WON THE
WIMBLEDON MEN'S FINAL
YESTERDAY.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
DID YOU SEE THAT
IT WAS THE LONGEST MEN'S FINAL
EVER, LASTING ALMOST FIVE
HOURS.
THE PLAYERS WERE FINE.
BUT THE BALL BOY WAS CARRIED
OUT ON A STRETCHER
IT WAS SAD
[ LAUGHTER ]
WELL, GUYS, THIS IS BIG.
WE ARE RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF
AMAZON PRIME DAY
ARE YOU FEELING THE BUZZ
YEAH
[ CHEERS ]
AND I READ THAT ONE OF THE TOP
SELLING ITEMS IS THE INSTA-POT
THAT'S ALSO ONE OF THE MOST
RETURNED ITEMS WHEN STONERS
REALIZE --
[ LAUGHTER ]
IT'S NOT WHAT THEY THOUGHT IT
WAS.
YEAH
AND GET THIS, TO COMPETE WITH
AMAZON, I SAW THAT BEST BUY IS
HOLDING A BIG SALE
YOU ALL KNOW BEST BUY.
IT'S WHERE YOU TEST OUT
ELECTRONICS BEFORE GOING HOME
AND ORDERING THEM OFF AMAZON
[ LAUGHTER ]
SOMETIMES RIGHT IN THE AISLE
YOU GO, YEAH, I'M NOT GONNA GO
HOME
SPEAKING OF PRIME DAY, I HEARD
THAT FEDERAL OFFICIALS HAVE
RECENTLY STARTED TO CRACKDOWN
ON FAKE AMAZON REVIEWS
APPARENTLY, A LOT OF REVIEWS ON
AMAZON ARE FAKE OR PAID FOR.
USUALLY YOU CAN TELL
I MEAN CHECK IT OUT.
FOR INSTANCE, HERE'S A YOGA
MAT.
THE FAKE REVIEW SAYS, "I USE IT
EVERY DAY.
IT'S COMFORTABLE AND EASY TO
CLEAN.
[ LAUGHTER ]
REAL REVIEW SAYS, "I CARRY IT
AROUND ALL IN MY BAG SO PEOPLE
THINK I DID YOGA WHETHER OR NOT
I ACTUALLY DID YOGA.
[ LAUGHTER ]
[ APPLAUSE ]
NEXT UP, HERE'S A ROOMBA
THE FAKE REVIEW SAYS, "IT'S
REALLY GOOD AT CLEANING THE
FLOORS."
REAL REVIEW SAYS, "I'M TRYING
TO TRAIN IT TO BRING ME A BUD
LIGHT FROM THE KITCHEN."
[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
TRYING TO TRAIN A ROOMBA
JUST GET -- TAKES YOU LONGER TO
TRAIN IT TO JUST -- WHATEVER
>> Steve: GO
>> Jimmy: LOOK AT THIS
THIS IS FOR A ONE GALLON OF
PURE PROTEIN POWDER.
FAKE REVIEW SAYS, "DRANK THIS
SHAKE AND GOT JACKED."
[ LAUGHTER ]
REAL REVIEW SAYS, "THIS THING
HAS BEEN SITTING ON TOP OF MY
FRIDGE FOR NINE YEARS IN THREE
DIFFERENT APARTMENTS."
[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
YEAH, JUST PACK IT IN THE BOX.
I'LL USE IT ONE DAY.
AND FINALLY, HERE'S A SLIP 'N
SLIDE.
THE FAKE REVIEW SAYS, "SO MUCH
FUN ON A HOT SUMMER DAY.
REAL REVIEW SAYS, "I DIDN'T GET
IT WET ENOUGH.
NOW I'M JUST PRAYING MY NIPPLES
GROW BACK.
[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
WE HAVE A GREAT SHOW TONIGHT
GIVE IT UP FOR THE ROOTS,
EVERYBODY!
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
♪
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
>> Jimmy: HEY!
NICE TO SEE YOU.
I MISSED YOU GUYS.
WELCOME BACK
THANK YOU SO MUCH.
NICE TO SEE YOU, HIGGINS
NICE TO SEE YOU, ROOTS
DID YOU HAVE A GOOD BREAK WOULD
YOU SAY?
>> Steve: FANTASTIC.
>> Jimmy: YOU DID.
>> Steve: WENT TO EUROPE
ALL OVER EUROPE.
>> Jimmy: YOU WENT ALL OVER THE
PLACE.
YOU WENT -- WHERE WAS THAT
PHOTO FROM
YOU IN A BOAT OR SOMETHING
>> Steve: LAKE COMO.
>> Jimmy: REALLY
>> Steve: YEAH
>> Jimmy: YOU HANG OUT -
>> Steve: SENOR HIGGINS?
>> Jimmy: OH
>> Steve: THEY KNEW THE SHOW IN
EUROPE, EVERYWHERE
>> Jimmy: YEAH, IT'S WILD.
I WENT -- I WAS OVER IN EUROPE
AS WELL.
>> Steve: WHERE WERE YOU
>> Jimmy: I WENT TO --
>> Steve: YOU'RE A PEEIN'.
>> Jimmy: WHAT'S THAT?
>> Steve: OH
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: YOU'RE A PEEIN'?
>> Steve: I WAS INCONTINENT,
YEAH
>> Jimmy: YEAH
YOU WERE INCONTINENT
>> Steve: YEAH
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: I DID GO TO -- I WENT
TO LONDON.
I DO IT EVERY YEAR
FIRST I WENT TO
WOLFEBORO, NEW HAMPSHIRE, WHICH
IS A -
>> Audience: WOO
>> Jimmy: YEAH
>> Steve: YEAH
>> Jimmy: THAT'S THE -- I WENT
WITH THAT --
>> Steve: JIMMY WOLFEBORO.
>> Jimmy: I WENT WITH THAT GUY
ME AND THAT GUY HAD A BRO
WEEKEND.
IT WAS AWESOME
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Steve: HE TRAINED A ROOMBA
TO GIVE YOU A BUD LIGHT.
>> Jimmy: HE BROUGHT ME BEER
AND WE WERE LIKE, "WHOA, LET'S
DO IT.
IT'S JUST THE COOLEST TOWN
I LOVE NEW HAMPSHIRE
I LOVE WOLFEBORO
THEY HAVE A GREAT PARADE,
FOURTH OF JULY PARADE.
I HAD A GREAT TIME THERE
AND GOSH, MY KIDS HAD FUN.
THEN THEY WANTED TO GO TO
LONDON
>> Steve: OH
>> Jimmy: MY -- FRANNY, THE --
MY FOUR-YEAR-OLD WAS LIKE, "I
WANT TO LIVE IN LONDON."
I DON'T KNOW WHY SHE SAID --
JUST ANYTHING BUT LIVE WITH ME
SHE JUST WANTS TO GO SOMEWHERE
ELSE
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
SO SHE'S LIKE -- ALL RIGHT
SO WE WENT AND IT WAS BIG
EUROPEAN FAMILY TRIP
IT WAS FUN
ALL SHE WANTED -- HER AND
WINNIE, THEY WANTED TO BE ON A
A DOUBLE DECKER BUS.
>> Steve: YEAH
>> Jimmy: AND THEY WANTED TO
SEE A MUMMY.
>> Steve: OH
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: I DON'T KNOW WHY IN
ENGLAND --
>> Steve: "A MUMMY."
>> Jimmy: YEAH, YEAH
SO -- YEAH, "HELLO, MUMMY.
PEPPA PIG.
[ LAUGHTER ]
NO, BUT -- YEAH, WE DID --
WE SET UP --
I GOT THEM ON A DOUBLE DECKER
BUS.
IT WAS GREAT
THEY LOVED IT.
THEY THOUGHT IT WAS THE MOST
FUN THING EVER
AND THEN, IT WAS JUST
FANTASTIC.
AND THEN MY WIFE TOOK THE KIDS
HOME A DAY EARLY
AND I GOT TO HANG OUT WITH
LORNE.
I SEE LORNE MICHAELS THERE
EVERY YEAR
WE MEET UP IN ENGLAND, WALK
AROUND, GO SHOPPING, STUFF LIKE
THAT
DUDE, I DID SOME GOOD SHOPPING
>> Steve: WHAT DID YOU GET
>> Jimmy: WHAT DID I GET
>> Steve: WHAT DIDN'T YOU --
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: DUDE, I'M BRINGING
THE FANNY PACK BACK.
[ LAUGHTER ]
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
DUDE, IT'S EXPENSIVE -
EXPENSIVE, BUT IT'S WORTH IT
>> Steve: RIGHT, LET'S SEE IT.
GUCCI FANNY.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
WOW!
>> Jimmy: TARIQ, TARIQ, COME
ON
DON'T EVEN TALK --
>> Steve: OH
>> Jimmy: SO YOU'RE JUST
HANGING OUT.
>> Steve: THAT GUCCI COVER YOUR
COOCHIE.
THERE YOU GO
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: I WEAR IT LIKE THIS.
I WEAR IT LIKE THIS.
>> Steve: IT'S LIKE A HOLSTER.
>> Jimmy: ALMOST LIKE --
>> Steve: YEAH
>> Jimmy: I'M HAN SOLO
>> Steve: YEAH
YEAH
>> Jimmy: LIKE A HAN SOLO
FANNY --
YOU ALMOST CAN'T TELL I'M
WEARING IT
[ LAUGHTER ]
IT'S ALMOST LIKE, "WHAT'S UP,
MAN?
>> Steve: THAT DOES NOT LOOK
BAD AT ALL
THAT LOOKS GREAT
>> Jimmy: WHAT ARE YOU TALKING
ABOUT?
I CAN'T EVEN HEAR WHAT YOU
SAID
>> Steve: YEAH, BECAUSE IT
LOOKS --
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
IT LOOKS SO GREAT.
>> Jimmy: YEAH, IT JUST LOOKS
GREAT.
>> Steve: THAT LOOKS CASUAL.
>> Jimmy: IT'S CASUAL, RIGHT
[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
>> Steve: GUCCI.
[ AIR HORN ]
♪
COVER YOUR TUCCI
>> Jimmy: ANYWAYS, SINCE I DID
THAT, I GUESS YOU CAN WEAR
IT -
YOU CAN WEAR IT ACROSS AS WELL
>> Steve: LIKE A BANDOLIER,
YEAH
>> Jimmy: LIKE A WHAT?
>> Steve: LIKE A BANDOLIER
LIKE A -
>> Jimmy: LIKE A -- WHAT'S A
A MANDOLIER?
>> Steve: BANDOLIER IS
USUALLY --
>> Jimmy: LIKE THAT?
>> Steve: IT HOLSTERS WEAPONS
ACROSS THE FRONT OF YOUR CHEST
IMAGINE LIKE THE FRITO BANDITO
>> Jimmy: LIKE THAT?
>> Steve: THERE YOU GO, THAT
LOOKS GOOD
[ LAUGHTER ]
THAT'S LIKE A PURSE.
>> Jimmy: DOESN'T SEEM AS FUN.
>> Steve: YEAH
>> Jimmy: IT DOESN'T SEEM
LIKE -
>> Steve: WEAR IT ON YOUR HEAD
LIKE A POPE HAT.
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: LIKE HOW
>> Steve: YEAH, NO, THE OTHER
WAY.
THERE YOU GO, THAT WAY
OR STICKING STRAIGHT UP.
OH, THERE YOU GO
YEAH, THERE YOU GO
>> Jimmy: WEAR THAT LIKE A
A NAPOLEON -
>> Steve: YEAH
[ TALKING OVER EACH OTHER
LIKE A BULL FIGHTER.
>> Jimmy: LIKE A NAPOLEON DEAL
>> Steve: YEAH
>> Jimmy: NO, I MEAN THERE'S
DIFFERENT WAYS TO WEAR IT.
>> Steve: OH, THERE YOU GO
WOW.
[ CHEERS ]
>> Jimmy: YOU'RE AT THE MOVIE
THEATER --
>> Steve: THAT'S CALLED THE
SAINT BERNARD.
>> Jimmy: YOU'RE HANGING OUT,
YOU'RE AT THE MOVIE THEATER.
YOU'RE LIKE, "OH, MY GOD."
AND YOU'RE JUST LIKE -
AND YOU'RE WATCHING.
[ LAUGHTER ]
TARIQ, YOU'RE SO JEALOUS, I
CAN'T EVEN LOOK AT YOU RIGHT
NOW.
[ LAUGHTER ]
I REALLY CAN'T EVEN LOOK AT YOU
RIGHT NOW.
YOU KNOW I HAVE SOMETHING LIKE
THIS
ANYWAYS --
>> Steve: YOU THINK TARIQ IS
GONNA BE STYLING ONE OF THOSE
TOMORROW
>> Jimmy: I JUST GOT ONE OF
THESE JAMS
AND YOU CAN'T EVEN TELL I'M
WEARING IT
I MIGHT WEAR IT ALL -- I MIGHT
WEAR IT ALL SHOW
>> Steve: YEAH, I WOULD.
>> Jimmy: I CARRY IT -
YOU KNOW WHAT I DID?
>> Steve: PUT YOUR VAPING STUFF
IN THERE
[ LAUGHTER ]
BECAUSE THAT'S COOL TOO, MAN
I THINK THAT'S AS COOL THAT
FANNY PACK
>> Jimmy: YEAH, I PUT MY VAPING
STUFF -- YEAH, YOU KNOW ME
YOU KNOW WHAT I DID?
I GOT IT
I WAS VERY -- SO EXCITED TO USE
IT THAT I LEFT MY PHONE IN THE
HOTEL ROOM
'CAUSE I'M NOT USED TO FANNING
MY FANNY PACK.
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
PACKING MY FANNY PACK.
>> Steve: IS THAT --
>> Jimmy: I JUST PACKED IT UP
WITH GUM
>> Steve: GUM, SURE.
>> Jimmy: THAT'S ALL I HAD IN
THERE.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Steve: HOW MUCH GUM
>> Jimmy: I DIDN'T WANT TO PUT
MY WALLET IN THERE, IN CASE
SOMEONE SAW THIS AND GO, "OH,
HE'S A TOURIST."
>> Steve: AND SAID, "I GOT TO
HAVE IT.
YEAH
>> Jimmy: AND I'M GOING TO RIP
OFF -- I DON'T KNOW HOW FAST
YOU CAN UNCLIP THIS.
>> Steve: RIGHT.
BUT YOU KNOW WHAT, THEY SEE
THAT COMING A MILE AWAY.
>> Jimmy: DO YOU WANT TO TRY TO
MUG ME
>> Steve: THEY KNOW YOU GOT
MONEY.
>> Jimmy: TRY TO MUG ME SO -
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
>> Steve: OKAY, YOU WANT ME TO
SEE IF I CAN STEAL THAT?
>> Jimmy: YEAH, IT'S JUST --
YOU GOT TO UNCLIP IT FROM
THERE.
♪
>> Steve: SO, I'M WALKING BY
OH, EXCUSE ME.
>> Jimmy: WHAT'S UP, MAN
[ LAUGHTER ]
♪
[ APPLAUSE ]
OH, YOU TRY.
OH, MY GOSH.
YOU HAVE TO GIVE THAT BACK TO
ME
IT'S MY FANNY PACK
ALL MY PERSONAL BELONGINGS
IT'S NOT BAD
TARIQ, THINK ABOUT IT, YEAH.
YEAH, SEE, THAT'S WHAT I'M
TALKING ABOUT, DUDE.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
SO I DID THAT -- YOU WON'T EVEN
BELIEVE THIS STORY
AND QUEST, YOU'RE GOING TO
FREAK OUT.
BUT ANYONE WHO LIKES MUSIC
I WENT BACK TO THE HOTEL
AND I'M HANGING OUT.
AND I GOT TO SEE LORNE
WE HUNG OUT.
AND THEN WE WENT TO WIMBLEDON.
AND I SAW FEDERER AND NADAL
PLAY
>> Steve: OOH.
>> Jimmy: TWO OF THE BEST EVER
IT WAS UNBELIEVABLE.
YEAH, IF YOU SAW THE MATCH
[ APPLAUSE ]
I WAS LIKE -- WAIT, WAIT, IT
GETS SO MUCH BETTER.
IT GETS BETTER
SO I SEE THAT HAPPEN
IT'S UNBELIEVABLE.
AND FEDERER WINS
AND THEY LOVE HIM OVER THERE
AND IT'S REALLY EXCITING,
REALLY FUN
AND THEN LORNE AND I GET IN THE
CAR.
AND WE GO TO HYDE PARK
WE GO SEE NEIL YOUNG IN HYDE
PARK
>> Steve: OH
[ AUDIENCE OHS ]
>> Jimmy: AMAZING, I GO --
NEIL YOUNG'S UNBELIEVABLE,
CRUSHES.
WE GO BACK AND SAY HI TO NEIL.
AND WE'RE WITH
STELLA McCARTNEY
STELLA GOES, "I HAVE TO
FACETIME MY DAD.
'CAUSE HE LOVES YOU.
SHE FACETIMES PAUL McCARTNEY
NEIL YOUNG AND PAUL McCARTNEY
ARE FACETIMING EACH OTHER.
I SWEAR TO GOD
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
I GO -- I CAN NEVER SAY I
WAS -- THAT EVER HAPPENED.
I GO, "THIS IS THE BEST DAY
EVER."
I LOVE THOSE GUYS.
THEN, I'M NOT KIDDING, THE SHOW
WASN'T OVER.
WE WENT BACK TO SEE THE END OF
THE CONCERT.
BOB DYLAN CAME OUT AND DID A
A CONCERT.
>> Steve: WHAT
>> Jimmy: SO -- I SWEAR THIS IS
A TRUE STORY
GOOGLE IT.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Steve: WAS HE WEARING A
A GUCCI THING?
>> Jimmy: I SEE FEDERER, NADAL
I WORE MY FANNY PACK
[ LAUGHTER ]
I THINK THE FANNY PACK WAS A
A MAGNET
>> Steve: YOU THINK IT WAS A
A MAGNET
>> Jimmy: IT WAS GOOD LUCK
>> Steve: YOU THINK NONE OF
THIS -
>> Jimmy: THE MORE I'VE BEEN
WEARING THAT THING, THE MORE
LUCKY THINGS HAVE BEEN
HAPPENING.
>> Steve: REALLY, LIKE WHAT
ELSE
>> Jimmy: WHAT'S THAT?
>> Steve: WHAT OTHER -
>> Jimmy: I JUST GOT SOME -- I
GOT SOME LOOKS
>> Steve: OH
>> Jimmy: AND PEOPLE WERE GOING
LIKE -
>> Steve: HEY.
>> Jimmy: "WAY TO GO."
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
I GOT A COUPLE, "YOU'RE DOING
IT RIGHT, BUDDY.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Steve: PEOPLE YELLING IN THE
STREET, SAYING "YOU'RE DOING IT
RIGHT, BUDDY."
>> Jimmy: COUPLE PEOPLE YELLED
IN THE STREET, "YOU'RE DOING IT
RIGHT, MAN."
[ LAUGHTER ]
IN AN AMERICAN ACCENT.
>> Steve: RIGHT, IN LONDON
'CAUSE THEY KNEW IT WAS YOU.
>> Jimmy: YEAH
>> Steve: YEAH
>> Jimmy: "NICE BUM BAG.
>> Steve: YEAH
THEY CALL IT A BUM BAG
[ LAUGHTER ]
REALLY
>> Jimmy: THAT'S WHAT THEY
SAID, YEAH
>> Steve: THAT'S TRUE?
>> Jimmy: I WASN'T EVEN WEARING
IT WHEN THEY SAID THAT
>> Steve: REALLY
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: BUT THEY MIGHT HAVE
SEEN IT THE DAY BEFORE
>> Steve: THEY MAY HAVE SEEN IT
BEFORE
>> Jimmy: THEY MIGHT HAVE SEEN
IT THE DAY BEFORE.
ANYWAY, IT WAS A GREAT BREAK
BUT I'M SO HAPPY TO BE BACK.
I MISSED YOU GUYS.
AND I MISSED -- YEAH, THANK
YOU.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
IT'S FUN
DID YOU SEE -- CATCH THE
ALL-STAR GAME?
THE MLB ALL-STAR GAME WAS LAST
WEEK
AND WE WANTED TO DO SOMETHING
FUN WITH THE PLAYERS
SO WE GAVE A BUNCH OF THEM
WEIRD PHRASES AND ASKED THEM TO
SNEAK THOSE PHRASES INTO THEIR
INTERVIEWS AS CASUALLY AS
POSSIBLE
NO ONE KNEW THAT WE WERE DOING
THIS
HERE, CHECK IT OUT
IT'S TIME FOR "DROP IT IN.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
♪ DROP IT I
DROP IT IN
DROP-A-DROP-A-DROP IT IN ♪
>> THIS IS MY -- THESE ARE MY
BASICS
THIS IS WHAT I NEED TO DO.
AND YOU CAN DRAW BACK ON IT.
IT'S LIKE THEY SAY, "EVEN
A HUNGRY TURTLE CAN DO A
A JUMPING JACK."
[ DING ]
>> ABSOLUTELY, YEAH.
>> IS IT POSSIBLE TO HAVE TOO
MANY POWER HITTERS
>> NO, I DON'T THINK IT'S
POSSIBLE TO HAVE TOO MANY POWER
HITTERS.
WE'RE THE YANKEES.
WE DON'T -- YOU DON'T ASK THE
MILKMAN FOR STEAK.
[ DING ]
>> WELL, CAME DOWN TO LAST
NIGHT, I WAS SCRAMBLING.
AND THEN I JUST THOUGHT TO
MYSELF, "SOMETIMES YOU GOT TO
DANCE WITH THE PANTS YOU WORE
TO PROM.
[ DING ]
>> WHAT IS IT LIKE TO PREPARE
FOR YOUR NEXT START WITH THIS
BACKDROP AND THIS HISTORIC
BALLPARK
>> YEAH, YOU KNOW, IT'S GREAT.
YOU KNOW, SOMETIMES WHEN THE
PENCIL BREAKS THOUGH, YOU JUST
TO SCRIBBLE WITH THE NIBBLE.
[ DING ]
>> THERE WAS THIS OVERARCHING
MESSAGE.
AND IT'S, "IT DOESN'T MATTER
HOW MUCH JELLY YOU HAVE IN THE
JAR, IT'S ABOUT HOW YOU SPREAD
IT ON YOUR ENGLISH MUFFIN.
[ DING ]
>> A LOT OF GREAT YEARS GOING
ON, BUT I THINK ROOKIE OF YEAR
IS MICHAEL CHAVIS.
COOKIE OF THE YEAR, CHOCOLATE
CHIP
[ DING ]
>> I FEEL REALLY PROUD FOR --
FOR PLAY WITH C.C.
I'M SUPER EXCITED.
IT'S LIKE, "DO I WATCH OUR
COMBO?
[ DING ]
>> YOU GOT A SUPERMODEL WIFE
WHAT'S THE SECRET?
YOU GOT TO TELL THE YOUNGSTER
HOW TO DO IT
>> MAN, NO SECRET.
YOU KNOW, I RECENTLY WATCHED
THE MOVIE "FEVER PITCH."
IT STILL HOLDS UP.
[ DING ]
[ CHEERS ]
SO I MEAN IT'S LOVE, BASEBALL.
ALL THAT
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
>> Jimmy: YES!
THE FANNY PACK
THOSE WERE GREAT
THANK YOU TO THE PLAYERS
JUSTIN, THANK YOU FOR THAT
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
THANKS TO MLB.
WE LOVE YOU, MLB
STICK AROUND, WE'LL BE RIGHT
BACK WITH MORE OF
"THE TONIGHT SHOW.
"FEVER PITCH" STILL HOLDS UP
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
♪
>> Jimmy: OH, HOT CROWD.
WELCOME BACK TO "THE TONIGHT
SHOW."
GREAT CROWD, TONIGHT
HEY, THANKS GUYS
I APPRECIATE THAT.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
I MISSED YOU GUYS.
GUYS, IT IS JULY AND IT'S
A GREAT TIME TO DO SOME SERIOUS
BEACH READING.
AND I DON'T WANT YOU TO READ
ANY BAD BOOKS THIS SUMMER, SO
TO HELP YOU GUYS OUT, I'M GOING
TO SHOW YOU SOME BOOKS THAT YOU
SHOULD AVOID AT ALL COSTS.
[ LAUGHTER ]
THAT'S RIGHT, IT'S TIME FOR MY
LATEST INSTALLMENT OF MY "DO
NOT READ" LIST
HERE WE GO
♪ DO NOT READ
DO NOT REA
THESE BOOKS THESE BOOKS ♪
>> Jimmy: NOW, BEFORE WE START,
I WANT YOU ALL TO KNOW THAT
EVERY BOOK THAT I'M ABOUT TO
SHOW YOU IS 100 PERCENT REAL
THESE ARE ACTUAL BOOKS
YOU CAN FIND THEM ON AMAZON,
YOUR LOCAL BOOKSTORE, OR CHECK
THEM OUT AT YOUR LIBRARY, THEY
ARE REAL
ALL RIGHT, LET'S SEE WHAT'S ON
MY DO NOT READ LIST.
THIS FIRST ONE IS A SELF-HELP
BOOK
>> Steve: OH, GREAT.
>> Jimmy: I LOVE THOSE
THIS ONE IS CALLED, "GETTING
HIGH: HOW TO REALLY DO IT,"
BY -
[ LAUGHTER ]
BY DAN CLARK
>> Steve: WOW.
>> APPARENTLY, DAN CAME UP WITH
A DRUG-FREE, ALL NATURAL WAY
FOR PEOPLE TO GET HIGH
AND IT WAS A NATIONAL BEST
SELLER
>> Steve: OH
>> Jimmy: AND YEAH, I DON'T
KNOW MUCH ABOUT HIM.
IF YOU DON'T KNOW MUCH ABOUT
DAN, YOU CAN FIND OUT A LITTLE
BIT MORE ABOUT HIM IN THE FRONT
PAGE HERE.
THE FIRST PAGE, ABOUT THE
AUTHOR
SAYS, "DAN BROKE HIS NECK TWICE
AND FRACTURED TWO VERTEBRAE IN
HIS BACK
[ LAUGHTER ]
BROKE HIS NOSE, LEFT ARM, BOTH
THUMBS, HANDS AND LITTLE
FINGERS.
HE TORE BOTH KNEES THREE TIMES
AND BOTH ANKLES TWICE.
AND HAS HAD SURGERY FOR AN
APPENDICITIS, TWO HERNIAS AND
A TORN KNEE.
[ LAUGHTER ]
HE'S ALSO BEEN SEWN UP 11 TIMES
ON HIS HEAD, SHOULDER AND
HAND."
>> Steve: WOW!
>> Jimmy: IT'S JUST A LITTLE -
WHAT WAS HIS PREVIOUS JOB?
[ LAUGHTER ]
WAS HE A CRASH TEST DUMMY?
WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO HIM?
>> Steve: I THINK I KNOW WHAT
HE WAS HIGH ON, PAIN KILLERS
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: OXYCODONE.
>> Steve: YEAH
>> Jimmy: OXYCODONE, YEAH.
OXYCOTIN, JEEZ, YEAH, HE'S
REALLY HIGH.
ANYWAYS, NEXT UP IS A HOW-TO
BOOK
THIS IS CALLED, "BOAT NAMING
MADE SIMPLE.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Steve: THANK GOD.
>> Jimmy: THE ACTUAL REAL BOOK
"BOAT NAMING MADE SIMPLE."
THEY JUST MAKE IT SO SIMPLE.
>> Steve: EASY
>> Jimmy: I NEVER THOUGHT IT
WAS A PROBLEM, BUT -
>> Steve: APPARENTLY -
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: BUT WHAT DO I -- I
DON'T OWN A BOAT
>> Steve: YOU DON'T KNOW
ANYTHING
>> Jimmy: I'VE NEVER OWNED A
A BOAT, I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING.
I'VE NEVER -- BUT I JUST
THOUGHT.
I MEAN, IT'S JUST EXAMPLES
>> Steve: YEAH, GREAT.
>> Jimmy: ALIENS ATE MY BUICK,
EGGS SUCK, SOILED SHEETS, TINY
HINEY.
[ LAUGHTER ]
I DON'T KNOW
I DON'T THINK I NEED A BOOK TO
NAME A BOAT.
TARIQ, CAN YOU NAME A BOAT
>> Tariq: "THE COD FATHER.
[ LAUGHTER ]
[ APPLAUSE ]
>> Jimmy: I'M GOING TO CALL MY
BOAT, "SWIMMY FALLON."
HIGGINS, CAN YOU NAME A BOAT
>> Steve: "TINY DINGY.
>> Jimmy: YEAH
[ LAUGHTER ]
TARIQ, DO YOU GOT ONE?
>> Tariq: "SHIP HAPPENS.
[ CHEERS ]
>> Jimmy: I'D CALL MINE, "TO
BEACH HIS OWN.
[ LAUGHTER ]
HIGGINS?
>> Steve: "VERY SMALL BALLS.
[ LAUGHTER ]
WAIT, WHAT ARE WE NAMING AGAIN
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: BOATS.
>> Steve: BOATS, MY BAD.
[ LAUGHTER ]
I THOUGHT WE WERE NAMING
SOMETHING ELSE, NEVERMIND.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: THINK WE -
YOU DON'T WANT TO KNOW
>> Jimmy: WHAT DID YOU THINK WE
WERE NAMING?
>> Steve: YOU DON'T WANT TO
KNOW
>> Jimmy: BUT YOU THOUGHT WHEN
I SAID THE WORD "BOAT --
>> Steve: I HEARD "TESTICLES."
[ LAUGHTER ]
SUMMER HEARING
I HAVE SWIMMER'S EAR
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: WE'LL CONTINUE TO TRY
TO TRY THIS BIT.
I'M NOT SURE IF THIS IS
GONNA --
THIS BIT IS GOING TO MAKE IT TO
AIR.
>> Steve: YEAH, BUT WE'LL TRY.
IT MIGHT NOT
>> Jimmy: IT MIGHT HAPPEN.
>> Steve: WE'RE NOT QUITTERS
>> Jimmy: BUT WE'RE JUST HAVING
FUN.
>> Steve: YEAH, JUST HAVING
FUN.
HF, MAN.
HAVE FUN
>> Jimmy: THIS IS CALLED -- OH,
THIS IS VERY GOOD.
THIS IS CALLED, "HOW WE MAKE
DUCKS PAY AN ILLUSTRATED GUIDE
TO THE PROFITABLE BREEDING OF
OUR MODERN PEKIN ALL-WHITE
MAMMOTH DUCKLINGS; PLAIN AND
THOROUGH LESSONS FOR BEGINNERS
AND OTHERS EVERYWHERE WHO WRITE
FOR THE DETAILS AND SECRETS OF
OUR WATERLESS METHOD."
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Steve: WOW.
>> Jimmy: CATCHY TITLE
>> Steve: YEAH
>> Jimmy: IT'S A CATCHY TITLE.
ROLLS OFF YOUR TONGUE.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Steve: IT'S LIKE WATER OFF
A PEKIN DUCK'S BACK.
>> Jimmy: THIS IS OUR LAST ONE
HERE
>> Steve: AW
[ AUDIENCE AWS ]
THIS ONE IS CALLED
"STUMP SITTING."
>> Steve: YEAH
[ LAUGHTER ]
♪ I'M STUMP SITTING
SITTING ON STUMPS ♪
>> Jimmy: HERE'S THE PROBLEM,
HERE'S THE PROBLEM WITH THIS
ONE.
I JUST FEELS LIKE --
WELL, I FEEL LIKE A MISSED
OPPORTUNITY THERE.
[ LAUGHTER ]
DO YOU SEE WHAT I'M SAYING
>> Steve: I THINK I SEE WHAT
YOU'RE SAYING.
>> Jimmy: BECAUSE NOT ONLY IS
IT NOT A STUMP
BUT HE'S NOT EVEN SITTING.
>> Steve: HE'S NOT SITTING
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: IT IS --
>> Steve: YEAH
>> Jimmy: THIS IS UNFORTUNATELY
A MISSED OPPORTUNITY
>> Steve: YEAH
>> Jimmy: IT SHOULD BE CALLED
"TREE LEANING.
>> Steve: YEAH
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: LET'S TAKE A LOOK
AT -
>> Steve: CLOSE ENOUGH
>> Jimmy: LET'S TAKE A LOOK
AT -
>> Steve: OH, IT'S
SPIRAL-BOUND, TOO.
>> Jimmy: WHAT HE'S TALKING
ABOUT.
HERE WE GO
>> Steve: THAT'S CLASSY.
>> Jimmy: YEAH, YOU DON'T SEE
MUCH OF THESE SPIRAL BOUNDS.
[ LAUGHTER ]
OH, THIS ONE IS -- THE CHAPTER
SAYS "NUDE STUMP SITTING."
>> Steve: OKAY
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: IT SAYS, "AS YOU
KNOW, IT IS MY CUSTOM TO GO OUT
IN THE WOODS AND STRIP DOWN TO
WHAT THE MAKER GAVE ME."
>> Steve: OH
>> Jimmy: "AND ALLOW THE FALL
BREEZES TO BLOW AWAY THE STINK
OF SUMMER.
[ LAUGHTER ]
"STINK OF SUMMER" WAS ONE OF MY
BOATS.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: THERE YOU HAVE IT,
THAT'S OUR "DO NOT READ.
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK, EVERYBODY
COME ON BACK
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
♪
>> Jimmy: OUR FIRST GUEST IS AN
OSCAR-NOMINATED ACTOR WHO STARS
IN A NEW FILM CALLED "THE ART
OF SELF-DEFENSE," WHICH IS IN
SELECT THEATERS NOW AND
EVERYWHERE ON FRIDAY
PLEASE WELCOME JESSE EISENBERG
♪
>> Jimmy: HEY, BUD
>> HEY, HOW ARE YOU?
>> Jimmy: I'M FANTASTIC.
IT'S GREAT TO SEE YOU.
I DON'T GET TO SEE YOU ENOUGH.
>> I KNOW.
I SHOULD BE ON YOU TV SHOW
MORE
>> Jimmy: YEAH, YEAH
[ LAUGHTER ]
WHENEVER YOU WANT, PLEASE.
>> -- ON YOU.
>> Jimmy: I WANT TO -- I WANT
TO -- YEAH, I GUESS IT IS.
>> YEAH.
>> Jimmy: THERE'S LOTS TO TALK
ABOUT, BUT I DO WANT TO SAY
CONGRATS ON -- I KNOW YOU DID
A SEQUEL TO "ZOMBIELAND.
>> YES, YES, YES
>> Jimmy: AND ALL THE FANS ARE
BUZZING WITH THAT.
CONGRATS
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
>> YEAH.
>> Jimmy: AND HE'S, LIKE, GOOD
AT THAT.
HE'S GIFTED.
>> YES, LIKE, YOUR DAY THAT YOU
DESCRIBED IN ENGLAND WITH,
LIKE, PAUL -- HE KNOWS ALL OF
THOSE PEOPLE
IN FACT, ON THE FIRST
"ZOMBIELAND" -- LIKE, THE LAST
DAY OF FILMING HE SAID TO
EMMA STONE, WHO'S IN THE MOVIE,
"YOU KNOW WHO YOU'D BE GREAT
FRIENDS WITH
PAUL McCARTNEY."
AND SHE WAS LIKE, "OH, COOL.
THANKS
THEN WE SHOULD HANG OUT.
[ LAUGHTER ]
AND I WAS, LIKE, SITTING IN THE
CAR THINKING LIKE, "HOW DOES HE
KNOW I WOULD NOT LIKE
PAUL McCARTNEY?"
[ LAUGHTER ]
AND I MEAN, AND I DON'T.
I MEAN, I DON'T.
>> Jimmy: YOU DON'T?
>> NO, NO.
I NEVER GOT THEIR MUSIC.
>> Jimmy: NO, NO, OF COURSE.
[ LAUGHTER ]
OF COURSE.
>> OF COURSE, OF COURSE.
>> Jimmy: I LOVE THE BEATLES
YAH, WE LOVE PAUL McCARTNEY.
>> OBVIOUSLY EVEN IF I DIDN'T
LIKE -- YEAH, OF COURSE.
>> Jimmy: YEAH
>> EVEN IF I DIDN'T LIKE
THE BEATLES, HE'S ENGLISH.
>> Jimmy: WHO DID HE INTRODUCE
YOU TO
>> OH, SO, YOU KNOW HE'S LIKE,
"JESSE, YOU SHOULD MEET MY
FRIEND OREN MOVERMAN."
I WAS LIKE, "IS HE IN
THE BEATLES, TOO?"
HE'S LIKE "NO, NO, NO, NO.
[ LAUGHTER ]
HE'S A WRITER NO ONE EVER HEARD
OF WHO SITS ALONE AND HE'S
DEPRESSED JUST LIKE YOU.
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
I SAID, "OH, OKAY.
GREAT.
[ LAUGHTER ]
LIKE, ANYTIME HE GOES TO, LIKE,
A ROCK CONCERT OR SOMETHING,
TAKES EMMA
IF HE'S GOING TO, LIKE,
A BAR MITZVAH, TAKES ME.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: THAT'S VERY
THOUGHTFUL OF HIM.
>> YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.
>> Jimmy: I WANT TO -- I WANT
TO TALK ABOUT YOUR NEW FILM.
THIS IS A VERY COOL TAKE ON, I
GUESS AN ACTION MOVIE, OR I
GUESS SO
IT'S CALLED "THE ART OF
SELF-DEFENSE."
>> YEAH.
>> Jimmy: AND IT'S LIKE A COOL
TAKE ON A SPORTS MOVIE
>> Jimmy: YEAH, KIND OF.
IT, LIKE, TAKES LIKE, THE
SPORTS MOVIE GENRE AND KIND OF,
LIKE, TWISTS IT ON ITS HEAD TO
BE LIKE A BRILLIANT SATIRE OF,
LIKE, MASCULINITY.
SO, LIKE, MY CHARACTER IS THIS
KIND OF, LIKE, MEEK, TIMID GUY
WHO GETS ATTACKED ON THE
STREET
SO I SIGN UP FOR THIS KARATE
CLASS TO LEARN SELF-DEFENSE.
AND THEN THE MOVIE JUST TURNS
INTO THIS BIZARRE SATIRE ON,
LIKE, CULTS AND THE ABSURDITY
OF, LIKE, YOU KNOW, CRAZED
MASCULINITY.
>> Jimmy: DO YOU -- DO YOU KNOW
KARATE AT ALL?
DID YOU HAVE TO LEARN IT FOR
THE ROLE
>> LIKE, EVERYTHING YOU SEE IN
THE MOVIE IS, LIKE, THE VERY
EXTENT OF WHAT I KNOW.
[ LAUGHTER ]
WHICH IS TO SAY, NO, I'M NOT
GOOD AT IT
>> Jimmy: YEAH, NO
[ LAUGHTER ]
BUT YOU HAVE TO LOOK, LIKE,
A LITTLE BIT LIKE YOU KNOW WHAT
YOU'RE DOING
RIGHT?
KIND OF?
OR -
>> YEAH.
>> Jimmy: -- WELL, I GUESS
YOU'RE LEARNING IN THE MOVIE
>> I'M LIKE A YELLOW BELT.
AND, LIKE, I HAD, LIKE, THREE
WEEKS OF INTENSE TRAINING WITH,
LIKE, ONE OF THE BEST MARTIAL
ARTISTS IN THE WORLD
THIS WOMAN, MINDY KELLY.
AND IT WAS, LIKE, STRESSFUL
BECAUSE SHE WAS TRYING TO,
LIKE, TRAIN ME TO BE GREAT LIKE
HER, WHICH I DON'T KNOW HOW SHE
DIDN'T REALIZE I WOULD NEVER,
YOU KNOW, BE GOOD EVEN
[ LAUGHTER ]
AND BY THE END OF THE TRAINING
I JUST SAID TO HER, YOU KNOW,
"LISTEN, I'M A YELLOW BELT
I DON'T HAVE TO BE GOOD IN THIS
MOVIE AT ALL."
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
AND THEN SHE WAS LIKE, "OKAY,
OKAY, THAT'S FINE.
SO WE STOPPED.
>> Jimmy: YEAH
>> THEN I FINALLY GOT A BREAK.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: YOU GOT -- BUT
EVERYONE ELSE, IT'S GREAT.
AND IF SEEN -- IF YOU'VE SEEN
YOUR SCENES IN THE MOVIE, YOU
LOOK LIKE YOU KNOW WHAT YOU'RE
DOING?
>> YES, I DO
I DO, I DO
>> Jimmy: AND YOU HAVE YOUR OWN
ACTION FIGURE.
I DON'T KNOW IF YOU KNOW THIS.
>> I -- THEY TOLD ME, "YOU'RE
GONNA HAVE AN ACTION FIGURE.
I SAID, "THIS IS AMAZING."
SO, LIKE, EVERY YOUNG BOY IN
AMERICA IS GONNA HAVE AN ACTION
FIGURE OF ME
AND THEY SAID, "NO, NO, NO
WE'RE MAKING TEN."
[ LAUGHTER ]
I SAID LIKE "TEN
TEN?
HOW DO YOU KNOW?
AND THEY WERE LIKE, "WELL,
WE -- WE'RE ACTUALLY AIMING
HIGH
WE GAUGED THE INTEREST AND WE
THINK TEN'S ENOUGH."
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: YOU THINK -- "WE DID
THE RESEARCH
TEN IS ABOUT --"
>> YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.
>> Jimmy: "-- WE'RE HOPING WE
CAN SELL TEN OF THEM."
>> YEAH, EXACTLY
>> Jimmy: WELL, I HAPPEN TO
HAVE ONE OF THEM RIGHT HERE.
>> I'VE ACTUALLY NOT SEEN IT
>> Jimmy: YOU HAVE NOT SEEN?
YOU GUYS WANT TO SEE THE ACTION
FIGURE OF HIM?
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
QUEST, DRUM ROLL PLEASE.
DRUM ROLL.
>> YES
[ DRUM ROLL
>> Jimmy: "THE ART OF
SELF-DEFENSE."
HERE'S JESSE EISENBERG'S ACTION
FIGURE
WOW.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
♪
>> CAN I SEE IT?
>> Jimmy: THAT'S FOR REAL, MAN
>> THIS IS AMAZING
>> Jimmy: THAT'S UNBELIEVABLE,
RIGHT?
>> YEAH, THAT'S REALLY -
WE ACTUALLY -- WE WEIGH THE
SAME
YEAH
>> Jimmy: YEAH, WE WEIGH -
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> YOU KNOW WHAT MADE ME LAUGH
IT SAYS --
>> WHAT?
>> Jimmy: "WITH FISTS -- FIST
KICKING AND FOOT PUNCHING
ACTION."
>> YES, LIKE THE BARE MINIMUM
OF ACTION.
>> Jimmy: YEAH
>> YEAH.
>> Jimmy: BUT IT HAS ACTION
THERE.
>> YEAH, NO, IT'S NOT GONNA DO
THOSE THINGS
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
YEAH, IT'S THIS, LIKE, COOL
SMALL COMPANY, DEATH BY --
DEATH BY TOYS.
>> Jimmy: YEAH
>> AND THEY MAKE, LIKE, LIMITED
BATCH ACTION FIGURES
>> Jimmy: THAT'S ONE OF TEN
ACTION FIGURES
>> YEAH.
>> Jimmy: THAT'S YOU, BUDDY.
>> NOW THERE'S ONLY NINE LEFT,
SORRY.
>> Jimmy: I MEAN -
>> YEAH.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: -- IT DOES LOOK -- I
MEAN, CAN WE -
>> YEAH.
>> Jimmy: DO WE HAVE A SHOT OF
IT
>> UNCANNY
IT'S UNCANNY
>> Jimmy: IT'S UNBELIEVABLE.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> YEAH.
>> Jimmy: THAT IS AMAZING.
>> YEAH.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
YEAH
>> Jimmy: CONGRATULATIONS.
>> THANK YOU, SO MUCH.
>> Jimmy: THAT'S A BIG DEAL.
>> YEAH.
>> Jimmy: I WANT TO SHOW
EVERYONE A CLIP HERE
HERE'S JESSE EISENBERG IN "THE
ART OF SELF-DEFENSE.
TAKE A LOOK AT THIS.
OF MUSIC
>> ADULT CONTEMPORARY?
>> NO, IT SHOULD BE METAL.
YOU EVER LISTEN TO METAL
>> YOU MEAN LIKE HARD ROCK
>> METAL IS MUCH MORE
AGGRESSIVE THAN HARD ROCK.
FROM NOW ON, YOU LISTEN TO
METAL.
>> YEAH.
>> IT'S THE TOUGHEST MUSIC
THERE IS
>> WHAT ABOUT HOBBIES?
IS THERE ANYTHING THAT YOU FEEL
PARTICULARLY PASSIONATE ABOUT
OTHER THAN YOUR NEWFOUND
PASSION FOR METAL?
>> I ENJOY FRANCE.
>> Jimmy: YEAH
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
>> JESSE EISENBERG, EVERYBODY.
"THE ART OF SELF-DEFENSE" IS IN
SELECT THEATERS NOW AND
EVERYWHERE ON FRIDAY
FRAN LEBOWITZ JOINS US AFTER
THE BREAK, STICK AROUND.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
♪
>> Jimmy: STAY RIGHT HERE, ALL
WEEK LONG.
WE GOT SOME GREAT SHOWS COMING
UP
TOMORROW NIGHT,
CHANCE THE RAPPER WILL BE HERE
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
WE'RE GOING TO DO SOMETHING FUN
WITH CHANCE.
THEN LATER IN THE WEEK, WE GOT
JOEL McHALE --
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
AND MUSIC FROM ROBYN
IT'S A GREAT WEEK.
YOU DON'T WANT TO MISS IT.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
STICK AROUND
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH
FRAN LEBOWITZ, EVERYBODY
OH, HOW FUN.
I LOVE FRAN LEBOWITZ
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
♪
>> Jimmy: OUR NEXT GUEST IS
A VERY FUNNY WOMAN,
A CELEBRATED WRITER, AND A
A LEGENDARY NEW YORKER
EVERYONE, PLEASE WELCOME BACK
TO THE SHOW FRAN LEBOWITZ.
♪
>> Jimmy: THANK YOU FOR COMING
BACK TO THE SHOW
YOU'RE ONE OF MY FAVORITE
PEOPLE
SO THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE.
>> YOU'RE WELCOME.
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: YOU KNOW JESSE
YOU MET JESSE EISENBERG?
>> I HAVE MET HIM, YES
>> Jimmy: I HAVE SOMETHING --
YOU HAVE A BIG ANNOUNCEMENT
TODAY.
BECAUSE YOU KNOW, YOU DID THE
DOCUMENTARY --
THERE WAS A DOCUMENTARY THAT
MARTIN SCORSESE DID ABOUT YOU
ON HBO
BUT NOW, YOU ARE DOING A SERIES
ON NETFLIX WITH
MARTIN SCORSESE.
THAT'S AMAZING
I CANNOT WAIT FOR THIS
NOW THIS IS A BIG DEAL
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
I AM YOUR NUMBER ONE FAN
I'M GOING TO WATCH
WHAT IS -- DO YOU HAVE A TITLE
DO YOU HAVE A TITLE?
>> WE HAVE A TITLE, BUT FOR
SOME REASON, I HAVE BEEN TOLD,
"DO NOT SAY THE TITLE.
>> Jimmy: WHAT
>> SO I'M NOT GOING TO SAY THE
TITLE.
I DON'T KNOW WHY
>> Jimmy: THAT'S INTERESTING
BECAUSE I WANT TO TALK ABOUT
THAT SHOW, AND YET WE CAN'T
TALK ABOUT THE SHOW.
>> NO.
>> Jimmy: IS YOUR NAME IN THE
SHOW
>> NO.
>> Jimmy: NO
>> NO.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: BECAUSE I WOULD
SAY -- I WOULD THINK THAT YOUR
NAME WOULD BE GREAT TO HAVE IN
THE SHOW, BUT IT'S NOT
>> WELL, I THOUGHT OF THE
TITLE, SO --
>> Jimmy: YOU KNOW WHAT IT IS.
>> I KNOW WHAT IT IS
>> Jimmy: CAN YOU SAY WHAT IT'S
ABOUT?
CAN YOU SAY WHEN IT'S AIRING
>> NO.
I CANNOT SAY WHEN IT'S AIRING.
[ LAUGHTER ]
NO, NOT BECAUSE --
>> Jimmy: WHY EVEN ASK -
>> NOT BECAUSE I'M NOT ALLOWED
>> Jimmy: WELL WHAT THE HELL,
WHAT CAN WE TALK ABOUT
THIS IS INSANE
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> NOT BECAUSE I'M NOT ALLOWED
TO SAY WHEN IT'S AIRING, BUT
BECAUSE IT'S NOT FINISHED.
>> Jimmy: OH
>> SO IT WILL AIR, I ASSUME
WHEN IT'S FINISHED
BUT FINISHING IT IS NOT UP TO
ME
>> Jimmy: NO
>> IT'S UP TO MARTY.
>> Jimmy: IT'S UP TO MARTY
>> YES
>> Jimmy: YOU GUYS ARE FRIENDS
AND HE GETS TOGETHER AND HE
GOES, "HEY, LET'S JUST DO
A SERIES."
AND IS IT BASED ON JUST WHAT
>> IT IS A -- IT'S BASICALLY
ABOUT NEW YORK
>> Jimmy: YEAH
>> SO LOTS OF IT IS MARTY
TALKING TO ME.
INTERVIEWING ME.
IT'S NOT ONLY ABOUT NEW YORK
HE INTERVIEWED ME ON DIFFERENT
SUBJECTS, MANY OF WHICH ARE
NEW YORK
>> Jimmy: AND HE JUST WANTS TO
KNOW YOUR THEORY, YOUR TAKE ON
THINGS
>> YES, MY TAKE IS ONE WAY OF
PUTTING IT
AND THEN -
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: THERE'S OTHER WAYS OF
PUTTING IT AS WELL, BUT YEAH
>> AND THEN, IT'S ALSO ME
WALKING AROUND NEW YORK
NOTICING THINGS.
>> Jimmy: HOW ARE YOU AND
MARTIN SCORSESE WALKING AROUND
NEW YORK CITY?
>> NO, NO.
MARTY DOESN'T WALK AROUND WITH
ME
HE WANTED -- HE SUGGESTED THAT
IT WOULD BE A GOOD IDEA.
I SUGGESTED IT WOULD BE A VERY
BAD IDEA
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: SO IS HE DIRECTING
YOU FROM A REMOTE VEHICLE?
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
>> UM, YES -
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: HOW DID I GUESS THAT
THAT'S AMAZING
THIS IS AMAZING.
I CANNOT WAIT FOR THIS
SO I DON'T KNOW -- WE DON'T
KNOW THE TITLE
WE DON'T KNOW WHEN IT'S OUT.
BUT WE CANNOT WAIT TO SEE IT
WOW.
THIS IS --
[ LAUGHTER ]
THIS IS A MYSTERY.
IT'S A REALLY -- IT'S A SHROUD
OF MYSTERY
AND IT'S BEAUTIFUL
IT'S A FUN THING
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
I DO LIKE TO HEAR YOUR THOUGHTS
ON DIFFERENT THINGS.
AND I WAS TALKING TO YOU
BACKSTAGE.
AND YOU WERE TELLING ME THAT
YOU RECENTLY GOT OFF THE
SUBWAY -- WAS IT LINCOLN
CENTER
>> YES
AND THIS IS A LOT OF WHAT THIS
UNNAMED SHOW IS ABOUT.
>> Jimmy: YEAH
>> BECAUSE I'VE ALWAYS WALKED
AROUND ALL THE TIME, AND I'VE
ALWAYS NOTICED THINGS.
AND OTHER PEOPLE ALSO USED TO
NOTICE THINGS, BUT THEN,
EVERYONE BUT ME GOT A PHONE.
AND SO, NOW EVERYBODY IS JUST
LOOKING AT THE PHONE AND
THEY'VE BEQUEATHED THE ENTIRE
CITY TO ME
THEY'RE BASICALLY SAYING,
"FRAN, IT'S ALL YOURS.
YOU KNOW THIS.
>> Jimmy: YOU'RE THE ONLY
PERSON PAYING ATTENTION IN THIS
CITY NOT LOOKING AT YOUR PHONE
>> RIGHT, SO YOU CAN NOTICE IT
SO I CAME OUT OF THE SUBWAY.
I WAS GOING TO LINCOLN CENTER.
I CAME OUT ON THE WRONG SIDE
I.E. ON THE OPPOSITE SIDE FROM
THE LINCOLN CENTER
LIKE 67th STREET AND BROADWAY.
>> Jimmy: YEAH
>> AND WHILE I WAS WAITING FOR
THE LIGHT TO CHANGE, SOMETHING
I DO DO.
I NOTICE THAT ON THIS --
WHAT REALLY IS A TRAFFIC
ISLAND, THERE WERE A FEW CHAIRS
AND TABLES
THIS IS SOMETHING BLOOMBERG
STARTED.
WHEN HE STARTED SPRINKLING
KNICK-KNACKS THROUGHOUT THE
CITY
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: KNICK-KNACKS
IT'S A TABLE AND A CHAIR
>> IN THE MIDDLE OF BROADWAY
AND WHEN HE FIRST STARTED DOING
THIS, PEOPLE, YOU KNOW, IN
NEW YORK THOUGHT, NO ONE IS
EVER GOING TO SIT THERE.
BUT WE WERE WRONG.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: CAN YOU IMAGINE?
PEOPLE ARE SITTING THERE
IT'S A POPULAR THING
>> I KNOW.
SO THERE ARE PEOPLE SITTING
THERE.
THERE'S LIKE A COUPLE LITTLE
TABLES, A COUPLE LITTLE CHAIRS
PEOPLE ARE SITTING THERE
LOOKING AT THEIR PHONES.
AND I THEN TURN AROUND, I
NOTICE THERE'S A SIGN.
AND THE SIGN SAYS
RICHARD TUCKER PARK.
RICHARD TUCKER WAS AN OPERA
SINGER, BUT YOU KNEW THAT.
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: DUH, YEAH.
HELLO.
DICK TUCKER?
YEAH, WE KNOW HIM.
[ LAUGHTER ]
I APPRECIATE IT.
THANK YOU.
>> YOU PROBABLY ON YOUR WAY TO
LINCOLN CENTER NOTICED THIS,
TOO.
>> Jimmy: YEAH
>> AND THEN, I THOUGHT -
WELL, THIS IS ACTUALLY, OF
COURSE, NOT A PARK, IT'S A
A TRAFFIC ISLAND
IT'S AS BIG AS THIS DESK
THE ENTIRE THING
>> Jimmy: THAT'S HIS PARK THAT
HE'S DEDICATED -
>> THAT'S THE WHOLE PARK
RICHARD TUCKER PARK.
THAT'S THE WHOLE PARK.
>> Jimmy: YEAH, SURE
THAT IS NICE
>> WITH A FEW TABLES AND
CHAIRS
>> Jimmy: OPERA.
THAT'S WHERE YOY GO SEE AN
OPERA.
THAT'S GOOD.
>> AND THE SIGN HAS, OF COURSE,
RULES.
>> Jimmy: FOR THE PARK
>> YES
THE RULES OF THE PARK.
SO I LOOK TO SEE WHAT THE RULES
OF THE PARK WERE
SO, THE FIRST ONE, OF COURSE,
IS NO SMOKING.
BECAUSE WHO WOULD WANT TO TAINT
THIS PRISTINE AIR THAT'S IN THE
MIDDLE OF EIGHT LANES OF
TRAFFIC.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: THE FRESH AIR OF
EIGHT LANES OF TRAFFIC
EXHAUST, YEAH.
>> YOU KNOW, THE BUSES, THE
TRUCKS, THE CARS
THAT'S NOTHING
NO SMOKING
>> Jimmy: NO SMOKING
>> I KNEW THAT IT WAS GOING TO
SAY THAT
AND I DON'T REMEMBER THE EXACT
ORDER, AND I DON'T REMEMBER ALL
THE OTHER ONES
BECAUSE AS SOON AS I GOT TO "NO
BARBECUING", I WAS STOPPED
[ LAUGHTER ]
SO YOU CAN NOT BARBECUE THERE.
>> Jimmy: YOU THINK THERE'S
A LOT OF BARBECUING GOING
OUTSIDE LINCOLN CENTER
>> NOT ANYMORE, BECAUSE NOW
IT'S AGAINST THE LAW
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: OF COURSE.
>> THERE MIGHT HAVE BEEN SO --
>> Jimmy: YOU CAN SNEAK
A HIBACHI IN THERE
>> SO NOW, YOU CANNOT BARBECUE
THERE.
SO ALL THE PEOPLE WHO
APPARENTLY COULD NEVER THINK TO
GO TO THE OPERA WITHOUT
A COUPLE HOT DOGS FIRST,
THEY -
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: THEY CANNOT DO THAT
ANY MORE
>> THEY CANNOT DO THAT
>> Jimmy: THESE TYPES OF THINGS
ARE GOING TO BE WHAT THE SHOW
MAY OR MAY NOT BE ABOUT?
WHEN IT MAY OR MAY NOT AIR
>> IT WILL EVENTUALLY AIR.
>> Jimmy: YES, IT WILL AIR
>> I MEAN, I ASSUME IT WILL.
>> Jimmy: YES, OF COURSE IT
WILL
>> I MEAN, MARTY HAS TO FINISH
IT IS THE THING.
>> Jimmy: YES.
>> AND EVENTUALLY, IT WILL BE
ON
>> Jimmy: I LOVE YOU -
>> I WILL NEVER SEE IT, BECAUSE
I DON'T HAVE NETFLIX
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: WHAT ARE YOU TALKING
ABOUT?
[ APPLAUSE ]
YOU HAVE TO -- WHY ARE YOU
REFUSING
YOU DON'T HAVE A PHONE
YOU DON'T WANT THIS STUFF IN
YOUR LIFE.
>> I DO NOT.
>> Jimmy: YOU DON'T WANT IT?
>> NO.
>> Jimmy: BUT YOU'RE ON IT
>> SO WHAT
[ LAUGHTER ]
I MEAN -
>> Jimmy; YEAH, BUT ISN'T IT
FUN TO -
WOULD YOU EVER -
>> DO YOU WATCH YOURSELF
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: THIS IS NOT A LIE
DETECTOR
>> ALL RIGHT
>> Jimmy: I DON'T REALLY -
NO, I DON'T WATCH MYSELF
BUT, YOU KNOW, I'M HAPPY THAT
I'M AVAILABLE.
[ LAUGHTER ]
I LIKE KNOWING THAT I'M
AVAILABLE.
>> RIGHT
>> Jimmy: BUT IF I FELT LIKE
WATCHING MYSELF --
>> YOU COULD
>> Jimmy: SURE
I COULD -- YEAH, OR I CAN GET
IT -
>> THAT'S ONE OF THE
DIFFERENCES BETWEEN US,
OTHERWISE WE'RE EXACTLY THE
SAME
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: I WAS GONNA SAY, OR I
COULD GET A MIRROR, YEAH
BUT I DO LIKE -- I DON'T
REALLY -
BUT I -- YEAH, NO, I DON'T
WATCH MYSELF
[ LAUGHTER ]
BUT I LIKE WATCHING YOU.
AND SO -
>> YOU HAVE NETFLIX, YOU COULD
WATCH ME
>> Jimmy: BUT I'M WATCHING YOU
NOW.
>> OKAY, SO IF THAT'S
SUFFICIENT, DON'T WATCH ME
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: ALL RIGHT.
WELL, I WILL STOP WATCHING YOU
NOW.
AND LOOK FORWARD TO WATCHING
YOU IN THE FUTURE.
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
FRAN LEBOWITZ, THANK YOU VERY
MUCH FOR BEING HERE.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
FRAN LEBOWITZ.
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH A
A PERFORMANCE FROM
DENZEL CURRY
STICK AROUND, EVERYBODY.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
♪
>> Jimmy: MAKING HIS TV DEBUT
PERFORMING "RICKY" AND "WISH"
FROM HIS ALBUM "ZUU", GIVE IT
UP FOR DENZEL CURRY!
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
♪
♪ FIRST THEY MOCKIN
NOW THEY HOPPIN'
ALL ON THE WAVE 'CAUSE
THEY SEE ME POPPIN' ♪
♪ BIG BIG BIG
LARGE POCKET
THEY START FLOCKIN' ♪
♪ HERE'S WHAT I SAY
WHEN THEY AS
KEEP KNOCKIN' ♪
>> ONE, TWO, THREE
LET'S GO
♪ MY DADDY SAID
TRUST NO MAN
BUT YOUR BROTHERS ♪
♪ AND NEVER LEAVE
YOUR DAY ONE
IN THE GUTTER ♪
♪ MY DADDY SAID
TREAT YOUNG GIRL
LIKE YOUR MOTHER ♪
♪ MY MAMA SAI
TRUST NO ONE
USE A RUBBER ♪
♪ I'MA ACT ONE TW
STOP THE TRACK ♪
♪ BRING IT BACK
WHAT IT DO
SEE RICKY SAID NEVER
LET NOBODY GET THE ♪
♪ ONE UP ON YOU
IF THEY RUN UP ON YO
HIT 'EM WITH A ONE TWO
OR A BITCH SLAP ♪
♪ LEAVE THE CUL-DE-SA
YOUR BROTHERS GON' HAV
YOUR BACK REGARDLESS
AND STICK WITH YOUR ♪
♪ DAY ONE HOMIE
THAT WAS HER
BEFORE YOU STARTED
AND FEAR NO MAN BUT THE ♪
♪ MAN ABOVE YOUR HEAD
PRAY BEFORE YO
GO TO BE
EVERY DAY MY MAMA SAID ♪
♪ FIRST THEY MOCKIN
NOW THEY HOPPIN'
ALL ON THE WAVE 'CAUSE
THEY SEE ME POPPIN' ♪
♪ BIG BIG BIG
LARGE POCKET
THEY START FLOCKIN' ♪
♪ HERE'S WHAT I SAY
WHEN THEY AS
KEEP KNOCKIN' ♪
>> ONE, TWO, THREE
LET'S GO
♪ MY DADDY SAID
TRUST NO MAN
BUT YOUR BROTHERS ♪
♪ AND NEVER LEAVE
YOUR DAY ONE
IN THE GUTTER ♪
♪ MY DADDY SAID
TREAT YOUNG GIRL
LIKE YOUR MOTHER ♪
♪ MY MAMA SAI
TRUST NO ONE
USE A RUBBER ♪
♪ MY DADDY SAID
TRUST NO MAN
BUT YOUR BROTHERS ♪
♪ AND NEVER LEAVE
YOUR DAY ONE
IN THE GUTTER ♪
♪ MY DADDY SAID
TREAT YOUNG GIRL
LIKE YOUR MOTHER ♪
♪ MY MAMA SAI
TRUST NO ONE
USE A RUBBER ♪
♪ AND YOUR MAMA AIN'T HEY
YOUR DADDY AIN'T HEY ♪
♪ AND I BEEN MAKIN' WAVES
WAY BEFORE NOSTALGIC
THAT WAS BACK IN
CAROL CITY YEAH ♪
♪ WHEN I WAS JUST A JIT
WITH THE ALL-BLACK FADED
DICKIE WITH TH
RAIDER FIT ♪
♪ THAT WAS IT
WE WAS LIT
Y'ALL WASN'T EVEN HIT ♪
♪ WE WAS THREE SI
WU-TANG MIXED WITH DIPSET ♪
♪ RICKY USED TO TAKE ME
TO MY FIRST SHOWS EVER
WOULD ONLY DROP JEWELS WAY ♪
♪ BEFORE THEY
DROPPED CHEDDAR ♪
♪ FIRST THEY MOCKIN
NOW THEY HOPPIN'
ALL ON THE WAVE 'CAUSE
THEY SEE ME POPPIN' ♪
♪ BIG BIG BIG
LARGE POCKET
THEY START FLOCKIN' ♪
♪ HERE'S WHAT I SAY
WHEN THEY AS
KEEP KNOCKIN' ♪
♪
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
♪
♪ FIVE SIX ON
TO THE THREE OH FIVE
NINE FIVE FOUR
AND YOU ALREADY KNOW ♪
♪ THAT'S I'M FROM A PLACE
TO A PLACE THA
NEVER SNOWS
>> LET'S GO.
♪ DREADS TO THE TOP GOL
IN MY MOUTH WOADAY
HOES BY THE FLOCK NO ♪
♪ LET ME STOP WOADA
AND I KEEP A GLOCK
NAW IT'S A GLOCK 4
HANDS ON A KNOT HANDS ♪
♪ ON YOUR BOP WOADA
SHE GOING BUST IT OPEN
FOR SOMEBODY IN DESIGNER
THAT GOING BE THE REASON ♪
♪ WHY SHE LET YOU
GET BEHIND HER
YOU MIGHT BE THE PERSO
THAT'S GOING PROBABLY ♪
♪ WINE AND DINE HER
I'MA TAKE HER HOME
ONLY USING ONE LINER
PULL UP IN A NAVIGATOR ♪
♪ TRUCK EXCURSION
BAD CHICK ON THE SID
OF ME HALF PERSIAN
I DON'T GOT A CAR ♪
♪ BUT I GOT CAR SERVICE
SO MANY CHAINS MAKE
FEEL NERVOUS
WAIT ♪
♪ MY CHICK IS ACTUALL
FROM NICARAGUA
PUT HER ON THE TEAM CAUS
WE BOTH MAKING DOLLARS ♪
♪ HIT HER WITH THE STROKE
GET HER WET LIKE AQU
IF SHE WAS BOP I WOULD
HIT THEN I'LL DROP HER M
♪ HANG WITH THE BROS 'CAUSE
YOU KNOW BLOOD THICKER
I MISS MY VROS S
WE POUR MORE LIQUOR ♪
♪ AND YOU DON'T WAN
NO SMOKE
YOU DON'T WANT NO SWISHE
CAUSE YOU DON'T WANT WAR ♪
♪ WITH A SOUT
FLORIDA HITTER
MIAMI DADE AND
I GOT IT ON MY BACK ♪
♪ I'M POLO DOWN T
THE SOCKS R.I.P. MAC
IT'S R.I.P X
AND R.I.P TREE ♪
♪ I'MA DO IT FOR MY DAWGS
THIS FOR ALL OF MY G
DREADS TO THE TOP GOLD ♪
♪ IN MY MOUTH WOADA
GIRLS BY THE FLOCK
NO LET ME STOP WOADA
AND I KEEP A GLOCK NAW ♪
♪ IT'S A GLOCK 40
HANDS ON A KNOT HAND
ON YOUR BOP WOADAY
SHE GOING BUST IT OPEN ♪
♪ FOR SOMEBODY IN DESIGNE
THAT GOING BE THE REASON
WHY SHE LET YO
GET BEHIND HER ♪
♪ YOU MIGHT BE THE PERSON
THAT'S GOING PROBABL
WINE AND DINE HER ♪
♪ I'MA TAKE HER HOM
ONLY USING
ONE LINERS ♪
♪ COUNTY LINE
ALL THE WAY TO P RHYME ♪
♪ FIVE SIX ON
TO THE THREE OH FIVE
NINE FIVE FOUR
YOU SHOULD ALREADY KNOW ♪
♪ THAT I'M COME FRO
A PLACE THAT THE CIT
WHERE IT DON'T SNOW ♪
>> I'M OUT
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
>> Jimmy: THAT'S HOW YOU DO IT
THAT'S HOW YOU DO IT RIGHT
THERE.
DENZEL CURRY
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
THAT'S HOW YOU DO IT
"ZUU" IS OUT NOW
"ZUU"!
YEAH, STANDING O
NOT BAD, BUDDY
MY THANKS TO JESSE EISENBERG,
FRAN LEBOWITZ.
DENZEL CURRY, ONCE AGAIN
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
GREAT, MAN
THANK YOU SO MUCH.
AND THE ROOTS, RIGHT THERE,
FROM
PHILADELPHIA, PENNSYLVANIA
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
STAY TUNED FOR "LATE NIGHT WITH
SETH MEYERS.
THANK YOU FOR WATCHING
HAVE A GREAT NIGHT
HOPE TO SEE YOU TOMORROW
BYE-BYE, EVERYBODY
THAT WAS GREAT, MAN.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
♪