hi guys how are you doing today I hope
you're having a beautiful and blessed
day if you're having a sour day just
think of one thing that you can be
grateful for right now it doesn't have
to be something big if something
horrible happened to you today
think of an empowering meaning that you
can get from it so today you know I'm
just grateful that I woke up you know
I'm just grateful that I can put both
feet on the ground that I have two
strong feet find one thing you're
grateful for and you can change your
whole day around so today's video I'm
going to be talking to you about
something that might be very attractive
to you and it's how to make somebody
obsessed with you how to make somebody
your love slave so whether or not you're
in a relationship this video can help
you because it's not just about
relationships it's about all areas of
life
because I'm talking about the six human
needs today so six human needs are needs
that every single being has
regardless of where you're from or
whether or not you're aware of this we
all have these needs and they all have
to be met on a certain level the
difference is that every human has to
talk needs that are different from the
other maybe not every human there may be
similar needs but you might meet them on
different in different ways so if you
don't meet your needs in the same way as
a person next to you or your partner so
the 60s are really important to know
because it's going to affect your
personal life your family life your
relationships your career all of these
areas in life you can if you have the
awareness of what your needs are you can
say okay maybe I don't really enjoy my
job because I'm not meeting any of my
needs so if you are a person who loves
your job you're obsessed with it and
you're a workaholic it's probably
because it's meeting all six of these
human needs so let's dive into it I'm
going to start with me number one me
number one is certainty so we are wired
to need strength we need to have
certainty that you know life is going to
continue I'm going to have certainty
that this building right now isn't going
to collapse because if I felt like maybe
the floors might collapse I'm not going
to be wasting my time recording this
video I've been getting the hell out of
here
we all need certainties to some extent
some people value it more than others I
know personally I have you know my mom
she valued certainty a lot she likes to
make sure that she's always safe she
wants to live within her comfort zone
because she knows what she's turned up
she doesn't want to stray outside of
that because she feels insecure
certainty can be found in your
relationship so you might find someone
who gives you a lot of certainty or you
give them a lot of certainty by really
knowing that you're committed to each
other so you can get certainty from
smoking a cigarette because when you're
you know anxious you know that when you
get that cigarette you're going to feel
at ease and by the way the reason that
you feel that is because on that exhale
which is usually blown out pretty slowly
you're actually putting in and exhaling
a lot of oxygen and that helps to calm
your nervous system so it's not actually
this bigger Rhett it's the breathing
that helps to calm you that's why
meditation is so powerful you can get
certainty from working out you know you
get this pump and you feel so good and
so strong and you're like yeah I'm the
man the shit that's certainty have you
ever been to the movie that you've
already seen before it's probably
because you have certainty that the
movie is really amazing cuz you've seen
it before and you hope that it's been a
long enough time that you kind of forget
what happened so that you can still get
a little bit of thrill from it so I mean
there's just so many different ways to
meeting the need of certainty but making
sure that you're not driven by this if
this is your number one driving force
your number one need you're never going
to have adventure and you're going to
get bored so the thing is with certainty
is that too much certainty leads to
boredom and we don't like boredom we're
more beans that like thrill an adventure
to some extent whether you realize it or
not that's why the second need is a
variety it's uncertainty basically so
being uncertain about things that's you
know unpredictable things surprises you
know going on adventures traveling
uncertainty is feeling alive feeling the
thrill you know I like to have
uncertainty with adventure and travel I
like to travel a lot I don't
to plan things too much when I travel
because I like to feel how I am when I
get there and see you know what life
brings to me that's an uncertainty that
I like so there's certainty uncertainty
Koller opposites but we have both needs
and they need to be met to some extent
number three is significant significance
is a big one it's a big driving force of
a lot of people especially men women are
more for the next week but the need for
significance is basically the need of
feeling that you're important feeling
that people need you feeling that people
like you feeling you know for example a
lot of youtubers right we're on YouTube
making videos every time you get another
thousand followers you get a little bit
of thrill that thrill is from feeling
significant it's from feeling like
people are watching your videos and
they're getting value from you or it's
feeling like wow like look how many
people look how popular I am I'm so
significant to all these other people
significance can be found very easily in
bullies people who in school bully other
children they just want to feel a
significance value so when a kid goes up
to a kid and says give me your lunch
money Punk or I'll beat you up the other
kid immediately responds by just giving
the lunch money and it gives the bully a
feeling of power of dominance that's why
violence is so prominent in our society
because unfortunately violence needs at
violence meets most of the needs on high
levels it's a negative way but it does
mean most of the needs so if someone
points a gun to your head right now you
know and says give me all your fucking
money I didn't want to say that alright
guys so someone points a gun to your
head right now and says give me all your
money
or I'm going to shoot you so immediately
you drop whatever you're doing and you
give that person your money the person
with the gun is going to feel this
instant need of significance because
from a level of 1 to 10 how significant
is that person in your life right now
that person's 100 doesn't matter what
else you're doing right now
person's 100 because he's pointing down
right at your head
so significance is met certainty is met
because the guy was a gun knows that
you're going to give them as law it's
just like you know if you don't do it
you're stupid right so certainty is met
variety is met because this person can
go up and do this wherever you want you
know go to a 7-eleven go to wherever it
is just a lot of variety a lot of
excitement that happens so already three
needs are being met so if we dive into
the other ones you'll see why violence
is so prominent so the need for
significance can also hurt you if you
value significance too much you're
always going to feel a little bit of
emptiness because you're relying on
other people to fulfill you you're
relying on the approval of other people
you're relying on the how much people
like you and the fact is that yes you
might be an amazing person but even the
most amazing people in the world have
haters and if you value significance so
much you're going to go down a really
bad hole ok need number four is love in
connection so love and connection are
grouped together but they're not the
same things the need for connection is
really the need it doesn't have to be in
a relationship you can be connected with
your all mind social media followers
that you don't even know that's a need
for connection you can be connected over
dinner with friends you can be connected
over you know a boardroom meeting you
feel connected to everybody there you
can feel connected over a game of golf
or you know surfing you can feel that
connection it's whenever you just feel a
sense of connectedness with
other beings okay it doesn't even have
to be with beans you can feel connected
to your animals like I love the hell out
of my dog and I feel a huge sense of
connection with him and I know he feels
the same thing with me that's connection
love is I mean I think you know what
love is it's really going to that next
level most people settle for connection
because they're too scared to be
vulnerable for love and the problem with
that is that love is much deeper than
connection so if you are always signing
that you stay on connection it's because
you're not opening yourself up enough
to open yourself up to love because
connection is more it's not as great and
it's a need but it's not as deep as love
and if you can get yourself to the point
of love you're going to experience more
fulfillment in your life so that's me
number four now those are the four most
prominent means these are the needs that
need to be met by everyone no matter
what okay so the four needs the next two
needs are needs that are really going to
to fill your life and take your legs to
the next level and make you feel like
you know a million bucks and the thing
is a million bucks
you can be a billionaire and you can
still be unhappy and why is that it's
because these two needs might not be met
so the stick whether they say the fifth
need now is the need for growth so to
grow if we don't grow we die this is
science
this is a fact if a tree doesn't grow it
dies if a baby doesn't grow it dies if
the plant doesn't grow it dies if the
butterfly doesn't grow it dies we all
need to grow and this is spiritually
this is with your career this is the
relationship this is with every area of
your life so for me personally growth is
my second driving need and for me I feel
like I constantly need to grow I created
a YouTube channel I'm creating this
video because yes sure it might help
somebody across but it's also helping me
because it's reinforcing what I'm put
going on in my mind by speaking it aloud
when you teach something you learn it
better yourself so this is actually
going to help me more than it's going to
help you so I'm reinforcing what I've
already stored up here and seeing it
verbally okay so that's part of my need
to grow I want to grow I don't just want
to know things I want to live things and
I want to teach things so it's just I'm
constantly feeling the need to grow you
know I do my makeup and I listen to
podcasts or I'm at the gym and I listen
to audiobooks or I'm M Masson and I read
physical books you know like I'm always
trying to find ways to grow because it's
a need doesn't mean that it's the right
thing to do doesn't mean that it's the
wrong thing to do it's just one of my
top two needs so
Rose is huge but it's like the next
level to really be in fulfilled so if
you feel like you're not really
fulfilled in your life it's because you
might not be meeting these next two
needs so growth is the first the six
need is contribution so we all have a
desire within us to contribute to others
you might be you know feeling like
you're the most hatred you know you're
just full of hate and you don't ever
want to contribute to other people and
you just hate the world and everything
but no matter what there's always going
to be a need within you that wants to
contribute and add value to other people
so excuse me you might find this in
different ways so for example some
people they find contribution by going
to Ethiopia and building houses and
schools for people some people like to
do charity work volunteer at the
Salvation Army some people like to adopt
a child you know some people like to
pick up garbage from streets some people
like to become coaches because they want
to contribute to other people's lives
some people just want to become a
billionaire just so that they can donate
all that money so there's different ways
of contributing there's really big ways
there's really small ways regardless of
how big it is it's the need that's being
met so even if you give ten cents to a
homeless person on the street you're
going to feel just as great about
yourself and your contribution and if
you were to give that person a hundred
dollars so silly it's fulfilling this
need and contribution by the way it's
not that you're expecting something back
so when you contribute to somebody else
without any expectancy of receiving
anything back that's true contributions
so you know if you make a big donation
to this charity you're not going to
proclaim this the world you're not going
to create a YouTube video and say hey I
just made all this money and I just
donate it all that's not 100% true
contribution because that means that
you're trying to get significant you're
trying to have other people see what
you've done and give you praise for it
if you do a hundred percent true
contribution it's behind closed doors
okay so people don't really know about
it not hundreds inaccurate people you
can still you know share with people you
can have your name publicly written but
if you're going to go and elaborate
of your way and making a video and say
guess what I did and you know all this
stuff there is still a need of
significant 15 match
so regardless those are the two the next
two needs that take your life to the
next level so if you can get those needs
met you will be very fulfilled so now
let's bring this back to your
relationship now let's consider this if
you value certainty over love then
you're going to have an entirely
different life than if you valued love
over certainty so if you figure out the
your top two needs are certainty and
then love good you've come to the
awareness you've come to the realization
that that's what your needs are now
figure out a way that you can move love
above certainty and your life will
completely change so just switching the
need okay and anybody can do this and
you can do this in an instant you can
take it action right now to figure out
ways to do that and it's really just a
mindset shift okay so now if you bring
it back to your relationship okay if you
meet one person's need they can be a
friend or an acquaintance
if you meet two of their needs they can
be a really close friend maybe a
relationship three of those needs you've
got a relationship you've got love and
connection okay four of those needs your
you're invested
you're invested in that person if a
person needs six of your needs there
your love slave they will never leave
you
so for example if you're on the verge of
breaking up with someone and you know
you say I gave this person everything I
did everything for her she you know took
everything from me and I just gave
everything I had well first of all is
that true did you give everything
probably not because if you did you'll
be meeting all of her six needs and you
would not be ending a relationship right
now there would be no problems if you
meet all of these six needs not just
Mesa but meet them at high levels your
relationship will never end remember do
what you did in the beginning and there
will be no end so that means that do
what you did when you first met that
person recording the you know
complementing the adventure if you do
all these things
you did in the beginning of the
relationship that made it thrive that
made it exciting there's not going to be
an end okay yes it's going to be
challenging but it's simple so it's a
simple thing all you have to do is
recognize and have the awareness of it
now you have the awareness of it so now
you can take action so right now
remember it takes one okay it doesn't
take two to change a relationship it
takes one person so if you're watching
this video and your husband you're not
you feel like you're falling apart don't
go up to him and say oh watch this video
Tatiana was talking about the needs you
really need to know this stuff so we can
fix their relationships no you don't
have to do that he doesn't have to watch
this video
all you have to do is give to him so a
relationship is giving without any
expectancy if you expect something back
that's a transaction okay so all you
have to do is you go and you give you
fight her out first you know take some
time to yourself right down the 16
minutes and really ask yourself honestly
how am i meeting his needs right now if
I put myself in his shoes how would he
feel so how much certainty is he getting
for me how much love and connection is
he getting for me how much significant
all of these needs ask yourself honestly
and rate them once you've done that you
can see where you're really lacking also
try and identify his top two needs so
you know what his needs are and then you
can go out of your way every single day
to make sure you're meeting his needs at
higher levels eventually he's going to
notice a difference okay and he's going
to feel more fulfills he's going to
express my love to you and it's going to
be reciprocated and then at that time
you can share with him you know I've
been just feeling so much better and
this is why it's because I learned about
these six human needs and I would love
to share this with you and it would mean
a lot to me when you come to him from
this approach it's not really a way of
attacking him and saying that you're not
meeting my needs and you need to watch
this video it's more saying that I
understand I didn't meet your needs and
I'm sorry for that and I'm working on
meeting your needs at a higher level I
would love for you if you could also
watch this video so that we can make our
relationship take it to the next level
and make it amazing
something that you can also do in your
mind and verbally is a prayer it's like
an ohm on something prayer I can't
recall the exact name and basically what
it is is regardless if you're right or
wrong I think a lot of couples fight
because one person's right one person is
wrong they both think they're right but
they don't want to admit it because
we're just so in our ego we need to get
out of our ego if you really love the
person you'll know that being right
isn't worth the sacrifice of bringing
the relationship down it's not worth the
heartache it's not worth the stress it's
not worth the fighting so even if you
know in your heart that you're right
just forget it
let it go okay would it be okay if you
let this go now
yes you could you know it's post
partners that I'm sorry there's not
going to be any fighting so one thing
that you can say in your mind or aloud
as you can say I'm sorry I loved you
please forgive me thank you I'm sorry
I love you please forgive me thank you
I'm sorry I love you please forgive me
thank you so whenever you're really like
rattled up in your mind say this prayer
okay give loves that person realized
that nobody's right nobody's wrong you
know get out of your ego and thinking
that you're always right say this prayer
in your mind and if you're willing or
able say it out loud go to your partner
you know they might be in a horrible
state right now but you can change their
state in an instant all you got to say
is thank you
I'm sorry please forgive me I love you
and this person's going to know okay if
they don't melt they don't have a heart
that's not true but so that's all it is
you guys all it is is meeting each
other's meets it's so simple one of the
best ways that you can ensure that this
is long-lasting and that you're
continuously meeting each other's needs
is having a relationship book so my
boyfriend and I actually have a video
that I recorded a year ago on the
relationship Journal and every time we
do like a weekly or bi-weekly check-in
so we sit together no electronics no
distractions
and we sit and we give each other
undivided attention okay we give each
other our focus and we ask each other
okay how am i meeting your needs right
now on a level from one to ten with
certainty and I think about it and then
I answer and I we go through all the
needs and then when there's a need
that's not as high then we figure out
okay he says you know what can I do
right now to meet this need at a higher
level and I think about it I answer so
this is great because it allows you to
really evaluate your week and whenever
anything is going down dropping low you
catch it before it gets so low that you
feel trapped and you feel like you have
to end the relationship okay because if
you really love the person you can make
it work there's always a way to make it
work if it's true love okay um yeah so I
encourage you today to start your
relationship book and all you got to do
is get a journal you know start it you
can start by meeting your partner's
needs quietly you don't have to tell
them about this you know over a couple
of weeks you can share with them your
relationship book share with them what
you've learned also know that there are
five love languages I highly recommend
reading this book the five love
languages can't recall the author's name
definitely important so when you learn
the way that your partner likes to
receive love then you can give that
person love in a much more meaningful
way so sometimes the way that I like to
receive love isn't the way that my
partner likes to receive love and I need
to understand the way that he feels love
so for me I feel love from you know
praise no oh you're so beautiful I love
you thank you so much verbal
communication but for him it's physical
touch and I give him a lot of verbal
communication I might think that I'm
giving him a bunch of love right now but
he's not receiving it because his need
his way of accepting and receiving love
is physical touch so I need to touch
them touch a pair give a massage all of
that stuff so knowing that it's so
important so definitely recommend that
book and do the six human needs and
you're going to be solid they
for watching guys if you like this video
please comment down below please
subscribe it means a lot to me I'm so so
appreciative to have you know you guys
on YouTube I love all of you
you're just so amazing and I learned so
much from you every single day and
please like the video as well if you
want more videos like this more videos
on self-development on growth on
relationships I'd be more than happy to
share with you because like I said this
helps me to this helps me grow as a
person and I do feel like I need a lot
of needs when I create videos like this
so thank you so much I love you and have
a wonderful day