edited by: *** Pao's Dad (ρ) ***
School day, school day, teacher's golden ru
Ah, damn it! My little brother's trying to follow me to school, again.
Zeeponanner
Ike, you can't come to school with me.
Yeah, go home you little dildo.
Dude, don't call my brother a dildo!
What's a dildo?
Well, I don't know. and I'll bet Cartman doesn't know either.
I know what it means!
Well, what?
I'm not telling you.
What's a dildo Kenny?
Mrmmrmpmpmp
Huh, yeah, that's what Kyle's little brother is all right!
Dude! That kicks ass!
Yeah, check this one out. Ready, Ike? Kick the baby!
Don't kick the baby.
Kick the baby.
Whoa, Cartman, looks like you didn't get much sleep last night.
That's 'cause I was having these bogus nightmares.
Really? What about?
Well, I dreamt that I was lying in my bed.. in the dark.
When all of a sudden this bright blue light filled the room.
Then slowly my bedroom door begin to open
and the next thing I remember I was being drug through a hallway
Then I was lying on a table
and these scary hands wanted to operate on me
And they had big heads and big black eyes.
Dude! Visitors!
Totally!
What?
That wasn't a dream Cartman, those were visitors!
No, it was just a dream, my mom said so.
Visitors are real.
Yeah, they abduct people and they mutilate cows.
Oh, shut-up guys you're just trying to make me scared. And it's not working.
Hello there, children.
Hey, Chef.
What's going to be for lunch today?
Well, today it's Salisbury steak with buttered noodles and a choice of green bean casserole... or vegetable medley.
Kick ass.
Say, did any of you children see the alien space ship last night?
Huh.
Yeah, fat boy saw it!
Eh, no, that, that was just a dream... and I'm not fat, I'm big boned.
Oh, was it the ones with the big long heads and the black eyes?
Oh!
They took him on their ship.
Oh! Did they give you an anal probe?
Oh!
What's an anal probe?
That's when they put a big metal hooba-jube up yo' butt.
Whoa, they gave you an anal probe Cartman?
No! I I mean, eh, why would they do that?
Dude, they did, huh? Aliens stuck stuff up your ass?!?
No!
Ahal probe
Shut-up dildo!
Well, I gotta get to the cafeteria. You boys watch that fat boy now. He could be under alien control.
We told you they were real Cartman. Sorry to hear about your ass.
God damn it, they didn't do anything to my ass. It was just a dream
Why are you walkin' so funny Cartman?
Shut-up!
I play today.
No, Ike, go home. This is it, this ones for the game.
Purple.
Kick the baby!
Good morning, Miss Crabtree.
Sit down! We're runnin' late!
Damn it, he's still there.
Oh, don't worry about him.
No, dude, if something happens to him, my parents are gonna blame me.
I SAID SIT DOWN!
Yeah, whatever ya fat bitch!
What did you say?
I said I have a bad itch.
Oh.
Huh! Oh my god! Visitors
Ike!
Stop the bus! Miss Crabtree, you have to stop this bus!
Do you want an office referral?
No.
Then sit down!
But I...
Ahhhh!
Cartman, are those the same visitors you saw?
Shut-up you guys it's not working.
We have to do something.
Well, we can't do anything for now, that fat bitch won't let us.
What did you say?
Uh, I said that rabbits eat lettuce.
Oh. Well, yes, they certainly do.
What am I going to do? My little brother's been abducted by aliens.
You farted.
Somebody's baking brownies.
This is the third cow this month. At this rate all of my cattle are gonna die before the winter's through.
Moo
This is nothing out of the unusual. Cows turn themselves inside out all the time.
People's been saying they've been seeing UFO's around.
UFO's?
Yeah, and black army, CIA helicopters and trucks.
That is the silliest thing I've ever heard.
What was that?
That, that was a pigeon.
What am I supposed to do, Barbrady?
Just stand here and watch my cattle get mutilated one by one.
Hey! My cattle!
You see, there is somethin' funny goin' on!
There's nothing funny going on. I'll get those cows back.
And now children, our friend, Mr. Hat, is going to tell us about Christopher Columbus'.
That's right, Mr. Garrison.
Christopher Columbus discovered America and was the Indian's best friend.
He helped the Indians win their war against Fredrick Douglass
and a, and a freed the Hebrews from Napoleon and discovered France....
Oh, man. I can't just sit here, I have to help my stupid brother,
I'll come home without him and my dad will start yelling "Where's your brother, Kyle?"
"You weren't looking out for your little brother, Kyle?" ...
Okay, okay, let's ditch school and go find him.
... "You know he can't think on his own, Kyle!" "Brush and floss, Kyle!"
"Where has that finger been, Kyle?"
Dude!
Is there a problem, boys?
Yes, Mr. Garrison, I have to go now.
Oh, really, Kyle? What is it this time? Another prostate tumor?
No, my little brother's been abducted by aliens.
It's true! Ask Cartman, they gave him an anal probe.
Heh, heh, that's a, that's, that's just a little joke. Heh, heh.
Mr. Garrison, seriously, I have to go. Can I please be excused from class?
I don't know, Kyle. Did you ask Mr. Hat?
I don't want to ask Mr. Hat, I'm asking you
Oh I think you should ask Mr. Hat.
Mr. Hat, may I please be excused from class?
Well, Kyle. No!! You hear me?!?
You go to hell! You go to hell and you die!
Hmm, I guess you'll have to take your seat, Kyle.
Damn it!
Hah, hah. Mr. Hat yelled at you.
Ow! My ass!
Dude.
Damn, Cartman.
Ow! My ass!
It's the alien anal probe. It's shooting fire from Cartman's rectum.
No, that was just a dream.
Eric, do you need to sit in the corner until your flaming gas is under control.
No, Mr. Garrison, I'm fine.
Hey, you cows can't get on this train! This is a people train.
You cows have no business on a people train, all right? 'Cause your cows.
No, no, no. Don't try any of that cow hypnosis on me, all right? 'Cause it's not gonna work.
Hold it right there, cows!
Come back here!
So then I had ...
Ya, seriously, killer.
Oh, ooh, I sure am hungry.
How can you eat when you're farting fire?
Shut-up, dude, you're being totally immature.
Hey, look, there's Wendy Testeburger.
Huh, where?
Stan wants to kiss... Wendy Testeburger.
Shut-up, fat ass, I don't even like her.
I'm not fat... and you obviously like her because you throw up every time she talks to you.
I do not.
Hi, guys.
Hi, Wendy.
Here, Stan. This is for you.
Bye, Wendy.
Dude, what does the note say?
Holy crap! It says she wants to meet me at Stark's pond after school.
Whoa! Maybe you can kiss her.
Or slip her the tongue.
Mhhmhmmmh
What? How do you know she has a cat?
Come on you guys, we need to figure out how to get out of school so we can get my little brother back.
Hello, there, children.
Hey, Chef.
How are you doing?
Bad.
Why bad?
Chef, have you ever had something happen to you, but nobody believed you?
Oh, children, children, that's a problem we've all had to face at some time or another.
Here, let me sing you a little song. It might clear things up.
I'm gonna make love to ya woman, gonna lay you down by the fire. And caress your womanly body, make ya moan and perspire. Gonna ...
Uh, Chef.
... get those juices flowin'...
Chef!
... we makin' love, baby, love, baby, love, love, love, love, love, baby! ...
Chef!
...love... huh? Do you feel better?
No.
Oh, come on children, what could be so bad? It's Salisbury steak day.
Visitors took Kyle's baby brother.
What?!?
What the hell do you think you're doing in school eatin' Salisbury steak? Go find him damn it!
Mr. Garrison won't let us out of school. He thinks we're making it up.
You are making it up.
Whoa!
What?
That was cool!
It's some kind of symbiotic, metamorphosis device. This could mean the visitors want to communicate with us.
Oh, I see. Now you're going to join in on the little joke huh?
It's no joke, children, this is big!
Please, chef, if I don't get out of school and get my little brother back from the aliens, my parents are gonna disown me.
Ahh, hold on, hold on now. You, you you, gotta help the children.
You guys sure are going a long ways to try and scare me. I want my Salisbury steak!
Fire drill! Fire drill! Everybody out! Okay children, this is your chance!
Killer, thanks Chef.
Man oh man, first contact with the alien visitors. I've got to get myself ready.
We got out of school! No more school today, we got out of school...
Oh, you guys, my ass, seriously.
Okay, Cartman, we got out of school, you can stop farting fire now.
I would if I could you son of a bitch!
Okay, so how do we get my little brother back?
Would you stop going on about your little brother? I know it was just a dream.
I know I didn't have an anal probe. And I know that I am not under alien control!
I love to sing-a! About the moon-a and June-a and the spring-a.
I love to sing-a about a sky of blue-a or a tea or a two-a
What the hell was that?
He is under alien control. That thing in his butt is linked up to the visitors!
Ah, son of a bitch!
You guys, shut-up! I'm not under alien control.
Hey, if you visitors can hear me, bring me back my little brother god damn it!
Ow! That hurts you buttlicker!
Kyle, look! It's them.
Give me back my brother!
Oh my god! They've killed Kenny!
You bastards! Come back here! Come back! Damn it, we were so close.
Hey look, I think Kenny's okay.
No, I, I'm alright. Ahhhh!
Owww.
Nope, I'm fine. Ah!
Wow, poor Kenny.
Now do you believe us Cartman?
No!
Cartman, they killed Kenny!
He's not dead.
Dude, Kenny is dead. See.
Shut-up you guys.
He's dead.
God damn it, I didn't have an anal probe! Screw you guys, I'm goin' home.
Go on and go home you fat chicken!
Dildo!
You're all I have left Stan.
Sorry, dude, I gotta go meet Wendy Testeburger.
You can't! Poor Ike must be so scared up there all alone. You gotta help me dude!
Dude, like Chef says, I've gotta get a piece of lovin' while the gettin's hot.
Rats.
Hello, Eric
Hi, mom!
How are you doing?
Well, I'm pissed off.
Here, I made you powdered donut pancake surprise.
I don't want powdered donut pancake surprise. All the kids at school call me fat!
You're not fat, you're big boned.
That's what I said.
You can have an insy weensy bit, can't you?
No!
Just a weensy insy woo woo?
No! Leave me alone, mom!
How about a nice chocolate chicken pot pie, then?
What? Well, that does sound pretty good. Un, mom?
Yes, hon?
If anybody calls or comes over, I'm not here, okay?
Sure, hon. You want some cheesy poofs, too?
Yeah, I want cheesy poofs.
Well, it looks like she's not going to show up Stan. Let's go look for the visitors, now.
But her note said she'd be here.
Hi, Stan.
Eww!
You can't talk to Stan Wendy. He throws up when you do.
But why Stan?
Eww!
Look, can you guys just get down to business so I can go find my little brother.
Huh?
Just make sweet love down by the fire.
What happened to your little brother?
As the reports of UFO sightings increase, more mysterious crop circle patterns are appearing in fields all around South Park.
These crop circles, when viewed from above, form strange patterns.
Hey, that kind of looks like... Tom Selleck.
Could it be that aliens are trying to make contact with us, here on earth.
No, kitty, this is mah pot pie.
No kitty, get back kitty
No kitty it's mah pot pie!
Mom! Kitty's being a dildo!
Well, then I know a certain kitty kitty who's sleeping with mommy tonight.
What?
Now I have to go home without him and my parents are going to have me killed.
Well, why don't you go get the fat kid?
Why?
Well, if the fat kid has something implanted in his ass, maybe the visitors are using him as part of their plan.
You should use the fat kid as bait to bring them back.
Hey. You're right, Wendy. Come on Stan, we have to go get Cartman.
Come on, Stan.
Eww!
Hey, wait, when do I get to make sweet love?
No, kitty, you can't have any!
No, kitty, this is mah pot pie. Bad kitty!
Eh, 'scuse me, Kitty.
Eric, look who's here.
Dude, weak mom.
Come on Eric, we're going to go play at the bus stop.
I can't, my mom said...
That's okay, Eric, I think you need to go spend time with your little friends.
But mom, I don't want to spend time with my little friends.
Don't be difficult, Eric! Uh hum, now you go out and play in the fun snow.
Oh, god damn it!
You guys, I have to get home.
Don't be such a fraidy cat, Cartman. This rope will make sure they can't take you on board again.
Oh, man, this sucks.
How come the visitors aren't coming for him.
I think we have to signal them somehow.
Ow!
Hey, he's like Rudolph.
Yeah, all you have to do is fart some more, Cartman! And the visitors are sure to come!
Really? Uh, I don't think I can fart anymore tonight.
Sure you do!
Come on Cartman, fart!
I don't wanna.
He can't hold it in forever.
Fart, damn you!
Okay, that's does it! Now listen!
Why is it that everything today has involved things either going in or coming out of my ass?
I'm sick of it! It's completely immature.
Hey, it's happening again.
Whoa, look at that.
Now, do you believe us, Cartman?
You guys can't scare me! I know you're making it all up.
Cartman, there's an 80-foot satellite dish sticking out of your ass.
Sure, you guys, whatever.
Oh, boy. The aliens are going to make first contact. Hey,down here, we are ready for your wisdom!
And you've only got 20 minutes before Sanford and Son is on.
You guys, I am seriously getting pissed off right now! I know there is no such things as aliens!
Oh, God damn it!
What the? I tell you, there are some crazy stuff going on in this town.
You can say that again, Mr. Garrison.
Come down here you stinking aliens!
Uh, uh.
Go on, Kyle, ask 'em for your little brother back.
Vi, Visitors, this morning you took my little brother, Ike.
He's the little freckled kid that looks like a football. At first, I was happy you took him away.
But I've learned something today. That having a little brother... is a pretty special thing.
Yeah.
Ah, heck, Mr. Visitors, I'm just a kid all alone in this crazy world,
but if you could find it in your hearts or whatever you have,
to give my brother back to me, it sure would make my life brighter again.
That was beautiful, dude.
Did it work?
No, they're leaving.
Hey, you scrawny ass shithead, what the fuck is wrong with you?!
You must be some kind of fucking asshole to be able to ignore a crying child!
Whoa, dude!
You know what you fucking like, you like to !@#$% and !@#$% and !@#$% and !@#$% and !@#$%
Hey Wendy, what's a !@#$%?
Ike, jump down, now! For the love of god, Ike, jump!
Moo moo moo, moo moo moo, mooo
Greetings, cows of Earth, we come in peace.
Really??
Come on, Ike! I promise I'll be nice to you from now on!
Don't kick the baby.
We have experimented with all the beings of Earth, and we have learned that you are the most intelligent and wise.
What the hell are they talking about?
Why did you turn some of us inside out?
Oh, that was Carl's fault. He's new.
Yeah, sorry about that, my bad!
Ike!
Take this device. It's a gift from us.
Ike! Do your impersonation of David Caruso's career!
It's my turn!
Farewell, cows, may peace be with you.
You guys, get me down from har!
Ow! Help! Sons of bitches! Dildo!
Phew, I'm sure glad that's over with.
Yeah. Boy, am I glad to see you, Ike.
Oh, he fly out of the sky.
Wait, where are you going alien visitors? Come back!
Well, Chef, where's this amazing thing you were going to show us.
Well, it's in the bedroom, ladies. Come on in.
Come on, Ike, we can make it just in time for dinner.
Thanks for your help, Wendy.
Whatever, dude.
Hey, I didn't throw up.
Cool.
Eww!
Sorry.
Hey, look. A french fry.
Cool.
And what is that?
I think it's part of a cheesy poof.
Hey, what's that?
That's... a hamburger from... that's from, like, two days ago.
Hey, what about that?
I don't know what the hell that is.
Gee, the bus'll be here any minute, and Cartman still isn't around.
Yeh, we're running out of friends.
I wonder what that thing was that the visitors gave the cows.
Mooo.
Ha ha cows! I've got you cornered. Let's see you get away now.
I love to sing-a, about the moon-a and the June-a and the Spring-a, I love to sing-a, 'bout a sky of blue-a or a tea for two-a...
Puh.
Oh, hey Cartman.
Wow Cartman, the visitors dropped you off just in time to go to school.
Ah, man, I had this crazy nightmare lastnight.
Really, what about?
Well, I was standing out in a field, and I had this huge satellite dish sticking out of my butt.
And then there was hundreds of cows and aliens, and then I went up on the ship and Scott Baio gave me pinkeye.
That wasn't a dream Cartman, that really happened.
Oh, right. Why don't I have pinkeye then?
Cartman, you do have pinkeye.
Ahh, son of a bitch!
---本片含有不雅用语,儿童不宜观看---
<南方公园>第一季第一集 --Cartman的肛门探针--
该死!我弟弟又要跟我去上学了.
Ike, 你不能跟我一起去学校.
-回家去,你这"小鸡鸡" -喂,不要叫我弟弟"小鸡鸡"
-什么是"小鸡鸡" -我不知道
-Cartman也不知道 -我当然知道！
-那么,是什么? -我才不告诉你.
什么是小鸡鸡,kenny?
对，就是Kyle的弟弟没错。
-打得好. -看看这个.
-准备好了，Ike?踢BB咯. -不要踢BB.
踢BB.
Cartman,看来你昨晚没睡好啊.
-因为昨晚我做了个很假的恶梦. -真的?是什么梦?
嗯,我梦见我睡在床上,四周一片漆黑...
突然间,卧室充满了耀眼的蓝光..
我的房门被慢慢地打开了,最后记得的是...
我被拖出走廊.
后来我躺在桌子上,那些可怕的外星人想要给我动手术
它们有着大大的头和黑色的大眼睛.
-老兄,外星生物啊！ -什么?
-那不是个梦,他们是外星人. -才不,那只是个梦,我妈妈说的.
-外星人是真的. -他们绑架人还杀死奶牛。
闭嘴,你想吓唬我,没用的.
-大家好啊,孩子们. -你好,大厨.
-今天午餐吃什么? -今天有牛肉饼加牛油面条.
-青豆焙盘炖菜或者什锦蔬菜 -好极了.
你们昨晚有没有看到外星飞船啊?
有啊,肥仔看到了.
那只是个梦,而且我不肥,只是身板大.
是不是有着大头和黑眼睛的那种?
-它们抓他到飞船了. -那它们有没有给他安装肛门探针?
什么探针?
那是装入肛门的金属环形天线
-它们给你装了么? -才没!再说,它们做这个干吗?
装了吧,嗯?外星人塞了东西进你屁股!
-肛门探针 -闭嘴,小鸡鸡!
我要回餐厅了,你们看着那肥仔.
可能他已经被外星人控制了
它们是真的,你的屁股惨了.
该死,它们没有搞我屁股,那只是个梦.
-你走路怎么那么滑稽？ -闭嘴!
不行,Ike,回家去.
好了,来真的了，踢BB！
-早上好,Crabtree太太 -坐下,我们要迟到了!
-他还在那里. -别担心.
如果他出事,我爸妈会怪我的.
快点坐下!
-随便啦,你这肥婆. -你说什么?
我是说,我好痒痒.
天哪!
-外星人啊! -不会吧!
Ike!停车!
你得停车!
-你想我告状到办公室吗? -不.
-那就坐下! -可我...
-Cartman,这些是不是你看过的外星人？ -闭嘴,别来这套.
-我们得做些什么. -我们什么都做不了，
-那肥婆不让. -你说什么?!
-我说兔子吃莴苣. -哦,那是,它们当然吃莴苣.
怎么办啊?我弟弟被外星人绑架了.
你放屁了.
有人在烤巧克力饼.
这是这个月的第三头牛了.
这样下去,冬天没完我的牛就死光光了.
这不奇怪,牛常常把肚子里面的东西翻出来.
一直有人说在附近见过飞碟.
飞碟?
还见过CIA的直升机和监视车.
简直是胡说八道！
-那是什么? -只是鸽子罢了.
我怎么办啊?
眼睁睁地看着我的牛一头头被害吗?
我的牛啊!
看到了吗?真是怪事.
有什么奇怪的,我马上把它们赶回来.
孩子们,现在帽子先生要给我们讲哥伦布的故事
没错,Garrison老师
哥伦布发现了美洲,做了印第安人的好朋友
还帮助他们战胜了道格拉斯
从拿破仑手里挽救了希伯来书,还发现了法国.
我必须救我的傻弟弟。如果没带他回家,老爸会大叫:
"你弟弟呢?你没看好他."
-我们逃学去找他吧. -"他照顾不了自己"
"刷子和丝线,看你的手指都放哪里了?"
-老兄! -有什么问题吗?
-是的,我现在要走. -真的?Kyle?
-怎么回事?前列腺炎发作么? -我弟弟被外星人绑架了.
真的,不信问Cartman.外星人给他装了肛门探针.
-别开玩笑了. -Garrison老师,说真的,我一定要走.
-我能不能请假? -我不知道,你问过帽子先生了吗?
我不想问帽子先生,我在问你!
-我想你得问帽子先生. -帽子先生,我可以请假吗?
嗯,Kyle,不行!听见没有?想都别想!
别做梦了! 看来你得坐回你的位子了,Kyle.
-妈的! -哈哈,帽子先生骂你了.
-我的屁股! -靠,Cartman!
-我的屁股! -老兄,他放出火来了.
那个探针在他体内喷火了!
才不是,那只是个梦.
要不要呆在一边,等到你能控制放屁?
不用,Garrison老师,我没事.
你们牛不能上来,这是载人火车.
你们和载人火车搭不上边,知道吗?你们是牛.
别对我用那样的母牛催眠术,好吗?
-因为这样也没用的. -站住,你们这些牛.
快点回来!
-我快饿死了. -你放火屁的时候怎么吃啊?
闭嘴,你太不成熟了.
-看,是Wendy Testaburger. -哪里?
-Stan想要亲Wendy Testaburger. -闭嘴,肥仔,我不喜欢她.
-我不肥..每次你和她说话的时候都呕吐,所以你才喜欢她.
-我才没有. -喂,大家好.
-好, Wendy.
对了,Stan,这个是给你的.
再见,Wendy.
伙计,纸条上说什么来着?
大件事!她约我放课后在湖边见面.
-哇!你可以亲她了. -可能是舌吻呢.
什么?你怎么知道她养猫?
我们得想办法翘课去把我弟弟救回来.
孩子们,今天好吗?
-不好. -什么事啊?
你有没有试过遇上过怪事,但没人相信你?
孩子们,这是个我们经常要面对的问题.
过来,我给你们唱首歌,也许能说明一下.
大厨!
-感觉好些了吧? -没有.
算了吧,有什么大不了的?今天好好吃顿牛肉饼.
-外星人抓了Kyle的弟弟. -你说什么?!
你还在这里干什么啊?
-去找他啊! -Garrison老师不让我们走.
-他以为是我们瞎编出来的. -你们是在瞎编.
-什么? -好东西啊!
这是某种寄生变形装置
可能外星人想和我们沟通.
我知道,你要和他们一起来耍我.
开什么玩笑,孩子们,事情大了.
如果我不去找IKE回来...
我父母会不认我.
等等,你得帮帮孩子们.
你们一直都在想法子吓我.
我要牛肉饼.
消防训练！消防训练！大家快出去！好了孩子,这是你们的机会.
聪明.谢谢,大厨.
第一次和外星人接触,我得准备一下.
放假啦,自由啦.
放假啦...
-伙计,我的屁股,说真的! -好了,你可以停止放火屁了.
-你以为我想放吗,贱人! -怎么救回我弟弟?
不要老是提你弟弟行么?
我知道那只是个梦！我知道我没有肛门探针！
我知道没受外星人控制!
-怎么回事? -他被外星人控制了.
-他的屁股跟外星人联系. -你这败类!
闭嘴!我没有受外星人控制.
如果你们这些外星人听得见,把我弟弟带回来,该死的!
痛死了,你这个大嗓门!
-Kyle,看,是它们. -把我弟弟还给我！
-天哪,它们杀了Kenny! -你们这些混蛋!
回来,回来,该死,差点就成功了.
看,我想Kenny没事.
哦,可怜的Kenny.
-现在你相信我们了吧? -不.
-Cartman,它们杀了Kenny. -他没有死.
伙计,Kenny死了.看到没有?
-闭嘴. -他死了,Cartman.
该死,我没有肛门探针!懒得理你们,我走人了.
-滚回家去吧,你这肥鸡！ -小鸡鸡！
-现在我只有你了. -抱歉,我得去见Wendy.
不行啊,可怜的Ike一个人在上面一定很害怕,帮帮我.
就像大厨说的,"收获诱人时我亦有些爱意"
老鼠!
-好吗,Eric. -嗯,妈妈.
-今天怎么样啊? -哦,气死人了.
过来,我给你做了些甜甜圈，惊喜哦.
我不要甜甜圈,所有学校的小孩都说我胖.
-你不胖,只是身板大. -我也是这样说的.
-那么你要不要些糕点啊? -不要!
-只是些小小的糕点. -不要!别管我.
那巧克力鸡肉馅饼怎么样?
嗯,听起来不错.
-妈? -干嘛,孩子?
如果有人找上门,就说我不在,好吗?
-好的,你要不要些奶酪饼干呢? -嗯,我要.
-看来她不会来了,我们找外星人去.
-但是她在纸条上说她会来. -嗨,Stan.
-你不能和他说话,否则他就会吐. -为什么呢.Stan?
你们能不能等等再胡混,一起去找Ike?
-在篝火旁做爱. -你弟弟怎么啦?
鉴于飞碟迹象事件增加...
..以及地里神秘的麦田怪圈
在高空看下去,这些麦田圈组成了奇怪的图案
嗨,看起来有点像...Tom Selleck.
是不是外星人正试图和我们地球人联系呢?
不行,猫咪,这是我的馅饼。
不行,猫咪,你这个坏猫咪. 不行,猫咪,这是我的馅饼.
妈!猫咪烦死了！
那么猫咪甜心今晚要和妈妈一起睡咯.
什么?!
我只好一个人回家,让我父母杀了我.
-为何你不去找肥仔啊? -找他干嘛?
如果有东西植入在肥仔屁股里...
...那么他可能是外星人计划的一部分.
你应该利用肥仔引诱它们回来.
没错,Wendy, Stan,我们得去找Cartman.
来吧,Stan.
喂,等等,我们什么时候才做爱啊?
不行,猫咪,一点也不给你!
不行,这是我的锅饼. 坏猫咪.
我不是有意的,猫咪.
-Eric,看看谁来了. -你做的好事,妈!
-我们去车站玩吧. -我不能去,妈妈说...
-没关系,我想你要多和小朋友玩.
-但是我不想和他们.... -别那么难相处!
-好了,你去外面玩玩雪吧. -该死的!
-我要回家. -不要像个胆小鬼.
有这条绳子它们带不走你的.
-逊! -它们怎么还没来啊?
看来我们得给它们信号.
喂,他很像鲁道夫呢.
你要做的只是放屁,外星人一定会来的.
真的么?我想今晚没屁放了.
-你要放. -拜托,放吧.
-我不想！ -他不能憋一辈子吧.
-快放,该死的. -好了我受够了！
为什么今天发生的一切事情...
都和进出我屁股的东西有关?
我厌倦了!这绝对是不成熟的行为!
又来了.
-哇,看. -现在你相信啦?
吓不了我,这些都是你们搞出来的.
有个80英尺的环状卫星天线正从你屁股伸出来！
当然,伙计,随便啦.
哇,第一次和外星人接触.
喂!下来!我们准备好迎接你们的智慧了.
还差20分钟Sanford and Son就要开播啦.
伙计,我真的要发火了.
我知道没有什么外星人!
啊,该死的!
这个是...?我告诉你,这镇上正在发生些古怪的事情.
你说得没错,Garrison先生.
下来,你这混蛋外星人！
继续,问它们要回你的弟弟吧.
外星人,今早你带走了我的弟弟, 他是长得像个足球的雀斑仔.
刚弄丢他的时候我还蛮开心的,可现在才知道：
有个弟弟是那么的好.
我只是个在混乱世界里的孤独小孩.
如果你们还有些良知肯放我弟弟回来...
...会令我的生命重新闪亮起来.
你说得比唱得还要好听呢.
有用吗? 没用.
你们这些败类!究竟怎么搞的?
简直是没有同情心的无良匪类!
你知道你们像些什么吗?就像@##$#$%^&!
喂,Wendy!什么是@##$#$%^&!
Ike,跳下来,快!看在主的份上,跳!
不要打我哦.
你好,地球的牛牛,我们没有恶意的.
真的?
跳吧,Ike,我保证以后会好好对你.
不要踢BB哦.
我们在地球所有生物身上做试验.
而得知你们牛牛是最聪明和有智慧的动物.
它们说什么啊?
你们为何把我们的内脏都弄出来呢?
哦,那是CARL的错误, 他是个新手.
是的,真抱歉, 我的错!
Ike
这个设备是送给你们的礼物.
Ike,快，用职业水准跳一个！
我要跳啦.
再见啦,牛牛, 祝你们一路平安.
伙计,快把我弄下来!
救命!败类!
你们这些人渣!
-好在都结束了. -找回到你太高兴了,Ike!
她在天上飞呢.
等等!你们去哪里啊,外星人.回来.
大厨, 你有什么惊人的东西要给我们看啊?
嗯,在卧室里, 进来吧,女士们.
走吧,Ike,我们可以准时回去吃晚饭咯.
-谢谢帮忙. -没关系.
-嗨,我没吐哪. -太好了.
不好意思.
-嗨,看,一块薯条. -真的.
-那是什么? -我想是奶酪饼干
-嗨,那是什么? -汉堡包碎.
-是两天前吃的. -那个呢?
鬼才知道那是什么.
校车快来了,Cartman还没到.
我们越来越少朋友了
外星人是不是送了什么东西给那些牛.
哈哈,牛牛. 终于给我逮住了,看你们哪里跑.
嗨,Cartman.
外星人刚好在上学的时候放你下来哦.
-昨晚我做了个疯狂的恶梦. -真的?是什么梦?
嗯,当时我站在原野上.
有个巨型环形天线伸出我的屁股...
...还有牛群和外星人
后来我给抓上了飞船, Scott Baio把红眼病传给了我.
那不是梦,的确是发生过.
-是吗,那我怎么没有红眼呢? -Cartman,你是有红眼!
唉!该死的!
翻译制作:[晚节不宝]+[南檀君]:-))