Lucy!
You're totally into Brett.
[chuckles] I did think about him all summer and��
we would look good together and
we are in eighth grade now.
[girl 1] Yeah, girl!
[girl 2] Lucy!
[Lucy] Bestie! Hi, Mrs. Duncan!
[Mrs. Duncan] Hi, Lucy!
Lucy, it was the worst summer ever. She put me in summer school.
Everyone's at camp having fun,
and I'm doing Bible study and Latin and violin and science
while she picks out all my clothes and watches over everything I do.
-[Lucy] Horrible! -[boy] KC!
-Hey, there's Brett. -[boy] Carlos, what's up?
I know! Listen, Kendra. I've been dying to tell you about how Brett��
Hi, everybody!
Hey, Kendra.
[Kendra] Hey.
Hey.
-Hey. -Hey.
Hey.
[kids chuckle]
I've really missed you, Kendra.
[all] Aw!
This might have been
the longest summer ever.
[all] Aw!
Nope! Same amount of months.
-But I saved every one of our texts. -[girls] Aw!
Hold up. You two have been texting?
-Yeah, we have. -Yeah, we have.
I thought your mom took away your phone. You hardly texted me, like,
at all.
Well, yeah, but whenever I could sneak it, Brett and I would text.
Kendra, yeah, can we chat a sec?
Brett, I was thinking about lots of things when we were apart this summer.
Yeah? Things like?
? This summer I was losing my mind ?
? Trying to keep myself busy ?
-? 'Stead of thinking 'bout you ? -? Thinking about you ?
? No matter how I acted I could never really get distracted ?
? And the mystery in my mind That I can't dismiss ?
? Is when I'm ever gonna Get my first real kiss ?
? I spend every night and day Just thinking about how I could get away ?
? But I'm stuck in jail I can't get free ?
? 'Cause there's my mother Always watching me ?
? I tried to do the stuff I love to do ?
? But every song, every game It's all the same ?
? It just made me, made me Ma-made me wanna be with you! ?
-? I've been waiting ? -? I've been waiting ?
? I've been waiting all summer for you! ?
-? I've been waiting ? -? I've been waiting ?
? And I think that I'm ready now ?
? Same story, I was losing my mind ?
? On the shores of Lake Wawasee 'Stead of being with you ?
? Being with you ?
? Sometimes when I couldn't write I was beaming thoughts ?
? From my brain at night ?
? From the mess hall, the canteen ?
? From the lake, from the lodge The latrine that I had to clean ?
? Thinking, "All I really wanna do Is to have my first real kiss with you" ?
? "Where it's dark and quiet And romantic" ?
? "Without your mom standing there Getting frantic" ?
? And now I'm here beside you Like a dream come true ?
? Every minute, every day I was kept away ?
? Only made me, made me Ma-made me wanna be with you! ?
-? I've been waiting ? -? I've been waiting ?
? I've been waiting all summer for you ?
-? I've been waiting ? -? I've been waiting ?
? And I think that I'm ready now ?
Who are those guys? Introduce me.
Those aren't my friends. Let's just go, okay.
-Hi, man. Nice kicks. -Huh. Thanks.
Oh, you're the new kid, right?
Yeah, I'm Evan Goldman. I'm from New York.
-What's up? Brett Sampson. -Good to meet you.
I'm Kendra Duncan. Hi.
Wait, you're Kendra? The Kendra?
You know what just happened when Evan said the name "Kendra"?
[everyone] What?!
? It made me, made me Ma-made me wanna be with ?
[school bell rings]
? You! ?
-? I've been waiting ? -? I've been waiting ?
? I've been waiting all summer for you! ?
-? I've been waiting ? -? I've been waiting ?
? I've been waiting all summer for you! ?
? I've been waiting ?
? I've been waiting all summer for you! ?
-? I've been waiting for you ? -? I've been waiting ?
-? I've been waiting all summer�� ?
Wait for me!
-? ��you! ? -Guys, wait up. Wait. Hi!
[bell rings]
-? I've been waiting ? -? I've been waiting ?
? Waiting all summer for you ?
-[Evan] Where's the main office? -Oh, come with us.
Oh. Yeah. Cool.
You're not upset, are you?
No, I just think
texting all summer with someone you wanna have your first kiss with
is something you tell your best friend, if, you know,
she really is your best friend.
Don't even say that, Lucy.
Of course I'm happy for you.
And it will all work out.
I mean, assuming no one else likes him. [scoffs]
-Right. -Out.
Kendra, check it out. Evan just invited us to his big party.
-It's my Bar Mitzvah. This fall. -What's a Bar Mitzvah, exactly?
It's this Jewish thing where they make you talk backwards
and everyone gets circumcised.
What?
Uh!
N-- No!
It's a party. With dancing. And a DJ.
It'll be awesome.
-[Lucy] Oh. -[kids laugh]
Actually, my friend, Patrice, helped me plan it.
[Lucy, scornfully] Patrice? That Patrice?
Sign the petition for compostable cutlery.
Do what's right. Not easy.
-[boy] That was easy. -[laughter breaks out]
[smugly] Yeah, maybe not.
Ooh.
[Evan] She's good people. She, you know, just does her own thing. Patrice.
No, she thinks she's better than everyone.
Whatever, Lucy. Evan, can we talk?
-[scoffs] -[Evan] One second, guys.
What is going on, Patrice?
-That's who you wanna hang out with? -I dunno. They seem cool.
Is that what you want? To be "cool"?
-I want them to come to my party. -Why?
Because it's my Bar Mitzvah.
I need a great party. What's your problem with them?
Any group that has room for Lucy Hallman is not a group that I need to be part of.
-[mouthing] -[Evan] How about this?
They come to my Bar Mitzvah, and you and me have our own party.
Just us.
Boom. Everyone's happy.
You did not just say that.
Whatever's going on between you all, I can help fix it.
Whatever. I don't even care.
-Patrice, I�� -[footsteps receding]
Archie, what just happened?
Middle school.
-Juice box? -[Patrice] Thanks, Zee.
Sometimes it helps just to puncture something.
You don't have to help me.
[Jessica] I wanna be useful.
[Jessica sighs]
Jessica!
There are seven trillion nerves in the human body,
and you are getting on every one of mine.
Find something to do.
I know. You could finally write your novel.
What would I write about?
That my son resents me for blowing up his life?
Or that after putting my own life on hold so my husband could build up his law firm,
he betrays me, so our marriage implodes?
Or the kicker, I'm sleeping in the room where my mom keeps her orthopedic shoes
because just when I've stopped asking, "How can things get any worse,"
I find myself starting completely over.
-That's what I should write about? -I'll clear off your father's old desk.
Thank you.
-[whistle sounds] -[Brett] Set!
-Okay, Kendra, spill the tea! -[Kendra] Okay.
Brett wants to kiss me, and I wanna kiss him back.
[all shout excitedly]
Fun, right?
Just remember, you only get one shot. Do it wrong,
someone loses a tongue.
-Are you sure you're ready? -Wait, Lucy, what's that scent?
[sniffs]
Is that jealousy?
First of all, blend your contour before you come at me like that, Charlotte.
-[girls laugh] -And second, we know how it works.
Problem is, her mom will never let her be alone with him.
We'll find a spot my mom won't know about. I always do what she tells me.
I wanna decide something for myself. Be my own person, for once.
-Mmm? -And that person wants to kiss Brett!
[girls giggle]
[laughs insincerely]
Great. Call the motions.
Right.
Here. We. Go.
-O-P-P! -O-P-P!
-O-R-T! -O-R-T!
-Unity! -Unity!
? Brett wants Kendra To be his girlfriend ?
? But Brett is the boy That I wanna be with ?
? I'm tired of being Second best to my best friend ?
? So she's smart, and she's pretty And she's nice, oh hey! ?
? I'm smart, and I'm pretty And I'm�� anyway ?
? I'm a better choice to be with Brett And I can prove it if I get ?
?An O-P-P, opportunity! O-P-P, opportunity! ?
? O-P-P, opportunity! ?
-? O-P-P ? -? Opportunity ?
? Whoa-oh! Whoa-oh! Whoa-oh! Whoa-oh! ?
? I'd show Brett what his girl oughta be If I only had an itty-bitty opportunity ?
? M-m-m, yeah ?
? Oooh! ?
? Oooh, whoa-oh, whoa-oh, whoa-oh! ?
? Opportunity! ?
? Picture me Being Brett's new girlfriend ?
? Brett's got a brand-new girlfriend! ?
? Picture Kendra so happy for me ?
? Oooh, sad! ?
? Picture Brett Hanging out in my rec room ?
? Let's play another game of foosball ?
? I mean, we're basically the same Check us out, can't you tell? ?
? So I don't get football But I fake it really well ?
? I could show him I'm a better girl If someone just would get a girl ?
? An O-P-P, opportunity ?
-? O-P-P, opportunity ? -? Hey-oh! ?
? O-P-P, opportunity O-P-P, opportunity ?
? Whoa-oh! Whoa-oh! Whoa-oh! Whoa-oh! ?
? How will he know That he really wants me ?
? If he never even gets A little opportunity? ?
? Ho-ha! ?
? Here we go, here we go Here we go, huh! ?
[rapping] ? Lucy's gonna get what Lucy deserves ?
? I've got the vision, the precision And the nerves, and I'm merciless ?
? I cast a curse, you can't reverse this ?
? I'm gonna be The first to get the first kiss ?
-? Check that! ? -? Ho! ?
? In the lunch room or the locker room I can rock a room like a shock, boom ?
? Your time is running out Tick-tick-tock, boom! ?
? Ever since we were three It's been Kendra and me ?
? But it's time now to break free Hashtag never underestimate me ?
-? Up high for L-U-C-Y! ? -? Ho! ?
[boy chants badly in Hebrew] "Koh amair��"
[man] "Koh amar," Evan.
[Evan continues chanting]
-Sorry. One second, sorry. -[chanting stops]
Hello. Yeah.
Yeah, hold on. It's God. He wants his language back.
I'm sorry, Rabbi. I can't focus.
I feel like my whole life is a dumpster fire, and I'm only 12.
I don't even have a whole life yet.
I get it. No, it's rough. It's rough when your folks get divorced.
My mom went around the apartment cutting my dad's head out of all the photos.
-No! -With her teeth.
[chuckles] Hey, we'll get through it all.
We'll study remotely. Bring your books to Indiana. It'll be fine.
A Bar Mitzvah is the event that defines you.
-The Jewish Super Bowl. -[chuckles]
What kind of killer party can I have in Indiana?
-[door opens] -I don't even know anyone there.
[breathless] Hi, Rabbi Shapiro.
Jessica.
-Evan tells me you're doing well. -[Jessica] Oh yeah.
The weather's great at rock bottom.
-Kidding. -She's not kidding.
[quietly] I'm not kidding.
-Hey. We'll chat when you get there, okay? -Mm-hm.
High five.
It's gonna be a long drive,
but Grandma is so excited that we're coming.
She's FaceTiming every five minutes.
At least I think it's her. All I see is neck.
That's me, Evan Goldman.
And I live at 224 West 92nd Street in the heart of New York City.
I'm about to turn 13 and have my Bar Mitzvah.
It was gonna be the biggest party. My whole class was coming.
Everything was going so well.
We had a happy family.
Until my dad met someone else, and my parents broke up.
? Picture me Just another cool kid ?
? In NYC Near the park and the Met ?
? Got my crew Everything was great ?
? And I never knew Just how bad it would get ?
? Who'd have guessed Dad would ruin everything? ?
? Mom's depressed And her lawyers are mean ?
? Now I'm stressed Life is a disaster ?
? And I'm cracking from the strain Going totally insane ?
? And I'm just about to turn Just about to turn, just about to turn ?
-? What's it gonna be? ? -? What? ?
-? When am I gonna see some�� ? -? O-P-P-O-R-T unity! ?
? Whoa-oh! Whoa-oh! Whoa-oh! Whoa-oh! ?
? What kind of best friend would I be ?
? If I didn't take advantage Of an opportunity? ?
The guys are meeting me out front.
Evan, I thought we agreed we'd have family breakfast?
Look, I even cooked.
-You cooked? -Yeah!
Last time you cooked something from scratch, you summoned a demon.
It was raw and burnt in the same bite.
Just�� try it.
Sit.
Uh-huh.
So? It's pretty good, right?
-See? It's pretty good. -Good job, Mom.
Pretty good. It's a really decent omelet.
They're pancakes.
Okay.
What's going on with your party planning? You haven't told me anything.
-Oh, I'm working on it. -Is Patrice still helping you?
She didn't come around yesterday like she usually does.
See, the thing is, I have a lot of friends now,
and, you know, it's just fine.
[cellphone buzzing]
-Joel? -Hey, is Evan around?
Uh��
-Yeah, he's right here. -My friend's here. I gotta go.
-[Jessica] Evan, talk to your father. -[Evan] Bye.
[door shuts]
Sorry, Joel, he ran off.
I've been trying to reach him, but he won't answer my calls.
Well, give him time. He's adjusting.
Has he said anything
about wanting me to come for the Bar Mitzvah?
I will ask him again.
Is he gonna be okay?
Now? [scoffs]
Now you're wondering if he's gonna be okay?
I'll keep trying him.
[cellphone beeps]
[Evan] Come on, Eddie. Throw it to me.
Come on!
Let's go! Whoa!
[boys laughing]
[Archie] Hey, Patrice!
Patrice!
[unenthusiastically] What is it, Archie?
-How come you haven't answered my texts? -Because I don't understand them.
? Thirteen! ?
? Everything switches ?
-? Thirteen! ? -? Everything turns around ?
-? Thirteen! ? -? End up in stitches ?
-? Thirteen! ? -? Hide away underground ?
? Thirteen! ?
? Can I get through it? ?
? Thirteen! ? -? Life'll change overnight ?
? Thirteen! ? -? How do I do it? ?
? Thirteen! ? -? Nothing is going right ?
? The best and the worst And the most and the least ?
? And the crazy and the scary And I'm standing on the edge! ?
[man] Hey, Evan.
Here's your stuff from the house.
You okay, kiddo?
I want to stay here. In my school. With my friends.
Like, are we even still a family?
Of course we are.
And we are working it all out.
It is going to be great.
Great.
Know what would've been great?
If you didn't blow everything up and ruin my life!
Evan!
? Twelve years old Everything that used to be ?
? Good as gold Starts to crumble and crack ?
? Pressure mounts Once it was a joke ?
? Now it really counts And there's no turning back ?
-? Life goes wrong ? -? Suddenly they're yelling ?
? That your hair's too long Or your room isn't clean ?
-? Roll along ? -? Every conversation ?
? Is another lost cause ?
? Or a list of my flaws And I'm just about to turn ?
? Just about to turn God, I'm gonna turn 13! ?
-? What am I doing? ? -? Thirteen! ?
-? Who am I gonna be? ? -? Thirteen! ?
-? Somebody listen ? -? Thirteen! ?
? Somebody talk to me ?
? Why is my life a complete disaster? How did things get so far off track? ?
? How can I not go to Indiana? How do I get my family back? ?
? I wanna fly, wanna run, wanna drive Wanna get rich, wanna get mad ?
? Wanna get out, wanna get my braces off Wanna get my nose pierced ?
? Wanna grow my hair long But all I keep hearing is ?
? No, you're not ready! No, it's not time yet! ?
? No, it's not right now! Wait until you're older! ?
? No, you're not ready! No, it's not time yet! ?
What's "H-C-Y-H-A-M-T"?
How Come You Haven't Answered My Texts.
Duh.
What is it, Archie?
You don't have to be mad at me 'cause you're mad at Evan.
I'm not mad at him. All he cares about is that everyone comes to his party.
Come on, he's just trying to fit in.
Why are you defending him?
Well, don't get mad at me. I'm upset too.
If Kendra and Brett kiss, where does that leave me?
I thought he was my friend, Archie.
[sighs]
Oh man, Brett, you're good at, like, everything you do.
[Brett] Thanks.
You know, I also play the guitar, and��
Okay, you think I could play something at your party?
-I also write my own songs. A little. -For real?
Yeah, for anyone. I'm kinda good.
I wrote one song called "Kendra," right?
Oh, there's also, "Hey, Kendra."
There's "Hey, Is Kendra Home?"
I wrote that one while walking to her front door.
Yes, you can play at my party.
Thank you.
[cellphone buzzes]
[buzzing stops]
Sorry about your parents breaking up.
Mine did too, a few years ago.
I hated it.
I guess the hardest part for me was having to leave home.
I couldn't imagine leaving here. It's where my stuff is.
But also, there's��
? Kendra over there ?
Man, I wanna kiss her.
If you both wanna kiss so much, just kiss.
It has to be somewhere special. Something she'll always remember.
You know?
Come on. We finna get some snacks.
Checkmate.
That's defense. Pay up, you fools.
Into the donation bag.
[Evan] What's up, Eddie?
Yo, The Bloodmaster is closing this weekend.
-I wish our folks would let us go. -Never gonna happen.
[Eddie] We'll never see that movie.
Wait. That's it. I know the perfect place for Brett and Kendra to kiss.
For real? Yo, listen to this.
? Okay, listen up ?
? The solution to your problem Is The Bloodmaster ?
-What? -Really?
? You say, "No, a horror movie Isn't where you have your first kiss" ?
The Bloodmaster?
? Hear me out, there's a few Little things I wanna mention ?
? First, it's dark, and it's scary So you'll wanna hug tight ?
? There are folks all around But they're not paying attention ?
? 'Cause some wacko with an axe Is hacking everyone in sight ?
? So when you're in the market ?
? For a thing that makes your heart Pump the blood faster ?
? I suggest The Bloodmaster ?
? Like, what if you threw a party ?
? And nobody came? ?
? It would be funny if it didn't suck ?
? And it's gonna suck ?
? But here's what I'm trying to say ?
? It's not over until it's over ?
? And only we can fix it now ?
? It's not over until it's over ?
? And only you can fix it ?
? Now ?
[Evan chanting Hebrew prayer]
[doorbell rings]
Patrice!
[cellphone buzzes]
Hey, Dad.
Hey, kiddo.
Um,
Mom says you're having a rough time.
You wanna talk?
I think I've done some stuff that has really hurt other people.
Ev,
sometimes we make choices that��
that inadvertently hurt the people we love the most.
And sometimes those mistakes aren't easy to fix,
but that doesn't mean we shouldn't try.
Does that ever work?
You answered the phone this time so, um,
if you're lucky, it does.
[Patrice] I know, but you saw what happened.
I have to go.
Okay, kiddo.
And Ev��
I'm sorry
that I hurt you and your mother.
Thank you.
I miss you.
Me too.
Okay, I'm running to my locker.
[Brett sighs]
[groans]
[Brett] Why?
Brett, as your best friends, we need to tell you, keep it together.
I'm trying!
She's got some kind of, like, hypnotic hold on you,
and we have no idea what it is.
Well, some of us know what it is,
but you gotta be strong, Brett.
For us.
I miss Kendra.
I can't sleep.
I can't eat.
I don't know what to do.
[Evan] Maybe I can help.
You? You're the reason this all happened.
Look, I know I screwed things up, but I wanna make it right.
Hear me out.
Fine.
You have ten seconds, starting nine seconds ago.
[faltering] You have to go talk to Kendra. You two are supposed to be together.
If what you want is to be with Kendra, then go tell her.
I wouldn't know what to say.
? Tell her You thought about what happened ?
? Friday night! ?
Friday night? This is awesome. What do you think, Kendra?
Um��
? Hold up, hold up Let me tell you where it's at ?
? Kendra's mom'll never let her See a movie like that ?
? And if she doesn't go Then I guess they can't do it ?
-I guess she'skinda right. -I'm always right.
? Nothing to it, here's the deal Kendra never tells her mom ?
? That she's going to The Bloodmaster ?
What do I say?
? 'Cause for real, she'll be heading Home with Lucy after school that day ?
-My house? Sleepover! Yay!
? At 6:45, Kendra Zooms with her mother ?
? And she asks if it's okay To hang with Lucy all night ?
? And at 7:05, Cassie's mom picks you up 'Cause everyone says Cassie's mom's cool ?
? That's right! ?
? And at 7:22, like a blizzard That's predicted by a forecaster ?
? Shoop shoop ?
? You drop into The Bloodmaster Friday ni-- ?
? Hold up, hold up I don't know what you mean ?
? 'Cause they won't let us in Until we're 17 ?
? So hold the applause And can the confetti ?
? I'm on it already! There's another movie playing ?
? At the theater Where we're gonna see The Bloodmaster ?
? The Bloodmaster! ?
? So we just buy tickets To the little kiddie movie instead ?
? Shoop shoop Shoop shoop ?
? Good luck, there's a manager Who doesn't miss a trick ?
? It's not a problem If we all get the moves just right ?
? I'll create a distraction With the guy who's taking tickets ?
? And we duck into the theater While you block us from sight ?
? Then we're in! ?
? Kendra gets to be the queen Brett gets to be the stud master! ?
? We're going to The Bloodmaster! ?
-? Friday night! ? -? We're going to The Bloodmaster! ?
? We're going to The Bloodmaster! ?
? This Friday night! ?
Great job. It's gonna be so much fun.
-[boy] Sweet, Evan. -Walk with me.
So, Evan Goldman, you figured it out! You're the hero.
Not really. I mean, a little maybe, but��
And it seems important that we all come to this party of yours because,
well, if there's a party and I tell people not to come��
there isn't a party.
Why do I feel there's more to this chat than the one we're currently having?
Here's the problem. You need people at your party.
I need to make sure Brett and Kendra don't kiss at this movie on Friday,
which was your idea.
Why don't you want Brett and Kendra to k--
Oh.
You see my dilemma.
Of course,
Kendra's my best friend, and I could never hurt her, so��
You help me, I help you. It's quid pro quo!
How am I supposed to stop them from getting together if they like each other?
You're the guy with all the answers. You'll figure it out.
Aw, I'm so glad we're friends. Aren't you?
Bye!
[Brett] Set!
-[whistle blows] -[Brett] Set!
[Kendra] All right, everyone, let's try this again. Ready, Lucy?
Five, six, seven��
-Hey, Archie. How you doing? -Pretty good.
I guess Patrice is still pretty mad at me, huh?
Well, you chose those guys over her. My guess is she hates you.
[Kendra] Oh, let me grab my bag.
Oh! Cute shirt, Archie.
[stutters]
[struggling to form words]
Did you see that?
Way to play it cool, Arch.
If I could have ten minutes sitting next to her,
I would know that I had not lived my life in vain.
-Does she know you like her? -Oh.
I think she misinterpreted my flirting for food poisoning.
Of course, in her defense, I did throw up after.
What if I told you I had a way for you to sit next to Kendra for two hours?
Next to her in the same building?
Next to her in the next seat at the movies on Friday.
Don't toy with me.
Here's the thing. Lucy is holding my party hostage
unless I stop Brett and Kendra from kissing.
Okay, I'm listening.
All right, it's pretty complicated, but hear me out.
What if you sit on the other side of Kendra--
-I'm in! -There's more.
Okay, keep going.
Then, at the perfect moment, you faint on Kendra's shoulder,
drawing her attention and blocking Brett from kissing her.
Oh! And I get to kiss Kendra instead.
What? No. The plan is,
you make a scene and block the kiss, and no one will get mad at you because--
Because I'm charming.
Yeah, that.
Lucy gets what she wants, and everyone comes to my party.
And I get to kiss Kendra.
You keep saying that as though it's part of the plan.
It's not.
You saved all my old journals?
I thought I told you to throw out all my old stuff?
When did you say that?
When I left home and said, "Throw out all my old stuff."
-Oh! Jess. -Mom.
Jess. [sighs]
-You know what I miss? -Subtlety?[sighs]
Teaching.
It gave me purpose.
You were really good at it.
You went to college, worked harder than anyone, and earned your BFA.
You were a writer. That was your purpose.
And if it took a divorce to light a fire under your tuchus,
maybe that's a good thing.
-I'm just saying, again. -[Jessica sighs].
I'm gonna get some stuff then I'm gonna hang out with Archie.
No, wait-- Oh no-- We're supposed to have dinner together.
And you have a Hebrew lesson.
-I'll reschedule it for tomorrow. -No-- Evan. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Come back.
You have blown us off every night. You won't answer your father's calls.
You haven't talked to me about your Bar Mitzvah.
And now, skipping lessons?
-What is going on? -Nothing.
You wanted to move here and for me to make new friends,
so here I am, making new friends.
-At least I'm trying. -Look, this is about you.
You will do your lesson with the rabbi, and then you will see your friends.
[cellphone beeps]
[Jessica sighs]
-[door slams] -[Jessica huffs]
You're his mother.
He's watching what you do.
-That's all I've got to say. -[quietly] Yeah.
I doubt that.
Archie! Archie!
-I can't talk right now. -[Patrice] Do you wanna come for dinner?
I've got a whole list of movies where Americans do bad English accents.
All right, fine, you broke me. We're all going to The Bloodmaster.
Evan made a plan where I block Brett from kissing Kendra
so Lucy will bring everyone to his party.
Wait, Evan is using you just to save his party?
Yeah, and I'm good with that.
-This is wrong, Archie. -[Archie] Stay out of it, Patrice.
I like what you're doing, but think about--
And this could just be fun--
Just�� not getting the beit and the kaf confused.
Except, they're confusing.
[sarcastically] Hmm. You find a 6,000-year-old language confusing.
Now I see the problem.
You thought this would be easy. That just-- That's just bad intel.
[cellphone beeps]
I'm sorry, there's something important I need to do.
More important than your Bar Mitzvah?
One moment.
God, [laughs] you're gonna love this. No, it's Goldman again.
Really, Rabbi, trust me. This can't wait.
You want me to go full rabbi on you? I'm gonna go-- I'm gonna do it.
I'm gonna go full rabbi. Kippah coming on. Boom.
[whispers] Respect. Respect the yarmulke.
Look, I'm not here to tell you what you should or shouldn't do, okay?
You gotta find your own way. I just��
I've just walked a few more steps than you,
and maybe I can help you stumble a few less than I did.
Really, I'm not avoiding my lesson.
It's your choice. But listen to this, okay?
Look, how you do one thing is how you do everything,
and what you're not doing is learning your haftorah.
Seriously. It's not even Hebrew. You sound like an injured dolphin.
[high voice] Really? Oh.
[chuckles]
We'll talk soon.
Peace out, Flipper.
? Only got one shot Better get it right ?
? I'm getting ready ?
? Gotta look real hot 'Cause it's Friday night ?
? I'm getting ready! ?
? I'm getting ready today I'm getting ready to say ?
? "I'm not that weird geek You think I must be" ?
? I'm getting ready to move I'm getting ready to prove ?
? Kendra just needs a love god like me ?
? Big night tonight Then everyone comes to my Bar Mitzvah ?
? Gotta wear a tie ?
? If this goes right Then everyone comes to my Bar Mitzvah ?
? Gotta zip my fly ?
? If we can get in And Brett's ready for action ?
? But Kendra's distracted By Archie's distraction ?
? So they never kiss Lucy gets satisfaction ?
-? And everyone comes to my party ? -? So I'm getting ready, it's true ?
? I'm getting ready to do ?
-? Something that makes them ? -? Something that makes her ?
? Accept me at last ?
? I'm getting ready, all right ?
? Nothing can stop me tonight ?
? I'm getting ready ?
? Ready ?
? Now! ?
-Oh my God! Can I help-- -Just watch where you're going!
-[Evan] I-- I-- -[man] No need to do this.
-[Evan] I always fail. -Oh. Evan pulled this off.
[Evan] I'm sorry!
[girl whispers] I'm so afraid. Do you like scary movies?
-[Brett] Hey, Archie. -[boy whispers] This is so cool.
-Hey, what's up? -[Malcolm] Hey, Carlos.
[KC] Brett, you made it.
[whispers] Yeah.
All right. Eddie, how's my breath?
-[Brett exhales] -[Eddie sniffs]
I'm, like, getting notes of jalape?os and bowling shoes.
[unsure] That's good, right?
Yeah, yeah-- That's fine.
[Charlotte] Really?
[Carlos, softly] Cassie, Molly, over here!
-[boy] This is gonna be scary. -[Brett] What's up, Cassie.
-[Cassie] Hi, Carlos. -[Carlos] Hi, Cassie.
-[Cassie] Charlotte! -[girl] Come sit with me.
-[girl] Hey, Malcolm. -[boy] Kendra's here.
[girl 2] Yeah, I'm kinda nervous.
-Hey, Kendra. -Hey.
Hi!
Mission Popcorn Pileup accomplished.
-Thank you. -[girl] Great job, Evan.
[Malcolm] I can't believe you pulled this off.
This better work. Or you'll be lighting that birthday menorah alone.
That's Hanukkah.
Heidi, so cool that your cousin, who escaped prison,
let us use his cabin here in the isolated mountains.
-[Heidi giggles] -[keys jangle]
[Heidi] Look, there's blood everywhere.
-[knife unsheathes] -[Heidi screams]
[screaming continues]
[Heidi] He said he was going to look for some tools in the toolshed.
Yo, there you are. I was worried that you were--
[Heidi screams]
-I'll never sleep again! -This is awesome!
We have to run.
Let's split up.
Yeah.
They--
Get off!
[chuckles uncomfortably, sighs]
Kurt, if we're about to be cut into pieces,
then let's have one last kiss.
Oh! He's going in.
This is on.
[Archie gasps and sighs]
Ooh!
[Archie gasps]
-[Mrs. Duncan] Kendra Duncan! -[Evan] Oh my God.
-Mom?! -[woman] Cassie Connor!
Everyone under the age of 17, out!
-[KC] How'd you find out? -Who did this?
[Jessica] Evan Goldman!
-[Evan] Huh? -[Charlotte] Evan? Seriously?
[Brett] Goldman?
-[KC] Evan? -You did this?
Evan, you said I could kiss Kendra.
-What? -No!
[laughing] Evan, what did you do?
[Brett] Dude, why would you do this?
No way we're coming to your party now.
-Come on. -[boy] What is going on?
[chainsaw buzzing in movie]
[dramatic music in movie]
-[Heidi screams] -[chainsaw buzzes]
? No, it's not right now! Wait until you're older! ?
? No, you're not ready! No, it's not time yet! ?
? No, it's not right now! Wait until you're older! ?
? Homework! Laundry! Dishes! Courses! ?
? Just settle down and hold your horses! ?
What were you thinking?
You scared me. You can't just run away.
Isn't that what you're doing?
No! That's�� It's different.
-Evan. Honey. -[Evan] I know, Mom.
"We'll get through it. It'll be fine. You'll make new friends."
I just wanted to make sure you went to the bathroom before we left.
Oh, I-- I'm good.
Good, but all that other stuff too.
Mom, I hate this.
And I hate that Dad met someone else.
I know, kiddo. Me too.
We'll get through this.
? Just about to turn Just about to turn ?
? Just about to turn Just about to turn 13! ?
-? Something is coming ? -? Thirteen! ?
-? Something is blowing up ? -? Thirteen! ?
-? Something is humming ? -? Thirteen! ?
-? Somebody's growing up ? -? Thirteen! ?
? Thirteen! ?
? The best and the worst And the most and the least ?
? And the crazy and the scary And we're just about to turn 13! ?
[cow moos]
Oh! Look at that stunning sunset.
No buildings. No smog. No stress.
No people. Literally no people.
Thank God. I was so worried.
How was that drive?
[chuckles weakly]
Oh. You look terrible.
What? Hug your mother already.
I'm okay, Mom.
You're not. A mother knows.
Evan. Evan! [laughs]
Hi, Grandma.
What?
I'm fine.
You're not. A grandma knows. Come on.
Wow, this place looks exactly the same.
[Grandma] I'm surprised you remember.
You haven't been here since you were five,
but if it took a divorce to get you to come back, maybe it's a good thing.
-Mom! -What? I look at the bright side.
-Come on, I'll show you your room. -[Evan] All righty.
-[Grandma] I'll take the bag. -[Evan] Okay.
[Grandma] Oh my God, it's heavy. What do you have in here, rocks?
Your room.
Was this my mom's room?
[Grandma] Yes, it was, but I've been using it as a yoga studio,
so that might be what you smell. Sorry.
Evan.
I know you'll miss your friends
and school and bagels.
But give it a chance.
When your grandfather brought me here, I didn't think I'd ever get used to it.
But 50 years later, he's dead,
and I'm still here buying my bras, eggs, and tires all in one store.
[both laugh]
I love you.
And not just because I have to.
[cellphone vibrates]
[owl hoots]
[sighs] This entire year has been lawyers and therapists and�� carbs,
and every mom on the Upper West Side asking, "How are you?"
[sighs] I needed out.
[Grandma] So you're out.
Now you can start over. Do whatever you want.
You could finally write again, huh?
Mom. Give me a little time, okay?
Take all the time you need. Who am I to judge?
But, ticktock.
I'm just saying.
How can anyone sleep with all this quiet?
Good morning, honey. Put away your video game.
[Grandma] So, Evan,
I was thinking about your Bar Mitzvah.
Okay, just curious.
How many other Jews are there in Walkerton?
If you include us?
Us.
Is there a temple?
There is. It's called a church.
So we'll do the party in the backyard.
Oh, and I've got a boom box. You can make me a mixtape.
What's a mixtape?
Also, I'm new here.
If my party is awful, I'll never live it down.
I know it's important. We will make it good, I promise.
It needs to be better than good.
Okay. Tell you what. I'll plan it.
-You'll plan it? -Yes.
-You? -Yes.
-[Jessica] Really? -[Evan] Yes, really.
So it can be everything that I want.
-Fine. -Good.
-Good.
-See? -[door opens]
This is family.
[girl] Miss Ruth!
-Am I interrupting? -[all] No!
Uh, hi, Miss Ruth.
Patrice. Perfect.
This is my daughter, Jessica.
And I know it's been a while, but you and Evan remember each other, yes?
-[Evan] No. -[Patrice] Not really.
Miss Ruth, I came by to return your book.
The Bell Jar.
Oh, this book made me wanna be a writer.
Isn't it a little sad?
What's sad is you're the only one around here who knew it was sad.
-Patrice, maybe you can show Evan around. -[Patrice] Sure.
Great.
-Wanna take some toast? -[Evan] I'm good.
Okay.
-That's a cool shirt. -Thanks.
I try to warn people here that they're destroying our wildlife with landfills.
-And how's that going? -Landfills are part of the tour.
Patrice! Patrice!
-Is that Evan? -Yeah. Evan, this is Archie.
-Hey, Archie. -[Archie] I know what you're thinking.
Yep, I'm faking it.
I'm gonna show Evan around.
This is around. Let me know if you run into Kendra.
-Wait, who's Kendra? -An angel walking amongst us mere mortals.
[chuckles]
-Cool. I can't wait to meet her. -[Patrice laughs]
I'm not planning on running into Kendra. We'll see you later.
[Archie] Fine.
I'll be here.
[dramatically] Alone.
The one child left behind.
-Don't fall for it. -See you later, Archie!
[Archie] Welcome to Walkerton.
If someone offers to pray for you, let them.
[laughs]
-So what is there to do around here? -Not much.
Yesterday I finished YouTube.
It's not nearly as exciting as your life in New York.
Exciting, right.
My dad gets a midlife crisis, and I get mid-America.
Now I have to have my Bar Mitzvah in Walkerton, Indiana.
For us Jews, it's the one day that's supposed to be happy and perfect.
See, Catholics don't have that day.
It would go against everything we believe in.
[Evan] Back home, your party defines you.
Hey, you help with my petition to phase out single-use plastic,
and I'll help you plan your party.
Deal. And I'll make that my Mitzvah project.
Your what?
When you have a Bar Mitzvah,
you get to pick a charity project that helps others.
This is all working out.
We'll find the best DJ at the best ballroom at the best hotel.
-Which is the Best Western. -What?
Okay, where to start?
? Down the road, there's a Dairy Queen Up the block, there's a Walmart ?
? There's a place You can accessorize your pets ?
? A school, a tree, a couple of churches And no matter how hard anybody searches ?
? That's about as thrilling As this dumbass village gets ?
? It's the lamest place in the world ?
? But it just got a little bit better ?
? So don't disappear ?
? It's the lamest place in the world ?
? But I'm pretty sure It's not as lame as it was before ?
? Now that you're here ?
Come on, I'll show you the hillside where everyone waits for the resurrection.
And tomorrow, I can show you the haunted barn.
? Forty miles to the nearest river Sixty miles to the airport ?
? When we plan our escape That's where we're gonna have to be ?
[cow moos]
? It's a shame, it's a sham It's a terrible pity ?
? You got dragged away From New York City ?
? It's major suck for you But it's amazing luck for me ?
? It's the lamest place in the world ?
? And you're completely exotic ?
? Intellectual, neurotic ?
? You would never have a shot ?
? Except you found the perfect guide ?
? And though I don't really know you ?
? I can hardly wait to show you ?
? Every fake and freak Every fool and clown ?
? Since the Chippewas settled This stupid town ?
? Let 'em laugh, they won't keep me down ?
? With you by my side! ?
? And it just got a little bit better ?
No, no, no! No!
[manager] Have you seen the poster for it? It's just made of blood!
I can't believe this.
Get up.
[sighs] I'm sorry. I just wanted to have some fun for once.
Do something I wanted.
I trusted you, and this is what happens.
Kendra!
Stay away from my daughter. Go.
I can't believe you all did this.
[Brett huffs]
Archie, are you okay?
Okay? You messed up my one chance to kiss Kendra.
I was just trying to help you.
Okay, why does everyone think I need help?
I have my own parking space, my own bathroom, the best ride in town.
I'm great.
You two clearly need more help than I do.
I can't believe you told.
You were using Archie just so people would come to your party.
Or maybe you purposely wanted tonight to fail so no one would come to my party.
You took advantage of my friend. It's not me that ruined everything.
Archie, wait up.
[Lucy] Are you okay?
[Brett] No.
I was about to kiss Kendra.
Yeah, but��
Do you think she really would have gone through with it?
Yeah, she was--
I mean, she was worried her mom would get furious.
Maybe she wouldn't have.
Really?
[muted] I can't believe this. I trusted you��
Maybe you've been waiting all summer for someone who isn't ready for you,
instead of someone who is, you know,
ready for an opportunity like this.
Let's get out of here, boyfriend.
Wait, what?
-Tell me not to kill him. -Don't kill him.
-Too late. -Jessica!
That was your room once.
Remember what it felt like to sit on that bed when you messed up.
[Jessica sighs]
[sighs]
[Brett] Set!
Hut!
[whistle blows]
Man, what's up? Are you possessed?
-'Cause I've seen that at church. -You need to fix your wig.
Brett, you stood there like you've never seen a football before.
-It's a football. -[Lucy] Brett!
-Ah. -See? I can't focus.
And every time she kisses me, I forget why I don't want her to kiss me.
You know, it's like my brain stops working.
Brett! I'm texting you!
Sorry, y'all. I gotta��
-This is bad. -This is bad.
I've been texting you.
What? I'm on the field.
You should have your phone on you. I've been texting and calling you.
What? When I'm on the field? That doesn't make sense.
-[Lucy] Yeah, it does. -[Brett] Don't be angry about this.
[Lucy] What if I needed to talk to you?
? What is a man When he gives up his soul? ?
? When his brains are in chains ?
? And his heart has lost control ?
You're telling me.
? How does a man Who can see behind his head ?
? Turn as blind as a bat with no eyes? ?
What if I needed to talk to you or had something important to--
? What is a man When he turns on his friends? ?
? We've been tossed, now we're lost ?
-? Just a wig full of split ends ? -Now, that's the truth.
? How do we make ?
? Our hero wide awake ?
? So that he can realize? ?
? That girl is bad, bad news ?
? Bad news ?
? Nothing but tears, nothing but trouble Nothing but stress ?
? Yes, she is bad, bad news Bad news ?
? Bad news ?
? Our buddy, Brett, is gonna regret That he ever said "yes" ?
? The girl may be hot But all that he's got ?
? Is bad, bad news ?
[Cassie] Hey, Lucy. Hey, Brett.
-[Brett] Oh. Hey, Cassie. -Wait, were you flirting with her?
-I was just saying hi. -Oh, so you're saying she's hot.
No, I mean, she's�� nice.
Oh, so I'm not nice?
-What? I never said that. -Oh, so now I'm a liar!
[Brett sighs] This girl.
? That girl is bad, bad news Bad news ?
? Very bad news ?
? It's an invasion ?
? It's like a war ?
? Or a zombie attack ?
? Whack! Goes the bad, bad news Bad news ?
? Tr��s bad! ?
? We've been abandoned, left in the sand And we need him back ?
? They're kissing, they're dating It's so nauseating ?
? It's bad, bad news ?
? Every minute we wait Is an hour too late ?
? He has got to be freed from her spell ?
? Why would our friend prefer To be hanging with her? ?
-? Are we mean? ? -? Are we rude? ?
? Do we smell? ?
? He's a mess on the field So our fate has been sealed ?
-? Now it's time for our team to rebel ? -? Yeah! ?
? His hormones have made him A fool and a clown ?
? If we don't solve it soon Then we're all going down ?
? The longer it goes, the worse it'll get So somebody's gotta tell Brett! ?
? Yeah! ?
-? That girl is bad, bad news, bad news ? -? Yahoo! She's so bad, yeah ?
? She took our pal, she took our leader And led him astray ?
? Hey, hey! ?
? She's totally bad, bad news Bad news ?
? Bad news ?
? Listen up, Brett You're not ruined yet ?
? We'll show you the way ?
? Get away from that noise And come back to your boys ?
? Even though she has excellent shoes ?
? She's bad, bad, bad, bad ?
? Bad, bad, bad, bad ?
? News! ?
? Bad news! ?
[thunder rumbles]
[rain pattering]
I just wanted to make friends.
I just wanted something to go right.
I know it hasn't been easy.
-Now everyone thinks I'm a loser. -Nobody thinks you're a loser.
"You're a loser."
Okay!
Things are going really great for us, huh?
You and me.
? Kid from the city Steps up to the plate ?
? He's got one at-bat To determine his fate ?
? And so he takes a big swing With remarkable grace ?
? And the ball Hits him right in the face ?
? It would be funny if it didn't suck ?
? If it didn't hurt ?
? If it wasn't the end of the world ?
? It was over before I started ?
? And nothing's gonna fix it now ?
? Girl from the sticks Had a plan of attack ?
? "I'm gonna set New York on fire And I'm not coming back" ?
? Except I guess I never got around To lighting that torch ?
? 'Cause I'm back On my mother's front porch ?
? It would be funny if it didn't suck If it wasn't me ?
? If it happened to anyone else ?
? I avoided three high school reunions ?
? But nothing's gonna fix it now ?
? Nobody wants to hear ?
? How failing's The only way you can learn ?
? Doesn't matter If you don't know the rules ?
? Or you don't like the game ?
? 'Cause you find out What you're made of ?
? When you face What you're most afraid of ?
? Tell her you haven't slept at night ?
? Tell her Although you've made a huge mistake ?
? You want to make it right ?
Uh-huh. Keep going.
? Tell her you know you aren't perfect ?
? Tell her you've waited way too long ?
? Tell her you're sorry ?
? Tell her you mean it ?
? Tell her you just were wrong ?
Do you even know what you're saying?
I think what he's saying is��
? Tell her You shouldn't have ignored her ?
? Or dissed her In front of all the school ?
?Tell her The minute you got out of touch ?
? You felt like such a fool ?
? Tell her just hanging out together ?
? Was so nice you prayed it wouldn't end ?
? Tell her you're sorry ?
? Tell her you miss her ?
? Ask if she'll be your friend ?
? Tell her you think of her at sundown ?
? And sunrise ?
? And dinnertime ?
? And noon ?
? Tell her there's one thing That you're sure you know ?
? You both are so in tune ?
? Tell her That life feels dumb without her ?
? Stand tall and look her in the eye ?
? Tell her you're sorry ?
? Tell her you'll prove it ?
? Ask her to let you try ?
? Tell her that people get things wrong 'Cause people are afraid ?
? They won't fit in your world Or in your life ?
? But things will work out fine ?
? If she will only listen ?
? Listen! ?
? Kendra, I thought about what happened ?
? Kendra, I haven't slept at night ?
? Kendra, I know I made a huge mistake ?
? I wanna make it right ?
? I know there are no good excuses ?
? I feel like I've been in a trance ?
? Tell her you're sorry ?
I'm sorry.
? Tell her you mean it ?
I mean it.
? Ask for another chance ?
? Kendra ?
? I just want another ?
? Chance ?
Go, go. Yeah.
[music builds]
[music crescendos]
Okay, stop, no! Brett is with me!
[awkward silence]
Brett!
Not anymore.
-Twist! -[laughter erupts]
Hey, Evan.
Thanks.
No problem, Brett.
See you at your party.
I wish you never came here. You ruined my life.
I think you ruined your life.
Trust me, I know how that works.
[poignant music]
Patrice, I know I messed up.
We both did.
I shouldn't have made you choose between me and them.
I just want you at my party.
Let me think about it, okay?
[gasps] Patrice!
Hi! Are you ever coming by to say hello anymore?
What?
You look like all the oceans dried up.
[Patrice] Miss Ruth,
what if you're really mad at someone who did something that really hurt you
and you don't know how to not be mad anymore?
I can tell you this. If you push away everyone who ever makes a mistake,
all you'll be left with is yourself.
And that would be an even bigger mistake.
I wish I was as smart as you.
And I wish I was as young as you.
We work with what we have, huh?
[laughs]
I don't understand ties.
It's like your neck is a gift.
[Jessica, whispers] Come here.
There you go.
There.
I am proud of you.
[sniffles]
[sobs]
What-- What happened? It was all going so well.
[snivelling]
My son is a man.
-[sighs] You're totally embarrassing me. -[laughs]
You're totally embarrassing me.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I promise, I--
-There'll be more of this today. -[both laugh]
Come here. [snivels]
-God I love you. -[Evan] I love you too.
[footsteps receding]
[poignant music]
Honey, fast.
Will do.
[doorbell rings]
-Seat belt. -[Evan] All right.
Thank you.
[Miss Ruth] Evan.
I have something for you.
And this was your grandfather's first yarmulke.
He'd want you to wear it.
Just don't smell it. Take my word.
-Thank you, Grandma. -[Miss Ruth] I love you.
[Evan] Love you too.
-I'll see you in there. -Okay.
[Evan] Yo, guys.
-What's up? -[Brett] What's up?
-How you feelin'? -[Evan] Really good. I'm feeling good!
-Oh man! -You did good, Jess.
[Jess chuckles]
-Be proud. -I am.
Of course, I helped.
[Evan] Rabbi Shapiro, you made it!
Ah! So here we are. You worked hard for this.
And I had to listen to all of it, so good for us.
[Evan chuckles]
-How you feeling? -Well, I'm having my Bar Mitzvah.
Just not where I thought or how I thought or with who I thought, but, you know��
-So don't believe everything you think. -Yeah.
Not a lot of Jews around here, huh?
-Least I'm the hottest rabbi somewhere. -[Evan chuckles]
You know, you were right.
This is more important than a dope party.
[laughs] I just said that so you'd study.
-Let's rock this suburb. -Oh yeah!
-High five, baby! -[Evan] My man!
[Evan sighs]
-Hey, Dad. -[Joel] Hey.
Thanks for letting me come.
That is a killer suit. Bet the, uh, girls are all over you.
That is the most dad line in the world.
How about giving your dad a hug?
You know, I'm looking forward to next summer.
Yeah, me too.
All right, Mr. Goldman. Showtime.
[Evan] What happens if I mess up?
Then you take a big breath,
and you do it better the next time, or at least you try.
Okay?
Okay.
-Ooh. Family selfie. -I'll see you in there.
[Evan] Come on. Look at this.
-Some of that, oh. -[Joel] All right. Right on.
Ready? Look at that.
One, two, three.
That's awesome. That's awesome.
All righty.
Hi, Joel.
It's good you came.
You look great.
I know.
I feel like I missed out on some important stuff here.
Thanks for not giving up on him.
Hmm.
Um��
A Jewish olive branch.
[laughs] Oh! Thank you.
-[sniffs] -[Joel laughs]
[Jessica sighs]
Oh!
Thank you.
[Joel] Hm.
You know,
I'm writing again.
-Really? -Mm-hm. A novel.
-That's not gonna end well for me, is it? -Probably not.
Yeah.
[Lucy] Kendra, wait.
Lucy, what are you doing here?
I came to say I'm sorry.
I was really hurt you didn't text me all summer
but were talking to Brett.
[Kendra] I know. I should have just told you.
[Lucy] Of course he would like you. Everyone likes you. You're really smart.
You get all A's.
You're really lucky.
Sorry I messed everything up.
I figured if I had Brett, I could feel important to somebody.
[Kendra] You've always been important to me.
I was wrong, and
I really miss you.
I really miss my best friend.
I miss you too.
Let's never let a boy come between us again.
[poignant music]
[Rabbi Shapiro speaking in Hebrew]
Hashem, who created the heavens,
gives a soul to the people and a spirit to all who walk upon it.
And now, Evan will finish his reading with the haftorah.
I call back to the bimah�� [speaks Hebrew]
[positive music]
Oh! You made it!
See, was that so difficult?
You are so annoying.
[scoffs] You love me.
[chanting Hebrew prayer beautifully]
Well done.
? If you stand here behind me And you call me a man ?
? And you're counting on me To come through ?
? You should know That I'll give you the best that I can ?
? But we all have ?
? A little more homework to do ?
? And I've been looking In the back of the book for the answers ?
? Hoping the bell wouldn't chime ?
? But I'm not ready To put down my pencil just yet ?
? There are too many answers That I didn't get ?
? I need a little less pressure ?
? And a little more time ?
? I am trying to follow ?
? I am trying to lead ?
? I am trying to find what is true ?
? But if you're gonna stand with me ?
? Then you have to concede ?
? That we all have ?
? A little more homework to do ?
? Day turns to day turns to day Turns to day turns to day turns to day ?
? You get a little bit older A little bit taller ?
? A little bit better, a little bit ?
? Day turns to day turns to day Turns to day turns to day ?
? And the days ahead coming on so quick ?
? You can't get out of the way You keep running ?
? Day turns to day turns to day Turns to day turns to day turns to day ?
? And I'm a little bit older A little bit faster ?
? A little bit closer, a little bit ?
? Day turns to day turns to day Turns to day turns to day ?
? And the sky goes blue And the sky goes black ?
? And no matter what you do You can't go back ?
? You go day into day into day ?
? Day into day into day ?
? Day turns to day turns to day Turns to day turns to day turns to day ?
? And I'm a little bit braver A little bit broader ?
? A little bit brighter ?
? And I've been looking In the back of a book for the answers ?
? Hoping the bell wouldn't chime ?
? But I'm not ready to put down My pencil just yet ?
? There are too many answers That I didn't get ?
? I need a little less pressure ?
? And a little more time! ?
? I am trying to follow ?
? I am trying to lead ?
? I am trying to learn what is true ?
? I am trying to be What you want and I need ?
? And we all have a little more homework ?
? We all have a little more homework ?
-? To do ? -? Day turns to day turns to day ?
-? Turns to day turns to day ? -? A little more homework to do ?
? Day turns to day Turns to day turns to day ?
-? A little more homework to do ? -? Day turns to day, day turns to ?
-? Day turns to day turns to day ? -? A little more homework ?
? Day turns to day Turns to day turns to day ?
? A little more homework ?
-? To do ? -? Day turns to day turns to day ?
? Turns to day Turns to day turns to day! ?
I'm Evan Goldman.
I live at 24 Plains Drive, Walkerton, Indiana.
I'm 13 years old, and I'm just getting started.
[applause erupts]
[sobs]
One, two, three, here we go!
? I saw the cover, and I judged the book ?
? I turned away without a second look ?
? But now, now, now I see a brand-new you ?
? Mm-mmm ?
? I told myself I better run and hide ?
? I never noticed what was there inside But now, now, now ?
? I see a brand-new you ?
? Ah-ahh ?
? And I can't stop myself from loving Every itty-bitty thing�� ?
? You, you! I see a brand-new you! ?
? I didn't know where I was meant to be ?
? Ooh-ooh-ooh ?
? I figured no one would be there for me ?
? But now, now, now ?
? I see a brand-new you ?
? You, you, I see a brand-new you ?
? I never knew that you could understand ?
? But I looked up And you reached out your hand ?
? And now, now, now I see a brand-new you! ?
? Ooh-ooh-ooh ?
? I opened my eyes ?
? And there's a great big world around ?
? I opened my eyes ?
? And just look, just look ?
? Look at what I found ?
? Here we go! ?
? Na-na-na-na-na-na-na Na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na ?
? Na-na-na-na-na-na ?
? Na-na-na-na-na-na-na Na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na ?
? Na-na-na-na-na-na ?
? Na-na-na-na-na-na-na Na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na ?
? Na-na-na-na-na-na ?
? Na-na-na-na-na-na-na Na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na ?
? Na-na-na-na-na-na ?
? Na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na ?
? Na-na-na, na-na-na Na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na ?
? Hey! ?
? Yeah! ?
? I opened my eyes ?
? And there's a great big world around ?
? I opened my eyes ?
-? And just look, just look ? -? Look at what I found! ?
? I see a brand-new you! Ooh! ?
? I see a brand-new you! ?
-Bravi Charlo-- Bravo Charlie mark. -[kids laughing]
Bravo mark.
Chocolate mark.
[woman] Alpha Bravo Carmen. Marker.
Charlie mark. [squeals] I did it.
Charlie marker.
Bravo mark.
Delta mark.
-[Lucy squeals] -Charlie mark.
Delta mark.
Bravo mark.
Charlie mark.
Delta mark.
[man] Marker.
Marker.
Your mark.
[all] Marker!
? This summer, I was losing my mind ?
? Trying to keep myself busy ?
-? 'Stead of thinking 'bout you ? -? Thinking 'bout you ?
? No matter how I acted I could never really get distracted ?
? And the mystery in my mind That I can't dismiss ?
? Is when I'm ever gonna Get my first real kiss ?
? I spend every night and day Just thinking 'bout how I could get away ?
? But I'm stuck in jail I can't get free ?
? 'Cause there's my mother Always watching me ?
? I tried to do the stuff I love to do ?
? But every song, every game It's all the same ?
? It just made me, made me Ma-made me wanna be with you! ?
-? I've been waiting ? -? I've been waiting ?
? I've been waiting all summer for you! ?
-? I've been waiting ? -? I've been waiting ?
? And I think that I'm ready now ?
? Same story I was losing my mind ?
? On the shores of Lake Wawasee 'Stead of being with you ?
? Being with you ?
? Sometimes when I couldn't write ?
? I was beaming thoughts From my brain at night ?
? From the mess hall, the canteen ?
? From the lake, from the lodge The latrine that I had to clean ?
? Thinking, "All I really wanna do Is to have my first real kiss with you" ?
? "Where it's dark and quiet And romantic" ?
? "Without your mom standing there Getting frantic" ?
? And now I'm here beside you Like a dream come true ?
? Every minute, every day I was kept away ?
? Only made me, made me Ma-made me wanna be with you! ?
-? I've been waiting ? -? I've been waiting ?
? I've been waiting all summer for you ?
-? I've been waiting ? -? I've been waiting ?
-? I've been waiting all summer for you ?
-? I've been waiting ? -? I've been waiting ?
? Waiting all summer for you ?
[change of music tempo]
? Brett wants Kendra To be his girlfriend ?
? But Brett is the boy That I wanna be with ?
? I'm tired of being Second best to my best friend ?
? So she's smart, and she's pretty And she's nice, oh hey! ?
? I'm smart, and I'm pretty And I'm�� anyway ?
? I'm a better choice to be with Brett And I can prove it if I get ?
? An O-P-P, opportunity! O-P-P, opportunity! ?
? O-P-P, opportunity! O-P-P, opportunity! ?
? Whoa-oh! Whoa-oh! Whoa-oh! Whoa-oh! ?
? I'd show Brett what his girl oughta be If I only had an itty-bitty opportunity ?
? M-m-m, yeah ?
? Oooh! ?
? Oooh, whoa-oh, whoa-oh, whoa-oh! ?
? Opportunity! ?
? Picture me Being Brett's new girlfriend ?
? Brett's got a brand-new girlfriend! ?
? Picture Kendra so happy for me ?
? Oooh, sad! ?
? Picture Brett Hanging out in my rec room ?
? Let's play another game of foosball ?
? I mean, we're basically the same Check us out, can't you tell? ?
? So I don't get football But I fake it really well ?
? I could show him I'm a better girl If someone just would get a girl ?
? An O-P-P, opportunity ?
-? O-P-P ? -? Opportunity ?
? Hey-oh! ?
? O-P-P, opportunity O-P-P, opportunity ?
? Whoa-oh! Whoa-oh! Whoa-oh! Whoa-oh! ?
? How will he know That he really wants me ?
? If he never even gets A little opportunity? ?
[marching band plays]
? Ho-ha! ?
? Here we go, here we go Here we go, huh! ?
[rapping] ? Lucy's gonna get what Lucy deserves ?
? Ho! ?
? I've got the vision, the precision And the nerves, and I'm merciless ?
? I cast a curse, you can't reverse this ?
? I'm gonna be The first to get the first kiss ?
-? Check that! ? -? Ho! ?
? In the lunch room or the locker room I can rock a room like a shock, boom ?
? Your time is running out Tick-tick-tock, boom! ?
? Ever since we were three It's been Kendra and me ?
? But it's time now to break free Hashtag never underestimate me ?
-? Up high for L-U-C-Y! ? -? Ho! ?
-? What's it gonna be? ? -? What? ?
-? When am I gonna see some�� ? -? O-P-P-O-R-T unity! ?
? Whoa-oh! Whoa-oh! Whoa-oh! Whoa-oh! ?
? What kind of best friend would I be ?
? If I didn't take advantage Of an opportunity? ?
? Amazing but true ?
? Yes, the lamest place in the world Has lots of flaws ?
? But maybe it'll be fine ?
? Because it brought me ?
? To you! ?
-[Evan] Mom, Patrice is waiting for me! -[Jessica] Books. Where are your books?
There are no books. It's the first day. It's just the first day.
Okay, okay, okay.
-[Evan wheezes] -[sighs] I am so proud of you.
[strained voice] You're popping my lung. Okay.
Hey!
Love you, Mom.
[Jessica sighs]
[Patrice] I'm so excited about my petition.
We can set things up at lunch, and I'll show you where everything is.
[boy] Eddie, Malcolm, check this out. We're in a canoe. Right?
-Come on, Ev, let's get inside. -One second.
I said, "Yo, dude, what happened to your toe?"
And he said, "Leeches."
-[mouths] What? -Bro, what?
-Hey, Brett got taller, huh? -[boy] No way, man.