Night calls, we're getting you all
Got your sweet and naughty girls
Gonna show you it all
Night calls, making dreams come true
If you got the balls, give us a call
You're on night calls
Music
How difficult is this, baby?
I'm singing out my voice to let you be
It takes time, we'll build these worlds
I swear I'll cope, but right now
We just need some time
You and I both know
I'll come back for you
And we're ready, baby
You and I both know
I'm breathing, but you know
I'll come back for you
And we're ready
Applause
Welcome to Night Calls.
Tonight on the show we have legendary adult director Jim Powers.
Applause
Comic Eric Griffin.
Applause
Let's see, Spearmint Rhino Strippers.
Applause
Our band Never Heard Of It.
Applause
And as always the hottest and horniest girls on TV.
Yeah they are.
So our topic tonight is how to make your own porn.
If you have any stories or tips call 800-359-8100
Or you can email us at nightcallsatplayboy.com
You can also check us out at myspace.com slash nightcallslive.
Well, Kirsten, let's not lie here.
We all know you've made some amateur porn videos.
Yeah, I like to make some movies at home.
It's kind of my thing, you know.
And you as I noticed because I've seen a couple of your videos
which are very hot by the way.
You like to role play.
I do, I like to dress up and, you know, do some crazy shit.
You did do some crazy shit.
I remember the little Dorothy outfit.
Yeah, well, you know, what are you going to do?
But you know, role playing is all fun and games
but it's about making the amateur porn.
And I've got a good tip.
When you're going to make amateur porn, get the tape.
If it's you and a guy, you make sure that you get the tape
whether you have to fight over it or not.
If you're a guy or a girl, always get that tape
because it's going to end up on the internet.
It's going to end up on someone's TV at a party.
So just make sure you get that tape back no matter what.
There should only be one copy.
One copy, you have it, it's all good.
Yeah, because when you break up this stuff is gold, baby.
You don't want to fuck that shit up.
It's revenge.
Hello, do you ever want to get back at your girlfriend
or your boyfriend and be like, oh yeah,
I'm going to show this tape everywhere
and everybody's going to see that you're a dirty little whore.
That's right, so make sure you get that tape.
Dude, I love making porn.
You know what it is about making amateur porn?
It's kind of exciting and new.
Even if you do porn for a living, you're making it.
Nobody's telling you what to do.
It's kind of in the raw, kind of nasty.
You can kind of get away with what you want
and you're in your privacy of wherever you want to be.
Your home or somebody else's home or anything.
And it's kind of dirty.
You're sitting there like you're not supposed to be doing it.
It feels new and it feels wrong and it feels fucking great.
It just makes me want to unzip your dress.
Let's talk to Bob.
Hello, Bob.
Hello, ladies.
How's it going, baby?
Oh, God, you are so hot.
Oh, thanks, Bob.
I bet you're real hot too.
I do okay.
Bob, do you want to make your own amateur porn with us right now?
Oh, I'd love to.
I need to see something though.
Is your cock out?
What's that?
I do have it out.
Yeah.
Hey, little pussy.
Oh, my God.
Fucking put your cock right in there.
I'd love to.
Want to fuck us?
Oh, it's nice and fucking wet for you, Bob.
Oh, shit.
Feel that fucking wet pussy.
Oh, my God.
Yeah, baby.
Fucking lick that.
Oh, Bob.
You are making my day.
This is so on.
Yeah.
Oh, fuck.
You like that, Bob?
Oh, my God.
Spank her, please, Kirsten.
Oh.
Spank her, please.
Oh, my God.
Yeah.
Yeah, fucking harder.
You just wanted to bob her head up and down.
Bob.
Like that?
Oh, fucking come for us, Bob.
Don't you come all over her fucking ass.
I'll fucking do it.
Oh, my God.
Oh, Bob.
Put that fucking cum right here.
Right in your fucking tight little ass.
Oh, yeah.
Very nice.
Bob, thank you.
Thanks, Bob.
Thank you.
Well, now I'm going to take you to come visit with some of my friends and talk to them about
the movies they've made.
Hi, sexy girls.
Hi.
I'm here with Samantha Ryan and Hannah Harper, two very big stars.
Do you guys star in your own movies at home, too?
Do you make movies?
No.
Do you guys star in your own movies at home, too?
Do you make amateur porn?
I've done one.
One?
One.
Yeah.
And who has this tape right now?
My ex-boyfriend still has it because I do.
And was this before you were in the industry?
Actually, I made one of me just stripping by myself before I got in, like rehearsal porn
star style.
And then the one I did with my boyfriend was when I was in the industry.
Very sexy.
Oh, really?
Oh, I want to check it out where you're doing all, like, the porn star moves and stuff.
At first I was, like, nervous.
I'm like, I can't believe we're doing this.
And then I'm like, well, I'm a porn star.
I should just break out.
So I did, like, the reverse cowgirl and got some good angles for it.
Nice.
Loving it.
And Samantha, what about you?
I have made one.
One.
When I was a sweet little innocent girl before I was in the industry.
Oh.
Naughty girl.
I'm very naughty now.
I didn't really know what I was doing, but I had a lot of fun.
And we had, it was cute.
We had a little stuffed animal as our cameraman.
We set the camera on the stuffed animal.
Little stuffed monkey.
That was our cameraman.
Aw, how hot and sexy.
Stuffed monkey as a camera guy.
Hey, at least you had a cameraman, you know?
Most people don't have cameramen when they're making their own movies.
Well, let's take a caller.
Hi, Mike from Louisiana.
Hi, ladies.
Hi.
How are you guys doing?
Do you make your own home movies?
Yeah, I tend to make my movies quite frequently.
Huh?
Yeah, I do.
I make movies all the time.
You do?
Do you use a tripod or do you do POV style?
POV, always.
Yeah?
Always.
But I normally don't let the ladies know.
It's just my habit.
That's naughty.
So you don't let them know so they don't agree to it?
No, it's not that they don't agree.
Some find out midway and love it.
Get real turned on, some freak out.
Well, how would you get them to agree?
What's that?
How do you get them to agree to make the movie?
I don't even let them know the camera's in the room.
You don't?
It's not illegal.
Not if I don't show it to anyone.
But then what's the point of having it if we're not going to show it to all your friends?
Well, my friends, that's an exception, but no internet material.
That's for sure.
He's naughty.
I don't ever want to meet him.
I don't want some secret tape floating around of me.
No, it's definitely...
Hey, Jesse, you have any creeps over there at the bar?
You know, I don't have any creeps, but I got myself a freak right here
and it's our bartender here at night who calls.
Chris, what's up?
Not much, not much.
How you doing?
I'm really good and I'm just really curious.
Have you made your own amateur porn?
I never made my own amateur porn.
Interesting you used to say that. No.
Are you lying?
You're just trying to hide it because you're shy or something?
No, no, no. I'm just not into that kind of thing.
I would masturbate to your porn right now if you had it.
If you just show me the tape, I'll do it in front of you or you could join.
I mean, why haven't you made a porn?
There has to be a reason.
Well, normally the girls that I'm with afterwards,
I never want to see them again, so they don't need making a tape.
But you can always, you know, do an angle where you got her, you know, doggy
and you're just like, ugh, ugh, and you don't have to see her face.
Yeah, that's true too. I could do that. Maybe I'd think about that.
Maybe we'll go make one and practice in the dressing room.
What?
Yeah.
Think about it. Think about it.
I thought about it. It's tough.
Hi.
So, look what I ran into.
Sophia and Daisy, how are you?
Oh my god.
So, Miss Sophia, I don't know, have you ever made an amateur porn?
Well, you know, I mean, I've done a couple videos professionally,
but I was a Sunday school teacher before that, so.
Oh, so it was kind of dirty for you as a Sunday school teacher, right?
Yeah, I was, you know, I was a good girl. I couldn't do that. Are you kidding me?
I'm a good girl.
I was so shy.
I'm a good girl and I make amateur porn.
Yeah.
You're a good girl, believe me. I know. I'll have it tonight too, so.
That's hot too, but I'm also here with Daisy, who I don't have to ask.
I know Miss Daisy's made amateur home videos, have you not?
Definitely have.
How many would you say?
Oh, I can't even count. So many. Way too many.
I actually made one for everybody to see.
That's right. Daisy, for y'all out there, has made you a video
on tips of how to make your own amateur video and how to make it right.
Let's check it out.
Hi, I'm Daisy Marie and today I'm going to show you how to make your own home amateur porn.
First, you need a camera. Simple camera, nothing big like what I got here.
Now, first thing you need is good lighting.
Now, this room has very good natural light, but you can go to a hardware store
and find yourself a light like this.
The second thing you need is a cock.
And here is my cock. Say hi.
Hi.
Now, the first thing we're going to do is called a POV.
The main thing on a POV is you have to keep your eyes on the camera.
Make sure you give them those sexy eyes while you're sucking this cock.
You know, your man might be watching this, jerking off.
So, you definitely got to keep your eyes on the camera.
I'll show you how it's done.
So, next you need a tripod.
Here is the tripod. You set your camera here on the tripod.
Just like that, right?
And you make sure you got your shot.
Oh, God, it feels so good.
Now, ladies, if you're not loud when you're fucking,
you definitely want to be extra loud for your home video.
It makes it more exciting and more sexy.
Oh, yeah, I'm fucked up! Yes!
You're most definitely going to want to change positions
because it's going to get boring after a while.
And you are going to have to edit this on your computer later on,
and you want different transitions.
See? Wasn't that cool?
All right, now you're also going to want to put some music on,
you know, to set the mood.
Um, not that one.
All right, that sounds better.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
All right, now you also want to move your tripod around
so you get different angles, like this one.
Oh, what did I cut?
Now, it kind of sucks to have to stop every once in a while
to move the camera around, but in the end, it's all worth it.
Oh, oh, yeah.
All right, now you definitely want to use graphics in your movies
so that you remember who you're fucking.
What's your name again?
Mikey Butters.
Mikey Butters. See? There you have it.
Oh, no!
You just came inside of me.
Sure did.
Number one rule, do not come inside.
You must come all over the girl when you're making your home porn.
That's the number one rule.
Well, I hope you guys learned something.
Good luck on your home DVDs. Thanks.
Daisy, great video.
Well, I hope you guys learned something.
You know what? You should actually make that video and sell it.
You'd make lots of money,
and people would get great tips on home videos, I think.
I'm thinking about it.
Yeah, that was sexy. That was really, really hot.
Well, stay tuned.
We've got more amateur porn coming right at you
and a new construct star from Digital Playground.
Thank you!
Black is not now
Now you will be there
The baby got fit before now
But the storm is tearing now
She's now
She's sad
Oh, she's sad
She sees the light
She dies before the meaning
Welcome back.
Our topic tonight is amateur porn.
Have you all ever made some?
I know you have, so don't deny it out there.
In fact, let's call and talk to Ricky from New York
and ask what he's had.
Hey Ricky, do you make porn at home?
Hey, what's up girls?
Yeah, actually, I'd like to. That's what I'm calling about.
I got it all, you know, set up.
I've been looking in the bedroom, getting all the camera stuff.
But I'm talking to my girlfriend,
and she's a little hesitant.
The only thing she's worried about, she's like,
she doesn't want the tape to get out, and you know,
on the internet and all that kind of thing.
Is there anything I can say or do to kind of...
Get her drunk.
Totally, for one, because that always helps me anyways
with the bitches.
I just get them nice and liquored up.
They do whatever I want.
So that's tip number one.
But tip number two, tell her you're going to erase it.
And pretend you erase it.
Be like, oh, look, baby.
Or you can tell her you're going to give her the tape.
You know, if you tell her that she's going to give the tape,
even though you might have another secret camera running,
she doesn't have to know about it.
Yeah, you can be like, hey, look, baby,
it's not even recording. This red light means it's off.
Or you can come up with a corny story, too,
going, I want to remember
our love together
because it's so beautiful. I can't forget it.
And when you can't be with me, I want to watch it.
And, you know, chicks fall for that.
Yeah, it's romantic.
They do. I wouldn't, but they do.
It's romantic
to make co-movies, Ricky. Use that one.
Put some candles out,
massage oil,
lots of liquor.
You can do it.
Yeah, cool, cool.
We got it. All right, I'll give it a shot, girls.
All right, thanks. Let us see the video, Ricky.
Send it in.
Thank you.
So,
guess what time it is?
Born in 88!
All right.
So we are going to bring out
our Born in 88 girl, Ms. Shay Jordan,
new digital playground girl.
Yay!
Hey, hi, Mama.
Ooh.
Hi.
How are you? I'm good.
She's so cute.
Isn't she hot?
Want me to tell you something disappointing, though.
Go ahead. This is Shay Jordan,
digital playground's newest contract star,
the company I work for, and
I haven't got to fuck her yet.
Jess, you know what's worse than that?
What? Since I'm a wicked girl, I'll never
get to fuck her.
I like you.
Isn't she great?
I'm picking up what you're laying down, baby.
I like it.
There it is.
So how do you like being a contract girl?
I love it.
It's ecstatic.
That's nice.
And how many movies have you shot so far?
Three.
Of my own.
I thought it was two, but it's three.
How did you get in the industry, exactly?
I started off by sending
in photos to a
loser, and I was doing
nude modeling,
modeling, and then after that
I just decided the money wasn't good enough
and I wanted to do porn.
Check this out. This is Sexual Freak 2
from Digital Playground. Let's see you in action.
Look at those big cuffs.
You take big cuffs.
Wow, like a fucking champ.
Your titties bounce
real good. Are they real?
Yes.
Who is that cop?
It's the man behind the
cock, ladies and gentlemen.
Oh, wow.
You are a sexual freak.
I am.
Do you like to watch yourself getting
fucked? I love it.
I love the camera.
Do you ever go home and masturbate
to your own movies? I guess.
I like that. Have you?
Me neither.
I don't like to watch myself have sex.
I don't.
I don't know if I could watch myself and go
oh yeah, that's the way you do it.
Good move right there.
Do it with your leg.
Just try. It's sexy.
I have a hard time watching myself have sex
actually. It's kind of weird for me.
Obviously you masturbate.
We got a present for you.
I love her box coupling down.
Is it not cute?
I love the world here at Night Calls.
This is the Velvet
Touch Vibes and it's from
Doc Johnson. See?
Take it from a pro.
I have one. I swear.
I do. Look, here it is. This is my favorite
toy and you can get more toys like this
at DocJohnson.com.
This is great.
It works good too.
It's powerful.
And it's
waterproof.
You can use it in the tub.
Great.
I can use it all day every day.
I do too. I break so many of them.
This is a good one though.
It's time for a new one.
I use too many toys when I don't get to have sex.
I'm going to beat you with this.
Can I join?
Why don't you guys give me
a little preview of what it's going to be like
when you fuck each other.
I'm going to grab her.
I'm going to bend her over.
I'm going to sit in there and feel her nice
ass.
And then when I have my strap on
I'm going to fuck her
like this.
Roll her around.
Spread her legs.
Pull her hair.
This is good action
here people. High quality
digital playground action.
I'm liking what I see.
That is not amateur porn.
That is
professional type shit.
Oh wow it even goes faster
than I thought it did. Oh my god.
Thank you Doc Johnson.
You want to know what's funny though Kirsten?
I'll sit here and just jog off. What's funny?
It's not just
normal people or porn stars that make tapes.
Celebrities make amateur
porn too.
Pamela Anderson
Kid Rock
China
Paris Homes
A lot of people make amateur porn
but we've got a clip from
Justin Diamond
aka Screech
from Say My Name About You.
Now he really did make a porn guy so we have a clip
of it for you. Right now.
It's the D man here checking in
with the brotherhood of the bros. Hey the D
man. What's up D
man. That is
fantastic. You can see everything.
The entire world.
The world is exposed.
You know what else could be
exposed?
Oh you want to see it huh?
You want to see the monster?
Take the beast out. The beast.
Oh the monster.
The monster.
Come on.
Go to work.
Yeah.
Oh.
Here comes
the D. Oh yeah.
It's D.
I'm
a lucky man.
Oh yeah.
Now we're talking.
Yeah help me out baby.
Yeah just like that.
Gentlemen.
This is the D man signing off.
Oh yeah yeah.
And I got to bang a bride and her bride's
maid.
Oh yeah.
So that was
Screech. Stand by the bell?
Stand by the bell man. I used to watch that
every day after school. Me too. I know I wanted
to bang Zach Morrison.
That's hot. I would still
bang Zach. I would too.
You know I never thought I would see Screech's little
skinny. Hey wait no
no no. It's the monster.
The monster.
The D man. From watching
that tape I did get
a good tip to give to you guys. Do not
talk all the way through
your amateur movie. It makes it
kind of cheesy and a little ridiculous
don't you think? Oh yeah the D man
going in for a landing.
I don't know what the fuck he's talking about.
I know how about the here comes
the bride. He's like here comes the
D man.
You don't want to do that ladies and gentlemen.
You know if you whip out the monster don't
talk about it. Just pull it out
and fucking shove it in her mouth.
Make her suck it. Make her pee.
Nice. Get off. Come on her face.
I'll let you know when my home movie
comes out.
I won't talk through it.
Because I'm a big star and everything.
Well let's take a call. I think we have Gene from
Louisiana. Hi Gene.
How y'all doing ladies? Good how are you
doing? Oh we're just right. I'll tell you
what. I like what you're saying there.
When I make my own home videos
I like to focus on the woman.
I can look at myself anytime.
I really like to pay attention and focus on
the woman. And what do you do to focus on
her? Describe. Well I try to get as
much camera action at her as possible
and I'll tell you what. I love to see the
pussy on camera.
Maybe see Shay's pussy?
Yeah.
How about we vibrate her pussy?
Double. Oh yeah
you get one side I'll get the other.
That thing is strong.
Is it strong?
It's good.
What do you think about that Gene?
Does it turn you on?
I bet you want to fucking come all over this
tight little fucking pussy.
Come on Gene.
I'm gonna rub my pussy while you fuck her.
And her titties are bouncing as she shoves
her big cock in her fucking pussy.
You say you're gonna fucking come for him you think?
Oh come on Gene.
I'm gonna fucking come all over her pussy and I can lick it up baby.
Give it to me.
Come on Shay come with him.
That pussy tastes so good.
Doesn't it taste yummy?
Wow that
tastes really good.
Coming up next we have comic Eric Griffin
and adult director
Jim Powers. You don't want to miss it.
Stay tuned. We'll be right back.
Ta da!
Music
somebody's porn you might necessarily want to watch
or somebody else catches your porn
and you might not want them to watch it.
Yeah.
I mean like parents, yeah, hello, ew.
That'd be gross, right?
Well, Sophia has a story about catching her parents' tape
or something like that.
So let's just bring her over here and ask her.
Oh, Sophia, come tell us about this.
I'm a little nervous about this story.
Because I know you used to be a Sunday school teacher.
Woo, I'm so excited.
I love school, I love that.
Have a seat and tell us your story.
I'm a little nervous because the hair involves your parents.
Oh my gosh, I'm serious.
It's the most horrible thing ever.
I was sick one day and I was at home, it was Sunday,
and I was looking for my parents' Bible.
And my parents are very, very big Christians, you know.
No sex allowed, no MTV for crying out loud.
They don't own anything else.
So I go into their room and I look in their drawer
where it normally is.
Well, they move things.
So all of a sudden I find these videos
that, you know, aren't marked really, not big deal.
So I popped it in thinking it was a Christian video.
And next thing I know, they're getting their freak on.
They're probably, what they do and what they preach
are a little bit different.
Yeah, gives the meaning of Sunday service
a whole new meaning, right?
So you brought the tape with you.
Ew, I don't know if I wanna watch your parents, honey.
But, you know, I had to share my misery with you, okay?
Oh yeah, daddy, give it to her.
Oh my God.
Your mom's got nice nipples.
Oh, I don't wanna know that.
Yeah, your dad knows how to lick good twat.
Yeah, daddy.
Oh my goodness, I can't believe this.
Fuck me, fuck me, daddy.
Our parents are not supposed to do that stuff.
Why is your mom wearing a military outfit?
They're role playing.
I bet that's what it looks like when they meet you.
Yeah, my mom likes wearing my dad's clothes and stuff.
Really?
And dressing up, yeah.
That's what it looks like when you're conceived right there.
Oh my God.
They're like, you know.
Sadly enough, your dad has a big cock.
A saggy ass.
You know, that's just nasty.
I'm not supposed to see this stuff.
Yeah, you're not.
But you're watching it, you've got it.
It's like a train wreck.
It really is.
Oh my gosh.
Wow, good for you, mom and dad.
My mom and dad are freaks though.
Apparently their whole Christian thing ain't working.
Yeah.
It's a cover up.
On that one.
Yeah.
Oh, that's crazy.
I couldn't watch my mom and dad have sex.
Well the moral of that story is,
when you make your amateur porn, hide it.
And hide it good, don't just stick it in a drawer.
Like, put it in between your mattresses.
You don't wanna have your kids watch you bang.
Yeah.
Don't put it in the drawer where the Bible's supposed to go.
Yeah.
Or, yeah, no, nevermind.
Well, if you like amateur videos,
you can watch more naughty amateur home videos
on Playboy TV.
Yay.
It's good to watch it,
cause now that I see that, I'm gonna just.
You need to redeem yourself.
Yeah, yeah, exactly.
So we've got some tips, some do's and don'ts.
Okay.
For making amateur porn.
You know, well, let's just show you.
All right, let's watch it.
We'll show you what it is.
You got some things that you can do,
and some things you definitely shouldn't do.
And this is a do.
Do use a nice setting, like this.
See, it's outside, you've got some fucking,
what is that thing?
Plus I got a camera man.
I mean, you got a camera man, great lighting, that's hot.
That's a do.
Here's another do, a POV.
POV is perfect, you don't need a third person.
And you get the views from right there.
You can see the girl's eyes and her sucking your cock,
and you can watch through the video lens,
her sucking your cock, her titties bouncing on you,
and she's like, oh yeah, you want me to suck your cock?
And you have those eyes looking up at you like,
oh, I'm innocent, oh, I want you to come on my face
after I suck you off.
And POVs are great for guys
who don't want their face on camera.
True.
Because you don't see, all you see is the cock.
I mean, that could be anybody's cock.
True.
Really, you know?
You could show it to your friends.
You could, and be like, well, look what I found.
It's like this guy's getting his dick sucked.
Or you could say, hey, look at me getting my dick sucked.
Either way it works, so.
Yeah.
Let's show them some don'ts, shall we, Jessie?
Definitely do the don'ts.
The don'ts.
Dun, dun, dun, dun.
Do not do it in a dirty-ass shower with a hairy guy.
Ooh, that's just gross.
Well, not only that,
it's not that that area's not even attractive,
as you're such in a small, confined area.
How are you gonna get your grease on?
You can't move, you're like, oh.
Okay, now this one is a major don't.
Don't shoot a movie with a fucking nasty bush.
You got a jungle, it's not even a bush.
You need a weed whacker, honey.
Someone's gonna get lost in there.
He's gonna be like this, like digging through it.
And most importantly, when you shoot an amateur video,
make sure you have a full battery,
because you know what?
Oh, oh, I'm gonna come, and you didn't see it.
You didn't, and the money shot is the pop shot.
You wanna make sure you get that money shot.
It's the shot, it's not worth it
if you don't get to see you blow your load
on the girl's face or her ass.
Why do you feel like you wanna come on her, you know?
That's why it's called the money shot.
It's the most important part of the whole tape.
Yeah, I think so too.
Yeah. Yeah.
So you wanna know who I made an amateur porn with?
Who?
Our comic, Eric Griffin.
No, you didn't.
I didn't, you did not.
Did she?
Eric, did she?
Yes, night calls.
How you doing, everybody?
This is awesome.
This is how you do your job.
You have some pussy on the side.
That's how you're supposed to do it, man.
This is really awesome.
The only people I feel bad for
are the guys jacking off at home when I came out.
So they came out, it was like, oh yeah, oh.
Oh, what the hell is this?
Who the fuck is this guy?
And imagine if they were right about to come.
That'd be great, huh?
They're just like, oh, oh, oh.
I'm just curious, does amateur porn count
if it's a surveillance video at Victoria's Secret?
Was jacking off in the corner, you know what I mean?
Does that count?
I hope it counts, because that's a good amateur porn.
Don't act like you've never done that.
Come on, you people at home,
I know you've done that at home.
I made some with my girlfriend, too, though.
But see, I didn't have night calls to help me out
and show me how to do amateur porn.
I needed that, you understand?
Because I had the camera in the wrong place, bad lighting,
it was all on my ass the whole time.
And I got a hairy ass, people.
People think I'm from Narnia.
You understand what I'm saying?
I have a new plan, that's why I'm glad to be here at Playboy.
I have a new plan, okay?
I'm waiting for Hugh Hefner to give the mansion away
like Willy Wonka.
You know, I'm gonna find a golden centerfold,
some oompa loompas with big titties,
gonna show me around the mansion.
It's gonna be oompa loompa, oompa dee, ah.
They'll be like, I want one daddy, I want an oompa loompa
that looks just like that over there,
nice and sexy titties over there.
I don't miss my girlfriend though,
because she likes to talk too much.
Anybody had this problem?
They just talk, just talk, you know what I mean?
My girlfriend liked to talk on the phone all the time,
you know, like, hey, baby,
where are you?
I'm like, I'm outside.
I just left the house to go to the store.
That's me in the car, look outside.
Hey, babe, that's me.
Her favorite place to talk though?
In bed after sex, don't they like to talk about that?
They talk about nothing too, they just say,
hey, you know, sometimes I just think that you're,
you know, you're still slightly, I love you so much.
Don't you want to smother them with a pillow
when you finish?
She'll be like, shut your fucking hole in it, shut up!
It doesn't even matter, women are resilient,
they just keep talking, you know.
Sometimes I look at you and,
People, this is why I envy gay men, okay?
Wait, let me finish.
Because when they're done, they both go to sleep.
You understand?
I'm just like, you hooked my balls up.
Anyway, that's my time, my name's Derrick Griffin,
thank you very much.
Thank you!
You guys are awesome!
Where do I go?
I'm going to the bathroom.
Oh, you sexy thing, you, look at this.
Have a seat, have a cocktail.
Yes.
And you know who knows a lot about making adult movies?
Tell us.
My friend Jim Powers right here,
he's an award-winning adult movie director.
Yeah, I've tried a couple, four and a half years.
Why don't you come over here and tell us?
Me in place?
All right.
Yeah!
How are you?
Good to see you again.
Have a seat.
Okay.
All right, Jim, so you're a pro at making videos.
So I bet he has good tips to tell everybody out there
how to make an awesome home video.
But he has a movie, too.
A clip we have of him directing.
Totally.
So we can see the change.
I'll be yelling for my words, my PA.
Be ready with Dilma's, my penis is flying.
I like shooting lesbian movies
because it gives me a chance to break away
from the rough sex, the hard-edged sex,
the more perverted stuff.
If you guys could lift her up, that was really funny.
It's like a love swing.
Let her get in, then do the love swing on her.
That's good work.
Like Churchill said,
there's nothing to fear but fear itself.
Okay, go!
My small way, I'd like to give back to the girls' movement.
That's why I do the Violation Series.
As you're coming at her, just get to the button and stop.
That'll get your face, it'll go.
Ah!
It'll scream with that big thing and big eyes.
And charge!
Ah!
No.
Let's get it.
Whoa, whoa.
Thank you.
Yeah!
Did you really shove that up her ass?
That was in the violation, no.
Movie Magic, it did not really go up her ass.
Would have came out her mouth if it did.
It would have hurt.
Yeah, that's a lesbian line.
But wouldn't the girl be afraid
that one of the girls accidentally tripped
and then it really did shove up their ass?
I mean, that hurt.
That's a chance you take to make your art.
I'd be scared.
Like those girls would have some animosity towards me
and just like, ugh, like shove it up your ass.
I don't know.
Anyway.
That's half the fun, you wanna create that.
So why don't you give us some tips
on shooting your own part?
The best tip I can have is shoot a lot of it.
Just shoot a lot, if you're a guy, lots of girls.
And there's ways you can do this.
I suggest when you start, you know, hide the camera.
You hide cameras in the room.
That way you can do it during the day
so you can see things and you can practice opening up.
Because light, great lighting is wonderful,
but you need to be able to open up the camera
and hide the camera.
Right, so when you're hiding the cameras,
like shooting the videos when she doesn't even know,
like really raw and like really like, ooh.
That's half the fun.
When I was in college, we used to have a friend
who would hide in the closet and film,
or we'd switch off.
You know, that's a good way to start.
You have a buddy.
That's hot.
Don't you think she's gonna like kind of figure it out
when you're like, all right, baby,
and you're holding there in this like weird angle.
Wait, wait, wait.
I need to move you one more inch.
One more inch, right, yeah, right there.
Okay, yeah.
Alcohol, always get the girls drunk too.
When you first start out an amateur,
it's the best way to start.
Yeah.
That's what I did.
Did you start out an amateur?
When I started, yeah, I actually started out,
did a couple of amateurs.
I was going to swing parties, you know,
that's how I started in this business, 16 years ago.
Really?
So you went to swing parties and you filmed yourself
and other people see who would be.
My wife and me would bring a couple home
and we'd go to their place and film them.
You know, but porn's starting, you know,
shooting amateurs, like I said,
you want good lighting and you just wanna be able
to see everything and it's a lot of practice.
You gotta shoot a lot of it.
So do you have porn out there with you on it?
Cause I really wanna see it.
I wanna see porn with you in it.
Oh yeah, there is somewhere.
Yeah, you made your own porn.
Is it like amateur home porn
or is it like real hardcore porn?
No, these were amateur home porn.
Well, if I have one, you think you can like send me one?
So I wanna see it.
Come on over and you can see it.
The best way, also shooting amateurs, I think,
for guys is have another, you know,
best way to start a menage-a-trois
is if you're shooting an amateur,
have your girlfriend or wife or whatever
bring over another girl.
And that's the best way is you get the girls going together.
You know, even if that girl had no intention of fucking you,
you get videotaping them
cause that's why there is such a thing as lesbian sex
is so the guy can join in.
And you know, you have a couple of girls there
and you're videotaping them and usually you can join in.
So practice shooting a couple of girls together too.
That's a great idea.
It's a good way.
It is a good idea.
Little tips on my career.
Tips, little tips.
Jim, we have a camera.
We could start a threesome here
or a girl-girl or whatever you'd like.
Let's shoot it, I'll shoot a couple of girls.
We have lots of girls.
Come here.
Let's do it.
We have a lot of girls.
These girls, Hannah and Samantha Ryan, are super hot.
So maybe let's, you know,
direct them in an amateur girl-girl scene.
Okay, this is what I would do.
Okay.
Here you go, baby.
Take your camera.
Make sure all the lights are on.
Hi girls, I'm Jim.
You're-
Hannah.
Samantha Ryan.
Hannah and Samantha.
Jim Powers here.
Okay.
Now the first thing you want to do
when two girls, you have them together
and you're shooting your own movie,
start with a kiss.
Everybody loves watching girls kiss each other.
And deep, deep tongues.
There you go.
Yeah, get the tongue in there.
Yeah.
Nice.
Now Samantha, I want you to work your way down
to Hannah's kitties.
Come on down her chest.
Oh, there you go.
Lick the titties.
Nice.
Never forget the nipples when you're filming people.
Yeah, there you are.
We don't have a lot of time.
Let's start working your way down to her pussy.
Arch your head back, Hannah.
Jim, you want a phone call while you're doing this?
Yeah, give me a phone call.
Somebody to talk to.
I think we have Amy from Florida.
What's up, Amy?
Hi, Desi.
You want to talk to Jim?
Can I tell him what to do?
Absolutely.
Please do, Amy.
Jim, I want to see a little bit of hair pulling.
Ooh, very nice.
Hannah, why don't you reach down,
grab Samantha's toy right in your cunt.
Jam that tongue home.
There you go.
Deep in there, baby.
The back of the tongue.
Oh, that's so good.
Can you do some ass slapping?
I love that.
Hannah, why don't you slap Samantha's ass?
Arch your ass for us, Samantha.
Oh, that's, oh.
Oh my God, that's amazing.
Hit it hard so you can hear that ass.
Cup the hand and whack it.
I want to see them kiss again,
and I want to see them kiss again.
Keep on kissing, girls.
Oh, that's, oh my God, that's so good.
Got the kiss.
Hannah, why don't you crawl around,
go doggy style for Samantha.
Oh, God.
Let's see your kissy.
Oh, we got you.
It's the same ones eating.
We'll get a little bit of this, but we got you.
Will you, I want her to pull her hair.
You ever pull her hair?
Reach back, Samantha, pull Sam's hair.
There you go.
Oh, God.
I'm totally going to get off.
Oh my God.
Very nice.
Get in there deep.
That's so hot.
Oh my God.
Fuck.
How are you doing on the phone?
Woo.
Great job, Jim.
Jim?
Jim, that was some sexy ass shit.
Oh my God.
All right, stay tuned, because coming up next,
we've got a new spirit rhino stripper
and our own talking pussy, the Horacle.
Woo.
I want to dance.
I'll take you by the hand.
You'll die.
I'm with me.
Don't fear to be dead.
Underneath the sunset.
Tonight it's you and me.
I'll take you back.
To how it used to be.
I'll take you back.
Underneath the sunset.
Tonight it's you and me.
I'll take you back.
To how it used to be.
I'll take you back.
Tonight.
Woo.
Welcome back to Night Calls.
And as you can see, I'm with a hot girl right here.
What's your name, baby?
Bianca.
Hi, Bianca.
Do you dance as spirit rhino?
I do.
Which location?
At the Van Nuys spirit rhino.
Really?
Mm-hmm.
You're pretty hot.
Thank you.
Thank you for showing our audience and everybody out
there what you can do.
Not at all.
Thanks, baby.
Woo.
She's walking away from even worse than before.
Waking up her pills as she's scarred.
Dressed as a substitute to deal with her pain.
I hear she's heavy-backed from her pain.
She says she's got to stay away from digging.
She's gotta run from all the people she knows.
They're gonna tell me all I know about the beautiful things
that she's wasting.
Welcome back, everyone.
Our topic tonight is amateur porn, how to make your own,
and what to do with it once you make it, basically.
Well, lots of things.
We've got a lot of tips.
Get the girl drunk, hide the tape, only make one copy.
Keep that copy.
Keep the copy.
And even hidden video cameras, which is really kind of kinky.
Yeah, that is kinky.
Well, you know, I think we know someone who might have
some good tips for us.
I think we might.
You want to conjure up the horacle with me?
Yes.
Oh, horacle.
Here she comes.
Hi, Horacle.
Hi, Jesse.
Hi, Kirsten.
How are you?
You look beautiful today.
I'm very well.
You girls look lovely, too.
You're a sexy horacle.
She's a sexy horacle, let me tell you.
Yeah, you know, Horacle, we have been talking about making
amateur porn today, and we've pretty much run out of tips
for everyone.
Do you have any tips that we can give our audience?
I do have a tip.
One thing you girls haven't mentioned yet is the solo
masturbation amateur video.
Oh, that's great.
Very good.
So if you're in a long distance relationship, you can save
yourself masturbating and send it to your partner.
That's a great tip, Horacle.
You are so wise and beautiful.
Have you done that?
I have done a solo masturbation.
Really?
Yes.
Can we see you master me, Horacle?
Of course.
Oh, that's hot.
Yeah, I got to see this.
Oh, Horacle, you are just the hottest fucking little bitch.
You have great lips.
Look at the lips on that horacle.
Yeah.
I want her to have beautiful eyes, nice, wet, juicy lips.
Oh, yeah, Horacle.
Oh, there it is.
Oh, Horacle, look at your eye vibrating.
It's going crazy.
Oh, yeah.
This is making me horny.
Totally.
Come on, Horacle.
Yes, can I keep this tape when we're done?
I want this in my personal collection.
Horacle, that's it.
Oh, fuck yourself.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, Horacle.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, good work.
I think the horacle just came.
I think she did.
Wow.
Oh, the horacle needs a smoke.
Thank you, Horacle.
Wow.
She's very wise.
She's all knowing even.
Hey, girls, do you guys want to come down to the couch
and take a call with us?
Yeah.
Come on, girls.
Yeah, good idea.
I want all the bitches on my couch.
Good idea.
Good plan.
All right, ladies.
Come on.
Come here.
Bring your cock with you, Daisy.
We might need that.
We got Dan on the phone from Ohio.
Dan, hi.
How you doing, girls?
Look at all our bitches.
Well, look.
So many women.
Who to choose?
So, Dan.
Fuck all of us.
Oh, you are going to fuck us all, Dan?
If you guys can take it.
Oh, we can take it?
Oh, come on, Dan.
Whip out that big cock.
Oh, shit, here it is.
What are you going to do with it, Daisy?
Shay, what are you going to do with this cock?
Fuck the shit out of it.
Yeah.
Fuck the cum out of it.
Fuck the cum out of his cock.
Jassy, what are you going to do to him?
Oh, I want to feel it ram to my pussy.
Oh, yeah.
Samantha, what are you going to do to Dan?
I want to shove it down my throat as far as you'll go.
How about you, Kirsten?
I want to stick that big fat cock right in my tight little ass.
Yeah.
And then, Dan, I'm going to whip it out and suck it off and taste Kirsten's ass from you
and suck your balls at the same time.
Daisy?
Oh, I'm going to deep throw and make me gag.
Take it, take it all, take it all.
Oh, honey, I want to catch every little drop of that cum.
Are you hearing that?
Are you going to cum in her mouth, Dan?
Oh, you know it.
Yeah, come on, Dan.
Cum in her mouth and let me lick it off her lips.
Cum in Sophia's mouth.
Oh, fuck.
Dan, do you have a favorite?
Who's your favorite?
Oh, Daisy, what's up, girls?
Daisy, what's up, girls?
Oh, yeah.
Come on, Dan, fuck Daisy.
Stick your big cock in her ass.
Come on.
Tell her flip around, Dan.
Flip around, honey.
Come on, Dan, stick it in her ass.
Stick it in.
Yeah, you stick in that big cock in there in her tight little ass.
And you're fucking her so hard, your balls are banging against her ass,
and you're going to fucking cum all over.
Easy, yeah, there you go, baby.
Yeah, spread that ass.
Come on, Dan.
All right.
Oh, wow.
Awesome.
Woo, that's a pretty big one.
Wow.
That sounded like it was a big one.
Well, thanks to all of our guests, our fan never heard of it.
Our strippers.
And all of our hot girls.
Black bed calls every Friday.
Good night.
Woo!
My head is telling me what I'm fighting for.
Do you have a reason?
Let me turn you inside out.
If you're inside out, I've been here before.
The first time I've seen me wall the door.
It's turning and bringing me back to you.
I walk into your corner store.
I'm trying to make it through the night.
Whoa, whoa.
Toys on Night Calls were provided by Doc Johnson,
the world's largest manufacturer of adult toys and novelties.
Visit DocJohnson.com.
I'm losing energy.
I'm going anywhere.
Tell me what you want.
If you want to see more of Jesse, go to JesseJane.com.
Or to get Jesse's exclusive digital playground movies,
go to Spicetvstore.com.
Tell me what you're waiting for.
I'll tell you that I'm leaving.
Leaving while I'm inside out.
You turn me inside out.
Don't take your poison anymore.
My light is my cigarette burning.
Two whiskey bottles on the floor.
I'm trying to make it through the night.
Whoa, whoa.
I'm getting stuck on the drink in your hands.