在我年幼之时 就已无法挽回了 Very early in my life it was too late.
在我18岁时 就已为时已晚了 At 18, it was already too late.
18岁时 我成熟了 At 18, I aged.
这种成熟很残忍 This aging was brutal.
这种成熟 我看着它散布我全身 This aging, I saw it spread over my features...
一点一点地 one by one.
我却没有惧怕 Instead of being frightened by it...
我以某种兴趣 I saw this aging of my face...
看着我成熟的面庞 with the same sort of interest...
这种兴趣 比如说 I might have taken, for example...
我在看一本书时一样 in the reading of a book.
那种表情 我保留了下来 That new face, I kept it.
同样的轮廓 It's kept the same contours...
不同的是 内在早已面目全非 but its matter is destroyed.
我有一张面目全非的脸 I have a destroyed face.
让我来告诉你吧 Let me tell you again.
那时我15岁半 I'm 15 1/2.
正乘坐渡船穿越湄公河 It's the crossing of a ferry on the Mekong.
看看我啊 Look at me.
我才15岁半 I'm 15 1/2.
就是在那渡河的时候 It's the crossing of the river.
我回西贡时 When I go back to Saigon...
就像是一次旅行一样 it's as though I'm on a journey...
尤其是坐汽车时 especially when I take the bus.
那天 是假期最后一天 That day, it's the end of the school holidays.
我不记得是哪个假了 I don't remember which one.
我回到Sa-Dec我妈妈简陋的房子里 I went to spend it in Sa-Dec with my two brothers...
和我的两兄弟住一起 in my mother's tight house...
就在那所简陋的小学后面 behind the bush school...
充满恐怖的Sa-Dec房子里 in the horror of the Sa-Dec house.
大块的是我的 The big pieces are mine.
为什么就是你的? Why yours?
因为本该如此 Because that's the way it is.
你怎么不去死 I wish you'd die.
Paul?
Paulo?
Paul 回床上睡吧 Paul, come to bed.
不要再害怕了 You mustn't be afraid anymore:
别怕Pierre 别怕任何事 Not of Pierre, not of anything.
永远不要 知道吗 Never again, you know.
永远 Never again.
他回来了吗? He came back?
我看见他在阳台上 I see him on the balcony...
大晚上的睡在外面 sleeping in the night outside...
不想回自己房间 doesn't want to go to his room.
他太怕Pierre了 He's too scared of Pierre.
他在外面我才害怕呢 Me, it's when he's outside that I'm afraid.
我怕他就那样走了 I'm afraid he'll leave like that.
他会走丢的 He'll get lost.
他那样的孩子 常有的事 It can happen with that kind of child.
不是的 That's not true.
你不是为Paul担心 You're not afraid for Paul.
你是担心Pierre You're only afraid for Pierre.
你为什么这么爱他 Why is it that you love him so much...
而永远也不爱我们? and not us...never?
三个孩子我一样爱 I love all three of my children the same.
不是的 不是的! That's not true. It's not true!
回答我! 你为什么这么爱他 Answer! Why is it that you love him so much...
不爱我们? and not us?
我也不知道为什么 I don't know why.
昨天 Yesterday...
我写信给西贡 I wrote to Saigon...
请求吧Pierre遣送回国 to ask for Pierre's repatriation.
什么? What?
我要把他送回法国 I'm sending him back to France.
你满意了? You're happy?
他又在鸦片馆偷鸦片了 He stole at the opium den again.
我再也承担不起了 I can't pay any longer.
结束了 It's over.
再也不可能了 It's not possible anymore.
妈 快 我要赶不上车了 Mom, hurry up, or I'll miss the bus.
再见 Paulo Bye, Paulo.
保重 Take care.
知道了 妈 Yes, Mom.
你什么时候回来? When are you coming back?
大斋期(基督教节日)前一天 我和你说过了 For Mardi Gras. I already told you.
我忘了 Oh. I forgot.
就是那一天 So that day...
我要回西贡 I'm going back to Saigon.
我穿着舞鞋 戴着一顶男士帽子 I'm wearing my cabaret shoes and my man's hat.
那时在殖民地 没有女人 No woman, no young girl wears a man's fedora...
或是小姑娘 会戴一顶男士帽子 in that colony in those days.
当地女人也不会 No native woman, either.
那顶帽子 我从来不离身 That hat, I never leave it.
我戴着那顶帽子 I have that, this hat.
就让我完整了 That all by itself makes me whole.
我从来不离身 I'm never without it.
就是在湄公河支河上 So it's the crossing...
of one of the branches of the Mekong...
从SaDec到永隆的渡船上 on the ferry that's between Vinh Long and Sa-Dec...
在印度支那南部 那鱼米之乡的大平原上 in the great plains of mud and rice...
of southern Indochina...
在那鱼鸟成群的大平原上 the plain of the birds.
打扰了 小姐 你抽烟吗? Excuse me, mademoiselle. Do you smoke?
不 谢谢 No, thank you.
抱歉 I'm sorry.
只是一个白种姑娘坐当地的汽车 It's so surprising...
太令人吃惊了 a young white girl on a native bus.
我喜欢你的帽子 很有风格 I like your hat. It's original...
年轻姑娘戴着男士帽子 a man's hat on a young girl.
你这么漂亮 And you're pretty.
想怎么样都行 You can do anything you like.
你是哪位? You're who?
- 我住在永隆 - 永隆哪? -I live in Vinh Long. -Where in Vinh Long?
外围的河上 有露台的大房子 On the river just outside. The big house with the terraces.
蓝色墙面的那栋? The blue stone one?
是的 Yes.
那是中国的房子 It's a Chinese house.
我是中国人 I am Chinese.
中国人 Chinese.
他就是那些拥有殖民地众多房产 He's from that financial minority...
的少数有钱人之一 that owns all the popular housing of the colony.
他刚从巴黎回来 He's back from Paris...
在那学习经济 where he undertook some business studies.
他就是那天 He's the one...
渡湄公河去西贡的那个人 who was crossing the Mekong that day...
towards Saigon.
如果你愿意 我可以载你去西贡 If you want, I can drive you to Saigon.
你认识她吗? Do you know her?
她是执行官的太太 She's the administrator's wife...
Stretter太太 Anne-Marie Mrs. Stretter, Anne-Marie.
想吃吗? Do you want one?
恩 谢谢 Yes, thank you.
据说有个年轻人为他自杀了 Is it true, that story about the young man...
是真的吗? who killed himself for her?
不知道 Don't know.
是真的 Yes, it's true.
就在琅勃拉邦的市场上 On the marketplace at Louang Prabang...
她走的那天 the day she left.
他是她的情人 He was her lover.
我抽烟你不介意吧? The smoke doesn't bother you?
在车里 I mean, in here?
不 No, not at all.
你在西宫中学上学? You're at Saigon High School?
是的 但我住在别处 Yes, but I sleep elsewhere...
在利奥泰的寄宿公寓 at the Lyautey Boardinghouse.
你喜欢上学吗? Do you like studying?
恩 我觉得很有意思 Yes. I find it interesting.
你上几年级? What grade are you in?
高二 11th.
那你 And you're...
嗯 17岁 uh...17.
你呢? And you?
32...
无业 and jobless.
还是中国人 还有呢 And Chinese, what's more.
是啊 还有呢 What's more...yes.
你这么说时真美 You look so beautiful when you say that.
自从我母亲死后 我父亲就成日睡在床上 Since my mother's death, my father has lived on his cot.
鸦片从不离手 He never leaves his opium pipe...
几乎都不吃东西了 and he nearly doesn't eat anymore.
我用于无法理解那种吸引力 I never guessed the depth of their fondness.
10年了 There it's been 10 years...
他就那样在床上打理生意 that's he's taken care of his business like that...
from his bed.
他经常盯着河看 你懂的 He stares at the river, you see.
我懂 I see.
是啊 我想念巴黎 Yes, I miss Paris--
那些派对 the parties,
在Montparnasse的夜晚 the evenings in Montparnasse...
法兰西学院 the coupole.
你知道法兰西学院吗? Do you know the coupole?
我去过法国一次 I went to France once.
在靠近比利时边境的北部 It was in the north, near the Belgian border.
我只知道这里 湄公河 西贡 I only know here-- the Mekong, Saigon.
你喜欢西贡吗? You like Saigon?
是的 我喜欢西贡 Yes, I like Saigon.
我也喜欢西贡 最喜欢中国城 I like Saigon, too. Cholon above all.
中国城 就和中国一样 Cholon, it's like China.
我到了 That's it. It's here.
再见 Good-bye.
你比以前来得早 You got here earlier than usual.
我在渡船上认识一个人 他开车送我来的 I met someone on the ferry. He drove me here.
一个中国男人 A Chinaman.
Helene是寄宿公寓里 Helene is the only other white girl...
唯一的另一个白种人 in the boardinghouse.
她无拘无束 Helene, she is immodest.
她自己都没发现 She doesn't realize.
她在宿舍里都是光着身子的 She walks naked in the dormitory.
她不知道她很美丽 She doesn't know that she's very beautiful.
她天真无邪 She's innocent...
享受着青春 lingering on in youth.
对了 我忘了和你说了 Hey, I forgot to tell you something.
有个女孩 There's a girl...
助教发现她 the assistant mistresses found her...
她晚上在墙后面做妓女 she was a prostitute every evening...
behind the wall.
都没人发现 Nobody noticed anything.
- 谁啊? - Alice -Who? -Alice.
她和谁做呢? Alice? Who's she going with like that?
随便是谁 只要有人路过 Anybody, people walking by.
这对我总是有吸引力 It's always appealed to me.
什么? What?
和你不认识的男人出去 To go with men you don't know.
你甚至看不见他们 毫不知情 You don't even see them. Nothing.
你永远不会看见他们的脸 You'll never know their face.
你觉得我们都想这样吗? Do you think we're all like that?
是的 我觉得助教也想 Yes. The assistant mistresses, too.
每个女人都想 Every woman.
其实 我宁愿做妓女 Actually, I'd rather be a prostitute...
也不想照顾麻风病人 than take care of lepers.
你说什么呢? What are you talking about again?
大家都这么说 That's what everybody says here.
他们说是让我们学习 They say they want us to study...
其实不是事实 but it's not true.
他们让我们寄宿 They take us into boarding...
是想把我们送去病区 so they can send us to the lazarets...
照顾麻风病人 还有那些得瘟疫的 with the lepers, the plague-stricken...
得霍乱的 the cholera-ridden.
我宁愿做妓女 I'd rather be a prostitute.
那那些男人可有福了 They'd be lucky, those men.
我是斗牛士 你是公牛 I'm the matador. You are the bull.
眼睛正视 肩膀水平 Eyes on one level. Shoulders straight.
1...
2...
3...4...
5...6.
看我左肩 Look over my left shoulder...
挺背 手臂收紧 提臀 back out, arms locked, bottom in.
And 1 and 2 and 3 and 4...
and 5 and 6 and 7 and 8.
And 1 and 2 and 3 and 4.
5, 6, 7, 8.
那个假期过得非常快 It happened very quickly that day, a holiday...
一个周四 a Thursday.
他周四下午来了 He came that Thursday afternoon...
来到寄宿公寓 to the boardinghouse.
他坐在大黑车里等她 He came to wait for her with the big black car.
那时刚过中午 It's early in the afternoon...
午睡时间 the time of the siesta.
我们去了中国城 It's in Cholon...
的小过道里 in the alleyways of Cholon...
混杂着汤 烤肉 in the smell of soup, roast meat...
茉莉花 灰尘 烧煤的味道 jasmine, dust, charcoal fire...
中国城的味道 in the smell of the Chinese town.
请进 Please.
家具不是我挑的 I...l didn't choose the furniture.
我父亲买的 It's--it's my father, bought me this.
中国有钱的公子都有很多情人 Young, rich Chinese have mistresses...
这就是单身公寓 and they call this the bachelor's room.
你有很多情人吗? Do you have many mistresses?
你喜欢我有很多情人吗? Do you like the idea of me having mistresses?
是的 我喜欢 Yes, I do.
你跟我来这 So you followed me here...
就像你会跟随任何人走一样 as you would have followed anyone.
我也不知道 I wouldn't know.
我没和任何人进房间过 I've never followed anyone into a room yet.
我怕 I'm...I'm afraid...
我怕爱上你 I'm afraid of loving you.
听着 我们走吧 以后有时间再来 Listen, we'll leave. We'll come back some other time.
我宁愿你不爱我 Well, I'd rather you didn't love me.
我想你对我像对其他女人一样 I want you to do as you usually do with other women.
你想那样? Is that what you want?
是的 Yes.
我知道你永远不会爱我 I know you'll never love me.
我 I...
我不知道 I don't know.
我不想听你说话 I don't want you to talk.
就像你平时一样吧 Just do as usual.
他褪去了她的裙子 He tore the dress off.
和她的白色棉内裤 He tore the little white underpants off...
他就那样把她一丝不挂得抱上了床 and he carried her like that...
naked, to the bed.
可是一上床 Once on the bed...
一阵恐惧就向他袭来 fear overcomes him.
我办不到 I can't.
他说这不是真爱 He says it's not true...
她太小了 that she's too little...
他不能这么做 that he can't do such a thing.
所以 So...
她主动了 So she's the one who does it.
她紧闭双眼 Her eyes closed...
褪去他的衣裳 she undresses him...
解开一粒一粒扣子 button by button...
褪去两袖 sleeve by sleeve.
她抚摸着他的肌肤 The skin.
抚摸着那肌肤The skin.
那肌肤光滑无比 The skin is of a sumptuous softness.
细嫩通透 The body is hairless...
没有任何男性的野性 without any virility at all...
other than that of the sex.
她没有直视他 She doesn't look him in the face.
她不停地抚摸他 She touches him.
她触摸着异性柔嫩的肌肤 She touches the softness of the sex...
of the skin.
她抚摸着那未知领域的新奇玩意 She caresses the golden hue...
the unknown novelty.
我还能想象到那地方的杂乱无章 I still see the place of distress...
shipwrecked...
污秽的墙壁 the distempered walls...
百叶窗围起来的火炉 the slatted shutters giving up to the furnace.
沸腾的热血 the soiling of the blood.
我记得相当清晰 I remember well.
房子里一片漆黑 The room is dark.
被永远不会停息的城镇的喧嚣 It's surrounded by...
the never-ending clamor of the town...
又随着人流在这镇子里消逝 carried away by the town...
by the flow of the town.
我的身体就这样暴露在市井喧闹中 My body was in that public noise...
被来来往往的嘈杂一览无遗 this passing by from the outside...
exposed.
大海 我想着 The sea, I thought...
浩瀚无比 the immensity.
你在想什么呢? What are you thinking about?
植物都死了 They're dead.
弄疼你了吗? Did it hurt you?
没有 No.
你伤心吗? Are you sad?
是的 Yes, I guess.
有点吧 A little.
我也不知道 I don't know.
是因为我们在白天做爱 It's because we've made love during the daytime...
在这死寂的热浪中 in the dead of the heat.
不是 No.
是我自己 It's me.
我总会有点伤感 I'm always a little sad.
像我妈一样 I'm like my mother.
当我告诉她我想当一个作家时 When I told her I'd be a writer...
她耸了耸肩 she shrugged.
她说那不是工作 She said it's not work...
这个想法太幼稚 it's a childish idea.
她想让我学数学 像她一样 She wants me to do maths, my mother does...
赚钱 to earn money.
你想写什么? What do you want to write?
书 Books.
小说 Novels...
写我哥哥 about my elder brother...
写我怎么杀了他 to kill him...
让他置身于痛苦中 to see him in pain...
让他去死 to make him die.
写我弟弟 写如何去拯救他 About my younger brother to save him.
写这些 And about that--
还有我母亲的悲伤 about my mother's sadness.
缺钱 羞辱 About the lack of money, about shame.
我知道你母亲的不幸 I know the bad luck with your mother...
和她的悲惨生活 and the tragedies she's lived.
你怎么知道? How do you know?
通过下人 Through the servants.
我的司机 Through my driver.
通过下人什么都能知道 You know everything through the servants.
我也知道你哥哥 I know about your elder brother, too.
我在河边的鸦片馆见过他 I met him in the opium dens along the riverside.
他抽得太多了 He smokes too much.
太多太多了 Much too much.
白人不懂怎么去抽 The whites don't know how to smoke.
他就是个禽兽 He's an animal.
他让我害怕 He scares me.
他为了抽鸦片偷我妈妈钱 He steals from my mother to go smoke.
他还偷下人的钱 He steals from the servants.
我妈妈从来不说他 My mother never says anything.
她最喜欢他 He's her favorite.
父亲死了以后 家里就没钱了 Since my father died, there's no money in the house.
我母亲失去了一切 My mother lost everything here.
她做了错误的选择 She made all the wrong choices.
那你们怎么过活的? So how do you manage?
我们竭尽所能 We do the best we can.
不知羞耻地 We're shameless.
竭尽所能 We do the best we can.
你来这是因为我有钱吗? Did you come here because I've got money?
我不知道 I don't know.
我来因为我喜欢你 I came because I liked you.
如果我穷你会喜欢我吗? Would you like me if I were poor?
我就喜欢这样的你 I like you the way you are...
有钱的你 with your money.
我想带你走 I want to...
take you away.
我想带你远走高飞 I'd like to take you away...
和你离开这里 leave with you.
我还不能离开我妈妈 I can't leave without my mother yet.
我太小了 I'm too little.
我不能离开我妈妈还有我弟弟 I can't leave my mother nor my little brother.
现在还不能 Not yet.
我求他做了一次又一次 I had asked him to do it again and again.
对我做 To do it to me.
他做了又做 He had done it.
他热血沸腾得做着 He had done it in the unctuousness of blood.
我想他都习惯了 I think he's used to it.
他就是这样活着的 This is what he does in life--
除了去爱 别无他求 Love. Nothing else.
我很有幸 I'm very lucky.
显然 就像这是他的职业一样 Obviously, it's as if it were a profession he'd have.
他上着我 He's on me...
他又一次沉浸其中 he engulfs himself again.
我们就这样躺在床上 We stay like that, nailed...
在城镇的嘈杂声中呻吟着 moaning in the clamor of the town.
知道吗 You see...
你这辈子都会记得今天下午 you'll remember this afternoon all your life...
即使你忘记我的面孔 even if you've forgotten my face...
我的名字 my name:
你觉得我会记得这个房间吗? Do you think I'll remember the room?
好好看看 Take a good look at it.
没什么特别的 It's like anywhere.
就是 That's it.
就如往常一样 It's like always.
我好奇我哪来的力量 I wonder how I found the strength...
如此平静得对待这禁忌只是 to go against the forbidden with this calm...
这种决心 this determination...
我如何成功地坚持了下来 how I succeeded in going all the way...
to the end of the idea.
我如何如此享受 How could I have taken so much pleasure...
和这个陌生男人单独在一起 for me alone with this unknown man?
我妈妈 My mother...
如果她知道真相 会杀了我的 she'll kill me if she finds out the truth.
我哥哥 会杀了你 My brother, he'd kill you.
想想啊 Imagine...
和一个中国男人 with a Chinaman.
我小时候 Since I've been little...
她就告诉我在殖民地 she tells me that here in the colonies...
女孩如果不是处女 a girl that isn't a virgin anymore...
就找不到老公 can no longer find a husband.
是真的吗? Do you think that's true?
是的 你妈妈说得对 Yes. Your mother's right.
在那之后就不可能了 It's no longer possible after that--
那很丢脸 that dishonor.
比如说 For instance...
如果我想娶你 if I wanted to marry you...
没人会认同的 well, it would not be allowed.
我们绝不认同这种想法 We can't tolerate the idea of that.
我是中国人 I'm Chinese.
很抱歉 I'm sorry.
你已经和我做过了 Now that you've done that with me...
婚姻对我们来说就不再可能了 marriage between us would be impossible.
那就最好了 Well, then, it's for the best, then.
中国人 我不怎么喜欢中国人 Chinese--I don't like Chinese very much.
Hey.
我能去你床上吗? Can I come into your bed?
不 现在不行 No, not now.
我明天再告诉你 I'll tell you about it tomorrow.
怎么了? 出什么事了? What's wrong? What's the matter?
她怎么会在那辆车里? What's she doing in that new car there?
Hello.
等等 Wait. Wait.
别害羞 很出色的报告 Don't be bashful. It's a wonderful report.
她是唯一的继承人 我也是 She's the sole heiress, and I'm the sole heir.
日子很多年前就定好了 The date has been set for years.
也是我从法国回来的另一个原因 That's another reason I came back from France.
- 你爱她? - 不 -You love her? -No.
我都不认识她 I don't know her.
对我们来说 For us...
婚姻是家族包办的 marriages are arranged by the families.
我知道我们的未来是不可想象的 We know that a future together is unthinkable...
所以我们自然地 so we speak of the future...
谈论着未来 in a casual manner...
不参杂任何个人情感 without any involvement, detached.
两个家族结合 And the two families got together...
掩盖他们的财富 to hide their wealth away.
这也是古代和现代中国的习俗 It's so much the customs of ancient...
or modern China.
我们也没想过会有别的方式 We don't think we could do anything any other way.
他从来没工作过 He's never had a job.
他说如果他很穷 He says that if he was poor...
就会很糟 it would be terrible.
他太懒了不想工作 He'd be much too lazy to work.
鸦片夺去了他的力气 It's opium that takes away the strength.
不是 No.
是财富 It's wealth that takes his strength away.
他什么都不做 He does nothing.
什么都不做 Nothing.
只是爱 Only love.
有趣的是 But it's funny...
因为这样 我才想要他 because that's the way I desire him.
你还爱我吗? Do you still love me?
我们是情人 We are lovers.
每天我们都会去他的单身公寓 Every day we go back to the bachelor's room.
我们一刻不停地做爱 We can't stop loving.
每天晚上 This takes place...
在中国城的低俗街道上 in the sleazy district of Cholon every evening.
每天晚上 Every evening...
小女孩都回来接受恩泽 the little one comes to receive the pleasure...
这个黄种男人让她尖叫着 that makes one scream from this dark man...
这个从中国城来的男人 this man from Cholon...
中国来的 from China.
Hi, Mom.
Hi, Paul.
我会时不时得会SaDec的家里 Now and then I go back to the house in Sa-Dec...
回来SaDec的恐怖中 to the horror of the house in Sa-Dec.
真是个无法忍受的地方 It's an unbearable place.
临近死亡的地方 It's close to death...
充满着暴力 a place of violence...
痛苦 绝望 羞耻 of pain, of despair, of dishonor.
我不准你摔门 I forbid you to slam doors!
听见了吗? Do you hear me?
谁送你从西贡回来的 Who drove you back from Saigon?
我和你说 一个朋友 住在永隆的 I told you. A friend. He lives in Vinh Long.
他顺路送我过来 He offered to drop me off on his way through.
他只是个朋友 He's a friend! That's all.
永隆的谁? Who in Vinh Long?
你又不认识她 You wouldn't know him.
他刚从巴黎回来 He just got back from Paris.
一个朋友 有钱朋友 A friend. A rich friend.
不是每个人都这么穷的 Not everybody's lucky enough to be poor.
这个 And this...
这是什么? what's this?
一张蓝纸 A piece of blue paper.
寄宿公寓的电报 It's a telegram from the boardinghouse.
你周二周三睡哪的? Where did you sleep Tuesday and Wednesday?
我周二周三睡哪了? Where did I sleep Tuesday and Wednesday?
不在寄宿公寓 Not at the boardinghouse.
电扇坏了 The fans were out of order.
我和我永隆的朋友睡一起 I slept with my friend from Vinh Long.
你希望我这么回答吗? Is that what you want me to say?
打她 妈妈 Hit her, Mom.
别让她这么嚣张 Don't let her get away with it.
但就这在阴暗的家里 But it's in this family's dryness...
如此窘困之中 in its incredible harshness...
我是如此的深信 that I am the most deeply assured of myself...
我内心深处坚信 in the deepest of my essential certainties.
我们荒废羞耻爱恨的历史 Our common history of ruin and shame...
都流淌在了我的血肉中 of love and hate, is in my flesh.
你女儿跟个婊子似的 Your daughter looks like a whore.
蠢蛋 别打了 Hey, dummy, stop that shooting!
我还在这个家中 I am still in this family.
这个 除其他地方之外 This is, barring all other places...
我住得地方 where I live.
那是你的裙子 妈妈 That was your dress, Mom.
鞋子是你给我买的 The shoes, you bought them for me.
我都穿了好几个月了 I've been wearing them for months.
打折的 记得吗? 最后折扣 They were on sale, remember? Final reductions.
你故意的 You do it on purpose.
让我看看因为你我的窘迫 See what a state I'm in because of you?
好像能让你开心一样 It's as though it makes you happy.
如果你不再信任我了 If you don't trust me anymore...
就别让我住寄宿公寓 just take me out of the boardinghouse.
再说 又不是我想一个人 Besides, I'm not the one who asked to be all alone...
在西贡这么多年 all year long in Saigon.
母亲有时会非常非常开心 The mother can be very, very happy sometimes...
那段遗忘的时光 the time to forget.
打扫庭院 That of washing the house...
就足够让母亲开心起来 may suffice for my mother's happiness.
她边弹边唱 边扫边笑 She plays the piano, she cleans, she laughs...
大家都想 and everyone thinks...
住在这突然变成沼泽的破房子里 that one can be happy in this gutted house...
人也能开心活着吗 that suddenly becomes a swamp...
那块河边的田地里 a field alongside a river...
那片浅滩 沙滩 a ford, a beach.
尊敬的女士 My respects, madame.
我的母亲 My mother...
我哥哥Pierre my brother Pierre...
弟弟Paul and my brother Paul.
周六晚上人多 On Saturday night they are busy.
要鸡尾酒吗 先生? Will you be having a cocktail, sir?
三杯鸡尾酒 一瓶米酒 Yes. Three Martel-Perriers and a bottle of rice wine.
我们离开中国时孙中山宣布成立共和国 We left China when Sun Yat-sen decreed the republic...
我父亲刚把土地卖给日本人 and my father just sold all his lands...
to the Japanese...
他们已经侵占了满洲国 who had already taken over Manchuria--
所有的房产 珠宝 一切 all the houses, jewels, and everything...
都转移到了南部 to go down towards the south.
我妈妈 And my mother...
她就躺在路中间 she'd just lie in the road...
她再也走不动了 and she can't go on anymore:
决不能让母亲和兄弟知道 The mother and the brothers mustn't know a thing.
这是原则 It is set by principle...
让他垂青于我 that he's at my feet...
我是为了钱才和他在一起 that I'm with him for the money...
我不能爱他 that I can't love him.
因为他是中国人 他不是白种人 This because he's Chinese, because he's not white.
我兄弟们狼吞虎咽着不和他说一句话 My brothers devour and don't speak a word to him.
我也不和他说一句话 I don't speak a word to him, either.
在我家人面前 他不再是我的情人了 In my family's presence, he ceases to be my lover.
他停止了存在 He doesn't cease to exist...
他对我来说一无是处 but he's nothing to me anymore.
他成了一片废墟 He becomes a burned-out place...
令人无法接受的丑闻 an unacceptable scandal...
羞耻的事 就该被掩饰好 a reason to be ashamed of, that has to be hidden.
还等什么呢? So, what are we waiting for?
我想去La Cascade喝一杯 I'd like to have a drink at La Cascade.
您的账单 先生 Your bill, sir.
我们想去La Cascade We'd like to go to La Cascade...
喝酒跳舞 to drink and dance.
你笑什么 What makes you laugh...
因为我和你妹妹跳舞吗? that I'm dancing with your sister?
抱歉 I'm sorry.
你们太不般配了 You're so badly paired.
别放心上 先生 Don't pay attention, sir.
他只是喝醉了 He's drunk, that's all.
什么? What?
我都不能笑了吗? Can't I laugh or what?
你想打架吗? Do you want to fight?
悠着点 小朋友 Take care, little buddy.
要打过我得两个你才行 It'd take two of you to do the job.
不 Oh, no.
不止啊 A lot more than that.
我看得四个才行 Four of me, you mean.
你不知道我有多虚弱 You have no idea how weak I am.
我们该走了 We should leave.
原谅他 先生 Forgive him, sir.
原谅我们 Forgive us.
我没有把我孩子抚养好 I've not brought my children up well.
我正在付出代价 I'm paying for it.
我是最罪孽深重的 I'm the one who's punished the most.
我们刚才做的值多少钱? How much is what we did worth?
在妓院里 你刚才对我做的 In a brothel, how much does it cost...
要花多少钱? to do what you just did to me?
你需要多少? How much do you need?
我妈妈需要500比索 My mother needs 500 piasters.
钱在这 I've got your money.
来 Here.
她办公室在哪 Where's her office?
在那 It's over there.
我们应该让她 You see, we have to let her...
夜间自由活动 go free in the evening...
不限制她回来时间 not tell her what time to be in.
也别强迫她和其他学生出游 We mustn't force her...
to go on trips with the boarders, either.
她总是个爱自由的孩子 不然 她会离家出走的 She's always been a free child. Otherwise, she'd run away.
虽然我无能为力 Even I can't do a thing about that.
但她在学校成绩也很好 She's always worked very well in school...
这么自由还这么好 even being so free.
校长同意了 因为我是白人 The headmistress accepted because I'm white...
也为了寄宿公寓的名声 and that for the boardinghouse's reputation...
在这么多欧亚混血学生中 必须有几个白种学生 amongst all the half-castes there must be a few whites.
她让我把寄宿公寓当宾馆住 She let me live in the boardinghouse...
as if it were a hotel.
除了我法语老师 Other than my French teacher...
学校里其他人都不和我说哈 nobody speaks to me at school.
因为你 It's because of you.
那是你想象出来的 That's your imagination.
不是 No.
还有一些家长投诉 There have been some complaints from families.
他们说我是个妓女 They say I'm a slut...
去镇里的阴暗处 and goes to the shady part of town...
给中国人玩弄她的身体 to have her body fondled by a Chinaman.
没什么 It's nothing.
真的 没什么 That's true. It's nothing.
哦 碰到她了 真脏 Ooh! It touched her. It's nasty.
她和个中国男人睡过 Ooh! She sleeps with a Chinaman.
有一天你会回到法国去 One day you're going to go back to France.
我接受不了 I can't take that.
你什么时候回法国? When are you going back to France?
学期结束 At the end of the school year...
不过也不确定 but it's not sure.
我母亲要离开这有些困难 My mother has a lot of difficulty in leaving here.
这颗钻石是我妈妈的 The stone belonged to my mother.
拿着 Take it.
我告诉他这种感觉太新鲜了 And I said to him that it's too new...
太强烈了 it's too strong...
我告诉他 and I said to him that...
实在不敢想象把你从我身边夺去 it is horrid to take you away from my body.
我告诉他 我父亲 I--I said to him that he--my father--
他应该知道 he--he should know what it is...
如此强烈的爱是什么样的 a love like this-- so strong...
一辈子不会有第二次 that it never happens again in a lifetime--
永远不会 never:
他想让我和我没见过女人结婚 He wants this marriage with...
this young girl I've never seen.
他一点不怜悯我 He shows no mercy for me.
不怜悯任何人 He shows none for anyone.
那你呢? And you?
你想结婚吗? Do you want this marriage?
问题不是想或不想 The question is not of wanting...
or not wanting.
没有我父亲的财富 我什么都不是 I'm nothing without my father's wealth.
他告诉我 He told me...
我宁愿你死 "I'd rather see you dead...
也别让我知道你和那个白人在一起 than know you were with that white girl."
他说得对 But he's right.
因为如果你穷 我会离开你的 He's right because anyhow I'll leave...
我不爱你 and I have no love for you.
看 You see.
就是这儿 It's here.
我母亲 在我小的时候 My mother, when I was little...
想建一个大坝 wanted to erect a dam...
保护这块生长良好的土地 to protect her good-growing land.
她想为我们发财 She wanted to become rich for us.
她把我父亲死后留下的所有钱 She put all the savings...
投了进去 left after my father's death into it.
其他人骗了她 People lied to her.
土地注册官卖了她的地 The land registrar agents sold her flood lands...
为了赚了奖金 just to earn their premiums.
海水淹没了一切 Saltwater covered everything.
她失去了这里的一切 一切 She lost everything here--everything.
多少年过去了 她才相信 It took her years...
别人偷走她的积蓄是可能的 to believe that it was possible...
for people to steal all her savings...
他们再也不认她了 and then never acknowledge her again...
把她赶了出去 to throw her out.
她竭斯底里得大叫 发作 She would scream. She had fits.
人们开始说她疯了 People started to say that she was crazy...
不再相信她说的话 to not believe what she said...
about her money anymore...
都说她在说谎 to say that she was lying.
我们很多年再也没见过白种人 We never saw another white person for years.
白人都为我们羞耻 The whites were ashamed of us.
她得放弃一切 She had to give everything up.
上面的稻田 The upper rice paddy--
她给了仆人 she gave it to the servants...
还有那个平房和所有家具 along with the bungalow and all the furniture.
我们过去常坐在这 We used to sit here...
和我妈妈还有弟弟 with my mother and my little brother...
看着山那边 and we'd watch the sky of Siam...
暹罗的天空 over there behind the mountains.
你冷吗? You feel cold?
有一点 A little.
那晚我就知道 That evening I know it.
我知道 I know only that...
之后 我会写我母亲的人生 later I will write my mother's life--
她是如何被土地注册官害死的 how she was killed by the land registrar agents...
她是如何被政府官员抢夺的 robbed by the government officials.
我会写 To write--
那时在那边荒地上 that's what I see beyond the moment...
我眼中的一切 in that great desert...
在这眼前的一切之下 under the features of which...
我看到的生活的延伸 I see the extent of my life.
她漂亮吗? Is she beautiful?
她很有钱 She's rich.
家族也是因为这选中了她 The family chose her also because of that.
她金玉满堂 钻石成堆 She's covered with gold...
jade...
and diamonds.
在我之前你睡过白人吗? Did you ever sleep with a white girl before me?
当然 在巴黎 In Paris, of course.
这里没有 Here, no.
为什么? Why?
这里 除了法国妓女 Here...
other than French prostitutes...
不可能和白种女人在一起 it's impossible to have white women.
完全不可能 Totally impossible.
我想听你说一次 I want you to say it to me once.
你来这是为了我的钱 You came here so that I'd give you money.
我来这是为了你的钱 I came here so that you'd give me money.
跟我说 Repeat after me.
我是为了钱 I was thinking about money...
只为钱 and only about money...
从我在渡船上看见你的那一刻起 from the moment I saw you on the ferry.
我是为了钱 I was thinking about money...
只为钱 and only about money...
从我在渡船上看见你的那一刻起 since the moment I saw you on the ferry.
你是个婊子 You're a whore.
你个婊子 You're a whore.
我不觉得这很恶心 I don't find that disgusting.
相反 On the contrary...
你知道You know...
在你之前 before you...
我不知道什么是痛苦 I knew nothing about suffering.
我很想 I would love to...
很想带你走 I would love to take you...
可我没有力气 but I'm without strength.
我毫无力气 I'm without any strength at all.
我如同死尸 I'm dead.
我对你没有任何欲望 I have no desire for you.
我的身体不再想要不爱我的人 My body no longer wants the one who doesn't love.
你知道这值多少钱吗? Do you know what that's worth?
你想我们相信他因为你漂亮 You want to have us believe...
就把它给你了 he just gave it to you for your pretty face?
他为什么给你这个钻石? Why did he give you such a diamond?
为什么? 因为他有钱 Why? Because he's rich.
你女儿在做婊子 Your daughter's whoring.
拿去 卖了 Take it! Sell it!
看我在不在乎戒指 See if I care about that ring!
我敢肯定 你和他睡过 You slept with him. I'm sure of it.
看看她 Just take a look at her.
她就是个耻辱 She's a disgrace.
什么? What?
你得教训教训她 妈妈 You've got to do something, Mum.
你说什么? 我和中国男人? What are you saying? Me with a Chinaman?
什么都没有 Nothing happened-- nothing--
连一个吻都没有 not even a kiss.
有中国人的味道 It smells of Chinese.
你和他睡过了 You slept with him.
说吧 Say it.
说啊 Say it.
说啊 Say it!
快说 你个婊子 You're going to say it, you bitch!
你个肮脏的婊子 You filthy bitch!
你和中国佬睡? 喜欢吗? You slept with a Chink. Did you like it? Huh?
Pierre 住手 Pierre, stop!
我说 住手 住手 你会弄死她的 Stop it, I say! Stop it! You're going to kill her!
住手 看在老天的份上 Stop it! Stop it, for god's sake!
Pierre 你会弄死她的 You're killing her, Pierre!
住手 Stop it!
我以为你不会来了呢 I thought my child wouldn't come anymore.
我坐黄包车来的 I took a rickshaw.
你抽得很多吗? Did you smoke a lot?
我现在只会抽了 That's all I do.
没有任何欲望了 I have no desire left.
我内心没有爱了 I have no love left.
太好了 It's wonderful.
好像我们从未相识一样 It's as though we'd never met...
又好像你几个月前就走了 or as though you left months ago.
你什么时候结婚? When are you getting married?
下周五 Next Friday...
然后就走了 and leaving...
12号坐Alexandre Dumas号客轮 on the Alexandre Dumas the 12th.
看看我啊 Look at me.
我要为我对你的爱而死了 I'm going to die of love for you.
你结婚之后 After your marriage...
我们来这见一次 we'll meet here one time--
就一次 just once.
记得吗? You remember?
你答应我的 You promised me.
你连紫檀木桌也卖了? You're also selling the rosewood table?
是啊 Yes.
什么都不要了 I'm leaving everything.
一切都结束了 It's all finished here.
我唯一会想念的就是金属床 The only thing I'll miss are the metal beds.
法国的床太软了 In France, the beds are too soft.
那是什么帽子 What's that hat?
妈妈 我都戴了好几个月了 Mom, I've been wearing it for months.
- 是我买的吗? - 还有谁? -Did I buy that for you? -Who else?
会有一天我们想要什么都让你买得起 Some days we can make you buy anything we want.
我忘了 I forgot.
知道吗 You know...
我不像你 I wasn't like you.
我没你学习得那么轻松 I didn't study as easily as you do...
and l...
我很严肃认真 I was very serious...
很长一段时间都这样 for so long--too long.
我就这样忘记了那种感觉 That's how I lost the feeling...
忘记了我自己的喜乐 of my own pleasure.
他真的做了件好事 He did a really good thing, truly.
谁做了件好事? Who did a good thing?
你朋友 Your friend--
你的中国朋友 your Chinese friend.
他还清了你哥哥在鸦片馆的债 He paid off your brother's debts...
at the opium den.
回国的钱也是他付的 He also paid for the trip.
他真好 He was wonderful--
也很谨慎 very discreet, too.
我低估他了 I had underestimated him.
对不起 I'm sorry about that.
你只为钱和他在一起吗? Do you only see him for the money?
是的 Yes.
当船最后要驶出港岸 It was when the boat uttered its first farewell...
当船板被支起 and the gangway had been hauled up...
拖船开始把客轮脱离岸边时 and the tugs had started to tow it...
to draw it away from the land...
她哭了 that she had wept.
她没有流泪 She'd done it without showing her tears...
没有让她母亲和弟弟看出来 without showing her mother or her little brother...
她很伤心 that she was sad...
她丝毫没有流露出半点感情 without showing anything...
就如她们之间的契约 as was the custom between them.
他来了 He was there.
后座上是他 That was him in the back--
那若隐若现的身形 that scarcely visible shape...
纹丝不动 她崩溃了 that made no movement, crushed.
她就如第一次在渡船上一样 She was leaning on the railing...
倚靠在栏杆上 like the first time on the ferry.
她知道他在注视着她 She knew he was watching her.
她也注视着他 She was watching him, too.
她看不见他了 但她依然 She couldn't see him anymore, but she still looked...
朝黑色轿车的方向看着他 towards the shape of the black car.
最后 她再也看不见了 In the end, she didn't see it anymore.
港口渐渐消失在眼中 The harbor had faded away...
之后那片土地也消失了 and then the land.
有一晚 One night...
在穿越印度洋时 during the crossing of the Indian Ocean...
在甲板上的大厅里 in the main room on the big deck...
听着肖邦的华尔兹舞曲 there had been a sudden burst...
她的感情突然迸发了 of a waltz by Chopin.
那晚 There wasn't a breath of wind...
没有一丝空气的流动 and that night...
音乐荡漾在整个邮轮上 the music had spread all over the black liner...
宛如来自天堂的指令 Like an injunction from heaven...
莫名的感觉 related to something unknown...
就像上帝的指令 Like an order from God...
那种感觉不可言喻 whose meaning was inscrutable.
她哭了 She had wept...
因为她想到了中国城的那个男人 because she had thought of that man from Cholon--
他的情人 her lover--
突然间 她不确定了 and suddenly she wasn't sure...
不确定她不爱他 of not having loved him...
那种爱她不曾预见 with a love she hadn't seen...
因为它流逝在他们的故事中 because it had lost itself in the story...
就如沙中之水 Like water in the sand...
这时她才重新发现 and that she was rediscovering it now...
在这漂洋过海的音乐声中 in this moment of music flung across the sea.
战争结束后多年 Years after the war...
结了婚 有了孩子 after the marriages, the children...
又离婚 还写了书 the divorces, the books...
他和他妻子来到巴黎 he had come to Paris with his wife.
他打电话给她 He had phoned her.
他害怕极了 He was intimidated.
他的声音在颤抖 His voice trembled...
在颤抖中 and with the trembling...
她又一次听见了那中国的口音 it had found the accent of China again.
他知道她开始写书了 He knew she'd begun writing books.
他也听说了她弟弟的死 He had also heard about the younger brother's death.
他为她悲伤 He had been sad for her...
然后他不知道和她说什么 and then he hadn't known what to tell her...
之后他告诉她 and then he'd told her--
他告诉她他一如既往地 he had told her that it was as before...
始终爱着她 that he still loved her...
他永远不会停止爱她 that he would never stop loving her...
他会爱她到死 that he would love her until his death. 翻译: 多尔