哦 天啦……自由 Oh, my God...Freedom.
我觉得我的烟熏妆花了 有没有花 I feel like my mascara's running,is my mascara running?
看上去还行 像柯特尼洛芙唱片封面 It looks good. Like the cover of Courtney Love's album.
你只需一个王冠 You just need a crown.
那有个王冠 There's a crown.
嘿 诺埃尔 诺埃尔 能借我们一下你的王冠吗 Hey, Noel, Noel, can we borrow your crown?
我们只是暂时需要 We just need it for like a second.
哇呜 Wow.
咱们被女王拒绝了 We just got the royal finger.
我从不喜欢她 I never liked her.
咱们刚才都参加什么了 What did we just go through?
是毕业舞会还是席琳迪翁的歌迷派对 I mean, what was that,a prom or a Celine Dion listening party?
别拍这段 Don't shoot this part.
好吧 什么地方啊 告诉我们…… Okay, what is this place? Tell us...
到那儿你就明白了 You'll see when we get there.
好吧 我们问的有点多 Okay, we're doing 20 questions.
这是什么地方 What is this place?
他们有吃的吗 Do they have food?
别问太多问题 Not have 20 questions.
什么 你不能只问一个问题 What, you can't just ask a question?
咱们去旅馆吗 我有点迷糊了 Aren't we just going to the hotel? I'm very confused.
我想对着以后正在看这段视频的 I just want to say, "Hey, what's up?" to
我们说声 all of the future versions of ourselves
“嘿，你好啊” watching this video right now.
希望咱们都学会像现在这两个 I hope that we all learn to be as
那样开心美丽 happy and beautiful as these two right here
因为他们将举行最好的舞会之夜 'cause they are going to have the best prom night of any of us.
等一下 让我来拍这段 Hold on, let me get this.
今晚本来可能会有些没意思 Tonight could've bit ass.
还好不是 因为大家都在一起 Except it didn't because we were together.
别弄哭我了 我的烟熏妆早就花得不像样了 Don't make me cry. My mascara is already fucked up enough as it is.
看起来很靓啊 You look pretty!
大家伙 我爱咱们的团队 Guys, I love our group.
咱们在干嘛呢 Guys, what are we doing?
别怕 Chill out, just live a little.
咱们不会被抓的 We're not going to get caught.
这样不合法 这样不合法 This is not legal. This is not legal.
丹尼尔 以后你会爱上自己所做的 Danielle, you're going to love that you did this later on.
萨瓦纳要脱光光了。 And Savannah's getting naked.
哦 别 别 Oh, no. No, no, no.
别 丹尼尔 No, Danielle.
要是从水里得了罕见的疾病 If we get a rare disease from this water,
最好咱们都会死的 at least we'll all die together.
不想把衣服放在潮湿的地上 I'm not leaving my dress on the wet ground.
衣服是干洗的 我妈会宰了我 It's dry-clean-only and my mom will kill me
一起来为席琳迪翁数数 On the count of Celine Dion.
一 二 席琳迪翁 One, two,Celine Dion!
不 不 不 No, no, no.
从1998年开始你就不能从事税收了 You can no longer work on your taxes from 1998.
是啊 我没法修改你的98年统计表 不 Yeah, I cannot amend your '98 return. No.
嗨 爸 Hi, Dad.
不 不 不 我不是嘲笑你的处境 No, no, no, I'm not laughing at your situation.
诉讼时效很严格 Yeah. No, there's a strict statute of limitations.
很抱歉 So sorry
之前不知道我爸要我一直工作到6：00 I didn't realize my dad wanted me to work until 6:00.
无法相信你还是那个替老爸干活的老指示牌女孩 I can't believe you're still filling in for your dad's old sign girl.
我就是想弄清楚 Yeah, you know, I'm just still trying to figure out
我要做哪种咨询服务 what kind of counseling I'm going to do.
-好 表演时间到 -让我们来看看 - Okay, Al, it's show time. - Let's see it already.
装潢师昨天刚刚完成收尾工作 The decorator just put the finishing touches on it yesterday.
你先 After you!
哦 天啦 Oh, my God.
抱歉 没关系 Sorry. That's okay.
哇噢 Whoa!
哦 天啦 你真是下了大工夫啊 Oh, my God. You have outdone yourself.
真的很棒 我以为你会有个鱼缸 This is impressive. I thought you were gonna have, like, a fish tank.
瞧瞧这家伙的乳头 Look at the nipples on this guy.
哦 天啦 萨瓦纳 咱们会大受欢迎的 Oh, my God, we're going to be so popular, Savannah.
那是贵宾部分 That is the VIP section.
每周晚上都可以过来 We can come any night of the week
我们的专属空间 and have our own special space.
真性感 很开心成为贵宾 好 姑娘们 准备好…… It is so sexy. I love that we get to be VIP! Okay, girls, getting ready...
开始晚会 Let's get this party started.
天啦……不 My God... No!
-最好一项 握好你们的鸡巴 -谢谢 - Last one, grab your penis. - Thank you.
像这样打开 Turn them on like this.
好喜欢 I love it.
嘿 不 看啦 我的蛋蛋亮不起来 Hey, no, look, my balls won't light up.
哦 天啦 那顶帽子太棒了 Oh, my God,that hat is too much.
真是我见过最小的帽子 I mean it truly is the tiniest hat I've ever seen.
像是给耗子戴的 It is, it's like suitable for a mouse.
你的婚礼上应该戴它 不可以 我有面纱了 You need to wear it to your wedding. I can't, I have a veil.
好吧 游戏 游戏 游戏 游戏 Okay,games, games, games, games.
好吧 游戏这么玩的 All right, the way this game works
写下你们认为这种场景下 is you write a caption for what you think
女人对丈夫说的话 the woman in this scene is saying to her husband.
但是有个条件 看看看 But here is the thing...Look, look, look.
必须写的黄一些 Look, look. Yes, you have to make it dirty.
会好玩的 那准备好了吗 It'll be fun, it'll be fun,so, all right. Ready?
开始 Set, go.
好 停 All right, stop.
停 放下铅笔 我先来 Stop, stop, stop,pencils down.I will go first.
他说他有个包裹要给我 He said he had a package for me.
好 丹尼尔 你来 All right, Danielle,you go.
我喜欢收邮件 但我写成了男人（同音词） I love getting mail. But I spelled it m-a-l-e.
哦 哇 Oh, wow.
好极了 好吧 梅格 梅格 你来 It's perfect. All right,Meg, Meg, Meg, you go.
好吧 我写了…… All right. So, I wrote...
嗨 马特 这是为了证明 Hi, Matt, this is to certify that
这是我订过的大鸡巴 this is the big fat cock I ordered.
等等 你为什么把马特的名字写进去了 Wait, why would you put Matt's name in it?
这应该是关于你的 对吧 Well, this is supposed to be about you, right?
不是 是关于婚姻 不是关于我的婚姻 No, they're about marriage, they're not about my marriage.
是啊 只是个玩笑 跟大家一样啊 Right, but it's a joke, like everyone else's.
和大家的不一样 Well, it's not like everybody else's.
是个玩笑 不是预言 你明白 It was a joke. It wasn't a prediction. You know.
一个玩笑 A joke.
不如玩下一个游戏吧 How about we do another one?
为什么你拧佛像的乳头 And why would you tweak the nipples on the Buddha?
那样似乎很无礼 That seemed, like, disrespectful.
对谁无礼 对你吗 你皈依佛教了吗 Disrespectful to who? To you? Did you convert to Buddhism?
没有 那样很厌恶的 我不是佛教徒 No, that's disgusting. I'm not Buddhist.
那是佛像 那是佛像 It's... That's Buddha. That's Buddha!
对 对 但那是对乳头的玩笑 Right, right. But you know that was a joke about nipples.Right?
不是佛教 And not Buddhism.
很多人敬畏佛像 但那样…… Yeah, Buddha is sacred to a lot of people, but that is...
这是个晚会 不提这件事了 This is a party, so let's just forget about it.
好 不提了 Okay, yeah, no, forgotten.
我们可以玩点别的 Um, I mean, we can do another one of these.
好 Yes.
这个女的有个塞子 这处是股沟 So this lady has a plunger and there's a butt crack.
嘿 Hey.
嘿 瞌睡虫 Hey, sleepy head.
哦 哇 Oh, wow.
我星期二拍的 I shot these on Tuesday.
一对有意思的夫妇 They were such an amazing couple.
他们对我所有的想法都很接受 They were so open to all of my ideas.
很好 哪儿拍的 Great. Where is that?
西雅图 但我们必须靠近造船厂 Over in Seattle. We had to go near the shipyards though
那样才能找到稍微多些的非主流 so we could get something a little more edgy.
看看墙壁 'Cause I mean, look at that wall.
是啊 Yeah.
今天你应该去找 Hey, weren't you supposed to go
那个职业咨询师了吧 to that career counselor today?
是啊 Yeah.
你应该 Yeah? You should...
好 好 我马上就准备 Yeah. Yeah, okay. I'll go get ready.
好 Good.
有人吗 Hello, is somebody there?
是我 你不用出来 It's me, you don't have to come out.
这是怎么回事 What's this?
什么跟什么 我就想看下电视 What's what? I'm just gonna watch some TV.
梅根 我不太喜欢你的新嗜好 Megan, I don't think I like this new habit.
我跟安东尼谈过了 I spoke with Anthony,
他说你今天要去见跟职业咨询师 and he said you were meeting with the career counselor today.
老天 我都知道她要跟我说哪些 My God, I know exactly what she's going to say.
简直就是浪费时间 It's just a waste of time.
梅根 我不想看到你糟蹋自己的学历 Megan, honey, I don't want to see you throw away your education.
你有高等学位 You have an advanced degree.
我懂 你老爸本不该 I know. And your father should have
让你干那份破活儿 因为现在…… never given you that stupid job because now...
是我家闺女吗 Is that my girl?
嘿 你在家干嘛 Hey, what are you doing home?
是他家 It's his home.
休息日 Taking the day off.
哦 我也是 Yeah, me too. Hmm.
想留下来吃晚饭吗 Wanna stay for dinner?
-好啊 -艾德 -Yeah. -Ed.
嘿 今晚是“自己动手做匹萨”之夜吗 Hey, is it "make your own pizza" night?
当然 好主意 好主意 Sure, great idea. Great idea.
是啊 Yeah.
我发誓要爱你 珍惜你 对你负责 I promise to love you, to cherish you and to hold you
在以后的岁月里对你忠贞不渝 and to be the rock in our relationship for the rest of our days.
我发誓要成为你清晨的满天星 I promise to be your baby's breath when we wake each morning.
和傍晚的 And to be your evening rose
夜玫瑰 at day's end.
我发誓要成为你安全的港湾 And I promise to be your safe harbor
无论风平浪静还是波涛汹涌 when the boat is rocking and when it's not rocking.
沃纳梅格夫妇 你们现在结为夫妻了 I give you the bride and the groom, Mr. and Mrs. Wanamaker!
沃纳梅格夫妇 And here they are
要在这里随音乐共舞 dancing to the song Mrs. Wannamaker
选了这曲作为夫妇首次 has picked for their first dance together
共舞的音乐 as man and wife.
我老爸以前常发出尖叫声 My dad used to make yipping sounds
我第一次开始带你约会的时候 when I first started to take you out
因为他说这是早恋 because he said it was puppy love.
我知道 我记得 I know. I remember.
你明白这不是早恋 Yeah, well, you know, but it wasn't puppy love.
不 我的意思是 除非咱们都早恋好长一段时间了 No... I mean,unless we stayed puppies for a seriously long time.
听 Listen...
什么 What?
看…… Look...
我知道真的要花很长时间到这里 I know it's taken me a really long time to get here.
你在说什么 What are you talking about?
你知道我上个月怎么听那个家伙的讲座吗 Okay, well, you know how I took that guy's seminar last month?
是啊 Right.
我做了性格测试 Well, I took a personality test.
测试反馈说我是那种…… And the test came back and the type that I am...
-拖延症者类型 -我说…… Is a procrastinator. Anth, I mean...
谁编的这些测试 别这样 Who makes up those tests? Come on.
专家 Experts. Right.
就是那些非常聪明的人 Like really smart people...
可是这不是重点 But that's not important.
重点是我一直傻乎乎地 What's important is that I've been such a bonehead
等着能够有这样一天好长时间了 in waiting to do this for so long.
不 不 起来 起来 No, no! Whoa, get up, get up!
好吧 起来…… Okay. Get up...
好 我起来了 听我说 我知道 Okay, I'm up, and listen, I know
过去我们一直不太好确认 we have had our trouble in the past
属于咱们的那一时刻 但是今天就可以 with recognizing our moments, but this is it.
这是我们的那一时刻 This is our moment.
不 不是我们的时刻 No, this isn't our moment,
是艾莉森的 是的婚礼 this is Allison's moment, this is her wedding.
我知道 真的很棒 I know, and it's totally cool.
我开始有这个想法时 我跟她说了 When I first had the idea, I ran it by her
她为我们感到高兴 and she was so happy for us.
今天午餐时 And today, at lunch,
我得到个幸运饼干 上面说“抓住今天” I got a fortune cookie that said, "Carpe diem."
抓住今天 是的 Carpe diem? Yes.
嘿 梅根 你知道我妈在哪儿吗 Hey, hey, guys, hey. Megan, can you find my mom?
她等下要和马特跳舞 She has the next dance with Matt.
我刚在花园看到她 I think I saw her out in the garden.
是啊 一会过来 Yeah, I'm... I'm...I'm gonna come... I'm...
等一会儿 I'm just a second...Right.
抱歉 她得去找我妈 Sorry but she has I'm gonna come... I'm...
没事儿 No, it's fine. Okay.
没事 It's fine.
我得走了 放些玫瑰花瓣到婚房里面 Uh, I'm going to go and put the rose petals in the bridal suite.
现在吗 Right this second? Yeah.
就不能等他们走前再去吗 Don't you do that just before they leave?
不 不 现在正好 No, no, it's cool right now.
好 待会儿 待会儿 我会…… Okay, I'll... Later right? Later.
梅格 Meg?
梅格…… Meg...
嘿 打扰了 Hey, excuse me.
怎么了 Yeah?
你看起来像去参加晚会 You look like you party.
事实上我刚从一个晚会出来 I guess I'm technically coming from one.
很棒 那…… Cool. So...
我们自己都难相信忘带身份证了 We can hardly believe this, but we all forgot our ID's.
通常我们都是自己去买啤酒的 And I mean, normally we would just go buy some beer ourselves...
但我猜我们看起来不满21岁 很古怪吧 But I guess we look under 21. Which is crazy, right?
我懂了 那…… I know. Um, so...
要是我给你些钱或别的 If we gave you some money or something,
你能帮我们解决问题去买 would you help us straighten this whole problem out
6瓶装的啤酒吗 and just buy us a six-pack or something?
哦 天啦 Oh, God.
找的零钱都归你 Um, you could totally keep the change.
好吧 Okay.
我像你这么大时 有人也为我这么干过 Someone did this for me when I was your age,
所以我为你做一次吧 so I'm going to do it for you.
像一个庆祝仪式吧 It's like a rite of passage, right?
是啊 Yeah.
我对你有好感 Yeah, I... I had a good feeling about you.
就像自己人一样 That makes one of us.
能带些冷饮吗 Hey, yo, can we get some coolers too?
还有红酒 And some red wine.
能带些白酒吗 多谢你了 And can you get some white wine also? Thank you.
不必都买 谢谢了 You don't have to get all that. Thank you.
耶 Yeah!
拿着 悠着点喝 Here you go. Drink responsibly.
真好 Sweet.
好 我要走了 晚安 你们 Okay, I'm out of here. Goodnight, you guys.
很抱歉 我可以看下这个吗 I'm really sorry. Can I have a look at that for a second?
试试吧 Yeah go for it.
好 Okay.
差一点 Almost.
天啦 上八年级后再也没玩过这个了 God, I haven't done this since I was in eighth grade.
好 好 再来一次我就走了 Okay, okay, one more time and then I'm going.
好 非常感谢你们 Okay, all right, thank you so much.
你要去哪儿 Come on, where are you going?
再玩一会儿 Hang out some more.
留下来吧 Come on, stay.
也许我还可以待一个小时 I mean, maybe I've got an hour.
耶 Yeah.
你们在忙什么 What are you up to?
-真的很惊艳 -这才是艺术 - Guys, I'm really impressed. - This is truly art.
哦 Oh.
哦 Oh. Okay.
来吧 梅根 Come on, Megan.
现在扔吧 扔 Go right now, go.
糟了 Shit.
当你在晚会喝醉了 其他人都没醉 You know when you go to a party drunk, and everybody else is sober.
或许 Or no. Or maybe like,
或许醒的那个是你，醉的是其他人 maybe you're the sober one and everybody else is drunk.
你会觉得你认识很久的人 God, you'd think that somebody who you've known for forever
本该明白你要对乳头所做的 would have known what you meant about nipples,
比如说 and it's like, hey, hey,
用佛像做餐厅装饰 maybe like, using Buddha as a restaurant decoration
是个更大的玩笑吧 is the bigger joke, right?
或许是 Or maybe...
他们才是开玩笑的人 Maybe actually they're the ones that are telling the jokes
我是那个没搞明白的人 你知道吗 and I'm the one that's missing them. You know?
听到你的话我觉得很难过 It makes me really sad what you're saying.
很难过 It's sad...
甚至不知道你什么 可是仍然…… I don't even know what you're talking about but still...
哦 Oh.
别难过了 米斯蒂 Don't get sad, Misty.
没事儿 没事儿 I'm fine. I'm fine.
你不该喝醉 不该难过 No, no, like, you shouldn't get drunk and get sad.
看看帕特里克 I mean, look at Patrick.
帕特里克难过 他甚至都还没怎么沾酒 Patrick's sad and he hasn't even touched his wine.
他家庭破裂了 His folks are splitting up.
他老爸离婚后一直都是这样混球 His dad's being a massive dick in the divorce.
哦 Oh.
所以我们才到他家去 That's why we TP'd his house.
那是他家 That was his house?
是啊 Yeah.
原来如此 Huh?
你们不想一起出去吗 So you don't want to go out together
像朋友那样吗 as friends then?
带上大二学生 Just take the sophomore.
来场真正的约会 You know, just take a real date.
好吧 安妮卡 无论你要什么 All right, whatever Annika. Whatever you want.
抱歉 刚刚打扰了 I'm sorry. I just... I totally interrupted.
什么 我和朱尼尔吗 What, me and Junior?
不是 我们刚刚讨论毕业舞会 你知道 愚蠢的事情 No, we were just talking about the prom. You know, stupid stuff.
我今晚见到我爸出轨了 I saw my dad cheat on my mom tonight.
真的吗 Really?
正好那时有人要给他打飞机 I think he was about to get a hand job.
我 Yeah, my...
我妈七年前丢下我和我爸 My mom left my dad and I, like, seven years ago now.
莫名其妙地就走了 It was out of nowhere.
我们不知道为什么她要走 We don't know why she did it.
你知道你爸为什么那样吗 You know why your dad did it?
不知道 I don't.
好吧…… Well...
要是想聊天的话 If you ever want to talk,
打给我 call me.
你要把电话给我吗 You're giving me a phone?
我有一堆 I have a bunch of them.
我老爸是销售电话的 Misty's dad sells them.
我常用那个电话 不想让我爸知道我的一些事 I just pretty much just use that one to hide stuff from my dad.
谢谢 Thanks.
天啦 都不知道现在几点了 God, I don't even know what time it is.
我怎么会 哦 不 How do I, um... Oh, no...
这个吗 This one?
哦 糟了 Oh, shit.
糟了 糟了 糟了 糟了 Shit, shit, shit, shit.
再见 谢谢陪我度过愉快的时光 Bye, thanks for the awesome time.
梅根 你怎么啦 去哪儿了 Megan, what happened to you? Where have you been?
对不起 对不起 I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.
我……我 I, uh... I...
我知道我不该 I... You know, I was more wasted
离开婚宴 leaving the wedding than I knew...
我到了商店时候 Okay.And by the time I got to the store,
才发觉我不该开车 I realized I shouldn't even be driving.
之后感到一阵恶心 便在草丛里呕吐起来 And then I got sick and I was puking in some bushes,
然后裙子弄脏了 and then my dress got dirty,
接着我不得不把车放那儿 打车过来 and then I had to leave the car there and take a cab here.
现在我回来了 And now I'm back.
我以为你有点心烦意乱 I thought you got upset about,
我下跪的时候 we'll call it the kneeling,
所以你才故意不回来 and that you didn't come back on purpose,
但那不像你的作风 but that didn't seem like you.
不 不 对不起 No, no, I'm sorry.
对不起 我有点害怕 对不起 I'm sorry. I got scared, I'm sorry.
只是……我不明白 I just... I don't know.
天啦 看 我现在一团糟 Oh, God, I'm a mess right now, look,
能明早谈这件事吗 can we... Can we talk about this tomorrow?
好吧…… Well...
不…… Well, baby, no...
不吗 不 No? No.
我们不能 We can't. Right.
因为我们已经浪费大把时间了 Because we have wasted so much time...
本该可以弄得正式一些 We should have just made it official
是时候了 and our time is now.
我知道你为什么犹豫不决 I know why you're hesitant.
为什么 Why?
因为计划和压力 It's the planning and the pressure
和所有的礼服 and all the trappings of all that.
但我们不必做到那样 But we don't have to do it that way.
不必吗 No?
不必 因为我们…… No, because we...
我们可以私奔 We can elope.
我以前在想 I was thinking.
没必要告诉父母 We don't have to tell our parents,
没必要告诉朋友 we don't have to tell our friends.
真的吗 Really?
咱们可以去海滩或者维加斯 We could go to a beach or Vegas.
我之前想到维加斯 I was thinking Vegas
可以省掉那一步 'cause we could just check that step off
明天就可以结婚 and we could be married tomorrow.
你想那么做吗 你想那么做吗 Would you do that? Would you do that?
是啊 我想那么做 Yes. I would do that.
我想那么做 Okay. I would do that.
明天我们要去参加马特和艾莉森的早午餐 Wow, we have Matt and Allison's brunch tomorrow.
但我们可以第二天就开始 But we can do it the day after.
后天我们就可以走 We can go the day after tomorrow.
是啊 Yeah.
我不行 I can't the day after that.
什么意思 为什么 为什么 What do you mean, why? Why?
天啦 我其实是想去 My God, I really wanted to...
个人发展研讨会 To go to that personal development seminar.
等等 真的吗 好吧 Wait, really? Yeah.
在奥卡斯岛吗 On Orcas?
对啊 Yeah, right.
因为 你知道…… Ah, because, you know...
我在为我爸打广告牌 I'm twirling a sign for my dad,
不知道自己将要干什么 and I don't know what to do with my future.
很好 梅格 That's awesome, Meg.
是啊 Yeah.
我完全赞成 I'm so all for that.
很称赞 你知道…… That's amazing. You know...
他们会给你一种动物帮助你 They do this thing where they give you an animal to help you
来形象化新行为模式 visualize new behavioral patterns.
给我的是一条鲨鱼 And mine was a shark.
时刻提醒我要不断前进 And it helped to remind me that I need to keep progressing,
否则就会沉到海底 otherwise I'll just sink.
那…… Yeah, so...
奥卡斯岛研讨会之后…… After your seminar on Orcas...
呃…… Uh...
你愿意…… Will you...
梅根 伯奇…… Megan Burch...
和我一起私奔到维加斯吗 Run off to Vegas with me?
是的 我愿意 Yes, I will.
你愿意 You will.
那就这么办 There it goes.
我爱你 I love you.
唔 Mmm-hmm.
我非常爱你 I love you so much.
昨晚发生什么了 What happened to you last night?
对不起 我病了 I'm so sorry. I got sick.
病了 Sick?
她喝多了 后来在停车场吐了 She had a few too many drinks and ended up vomiting in a parking lot.
很抱歉 I'm sorry.
为什么要喝那么多 Why would you possibly drink that much?
现在你又不在宴席照片里面 Now you are not in any of the table pictures.
录像时又把你漏了 You are missing from the video.
梅根 艾希莉 伯奇 Megan Ashley Burch...
你把每个人都吓得要死 你到底去哪儿了 You had everyone scared to death. Where the hell have you been?
我不舒服 I got sick.
她说她不舒服 Oh. She said she got sick.
我得 I just, uh...
我得走了 做其他事 I just need to...I've got to go and do something.
没事的 亲爱的 It's okay, baby.
孩子 Hon.
我要走了 等等…… I was just leaving. Wait...
你怎么了 What's going on with you?
我怎么了 是啊 What's going on with me? Yeah.
我看到你了 I saw you.
所以现在我一点都不想见到你 So right now I don't even want to look at you.
咱们安静地谈会儿 Let's just quietly talk about this for a second.
谈什么 抱歉 谈什么 Talk about what? I'm sorry, talk about what?
我不知道 I don't know.
朝夕相处的人之间也会产生隔阂 总是世事难料 People grow together, they grow apart. It's always shifting.
对啊 和老妈三十几年的婚姻 Oh, right. Three decades of marriage to Mom
你要告诉我看到的是世事难料 and you're going to describe what I saw as shifting?
等等 Wait.
嘿 你还好吧 Hey. You okay?
是啊 Yeah.
萨瓦纳和西奥 Okay. Savannah and Theo
—想和我们谈谈 —谈什么 want to talk to us. About what?
—我不知道 过来 —好 I don't know. Come here. Okay.
好 你们来了 那…… Oh, good, there you are. So...
西奥同我一直在谈论 Theo and I have been talking it over
虽然你们俩法律意义上说还是未婚 and even though you guys aren't technically married...
你们和戈尔迪霍恩一样看不出岁月变化 You know, you're doing the whole Goldie Hawn thing.
你们同居这么久 You know, you've been together the longest
还是如此青春 and you are young
如此活力 and you are fun... So fun.
我们负责任地说 你们关系牢固 And, you know, if we're being responsible, if we're being responsible, you're stable.
我想问你 And what we wanted to ask you is...
准备好了吗 Is... Ready?
愿意做我家孩子的教父和教母吗 Would you be our baby's godparents?
喔 Whoa!
-是在开玩笑吧 -没 - Are you kidding? - No.
当然 我们愿意 Sure...Yeah, we would.
我们很荣幸 We would be honored.
我告诉过你 正式吗 See, I told you. Is it official?
你们在找朱庇特的教父母 You are looking at Juppiter's godparents.
-他们就是 -朱庇特 -There they are. -Juppiter?
是啊 没人起这个名字 Yeah, nobody has that name.
没人 很奇怪 No one. Oddly.
我猜也是 I bet not.
像行星的名字 除了两个“P” Like the planet. Except two "P's," two "P's."
我觉得这对咱们有好处 You know, I think this is going to be really good for me.
我也觉得 Me too.
就像你要参加伴娘聚会而不是研讨会 It's like you're having your bachelorette party but at a seminar.
是啊 Yeah.
也许你也拿到一条鲨鱼 Maybe you'll get a shark too.
也许吧 Maybe.
好吧 再见 All right, bye.
开车小心点 Drive safe.
-再见 -再见 -Bye. -Bye.
喂 Hello?
嘿 我是安妮卡 Hey, what up? It's Annika.
有个紧急情况 Uh, huge emergency,
能来趟我的学校装成我妈吗 could you come down to my school and pretend to be my mom?
什么 Whoa, what?
今天学校要开家长会 Yeah, I'm supposed to have this parent/teacher conference today,
但我把通知扔了 but I threw the note out.
所以辅导员要打电话给我爸 So my counselor said she's gonna call my dad,
要是他过来的话肯定没好脸色 but he will be super pissy if he has to come sit down here.
所以我告诉他们我妈早就知道了 So I told them my mom already knew about it
我主要想说 你能过来下 so basically my point is, could you just come down here
假装关心我哪怕十分钟吗 and pretend to care about me for like ten minutes?
我会感激你的 I'll owe you,
我感激你上次帮我买啤酒 and I know I already owe you for the beer,
但是我真的很感激你这么做 but I will really, really owe you.
但我跟你长得不像啊 But, but I don't look related to you.
也许我是收养的 她怎么知道呢 Maybe I'm adopted. What the fuck does she know?
也许不多 Probably not much.
你会来吗 So will you come?
嗨 Hi.
天啦 你真的来了 My God, you actually came through.
你还戴了假婚戒 And you have the fake wedding ring.
挺不错的 Nice touch.
亨特女士吗 Mrs. Hunter?
嘿 Hey.
你好 Hello.
我很关心 So, I'm becoming concerned that
安妮卡对自己的前途毫无任何采取措施 Annika is not taking steps towards her future.
明白 Got it.
回家我会跟她谈这件事 Well, I'll be sure to talk to her about it at home.
这里方便吗 So, we're good here?
亨特女士 我知道你忙 但是…… Mrs. Hunter, I realize you must have a very busy life. But...
我希望今天可以想出一个计划 I was hoping that we could all come up with a plan today.
好啊 计划 你有计划吗 Okay, sure. A plan. Do you have one?
哦 Oh, uh...
不知道 我是说…… I don't know. I mean...
提前计划那么远有点蠢 It kind of seems stupid to plan that far in advance
不管怎么样还是要改变想法的 对吧 when you're just gonna change your mind anyway, right?
就像是你有了孩子 I mean, say you had a kid,
然后意识到你其实不想要这个孩子 and then you realize you didn't really want the kid.
你怀孕了吗 Was there a pregnancy?
不是 她是在说他老妈 就是我 No, she's talking about her mom. Me.
她老妈 Her mom.
作为她的母亲 我想说…… And as her mom, I'd say that...
不太确定为将来做这样死板的计划 I'm sure it does seem kind of stupid
是不是有点蠢 但…… to make some sort of rigid plan for the future. But...
没开始注意到真正的自己以及怎样让自己开心 It's stupider not to start paying attention to who you are
是更蠢的事情 and what makes you happy.
否则 就会摇摆不定 Otherwise, you just float.
那…… So...
她的计划有个开端 There's the start of her plan.
哈珀斯基女士 很高兴与你会面 你给了我们很多要思考的 Good meeting, Mrs. Halpsky. You've given us a lot to think about.
是的 Yes, well... Yes.
这是份有趣的工作吗 So this is kind of an interesting job to have, huh?
做这样的工作要那种证书 What kind of licensing does it take?
你是在质疑我的资历吗 Are you questioning my qualifications?
不 不 别介意 我…… No. No. Never mind. I...
我只是好奇 起来吧 I was just curious. Come on.
你压倒她了 You worked her over.
你现在可以把那个摘下了 她完全认输了 You can take that stuff off now, you know. She totally bought it.
记得半个小时前你说过你欠我个人情吗 Remember half an hour ago when you said you'd really owe me?
你记得真牢 Holy shit. You collect fast.
我需要出去住一个星期 你老爸工作 是吗 I need to lay low for a week. Your dad works, right?
我爸通常七点钟回家 So, my dad usually comes home around 7:00,
但是他要拜访那些离婚后再婚者 所以会回来晚些 but he's going to some lame, divorcee mixer, so he'll be late.
这是卧室 This is the living room.
这个 And this...
这是琳恩 Ooh, this is Lynn.
天啦 Jesus Christ. Yeah...
我妈看了《海底总动员》后买的 My mom bought her when she saw Finding Nemo
她觉得海龟很可爱 但是…… 'cause she thought that turtle was cute, but...
后来她才知道这种海龟不会游泳 Then she realized that this kind doesn't swim.
所以她也把你抛弃了 是吧 琳恩 So she ditched you, too, didn't she, Lynn?
你真的不必为她做任何事 You don't really have to do anything for her.
别踩到她就行了 她喜欢藏在这里 Just don't step on her. She likes to hide back here.
我需要喂她吗 Do I need to feed her?
你可以试下 但我们非常确信她有厌食症 Um, you can try, but we're pretty sure she's an anorexic.
很棒的宠物 Cool pet.
这是厨房 想吃什么尽管吃 So, this is the kitchen. You can basically eat whatever you want.
这是他的酒箱 But this is his box of wine.
如果你要喝一些 用漏斗 So if you have some, use the funnel
和特百惠盒子 然后补些水进去 with the Tupperware and fill it up with a little bit of water.
我们就是这么做的 他不会发现的 It's what we do. I don't think he really notices.
今晚丹邀请了一些人过去 And tonight, this guy Dan has invited some people over
因为他爸妈不在家 'cause his parents are out of town.
如果你想去的话 我们可以带你一起去 So if you want to do that, we can do it.
从后面溜走就行了 And then we'll just sneak you back in.
好吧 Okay.
我用保湿的 非常靓的一款绿色 And I'm using Humid. It's a really gorgeous green.
底下 边缘 好了 Under. Yeah, on the edge. All right.
准备好了吗 是啊 You ready? Yeah.
我一直想花个烟熏妆 You know, I always wanted to try a smoky eye.
但是想想可能有点太做作了 But I thought it might be too much on me.
不知道 我喜欢 I don't know. I like it.
嘿 Hey!
你应该敲门 Whoa! You're supposed to knock.
写一份信 我不认识你 Write a letter. I don't know you.
-梅根 -克雷格 -Megan. - Craig.
她是我的新朋友 She's a new friend.
你应该去调理法律纠纷 You're supposed to be at that mixer.
我回家换身衣服 因为我看起来不像律师 Yeah, well, I came home to change so I don't look like a lawyer.
哇 Wow.
现在的高中生看起来 High school students are looking
越来越狂野了 rougher and rougher these days.
才毕业 Just graduated.
天啦 有时候就是这么粗鲁 God, you can be rude sometimes.
她是我的新朋友 Look, she's a new friend, okay?
我们打算去看电影 We're just gonna go to the movies.
是不是吸血鬼青年泡了个妹子 Right well, let me know if the teen vampire gets the girl.
-10点前回家 -知道了 And be home by 10. -I know I'll be.
他如果想少点孤独为什么不待在外面呢 You know,why doesn't he just stay out if he wants to be less lonely?
不知道 I don't know. Come on.
这是要参加大学聚会吗 Is this turning into a college party?
啤酒在哪儿 这边吗 Where's the fucking beer? This way?
朱尼尔 Junior!
怎么了 What's up? Hey.
好久没见了 Long time no see since Econ.
整晚都在他旁边 Yeah, that goes on around him all night.
安妮卡 Yo. Yo, Annika!
嘿 Hey. Hey.
哦 上来吧 Oh, yeah, let's do this!
没开始前不算聚会 It's not a party till we start.
谁来帮我一把 Who's gonna help me get this going!
给 Here.
这真是招呼人的地方 Yeah. This is definitely having people over.
我一直喜欢听尼尔杨的歌 Oh, yeah. I've always loved Neil Young.
我才找到他 I just discovered him.
我要放冰块 Okay, I'm gonna put the ice cube.
那会不错 It's gonna be good.
一起数三声 一…… Okay, on the count of three. One...
二 Two!
姑娘们 我们需要铁环 Okay, girls. We need the hoop.
快点 递过来 谢谢了 Come on. Hand it over. Yeah, thank you.
我觉得已经过了晚钟时刻了 咱们得走了 Hey, I think it's past your curfew, so we should probably go.
这是我妈 This is my mom.
这是你妈吗 Wow, that's your mom?
她现在给产品目录当模特 Yeah, she models for catalogs now.
我之前碰到过他们 我对她一无所知 I've come across them before. I don't even know who she is anymore.
你没去看她吗 You don't see her?
打过些电话 We did phone calls for a bit.
最近没打电话了 It didn't really last.
你知道她在哪儿住吗 Do you know where she is?
有她地址 寄给我爸的子女抚养费支票上面的 There's an address. On the child support check she sends my dad.
他把他们放到箱子里面写上“不用了 谢谢” He puts them in a box labeled, "No, thanks."
天啦 很抱歉 God, I'm sorry.
今晚真的情绪化了 I'm really emotional tonight.
我之前很烦朱尼尔 I was already upset about Junior,
然后进来看到了她 and then I came in here, and I saw her.
你喜欢他是吧 You like him, huh?
是啊 Yeah.
我也许爱上他了 I might even be in love with him.
哇 Wow.
你确定他不喜欢你吗 Well, are you sure that he doesn't like you, too?
当然 只是作为朋友 Sure he does. As a friend.
好吧 Oh, right.
他也许在检查她的标签 You know, he's probably checking her tag
看看要洗多少时间 to see what cycle to wash it in.
是啊 Yeah.
唔 Mmm-hmm.
梅根 我能借用你的车钥匙吗 Uh, Megan, can I borrow your car keys for a second?
我觉得运动衫丢在车里了 I think I left my sweatshirt out there.
运动衫真是好想法 Yeah. Sweatshirt's a really good idea.
谢谢 Thanks.
你知道…… You know...
我上高中时 When I was in high school,
有个人喜欢我 there was a guy that everyone said liked me.
我都是从朋友那听到的 It was all I heard about from my friends.
但是他从没行动 所以我一直不确定 But he never acted on it, so I kept getting unsure.
他有没有做别的事 Well, did he ever do anything about it?
有啊 Yeah.
大二时 他当着每个人的面请求我 Sophomore year, he asked me to be
当他的女朋友 his girlfriend in front of everyone.
你喜欢他吗 Oh... And did you like him?
是啊 他很聪明 有些艺术天分 Yeah. He was cute. Kind of artsy.
他注意到世界的细节 He noticed these details about the world
以一种别人没有的方式谈论他们 and talked about them in a way that no other high school guy would.
他总是 And he was always...
他总是拍照 He was always taking pictures and...
引述那些我觉得很深奥的内容 Pulling quotes out of nowhere which I thought was pretty deep.
也许开始习惯了 But, but maybe it was the start of a habit
等待别人给我做决定 of waiting for other people to make decisions for me.
你知道吗 You know?
好 Okay.
好 Ooh, okay.
好 他会在屋里等着 Okay. He's going to be waiting inside
给我做证词 to do a whole deposition on me.
所以直接去我房间 在那等我 So just go straight to my room and wait for me there.
你不必脱鞋 You don't have to take your shoes off.
嘿 你去那儿了 Hey. Where you been?
天啦 电影真长啦 Whoo! God! That movie was so long.
嘿 Hi. Hey.
你找到你需要的一切了吗 是啊 Did you find everything you needed? Yeah.
是吗 好吧 Yeah? All right, cool.
你遇到麻烦了吗 Are you in trouble?
没有 他让我告诉他咱们看的电影剧情 No. He just made me tell him the plot to the movie we saw.
然后他在网上给我读同样的剧情 And then he read the same plot to me back online
看看是否匹配 to see if it matched.
但我只是告诉他我上周翘课时 But I just told him a movie I saw
看的那部电影 last week when I ditched school.
啊哈 Ah-ha!
是啊 我觉得你对腹语不敢兴趣 Yeah. I didn't think you had an interest in ventriloquism.
你下楼 我们需要谈谈 You. Downstairs. We need to talk.
很抱歉 I'm sorry.
不是你的错 It's not your fault.
你是谁 Who are you?
梅根 伯奇 Megan. Burch.
恩 Mmm-hmm.
我理解这对于一个女人来讲 And I get that this can sometimes be
有时候是敏感的信息 sensitive information for a woman,
你多大了 but how old are you?
我20多了 I'm in my 20s.
嗯 Uh-huh.
为什么要在我家过夜 And why are you sleeping over at my house?
我想最大的疑问是 Or I guess the larger question is,
你为什么要和我女儿出去玩 why are you hanging out with my daughter?
有点难解释 It's kind of hard to explain.
我猜也是 I bet.
我没真的尝试过 甚至我自己 No, I mean, I've never really tried to. Not even to myself.
我喜欢听没有事先排练过的话 I like hearing things better when they're not rehearsed.
好吧 All right, uh...
我是这里长大的 I grew up around here.
你知道 Well, no, I didn't, I mean, you know,
湖对岸的东面 across the lake on the east side.
嗯 Uh...
我跟我男朋友高中时就是“最佳情侣” I got "best couple" with my boyfriend in high school.
我和朋友建了个交替舞蹈团 And I started an alternative dance team with my friends
意味着我们以野兽男孩乐队歌曲伴舞 meaning that we danced to Beastie Boys
而不是用最畅销唱片 非常有意思 instead of top 40. It was kind of cool.
大学毕业后 我做了几份工作 时间不断流逝 After college, I worked some random jobs, time went by.
我要跳过一些…… I'm gonna skip to...
我考了研究生 Okay, I went back to
拿到了婚姻家庭咨询师资格证 grad school to get my marriage and family therapist degree
因为我想和人 because I thought I wanted to have
进行实在的谈话 honest conversations with people.
嗯 Mmm-hmm.
但是…… 但是…… But... But...
我当了实习生 I did my internship and I...
和一个客户都合不来 I couldn't relate to any of my clients.
我感觉像个实实在在的骗子 I felt like a total fraud.
我在这样的地方找到了自我 So, you know, I kind of found myself in this place. Like...
这种怪异的中间人地方 This kind of weird in-between place, you could say, you know?
我有点摇摆不定 And, I don't know, I was kind of floating.
后来在杂货店遇到了安妮卡 And, and then I met Annika at the grocery store,
我和她玩了会儿滑板 and I skateboarded with her for a minute.
真的很有意思 And, and it was really fun, you know.
我喜欢玩滑板 我想念那种感觉 I liked skateboarding. I missed it.
跟别人闲逛真的很有意思 I think it was just nice to hang out with somebody
可以换换口味通融通融自己 that cut me some slack for a change.
很抱歉 这样说不清 I'm sorry. This isn't gonna make any sense. This is...
这不是…… You know, this isn't...
这根本就说不清 所以请控告我吧 It's not gonna make any sense, so just fucking sue me.
但愿不是律师玩笑 I'm sorry, that wasn't meant to be a lawyer joke.
如果不是冒犯的话 就不是玩笑 It's not a joke if it's not insulting.
我不知道律师玩笑 I don't think I know any lawyer jokes.
等等 我从我爸那听到一个 Oh, no, wait, I do. I've got one from my dad.
你把海底的5000个死去的律师称为什么 What do you call 5,000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the sea?
海门红 A good start.
你听过一个成年女人 Hey, did you hear the one about the grown woman
跟一群黄毛少年出去闲逛吗 who started hanging out with a bunch of pubescent kids?
不 什么 No, what?
两个都没听过 No, I'd never heard of it before either.
来吧 帮帮我 那又怎么样…… 你以前是什么样的 Come on, you gotta help me out. So what... What were you like?
嗯 Uh, well...
大四时 我被选为“最佳校草” Senior year, I was voted "best gorgeousness,"
大概就像那种泵气 and most likely to pump gas
年纪大了 when I get older.
后来才意识到 对于我来说 如果不是靠我一个人 And then I realized it would be fairly easy for me to argue
我会相当容易去谋生 for a living if I wasn't doing it on my own behalf.
有白色连衣裙 And then there was this intensely poufy white dress.
由于薄纱和塔夫绸而显得朦胧 It gets a little hazy because of all the tulle or taffeta.
然后有了孩子 塔夫绸飘到门外去了 And then there was a kid, and then the taffeta floated out the door.
那个把我们带到了今晚 And that brings us to tonight.
今晚 Tonight.
真是一件事接着一件 What a cluster fuck.
你跟善于交际的人谈过话吗 You talking about the mixer?
是啊 Yeah. Mmm.
女人们老是以深思熟虑的方式 At these things, women insist on touching your forearm
碰我的前臂 in this very deliberate manner.
这些触碰是打算要交流 These touches are meant to communicate
聆听的高水准技巧 gold-star level skills in listening...
关联性上面 是啊 In connectedness. Oh, yeah.
你明白这种手势吗 Do you know about this kind of gesture?
你是说这个手势吗 Yeah. You mean this one?
是的 继续 Yes. Do go on.
继续 Do go on. Right?
就是这样 Yeah. That's it.
嗯…… Um...
爸 你不能整晚这么训她 Dad, you do know you can't lecture her all night, right?
她又不是小孩 She's not a kid.
是吗 Oh, really?
你把你的朋友带到我的房子里 You snuck your friend into my house,
你在这里没有发言权 I think you're lacking say-so here.
要是你让她整晚待在的储物柜里面 If you let her spend the night in your locker...
那是学校的财产 No, that's school's property.
要是你让她整晚待在你的背包里面 If you let her spend the night in your backpack. Yes. No, that's...
背包是我买的 Actually I paid for the backpack. Okay.
我猜那是我的财产 So I guess that's my property. I don't know.
为什么你不把案例放在一起 最后做个汇总 Why don't you put a case together. And come back.
好吧 当你找到可靠的论点 All right. When you got something solid.
我要去睡觉了 I'm gonna go to bed.
你确定吗 我可以再聊一会儿 You sure? We can talk about this more.
再见 Okay, goodbye.
晚安 宝贝 Good night, honey.
对于财产争论挺俗的 但是很快会让事情结束 The property argument is inelegant but it ends things quickly.
听着 我处理过很多日常生活里面的小人 Uh, listen, I deal with a lot of scumbag son a daily basis.
所以我一直赞赏说实话 So I've developed a real appreciation for the truth.
我一直在想你是否在说谎 I've gotta think that if you were lying,
你编造理由使其不是很怪异 you'd make up an excuse that's less fucking weird.
你也意识到重返年少生活以及 You do realize that reverting to a teenage life
偷偷潜入我家很怪异 是吧 and sneaking into my house is weird, correct?
是的 Right.
为什么你要试图在外面过夜 And why were you trying to sleepover?
嗯…… Uh...
我家公寓房租到期了 The lease on my apartment ran out,
这周找不到新住处 and I can't get into my new place for a week.
我的朋友 And my, my friends...
我不想 I just, I didn't want to, uh...
我不想把和父母和朋友卷起来 I didn't want to involve them or my parents.
好把 All right, um...
凌晨一点我不可能把你赶走 Fuck it. I'm not gonna kick you out at 1:00 in the morning.
哦 多谢 Oh, thank you.
你别睡在我孩子的卧室里面 You're not sleeping on the floor of my kid's bedroom.
你可以睡在客房里 I'm putting you in the guest room.
枕头够吗 Got enough pillows here?
是 是 谢谢 Yeah, yeah. Thank you.
别让这个成为我对子女教育方面最坏的一个决定 Please don't let this decision become bad parenting on my part.
不会 真的…… 我真的不会…… I won't. I really... I really won't
等等 他让你留下来了吗 Wait. He let you stay?
是啊 我住在客房 Yeah. I'm in the guest room.
安妮卡 我也要让你做些事 I'm gonna let you do something too, Annika.
做两个星期额外家务事 I'm gonna let you do additional chores for two weeks.
哦 不 是我的错 她有麻烦了 Oh, no, hey, look, it's my fault. she got in trouble.
她是做决定的人 She's the one who made the decision.
再扔个果馅饼给我 好吗 Hey, throw another tart in there for me, will you?
这是你家 It's your house.
是我家 我今天要在家工作 It is my house. You know, I think I'm gonna work from home today
因为我觉得我没理由信任你 because I really have no good reason to trust you.
请勿见怪 不要紧 No offense. None taken.
车到了 Yo, your ride is here.
帕特里克 Patrick.
咱俩怎么了 你什么都没写 What happened to us, man? You don't write anymore.
你的衬衫不错 听着 That's a great shirt. Listen.
我知道你想杀了你老爹 I know you want to kill your dad.
有时我也想 但我会尽量 Sometimes I do, too, but I'm doing my best
遵纪守法直到他不再世 to keep this case civil on his end,
卫生纸不管用 and toilet papering isn't gonna help.
如果你想对父亲形象来攻击解恨的话 So if you want to take some aggression out on a father figure...
咱俩单挑吧 Let's get scrappy, man.
你可以往前进 So you can move on.
嘶嘶 Whoosh!
你是离婚律师吗 You're a divorce lawyer?
是啊 他是我爸的离婚律师 Yeah, he's my dad's.
你现在住在这儿吗 Wait, do you live here now?
好吧 All right.
我们要去上学了 Yeah, we should go to school.
爸 停手 走吧 Dad, stop. Just go.
亨特先生 谢谢你的香蕉 Thanks for the banana, Mr. Hunter.
帕特里克 我是认真的 帮我解脱一下吧 Seriously, Patrick. Help me out, okay?
我并不是在开玩笑 I'm not... I'm not kidding actually.
嗯 好 Mmm. Good.
我破坏了她的饮食失调症了 I think I cracked her eating disorder.
真的 Really.
她对自己的身体如此自信 She is feeling so confident about her body.
是啊 我看得到 Yeah. I can see that.
看到邮件过来了吗 Did you see the mail come?
没有 No, not yet.
给我展示下 看看能玩什么样 Show me something. What have you got?
好 我来个翻转 Well, okay, I'm working on a flip.
你来个翻转 So you flip it around and... Whoa!
然后就能上了 你想来一下吗 And then you get on. You wanna go?
来吧 Come on.
我一把年纪了 I'm middle-aged.
看啦 试试吧 来吧 No, look. Have a go. Come on. Come on.
好吧 Okay.
站在那里 Just sort of like stand there.
你站在上面滑起来 像这样 You want to stand to make it go, like, this way.
好 Okay.
哦 天啦 差点打中了老二 好吧 这样不好 Oh, geez. That almost hit my dick. Okay. That's not good.
也许带上了辅助轮好些 Maybe we should get the training wheels for me.
祝你们今天愉快 Have a good day, you guys.
我可以信你一回吗 Can I trust you?
当然可以 Yes, you can.
好 要是需要什么 Okay, if you need anything,
钥匙在石龟下面 key's under the stone tortoise.
好 再见 All right. Bye.
再见 Bye.
Hey.
喂 Hey!
我刚在给别人的青春痘 I was just retouching some guy's
美图照片 back zits out of his baby shots.
听起来挺好玩的 That sounds lovely.
是啊 很有趣 很有趣 Oh, it was amazing. It was amazing.
研讨会怎么样了 How's the seminar?
太怪异了 It's so weird being away.
你走后 我一直在闭关工作 I mean, with you being gone,I've just been holed up working, and...
我怕见其他人 I'm afraid to see everyone.
因为我觉得如果看到他们 'Cause I feel like if I see them
我会跟他们说 I'm just gonna crack and tell them.
我一直假装做一个孤独的人 I've just been pretending to be some complete loner.
而真实的是我是一个秘密未婚夫 When really I'm a secret fiancé.
你这次收获很多吧 So are you getting a lot out of this?
是啊 是啊 Yeah. Yeah, you know, uh...
我的动物是只乌龟 想想看吧 My animal's a tortoise. Go figure.
乌龟吗 有意思 A tortoise? That's sweet.
我想你 I miss you.
哦 嘿 Oh, hey,
你老爸留了三封语音邮件 your dad has left like three million voicemail messages
你应该给他打个电话 so you should probably call him.
我怀疑他不知道你在奥卡斯岛 'Cause I'm assuming he doesn't know you're on Orcas.
我成了一个秘密的神学院学生 Oh, yeah, no, I was...I was being a secret seminarian.
讲得通 Makes sense. Yeah.
明智的选择 Wise choice.
谢谢 我也是这么想的 Thanks. I thought so.
我得走了 我得走了 Look, I've gotta go. I gotta go.
好 好 Okay, right. All right.
我爱你 很开心和你聊天 I love you. Glad I caught you.
我也爱你 再见 Love you, too. Bye, baby. Bye.
哦 嘿 Oh... Hey.
能陪我去看望我妈吗 Will you go with me to see my mom?
当然 Sure.
好吧 All right.
天啦 My God.
这是怎么啦 What is this?
嗯 Um...
我不知道 I don't know. It...
我就是有点想来找你 It just kind of felt like something I should do.
天啦 她在那里做柠檬水 God. She's been in there
都做了20多分钟 making lemonade for, like, 20 minutes.
不知道她出不出来 I don't think she's coming out.
带她上车 跟她说我很抱歉 Just take her and put her in the car and tell her I'm sorry.
尽量去做 And whatever else you need to.
我能跟她说什么 What could I possibly tell her?
我也想做一个好妈妈 That I thought I'd be the really cool mom
带她去演唱会 借我的靴子给她 that took her to concerts, and she'd want to borrow my boots?
后来才知道我没做过一件好妈妈应该做的事 But then one day I realized there's no such thing as a cool mom.
好妈妈其实就是坏妈妈 That the cool mom is really just the bad mom,
成了个笑话的妈妈 or the mom who has become a joke.
你是克雷格的女友吗 所以你才陪她过来吗 Are you Craig's girlfriend? Is that why you're here with her?
不 我只是她朋友 No. I'm just her friend.
她想要我怎么做 What does she expect?
做好柠檬汁 That you serve some lemonade,
问她5到10个生活问题 and you ask her five to 10 questions about her life.
你们待人太严厉了 You treat somebody badly enough,
你得承认他们会高兴让你们走 you just assume they'll be happy to let you go.
她说 她去拿些东西 She had... Said she had to get something.
那之后 So, after I...
你知道 You know...
我开始从事产品目录模特 I started doing a lot of catalog modeling,
后来是内衣模特 and I ended up doing a lot of lingerie.
我知道 我看过你的照片 Yeah, I know, I've seen your pictures.
哦 Oh.
好 Well.
总之 Anyway,
拍完这些乏味的摄影后他们送了我这些东西 they send me home with so many things from these stupid photo shoots.
我就是想 And I just thought that since,you know
你已经是一个大姑娘了 obviously, well, you're a growing woman...
也许这里有些你中意的 And, well, maybe there might be some things you like in here.
嗯…… Um...
你喜欢这个吗 Do you like this one?
是啊 很好 Yeah, it's really nice.
我觉得挺适合的 I think that's about right.
你喜欢黑色的吗 I mean, do you like black? Is black a color you like?
嗯 喜欢 Sure. Great.
好 我有好多 Great, I have more.
花边的怎么样 What about florals?
你喜欢睡衣吗 I mean, do you wear nightgowns? Or...
我有丁字裤 你喜欢丁字裤吗 I have thongs. Are you into thongs or no?
我喜欢带饰片的 I like that one with the bows.
好 Great. Yeah.
很漂亮 That's cute.
有地方放吗 Got room for that? Yeah.
我需要一个无带胸罩 You know, I really needed a strapless bra.
你确定 You did?
是啊 可以搭舞会礼服 Yeah. For my prom dress.
她给了我一个 太好了 It's actually really good that she gave me one.
是啊 是啊 很好 Yeah. Yeah, no, it's really good.
你应该来 You should come.
去哪儿 去毕业舞会 Where? To the prom.
星期六晚上 在联合湖船上 Saturday night. It's on this boat in Lake Union.
不行啊 记得吗 我星期六得回家 Oh, no,I've gotta go home Saturday, remember?
你知道 我得重新振作起来 把事情弄妥 You know, I've gotta get into my new place and sort everything out.
我不能这么浑浑噩噩了 I mean, I can't just float around forever.
不要 No.
来吧 你应该和我们在一块儿 Come on. You belong there with us.
抱歉让你久等了 你们现在可以点菜了吗 Hi. I'm so sorry to keep you waiting. Can I take your order?
来两份草莓松饼 Can we have two mondo chococinos
我们要去庆祝 and two boysenberry muffin tops. We're celebrating.
十块五 10.50, please.
给 谢谢 There you go. Thank you.
梅根 Megan?
嘿 Hey. Coinky-dink.
安东尼告诉我你在奥卡斯岛 Anthony told us that you were working on yourself on Orcas Island.
你可能没查留言吧 And that you probably weren't checking your messages,
所以你没回我们电话 so that's why you weren't calling us back.
你打电话了吗 Oh, did you call?
没 我电话关机了 No, my... My phone's been off.
梅根 你错过了萨瓦纳生孩子 Megan. You missed Savannah having her baby.
你是教母 And you are the godmother.
教母 The godmother!
朱庇特 Juppiter?
昨天 Yesterday!
不 他们取了卡里斯托的名字 No, and they went with Callisto
因为上周医院里有人叫朱庇特这个名字了 because someone at the hospital had a Juppiter last week.
哦 Oh.
卡里斯托（木卫四）是朱庇特（木星）的卫星 Callisto is one of Jupiter's moons.
我只知道艾奥 （木卫一） Oh, I only knew about Io.
我知道有64个卫星 Yeah, I learned there are 64.
总之 孩子生下了 Anyway, the baby is here.
你都没离开镇子 And you're not out of town at all.
你没全身心投入研讨会 You're not immersed in some seminar
让你的生活步入正轨 trying to get your life moving in the right direction.
你开车四处兜风 You are driving around getting chococinos with...
她到底是谁 我都不知道她是谁 Who the hell is that? I don't even know who that is.
哦 Oh.
梅根 我都不知道她是谁 Meg...I don't even know who that is.
不 No.
不 我们没嗑药 No. I'm not on drugs.
好 事情是这样 我没在奥卡斯岛 Okay, look, here's the thing. No, I'm not... I'm not on Orcas Island.
如果你一个高标准来看待奥卡斯岛 我现在就在奥卡斯岛 But I am on Orcas, if you think about Orcas on a bigger level.
象征性的 Like symbolically.
只是 I just, you know...
我需要一点私人时间 I just needed a second of personal time.
你知道 虽然是一周 You know, I mean, it's a week,
但对于我的人生而言 but in terms of my life, it's more like
却是安排事情妥当的好时机 just a second to get my shit together.
两三天后我就回去 好吗 And then... Then I'm going home in a couple of days. Okay?
我觉得我该告诉安东尼你没走 I feel like I should really tell Anthony that you never left.
你在说什么 What are you talking about?
天啦 你应该站在我这边的 Oh, my God. You're supposed to be my friend.
在他约我出去约会之前 I mean, it was you and me and Savan and Danielle
是 你 我 萨万 和丹尼尔 before he ever even asked me out.
我不会告诉他 But I'm not going to tell him.
谢谢 Thanks.
因为他买了戒指 他要向你求婚 Because he bought a ring. And he's going to propose to you.
是 对啊 他是要 Yeah. That's right. He did.
我帮他选的 真是不可思议 I helped him pick it out, and it's, like, incredible.
所以你要再三考虑一下 So I bet that makes you think twice about
多么荒唐你没去奥卡斯岛 梅根 how ridiculous you're being with this fake Orcas stuff. Meg...
我真的想参加你的婚礼 I really want this wedding for you.
不仅仅是婚礼 And it's not even the wedding.
而是我们是朋友 It's that we're friends.
就像我们的毕业舞会 不只是跳舞 It's like how our prom, it wasn't just a dance,
而是我们聚在一起 it was us getting ready together.
然后一起跟咱们的妈妈撒谎 And then how we all lied to our moms together.
住在便宜的旅馆 And stayed at the cheap hotel,
在脏泳池里面裸泳 and went swimming naked in that nasty pool.
我们都觉得那时很屌 And we all thought we were so cool.
但要是那天晚上你待在家里 But if you had stayed home that night,
故事就不是这样有趣了 then the stories wouldn't have made sense to you.
那晚你可能会什么事都没做 You wouldn't have been a part of everything that night meant.
我们是成年人 我们的生活是那个的10倍 And I just think now that we're adults, our lives are that times 10.
你在说什么 What are you saying?
我是说 我不会把事情弄糟 只是 I'm saying that I'm not going to mess things up for you. Just...
你不要把自己弄得一团糟 Don't mess them up for yourself.
好吧 刚刚是怎么回事 All right. What was that all about?
她给我留言了 Oh, she just had a message to give me.
我需要买些婴儿礼物 Um, I need get a baby gift,too
嘿 Hey.
你们俩要去哪儿 Where you two been?
恩 Um...
梅根带我去买了些新内衣 Megan took me to get some new bras.
哦 Oh.
怎么样 玩的开心吗 How was that? Was that fun?
开心 Fun?
我得去躺会儿 好吧 I'm gonna go and lie down for a while. All right.
米斯蒂会过来参加通宵晚会 Um, Misty is gonna come over and have a sleepover
因为明天不用上学了 'cause we have no school tomorrow.
为什么不上学 No school, why is that?
明天是职工培训日 Yeah, it's a staff development day.
好吧 别让米提斯碰我的贵重物品 Okay, well, keep Misty away from our valuables.
只是玩笑话 I was joking. That was a joke.
知道了 Yeah. I know.
再见 Goodbye.
要来点吃吗 Want some poppy snaps?
我完全不记得这个人了 I totally forgot about this guy.
天啦 赫歇尔 思拉舍 他妈妈穿的什么 Oh, my God. Herschel Thrasher. What was his mom on?
你真的没这样的机会 You really don't have a chance in life
让你妈妈戴腰链 if your mom wears a belly chain.
看看蒂梵尼 威名顿和她的的真牙 Look at Tiffany Wilmington with her real teeth.
天啦 Oh, my God.
她现在跟谁约会 Who is she dating now?
凯尔 斯特帕罗 对吧 Uh, Kyle Stempano, I think. Is that right?
我一点都不知道 I really wouldn't know.
我去拿些零食好吗 I'm gonna go get some snacks, okay?
好的 Okay.
待会见 Bye. Later.
和平 和平 Peace! Peace!
嘿 嘿 Hey. Hey.
进来 Come in. Yeah?
谢谢敲门 Thanks for knocking.
我想礼貌些 It's okay. Thought I'd be polite.
这是规则 Them's the rules. Mmm.
我能发会儿牢骚吗 Can I complain to you?
当然 说吧 Sure, go ahead.
现在感觉很有压抑 想去喝一杯 I'm so fucking stressed out right now, all I want is a drink.
我发现很有趣的是 I went for the box wine in the fridge,
冰柜酒箱里面的有年份的葡萄酒喝起来像自来水 and it's funny how much that vintage tastes like tap water.
酒箱不太好吧 Yeah, you know, I'm, yeah. The box stuff really is never very good.
啊 Ah.
你现在在干吗 So, what are you working on?
给对方律师写信 A letter to opposing counsel.
仲裁期间 委托人同意 During mediation my client agreed
归还她丈夫两把手枪 to give back two of her handguns to her husband,
现在她明确他们是周年纪念日礼物 and now she's decided they were anniversary gifts to her.
哇 真浪漫 Wow. That's romantic.
你会赢吗 Are you gonna win?
但愿如此 因为 I hope so because
看到一个母亲和她的枪分开了 会让我不好受 it would kill me to see a mother separated from her guns.
嘿 Hey, um...
不要紧 No, never mind.
什么 What?
想跟我去喝一杯吗 You want to come get a drink with me?
现在吗 Now? Yeah.
我应该跟他们待在一起参加通宵晚会 Well, I'm supposed to be in the middle of a sleepover.
他们就像小动物 他们像沙鼠 Oh, they're like little animals. They're like gerbils.
总是形影不离 They have next to no sense of time.
你不走吗 Aren't you leaving soon?
好吧 Yeah.
一瓶 One pop.
小心 Careful.
我们得快点 Okay, we gotta hurry.
别滑倒 Don't slip.
谢谢 Thank you.
嘿 Hey. Hey.
有人吗 好吧 Anybody here? All right.
服务员不会拿过来 Waitress won't give it to 'em.
对 Right.
所以他说 So he says, um...
嘿 Hey.
嘿 过得好吗 Hey, how you doing?
快要打烊了 Just about closing.
我正需要 我们想要一轮酒 Oh, well, that's perfect for our needs. We just want a round of shots.
波本威士忌 Bourbon.
波本威士忌 Bourbon. Hey.
喜欢你的风格 谢谢 Wow. Like your style. Thank you.
墨西哥餐厅波本威士忌 Bourbon in a Mexican restaurant.
我能要杯帕西菲科吗 当然 Can I get a Pacifico? Of course.
我觉得干杯有点俗 Uh, I think doing cheers is cheesy,
你要是需要碰杯 用我的手表 so if you need to touch glass to glass, use my watch.
我也是 So do I.
嗯 Mmm.
有时间再来一杯吗 You have time for another?
好 Yes. Yeah.
谢谢 Thank you.
有点压力了 Twist my arm.
朱尼尔那孩子怎么了 So, uh, what's up with that Junior kid?
我女儿爱上了那孩子吗 Is my daughter in love with that Rico Suave kid?
那是朋友和朋友间的特权 Whoa, that's friend-friend privilege.
很难说 Can't talk about that.
没有进展吗 Not much going on between the ears on that one, is there?
目前 她不需要他主动 Oh, you know, at the moment, she doesn't need him to be smart.
谢谢 Thank you.
我觉得你年轻时候容易些 Yeah, I guess it's easier when you're young.
你想要的只是单纯乏味地和他们在一起 All you need from someone is to feel stupid around them.
你年老时需要什么 What do you need when you're older?
你需要体会到与那种乏味的感觉 You need to feel like you're on
是同一一方面 the same side of what seems stupid.
哦 Oh.
你真的喜欢和她一起出去玩吗 You really like hanging out with her, huh?
是啊 Yeah.
你肯定你真得喜欢和她出去玩吗 You genuinely like hanging out with her?
我真的觉得她人不错 I genuinely think she's really cool.
恩 Huh.
我喜欢这孩子 对她好些 You know, good for her. I like that kid.
我爱她 I do, I do. I love her.
好 Good.
我对她有些严格 也许我对她不是足够得信任 I'm a little hard on her. Maybe I haven't been giving her enough credit.
她是个好孩子 She's a good kid.
至少她没停止过对我的关照 At least she didn't end up paying attention to me.
可能是件坏事 You know. Could be worse.
我不能回去 整理整理我的思绪 I can't go back and fix my own fucked up head but...
首先她没必须要 She doesn't have to
变得这样痛苦 是吧 get bitter in the first place, does she?
不 No.
我觉得咱们应该再和一杯 I think we need another drink.
再来一杯 再来一杯 Let's have a drink. Let's have a drink.
不必干杯 No cheers.
对吗 Right?
和尚和神父 You know, so, monks and priests, right?
他们说他们能够召唤神灵 They say they get their calling from God.
但那表明神通是来自外部的 But that means that it was from something outside.
而不是他们本身拥有的 是吧 It wasn't from something inside, right?
人人都觉得这样很了不起 And everybody thinks that that's just great.
是吗 Yeah. Right?
究竟是不是 What the fuck, right?
抱歉 Sorry, guys.
你们得结帐埋单了 You're gonna have to close your tab out.
-回家 -哦 - Going home. - Aw, man.
我……我…… I... I...
这是你的大衣 我一分钱都没有 This is your coat. So I don't have any money.
不 不 我来请客 No, no, no. My responsibility.
好 我让你拖延打烊了 Okay, good. I dragged you out.
这是你的钱 Put your money away.
这是付我的 这是付你的 Here, it's on me. It's on... It's on you.
这是付百事达的 真烦人 It's on Blockbuster. Gosh darn it.
刚刚很开心 That was fun.Yeah.
我想 Yeah, I just... I just wanna...
我就是想感谢你…… I just wanna say thank you for...
感谢什么 For what?
感谢你让我住下来 For letting me stay.
我喜欢让你住下来 Well,I loved having you, you know.
你人很好 You're good people.
而且 And uh...
哦 等等 Oh, wait,wait, wait, wait, wait... Wait, wait, wait.
我就是……就是…… I just... I just, uh...
我们不该在大街上乱来 I don't think we should finger-bang in the street.
哦 是啊 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
当然 You know? Of course.
不 不 不 我应该回屋子去 No, no, no, no, no. We should go to my... The house.
屋子 是啊 屋子 House, yeah, yeah, the house.
也许我们脱了安妮卡的T恤衫 Well, maybe we take Annika's tee-shirt off.
可能有点恐怖 Yeah. Maybe that's a little creepy.
是啊 Yeah.
很热 Yeah. That's hot.
我只是穿了件小恤衫 Yeah, I'm just wearing, like, a little tee shirt with,
和开裆三角裤 like, crotchless panties.
她跟谁说话 Who's she talking to?
我们数学老师 Our math teacher.
他知道是她吗 Does he know it's her?
不知道 好吧 No. Okay, good.
我去刷个牙好吗 I'm just gonna...I'm just gonna brush my teeth, okay?
好吧 你这样已经很好了 Yeah, yeah, you're good.
嘿 嘿 Hey. Hey.
嘿 Hey.
头疼吗 Got a headache?
是啊 Yeah.
这个是大学时期用的解酒良方 你要试试吗 This is an old hangover cure from college. You want one?
好啊 Yeah.
很科学 It's very scientific.
我没弄混吧 I'm not messing around.
没 No.
你知道 You know...
如果你想 你可以多住些日子 You can stay here a little longer if you need to.
我得回到我的新住处了 Yeah, you know, I've gotta get back into my new place.
那么…… So...
好吧 Okay.
我再给帕特里克和朱利安打个电话 All right. I'm calling Patrick and Junior again.
永远十六岁 Laggies.
我脸上有什么东西吗 Do I have something on my face?
我爸的唾液 Yeah. My dad's saliva.
哦 糟糕 Oh, shit. Yeah.
你觉得怎么样 How about that?
我我觉得你很漂亮 但是…… I think you're pretty but...
他是我爸 That's my dad.
我……哦 天啦 我……安妮卡 我…… I... Oh, God, I... Annika, I...
我不清楚发生什么了 I don't know what happened, you know. I mean...
我总是在想“你在干嘛，梅根？” I was thinking the whole time like, "What are you doing, Megan?"
不 不 不 我真的不需要详细过程 No, no, no, no. I really don't need details.
看 我想了好几个小时 Look, I've had a couple of hours to think about it.
一直在想他是多么得孤独 And I just keep thinking about how lonely he's been.
你知道他最近对我一直很严 You know, and how hard he's been trying with me lately.
我谈论他也多 And as much shit I talk about him...
我爱他 I love him.
我想他快乐 You know, and I want him to be happy.
我也想你快乐 And I want you to be happy.
如果你们俩能快乐地在一起 那…… You know, so if you two are happy together, then...
可能是件好事 It might be kind of cool.
明显我们出去玩他不能跟过来 但是…… And obviously, he can't come with us when we go out. But...
但要是他想带你去看电影或做其他事 You know, if he wanted to take you to the movies, or whatever,
我决定我不再插手这件事 I've decided not to lose my shit over it.
安妮卡 我认为那次约会 Annika,I don't think that dating
不是你爸和我的未来 is in the future for your dad and me.
你刚刚是不是在损亨特先生 Did I just hear you're boning Mr. Hunter?
不是那样的 No, it's not like that.
呃 Ew. Gross.
终于来了 Yo, finally.
忘掉吧 我现在已经到了 好吧 Fucking drop it already, I'm here, okay?
哦 心情很差 Oh, bad mood.
晚礼服地点在那一头 Hey, the tux place is at the other end.
那我们一个小时后再会合 All right,so we'll meet back here in like an hour?
要是没有我你还能活那么久的话 Sure. If you can live without me that long.
不确定能不能 I'm not sure I can.
明天晚上你得和他一起跳舞 You've gotta dance with him tomorrow night.
有这样打算 I mean, who's to say?
我想试穿这件 Okay, I'm trying this one on.
是你 It's you.
知道 I know.
不 No. No?
婚礼穿白色衣服 毕业舞会别穿 You wear white to your wedding. Not to prom.
闭嘴 我喜欢这件 Shut up. I like it.
棒极了 棒极了 This is it. This is it!
我看起来真得不错 I look so fucking good, man.
不知道为什么别的丫头会 I don't even know why those other chicks
这么费心地出席毕业晚会 are even gonna bother to show up.
觉得如何 What do you think?
看起来很可爱 Oh, you look so cute.
好吗 Good?
应该买这件 You should buy it. Yeah.
包里有口香糖吗 Do you have any gum in your bag?
就在那儿 短一些 Right there. Little shorter.
不能再短了 You can't take it a little more.
但是 喜欢短些 Yeah, but like, shorter.
你想我露臀吗 不 You want my ass out? No.
她想我露臀 She wants my ass out.
"A和M永结同心“ "A and M. Best couple forever."
他刻了字在上面吗 He had it engraved?
你结婚了吗 Are you married?
只是订婚了 I'm only engaged.
只是订婚了 Only engaged.
谁是A Who's the A?
你不知道他 You don't know him.
我爸知道他吗 My dad know about him?
不知道 No.
你要回到他身边吗 Are you going back to him?
是啊 Yes.
天啦 你甚至比我妈还差劲 God, you're even worse than my mom.
至少她和我爸闹翻了时候 You know,at least when she pulled my dad into her bullshit,
她不知道自己会离开 she didn't know she was gonna leave.
哦 该死 Oh, shit.
天啦 梅根 不要回头看我 God, Megan,don't even turn around and look at me right now.
你想要我发誓 我马上就发誓 I'll swear on whatever you want me to swear on.
我真的喜欢你爸 我不是装的 I really like your dad. I wasn't faking it.
你就是一个大骗子 You're a huge fucking liar.
就连你的假婚戒也是假的 Even your fake ring was fake at being fake.
谁知道你还对我隐瞒了别的什么 Who knows what else you're trying to lie to me about.
她真的很伤心 梅根 She's really hurt, Megan.
闭嘴 朱尼尔 你也和她也是一样 Oh, shut up, Junior. You pulled your own bullshit with her, too.
你难道想把他卷起来吗 Oh, don't you even try to bring him into this.
我开车时候能不能别嚷嚷 Can you please stop the fucking yelling while I'm driving?
谁鸟你爸的感情生活 Who gives a fuck about your dad's love life?
就是他每天帮人破坏 He helps break up other people's relationships
婚姻关系 every fucking day.
不要对你安妮卡这么刻薄 Don't be a dick to Annika
就因为你老爸是混球 just because your dad's a dick
她老爸只是养家糊口 and her dad's trying to bring home some cash.
闭嘴 米斯提 这么会…… Shut up, Misty! How does any...
不知道你今天抽什么风 I don't know what crawled up your ass today
安妮卡，想知道我今天抽什么风吗 You want to hear what crawled up my ass, Annika?
哦 天啦 Oh, God!
哦 天啦 Oh, my God.
哦 天啦 还好吧 Oh, my God. Are you okay?
有人受伤吗 你还好吗 Is anybody hurt? Are you okay?
-脖子还好吗 -我还好 - Is your neck okay? - Yeah, I'm fine.
好吧 Okay.
梅根 我喝酒了 I'm drunk, Megan.
他明年送我去寄宿学校 He's sending me to boarding school next year.
And she didn't even fight him on it.
I opened the bottle of wine you bought me,
and I put it in the OJ container.
I just didn't want to care anymore.
Okay.
Okay, everyone out of the car. Out of the car right now.
When the cops get here, I was driving.
The wheels slipped. I think my palms got sweaty.
Can you touch your nose with your left hand?
With...
Are you able to recite the alphabet backwards?
Uh...
Z-X-Y-V...
No, W, W, V... Oh, God.
I don't think that I could do that
even if I hadn't been drinking.
Have you been drinking?
No.
Please, stay here a moment.
I just wanted to say that
what you're doing for Patrick is pretty solid.
This officer thinks I've been driving drunk,
and I might be legally drunk. I don't know.
I had some gin this morning.
What the fuck, Megan?
Miss Burch, I'm going to ask you to take a breath test.
Is that okay with you?
Yes.
I want you to blow into this tube.
Continue to blow until I say stop. Is that understood?
Keep blowing please. Keep blowing.
That's good.
Miss Burch, I'm gonna ask you to turn around
and put your hands behind your back.
Hold your hands together,please.
Wait, no, she...She didn't do anything.
No, chill out, Patrick.
Please, relax.
This way, ma'am.
Annika,can you please call your dad to come, please?
Watch your head, please.
Are you in? Yeah.
What are you gonna do?
Burch.
Your lawyer's here to see you.
Thank you, Officer.
Well, I've planned your escape.
It's gonna involve a lot of soap.
We're gonna have to roofie this guy over here.
But I think we can do it.
Annika didn't tell you.
She told me.
I know Patrick was driving. And I know what you did for him.
I think it's a really stand-up thing.
Craig...
Uh...
I've got something to tell you, and you're gonna hate me.
I doubt that.
Uh...
I am not waiting for a new apartment.
My boyfriend, the one that I got "best couple" with,
he proposed.
And I needed some time.
I'm engaged to be married.
So you...
So you didn't lose your lease?
That's not why you've been staying over?
No. I just...
I needed to get my head together, and I gave myself a week.
When are you getting married?
Tomorrow.
You know, I mean, if I'm not in jail.
I, uh, we're eloping. I'm getting married tomorrow.
That's really something.
Yeah.
Tomorrow. Huh.
Congratulations.
I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. No, that's...
I'm such a shitty person. I really want to tell you everything.
The first time I met the kids, I bought them alcohol.
It never happened again,
but that's where Patrick got the wine from
and I went with Annika to see her mom.
So you met, uh...
Shit. I'm gonna stop there.
That's all the lies though. You know, the...
The rest is true.
However, I acted around you, that was true.
Whatever happened between us, that was true.
And I know that I shouldn't have kissed you.
I know I shouldn't have done that. It just got so confusing.
'Cause I had this feeling like I was already in love with you.
Say something.
The number you blew at the scene was borderline.
The number you blew at the station was under.
So they're gonna release you.
Something else?
Like what?
That I haven't felt connected to anyone I've flirted with
or casually seen or dated or slept with for years,
for I don't know how long.
That this was a rare deal.
That right now I'm aware looking at you, this could be it for me.
I never anticipated still having to find a place
where I'd fit in by the time I was an adult either.
I thought you automatically got one
once you had a job and a family.
But it's just you, alone.
Thanks for coming.
Hey, no problem. I'm happy to.
Do you want to tell me what happened?
No, nothing. It was a mix-up. They're not pressing charges.
Good. Good.
Listen, honey...
Dad, no, I...
I need you to know that I fucked up, too.
So I'm in no position to judge you.
What are you talking about? You can totally judge me.
I did something really stupid.
And it's gonna take a long time
before your mom can think well of me again.
You told her?
Yeah. I wasn't going anyplace.
I just had a moment in time where...
You know, I lost sight of who I was and what was important to me.
So you're staying together?
Yeah, we're gonna work on it. She wants to work on it.
Do you still think you were just shifting?
Well, that's what, you know, relationships are, you know?
Not the cheating part, that was my problem.
But you know, you don't just get into one and then that's it.
It's work, and it's always changing. It's always changing.
Yeah, I think I know what you mean.
Look, I was just happy to hear from you. Even if it was from jail.
Hey. Hey.
Baby.
Welcome back.
So I, uh, checked the chapel's photographer out.
He's no me, but he's done some okay work.
I think we're gonna have to paste in the Caribbean behind us
so our parents think we went further away and couldn't invite them.
Who's that?
I don't know. I got it.
All right.
Hey-o.
Misty.
Uh, what are you doing here?
Well, I brought the stuff you left behind from the crash.
Here. Oh, thanks.
Oh, and by the way,
Patrick's dad wants you to pay for his car repairs out of pocket.
Out of...
Nobody does that unless it's a scratch.
Yeah, well, he's a dick.
Oh, my God.
Anywho, um...
I'm also here to tell you that you need to come to prom.
Misty, I can't.
I know.
You and Annika are having a lot of issues right now.
But if you stop being friends after this,
she's gonna become, like, secretly tortured about it.
That's how she is.
I know she looks up to you.
That trip you got her to take to her mom's was huge.
And all this time you've been spending with us fucknuts.
Hey. Hi.
Who's this?
Uh, I'm Misty.
Hi, Misty. Yeah.
Megan's been mentoring me.
Right. At the seminar, she was in the junior program.
The junior program.
Oh, wow, that's cool.
What was your animal?
I'm my own animal.
Ah.
Right. I like that. I respect that.
Okay. Nice meeting you.
Yeah, you too.
He's cute.
Thanks.
Well, we bought you a ticket as Patrick's date.
Just come.
Attention, passengers.
Flight 514 has begun general boarding to Las Vegas.
Please, line up to the right of the podium...
Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Here we go.
Okay. Wait. Hold on a second. I know it's going to be bad quality.
But I need to capture this moment. Right.
Of course. Of course.
All right. Just gonna send this to the group.
They're over at the soft open for the restaurant.
We've got to celebrate with those guys as soon as we get back.
Why do you need to do that?
I'm not gonna send it to our parents.
I know that's a whole other conversation.
And... Done.
Why did you need to do that?
Well, I figured 'cause they can't be here,
it's our way of bringing them into it.
Oh, look, Allison already wrote back.
Oh, my God. I can't do this.
What? Oh, are you thinking...
You're thinking we need to have a real wedding.
I know, and you know what?
That would actually make me a whole lot more happy.
No. No, I mean that we can't be together.
Wait, what?
Oh, my God...
Oh, my God, I think...
I think I might throw up that I'm finally doing this.
Doing what? What are you doing?
Okay...
Um...
How am I gonna explain this to you, right?
Right, the animal thing, right? The animal thing, okay.
God, Anthony. That could never be my speed.
But... But if it helps you to understand what I'm trying to say to you,
then...
Anth, I'm a snake.
I'm a snake that's been dragging my old skin around with me
for way too long. I'm a snake.
No, you're not. No, no.
You have to see this about me.
I'm dropping out. I'm dropping out of the group.
Okay, I mean, that's okay, 'cause that's them,
and you can just cut down on
the amount of time you hang out with them...
'Cause that's just them. That's not us.
No.
No, you're still part of the group.
You and me, we're...
We're somewhere back there. You know, we're in the past.
Holy shit, Meg.
All this time?
No, no, God, no.
Not all of it.
Well, however long.
Holy shit.
This is it.
Yeah.
This is what it comes down to.
Yeah.
Waking up in the morning,
and never being able to see your face...
Ever again.
No, we can still be in each other's lives.
No, we can still...
We can still talk?
Yeah.
Yeah, right.
Sure.
Hey.
Hey. You came.
The smoky eye looks great.
Thanks.
Okay, what I did to your dad was wrong. But...
I just really, really fell for him.
Annika...
I broke it off with my boyfriend.
Yeah, well...
I guess I know what it's like to forget yourself
when you really, really like someone.
Okay, I'm gonna tell you two things
that I've gotten some perspective on
after being out of high school for a while now.
The first is that a lot of the math they're teaching you
that they swear you'll use in your life, you won't.
You're never going to need to use parabolas
and you really, really don't need to know shapes
that have more than eight fucking sides.
The second...
The second,
最近我有些观点 which I've only got some perspective on recently, but it's this.
你不能为了虚无缥缈的未来 You can't keep putting aside what you want
而不顾自己真正想要的 for some imaginary future.
你们就别抱怨了 跟着直觉走 You've just got to suck it up and go with your gut.
好把 大伙儿们 就是这样 All right, guys. This is it.
这是你的毕业舞会最后一首歌 This is the last song of your prom.
希望你成功 Make it good.
你要坐这儿吗 You gonna sit here?
好吧 All right.
操 我马上去做 Fuck it. I'm gonna do it.
好 Good.
嘿 Hey.
嗯…… Um...
我想告诉你 I wanted to tell you, um,
我对你感觉很强烈 I have serious feelings for you.
我想打断 And I would like to cut in.
而且…… And also...
朱尼尔 我想做你女朋友 Junior, I'd like to be your girlfriend.
你说你想在一起吗 So you're saying that you want to try and be together?
是啊 Yeah.
好 好 Okay. Okay.
好 Okay.
那…… So...
听说过一个成年女人 Did you hear the one about the grown woman
爱上了一个愤怒的律师吗 who fell in love with the really pissed off lawyer?
有意思吗 Is it funny?
非常有意思 It's really funny.
进来 Come here.
关门 Close the door.