- 嘿 - 嘿,亲爱的 - Hey - Hi, babe.
Dennis,你在干嘛? Dennis, what are you doing?
我要给你的墙上安一台电视机 我就是找不到钉子 I'm gonna mount a TV on your wall. I just can't find a stud.
所以你就在我墙上打了9个洞? So you made nine holes in my wall?
不是,那是装架子的,笨笨 No, those are for the shelves, dummy.
电视就装这儿,会非常棒的 The TV is gonna go right here. It's gonna be awesome.
就像是....就像是医院里那样 It's gonna be-- It's gonna be like a hospital.
哦,Dennis,我不要医院一样的电视 Oh, Dennis, I don't want a hospital TV.
我不要架子...那是谁的马? I don't want a shelf... Whose horse is that?
那是我表兄Teddy的大丹 That's my cousin Teddy's Great Dane.
我答应他帮他照看几个礼拜的 I told him I'd watch him for a couple weeks.
Teddy因为从几个拿枪对着他的黑人那儿逃走扭伤了脚踝 'cause Teddy broke his ankle running from some black guys that pulled a gun on him.
你为什么强调说那些强盗是黑人? Now, why is it important to tell me that the muggers were black?
他们不是强盗,他们是警察 They weren't muggers. They were cops.
那你干嘛不说他是从警察那儿逃走? So why don't you just say he was running from some cops?
不知道,我是说,是你有偏见,认为他们不是警察 I don't know, I mean, you're a racist for assuming that they weren't cops.
啊! Uhh!
你知道我对狗过敏的 You know I'm allergic to dogs.
过敏什么的,那些都是心理作用 Ack, allergies are all mental.
嘿 Hey.
这TMD的是谁? Who the hell is this?
那是Teddy That's Teddy.
出去,我要你们从这儿出去! Get out. I want you out of here!
你不能赶我走,我爱你! You can't kick me out. I love you!
不,不,拿着你的东西给我滚 No, no, get your stuff and get out.
我再也受不了了 I'm not doing this anymore.
你不能把我赶出去 我有居住权 You can't kick me out. I got squatter's rights.
到底是什么:是你爱我还是你有居住权? Which is it: you love me or you got squatter's rights?
我不觉得一定要两选一! I don't see why they're mutually exclusive!
哦! Ohh!
谢谢 Thank you.
哦,Liz,终于做了啊 Oh, Liz, finally.
是时候和他分手 It's about time you broke up with him.
他就是一废物 He's a comple loser.
哦,Jenna,别那么说 Oh, Jenna, don't say that.
你知道的,他还是有好的时候的 You know, he had some good moments.
嗨 Hi.
我买了甜甜圈 I got donuts.
怎么了,棕眼睛?我做了辣椒 What's up, brown eyes? I made chili.
嘿... Hey...
你要...不要叫点奶酪牛排? You wanna... wanna order cheese steaks?
貌似全和吃的有关啊 I guess they were mostly food related.
可他对我一直不错 But he was always nice to me.
哦,没关系 Oh, that's okay.
姑娘,你就尽情哭吧 Cry it out, sister.
不,我才不是在哭呢 No, I'm not crying.
我对那条该死的大丹过敏 I'm allergic to the stupid Great Dane.
那玩意儿今早添了我的眼睛 That thing licked my eyes this morning.
等等 Wait a minute.
Dennis和那条狗还在你家? Dennis and the dog are still in your apartment?
我给他一个礼拜时间找地方住 I gave him a week to find a new place.
恩 Ugh.
我们彻底分手了 We're completely broken up.
真的话,我要带你出去庆祝 If that's true, then I'm taking you out to celebrate.
女人之夜,我们会碰到点新人 A girls' night. We'll meet some new people.
哦,你是说去泡吧? Oh, you mean like at a discotheque?
哦,老天 Oh, boy.
我们什么时候能再见面? So when can we see each other again?
你穿的是什么? What are you wearing?
黑裙子? Black dress?
黑长袜? Black stockings?
参加葬礼啊 A funeral, oh.
很抱歉 I'm sorry, okay.
我一小时后打给你...对,再见 Let me call you back in an hour... yeah, bye.
你干嘛哭? Why are you cryig?
Liberty昨晚又输了? The Liberty lose again last night?
我没在哭 I'm not crying.
我过敏 I have allergies.
过敏全是心里作用,Lemon Allergies are all in the mind, Lemon.
我以前对花生油过敏 I use to have a wicked peanut allergy.
而现在呢,瞧瞧 And now, witness.
我知道从我的电话里,你能知道,我最近正约会呢 As I'm sure you surmised from that call, I'm seeing a woman of late.
是吗,那个幸运的女人是谁? Yeah, who's the lucky lady?
我就这么说吧,她是布什政府的高层 Let's just say she's a high-ranking African-American member of the Bush administration.
你在和赖斯约会? (美国国务卿~~晕) Are you dating Condoleeza Rice?
这我不能说 I'm not at liberty to say.
关键是,我的女朋友是个知识女性,和你很像 The point is, my lady friend is an egghead, much like yourself.
不是我一贯喜欢的那种,所以我需要你的建议 Not my usual thing, and I need your advice.
最近我们的交流很成问题 We're having a lot of trouble connecting lately.
她走是到处飞 She does a lot of traveling.
对,在总统屁股旁边做事 Yeah, and it must be hard for her to get cell phone reception
她一定也很难接电话 when she's so far up the president's butt.
看在你是个认不清状况的克林顿支持者的份上 I'm choosing to ignore that remark on the basis that you are a godless,
我就把你刚说的自动略过了 glassy-eyed Clintonista.
现在呢,我要送我朋友一点私人的礼物 Now, I wanted to get my friend something personal.
你说她会喜欢这个的标志着 Do you think she would prefer this handsome attach?
"你是个有内容的女人,我尊重你"的东西 which says, "You are a woman of substance, and I respect you,"
还是... or...
还是这个女士专用品的集合? this collection of ladies' unmentionables with snaps and openings all over the place?
前面那个? Attach?
好吧,知道了 I see, okay.
Jenna请上舞台 Jenna to the floor, please.
对,很不错 Yeah, it's pretty good.
不过我觉得胸部应该再多摆动 But I think the boobs should swing more.
对,那么我就能说:Rodney,别逼我过去 Yeah, then I could go: Rodney, don't make me come over there
用我的波波砸你的头!" and beat you in the head with one of my boom-booms!"
对 Yeah.
不怎么样 This is just appalling.
你怎么了? What's your problem?
我只是觉得老让黑人变装很不怀好意 I just think it's demeaning for a black man to do drag.
什么? 大家都喜欢看男人变装 What? Everybody loves a dude in a dress.
我的意思是,那是最好的笑点了 I mean, those are the best Bugs Bunnies.
Frank,有很多黑人文化 Frank, there are large pockets of African-American culture
是你们这些白人根本不懂的 that Caucasians know nothing about.
变装带来的侮辱就是其中之一 The stigma of drag is one of them.
随便啦 Whatever.
我以前演过女人啊 I've played a woman before.
"Hunky Grandma Be Trippin"票房有9600万呢 Hunky Grandma Be Trippin' made $96 million.
我要说的是...让你变装,是白人在削弱你 All I'm saying is-- is drag is a way for Caucasians
并且让你看上去没有威胁的方法 to emasculate you and make you seem non-threatening.
我们绝不会在"黑Frasier"里格调这么低下 (Frasier,著名喜剧,欢乐一家亲) We never would have stooped so low on Black Frasier.
黑Frasier? Black Frasier?
Niles,这些博若莱葡萄酒简直完美 Niles, this Beaujolais is impeccable.
味道甜美又成熟 It's both fruity and precocious.
这可不是这里唯一味道甜美又成熟的东西 That's not the only thing around here that's fruity and precocious.
我从来没听说过"黑Frasier" I never heard of Black Frasier.
什么? What?
那可是BET的招牌节目 (Black Entertainment Television黑人娱乐电视台) It was huge on BET.
每周四晚9点或9点15左右 Every Thursday night at about 9:00 or 9:15.
想想看,Tracy Think about it, Tracy.
所有最好的黑人喜剧演员都不愿意变装 All the best African-American comedians refuse to do drag.
Chris Rock不变 Cosby博士不变 Chris Rock doesn't do it. Dr. Cosby doesn't do it.
Bernie Mac不变,因为他太丑了 Bernie Mac doesn't do it 'cause he'd be ugly as hell.
算了吧 Forget it.
我不穿这些裙子了,这是在欺负我们 I'm not wearing this dress. It's prejudicial.
多谢了 Thanks a lot.
那这个段子怎么办? Now what am I supposed to do with this sketch?
我来吧 I'll do it.
我是说,我爸妈足有10年是把我当女儿养的 I mean, my parents raised me as a girl for, like, ten years.
怎么?我告诉过你们的 What? I told you guys that.
这就是今晚的节目了! That's our show for tonight!
下星期见! See you next week!
祝晚安! Good night!
还不错,我们会想想的 That's okay, we'll think of something.
很好,再见 All right, I'll see you.
周一晚是姑娘们的狂欢夜 Monday night is girls' night.
我9点半带你出去 I'm taking you out, 9:30.
我知道个唱卡拉OK的好地方,一边唱一边能修脚趾甲 I know this great karaoke place where you can get a pedicure while you sing.
哦,Jenna,我哪儿都去 Oh, Jenna, I'll go anywhere.
只要不是卡拉OK就行,拜托了 想想我们上次的合唱 Just, please, no more karaoke. Not after our last duet.
我在这里,你就要在那里 When I'm right here, you need to be here.
不是这里,这里太尴尬了 Not here. Here is embarrassing.
那好吧 Okay, fine.
我没那么说,我说你是个漂亮的女人 I didn't say that. I said you're a beautiful woman.
我只是说你应该尝试下新发型 It wouldn't hurt to try something different with your hair.
看看这个 Check this out.
我认为Jack是在和赖斯约会 I think Jack is dating Condi Rice.
哦,天哪,这可是大事情! Oh, God, that's huge!
哦,不,不.我从没说过绑住 我说的是结合 Oh, no, no. I never said braces. I said bonding.
伙计,那个Shamanda的角色是今晚最好的一个了... Dude, that Shamanda character was the best thing of the night..
她那句台词是什么来着?再说一遍 What was her line? Say it again.
Rodney! Rodney!
别逼我过去用我的波波砸你的头! Don't make me come over there and beat on you with my boom-booms!
你把我搞砸了! You burned me!
让黑人喜剧演员穿裙子没任何问题 There's nothing wrong with a black comedian wearing a dress.
Eddie穿了,Martin也穿了 Jamie Foxx, Flip Wilson也穿了 Eddie does it, Martin does it, Jamie Foxx, Flip Wilson.
Whoopi Goldberg每天都穿! (晕,人家是女的~~) Whoopi Goldberg does it every day!
你夺走了我的一个好机会! You stole a franchise from me!
Shamanda可以变成部电影的! Shamanda could have been a movie!
好吧,你得给他写个厉害点的段子了 Okay, you need to write something great for him
要不就真出问题了 before this becomes a problem.
我都不知道怎么给这么个家伙写东西 I wouldn't even know where to begin writing for a guy like that.
那就和他一起写 Then write something with him.
我们的小品应该不只是让大家笑 Our comedy gotta do more than make people laugh.
还得让人思考 Gotta make people think.
我想弄面能折射出我们社会的镜子 I wanna hold a mirror up to society,
然后得到全世界最大镜子的记录 and then win world record for biggest mirror.
他完全正确 He's totally right.
一定要新鲜! Gotta be raw!
恩恩 Uh-huh.
我有个主意,你应该会喜欢的 I got a concept for a sketch I think you might like.
你和Jenna扮演从失落之城来的Sleestak一家 You and Jenna play Sleestaks from Land of the Lost
你想弄比小额贷款 and you're trying to get a small business loan.
什么? What?
因为你要开家叫做Slee's Stacks的点心店 Because you want to open up a pancake house called Slee's Stacks.
你到底是不是黑人呀? Are you black?
Jack,一切都好吗? Jack, is everything all right?
我想我终于知道为什么和我女朋友之间总那么困难了 I think I figured out why things have been so rocky with my lady friend.
我在街上,听不清楚你说的 I'm on the street. I can barely hear you.
她骗了我,Liz She's cheating on me, Liz.
我觉得还有另外一个男人存在 I think there's another man in the picture.
你确定吗,Jack? Are you sure, Jack?
她看上去不像是个会骗人的女人啊 'Cause she kind of seems like an honest lady.
我知道我所知道的 I know what I know.
下次我见到普京的时候,我要把他的牙打下来 Next time I see Putin, I'm gonna kick his teeth in.
哦,有了! Oh, here it is!
"Izzle" (黑人常用后缀) Izzle.
意思是"任何一个词后面都可以加的后缀" "A suffix that can be used to take the place of anything."
我们现在可真会咬文嚼字啊 (patronize---patron"izzle",就这么加后缀) Well, now you're just being patronizzle.
你知道谁会喜欢这么争吵吗? You know who would love this argument?
我那个种族主义的祖父 My racist grandfather.
我以为和你一起是像兄弟一样合作 I thought writing with you was gonna be like two brothers writing together.
可我们说的好象都不是一种话 We're not even speaking the same language.
没错 That's right.
我说的是英语 I'm speaking English.
听着,你给我听着 Just listen, just listen.
得了吧,是谁把你养大的? Come on, who raised you?
好让你穿这么体面地站在这里 Standing there with your pants that fit.
用着皮夹,喝喝星吧克 Using a wallet. Drinking Starbucks.
这又是什么? And what is this?
那是我在哈佛的组合,叫Crocodillos That's my Harvard a capella group the Crocodillos.
我在Like A Prayer里有过独唱哦 I had a solo in Like A Prayer.
得了!你的根在哪里? Come on! Where's your heritage?
我的兄弟!我的伙计! My brother! My homeboy!
我的N... (Niggar,黑鬼) My n--
嘿,抱歉我晚了 Hey, sorry I'm late.
感谢上帝你来了 Thank God you're here.
这地方让我觉得很怪异 This place is creeping me out.
我觉得我做不来这个 I don't think I can do this.
你会做的很好的,他们都很可爱 You're gonna be great. They're cute.
你觉得他们是在华尔街上班的吗? Do you think they're Wall Street guys?
对,我觉得他们是Date-Rape,Coke-ington Cheeseball 或者Jag这些事物所里的 Yeah, I think they're from the firm of Date-Rape, Coke-ington Cheeseball, and Jag.
你得至少试一下 You've got to give this a chance.
请原谅,这位子有人吗? Excuse me. Is this seat taken?
哦,伙计,怎么?你要我把衣服拿走? Oh, really, dude? I gotta move my coat?
那里有至少4个空位子,酷一点行不? There's like four empty seats down there. Can't you just be cool?
恩 Ugh.
那家伙想请你喝一杯 That guy wanted to buy you a drink.
真的? Really?
可我已经在喝了 I already have a drink.
你觉得他会给我买跟干酪棒吗? Do you think he'd buy me mozzarella sticks?
你到底算怎么回事? What is the matter with you?
我不知道!我就是有紧张又不安 I don't know! I'm just nervous and rusty.
那么,放松点,做你自己 Well, just relax and be yourself.
给我杯马天尼好吗? 嗨 Can I have a martini, please? Hi.
哦,得了,他知道本拉登在哪里! Oh, he knows where Bin Laden is, come on!
凯雷投资集团,优尼科 The Carlyle Group. The Unocal Pipeline.
暗杀奥洛夫·帕尔梅 (瑞典首相,于1986年被刺杀) The assassination of Olof Palme.
得了吧,布丁里都能看到证据 Come on, the proof is in the pudding.
哦,这个很不错 Ooh, these are good.
真的吗你们觉得她长的像Jessica Simpson? Really, you think she looks like Jessica Simpson?
你只要戴上个长长的金色假发套你就会像Jessica Simpson了 You could put a long, blonde wig on a ferret and it would like Jessica Simpson.
顺便说句,Jessica Simpson会觉得你们又老又恶心 And by the way, Jessica Simpson would think that you are old and gross.
那就祝好运了 So good luck with that.
我真的不觉得我今晚能碰到什么人 I really didn't think I was gonna meet anybody tonight,
可是你和我有那么多共同点 but you and I have so much in common.
还有,你的眼睛真的很漂亮 哦,嗨 Also, you have really pretty eyes. Oh, hi.
我17岁就学到了真理,那就是只有选美小姐们才能得到爱情 I learned the truth at seventeen. That love was meant for beauty queens.
嘿,你是要赶我们走吗? Hey, you're bumming us out.
或者是那些皮肤白皙,笑容可爱的高中女生 And high school girls with clear skin smiles.
她们能结婚然后就不用干活 Who married young and then retired.
哦 Whoa
我还以为酒吧要营业到4点呢 I thought bars were open till 4:00.
不是,是11点半,我送你上床 Nope, 11:30. Let's get you to bed.
人力资源部的 ... from human resources.
嗨 Hi.
他告诉我说Toofer投诉说Tracy骚扰他 He told me that Toofer filed the harassment complaint against Tracy.
什么? What?
现在我要去上敏感体验课了 Now I have to attend sensitivity training.
到底是什么问题,Toofer? What seems to be the problem, Toofer?
Jordan先生用了...N字头叫我 (Niggar,黑鬼) Mr. Jordan called me... the N-word.
然后呢? And?
我觉得我被侵犯了 And I was really offended.
因为... Because...
因为那是种族歧视 Because it's a racial slur.
兄弟之间就是那么叫的 Brothers talk to other brothers like that.
我只是想友好点 I was being friendly.
没错,Toofer Yes, Toofer.
看,在最近的十年里,黑人社区 You see, in the last decade or so the African-American community
已经把那个词用出了合适的别的意思了 has re-appropriated that word as a way of depriving it of its meaning.
反正别跟我女朋友说那个 Just don't try to tell my girlfriend that.
对,Toofer,我觉得Tracy真没有歧视的意思 Yeah, Toofer, I really don't think Tracy was trying to offend you.
我们之间这么说没问题的 It's okay for us to use it with each other.
你也能那么叫我,这是一种爱称 You can call me that. It's a term of endearment.
听着,我不想惹麻烦 Look, I'm not trying to cause any trouble.
我对于你为节目所做的事情很欣赏 And I confess I appreciate what you do for the show.
我也希望你当我的兄弟,我的伙计,我的N... (还是Niggar,黑鬼~~) I want you to be my brother, my homeboy, my n--
哦! Whoa!
会议改期 This meeting is adjourned.
非常不好,伙计! No cool, homie!
你就像在用消防水龙头砸我 You might as well spread me down with a fire hose.
从你嘴巴里出来充满了恨意!啊! Just sounds so hateful coming from you! Ugh!
我要投诉 I wish to file a complaint.
嘿 Hey.
Dennis,你在这里干吗? Dennis, what are you doing here?
嘿,我正要搬到新房子去 Hey, I'm moving into my new apartment.
所以我最后要对你说几句 So I got one last thing to say to you,
然后我就将永远消失在你的生活中了 and then I'll be out of your life forever.
"亲爱的Liz Lemon "Dear Liz Lemon,
"别的女人有比你更大的波波 "While other women have bigger boobs than you,
"但没有别的女人有比你更大的心胸 "no woman has as big a heart.
"当我昨晚看到你出去 "When I saw you getting ready to go out
"准备吊一群男人时 "and get nailed by a bunch of guys last night,
"我知道我们间确实完了 "I knew for sure it was over between us.
"自从1986年世界杯后,我第一次哭了" "And for the first time since the '86 World Series, I cried".
"我哭的像个娘娘腔同性恋" "I cried like a big dumb homo".
"如果让我选择的话,我要我们永远在一起 "And if it was up to me, we would be together forever.
"但现在有种新东西叫'妇女解放' "But there's a new thing called 'women's liberation'
"给了你们女人选择的权力 "which gives you women the right to choose,
"而你选择抛弃我 "and you have chosen to abort me.
"我只有试着这样生活下去 "And that I must live with.
"所以你今晚到家的时候,我已经不在了 "So tonight when you arrive home, I'll be gone.
我正式宣布放弃我的居住权" I officially renounced my squatter's rights."
我会永远爱你的 I'll always love you.
再见,祝好运 Good-bye and good luck.
我永远不会把你忘记的 I'll never forget you.
所以说我们俩就不能成一对 And that is why we are no longer a couple.
那个男人刚刚过来把灵魂都给了你 The guy just came in here and bared his soul to you.
你是什么,石头做的? What are you, made of stone?
是我疯了吗?那家伙就是场灾难,不是吗? Am I crazy? The guy's a disaster, right?
那个,我不太清楚 Well, I don't know.
我是说,没错,他是有点不上台面 ("bridge and tunnel"指从纽约周边地区搬到纽约的人,贬意) I mean, yeah, he's a little "bridge and tunnel,"
可你也说了你们俩还是有过好时光的 but you did say you had some good times.
不,不,不,他同样也有糟糕的时候 No, no, no, he had his bad moments too.
嘿 Hey.
三人行? Threesome?
怎么样,啊? How about it, huh?
恩! Mmm!
我只是说... I'm just saying...
经过昨晚的事件后... after last night...
也许他对你而言也不是太糟 maybe he's not such a bad choice.
你是要我和Dennis复合? You are suggesting that I get back with Dennis.
也许吧 Maybe.
看,你是个写手 Look, you're a writer.
写张Dennis好处和坏处的单子 Write a list of Dennis' pros and cons.
会很有帮助的 It's a very helpful exercise.
我就是这么觉得要滑板车而不是自行车的 It's how I decided to get a scooter instead of a bike.
啊 Ah.
那个,你得承认,你总有时间留给托尼布莱尔 Well, you have to admit there's always time for Tony Blair.
总有时间留给巴沙尔·阿萨德 (叙利亚总统) There's always time for Bashar al-Assad.
却从来没时间给Jack Donaghy,这就是问题所在 But there's never any time for Jack Donaghy, and that's a problem.
去吧,接电话吧,对 Go ahead, take the call, yeah.
嘿,Dennis,你过来和Liz打招呼? Hey, Dennis, you drop by to say hi to Liz?
你是说前未来Dennis太太? You mean the ex-future Mrs. Dennis?
她又甩了我一次 She dumped me again.
很遗憾 I'm sorry to hear that.
你知道的,你想让人家高兴 可不是每次都成功 Yeah, you know, you try to make some people happy, but it doesn't work all the time.
跟我说说 Tell me about it.
什么,你? What, you?
我真的不能说细节 I really can't go into detail.
那是关于我的女人和我在一起的时候 It's about when my woman and I are together,
真费脑筋...那是,恩... it's mindblowing. It's, uh...
不是好事情 It's filthy, really.
那问题是什么呢? So what's the problem?
那个么,她就知道工作 Well, she works all the time.
她总是飞来飞去,真让人头疼 She's always traveling, it's a headache.
谁需要那个呀? Who needs that?
所以我一直只和20来岁的姑娘约会 That's why I'm always dating 20-year-olds.
不,让我来告诉你些20来岁姑娘的事情,我的朋友 Nah, let me tell you about 20-year-olds, my friend.
她们中的一半只有16岁,要点建议吗? Half of them are 16. You want some advice?
像你我这样的成功人士就是很难不自我啊 It's hard for alpha males like you and me to put our egos aside,
但是如果她值得这么做的话,你就得做 but if she's worth it, you make it work.
就像我表兄Teddy的狗 It's like my cousin Teddy's dog.
有时候它就是不想添我的脚 Sometimes he just doesn't wanna lick my feet.
所以我怎么做呢,我就把我的脚藏几天不让它看到 So what I do is, I hide my feet from him for a couple of days,
然后等它看到了,它就立刻兴奋了 and then when he sees them, he goes bananas.
所以Jack,在这个例子中,Liz就是那条狗 So Jack, in this example, Liz is the dog.
我就是我的脚 And I am my feet.
明白我说的了吗? You see what I'm saying?
是的,哦想我明白 Yes, I believe I do.
你们在这里都是因为和同事有问题,对不? Each of you is here because you are insensitive to a co-worker, okay?
你们也许用了一些词,我就拿"啊哈"来代替 You might've used one of the words I call the "uh-oh" words.
比如说,荡妇 Such as, slut.
哦 Ho.
恩,婊子 Uh, bitch.
波一奥~婊~子 Biyatch.
Queerburger Queerburger.
Faggotron Faggotron.
Gaybird (皆为歧视同性恋用语) Gaybird.
恩,或者任何语言中的"黑人" Uh, the word for black in any language,
Nero, noir, schwartz negro, kam-an-sek N閞o, noir, schwartz, negro, kam-an-sek.
恩? Hmm?
那么 还有吗? So. What else?
我们还不能怎么说别人? What else can we not call each other?
臭哄哄的拉丁人怎么样? How 'bout sweaty greaseball?
哦,非常好,这个相当粗鲁 Ooh, very good. That's highly offensive.
有色人种 Person of color.
如果你那么说的话... Guess if you say it like that.
偷我手表的贼眉鼠眼的台湾人 Sneaky Taiwanese tranny who stole my watch.
啊哦! 对! Ho-ho! Yes!
这些词非常不好 These words are terrible.
不过今天呢,我们要学着用种别的方式来沟通 But today, we are going to learn to communicate in a different way.
我想从Tracy和James开始 And I would like to start with Tracy and James.
伙计们? Guys?
现在,我知道你们俩昨天有过不愉快 Now, I understand that the two of you got into a big 'ol conflict yesterday.
那么...我们就来解决吧 Tracy And...let's work this out. Tracy.
你到底要对James说什么? What did you really want to say to James?
我是想告诉他,他是我兄弟 I'm tryin' to tell him he's my brother.
我们是这个节目里仅有的两个黑人 We're the only two blacks on the show.
我们得想办法一起工作 We have to figure out a way to work together.
就像马丁.路德.金教授说的 我有种感觉 Like professor Martin Luther King said, I have a feeling.
那是马丁.路德.金博士,他不是有感觉,他是有一个梦想 It's Dr. Martin Luther King, and he did not have a feeling, he had a dream.
啊,穿卡其布的家伙 Ah, dude wear khakis.
TOM叔叔,开始咯 Uncle Tom, party of one.
你要是从来没读过书的话就别瞎说! You can't call someone that if you've never read the book!
什么书? What book?
你知道我怎么想的? You know what I think?
我觉得你因为是黑人而耻辱 你觉得你的社区对你是种侮辱 I think you're ashamed of being black, and you're an embarrassment to your community!
是因你而耻辱 I embarrass you.
你让我觉得耻辱,你知道为什么吗? You embarrass me, and you know why?
因为这个世界上的确存在种族主义者 Because there are racist people in this world,
当他们看到你像个笨蛋一样 他们就会认为我们都是笨蛋 and when they see you act like a fool, they assume we're all fools.
就是这样! 就是这样 That's it! This is it.
我们应该演个这么的小品 This is the sketch we should do.
什么? What?
就这样,你和我! Right here, you and me!
这会是个有深度的东西,我们就该写这个 This is deep stuff goin' on. We gotta write this.
你说的没错 You're right.
Ah-ha-ha! Ah-ha-ha!
Snoo博士,非常感谢! Dr. Snoo, thank you very much!
Smew Smew.
哦.哦.OK Oh. Oh. Okay.
这可不符合规矩 That's really against the rules.
Dennis? Dennis?
哦,我的天 Oh, my God.
"我知道你可能会很激动,所以冰箱里有个肉饼三明治" "I know this might be emotional for you, so there's a meatball sub in the fridge."
哦! Oh!
"好处:把电视装好了" "Pro. Fixed TV."
恩 Huh.
你好,我是Jones Hello, I'm Star Jones.
欢迎来到Star Jones胃旁道厨艺秀 And welcome to the Star Jones Gastric Bypass Cooking Show.
恩 Mmm.
Liz,那个Tracy和我一起写的关于种族关系的段子呢? Liz, what happened to the race relations sketch Tracy and I wrote?
哦,我们只有一个段子的时间了,Tracy挑了这个 抱歉 Oh, we only had time for one more bit, and Tracy picked this. I'm sorry.
你们知道,我只能吃很小一块 Now you know, I can only eat small portions.
哦,老天啊!甜食 Oh, my goodness! Dessert.
没错,这个是比较有趣 Okay, he's right, this is funnier.
- 猜我昨晚在哪里 - Mark Foley的睡衣派对 (美国议员,同性恋) - Guess where I was last night. - Mark Foley's pajama party.
不是 No.
坎大哈 Kandahar.
阿富汗? Afghanistan?
对 Yeah.
坐着公司的飞机去和我的爱人约会去了 Took the corporate jet to hook up with my neo-con inamorata.
那么,很高兴你和你的秘密情人把问题解决了 Well, I'm glad things are working out for you and your mystery lady.
其实呢,也没有啦 Well actually, they're not.
我和她分手了 I broke up with her.
真的吗? Really?
发生什么了? What happened?
我终于认识到,我们俩不配 Well, I finally realized that we're not compatible.
我是说,我喜欢幻想,可是... 阿布格莱布? I mean, I'm all for fantasy role-play, but Abu-Ghraib?
反正,你知道,关系结束了 Well, you know, relationships end.
人们总会...往前看 People...move on.
但我很高兴我总算试过了 But I'm glad at least I gave it a shot.
谢谢Dennis让我这么做了 Thank Dennis for making me do that.
Dennis? Dennis?
对 Yep.
我可能对他太刻薄了点 You know, I might've been too hard on that guy.
他还行 He's okay.
恩 Hmm.
"Jack喜欢Dennis "Jack likes Dennis.
"Jack喜欢Dennis" "Jack likes Dennis."
在Snapple,当水果成熟了 他们就要和别的水果混合了 At Snapple, when young fruit ripens, they may want to combine with other fruit.
- 嘿 - 嘿 - Hey. - Hey.
我,恩,就过来先把圣诞礼物送给你 I just, um, just wanted to drop off your Christmas present.
我已经帮你买好了,就... I had already bought it for you, so...
哦... Oh...
很不错的公文包,你知道的,因为你很重要 It's a fancy briefcase, you know, 'cause you're classy and important.
像个男人 Like a dude.
谢谢,Dennis Thank you, Dennis.
我,恩,还给你弄了点抗组胺剂 I, uh, also got you some antihistamine.
万一你下一个男朋友是有狗的,你要和他住在一起 In case the next guy you're with, you know, has a dog and you wanna stay with him.
反正... Anyway.
想一起吃饭吗? Do wanna eat?
什么? What?
我买了很多中餐 I got all this Chinese food.
我一个人吃不完,所以... I'm never gonna finish it by myself, so...
真的? For real?
我要,恩,拿个盘子吗? Should I, um, grab a plate?
好的,给我拿瓶低糖汽水 Yeah. Get me a diet soda.
好的 Okay.
晚上好,欢迎收看Dateline Good evening and welcome to Dateline.
Chris Hansen有了最新的调查 Chris Hansen has our latest investigation--
有人吗? Hello?
晚上好,先生 Good evening, sir.
我是NBC Dateline的Chris Hansen I'm Chris Hansen with Dateline NBC.
能问问你今晚为什么过来吗? Can I ask you what you're doing here tonight?
哦,那个啊,我是过来找那个叫Mary的小妞的 Oh, yeah, I'm here to boff some chick named Mary.
小妞 Boff some chick--
哦,老天哪 Oh, my God.
你知道Mary多大吗? Do you know how old Mary is?
知道啊,22岁,貌似是 Yeah, uh, 22. I think.
想再来一次? You wanna try again?
该死 Crap.
那姑娘说她16岁,可我发誓她看起来有22岁 That girl said she was 16, but I swear to God I could tell she was 22.
给我出去! Get out of my apartment!
我们当时已经分手了 This happened while we were broken up.
不,不,不,不,我是对的! No, no, no, no. I was right about you!
这是坏处,你上Dateline是坏处! This is a con, by the way. You on Dateline is a con!
知道吗? You know what?
我就知道你会发火 I knew you wouldn't be cool about this.
我们完了 We're finished.
你不能甩我,我已经先甩了你的 You can't break up with me. I already broke up with you!
好吧! Fine!
那我们俩算同意我们的分歧了! Then we agree to disagree!