FANTOPIA
翻托邦字幕组
酷儿们 第六集
Fantopia字幕组制作
FANTOPIA
翻托邦字幕组
城里最安全的地方
基思·贾勒特
翻译 Nok 所以今天吃什么 Yatamisaki 压制&特效 Yatamisaki 校对 Virus Killer
1941年 纳粹德国对英国首都伦敦实施战略轰炸 史称伦敦大轰炸 轰炸范围遍及英国的各大城市和工业中心 一直到不列颠战役结束 伦敦已被轰炸超过76个昼夜 超过4.3万名市民死亡 并有约10万幢房屋被摧毁
我需要来一杯 那是肯定的 I require a drink. That... that is for certain.
尽管我在这儿会被看见 有人会叫我的名字 I'll be seen here, though. Someone'll bring up my name and say,
"在那儿站着的 不是安德鲁的男人吗" "isn't that Andrew's boy standing over there?"
安德鲁的男人 Andrew's boy.
你会觉得这里是荒野乡村 You'd think this was a bush village.
那边才是荒野乡村 Bush village, that way.
苏豪区 1980年代前是红灯区 布鲁姆斯伯里 20世纪初曾为文化艺术中心 皮卡迪利广场 戏剧及娱乐场所
苏豪区 布鲁姆斯伯里 皮卡迪利广场 都是些小丑 Soho, Bloomsbury, Piccadilly Circus - full of clowns.
剩下的地方要么很穷 要么很浮夸 Everything else is either slum or pompous,
基本没有夹在中间的 and little in between.
我知道我在说什么 I know what I'm saying.
我走遍了这座城市 所以我了解它的一切 I've run the length of this city, so I know it all - all of it.
港口附近地区 曾是一个拥挤的贫民区
伦敦东区也一样 The East End too.
我不是指在白教堂大街来回溜达 And I don't just mean cruising up and down Whitechapel High Street
像那些老基佬一样 不 我是说在码头 like those old queens do, no. I mean down by the docks.
来自世界各地的工人 有粗壮的手臂 Workers from around the world with big load-lifting arms.
天哪 Oh, my God...
如果他们的工装裤能说话 If their overalls could speak,
它们会让整个上流社会羞愧 they'd shame up the whole of polite society.
有中国人 从西印度来的 还有别的地方 There's the Chinese, and people from the West Indies, and more.
当然还有当地人 And the locals, of course.
手和帝国葡萄酒一样糙 Mmm. Hands as rough as Empire.
但在那 从来就不缺小巷子 But down over there you're never far away from an alleyway,
也不缺"嫖同性恋" and a "poof roaching".
是的 他们称自己为"同性恋嫖客" Yes, that's what they call them - "poof roachers".
那些人事后还不如把你丢下等死的好 The men who might just as well leave you for dead afterwards.
等他们享受完之后 That's after they've taken their pleasure.
一顿揍 你的钱也没了 The beating come, and your money go.
要是他们觉得 Threats to involve the law
你还有点身份的话 就威胁说要打官司 if they believe you've got a reputation worth looking out for.
不 伦敦东区不适合我 No, the East End is not for me.
我要的东西更难想象到 What is for me is much harder to fathom.
舞厅 剧院 烟雾缭绕的酒吧 This mess of dance halls, theatres, smoke-filled bars
没完没了的八卦一团糟 都吸引着我 and endless gossip that draws me in,
紧紧围绕我 holds me close.
这个荒野乡村 This bush village.
三年前 差不多是我刚来的时候 Three years ago - almost to the day when I first come here -
南安普顿的船坞是我抵达的地方 Southampton docks was where I first arrived,
所有海上的漂泊和微笑 all sea-legged and smiley.
我自以为知道一切 知道一切关于 I thought I knew it all. I thought I knew all there was to know about
祖国 水仙花 一战的伟大诗人 the motherland, and daffodils, and the poets from the Great War.
我以为我知道要期待什么 I thought I knew what to expect.
我爸爸曾告诉过我 这里的寒意 My daddy told me about the way cold here
会顺着你的手指和脚趾滲入骨髓 creeps into your fingers and toes until your bones weep.
他和我喋喋不休英国板球队 He talked me to death about the English cricket teams.
他给我装好球棒和护膝 说 "你走吧 He packed me a bat and some kneepads and told me, "off you go.
如果你不能成为像我一样的运动员 If you can't be a sportsman like me,
最好去混个文凭 best go get yourself a proper degree.
找份好工作再回来 Come back with a profession.
去当个律师 或者医生 Make yourself into a lawyer, or doctor,
还有别给我们丢脸" and don't bring no shame on we."
就这样 And that was that.
我自由了 I was free.
我当时快二十二岁 未婚 没有工作 I was almost 22 and unmarried, no profession,
但我的成绩足够让我上法学院 but more than good enough grades to get me into law school.
但我不想去那的法学院 But I didn't want law school over there,
其实我也不想在这上法学院 and I didn't really want it here either.
我想要的 一直想要的 What I wanted, what I still want...
是更难想象的东西 it's much harder to fathom.
但不是一个老婆 But it doesn't look like a wife,
和体面的工作 or a briefcase.
1938年 来得真是时候 1938, yes, and what a time to arrive.
我一个人度过了春天和夏天 I had the spring and summer to myself.
去了康沃尔 威尔士 苏格兰 乡下 I saw Cornwall, Wales, Scotland, countryside,
见了各种我不理解的人 all kinds of people I didn't understand.
我第一次见到白人贫民 I saw poor white people for the first time.
一个白人拖拖拉拉地扫着大街 A white man trundling along with a broom sweeping the streets.
白人在乞讨 White men begging.
年老的白人深陷的眼睛 Old white men with sunken eyes,
从二十年前的战争一直迷茫到现在 still lost from a war they'd fought two decades before.
我很困惑 I was confused.
我爸爸从来没说过这一切 My father never tell me about all that.
在威尔士 我为一名绅士当贴身男仆 In Wales, I became a valet for a gentleman.
他可怜的妻子 Oh, his poor wife.
要是她知道我们俩背地干的事 If she ever knew the things we did behind her back.
告诉你 我爸爸给我的护膝有用了 My daddy's kneepads come in handy, I tell you.
但我在威尔士没呆多久 But Wales was not for long.
伦敦才是我想去的地方 London was my calling.
我回来之后 当人体模特赚了点钱 When I come back here, I made a few shillings as an artist's model.
全裸地站着一动不动 整个城市继续运转 Standing naked and still while the city ran around me,
用不同的眼神指责我 painting me all different shades of wrong.
一段时间之后 当画家让我到画板的另一侧去时 At some point, though, I stopped looking at the finished work
我就不再看完工的画了 when the artist called me round to the other side of the easel.
有时候 比起心知肚明 Sometimes it's best to keep your eyes closed
还是睁一只眼闭一只眼好 while keeping your eyes open.
在布鲁姆斯伯里 我开始和那些放荡不羁的艺术家混在一起 I started moving with the bohemians in Bloomsbury.
他们都是画家 作家 煽动者和马屁精 They were all painters and writers and rabble-rousers and hangers-on,
他们的圈子接受了我 and I was adopted into their group.
他们的弗雷迪 Their Freddie.
我不记得他们叫什么了 I don't remember all their names,
但他们的床柱我很熟悉 but their bedposts I can describe in great detail.
有些人是四根帷柱 Four-posters, some of them,
有的就在画室中间摆个躺椅 or sometimes a chaise longue in the middle of a studio.
小小的房间 咯吱响的地板 Tiny lickle rooms with laughing floorboards.
我们在自带酒水的派对喝到深夜 在那些地方 We'd have late nights drinking at the bottle parties, those places
比如踢踏舞厅 - places like the Shim Sham -
你能找到一个舞伴 而不是和影子共舞 where you had someone other than your shadow to dance with.
你可以抱着另一个男人 抱紧他 You could press another man to you, hold him close,
感觉他顶着你的屁股 慢慢变硬 feel him stiffen against your hips,
然后 释放 and then... release.
你得跟着音乐滑动 You had to glide with the music, you see.
除非酒吧里有人叫警察 That's unless someone at the bar had called for the police,
当你听到噼里啪啦的脚步声 in which case when you heard the footsteps raining down,
你就抓住旁边女士的手 you took the hand of the nearest lady.
一气呵成 It was a fluid movement.
然后有一些社交聚会 Then there were the soirees,
就是他们所谓的三人或三人以上的调情 and what they called dalliances between three - or more - of us.
就在那时 And it was just then,
就在我要思考我的学业时 just as I was going to think about my studies,
在所有人当中 in amongst all of them,
在房子的中间 看到了他 in the middle of the room, there he is.
安德鲁 Andrew.
就像喝下一整瓶朗姆酒 As sweet and as dizzy-making
让人甜蜜又晕眩 as an entire bottle of Wray Nephew rum.
他的年龄比我大一倍多 He's over twice my age on paper,
但我的血液里有一种东西 but there is that something in my blood
把我拉向这个可爱又复杂的男人 that draws the sweet and complicated to me.
他有一副狡黠的笑容 He has this wicked grin,
他的屁股 和我过去常去的大英博物馆里 a posterior like one of those marble statues
一座大理石雕像的屁股一样 I used to go visit at the British Museum.
有双你想一直珍惜的大腿 Thighs you'd want to hold on to for years.
他把我画进他的生命 He painted me into his life,
带我到他的画室 he carried me into his studio,
我们一个月都没有离开那里 and we did not leave it for a month.
然后... And then...
后来 Oh, and then.
伦敦的上流住宅区
我记得在贝尔格拉维亚 I remember seeing myself
在他画廊墙上的一张水彩画里看到了自己 in one of his watercolours on a wall in a gallery in Belgravia,
我情不自禁地想 and I couldn't help thinking to myself,
"为什么他把我画得这么黑" "Why he paint me so dark, eh?"
我记得我站在那里 拿我的手和胳膊 I remember standing there with my hand up to the wall,
同墙上的我作对比 and my arm, and contrasting it.
他画得很对 He had me down just right.
他很了解我 我不在那里 他也可以画我 He had me down so right he could paint me without me being there,
没过多久 我就离开了 and after a while I was not there so much.
我想 我的一部分将永远留在那堵墙上 Some part of me will always remain on that wall, I imagine.
在金叶画框中 In a gold leaf frame.
我的其他部分得继续前进 The other part of me needs to move on.
从来不能把自己粘在白色的画布上 Could never really stick itself to a white canvas.
我不想浪费我的青春 I don't want to waste my youth
困在他想象的墙上 stuck to the wall of his imagination.
尽管他更想把我留在那里 He, though, he'd rather keep me there.
我们仍然给彼此写信 We write to each other still,
许下相见的诺言 却几乎不曾遵守 making promises to meet that are rarely kept.
我去剧院 尽可能分散自己的注意力 I distract myself with as much as I can, with the theatre.
我一直在打理剧院 I've been tending to the theatre.
我的私人后花园 虽然是一场接一场狂欢作乐 My personal back garden, even though it's one bum after another,
一场又一场 one bum after another.
虽然所有为我这样的同性恋开放的地方 Even though all the places for inverts like me
正在一个接一个的消失 are disappearing one by one
在一切的苦中仍有很多乐可作 there is still so much sweet for all that bitter.
这啤酒对我来说太弱了 Mm. This beer is far too weak for my taste,
但还是会浇愁的 but it will do the trick.
喝这一杯是为了赶路 而且尝起来也像柏油 It's one for the road, and it tastes like tarmac too.
周一 事情必须改变 Monday, things must change.
我的自由破灭了 My free paper bun,
但我仍有明天可舞蹈 but I still have tomorrow to dance.
我的脑海里响起《躲避离婚者》 挥之不去 I have Dodging A Divorcee in my head and I can't shake it out.
我希望去哪儿都能带着这首歌 I wish I could carry that song with me everywhere I go.
刻录在耳朵里 Press it against my ears.
要是那样多好 If only.
要是那样多好 这是一种狐步舞 If only. It's a foxtrot.
一种节奏强劲的音乐和舞蹈 20世纪初流行于美国
现在没有了 但他们在舞厅都跳雷格泰姆 No foxtrot now, but they're playing ragtime in the ballrooms.
雷格泰姆 Ragtime.
西印度人为了取悦那些想看的人而跳的 All those West Indians giving the crowd what they want.
殖民地的男孩们流着汗 微笑着 跳着舞 Sweating, smiling, shuffling Colonial boys.
这都是附属游戏的一部分 而不是归属 It's all a part of the game of belonging, and not belonging.
当我第一次来这里时 女房东满腹狐疑 When I first come over here, the landlady was full of questions.
"为什么你的手掌颜色比较浅" "Why are your palms a lighter hue?"
她在桌子上翻我的手 困惑地皱着眉头 She'd turn them over at the table, frowning in puzzlement.
像其他问题一样 我对此没有反驳 I let it wash over me like the other questions.
"你从哪里学的 英语说得这么好" "Where do you learn to speak such good English then?"
之类的 她好多问题 And the like. Oh, she was full of them.
我过去总以为这是一种工人阶级的迷恋 I used to think it was a working-class obsession -
我的头发 皮肤 手的颜色 my hair, my skin, the colour of my hands,
伦敦的贫民区
一切来自伦敦东区男孩们的评论 all those comments from the East End boys.
但我现在不抱任何幻想 But I'm under no illusions now.
不 有地位的人就喜欢问东问西 No, the more refined have their ways.
我告诉他们 我要成为一名律师 I tell them I'm going to become a lawyer,
他们的眉毛会拱起 and their eyebrows arch.
我和他们谈论音乐 话题会转向摇摆舞 I talk to them about music, and the conversation moves to jiving,
爵士摇摆舞和雷格泰姆 swing and ragtime.
我花了那么多时间 All that time I spent
在享受布卢姆斯伯里人们注意 revelling the attention of the Bloomsbury crowd,
我感到的自由就是一种错觉 the freedom I felt was an illusion.
现在我知道了 I know that now.
在我出生的地方 Where I was born,
要成功 你的肤色得像燕麦片的颜色一样浅 you have to be as light as cornmeal to succeed,
除非你知道如何取悦别人 unless you knew how to entertain.
这里就更复杂了 Over here it's more complicated.
你上学的地方和你认识的人 没完没了的攀比 And endless game of where you're schooled and who you know.
这里的上层阶级 他们从来不 Oh, they never slam the door in your face,
当着你的面关上门 the upper classes here, no.
他们让你握着门把手 They make you hold the handle of the door,
让你相信 你根本不想进来 and convince you that you don't want to come in after all.
但一切都随着这场该死的战争而改变了 But all of that is changing with this blasted war.
伦敦的一家夜总会
今晚 我可以进巴黎咖啡馆了 Tonight I was good enough for the Cafe de Paris
因为已经没人留在苏豪区了 because there was no-one else left in Soho.
你能在宏伟的巴黎咖啡馆跳舞 The grand Cafe de Paris is where you can dance now,
也就是我跳舞的地方 where I can dance now
他们不再在意我的外表 they're no longer concerned with my appearance.
他们开始发展新顾客 他们是这么说的 They started opening up their clientele - that's what they said.
这些地方改的口可真有趣啊 It's funny how some places change their tune, eh?
他们称那是全城最安全的地方 They call it the safest spot in town.
深入地下 有一支活跃的乐队 Deep underground with a full swing band,
一支西印度人的乐队 a West Indian band at that.
一堆有色肤色的人 A whole heap of brass and brown skins -
谁想得到呢 who'd have thought that, eh?
我本来今晚要去巴黎咖啡馆的 I was going tonight, to the Cafe de Paris.
去见斯内克希普斯 摇摆舞之王 To see Snakehips, the King of Swing,
掌控着一切的乐队指挥 the band leader at the helm of it all.
他的眼睛闪闪发光 He has a twinkle in his eye,
迷人的腰部扭动 this hypnotising movement at the loins
让我这种男孩垂涎不已 that make a boy like me salivate.
斯内克希普斯天生就像那样 He was like that from day one, Snakehips,
在他从那些乌合之众中脱颖而出 before he plucked himself out from among the riffraff
闪亮登场之前 to make it into the big halls.
他们都谈论他 "斯内克希普斯" They all talk about him, "Snakehips."
甚至连泰晤士河拍打岸边时 Even the Thames seems to do a little dancing dip
都像他舞蹈的摇摆一样 like he does once the river hits this side of town.
但他做的不是真正的音乐 只是引人注目 But all that he do isn't real music - it's all showmanship.
我不是在抱怨 前者只是娱乐大众 后者才能赚钱 And I'm not complaining. The one entertains, the other sustains.
不是我讨厌摇摆舞 And it's not like I don't like the swing,
也不是讨厌它让你俯身 而是自带酒水晚会的表演 the way it makes your body bend, but that is the real difference
不够登上巴黎咖啡馆的台 between the bottle parties and the Cafe de Paris.
不在于谁通过那些门 而是门后是什么 It's not just who gets past the doors, but what's behind them.
今晚我本会被炸弹炸死 I could've been hit by that bomb tonight.
我应该死了 I should be dead.
我今晚没去那 我去了剧院 I didn't go there tonight. I went... I went to the theatre.
其实就是皮卡迪利大街的厕所 That's what I call it, the lavatories around Piccadilly
说我这种语言的人喜欢在那取悦彼此 where men who speak my language like to entertain each other.
真正西区的剧院都关门了 The real West End theatres are all closed now.
发生了空袭之后不久 它们就被迫关门了 Soon after the bombs started coming, they were forced to,
但巴黎咖啡馆还是照常营业 but the Cafe de Paris was open for business.
在地下深处 德国人炸不到 Too deep underground for the Germans to hit it.
我本来要去的 但我无法让我自己 I was meant to go, but I couldn't bring myself
闯入一个一年前 to darken the doors of a place
拒绝让我进入的地方 that would have refused me entry just a year ago.
我的自尊心不允许 I'm too proud for that.
没人这么说过我 Nobody ever tell me in words,
但我感觉这在我的骨子里 but I feel it in the tailoring of my skin.
不管我们是骄傲 还是懦弱 都殊途同归 We're proud, or weak-hearted. The result is the same.
除非我是表演者之一 I wasn't good enough to enter then
否则我不合适去那里 unless I was one of the entertainers.
我在去的路上 I was on my way
然后这种感觉就像一条河向我袭来 and then this urge came upon me like a river,
我的双脚离俱乐部的大门越来越远 and my feet meandered away from the entrance of the club
径直走进了丽晶宫殿酒店的剧院 and straight into the theatre inside the Regent Palace Hotel.
一气呵成 It was a fluid movement.
搬运工通常都视而不见 The porters often turn a blind eye
只要我们不造成什么麻烦 so long as we don't cause a disturbance.
昏暗的光线 我站在小便池 I was stood at the urinals in the semi dark,
一个中年男人的手伸进了我的裤裆 with a middle-aged man's hands inside my flies,
而且握得很紧 and he had a strong grip too.
警笛响起时 我们进行到一半 Halfway through the sirens went off
不得不立即寻找庇护 and we had to run for shelter right away.
我们所有人 当然除了那些投机分子 All of us, except for the chancers, as always.
黑暗中可是撸管 口交或更甚的 The chance of a few minutes to find a hand, or mouth, or more,
一个不容错过的机会 in the dark is too good to pass by.
我逃到了街上 I escaped into the streets
然后我捕捉到了一位看门人的目光 and I caught a glint in the eye of a warden,
跟着他走到了一条侧道 and I followed him down a side passage.
英国伦敦自治市之一
他嘴里有股郊区的味道 He tasted of the suburbs,
似乎他有一位哈默史密斯的妻子 like he had a Hammersmith wife
在他喉咙的后面等着他 waiting for him at the back of his throat.
我的身上 There's that something
天生有种吸引已婚男人的吸引力 in my blood that draws the married man to me
他们都很甜美和复杂 with all his sweetness and complications.
这不是件糟糕的事 我喜欢吃甜食 It's not a bad thing. I have a sweet tooth.
我还在想斯内克希普斯 他很会跳舞 Oh, Snakehips is in my head still. Boy, he could move.
当我把督察员的大腿拉近我时 I heard the whistle of it landing
我听到了炸弹飞落的呼啸声 and I could feel the ground around me shake
能感觉到周围的地面在震动 as I pulled the warden's thighs close against me.
当炸弹把他炸飞时 我正看着 I can see Snakehips dancing...
斯内克希普斯在跳舞 and I can hear him singing.
听见他在唱歌 Right as the bomb lifted him clean off the stage.
炸弹从通风井掉下来 然后... The bomb went down the ventilation shaft, and then...
就那样 伦敦最安全的地方没了 The safest spot in London gone, just like that.
这是一两个小时前的事了 但我们还在这畅饮 It was an hour or two ago now, but here we are drinking on.
另一轮轰炸十分钟之后开始 Another one went off ten minutes later,
我嘴巴里还残留着看门人的味道 while I still had the taste of the warden in my mouth.
我刚要抵达这个避难所 有很多 And just as I'm arriving to the shelter, there's all this
碎片掉落 我不知道哪来的血 debris falling, and I don't know where the blood came from -
是我撞到了头 还是咬破了嘴唇 if I hit my head or if I bit my lip too hard,
但我只看到了血 but all I see is blood.
我本来可能在那 I could've been there.
我曾向自己保证 I promised myself I would finally
一定会去那该死的俱乐部里看看 see inside of that blessed club.
在那些上流人士中有一席之地 Take my rightful place with the creme de la creme.
但有时候食言 But sometimes a broken promise
才能让你活下来 is what it takes to keep you alive.
我反而选择了有哈默史密斯 Instead, I chose the path of the warden
和杜松子酒味道的看门人的那条路 who tasted of Hammersmith and gin.
我本来不可能 I can't have been more
离炸弹爆炸地两百码远 than 200 yards away from where the bomb hit,
还活下来 and I survived.
周一 Monday.
周一我就要去服兵役 Monday is the day I'm going to join up for war service.
在被强制征兵前 我会自己去 I'll join up before I'm forced to,
用我的方式 用弗雷德里克的方式 in my way, in the Fredrick way,
我也同样会活下来 就像我一直以来那样 and I will survive the same way, like I've always done.
当然 我知道总有一天会被征召入伍 Of course, I knew one day I'd be called up.
我很害怕 从没想过 I dreaded it, I never wanted it.
我宁愿每天跳舞 I'd rather dance away my days
都不愿去打什么鬼仗 但今晚 than join in the bloodshed, but tonight -
今晚我终于意识到 如果我不去找战争 tonight I finally realised that the fight will come to me
战争迟早会找上我 if I don't come to it first.
我会为这个荒野乡村而战 And I will fight for this bush village.
为了那些来来去去的自带酒水派对 For the bottle parties that have come and gone,
为了那些来来往往的可爱又复杂的男人 for sweet and complicated men that have come and gone.
没错 为了斯内克希普斯 And, yes, for Snakehips.
没错 为了巴黎咖啡馆 And, yes, for the Cafe de Paris.
也为了剧院 But also for the theatres.
大部分是为了剧院而战 Most of all, I'm going to fight for the theatres
为了那些从未 and all the other places
对我们这种人关门的地方而战 that never closed their doors to men like me.
如果他们还有为我们敞开的门 That's if they even have doors to start with.
这是唯一一个我可以不计后果去参加的战争 That is the only fight I can take up with any conviction.
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有一天我会回来 And I will be back sometime,
我会坐在苏豪区的酒吧里 当然比这好多了 and I will sit down in a Soho pub which will be better than here.
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甚至比踢踏舞厅还好 And maybe even better than the Shim Sham.
如果到那时 And God help them
他们还没学会倒好酒 那就没救了 if they haven't learned to pour decent beer by then.