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Woman: Once upon a time, there was a little tooth fairy.
No, that's not right. Fairies were involved,
but actually, this is the story of another little creature
that likes to eat cheese and doesn't get along with cats.
Since the discovery of pixie dust,
this little guy has been helping fairies
fix up potions, conjure up spells,
and leave quarters under your pillow when you lose a tooth.
That's right, I'm talking about the mouse.
M-O-U-S-E.
- ( children playing ) - Here I come. Here I come.
- I'm Sir Thaddeus! - I'm Sir Jonas!
- Whoo-hoo! - Yippee!
Catch me if you can!
Hurry, hurry, hurry!
Hyah! Take that! And that!
I wanna play!
( playing continues )
Come on, lets go!
Let me play, guys!
Oops. That hurt.
Oww.
- Come on! - Take that!
- And that! - Let me play, guys!
She's upstairs!
Slow down. Let me play.
We have to save her!
Wait!
Where are you going?
Ugh. Oof!
Come back here, guys.
( whimpers )
Why aren't you playing
with your brothers and sisters, Chip?
They said I couldn't play
'cause I'm too little.
Oh, they did, did they?
Well, it's probably for the best.
I didn't have anyone to talk to.
( chuckles ) Come here.
Wow, you're getting big.
Pretty soon you're gonna be too big
to sit on Grandpa's lap.
Chip, I want to tell you a story
about the greatest wizard in all the land.
- Wow. - Grandpa: I guess you could say he was a little mouse
- with big dreams. - Whoa.
- I wanna be a wizard, too! - Oh, so did I.
But the only one who believed in me was your grandma.
Eventually, I gave up on that idea
and moved into this tree house.
But this story's not about me.
It's about a little boy.
Chip: Did he have a magic wand?
Grandpa: Hey, who's telling the story here?
( screams ) Oof!
That's gonna leave a mark.
Upsy-daisy.
Well, that was fun.
Note to self:
mice do not always land on their feet.
Well, I guess I better wake up the fairies.
Hope she's in a better mood today.
- ( fairy humming ) - ( chuckles )
There you are.
( sighs )
Isn't she cute?
Hey, where you going?
Was it something I said?
Come here.
Or stay up there!
That's fine! Call me if you need anything!
Ugh! This is ridiculous.
- Why is she so angry? - ( evil chuckle )
It's because I called you "cute," isn't it?
( grunting )
I mean pretty!
I mean, uh, beautiful?
I mean, you...
( screaming )
Help. ( grunts )
( screaming )
Whoa! Whoa! Hey!
Whoa!
Argh.
( groaning )
Ugh.
- I just do not understand women. - ( evil chuckle )
Huh? ( screaming )
I'm sorry, I'm sorry! Sorry!
Gah-- oh.
Huh?
How am I ever gonna become a great wizard?
I can't even talk to a little fairy.
There you are.
- Huh? - ( whooshing )
( scoffs )
( pops )
- Mouse: Nice try, Sam. - Sebastian!
How many times do I have to tell you,
no casting spells when we're playing rock tag.
Sebastian? Sebastian?
Sebastian.
Huh.
What are you doing?
You're a mouse, not a possum.
Uh, I, uh... I wanted to see the world upside down?
Uh-huh. Why don't I give you a hand?
Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!
- That is completely unnecessary. - All right.
- Sam! - Hang on.
Aah!
Oh, that was a close one. Phew.
I totally thought you were gonna hit me.
- ( cracks ) - ( screaming )
( grunting )
Raspberries.
Whoa!
Aah!
Little help here, Sam?
You got this, you're doing fine.
In case you haven't heard,
( emphatically ) Mice can't fly! Huh?
( screams )
I really wish I could remember that landing spell.
See? I told you there was nothing to worry about.
- Relax. - Huh? ( grunts )
Sam, that is so immature.
You don't just throw rocks at people
when you want their attention!
I thought you liked rock tag?
I do like rock tag. That's not the point.
Come on, don't worry, Sebastian.
I believe in you.
One day, you're gonna be
the greatest wizard in all the land.
Ah, yeah.
Oh, Sam.
You're so naive.
Why can't you just accept the fact
that I'm destined to fail?
It's not that bad.
I'm okay with it.
Yeah, I used to want to be a wizard,
but I also used to want to live in a castle,
and marry a princess.
But you know what they say?
- Big dreams, big disappointments. - ( sighs )
Oh, I feel so sorry for you.
You have such a rough life.
Look around, man! What do you see?
'Cause I see a beautiful forest with flowers and waterfalls.
Who wants to live in a smelly old castle?
- Bleh! - You know what?
Wanna know what I see? A bunch of dumb trees,
and behind every one is something that wants to eat me.
- The forest is a dangerous place for a mouse when-- - ( cat meows )
- Shh. - ( cat screeches )
- What? Huh? - Come on, a cat!
- Let's go check it out. - Check it out?
- Hey! - Don't be such a chicken.
- I ain't no chicken. - ( cat growls )
Not gonna lie. That was little scary.
Hey, Sam, wait up!
Wow, that cat is huge!
Let's go pull her whiskers.
Sebastian: Did it hurt very much when they dropped you on your head?
Just curious.
Dude, you know what would make a great magic wand?
- No. - A cat whisker.
- No! - You distract her, l'll go get the whisker.
- Sam! - Fine, you win.
I'll distract her and you go get the whisker.
Sam, it's not that I don't appreciate
all your incredibly thoughtful advice, but...
I'm just not 100% sold on the fact
that becoming cat food
is gonna make me a better wizard.
- You know what I mean? - Well, I'm glad you appreciate my advice, Sebastian.
'Cause I have something else to tell you.
- ( growling ) - Yeah, yeah, I'm gonna be
- the greatest wizard in all the land-- - Nope.
- Look behind you. - Huh? Oh.
( chuckles ) Hi, cat.
Uh, nice to meet you.
Uh, this is Sam. Have you met Sam? Sam?
- ( yelps ) Sam! - You got this, don't worry.
- ( nervous chuckle ) - ( growling )
- Whoa, is that catnip? - Huh?
- Gimme that! - ( shrieks )
( grunting )
( screams )
S-S-S-S-Sam!
( sighs )
- Hey. - ( screams )
- Have you tried it yet? Does it work? - Sam!
I can't believe you stole a cat whisker.
- ( yells ) - Shh! Cat.
Whoa.
- Well, it works. - And you kinda gave away our exact location.
- Maybe she didn't see? - ( roars )
- ( gasps ) - ( screams ) She saw!
Yup, she definitely saw.
This is no time to take a break.
All right, cat!
Sam: You're going down!
Oh, boy.
I don't think that was such a good idea!
Quit worrying.
See, kid.
What did I tell you?
It's just a stupid cat.
What's the matter, cat?
Can't fit your big head
through the little hole in the log?
( gasps ) Okay, it just got a little more complicated.
Oh, really? What happened to
"You got this. Quit worrying?"
"Just steal a cat whisker."
You know, you could try using that magic wand you got there.
It's not like I can make both of us disappear.
- ( growls ) - You could try.
- ( grunts ) - ( screams )
- There you are. - What happened?
I don't know, but it was awesome.
- See, I knew you could do it. - Do what, Sam?
- ( screams ) - Almost get eaten by a pair of hungry cats?
- What's that? - Huh?
Come on, let's go check it out.
Wait. Sam!
Oh, she cannot be serious right now.
- ( clanging ) - It's just like the last time she said,
"let's go check it out," and we almost got eaten by a cat.
What's taking so long, Captain?
Tell your minions to dig faster!
But, general, we're tired, and we're smelly,
and we haven't eaten in days!
- When we invade the kingdom of mice... - Both: Huh?
You and your men can have
- all the cheese you ever dreamed of! - ( sniffing )
- ( maniacal laughter ) - Cheese?
You heard him, you smelly rats!
- ( whip cracks ) - Back to work!
Faster, faster, faster!
- ( sniffing ) - What? Why have you stopped?
Move your butt. Let's go!
O.M.G., they're gonna invade the kingdom of mice.
- Let's not jump to any conclusions. - ( snarling )
Guards, seize them!
Get back here!
General: Move your butts! Let's go!
They're in trouble!
Sebastian, you've gotta warn the king.
( snarling )
- ( meows ) - ( yelps )
- Rat: Get back here! - Hold on a second. I've got an idea.
They're up here somewhere.
I can smell 'em. Let's go.
( whistles )
There they are!
They're not good at hiding, are they?
Guys, you might want to check your six o'clock.
We don't know how to tell time.
She meant behind us.
- ( screaming ) - ( roaring )
( giggling ) It's almost too easy.
Who are you?
They sicced their giant, trained cats on us.
Oh, you fleabags blew it again.
The Dark Rodent's gonna punish you.
( maniacal laughter )
- ( whimpers ) - ( weasel whimpering )
You're gonna make me late for the Dark Rodent.
Oh, forget it.
They don't pay me enough to do this.
I tell you, I could use a peanut butter and cheese sandwich right now.
That'd just be... solid.
Hello?
Anyone home? Master?
Master Dark Rodent?
( deep voice ) What do you want?
Uh, sorry, Master.
I got some bad news
about the mice.
- Speak up, you miserable fool. - Uh... ah!
They sent two spies into the tunnel.
We almost caught one of them, but she got away.
She has no fear, Master!
There was nothing we could do!
Outsmarted by a couple of mice?
I'll give you something to be afraid of.
( growls )
Sam: Sebastian, you gotta warn the king.
Me?
So, I've been thinking, and you should go alone.
If anybody should tell the king, it should be you.
I'm not too good at public speaking.
( sighs ) Sebastian, I have to tell you something.
( faint growling )
What is it? Everything okay?
No, Sam. Everything is definitely not okay!
- Run for it! - ( screams )
Are you sure you're not mad?
- Your failures are nothing new to me. - Well, that's a relief.
But if those mice warn the king of my plans,
then nothing,
not even your own mother, will protect you from my wrath!
- Aha! It's a deal. - ( hissing )
- Whoa! - Dark Rodent: Now, bring those mice to me.
- ( cackles ) - ( yelling )
- Sam: What the heck is that thing? - ( hisses )
Sebastian: I don't know! It just appeared out of the darkness.
- ( screaming ) - ( snarls )
Get up, Sebastian!
Hurry, get to the light!
That's not something you see every day.
Hey, how'd you know that?
Light always defeats darkness.
So, you ready to meet the king?
( sighs ) What a strange girl.
Sam: Good luck, Sebastian.
Sebastian: Oh, well.
You got this.
Whew.
- Help me out here, ladies. - ( laughs evilly )
( yelps )
- Can you go warn the king, please? - ( hums )
Lettuce, all right, one head of lettuce, coming up.
Here you go. Where'd that guy come from?
Man: Hey, look, a fairy!
I wonder where she's going?
And I am the king.
Hi, little fairy.
It's the greatest invention
since the invention of inventions.
I call it tract housing. ( yelps )
Oh, I just finished building it.
( clicking )
Man: Where was that spell?
Here, here, here. No?
No, that's not it. Not it.
Huh.
Hmm.
Aha!
No, that's not it.
What was I looking for again?
I can't even remem--
Oh, it's probably not important, anyway.
Hmm?
Hi, come on in.
( humming emphatically )
A message for the king, you say?
( hums )
- Hmm. - ( pops )
So much for my afternoon nap.
Alakazam!
Alaka--
alakazam?
Alakazam! Kazam!
I really gotta get a new one of these things.
( snaps, pops )
Man: If I do raise taxes, they won't like me.
If I don't raise taxes, they won't respect me.
You should charge the people a nickel
every time they laugh at your expense.
What say you, Sir Thaddeus?
Well, I hear pillaging is all the rage.
No, it must be respectable,
because I am the king.
If you need money, why don't you just sell these cheese cakes?
Don't charge me, though. It was my idea.
No, no. The king can't have a bake sale.
Unless it's...
Both: A royal bake sale!
Yes, that's it.
I need you, my mightiest soldiers,
to go out and have a bake sale
and bring the money back to me.
- ( pops ) - ( gasps )
- ( screams ) - Thaddeus: What was that?
Oh, the-- Dalliwog?
What are you doing up there?
Funny, I was going to ask you the same thing.
What are you all doing on the ceiling?
( sighs )
As a wise man, I sometimes stand on my head,
but this is ridiculous. ( pops )
What is the meaning of all this? ( grunts )
Beg your pardon.
So nice to see you, Dalliwog.
Your majesties.
I am here with a matter of grave importance--
Is it about the bake sale?
- Uh, no. - No?
What could be more important than the bake sale?
What do I know about these things?
- Why don't you ask him? - ( pops )
- ( queen chuckles ) - Whoop.
( chuckles ) Wrong guy.
( pops )
- ( pops ) - That's him.
Huh? Uh, hi.
Dalli, who is this person?
He's the mouse of the scene, the man in the know.
More than me, anyway.
This young mouse was--
Wow! Is that a cat whisker?
Just like the one in my old book.
Yippee! The prophecy will be fulfilled!
The prophecy will be fulfilled!
Master Dalliwog, please try and focus.
Sebastian has some bad news to tell you.
Take it away, grasshopper.
Uh... um...
Well, gee. Thanks for throwing me under the bus.
Okay! The kingdom of mice is planning to invade the rats!
Hmm?
I mean, the rats are planning to invade the kingdom of mice!
Where did you hear that, Sebastian?
Me and my friend Sam saw the whole thing.
- It was really scary. - Gonna have to postpone the bake sale!
Oh, what shall we do, Dalliwog?
I never discuss matters of grave importance on an empty stomach.
King: So, the Dark Rodent has returned.
I was afraid this day would come.
Cheese anybody?
How do we stop him, Dalliwog?
Well, his powers are beyond compare.
That does present a problem. What else do we know?
Dalliwog: Well, his heart is pure evil,
his hobbies are mayhem and destruction,
and he's not very nice.
The Dark Rodent will stop at nothing,
and nothing will stop him
until the prophecy is fulfilled.
- ( gulps ) - The prophecy of the cat whisker?
Don't be absurd.
You can't put the fate of the entire kingdom
in the hands of a field mouse.
You need strong, noble warriors.
This mouse is just a peasant.
Maybe I should just make Dark Rodents illegal?
After all, I am the king.
That should count for something, right?
Master Dalliwog?
According to the prophecy, do I eat cheese every--
"According to the prophecy?!"
Has everyone gone mad?
Who cares about some silly legend from a thousand years ago?
So he found a cat whisker.
Excuse me for not being sufficiently impressed.
- ( Sam gasps ) How dare he? - Sebastian: Sir Thaddeus,
my friend and I fought two cats to get this whisker.
Oh, Sebastian, that's wonderful.
Did you all hear that? Not one, but two cats!
Okay, hold on just one second.
Your Majesty, I'm sure they were just small cats--
kittens, if you will.
There's no arguing with this guy.
If what you say is true,
then it appears we have no choice
but to send this mouse
on an incredibly dangerous adventure.
Indeed.
An adventure filled with dragons and monsters,
and other scary things.
His chances of making it back are pretty low.
Not gonna lie.
Ugh. How did I get mixed up in all of this?
Whoa!
The key, please.
Both: Hmm...
- What's that thing? - This, Sir Jonas,
is the most valuable treasure in the world.
It doesn't look very valuable.
It's called a quarter!
According to the prophecy, Sebastian here
must travel to the land of giants
where he will trade the quarter
for a pearly-white crystal...
- with magic powers. - What?
How will a crystal protect us from the Dark Rodent?
It has magic powers.
- Clean out your ears. - ( clicks )
So, do you think it will work?
It has to work.
Because I am the king!
Is the princess in her room?
Oh, we haven't heard a peep from her all week, Your Highness.
- ( guards chuckle ) - Yeah, she's been quiet as a mouse.
Honey, are you in there?
( chuckling )
- You better watch your-- - Princess: What do you want?
I come with a matter of grave importance.
See, there's this boy, and his name's Sebastian,
and he's supposed to... save the kingdom.
- Oh, dear. - Well, if he survives, that is.
So, we were kind of hoping you'd come out and say...
- Sebastian? - ...Hi.
Queen: That's his name, dear.
Why do I have to meet him?
Did you just see that?
I tell you, that's how it always happens with these princesses.
( chuckles ) You're sitting there, minding your own business,
and one day, it's "Hey, Honey,
there's a boy I'd like you to meet."
and next thing you know, you're in a fixed marriage.
( chuckling )
I'm so lonely.
Huh?
Did you say something?
- ( clangs ) - ( gasps )
- Huh? - Whoops.
( nervous laughter )
Sebastian: My bad.
- ( pops ) - Whoa!
I see you're getting to know the knights of the round table.
Sir Jonas and Sir Thaddeus will be looking out for you
on your journey.
Pay attention, Sebastian, this is very important.
( grunting )
Ah, we won't get very far without this.
- ( pops ) - Take this map,
and follow it to the tree of a thousand windows.
Sebastian: Huh. But what does it look like?
It looks like a tree with a thousand windows.
Well, then what?
- What do I do-- - Come on, man!
What's with all the questions?
Look, just find the tree of a thousand windows,
make your way to the land of giants,
and give the quarter to the one they call "Monkey Butt."
- Monkey Butt? - Don't you listen? That's correct.
I'm sure your name means something funny in her language too, Sebastian.
Hey, look what you did with your little cat whisker.
Makes a good wand.
Yeah, but will it make me a good wizard?
You're not getting cold feet, are you?
It's just that...
I'm not very good at, you know, magic.
A wizard's strength is not in his wand. It's in his heart.
And speaking of hearts, it looks like someone has stolen yours.
- All set, Your Majesty. - Good.
- We are ready to go. - Why the long face?
Didn't you always want to marry a princess?
Sure. In my dreams.
If you can dream it, you can do it, right?
Wait, who said that?
Eh, doesn't matter.
Ahem.
Yoo-hoo!
Huh?
( clearing throat )
Okay, everybody, places.
Of course, you know the Chosen One.
- and his companions... - Hi.
- ...brave knights of the kingdom. - ( giggles )
Sir Thaddeus, the valiant.
It would be an honor
to sacrifice myself for the kingdom.
Dalliwog: Sir Jonas, the intrepid.
I will not rest until our mission is complete.
( grunts )
Dalliwog: And Sebastian, the... other guy.
Hmm.
I guess I'll give it a shot.
( humphs )
You can do it, Chosen One.
Say hi to Monkey Butt for me.
I don't know what that means, but okay.
Your Highness, we might want to talk about Plan "B."
Jonas: So, what's this "chosen one" business, anyway?
I mean, what does that mean?
You think I could be the chosen one?
Fine, fine. Just stop talking.
Or maybe you could be the chosen one, Sir Thaddeus.
Okay, what if there's a bunch of chosen ones?
Hey, remember mouseball?
Do you ever stop for breath?
So the chosen one's supposed to marry the princess, right?
Please, would you put a sock in it?
But he can't be the chosen one. He's just a peasant.
Must you talk all the time?
Do you think I'm special?
Everyone's special in their own way, I suppose.
I don't mean special, like, "you're special,
I'm special, everyone's special."
- I mean really special. - Yes, yes.
I totally almost forgot what I was gonna say.
Oh, yeah, do you like strawberries?
Thaddeus: What kind of question is that?
Everyone likes berries.
( bird squawking )
( groaning )
- I can't take any more. - Eh?
What's the matter, old boy?
Just give me a minute.
- What? - It's my belly.
I think it's empty.
Hey, how 'bout a snack break?
But you've only been walking for ten minutes, man.
You're making that up.
Isn't that your house over there?
Behind that giant tree?
By the way, you left your lights on, again, don't you know.
Oh, I'm so hungry,
and this heavy pack is making my back sweat.
Plus I don't feel good, either.
- Do you think maybe you could carry it for me? - Oh, absolutely not.
- I didn't tell you to bring half the kitchen with you. - ( groans )
You'll just have to...
I've always admired your knack
for solving problems, Sir Thaddeus.
- ( Sebastian grunting ) - You're so smart.
Yes, now if I could only figure out
how to make you be quiet.
( straining ) This is so unfair.
Can you please stop dilly-dallying?
Put your back into it.
( groans )
Come on, Chosen One.
( groaning, mumbling )
Jonas: Hey, Sir Thaddeus.
Why do they call it an epic journey?
Have you ever seen a pterodactyl?
Hey, Sir Thaddeus, are we almost there?
I'm getting hungry.
Hey, Thaddeus, why aren't you talking?
Ooh!
Move it, magic boy.
Those bags aren't going to carry themselves.
( grumbling )
( bird shrieks )
Huh?
Look out, guys! Behind you!
Yes, we know you're behind us.
( bird shrieking )
Sir Jonas, duck!
Shazam! ( grunting )
You said it was a duck! ( sobbing )
No, no, that's no duck.
That's-- that's a monster!
Oww!
That's not good.
Uh...
zamboni!
Wait, where's my wand?
What the--
- Sam? - You're going down, sucka!
Wait, Sam, can we talk about this?
All right, bird. Take that!
Wow. You really showed him.
So, you glad to see me?
- Sure. - Try to contain your excitement.
I mean, I did just save your life.
Hurry! The bridge is collapsing! Save the snacks!
I think I'm gonna have a panic attack.
Oh, Sebastian. Such a drama queen.
So much for the chosen one.
Oh, he's a goner.
I got five bucks on the girl, though.
- She's a toughie. - ( yelling )
We're not gonna make it!
Less talking, more running.
Aah!
I win.
Oh, horror! The tragedy!
Yes, I'm all broken up about it.
All of our favorite snacks are gone.
- What-- what are we gonna do? - What are you on about?
Oh, never mind the snacks, Sir Jonas.
That mouse was carrying the treasure!
Tha-- tha-- that's what I'm talking about.
The mozzarella!
The cheddar! The swiss! The...
- ( grunts ) - ( both scream )
Hey, fancy pants, what you talkin' about?
- Tell me you have the treasure. - And I got my magic wand back!
Ah, yes, brilliant. Now the next time you use that thing,
could you try not to destroy the bridge we're crossing?
And you, Sir Thaddeus, could try to be a little nicer.
Yes, well, maybe if you didn't-- hey, how do you know my name?
Even a simple field mouse like me has heard of the great Sir Thaddeus and Sir Jonas.
Oh, my first fan!
Can I take her with me, Sir Thaddeus? Can I?
No way Not a chance!
- She is not coming with us! - If it wasn't for me,
you'd be down there right now.
Sorry, not sorry, Sebastian, looks like you're stuck with me.
( sighs )
Move it or lose it, Dumbledork.
'Scuse me.
So, Sam, honey, how long have you been a fan of the great Sir Jonas?
You don't mind if I refer to myself in the third person, do you?
It's nice to know that kids your age
still respect the respectables, such as myself.
Dark Rodent: What?
He chose a field mouse to retrieve the white crystal?
You've mocked me for the last time, Dalliwog.
( high-pitched laughter )
What is thy bidding, Master?
Find the mice traveling to the land of giants.
Follow them, but do not take them from their path.
- Shadow: Yes, Dark Rodent. - ( both laughing )
This plays right into my hands.
Soon the dark prophecy will be fulfilled.
( clanging )
- ( rumbling ) - What?
( stone crumbling )
Dark Rodent: Greetings, minions.
Tonight,
the kingdom of mice shall fall!
( all cheering, chanting ) Rodent, rodent, rodent, rodent, rodent...
( gurgling )
( chanting fades )
Tonight? No way.
They'll never get back in time.
We're definitely going to need a Plan "B."
Okay, fairies, let's get to work.
( snapping )
( birds singing )
Jonas: Aw, I think our little chosen one here has a little crush.
Don't you feel bad for him, Sir Thaddeus?
He's no better at talking to girls than he is at magic.
Really? Sir Jonas, do you really think I give two bits of cheese
whether one peasant has a crush on another peasant?
( laughs ) Thaddeus, you can be such a stuffed shirt sometimes.
"Look at me! I'm Sir Thaddeus."
Mouse, please! Just because you a knight don't make you right!
( giggling )
Come on, are you going to stay mad at me all day?
- ( grumbles ) I don't have a crush. - Really?
- I don't have a crush! - Okay, okay. Jeez.
( bird calling )
( scraping )
"Feed me, feed me," thought the hungry little tummy.
( growling )
Since it could neither speak nor cry,
it just grumbled sadly all night long.
The end.
( laughs )
I honestly don't think this could be any more depressing,
babysitting the chosen one and his little peasant girlfriend.
( grumbles ) You know what, buddy?
I never asked to be chosen for nothing!
( Sam gasps ) Sebastian?
Who am I kidding? I'm no hero.
I get my butt kicked by fairies.
I wish I had never found this stupid whisker--
Go ahead.
Huh?
Throw it all away.
You'll never be a great wizard with that attitude.
But it's ridiculous.
How can a little mouse like me save the entire kingdom?
There's no such thing as small mice,
only small dreams. So if you keep dreaming big dreams,
eventually your dreams will come true.
That doesn't make any sense.
I'm not like you, Sam.
You're smart and beautiful.
You think I always had it so easy?
When I first learned how to use a slingshot,
I must have hit myself in the head a thousand times.
I think I did permanent damage.
I still can't say "gloopen-gloppen."
Sam, sometimes, when a mouse likes another mouse--
Come on, just follow your heart.
Do I have to spell it out for you?
'Cause I'm running out of words.
- Hey, there. - You got this.
Hey, Sam, you're a girl, right?
You think the princess could ever fall
- for a mouse like me? - Seriously?
I think she kind of likes me.
I mean, there was definitely a little spark between us...
- Jonas: Hmm? - ...before she turned her back
and walked away in a huff.
Can you believe she actually looked at me?
Is that not a sign? I mean, that's totally a sign, huh?
- Man, open your eyes. - ( Jonas laughing )
Thaddeus: The peasant is in love with the princess?!
( both laughing )
Sam: How can you love someone you don't even know?
( Jonas laughing )
( military march playing )
King Rey: We've received news from the fairies
regarding an attack on the kingdom.
Now listen up, my friend the Great Master Dalliwog says
it's all going down tonight!
Guess the chosen one took the night off.
- So much for the prophecy. - Well, if I was the chosen one,
I'd choose to take the night off too.
( laughing ) I'd choose to take off every night.
Well, that's a wise choice.
( softly ) Oh, Princess.
Oh, Sebastian, you're so immature.
Oh, cheese and crackers. Mmm.
Mmm, Mama.
( whooshes )
- What was that? - ( Jonas snoring )
Must be my imagination. Ah.
This is better than a king's table buffet.
Hand over your weapons. Thank you.
I'm so hungry, sister.
Me too! But the Dark Rodent said not to touch them.
I'm sure he won't mind if we just eat the little ones.
( both laughing )
Ah!
- Hi. - Uh, bye. Ah!
No, no, no, no, no! Don't eat me, don't eat me!
- I'm the chosen one. - I know you're the chosen one.
- I chose to eat you. - ( both laugh )
You'll be the first mouse that I've ever tasted.
I was created today, see?
Uh, happy birthday?
Aw, you're so sweet.
( screams )
Ooh, a little spicy too.
- ( laughs ) - ( Sam sighs )
Not much meat on this one.
- Ah! - Is there?
( both sniffing )
- Hmm. - Help me!
- What was that? - Jonas! Do something, please!
Did somebody just say "cheese"?
( yawning ) I like cheese.
Aw, too bad I filled up on appetizers.
- Ah! - Your friend looks delicious.
- ( laughing ) - Ah!
- Please, no. - What's going on?!
- Sam: Please please. - I feel all woozy and bloated,
- like I ate a bad mouse. - You don't look so hot.
- Sebastian? - Sebastian: Abracadabra!
I think you're allergic.
Wow.
Huh?
Hi there.
- ( murmuring ) - Hmm.
Looks like the rats are a no-show.
Maybe that was part of the prophecy.
Maybe the rats got one good look at our king
and died of laughter.
- So funny. - ( distant explosion )
- ( yelps ) - ( explosion )
( growling )
Time to get down.
I hope you washed your paws, boys!
Because we're about to have mice for breakfast!
( all cheering )
Mice and men will sing of our glorious deeds!
Unless we lose, then they probably won't!
For tonight, we fight for our beloved kingdom!
- Now let's kick some rat butt! - ( all yelling )
Attack!
- Take no prisoners! - ( all chanting ) Rodent, rodent,
rodent, rodent!
( grunting )
( both grunting )
Not tonight, rat! Not tonight!
Whoa!
It just might work.
Hey, guys, they just got Tiny!
( soldier grunting ) Let's go get 'em!
Long live the kingdom of mice!
( all yelling )
( both yell )
Ahhh!
Well, you know what they say.
- quit while you're ahead. - Yeah, let's go home.
Our work here is done.
Don't give up now, boys. The party just started.
Luck is on our side.
Oh oh! I'm not superstitious or anything,
- but I just stepped on a crack. - ( grumbles )
I'm warning you, dark creature!
Why don't you just let me enjoy my dinner?
It is my birthday, and she's my present.
How can you be so insensitive?
( sighs ) That's right.
Bats' eyes are extremely sensitive to light.
Not light! Anything but light!
Ah! We were only playing.
Yeah? Well, I'm not.
- Let her go. - Oh! Ow.
I swear, l'll do anything you want,
but pretty please, just no light!
Fine then. Who sent you?
No, no, no, I can't tell you that.
He would be absolutely furious if he found out I told you that.
The Dark Rodent would take my wings and beat me with them
and turn me upside-down and-- oh!
Oh, wow.
No need to worry. I'm just being hunted by the Dark Rodent!
Well, you are the chosen one, Sebastian.
You kinda got to expect these things.
You! Get back here.
( laughing )
Huh? Hmm?
Huh?
Sorry, boss.
( hissing )
( whimpers )
Master, is that you?
Tonight you fulfill your destiny, General.
Cross the bridge into the kingdom.
Your sacrifice will not be forgotten.
Yes, Dark Rodent!
What does he mean, "sacrifice"?
Ooh!
Long live the Dark Rodent!
King Rey: Don't worry, guys. I have a plan.
Wait for it.
Don't be afraid!
Let's show this Dark Rodent what we're made of!
Yeah, we ain't scared of no Dark Rodent.
- ( crying ) - Oh, hug me, brother!
Hug me, sister.
King Rey: Hang on.
Dalliwog now!
Soldier: Hey, what's going on?
Soldier #2: I think it's a trick.
Soldier: Hey, what is this, some kind of trick?
Soldier #2: You're not fooling us.
( laughs weakly )
You're not fooling anyone, mouse!
Surrender or be destroyed! Ah!
What the-- What?
Huh? What's going on?
Right on schedule. Dalliwog!
Soldier: It's a trap! Retreat! Whah!
( fairies laugh )
Retreat!
( all screaming )
Whoa!
( shouting )
Achoo!
Still got a little juice left.
Tell us everything you know about the Dark Rodent.
Come on, you think I was born yesterday?
Actually, I was born today.
A creature of darkness!
- Huh? - Don't worry, guys. I'll get it.
- Just let me find my bat whacker. - ( gasps )
It's got to be around here somewhere.
I know I left it. I could swear--
- Hey! - Thaddeus, have you seen my bat-bat?
Where-- oh!
- I must warn the Dark Rodent! - Sebastian: Get back here!
Cock-a-doodle-doo!
- ( screams ) - Nice shot.
I know. I think I'm getting the hang of this magic thing.
Wow. I'm sure it won't go to your head, either.
( yawns )
I had the strangest dream. Did I miss anything?
No, nothing, thumbsucker.
( both grunting )
He just got a royal butt whipping, 'cause I am the king.
- Oh! - Ah! Dalliwog!
( all applauding )
Great job, Dalliwog.
The Dark Rodent's army fell right into our trap.
- ( laughs ) - It'll be a long time before he thinks
- about invading the kingdom of mice again! - Oh, I--
I wouldn't be too sure of that.
( sighs ) Oh, well.
Let him have his 15 seconds of glory.
So you're still alive.
Ah! Oh, why, Master? Why?
You knew it was a trap and you sent me in anyway.
- Silence! - What gives, man?
I did what was necessary.
- But why? - How dare you question the Dark Rodent?!
You show your cards too soon, old man.
( evil laughter )
Dalliwog: But the old crystal's power is almost gone.
Every time I want to have a bake sale.
We're sitting ducks out here until the chosen one gets back
- with the new crystal. - Oh, my gosh.
What, is he going to fly over the gorge with his entire army?
There is only one way in and out of my kingdom,
and that's the bridge which you just destroyed.
Rats smell weakness, Your Highness.
They'll be back before we can say, "cheese puff."
I can feel it.
Take the princess and myself, for example.
I didn't know what I knew, but I knew I knew something, you know?
Like when you know something, but you don't know why you know it.
You just gotta know.
Can you please stop talking about the princess?
What's so special about her, anyway?
( both chuckle )
I didn't mean to hurt your feelings.
I'm sorry.
I don't know how to explain it.
It's like before all this chosen one business,
everything was just empty.
I was afraid to dream, and then suddenly,
there's this light shining on me.
Just like when I was in the belly of that monster.
- Mmm. Hmm? - The light set me free!
Yeah, light overcomes darkness.
I taught you that.
Chicken noodle soup! Curly fries!
What good is this thing if you can't make lunch?
Cheeseburger! Guess I don't have the gift.
- What's wrong, Sam? - I'm hungry!
This might sound weird, but my belly's rumbling.
Thaddeus, when my belly speaks, I listen.
And right now it's saying something is not right about this place.
There are many things I would call your belly, Sir Jonas,
but a crystal ball is definitely not one of them.
My belly is no laughing matter, okay?
Hmm. Hmmm!
- Ah! No, don't! - Dark Rodent!
Come out, come out, wherever you are!
See? Nothing but rocks.
- Oh, you are gonna regret that. - ( laughing )
What, does he think the rocks are going to attack us?
- ( both laugh ) - They are attacking us!
Ah!
( grunting ) Huh?
Oh! Only rocks?
Only rocks, Sir Thaddeus?
( whimpering )
Faster, Sir Jonas!
( Jonas whimpering )
No idea he could move like that.
"Only rocks," he says, huh? Only--
( gasps ) Goodbye, cruel world.
Give me that, Sam!
Rock-a-bye, baby!
- ( gasps ) - Why is it not working?
- Sebastian, I believe in you. - Stop!
( gasps )
Cool. Good job, Sebastian.
- Hey, Thaddeus, he actually did something right for a change. - Sir Jonas.
- ( screams ) Rockasaurus! - ( growling )
( Sam gasps )
- Dude? - ( growling )
Ahh!
( panting )
( growling )
Hey, can you, like, cast a spell already?
- ( Sam gasps ) - ( grunting )
Take that! And there! And there's some more for you.
Well, we're not getting through this anytime soon.
Out of my way!
( Sam shouting )
- ( grunts ) - ( chokes )
( roaring )
Sam: Wake up, Sebastian! Please.
Wake up.
- ( gasps ) - Hey.
- My wand! - ( growls )
- Okay, I have to tell you something, doofus. - Huh?
You make me mad, but I still love--
- I mean, I care about-- ah! - ( Jonas pounding ) Fee!
- ( grunts ) - Jonas: Fie!
Foe!
- Fum! - ( rock crumbling )
Both: Huh?
- ( grunts ) - Huh?
- Boo. ( yelling ) - ( Rockasaurus screaming )
( both giggling )
( growling )
Run away, you coward!
Well.
Anyone else here want to test my patience?
You should lose your temper more often, old boy.
Oh, real funny!
- Oh, sorry-- - ( laughing )
Whee! That was fun!
Wow, I never saw anyone get mad like that before.
I love that guy.
The guy breaks one rock and suddenly he's your hero.
Huh? What the hay?
You just have to remember that every rock has a heart of gold.
Why, Sir Jonas, you are so very insightful.
Both: Huh? Hmm?
- What did you say this time? - Nothing.
I just don't understand why he's always mad at me!
We just wanted a little taste. That's all.
And we only picked on the little ones, Master.
- ( whimpering ) - You fool.
You almost ruined my whole plan.
Don't worry. I'm saving the best meal for you, my pet.
Uh, excuse me?
We're all ready to build the new bridge, Master!
Then why are you still here?
Um... uh.
Sebastian?
- Are you sure this is the right way? - Mm-hmm.
Right, I for one did not sign up to go into any haunted forests.
Sam: Gentlemen, have you forgotten?
I grew up in the forests, so there's no need to fear.
And if two big tough knights of the kingdom
are too afraid to go into a little haunted forest,
then I'll just have to go by myself.
Let's see your little princess do that, Sebastian.
( chuckles )
( birds calling )
( wolf howling )
( gasps )
( sighs )
( water falling )
( grunts )
All right, let's build this bridge!
What's taking so long? That's it.
No cheese and crackers for anyone tonight!
Provolone: Come on, man. Let me see.
( sighs )
( yawning )
I'm watching the years of my life go by without me.
Wake me up when something happens.
( snoring )
- Huh? What? - Wake up.
- The rats are on the move. - Oh, thank goodness!
I was getting tired of standing around all day.
Maybe when we give the news to the king,
he'll reward us with some chairs.
Yes! Then we could sit around all day.
( wolf howling )
- ( animal growls ) - Thaddeus: Who goes there?
Come out and fight like a mouse.
- ( loud growling ) - ( both gasp )
( both gasp )
- ( stomach growling ) - What?
Some nights, it won't even let me sleep.
- It's like... - Oh, it's just your tummy.
...living with a monster.
- I'm so hungry. - Guys, Monkey Butt is waiting for us in the land of giants.
Now we need to keep going, okay?
If we don't get the magic crystal,
the kingdom of mice will be destroyed.
What we need, Chosen One, is a good night's sleep.
We're not getting anywhere walking around in circles like this.
I'm not sleeping in a haunted forest, Sir Thaddeus,
especially on an empty stomach,
and even more especially without my night light.
Well, maybe our great wizard here
can conjure up a campfire and a grill,
and a couple of cheese steaks. How does that sound, Sir Jonas?
( gasps ) Best idea ever!
I'll take mine with pickles and marinara.
Sorry, guys, everyone knows that conjuring fire--
like actual fire-- is impossible.
- Yes, that's what I though-- oh! - ( pops )
Looks like I can do the impossible.
- Why, you little-- - I've had just about enough.
We have a mission to complete.
- ( yawning ) - Move it, buster.
Yes, ma'am.
( Jonas snoring )
- ( King Rey laughing ) - ( sighing )
Oh, the Dark Rodent is so stupid.
- Please! What a joke. Is he insane? - Joke?
- ( laughing ) - Your Highness,
- this is no laughing matter. - Come on, Dalliwog!
Relax! You have to see the humor in this situation.
The gorge is, what? A mile across?
Both: Ahh.
It would take weeks to build a new bridge!
( laughing )
( growls )
Dark Rodent: Soon, Master Dalliwog,
you shall learn the penalty
for forcing me underground.
We should be underneath the kingdom of mice
any minute now, Master!
( laughing )
Thaddeus: Well, it's official.
- We're lost. - Sebastian: We're not lost.
( whispering ) Hey, just between you and me,
are we lost?
We're fine. Come on.
I know where we're going.
Hmm.
( whispers ) Was I reading this upside-down?
I'm tired. Can someone give me a back massage?
All: No.
Foot massage?
- All: No! - ( grumbling )
Nobody loves me.
I try to be a good person, but they don't even care.
What's wrong with me?!
I'm attractive, kind of like a teddy bear.
Yeah! A big, beautiful bear in a halter top.
I can't take it anymore!
You're driving me crazy, man.
And you with your ridiculous map.
If you were the chosen one, you would know
that this is not a map, it's a drawing
scribbled by a little girl.
What is that smell? ( sniffing )
Cheese, baby! Oh, yeah! Whoo!
Poor Sir Jonas, he's finally gone mad with hunger.
Oh, my beautiful cheese!
He's not crazy. Look.
Oh, beautiful cheese! More cheese!
- But, uh... - Glorious cheese!
Jonas: Wonderful cheese!
Beautiful cheese!
The stories are true. This is where the fairies go
to trade their treasure for the magic crystals,
the gateway to the land of giants.
We did it, man.
Jonas: Whoo-hoo! Yeah!
Come on, in here!
You're never going to believe this.
All: Huh?
Wow.
Ah.
Look, I'm the strongest mouse in the world.
- ( Sam laughs ) Whoo! - Sebastian: Cool.
I can eat all the cheese I want
and never gain a pound.
Sam!
Yeah!
Whee!
That's impossible.
What is this place?
Sam: Whee!
Isn't it beautiful, Sir Thaddeus?
Not too shabby.
Come on in! The cheese is fine.
Sebastian, wait!
Ah! ( giggling )
Come on, Sir Thaddeus, don't be such a poop.
No, I prefer to keep my feet on the ground.
- Thank you. - Hey, I'm flying.
- ( laughs ) Hmm. - ( humphs ) Huh?
- Mommy! Don't let go. - ( laughs )
I love you, too.
This is totally the best ride ever.
Let's go on again.
( Sam laughing )
I think this ride's about to get a lot rougher.
All: Whoa!
( all screaming )
- ( thumping ) - Sebastian: Ow.
That hurt.
- Sam: Where are we? - Jonas: This, my mousy friend,
is called a dark ride.
Ooh, scary.
Thaddeus: Can we be practical for once
and find a way out of here, please?
Sam: I see a light at the end of the tunnel.
Jonas: Don't go toward the light!
What a tragedy. She was so young!
Thaddeus: It's a metaphor, Sir Jonas.
It means she sees a positive outcome to a negative situation.
Sam: No, I actually see a light. Right there.
All: Oh!
( hammering )
This is it.
Bring in the drill!
Stop!
( laughing )
( guffawing )
This is the land of giants?
Put some effort into it. Come on.
It's kind of depressing.
No forest, no trees.
You'd think the land of giants would have a bigger doorway.
Right?
Ahhh!
Mmm!
- Ah! - Aqua Velva!
What the--? My magic doesn't work here.
Well, that's ironic.
- A bouncing-- - Huh?
Hmm. Let's investigate.
What is it?
Huh. Looks like some kind of egg.
Thaddeus: Take that! And there! And there's some more for you.
It's about to hatch.
( grunting )
Ah! Take that, there!
I don't mean to interrupt, but the giants are coming!
We'll be safe here behind the egg.
Are you sure? 'Cause it looks like they're headed straight for us.
Giants wouldn't hurt their own egg.
Oh, yes, they would! Oh, yes, they would!
( all scream )
Jonas: I wouldn't want to go to their house for Easter.
That was a close one. Guys, we'd better watch--
Monsters!
You guys are so cute.
So apparently, we just have to find the castle and then--
that's a lot of castles.
( birds chirping )
Hmm hmm.
- Bingo! - ( all cheering )
( Sam laughing ) Okay, okay, I got one.
What did the giant mouse say to the little cat?
Sebastian: Here, kitty, kitty, kitty.
No fair! You heard it before.
Hey, there it is.
- Sam: Wow. - Thaddeus: Ah.
Mmm, wait! It's that one.
- ( all sigh ) - This one, that one.
- What difference does it make? - ( sighs )
- All these castles are exactly the same. - If we only had a clue.
- Girl: I lost a tooth, Mommy. - Yeah!
- Mother: You sure did. Put it under your pillow... - How's that for a clue?
...so the tooth fairy will give you a quarter.
- Thaddeus: Ah, rubbish. - It's just like on the map.
Huh. Just a coincidence, I'm sure.
Mother: Okay, honey, time to go to bed.
Girl: Night, Mommy.
Hmm.
- Thaddeus: Well, Sebastian. - Good night, Monkey Butt.
- Ah! - Huh?
( squeaking )
( whistling )
( grunting ) Why is every door in the land of giants so small?
- ( sighs ) Okay, maybe it's me. - Oh, dear.
You know, if you're serious about exercise--
Exercise? With my schedule, I hardly have time to be lazy.
Well then, I'm afraid you're just simply
going to have to cut the cheese, old boy.
( farts ) That's my specialty.
Wow.
Sam: Hmm, what's that smell?
( laughs ) Well, you know what they say, Sam:
she who smelt it, dealt it.
Sam: Classy, Sebastian.
Real classy.
Oh, stairs? Go on without me, guys.
I'm out of gas.
( snoring )
Whoo!
( yelling )
Pull up a chair.
Stick around a while, mice.
( door creaking )
This looks like Monkey Butt's room.
Let's split up and find the crystal.
- Well said, Sebastian. - Huh?
What?
Sam: Okay, Sir Thaddeus,
you and Sir Jonas take that side.
- Sebastian and I will look over here. - ( growling )
( laughs )
That's my throne, stupid!
Correction. I think you mean was your throne,
and don't call me stupid.
This castle belongs to the Dark Rodent now, stupid.
( growls )
- ( laughing ) - ( hissing )
( screams )
I was just keeping it warm for you!
- Dark Rodent: Silence! - ( grunts )
I don't care about a stupid chair.
Now where's the princess?
If you want to see the princess, you'll have to come back during visiting hours,
which is 9:00 to 6:00.
What?
Maybe you didn't hear what he said.
Take your giant serpent and slither back to where you came from.
Master, before you got here, he was making fun of me and calling me names.
I say we take him to the dungeon and torture him!
Search the castle from top to bottom.
- General: Mm-hmm. - If he won't talk,
make him talk.
- ( grunts ) - Now.
Hey, guys, I'm Jonas and this is my friend Thaddeus.
( muttering ) Where is it?
- We come in peace. - Huh?
- Thaddeus, say hi. - Who on Earth are you talking to?
Behind you.
They seem friendly enough, but they sure don't talk much.
Nope!
Eh. Not here.
( grunts ) Check it out.
Both: Mm-hmm.
Sebastian: If I know girls,
then the crystal is in that treasure chest.
The princess would definitely--
You mention the princess one more time, I'm going to strangle you, Sebastian.
- And it's called a jewelry box... - Whatever.
- ...not a treasure chest. - Are you jealous?
You're jealous of the princess, aren't you?
I can't believe I didn't see it before.
- Huh? - ( laughing ) It's so obvious.
You're all like, "oh, I want to live in the forest,"
when in reality, you want to live in a castle
with maids and servants, and wear a veil.
- Sam: Seriously? - Sebastian: I got your number.
Whatever, Sherlock.
( grunting )
Slowly, careful.
( grunting )
Jonas: I wouldn't do that if I were you.
( chuckles )
Huh?
- Thaddeus: Mommy. - You see...
life is like a box of chocolates.
You can't just get mad when someone eats all the good ones.
- You've got to be thankful for what you have. - Jonas: Behind you.
Now if you'll excuse me,
I've got a princess to save.
What are you doing?
"Look at me, boys.
I'm the princess. Everybody rescue me."
It's just so primitive.
Jonas: Psst, over here.
- ( gasps ) - Here, kitty, kitty, kitty.
( meows )
- Ah! - Thaddeus: Why, Sir Jonas,
you too have a knack for problem-solving.
Elementary, my dear Thaddeus.
No cat can resist a giant mouse.
Well, we certainly do have his attention. Huh?
Ah! Ahhh! Save yourself, Chosen One!
So nice to see you again, Master Dalliwog.
What's the matter?
You don't recognize your old student?
Well, you do look like an angrier version of someone I used to know.
Surprised?
Not really. There was always something,
I don't know, not quite right about you.
You abandoned me!
You abandoned yourself when you tried to take what can only be given.
It's mine!
Mmm.
And your Chosen One
will deliver it right into my hands.
- Hmm? - The magic crystal is mine.
The princess is mine.
The castle is mine!
Everything is mine, mine, mine!
This kid has some serious issues.
- ( Thaddeus pants ) - Good kitty. Good kitty.
What do we do now, Sir Thaddeus?
Thaddeus: This was your plan, Sir Jonas.
Jonas: Hey, door stays open, cat.
Hurry up, man. Is it in there?
- ( grunts ) - Sam: Hey, Sebastian!
- Hey! - What do you want?
Why weren't you answering?
Did you find it or what?
Hmm.
- Eek! - Sam: What the heck was that?
Talk to me, dude.
I'm supposed to be your eyes and ears on the ground here.
- ( soft music playing ) - Dude?
( growling )
Jonas: Okay, nothing to see here, folks.
( grunting )
( grunts )
Hey, what's that light thing?
Sebastian: Looks like some kind of hieroglyphics.
Wait, that's us.
This must be the oracle of the prophecy.
See, there's the bats.
Whoa.
- And the princess. - Sam: Again with the princess!
And the white crystal! ( yelps )
( growling )
Girl: Bad kitty.
( meows )
You must be the one they call Monkey Butt.
Yeah, that's what my mommy calls me.
I lost a tooth today. See?
Aw, you sure did.
We've got something to give you.
Guys, meet Monkey Butt.
- Sam: What's up? - Thaddeus: A baby giant.
Rat: Just my luck.
He takes over the castle, and I gotta work the dungeon.
But gotta pay the bills, gotta feed the kids--
all 936 of them.
Soldier: Hey, there she is.
Hey, guys, we found the princess.
Oh, no. Oh, no, anything but that.
Soldier: Okay, Princess, we can do this the easy way
or the hard way.
- ( banging ) - ( grunting )
( gasps )
( grunting, fighting )
Oh! Hyah! Hyah!
You're such a man, dear.
How do you mistake a princess for a queen?
Girl: You're the tooth fairy?
No, actually, it's a long story.
You're silly.
Yay! A quarter!
Wait, wait, I got something for you, too.
- The white crystal! - Jonas: That's adorable.
- It's been an honor, Monkey Butt. - Thaddeus: Your grace.
What do you want my tooth for?
Why, didn't I tell you?
I'm going to save the kingdom and marry the princess.
A princess?
- ( bell dinging ) - Greetings, neighbors.
I'm Princess Monkey Butt.
Dude, you are a bad influence.
Why don't we have these where we're from?
I like modern transportation!
And I like eggs!
The Lady Monkey Butt.
- Sebastian: Bye, Monkey Butt. - Jonas: Oh, so cute.
Wait, are you gonna come see me again?
Uh, hmm. Well, ah, you see...
Sure. Why not?
How about tomorrow?
Well, maybe not that soon. ( laughs )
Yay!
You be a good girl, okay?
You're so silly.
I'm a princess!
Dark rodent: Giants.
For years they kept me locked in a cage,
running on that stupid wheel
that doesn't go anywhere, like a hamster!
Oh, come on, man.
You tried to steal a crystal
without giving the kid a quarter in return.
You can't expect to break the law of the fairies and not pay the price.
What does that have to do with imprisoning me?
Only you can unlock your own cage.
Indeed.
And I escaped with no help from you or any other mouse.
You have no idea what they did to me.
But you will learn, Master.
You will learn.
( laughing )
Huh? What the--
How in the world did you guys get up there?
Trying to get out of work again, huh?
Just wait till the Dark Rodent hears about this.
- Back to work! - Want to see a magic trick?
Ah! How did you do that without your wand?
It's not the wand that makes a wizard, General.
It's his heart. Which reminds me,
why did the Dark Rodent send you out onto that bridge?
I don't know. Maybe...
Didn't he know the bridge would be destroyed?
- Uh... - I don't know.
Doesn't sound like he cares about you much.
- Tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk. - ( pops )
( all shouting )
- ( Jonas yells ) - Ah!
( grunting )
You all right, Sir Jonas?
Hey. ( grunts )
Who am I kidding? I'm not built for this.
I'll see you guys in two weeks.
Come on, we can all go on vacation when we get home.
If we have to put up with this the whole way,
it'll take us two weeks just to get home.
So, Sebastian, what are your thoughts on the subject?
What? What do you mean?
I don't know how long it'll take us to get home.
How could I possibly know that?
Maybe you could get us home a little faster.
Sam, I don't know what you're implying,
but we should probably start walking, okay?
We have a long road ahead of us.
Or you could just use the magic crystal
to get us back to the castle.
I don't think that's such a good idea, Sam.
- I mean-- - Poppycock.
Sebastian, I never thought I'd be saying this,
but I have faith in you.
- ( chuckling ) - Okay.
What do you say we get the heck out of here then, guys?
Thaddeus: One for all and all for one.
You ready?
One, two...
Dark Rodent: Welcome, Chosen One.
That was awesome!
Kneel before your new master.
As if, weirdo!
Ah, the infamous cat whisker.
What are you going to do, tickle me to death?
Drop your weapons,
- or l'll feed her to my snake. - He's bluffing!
Don't listen to him.
( hissing )
( Dark Rodent laughing )
Did you really think I would harm my bride?
Sam: Uh, gross. Wow, that's disgusting.
- You're just jealous-- - What did you say,
- Teddy bear? - You're just jealous!
Sam: Now! Use the crystal!
- Jonas: Now, Sebastian! - Sim sala bi--
Samantha! Hey, Dark Rodent!
I command you to unhand my daughter
- right this instant. - Sebastian: Sam's a princess?
Daughter? You mean Sam's--
tell me you knew that.
But that means that--
you failed.
Finally, the magic crystal is mine.
( laughs )
I'm the chosen one now.
All my dreams will come true.
Rats, fulfill the dark prophecy.
Seize them.
- Why don't you do it yourself? - ( chuckles )
So that's how it is?
General Rat: Yup, that's how it is.
So be it!
I have everything I need...
- ( Sam moaning ) - ...right here.
Behold the prophecy.
"And darkness covered the land."
- ( all barking ) - Come, my queen!
Ahh!
- ( all barking ) - Sebastian: Where'd they go?
Ah! Master, you have to stop them.
Well, not afraid of a little competition, are you?
But I can't beat him.
I don't even have the magic crystal.
You heard him... back there.
I've already failed.
Sebastian, the crystal is only a symbol
of what you already possess in your heart.
Well, go get her, son!
( mutters )
Oh, this is so exciting.
- There's so much to do. - ( Sam screams )
But first, say goodbye to your beloved forest.
I do hope you'll be happy living underground...
with me!
- Not likely, weirdo! - Sam: Sebastian!
Why don't you pick on someone your own size?
Sam: Hey, where's your wand?
( laughing )
( grunts )
( Sam shouts )
Sebastian, wake up!
- You're finished! - Oh, man!
( hissing )
Never!
Ah!
( hissing )
Oh, Sebastian!
Oh, Princess?
Sam: So are you disappointed?
Are you crazy? I got two for the price of one.
Hmm.
( engine whirring down )
Well, that's that, I guess.
- ( gasps ) - Huh?
Take my hand, Sam.
- Thanks. - ( high-pitched voice ) Ah, that's better.
It was getting quite funky in there.
I think we got off to a bad start.
Why don't we work together?
After all, we're both civilized mice,
not filthy humans who do experiments on us
in a science lab!
What's wrong with you, man? Are you deranged?
( laughs ) Yes.
I suppose that's a little side effect.
Now give it to me! Come on, guys, I really want that crystal.
Well, get used to disappointment.
Say when.
Ahh! ( panting )
- ( both struggling ) - Give me that.
Ahhh!
( evil laughter )
Did you really think you could outsmart me?
Don't be ridiculous.
What's the matter? Afraid of the dark?
- No, Dark Rodent. - Sebastian.
Dalliwog's voice: The crystal is only a symbol.
Light always overcomes darkness.
No!
I believe in you, Sebastian.
( screams ) I can't see! I can't see!
I've been blinded by the--
( screams )
If I told you once, I told you a thousand times-- you got this.
No, we got this.
Enough with the smoochy face!
- ( Sam gasps ) - Now let's finish this, shall we?
Come on, spit-spot.
Wait, I have an idea.
( humming )
Huh? ( laughing )
A fairy. How lovely.
( yelps )
Pathetic. Is that all you've got?
You're going to have to do better than that,
Chosen One!
Huh?
( yelps ) No, help, help! What's going on?
( grunting )
( screaming ) No!
Whoa! My crystal.
My crystal! Give me back my crystal!
( grunting )
Man, fairies kick butt.
Oh, that was nothing, Princess.
He got off easy.
- ( birds chirping ) - Ah, you guys look so cute together.
- Samantha, you're safe! - Dalliwog: I hope I wasn't interrupting anything.
And you're grounded.
And you're safe.
Queen: Good to have you home, Sam.
- Yeah! - Hey, who's the man?
Let's celebrate! How about that foot massage?
Well, we've got to get going. We've got a long journey ahead of us.
And if you ever need a good general, I'm your rat.
Give me a shout if you're ever in the 'hood.
- Peace, dawgs. - Right on, hood rat.
You know, I wouldn't be surprised
if they made a movie about us someday.
Oh, yeah. I can see it now.
It'll be called "The Mouse Who Worked Too Much."
I think this belongs to you, Your Majesty.
- No, no, Sebastian, we still have a lot of work to do. - Sebastian.
- According to the prophecy-- - What I was trying to tell you before is--
Oh, I guess we've had enough prophecies for one day.
This is worse than I thought.
The only thing that could fill this darkness
is a declaration of true love.
Well, I guess it's just destiny.
- I love you! - I love the princess!
Sam: Excuse me?
I-I mean Sam!
Or Samantha? ( nervous chuckle )
Princess Samantha, thank you very much.
Well, it's not a castle,
but it'll have to do for now.
( squeals )
Oh, Sebastian, it's wonderful!
( laughs )
And so the princess and the handsome wizard
lived happily ever after.
But I don't get it, Grandpa.
So they didn't want to live at the castle?
No, they knew they'd be just as happy
- living in a tree house. - Child: Wow!
- Yeah. - Don't be a stranger now.
- Bye, Grandma! Bye, Grandpa! - Bye, Grandma! Bye, Grandpa!
Come on, guys, let's go and play!
Bye, Mom. Bye, Dad.
Guess what, Grandpa? I'm going to be a wizard.
Just look in your heart. That's where the real magic is.
( children playing )
Looks like the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.
- Child: I'm gonna get you! - No, you're not!
- Settle down, kids. - We're playing!
I see.
- Yeah! - Take that!
- Come back here! - Come on!
- Come on, Chip.
Time to go home.
If I was a fairy, where would I hide?
Hmm.
I can do it, I can do it, I can do it.
I know I can do it.
- ( humming ) - Whoa!
I did it!
Bye-bye, everyone!
♪ Hey hey hey ♪
Woman: ♪ I know I'm acting shady ♪
♪ It's only 'cause I like you ♪
♪ Won't you call me baby? ♪
♪ Just until the night's through ♪
♪ We could dance all night ♪
♪ We could have a good time ♪
♪ We could make tonight ♪
♪ Last a lifetime ♪
Man: ♪ I know I'm kind of crazy ♪
♪ But maybe that's a good thing ♪
♪ You're taking me the wrong way ♪
♪ But maybe you're just moody ♪
♪ We could dance all night ♪
♪ We could have a good time ♪
♪ We could make tonight ♪
♪ Last a lifetime ♪
♪ Make it last a lifetime ♪
Both: ♪ And when you call my name ♪
♪ You know I won't be there ♪
♪ Ain't got no time to waste ♪
♪ I know that it's not fair ♪
♪ But I don't care ♪
♪ Hey hey hey ♪
♪ And when you call my name ♪
♪ You know I won't be there ♪
♪ Ain't got no time to waste ♪
♪ I know that it's not fair ♪
♪ But I don't care ♪
♪ Hey hey hey ♪
( vocalizing )
♪ I don't need a bad boy ♪
♪ Breaking all the wrong rules ♪
♪ I'm looking for a good time ♪
♪ Baby, can you be cool? ♪
♪ We could dance all night ♪
♪ We could have a good time ♪
♪ We could make tonight ♪
♪ Last a lifetime ♪
♪ I'll take you to the theater ♪
♪ Where nothing's gonna matter ♪
♪ Come on, close your eyes, girl ♪
♪ l'll make your heart beat faster ♪
♪ We could dance all night ♪
♪ We could have a good time ♪
♪ We could make tonight ♪
♪ Last a lifetime ♪
♪ Make it last a lifetime ♪
♪ And when you call my name ♪
♪ You know I won't be there ♪
♪ Ain't got no time to waste ♪
♪ I know that it's not fair ♪
♪ No, but I don't care ♪
♪ Hey hey hey ♪
♪ And when you call my name, you know I won't be there ♪
♪ Ain't got no time to waste, I know that it's not fair ♪
♪ But I don't care ♪
♪ Hey hey hey ♪
♪ I don't care, no, I don't care ♪
♪ I don't care, no, hey hey hey ♪
♪ I don't care, no, I don't care ♪
♪ I don't care, no, hey hey hey ♪
♪ And when you call my name, you know I won't be there ♪
♪ Ain't got no time to waste, I know that it's not fair ♪
♪ No, but I don't care ♪
♪ Hey hey hey ♪
♪ And when you call my name, you know I won't be there ♪
♪ Ain't got no time to waste, I know that it's not fair ♪
♪ It's not fair ♪
♪ But I don't care ♪
♪ Hey hey hey ♪
( dramatic music playing )
( music continues )
( piano music playing )
Hmm. ( gasps )
( laughs )