(量子穩定器啟動)
來吧,比利! Come on, Billy!
♪ One minute I'm in Central Park ♪
《我當你兄弟》
然後你在哪裡?你在哪裡? Then where are you? Then where are you?
♪ Then I'm down on Delancey Street ♪
♪ From the Bowery to Saint Mark's ♪
♪ There's a syncopated beat ♪
♪ And all the silly motherfuckers Be singing ♪
♪ Whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo ♪
我是什麼?我是什麼? What am I? What am I?
♪ I'm streetwise ♪
♪ I can improvise ♪
♪ And everybody say ♪
♪ Whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo ♪
♪ I'm street smart ♪
♪ I've got New York City heart ♪
♪ Why should I worry? ♪
♪ Why should I care? ♪
♪ I may not have a dime ♪
♪ But what do I got? I got street savoir faire ♪
♪ Why should I worry? ♪
♪ Why should I care? ♪
♪ It's just bebopulation ♪
♪ And I got street savoir faire ♪
♪ The rhythm of the city ♪
♪ But once you get it down ♪
♪ You can own this town ♪
♪ You can wear the crown ♪
當然是這樣!天啊! Of course! Oh, my God!
♪ Why should I care? ♪
♪ I said, I may not have a dime ♪
♪ But I got street savoir faire ♪
♪ Why should I worry? ♪
♪ Why should I care? ♪
♪ It's just doo-bopulation ♪
♪ And I got street savoir faire ♪
♪ They love me at the Chelsea They adore me at the Ritz ♪
搞什麼? What the fuck?
停,停,等一下!先給我等一下 Stop, stop, stop, hold on! Hold on, hold on.
你他媽的怎麼會... How do you even fuckin'--
(派對)
♪ Got to get loose ♪
♪ Everybody get loose ♪
(吉米小子,歡迎回來!)
♪ That feelin' ♪
- ♪ Gotta keep the music jumpin' ♪ - ♪ Oh, yeah ♪
(我在牢裡蹲了六年 只換到這個爛到爆的蛋糕)
♪ Everybody get loose ♪
(以茲紀念此賢妻良母)
上...上 Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go!
放輕鬆! Get loose!
爽啦! Biatch!
好的 All right.
在場的各位殺手、軍人 和幫派分子都給我聽好了 Now, I want all you killers, soldiers, and gangsters to listen up.
給我閉嘴 Shut the fuck up.
我雖然貴為老大 I may be the boss,
但在我心裡,這輩子最重大的責任 but I consider my number one job
就是好好當一位父親 is the job of being a father.
如今我這俊俏的兒子終於出獄了! And my beautiful son is finally out of prison!
這是個值得慶祝的夜晚! This is the night to celebrate!
- 一、二 - 萬歲 - Hip, hip... - Hooray.
- 一、二 - 萬歲! - Hip, hip... - Hooray!
我要跟各位把話講明白 Now, I want you all to know
當初害他入獄的人就在你們之中 that one of you is the reason he went to prison in the first place.
你們當中有個該死的內鬼 One of you is a fuckin' rat.
- 該死 - 什麼? Oh, shit.
而正當你享受這夜晚 And while you enjoy the night,
自認為一切都很順利,其實呢... and you think that everything is in the clear, well...
你的死期就要到了 Your time will come.
我向你保證 That I promise you.
你他媽的會付出代價 Your time will fuckin' come.
沒錯,就是這樣 Fuck yeah, it will.
但於此同時... But in the meantime...
大家好好慶祝吧! ...enjoy the festivities!
王八蛋 Motherfucker.
♪ Miracles will happen as we trip ♪
♪ But we're never gonna survive, unless ♪
♪ We get a little crazy ♪
♪ Unless we are a little ♪
♪ Crazy ♪
♪ Crazy yellow people walking through my head ♪
♪ One of them's got a gun, to shoot the other one ♪
- 我好興奮,卻也有點嫉妒 - 嗨,掰了,晚點見 I'm excited, but I'm a little jealous. Hello. Ciao, I'll catch you later.
- 好,待會見 - 再見 - All right, we'll see you in a bit. - Bye.
很高興見到你, 你也是 Hey, good to see you. Yeah, you too.
嗨 Hi.
你有打算去續攤嗎? Are you going to the after-party?
我們都知道這派對會有續攤 然後是續續攤 Oh, we know about the after-party, the after-after-party,
還有續續續攤派對 and the after-after-after-party.
別以為老婆們都沒收到邀請 - Mmm... - Just because the wives are not invited
就可以把這件事當作祕密 doesn't mean you can keep a secret from us.
我並沒打算去續攤 Well, I'm not going to that.
你想去的話,也是可以 Well, you can if you want to.
妳對我真好,我可以去嗎? Oh. That's so nice. Can I?
那麼,我就跟姐妹們去續攤了 Well, I guess I'll go out with the girls then.
好,玩得開心點 Okay. Well, have fun.
假裝你還喜歡著我,有那麼難嗎? Is it that hard to still pretend you like me?
嗨,聽著,我不講妳也知道 Hey, listen, I don't wanna overstate the obvious,
但我真的超想見到妳 but I'm pretty fuckin' excited to see you.
我也等不及要見你了 I can't wait to see you too.
好,801號房,我在櫃檯留了張房卡給妳 Okay. It's room 801. I left you a key at the front desk.
- 用那來搭電梯 - 你有買香檳嗎? - You need it for the elevator. - Did you get champagne?
我有買香檳嗎?有,我幫妳買了... Did I get champagne? Yeah, I got you some...
稍微貴一點的香檳 uh, moderately expensive champagne
- 我不知道,也許還買了些花 - 你說溜嘴囉 - and, I don't know, maybe some flowers. - Mmm, spoiler.
但我沒說是哪一種花,對吧? I didn't tell you what kind of flowers, did I?
所以還算是保留了一點驚喜 So there's still a little element of surprise.
你買了向日葵送我 You got me sunflowers.
天哪,妳怎麼猜到的? Fuckin' hell. How did you guess that?
畢竟你很有自己的風格 Well, you can be very specific.
顯然如此 Evidently.
- 你有叫客房服務? - 我才沒有 - Did you get room service? - No. Hell no.
飯店的餐點都很難吃,等我一下 Hotel food is always terrible. Hang on.
麥克,我知道你在裡面,開門 Mike, I know you're there. Open up.
完蛋了! Holy shit!
- 該死! - 寶貝,怎麼了? - Fuck! - What's wrong, babe?
麥克,快開門 Open the door, Mike.
- 我知道你在裡面 - 該死! - I know you're in there. - Fuck!
完了,那聲音是尼克嗎? Oh, shit. Is that... Is that Nick?
對,他在這裡 Yeah. Yeah, he's here.
麥克,無論如何,千萬別開門 Mike, whatever you do, do not open the door.
- 麥克,快開門 - 媽的! - Come on, Mike. - Fuck!
別讓我像個蠢蛋一樣站在這裡 Don't make me stand out here like an asshole.
絕對別開門,他會殺了你 Do not open the fucking door. He's gonna kill you.
妳先去避一下,我再找時間打給妳 You gotta get out of sight, all right. I'm gonna call you when I can.
- 如果還辦得到的話 - 麥克,麥克 - If I can. - Mike. Mike, Mike, Mike.
該死 Oh, fuck.
嘿,兄弟,怎麼了? Hey, bud. What's up?
- 嘿 - 嘿 - Hey. - Hey.
方便聊一下嗎? Can you talk?
你有話要講? 方便,想聊什麼? You wanna talk? Yeah. About what?
隔壁有一間滿不錯的咖啡店 There's that nice coffee shop next door.
我從早上到現在還都空著肚子 I haven't eaten anything since this morning,
想去那邊吃點東西 so I thought, I'd just grab a bite real quick.
好,當然沒問題,但你不是... Yeah, man. Yeah, of course. Well, didn't you...
- 你不是才在派對上吃過嗎? - 是 - Didn't you eat at the party, though? - Yeah.
我有吃了,但還是嘴饞 Yeah, I did, but I still got an appetite.
要來嗎? You coming?
好,老兄,沒問題,當然可以 Yeah, man. Yeah. Yeah, of course. Sure, sure.
你其實可以直接點冰咖啡 You could've just ordered iced coffee.
- 其實我喜歡喝常溫的 - 你真是有原則 - Well, I like it room temperature. - You're very specific.
是呀,別人都這樣說我 Yeah. So I've been told.
方便幫我個忙嗎? Do me a favor?
我今晚想請快槍麥克出馬 I could use Quick Draw Mike tonight.
- 討債? - 對 - Collections? - Yeah.
還有其他東西要討回來 And some other stuff.
今晚可能會有點辛苦且怪異 It might get a little heavy and weird tonight,
但好消息是,我們應該能在日出前完成 but good news is, we should be done before the sun comes up.
那麼吉米小子的續攤派對呢? And what about Jimmy Boy's after-party?
不,這件事... Ah. No, this is...
比續攤重要多了 This is more important than that,
而且時間有點緊迫,所以... and it's also a little bit time-sensitive so...
我的意思是,我身上沒帶傢伙 I mean, I don't... I don't have a piece on me.
我有很多 I've got plenty of 'em.
聽著,尼克 有件事我得跟你講明白,好嗎? Listen, Nick. There's something I gotta talk to you about, man-to-man, okay?
而我想你聽了會很不爽 And you're not gonna like it.
過去這幾週,我一直想跟你講 I've been trying to bring it up the last couple of weeks,
卻總覺得時機不對,我只是想開誠布公 but it hasn't felt like the right time. And I just wanna clear the air.
你打算離開組織? You're leaving the organization?
等一下,你怎麼會知道? Hold on, how the fuck do you know that?
我就是知道 I know things.
沒錯,我受夠了 我不再想碰那些暴力和槍枝 Yeah. Yeah, I'm done with it. I'm done with the violence, done with the guns.
我無法再當什麼快槍麥克了 I can't do the Quick Draw Mike thing anymore, you know.
好了,可以幫我個忙嗎? 話先講到這裡就好,可以嗎? All right. Can you do me a favor? Just stop right there. Stop. Okay?
現在是10點05分,我的行程很緊湊 It is exactly 10:05, and I'm on a very tight schedule.
因此,就幫我一個忙 這位即將成為前同事的人 So, just do me a favor, for a soon-to-be former colleague here,
然後,明天開始過你的正常生活 and then start your normal life tomorrow.
好嗎? All right?
我們得走了 We gotta scram.
我的車停在後面,走吧 I'm parked in the back. Let's move.
為什麼不停在路邊車格就好? Why didn't you, uh, park at a meter?
你知道我向來能省則省 I'm cheap, you know that.
你怎麼知道我在那間飯店,尼克? How'd you know I was at the hotel, Nick?
快動手吧 Ah, just do it.
- 動手? - 少來了,老兄 - Do what? - Come on, man.
直接來,給我一個痛快 Just do it. Get it over with.
我才不要讓自己在這地球上的最後時光 Listen, I'm not gonna spend my final moments on this planet
浪費在等待你扣下扳機的焦慮不安上 having an anxiety attack waiting for you to pull the trigger.
- 要殺就殺,快點 - 天啊,麥克 - You're gonna kill me, kill me. Come on. - Jesus, Mike.
你為什麼這麼疑神疑鬼? Why are you so damn paranoid?
你沒打算要殺我嗎? You're not gonna kill me?
- 你說你需要傢伙,對吧? - 對 - You said you needed a piece, right? - Right.
- 這把傢伙給你 - 不,不行 - Here's your piece. - No, no, no.
不行,我受夠了,我不碰槍也不殺人 No. I'm done with that. No guns, no killing.
但如果你要我去修理誰一頓,我可以幫忙 But if you want me to rough somebody up, I could do that.
也許修理一頓就夠了 先看今晚會如何發展再說 Maybe that'll be enough. Let's see how the night goes.
我的車就在你身後 That's my car right behind you.
記得我說過我行程很緊湊嗎? 我是說真的,來吧 Remember how I said I had a tight schedule? I'm not kidding. Come on.
媽的 Fuck.
(看來我的最後一晚要跟尼克一起度過)
(這感覺太不妙了)
(在飯店房間裡等我)
這是生活所需 The cost of living.
會有所轉變... Transformation...
尼克,我們為什麼要來你家? Why are we at your house, Nick?
打開置物箱 Open the glove compartment.
(氯仿)
這是什麼? What's this?
- 這是氯仿 - 氯什麼? - That's chloroform. - Chlo what?
- 你不知道氯仿是什麼? - 我該知道嗎? - You don't know what chloroform is? - Should I know what chloroform is?
- 你有看過電影嗎? - 有,我看過很多電影 - Have you ever seen a movie? - Yeah, I've seen many movies.
你看過裡面有用到氯仿的電影嗎? And have you ever seen a movie with chloroform in it?
- 我不知道 - 你最喜歡哪一類電影? - I don't know. - Okay, what's your favorite genre?
- 最愛哪個類型? - 恐怖片 - What's your go-to genre? - Horror.
好,你看過恐怖片裡有人使用氯仿嗎? Okay. Have you... Have you seen 'em use chloroform in a movie?
- 音樂劇嗎? - 好,聽我說 - A musical? - Okay, just listen to me.
你去按門鈴,有人會來應門 You're gonna ring the doorbell. Somebody's gonna answer the door.
然後在對方開口講話之前,你拿這塊抹布 Before they can get out a single word, you take that rag
先沾滿這東西 然後蓋住對方的鼻子和嘴巴 that's soaked in that shit, and you cover their nose and their mouth.
那就是氯仿? Oh, that's chloro-- That's chloroform?
你可以直接講濕抹布,這樣比較好懂 You could've just said the wet rag thing. Made it easier.
- 我不懂什麼化學名詞 - 好,很好 - I don't know the technical term for it. - Okay, fine. Great.
你就用這塊「濕抹布」,好嗎?聽我說 Do what you call "the wet rag thing." Okay? Listen to me.
蓋住鼻子和嘴巴,確實讓對方吸進去 Cover their nose and mouth, make sure they inhale.
我會開著車在這街區繞個幾圈 I'm gonna drive around the block a few times,
- 你完事了就吹口哨 - 我完事了就吹口哨? - and then whistle when you're done. - Whistle when I'm done?
- 沒錯 - 這要花多久時間? - Yeah. - How long does this take?
濕抹布大約要十秒鐘才會見效 The wet rag thing will take about ten seconds.
- 那你為什麼不去做? - 因為要是屋裡的人 - Then why aren't you doing it? - If the person in the house
透過門孔看到我,絕對會大呼小叫 looks out the peephole and sees me, they're gonna freak out a little bit.
你別想太多,反正就... Don't overthink it. Just... Just... Just...
去用這塊濕抹布 Wet rag thing.
不管你看到什麼...看著我 No matter what you see-- Look at me.
不管你看到什麼,用濕抹布就對了 跟我重複說一次 No matter what you see, wet rag thing. Say it to me.
不管我看到什麼,用濕抹布就對了 No matter what I see, wet rag thing.
你準備好了,時間緊迫,來吧 You're ready. Let's do it.
- 這感覺不太好 - 做的時候感覺會很好 - It doesn't feel great. - It feels good when you do it.
- 真是夠了,尼克 - 幫我個忙 - God damn it, Nick. - Do me a favor.
- 別聞那條抹布 - 我幹麼要去聞抹布? - Don't sniff that rag. - Why the fuck would I do that?
我不知道,畢竟沒人知道你會做什麼 I don't know. You do things that no one knows.
這未免也太蠢了 This is so fuckin' stupid.
蠢爆了 So fuckin' stupid.
該死! God damn it!
笨蛋...超級大笨蛋 Dumb... Dumb idiot.
嗨,麥克 Hey, Mike.
這真讓人搞不懂 This is confusing.
氯仿? Chloroform?
麥克,你在搞什麼? What the fuck, Mike?
八、九、十 Eight, nine, ten.
你明明說只要十秒 You said it'd be ten seconds.
過期?搞什麼鬼? "Expired." What the fuck?
該死! Fuck!
麥克,你他媽的在幹麼? What the fuck are you doing, Mike?
這是你出的主意! This was your idea!
搞什麼? The fuck?
你處理好了嗎? You take care of it?
- 尼克? - 怎麼? - Nick? - Yeah?
這是在搞什麼鬼? What the fuck?
我說過,這會很辛苦又怪異 I said it was gonna get heavy and weird.
- 你有雙胞胎兄弟? - 我是獨子 - You got a twin brother? - Only child.
- 那麼屋裡那個傢伙是誰? - 是我 - Who the fuck's that in there? - That's me.
- 是你? - 對 - It's you? - Yes.
- 是尼克? - 是我 - It's Nick? - That's me.
- 那你他媽的是誰? - 我也是尼克 - Who the fuck are you? - I'm also Nick.
我在哪裡? So where am I?
- 什麼? - 另一個我 - What? - The other me.
- 你在裡面 - 好 - You're in there. - Okay.
你剛剛就倒在那裡 You were right there.
這裡到底是怎麼回事?我有叫你用氯仿 What the fuck happened in here? I told you to use the chloroform.
我的確用了氯仿,但是它過期了 I did use the chloroform. It was expired.
氯仿不會過期 Chloroform doesn't expire.
瓶子上的日期分明就過期了 Not according to the date on the fucking bottle.
天啊,這可不在計畫之中 Ah, Jesus Christ, this isn't part of the plan.
我們得把這裡清乾淨 We gotta get this place cleaned up,
索薩三分鐘後就會到 'cause Sosa's gonna be here in three minutes.
- 索薩? - 對 - Sosa? - Yeah.
他見到你鐵定不會高興,走吧 He's not gonna be happy to see you. Let's go.
我真的快瘋了 I'm losing my goddamn mind.
好 All right.
這裡,掛這裡 Right here. Here, here, here.
掛在這邊... Right here--
- 該死 - 好,你得躲起來,快去! - Fuck. - Okay, you gotta hide. Quick!
- 別出聲,動作快! - 好 - Don't make a sound. Go, go, go! - Okay.
- 嗨! - 嗨 - Hey! - Hey.
- 謝謝你在這時侯跟我見面 - 別這麼客氣,請進 - Thanks for meeting me like this. - Yeah, of course. Come on in.
天哪 Damn.
你家裡重新裝潢了? You redecorate?
對,就只是稍微變化一下 Ah, yeah, just, you know, changin' it up a little bit.
- 要喝點什麼嗎? - 我能借用一下廁所嗎? - You want somethin' to drink? - Uh, you mind if I use your bathroom?
- 可以 - 還是你要我就地解決? - Yeah. - Do you want me to piss on the floor?
不了,廁所的話,走廊走到底就有一間 No, not at all. Actually, you know what? There's one right down the hall
- 在右手邊 - 太好了 - to the right. - Fuck.
你們想喝點果汁嗎? You guys like a Capri-Sun?
一切都還好嗎? You find everything all right?
- 很好 - 好 - Oh, yeah. - Okay.
你知道我一直懷疑我們之中有內鬼嗎? You know how I've been suspecting that we got a rat in our midst?
其實,我有個名字了 Well, I got a name.
我跟我們派到警局的人談過了 I talked to our guy in the department.
那個暗中告密的人? The guy with the leg?
- 對,你知道他是誰嗎? - 我當然知道 - Yeah. You know who it is? - Indeed, I do.
我知道他跟那些王八警察說了哪些祕密 I know everything he shared with those pig cocksuckers.
我來處理 I'll handle it.
不用了,我雇用了職業殺手 No need. I hired a contract killer.
誰? Who?
巴倫 The Barron.
他專門為了這件事飛過來 He flew in just for this.
幾小時前才剛降落 Landed a few hours ago.
(巴倫)
但我之所以要親口告訴你,是有原因的 But there's a reason why I'm telling you this in person.
好 Right.
這跟那個內鬼的身分有關 That's because of who the rat is.
他是你熟識的人 It's someone you have a history with.
你們可能已經不像從前那樣稱兄道弟 You guys might not be as close as you used to be,
但這消息想必還是會讓你感到痛心 but that won't stop the news from hitting like a fuckton of bricks.
內鬼是麥克 The rat is Mike.
不會的,一定有人給了你什麼錯誤的資訊 No. I mean, someone gave you some bad information.
這不可能 That's not possible.
不只有可能,根本就是事實 Oh, it's more than possible. It's the truth.
吉米小子正在往續攤派對的路上 Jimmy Boy's on his way to his after-party right now,
巴倫則收到了明確指示 and The Barron's got explicit instructions
務必要在續續續攤派對前搞定這件事 to make sure that this is done by the after-after-after-party.
你知道麥克現在人在哪裡嗎? Do you have any idea where Mike is right now?
他在天頂飯店 He's at the Zenith Hotel.
該死! Fuck!
(馬上離開飯店房間!)
(- 怎麼了?) (- 妳有危險)
該死 Fuck. Fuck.
你可以慢慢消化這件事 You can take a beat to process this.
不過,麥克明天早上就會橫死街頭了 But Mike will be street pizza by morning.
麥克,索薩走了 Sosa's gone, Mike.
快點,把門打開 Come on, unlock the door.
尼克,我不是內鬼 I'm not the rat, Nick.
我知道 Yeah, I know.
你知道? You know?
對,有人陷害你 Yeah. Somebody framed you.
你怎麼知道? How do you know that?
因為這不是我第一次度過今天晚上 Because this isn't the first time I lived through tonight.
什麼? What?
你經歷過多少次今晚? How many times have you lived through tonight?
這是第二次 This is the second.
好,所以你來自未來,對嗎? Okay, so you're from the future, is that it?
- 沒錯 - 尼克,別想耍我 - Exactly. - Don't fuck with me, Nick.
聽著,事情是這樣的 我們第一次度過今晚的時候 Listen, here's the thing. The first time that we went through tonight,
你不幸喪命了 unfortunately, you died.
- 我死了? - 對,但這就是我回來的原因 - I died? - Yeah, but that's why I'm back.
我來嘗試修正一些錯誤 因此今晚的計畫很簡單 I wanna try to right some wrongs here. So the plan tonight is very simple.
我們只要讓你活著就行了 We just gotta keep you alive.
為了做到這一點,我需要你的協助 Now, in order to do that, I'm gonna need your help.
但目前的狀況是,現在外面有一個人 But currently, there is a person out there, right now,
他可能會搞砸整件事,而那個人就是我 that could fuck this whole thing up. And that person is me.
- 你聽起來像個瘋子 - 不是,但我理解 - You sound insane. - No, I understand.
我最終能跟你解釋清楚這一切 Eventually I'll be able to explain everything to you.
但我們現在最重要的事情 就是去找尼克,好嗎? But the important thing right now is that we go locate Nick. Okay?
現在的尼克,我是未來的尼克 Present Nick. Future Nick.
我們走 Let's go.
好,我不確定你是否有辦法解釋這一切 Yeah. I'm not sure that there's a way that you can explain everything.
你不是把車停在那裡嗎? Didn't you park right there?
該死 Oh, shit.
我想是你把車偷走了 I think you stole it.
(續攤派對)
我喝醉了! I'm so fucked up!
(吉米小子)
蠢貨東尼,你這個大白痴! Dumbass Tony, you stupid fuck!
吉米小子,你這個王八蛋! Jimmy Boy, you son of a bitch!
- 你好呀 - 嗨 - Yeah. - Hey.
- 你最近有遇到火爆阿傑嗎? - 該死,你沒聽說嗎? - You seen Jackie Napalm anywhere? - Ah, shit. You haven't heard?
他上個月被幾個加拿大人幹掉了 He got blown away by some Canadians last month.
- 少瞎扯了 - 他們非常心狠手辣 - Shut the fuck up. - They're very violent people.
- 我從沒聽說過 - 是呀 - I've never heard that before. - Yeah.
- 該死!我們的火爆阿傑? - 沒錯 - Damn! Jackie Napalm? - Yeah.
一路好走呀,兄弟 RIP to a real one, man.
- 該死 - 你的老二還好嗎? - Whoa! Damn. - How's your dick?
我的什麼? My what?
你知道俗話說 22到29歲是人生中最美好的時光吧? You know how they say that 22 to 29 are the best years of your life, right?
你可以熬夜狂歡到天亮 You can stay up all night partying till the sun comes up.
但在那段歲月中最棒的一點是 你的老二還能衝鋒陷陣 But the best part about being that age, my dude, your dick still works.
你是說你的不行了? Are you saying yours doesn't?
一開始還是硬得起來 我不想說得太仔細,不過... Well, it starts out hard. I don't wanna get into the details, but--
你到底要說什麼? Is this going somewhere?
我要說的是 被抓也好,坐牢也罷,那都不算慘 The thing is, getting pinched, doing time, my bro, that is not the tragedy.
全都沒關係,重點是他們抓你進去時 That's fine. It's when you got pinched. Yeah.
也奪走了你老二的光榮歲月 They robbed you of your best dick years, my dude.
我現在幹麼要聽這種讓人洩氣的鬼話? Why the fuck would I wanna hear this depressing shit right now?
- 我只是在閒聊 - 那你給我聽好了,蠢貨東尼 - Just making conversation. - Let me tell you somethin', Dumbass Tony.
怎麼了? Yeah?
你就是個該死的大蠢蛋 You're a fucking dumbass.
謝了,兄弟 Thanks, man.
嗨,吉米小子! Hey, Jimmy Boy!
- 索薩來了! - 爸! - Oh, Sosa's here! - Dad!
- 太棒了! - 你來了! - Oh, yeah! - You made it!
老大好 What up, boss?
嗨! Hey!
- 吉米小子 - 爸 - Oh, Jimmy Boy. Jimmy Boy. - Dad.
搞什麼... What the--
索薩先生!對不起,我不是... Mr. Sosa. I-- Excuse me. I wouldn't--
沒事,不要緊 No, no. It's all right.
人生總有意外,對吧? Accidents happen, right?
對 Yeah. Yeah.
朋友,過來這裡 Hey, come here, pal.
嘿 Hey.
吉米小子,還喜歡這些慶祝活動嗎? Jimmy Boy, how you likin' the festivities?
維尼熊喜歡吃蜂蜜嗎? Does Pooh Bear love honey?
- 誰? - 維尼熊 - Who? - Pooh Bear.
他喜歡吃蜂蜜嗎? Does he love honey?
- 維尼熊是什麼鬼? - 卡通人物 - Who the fuck is Pooh Bear? - The cartoon.
你沒看過《跳跳虎歷險記》嗎? You never seen The Tigger Movie?
- 他喜歡吃蜂蜜嗎? - 他超愛吃蜂蜜! - Does he like honey? - He likes honey!
- 好 - 就像我超愛這派對! - Oh, good! - And I love the party!
很好! Good!
聽我說 Listen here.
我們接下來還有兩場續攤 今晚結束的時候還有個驚喜 We got two more parties to go, and a surprise at the end of the night.
陷害你的人會得到應有的報應 Someone who wronged you is gonna get their well-deserved comeuppance.
得到什麼? Their what?
他的...報應? His come-- Comeuppance?
太好了!我愛這... Fuck yeah! Yeah, I love...
我愛報應,爸 I love comeuppance, Dad.
我超喜歡這個, - Mmm-hmm. - One of my favorite things.
對啊,不過我得老實說 Yeah. I gotta be honest.
我不知道報應兩個字怎麼寫 但這聽起來很酷 I don't know what comeuppance is, but it sounds dope.
我不懂卡通,你不懂這兩個字 I don't know cartoons, you don't know big words.
- 誰管它? - 誰管它? - Who cares? - Who cares?
聽著 Listen,
去好好享受接下來的派對 彌補那些失去的光陰 go enjoy the rest of the party. Make up for lost time.
- 好,我這就去 - 好 - All right, I'm on it. - All right.
把那傢伙丟出去 Get that shit outta here.
免得這裡臭氣薰天 Before it stinks up the place.
遵命 Okay.
我知道你現在很忙,但可以請你一邊忙 I know you're kinda busy right now, but can you chew gum
一邊解釋你他媽的怎麼從未來回來的? and explain how the fuck you're from the future at the same time?
你這語氣,顯然沒在聽我說話 That's a tone that tells me you're not listening.
- 我在聽 - 好 - I'm listening. - Okay.
從現在開始的六個月後,我踏進了時光機 So six months from now, I step into a time machine.
- 就像《超時空奇俠》那樣,你懂嗎? - 我頭好痛 - Like Doctor Who. You know, the TARDIS? - There's my headache.
你無從想像,就像是在玩你畫我猜 You have no reference. It's like playing Pictionary with someone
但對方從來沒玩過那樣 你就先專心聽我說, that doesn't have a lot of experience. So just try to focus
盡可能去理解就好 and see if you can get this, okay.
我踏進了一臺時光機 I stepped into a time machine,
接著我踏出了那臺機器,來到今天下午 and then when I stepped out of the machine, it's this afternoon.
- 時光機? - 對 - A time machine? - Yeah.
- 你認識西蒙嗎? - 西蒙? - You know Symon? - Symon?
- 西方的西? - 那個愛亂發明的宅男? - Symon with a "Y"? - The nerdy, inventor guy?
我不喜歡貼標籤 但你知道我在講誰,喜歡發明的那個 I don't like labels, but you know what I mean. Likes to invent and do it.
- 該死 - 對 - Oh, shit. - Yeah.
媽的! - Oh, fuck! - Mmm-hmm...
- 請用 - 西蒙! - Here you go. - Symon!
嗨! Hey!
- 抱歉,我遲到了 - 幹麼抱歉?又沒怎樣 - Oh, I'm so sorry I'm late. - Are you kidding me? Who cares?
- 好,走吧? - 好 - Okay. Shall we? - Yeah.
- 好 - 乾杯 - Okay. - Cheers.
我聽說有人跑去法院登記結婚了 I heard that someone ran off to the courthouse and got married.
妳結婚了? Did you get married?
真的假的? What?
天啊! Holy shit!
那些關於他的傳聞是真的嗎? Is it true what they say about him?
什麼傳聞? About what?
妳老公他...他好像是個... Your husband, that he's... that he's like a...
幫派分子 Oh, that he's a gangster.
- 他是幫派分子嗎? - 是,誰知道呢?我媽又不知道 - Is he a gangster? - Yeah. Who knew? Not my mom.
很瘋狂吧 Yeah, crazy.
- 他會借錢給別人 - 好 - He loans money to people. - Okay.
要是對方沒連本帶利還回來 And if those people don't pay him with interest,
- 他的腿就會被打斷 - 有這種事? - then an enforcer breaks their legs. - That happens?
有,如果腿斷了還不還錢,那就... Yeah. And if they still don't pay, well...
不過,其實我剛認識尼克的時候 他是個很有趣的人 But, you know, when I met Nick, he was so funny.
他那時說他在做清潔工作,我心想 I mean, he said he worked in sanitation, and I was like,
「糟了,這傢伙是垃圾車司機」 "Damn, that guy is driving garbage trucks."
是啊,後來我才了解他是負責殺人滅口 Yeah, but then I realized that he was just, you know, killing people.
不過,我發現他只是一個... But, you know, I figured he was just this, like,
很愛我的人 guy that loved me.
對,他很有趣,生活充滿刺激,而且... Yeah. He was fun and exciting, and...
我想我們都可以對自己的伴侶 睜一隻眼閉一隻眼,對吧? I mean, we can all forgive one thing about our partners, right?
對啊,當然可以,畢竟妳之前還曾經 Of course. Yeah. I mean, you once dated a guy
- 交往過迷上近身魔術的人,對吧? - 沒錯 - who was into close-up magic, right? - Exactly.
- 但說回到尼克 - 就是我 - But going back to Nick. - Dated me.
然而我們結婚之後 You see, after we got married,
我才了解到我閉上眼不管他的事情 I realized that the one thing I was forgiving with him
其實包含了很多不堪的...事情 was actually a lot of fucking... things.
他一直背著我偷吃 He was cheating on me all the time.
他沒有背著你偷吃 He was not fuckin' cheating on you.
像是... Like...
- 我們幹麼笑? - 就... - Why are we laughing? - It's...
- 一直都是 - 我們好像不應該笑 - All the time. - This doesn't seem like we should laugh.
這真的很好笑,對吧? It's really funny, right?
- 對啊 - 對 - Yeah. - Yeah.
總之... Anyway, um...
我真的很想離開他 I'd really like to leave him.
我很想離開他,但如果你知道 I would love to leave him, but if you know, like, a...
有個能離開超危險的人 又能確保自身安全的方法 like, a non-dangerous way to leave a super-dangerous guy, I...
- 我會感激不盡 - 好的 - I'd really appreciate it. - Yeah.
我現在腦中還沒有具體想法 I don't... I don't... I don't know one right off the top of my head,
但這樣的人生故事,天哪,真是太精采了 but goddamn, that story was-- Oh, my God, I loved that story.
我很感謝妳跟我講這些,但其實我... I appreciate the info dump, but I was actually...
其實我是出於自私的理由才開口問妳的 I was actually asking that question for selfish reasons.
- 你想要借錢 - 我想要借錢 沒錯, - You want a loan. - I want a loan. Exactly.
因為我目前在進行一項計畫 Because I'm currently on a project right now,
我在找金主,而且這項計畫 I'm lookin' for financing, and it's something
不是傳統的投資者能夠理解的事情 that traditional investors can't fuckin' wrap their heads around.
大家都拒絕了,他們都無法理解 Everybody's saying no. They don't understand.
- 是 - 我需要找到別的方法 - Right. - So, I need to find alternative methods
來取得我需要的資金 to get the funds I need.
不過,我認為要是從他那裡拿到錢 你的下場可能會很慘 You see, I think getting money from him could end very poorly for you.
我認為這計畫萬無一失 I can't think of one way this could go wrong.
- 好 - 我們會長生不老 - Right. - We're gonna live forever.
所以那個西方的西蒙 愛麗絲的發明家朋友 So Symon with a "Y," Alice's fucking inventor friend,
用我們借給他的錢打造了一臺時光機? built a time machine with the money we loaned him?
對,而且你知道他最近一直避不見面 Yeah, and you know how he's been dodgin' us lately
- 不還錢? - 對 - over payments? - Yeah.
在接下來的六個月裡都如此 That doesn't change over the next six months,
到最後,我得一路追蹤他 來到他的車庫兼實驗室 and eventually, I have to track him down to his garage-slash-laboratory
看看他是否肯把錢吐出來 to see if he'll cough up the money.
但當我到了那裡,他不在家 But when I get there, he isn't home.
我就是在那時候看見 他用我們的錢打造出了什麼 And that's when I see what he did with our money.
(您想去另一趟時空旅行嗎?)
(如果想去,會是哪個時間呢?)
我當時心中一直掛念著一個日子 There's one day I've thought about a lot.
就是今天 That's today.
我會死的那天, 或者說死掉的那天 The day I die. Or died.
沒錯 Yeah.
這像是電玩遊戲 Like a video game.
(祝您旅途愉快)
結果成功了 - And it worked. - Uh-huh...
那臺時光機在哪裡? Where is this time machine?
那不重要,因為我們用不了 Ah, that doesn't matter, because we can't really use it.
什麼意思?為何用不了? What do you mean? Why not?
- 我好像不小心炸毀了 - 什麼? - I might have accidentally blown it up. - What?
我不是故意的,有些事情就是會發生 It wasn't fuckin' intentional. It just was one of these things that happened.
為什麼不叫西蒙修好它? 或是再打造一個?他辦不到嗎? Why can't Symon fix it? Or build another one? Can't he?
這個嘛... Well...
尼克,你該不會 Nick, you didn't.
在時光機的門打開的時候 Well, when the doors of the time machine opened,
到處都充斥著煙霧和強光 there was all this smoke and bright light.
我看到有人拿槍指著我 And I see someone pointing a gun at me.
我們各自開了幾槍 And we both take a shot or two
有顆子彈打中了某個鋼瓶,然後... and one of the bullets hit some sort of a tank, and, you know...
他媽的,尼克! God damn it, Nick!
對,然後我... Well, yeah, and then I--
全是一瞬間發生的事 It just kind of, you know, it was a moment,
然後我一不小心,真的是場意外 我開槍打中了他 and then accidentally, it was an accident, but then I shot him.
你一不小心就意外打中他? You accidentally accidentally shot him?
我開槍打中他,我不是故意的 I shot him, and it wasn't on purpose.
真是糟糕透頂 Well, this fuckin' sucks ass.
真該死! God damn it!
上車吧,有好消息,聽到這引擎聲了嗎? Get in the car. We got good news. You hear the purring?
好,我們沒有時光機,西蒙也死了 Okay. We do not have the time machine, and Symon is dead.
所以我們只有一次機會把事情做好 無法重來,了解嗎? So, we get one chance to do this right. There's no do-overs. Okay?
- 真棒 - 說到這裡 - Great. - So, with that being said
我們不妨趁這空檔來腦力激盪一下 and being relaxed, let's just brainstorm in a great way.
我們要怎麼找到我? How do we find me?
- 什麼?你沒有計畫嗎? - 我原本有計畫 - What? You didn't plan for this? - I had a plan for this.
我的計畫是把我弄昏,然後塞進後車廂 My plan was to knock me out and put me in the trunk.
你的車不是有裝什麼衛星定位追蹤器 Well, doesn't your car have, like, a GPS tracker or something,
以防有人把車偷走嗎? in case it gets stolen?
很好,手機給我看一下 That's good. Let me see your phone.
你為什麼要看我的手機? Why do you wanna see my phone?
我不知道不同時空的手機能不能同時存在 Well, I don't know if two phones can exist in the same times--
我不知道這要怎麼弄,我的手機用不了 (等我傳訊給你,你再回我) I don't know how this works, my phone gives me nothin'.
好,算了,就拿去吧 Yeah. Okay. Okay. Take it. Whatever.
我要通報,有人偷了我的車 I'd like to report my car stolen.
對,他出現在我家 Yeah, he shows up at my house,
然後我和他打了起來 and then me and him end up getting into it.
他拿我的保齡球獎盃,往我的下巴用力砸 He takes my bowling trophy, he smashes it across my jaw.
那傢伙簡直是個瘋子 The guy's completely lost his mind.
就像整個人精神崩潰了 It's like he's on tilt or something.
巴倫以為他還在天頂飯店 The Barron thinks he's at the Zenith Hotel.
我得打給他,你現在人在哪裡? I need to give him a call. Where the fuck you at?
我在加油站剛加完油 等等就會去續攤派對了 I'm just at the gas station finishin' up, then I'll head to the after-party.
- 快給我過來 - 好,派對上見 - Get your ass over here. - All right, I'll see you there.
我在那裡 There I am.
- 嗨,你好嗎? - 還好 - Hi, how are you? - Good.
很好,我想來點無糖糖果 Good. I was gonna try some sugar-free candy.
糖果?糖果就是有糖 Candy? Candy is sugar.
你有聽過素食熱狗嗎? Well, you've heard of, like, a vegetarian hotdog?
- 有 - 那種熱狗沒有肉 - Yeah. - There's no meat.
只是看起來像熱狗 It's just the looks.
- 對 - 但那味道... - Right. - But it tastes...
- 就像那樣,只是換成糖果 - 我們這邊有含糖的餅乾 - So like that, but for candy. - I have cookies that have sugar in them,
你可以拿四包,買二送二 and you can get four of them for the price of two of them.
我對餅乾買幾送幾沒興趣 No, I'm not interested in getting upsold on cookies.
- 我只對糖果有興趣 - 好的 - I'm interested in the candy. - Right.
懂嗎?但是要無糖的 Right? But it doesn't have sugar.
我想我大知道你在說什麼了 I'm picking up what you're putting down, I think.
你在找某種不存在的糖果 You're looking for a candy bar that doesn't exist.
好,我不知道還能怎麼跟你說 Okay, I... I don't know how else to say it to you, bro,
但無糖的糖果確實存在 but the sugar-free candy exists.
這位老哥 Well... Bro...
可以請你看一下嗎? Oh, would you look at that?
看來我們這邊都賣完了 Mmm, looks like we're all out of stock
沒有那種瞎編出來的糖果,這位白痴先生 of fairy-tale fuckin' made-up candy bars, you fucking moron.
請問還有什麼需要幫忙的嗎? Can I help you with anything we have?
說真的,我今晚已經糟糕透頂了 You know, I've had a very bad night tonight.
我真討厭我自己 I fucking hate myself.
好,這看來有點反應過度了 Okay, this feels like a bit of an overreaction.
我們得速戰速決 We gotta do this thing quick.
我通報之後,警方就會收到消息 When I called it in, they would've notified the cops.
也就是我們大概有 20到30分鐘的時間可以利用 That means we got about 20 or 30 minutes for response time,
- 然後也許... - 尼克 - and then maybe-- - Nick.
怎麼? Yeah.
開什麼玩笑? Are you kidding me?
好,他們進來的時候,你什麼都別說 All right. When they come in here, you don't say shit.
- 懂嗎? - 懂 - You understand? - Yeah.
天啊,我沒想到他們這麼快就... Oh, Jesus, I mean, I didn't expect them to respond instantly.
這也不是你第一次沒想到了 This wasn't one of your brighter ideas.
保持冷靜 Just be cool.
我們在找開那輛奧迪車的人 Hey, we're looking for the guy who has the Audi.
- 尼克? - 嗨,小莎,最近好嗎? - Nick? - Hey. What's up, Sam?
你通報說你的車被偷了 You reported your car stolen.
- 我沒有 - 好吧 - Uh-uh. No. - Okay.
我們接到通報電話 Well, we got the call.
- 那還真讓人困惑,我不知道 - 對啊 - Ah, that's confusing. I don't know. - Yeah.
- 說到好狗運 - 怎麼了? - Talk about fuckin' luck. - What?
那位是莎曼珊謝爾,我們沒事了 That's Samantha Scheer. We're fine.
誰?那個警察嗎?你認識她? Who, the cop? You know her?
對,就像是克莉絲汀跟紅人合唱的那首歌 Yeah, it's Christina Aguilera featuring Redman.
是個「下流」警察 - Huh? - Dirty.
那首歌很讚 That's a good tune.
想必是惡作劇 Must have been a prank.
對,一定是... Yeah, must've... must've been...
- 好,很高興見到你 - 謝了,我也是 - Okay. Nice seeing you. - All right. Yeah, you too.
這傢伙有槍,他剛剛還指著我 Uh, this guy here has a gun. He pulled it on me.
他拿槍指著我 Pulled a gun on me.
你說什麼? - What did you say? - Um...
這傢伙剛剛拿槍指著我 This guy pulled a gun on me.
尼克是地方上有頭有臉的人士 Nick is a pillar of the community.
他不會做這種事 He would do no such thing.
這個有頭有臉的先生 剛剛的確拿槍指著我 Well, Pillar Boy over here definitely pulled a gun on me,
- 我還有影片為證,所以... - 不,你沒有 - and I have it on video, so... - No, you don't.
- 我有 - 聽著 - Yeah, I do. - Hey!
沒有影片證據的人 才不會有一輩子的麻煩 People who don't have things on video don't have lifelong problems.
沒錯 - Oh... - Yeah.
好的 Okay.
那如果我刪除 What if I just, uh, delete
今晚全部的監視錄像呢? all of the footage from this evening?
不錯,我覺得這是個好主意 Now, I think that's a great idea.
- 這主意很棒 - 很好,這位市民 - It's a great idea. - Good idea, citizen.
尼克,很高興見到你 Great seeing you, Nick.
小莎,見到妳真好 幫我跟妳的好老公打聲招呼 Hey, great to see you, Sam. Say hi to your lucky hubby of yours.
前老公 Oh. Ex-hubby.
所以,跟我打個招呼就可以 So, maybe you just say hi to me.
這感覺不像是「什麼都別說」,對吧? That doesn't feel like "don't say shit," does it? Hmm?
看來我不能再邊嚼大麻邊喝酒了 Whoa, I gotta stop drinking while I am on edibles, man.
你說什麼? What?
老哥,你在你的後面 You're behind you, dude.
他昏了嗎? Is he out?
- 昏了 - 謝謝 - Yeah. - Thanks.
這個長得跟你一模一樣的人 That guy that looks just like you?
真是個大混蛋 Huge dick.
去你的 Fuck you.
- 給我滾開! - 搞什麼鬼? - Get away from me! - What the fuck?
他去哪了? Where'd he go?
- 我看不清楚,你呢? - 沒看到 - I can't see great. You? - No, no.
我去第四排,你去第二排 I'm gonna take four. You take two.
好,他在第三排,我看到他了 Okay, he's on aisle three. I saw him.
好,我們前後包夾 Okay, we'll head him off.
你他媽到底是誰? Who the fuck are you?
麥克,你在搞什麼? What the fuck, Mike?
王八蛋 Son of a bitch.
我不知道你們三個人在搞什麼 I don't know what the fuck you three are up to,
但剛剛有人肘擊我的眼睛,這很差勁 but someone elbowed me in the eye and that is not cool.
對,我很抱歉,讓你親眼經歷這一切 Yeah. My apologies that you had to witness all this.
這跟我們預期的狀況差了十萬八千里 This went a lot further than we expected.
這就是我要離開的原因 This is why I'm quitting.
我不是指殺人這件事 I'm not talking about the killing.
這所有的事情,我都再也受不了了 Talking about all of it. I can't do this anymore.
我理解,把他綁起來,塞進後車廂 All right, I understand. Let's just get him tied up and get him in the trunk.
好,索薩聘請來殺我的殺手是誰? Okay, so who's this contract killer Sosa hired to kill me?
你聽過巴倫嗎? Have you ever heard of The Barron?
好,也許沒聽過反而是好事 Yeah. Maybe that's a good thing.
為什麼?會有多可怕? Why? How bad could it be?
他是特級殺手,而且... I mean, he's a A-plus killer and...
他會把目標對象吃掉 he eats his targets.
- 他什麼? - 他是食人殺手 - He what? - Cannibal assassin.
- 這太扯了 - 我向上天發誓 - Shut the fuck up. - Swear to God.
- 給我閉嘴 - 吃人是他的招牌手法 - Shut the fuck up. - That's his signature move.
- 別再瞎扯了 - 他有雙重特質 - Shut the fuck up. - He's both things.
既是殺手,也是食人魔 He's an assassin and he's a cannibal.
而且他十分重視這兩個特質 And he takes both of them very seriously.
我不想變成食物 I don't wanna be eaten, Nick.
我理解,我也同意,這場面真的不好處理 No, I understand. I agree. It's not an ideal situation.
因此,請幫我個忙 Okay, so, do me a favor.
我要你傳簡訊給愛麗絲 I want you to text Alice
叫她去停車場跟我們碰面 and tell her to meet us in the parking garage
市中心的麥克林托克大道556號 at 556 McClintock Boulevard, Downtown.
等一下,為什麼要找愛麗絲? Wait a minute. Why Alice? Why?
因為索薩遲早會發現 Because at some point, Sosa's gonna figure out
我在跟你合作 that I'm working with you
而我想確保愛麗絲的安全 and I wanna make sure Alice is safe.
了解,但是... Okay. But what...
我不知道我有沒... 幹麼要我傳? I don't know if I have-- Why are you asking me this?
你不知道號碼嗎? Don't you know her number?
我沒有記在腦子裡 I don't have it memorized.
你確定你沒有她的號碼嗎? Are you positive you don't have her number?
你問我確不確定? Am I positive I don't have her number?
我是說,你確定有人可以確定任何事嗎? I mean, are you positive about-- Is anybody positive about anything?
不確定 Not sure.
我看看,有很多A開頭的名字 But I'll look. There's a lot of As in here.
亞力山卓... "Alexandria."
我找到了,名稱是「尼克老婆」 I do have it. It's under "Nick's wife."
你傳簡訊,我開車 You text, I drive.
所以有個噩夢般的駭人殺手盯上了麥克 So a nightmare fuel assassin has Mike in his sights,
而你想幫助他活過今晚 and you're trying to help him survive the night.
整體來說就是這樣嗎? Is that the macro here?
大致上吧 Mostly.
但還有一個關鍵轉折 用看的會比用講的更清楚 But with one important wrinkle and... show's gonna be easier than tell.
真神祕 Oh. Mysterious.
聽我說,妳看了會嚇一大跳 Just a heads up, you're gonna freak out a little,
而且會有些問題想問 and then you're gonna have some questions.
我的天啊 - Holy shit. - Mmm-hmm...
這裡有兩個尼克? So there's two Nicks?
妳有問題想問嗎?我還以為妳會想問問題 Do you have some questions? I imagine you have some.
我就有很多問題 I had a lot of questions.
我的確有個問題 Well, I do have a question.
請問哪一個是來自未來的尼克? Which Nick's from the future?
- 什麼?妳怎麼知道? - 你是從過去來的嗎? - What? How did you know that? - Oh, are you from the past?
我來自六個月後的未來 I'm from the future, six months from now.
妳怎麼會... How did you...
西蒙是我的朋友,記得嗎? Well, Symon's my friend, remember?
他有跟我說他為什麼要跟你們借錢 I mean, he told me why he wanted money from you guys,
但我當時以為他只是異想天開 沒想到...太誇張了! but I thought he was a fucking kook, but... God damn!
西蒙真的想出了時空旅行的方法? Symon figured how to fucking time travel?
我本來還很期待看到妳嚇壞了 I was kind of excited for you to freak out.
- 真令人失望 - 好吧 - This has been a letdown. - All right.
- 我來叫醒他 - 等一下 - Let me wake him up here. - Wait.
來,快醒醒 Come on. There you go.
嗨 Hi.
這是怎麼回事? What's happening?
我就是你 I'm you.
而你要跟我們走 And you're coming with us.
- 西方的西蒙打造出一臺時光機? - 沒錯 - Symon with a "Y" built a time machine? - Yep.
- 而且可以用? - 對 - And it works? - Yeah.
顯而易見 Obviously.
我還以為你是複製人 I thought you were a clone.
傻瓜,複製人都是假的 Well, clones aren't real, dummy.
是啊,時光機卻是真實到不得不相信 Right. And time machines are super grounded in reality.
你知道麥克和愛麗絲搞上了吧? You know, uh, Mike and Alice are fucking, right?
- 我知道 - 你知道? - Yeah, I know. - You know?
我來自未來 I'm from the future.
我明白他們兩個會很震驚 但你應該能理解 I get this is shocking to those two, but you should at least realize
我知道你知道的一切,對吧? I know everything you know, right?
對,沒錯,我懂了 Yeah, totally. Yeah, I get it.
你什麼時候發現的? When did you find out?
吉米小子派對的前一天 The day before Jimmy Boy's party.
也就是昨天? So yesterday?
所以現在的你顯然火冒三丈,對吧? And present you is clearly unbelievably pissed about it, correct?
不,完全沒有 No, not at all.
有人背叛我簡直讓我心裡開心到不行 I mean, personal betrayal just fills me with immense joy.
索薩認為我是內鬼,因此我命懸一線 Okay, my life is on the line 'cause Sosa thinks I'm the rat,
- 而我現在知道是誰陷害我了 - 對 and I'm just now figuring out - who framed me. - Right.
- 是他們 - 沒錯 - They did. - Yeah.
其實,嚴格來說只有他 Well, technically it was him.
- 我是來收拾局面的 - 真是太棒了 - I'm here to fix it. - Wow, terrific.
我們完了 We are fucked.
我們都犯過錯 We've all made mistakes.
請把過去那些都拋在腦後 Let's try and put that behind us.
現在我們要專心確保麥克和愛麗絲的安危 Right now, we need to focus on keeping Mike and Alice alive.
好 Right.
所以我們四個要一起去避風頭了,對吧? So the four of us are gonna lie low together now, right?
我們現在要去哪裡? Yeah, where are we headed?
一個沒人知道的地方 Some place no one knows about.
我們的公寓 Our apartment.
我們的公寓? Our apartment?
尼克們的公寓 Well... the Nicks.
- 我和他 - 不好意思 - Me and him. - I'm sorry.
你有連我都不知道的公寓? You have an apartment that I don't know about?
沒錯,我有時候需要一點個人空間 Yeah. Sometimes I just need a little space.
好了,我們不必 為擁有這間公寓的原因說謊 Okay. Let's not lie about why we have the apartment.
陳年舊事不必再提 We don't need to open that can of worms.
好了,各位,我們就專業一點吧 All right. Everybody, let's just try and keep this professional.
不好意思 I'm sorry.
請問這是金屋藏嬌嗎? Is this... Is this a love shack?
沒錯,這是金屋藏嬌 Oh, this is a love shack. Right.
看來你們也都藏著許多小祕密嘛 And you've got all of your own little secrets
你們竟然還敢陷害麥克,讓他喪命? and you still framed Mike to get killed?
還是個該死的食人殺手 By a fucking cannibal.
他當時並不想背著你偷偷摸摸 是我要他別告訴你 He didn't wanna sneak behind your back. I told him not to tell you
因為你一衝動起來就沒人性 because you are fucking impulsive
如今你果然證明我是對的 and here you are, proving me right.
沒想過到最後會有人吃掉我 Yeah, but I never thought someone would end up eating me.
好,我說句公道話 我們都不知道索薩會去聘請巴倫 Okay. To be fair, neither of us knew Sosa was gonna hire The Barron.
我們本來以為會是更乾淨俐落 We were expecting a snappier death.
一槍斃命的那種死法 One shot to the head type of deal.
這話讓我心情好多了 I guess that does make me feel better.
看吧?麥克,我欣賞你的態度 See? That's a great attitude, Mike.
我們都試著保持這種態度,好嗎?很好 Let's all try to build on that, okay? Great.
- 王八蛋 - 好了,請坐 - Motherfucker. - All right, take a seat.
別亂來,不然我就得設法壓制你 And don't try anything or I'll have to tackle you.
我不能開槍射你,不然我就死定了 I certainly can't shoot you because then I'll be dead.
快走 Go, go.
你為什麼會死? Why would you be dead?
如果現在的尼克死了 未來的尼克就不會存在 Well, if Present Nick dies, Future Nick no longer exists.
對,有道理 Yeah, makes sense.
我不認為是這個樣子 I don't think that's how it works.
我可不想冒險去確認我們之間誰對誰錯 Well, I'm not gonna take a risk to find out which one of us is correct.
去問西蒙就知道了 Let's just ask Symon.
你沒對他怎樣吧 You... You didn't.
西蒙他... Symon's...
死了? dead?
我不是故意的 Well, it wasn't on purpose.
西蒙死了 Symon's dead.
給她一點時間,她需要好好消化這件事 Okay, give her a little minute. She'll need some time to process this.
我太太對這件事的反應不用你來告訴我 You don't have to tell me how my wife reacts to stuff.
- 我只是說她很難受 I'm just saying she's a little upset.
- 我知道她現在很激動 - She's gonna-- - No I understand she gets very emotional.
- 我並沒有自以為了不起 Because I'm not saying it in an arrogant way.
- 我聽起來是這樣 - I took it arrogant. - Ow!
天啊! God!
妳瘋了嗎?西蒙不是我殺的 What are you, fucking crazy? I didn't kill Symon.
這是科學實驗, It's a science experiment.
況且你也是罪有應得 By the way, it's not like you don't deserve it.
如果未來的尼克有傷疤 那麼你的理論就是對的 If Future Nick has a scar, your theory is right.
如果沒有,那就是我對了 And if he doesn't, then I'm right.
愛麗絲,這不是什麼科學實驗 This isn't a science experiment, Alice.
- 這是我的腿 - 少來了 你總有繃帶、 - It's my leg. - Oh, please. You have bandages,
強力膠和膠帶吧?沒事的 super glue. Duct tape? You'll be fine.
去把自己整理乾淨 Go clean yourself up like a big boy.
難不成妳要我綁著雙手去幫自己包紮嗎? I'm supposed to go play doctor with ropes around my wrist?
反正這也不是你第一次在這裡脫下褲子 Oh, please. It's not the first time you've taken down your pants in this place
- 雙手還被綁著,對吧? - 我真受不了跟妳在一起 - with your hands tied, is it? - Look, I can't stand being around you.
他可以自己去浴室 He can go to the bathroom on his own.
他又不會想從17樓的窗戶跳下去 It's not like he'll jump out of the window on the 17th floor.
他哪裡都不會去 Yeah, he won't go anywhere.
- 去 - 我巴不得現在就離開妳 - Go. - I can't wait to get away from you.
樂意之至 With pleasure.
我喜歡這裡的裝飾擺設 I love the decoration in this place.
真不敢相信我的朋友死了 I can't believe my friend is dead.
我想我需要一點時間 I think I need a minute.
這間炮房的的酒放在哪裡? Where's the liquor in your fuck-den?
講成炮房可能有點過頭了 Fuck-den might be a little strong for the place,
酒吧是在那裡 but the bar is right over there.
謝謝你 Thank you.
搞什...好吧 What-- All right.
好 Okay.
對,腿上有疤,我說對了 Yep. There's a scar, I was right.
恭喜囉 Congrats.
- 你真的愛上了這位愛刺人的小姐? - 沒錯 - Are you really in love with Stabby Lady? - Yeah.
我真心愛她 而且你對她早就沒感情了,所以... Yes, I reallyam. And you haven't been in love with her for a really long time. So...
- 什麼? - 是啊 - What? - Yeah.
- 你從哪裡聽來的? - 聽來的?是你告訴我的 - Where'd you get that from? - What? You told me.
你說:「愛麗絲和我結束了」 我說:「你確定?」 You said, "Alice and I are done." I said, "Are you sure?"
你說:「我這輩子從沒這麼確定過」 And you said, "I've never been more sure of anything in my life."
我說:「真的嗎?」 I said, "Really? For real?"
你說:「你耳朵有問題嗎?」 And you said, "Do you have a hearing problem, fuckhead?"
我說:「我只是想確認一下」 I said, "Hey! I'm just making sure."
你說:「我再清楚不過了 And you said, "I cannot possibly be more clear here.
我對愛麗絲已經沒有任何感情 "I have zero romantic feelings for Alice.
我不在乎她去做什麼、跟誰上床 "I don't care what she does, who she fucks.
我一點都不在乎,我們結束了」 "I don't care about any of it. We're done."
經你這麼一提,我想起其中一部分了 Now that you're saying it out loud, I remember parts of that.
那些話都是你說的,我全都信了 Okay, those were your words verbatim. And I took it literally.
你現在說了,我就懂了,我記得... No, I uh... Now that you're saying it, I understand. I remember...
那是我們吵架之後說的, 但說真的 I think it was after a fight or something, but my God,
- 你的記憶力未免太好 - 是呀 - you have a hell of a memory. - Yeah.
尼克? Nick?
搞什麼? What the fuck?
你有... You... have...
一隻貓 ...a cat.
那是金霸王 That's Kingpin.
金霸王貓 Kingpin the Cat.
你養了一隻叫做金霸王的貓 我竟然不知道 Oh, you have a cat named Kingpin that I don't know about.
我還以為我總算抓到你騙我了 Just when I thought I'd grasped the level of your deceit.
但是妳對貓過敏 But you're allergic.
我只是有點過敏,可以討論一下的 Yeah, I'm a little allergic. Could've been a conversation.
想必會是很愉快的討論 Yeah, I'm sure that would have went well.
對了,前幾天金霸王走進浴室 By the way, the other day, Kingpin walked into the bathroom,
然後牠爬進浴缸 then he crawled into the bathtub,
蹲坐在排水孔的正上方 squatted directly over the drain,
接著往裡面尿下去 and he peed right into it.
- 太厲害了 - 我知道! - Wow. That's incredible. - I know!
簡直就像是個配管工程師 It's like he's an engineer or something.
那是牠膀胱感染了 He has a bladder infection.
- 是嗎? - 是 - He does? - Yes.
可能不是現在,而是未來的金霸王 Not this Kingpin, but future Kingpin, probably.
因此貓貓才會在浴缸裡尿尿 That's why they pee in tubs.
沒想過要查查看這種行為的含意嗎? You didn't think of looking it up to know what it meant?
- 沒有,我只是覺得很酷 - 是啊 - Nah, I just thought it was cool. - Yeah.
你真是個不盡責的貓爸爸 Yeah. You're a bad cat dad, dude.
我不是不盡責的貓爸爸 Not a bad cat dad.
爛獸醫?也許是吧 但我是個很棒的貓爸爸,對吧? Bad cat vet? Maybe. But great cat daddy. Right?
先別聊毛小孩了,現在剛過午夜 Pet drama aside, it's a little after midnight.
- 好 - 了解 - Right. - All right.
續續攤派對時間到了 Time for the after-after-party.
(續續攤派對)
♪ He wakes up in the morning ♪
♪ Does his teeth Bite to eat and he's rolling ♪
♪ Never changes a thing ♪
妳知道誰最愛大腿舞了? You know who loved lap dances?
- 火爆阿傑 - 火爆阿傑 - Jackie Napalm. - Jackie Napalm.
真該死,他是個真漢子 God damn it, he was a real one, man.
算了,別再提了 Enough about that though.
吉米小子,怎麼了嗎? Something the matter, Jimmy Boy?
什麼? What?
沒事,一切都... No, everything's...
真他媽的超棒的 fucking right the fuck on.
真的嗎?因為吉米小子的小吉米 好像在睡覺 Really? 'Cause it seems like Jimmy Boy's Jimmy's taking a nap.
天啊,我要去殺了那個蠢貨東尼 Man, I'm gonna fuckin' kill Dumbass Tony.
尼克,你在哪裡? Nick, where the fuck are you?
這裡好多妹仔 It's raining titties over here.
我找到麥克了 牢牢綁起來,當成禮物送給巴倫 I found Mike. He's tied up and ready. He's gift-wrapped for The Barron.
總有人不相信奇蹟會發生 And they say miracles never happen.
我再把時間和地點傳給你 I'll text you the time and place.
抓到你了 Gotcha.
棒呆了 Superb.
我有個計畫能讓麥克活下來 I have a plan to keep Mike alive.
但我們讓計畫成功的唯一方法 But the only chance we have for this plan to work
就是我們四個人要齊心協力 is for all four of us to be on board.
因此... So...
我認為我們四個必須先把話攤開來講 I think it's important that the four of us clear the air first.
愛麗絲 Alice.
妳什麼時候知道我們之間結束了? When did you know it was over between us?
我覺得好像沒有一個明確的時間點 Well, there wasn't, like, a specific moment, I guess.
不對,我覺得有 No, I think there was.
我認為有個十分明確的轉折點,無庸置疑 I think there was a very specific turning point. It was distinct.
- 真的嗎?什麼時候? - 幾個月前 - Really? When? - A few months ago.
記得我去加拿大那次嗎? When I took that trip to Canada?
跟火爆阿傑一起去 With Jackie Napalm?
我們在吵傑斯的事 The Jess argument.
- 傑斯? - 我們不認識什麼叫傑斯的 - Jess? - We don't know anyone named Jess.
羅莉和傑斯 Rory and Jess.
你那時候說傑斯是劇裡最糟的男朋友 You said that Jess was the worst boyfriend in the show.
- 傑斯爛透了 - 你有看《吉爾莫女孩》? - Jess sucks. - You watch Gilmore Girls?
我跟著她看的 Well, I mean, I watch it when she's watching.
我是說,播出的時候我就會看 I mean, I watch it when it's on.
- 我們很愛看 - 你為什麼討厭傑斯? - We love it. - Why do you hate Jess?
我覺得他還好,但他不算... I mean, I think he's okay, but he's not--
等一下,你有看《吉爾莫女孩》? Wait, you-- You watch Gilmore Girls?
有 兩週前,妳說那是妳最喜歡的影集 Yeah. Yeah. You said... You said it was your favorite show two weeks ago,
因此我想說我該看一下 so I thought I'd watch it. So I watched it.
然後我就...全看完了 So I watched, uh... all of it.
那一部大概有170集 I mean, that's like 170 episodes.
157集 157 episodes.
我不認為你有時間看得完 I think that's mathematically impossible.
不對,看得完,我看完了 No. No, it's not. No, I did it.
傑斯人不錯,他其實滿可愛的 Yeah, Jess is fine. I mean, he's a cute guy,
他只是不適合羅莉 but, you know, he's wrong for Rory.
- 完全不適合 - 他絕對不算是最糟的男友 - Totally wrong.- And I never said he was the worst boyfriend.
最糟糕的明明是迪恩 The worst boyfriend is obviously Dean.
- 迪恩? - 對啊 - Dean? - Yeah.
洛根才是最糟糕的男朋友 Logan is the worst boyfriend.
- 洛根是劇裡最棒的男友 - 洛根? - Logan's the best boyfriend on the show. - Logan?
麥克,你講什麼鬼話? What the fuck, Mike?
- 你瘋了嗎? - 這有爭議嗎? - Are you nuts? - Is that controversial?
羅莉跟他在一起的時候超慘的 他嚴重影響了她 Rory is the worst when she's with him. I mean, he's a terrible influence on her.
他們很速配,有很多共通點 而且他們都很嬌生慣養 They're good for each other. A lot in common. They're both spoiled.
- 羅莉沒有嬌生慣養 - 謝謝 - Rory's not spoiled. - Thank you.
她的祖父母付錢讓她念貴族學校 Her grandparents paid for Chilton.
好,理查吉爾莫超級努力在賺錢 Okay. Richard Gilmore worked super hard for his money,
而他想把錢花在自己愛的人身上 and he wants to spend it on somebody that he loves.
況且當他們提出要付耶魯大學學費的時候 And when they offered to pay for Yale,
羅莉還堅持把這筆錢 當成是跟他們借的,麥克 Rory insisted that it would be a fucking loan, Mike.
好吧,隨便 Okay, whatever.
反正這些關於誰最適合羅莉的爭論 都是在浪費時間 All these arguments about who's right for Rory are a waste of time anyway
因為嚴格說起來,這幾個傢伙都配不上她 because none of these guys are technically right for her anyway.
都配不上? None of them?
沒錯,她最後沒有跟其中任何一個一起 No, she doesn't end up with any of these guys.
她最後獨自一人,還懷孕了 She's single and pregnant at the end.
等一下,結局是羅莉單身又懷孕? Wait a second. It ends with Rory being single and pregnant?
對,那是在Netflix播出的集數 Oh, yeah, that's in the Netflix episodes.
- 我還沒看過 - 你之後會看 - Eh. Haven't seen those. - I mean, you watch 'em later.
好,我覺得呢 Yeah, I guess it's--
讓羅莉變成像萊拉一樣的單親媽媽 I mean, it's clever to make Rory a single mother
這安排挺聰明的,但並不是個好結局 just like Lorelai, but... it's not a good ending.
我來告訴妳什麼叫做不好的結局 I'll tell what's not a good ending.
那就是有人變成單親媽媽 因為有個食人殺手... It's somebody becoming a single mom because a cannibal hitman...
把不知情的爸爸吃掉了 eats the unknowing dad.
天啊 Jesus.
我聽說Netflix播出的新一季劇情很怪 但這也太怪了 I mean, I heard the Netflix season was weird, but fuck me.
尼克,我不是在講這部影集 I'm not talking about the show here, Nick.
我在講麥克和愛麗絲 I'm talking about Mike and Alice.
這就是我回來的原因 That's why I came back.
我想試著... To try and...
改變他們故事的結局 change the ending of their story.
我不希望妳的孩子 在沒有麥克的陪伴下長大 I didn't want your kid growing up without Mike.
我的孩子? My kid?
我們的孩子 Our kid.
妳在麥克告別式那天知道的 You find out the day of Mike's funeral.
聽著,各位,我們可以聊這些聊一整晚 Look, guys, we can talk about this all night,
但我們還有個食人魔要處理 but we have a cannibal problem.
這需要我們四個人攜手合作 And it's gonna take all four of us to fix it.
你要我幫忙救麥克一命? You want my help saving Mike?
尼克,聽我說 Nick, listen to me.
我知道你現在很生氣 I know that you're angry right now,
但人是會改變的 but people can change.
是嗎? Can they?
人確實可以讓自己放寬心胸 They can certainly feel less angry.
你要加入我們嗎? Now, you with us or not?
巴倫喜歡活捉獵物 The Barron likes to take his victims alive.
活捉? Alive?
這其實對我們來說是件好事 對我們有幫助 This is actually a good thing for us. This helps us.
他上一次活捉我? He took me alive last time?
他在愛麗絲沖澡的時候來到飯店 He showed up at the hotel while Alice was in the shower,
等到她沖完澡出來,你已經不見了 and you were gone by the time she got out.
你說你有計畫,對吧? You said you have a plan, right?
你和尼克待在這裡 You and Nick, you stay here.
巴倫等等會來敲門 The Barron will come knocking.
現在我們要假裝是主動把麥克交出去 Now we play it like we are voluntarily giving Mike away.
- 就像是我們很高興看到麥克快死了 - 天啊 - Like we're happy that Mike is dying. - Oh, God.
等他進來之後,妳就讓巴倫把麥克帶走 - Mm-hmm.- But once he's inside, you allow The Barron to take Mike.
- 你說什麼? - 等一下,讓誰把誰帶走? - What? - Wait, what-- let who take who?
我會去等巴倫和麥克 I am going to be waiting for The Barron and Mike
等他們從停車場的電梯下來 when they get off the elevator in the parking garage.
我會一槍解決他 I'm gonna have a clean shot.
為什麼不在他一到停車場的時候就開槍? Why not shoot him when he shows up in the parking garage?
沒人知道巴倫長什麼樣子 - Hmm.- Nobody knows what The Barron looks like.
沒人知道巴倫幾歲 Nobody knows what age The Barron is.
我們的計畫,是愛麗絲 等麥克一走出公寓房間就傳訊息給我 What we will do is have Alice text me what The Barron looks like
告訴我巴倫的長相 the second Mike has exited the apartment.
好,大家都清楚這個計畫了嗎? Okay, does everyone understand this plan?
這個完全是為了讓我活命的計畫? Which is designed entirely to keep me alive?
清楚,寶貝 Yes, baby.
我沒問題 I'm good.
是嗎? Yeah?
這是我的計畫,因此我瞭若指掌 Well, it's my plan so I understand it perfectly.
好的,好戲就要開演了 All right. Let's get hyped.
- 該上場了 - 放輕鬆 - It's go time. - Relax.
是,我們已經各就各位 Yes. Yes, we're in our positions.
好 Okay.
另一個尼克說,巴倫就快到了 The other Nick said The Barron will be here momentarily.
很好 Cool.
所以是何時開始的? So when did this start?
什麼?什麼何時開始? What? When did what start?
你們之前彼此不認識,現在卻是如此 At some point, you guys were strangers and... now you're here.
- 現在? - 你現在要知道? - Now? - You'll do this now?
- 對 - 我不知道,我不... - Yeah. - I don't know. I don't...
我不知道是從什麼時候開始的 I don't know when it started.
就只是... It just, um...
我只是在那當下就知道了 I just know when I knew.
不知道我們的答案是否一樣 I wonder if we have the same answer.
也就只有一個正確答案 Well, there's only one correct answer.
- 你確定你想知道? - 我問了 - You sure you wanna know? - I'm asking.
暴怒萊恩的婚禮 Roid Rage Ryan's wedding.
沒錯 Yeah.
總之,那就是為何我們 再也不回去明尼亞波里斯 So, that's why we can never go back to Minneapolis.
雙子城! Twin City!
我們敬這位美麗的新娘 So here is to the beautiful bride
還有她那位類固醇成癮的新郎 and her honestly steroid-addicted groom.
蠢貨,我愛你 I love you, Dumbass.
我也喜歡你,我喜歡你 And I like you. I like you.
真是俊男美女! You guys are beautiful!
- 暴怒萊恩! - 嘿! - Roid Rage! - Hey!
♪ So wild, standing there ♪
♪ With her hands in her hair ♪
♪ I can't help remember ♪
♪ Here in her place ♪
♪ So cool, she was like ♪
♪ Jazz on a Summer's... ♪
你是麥克,對吧? Mike, right?
嗨 Hey.
是,我是 Yeah, yeah.
- 嗨 - 妳好 - Hi. - Yeah.
- 我是愛麗絲 - 我知道 - Alice. - Yeah, I know.
我知道 I know, um...
妳先生是我的工作夥伴 Your husband's my work partner.
你知道他在哪裡嗎? You know where he is?
我有一段時間沒看到他了 他應該是跟索薩在裡面 Uh... I haven't seen him in a bit. I think he's inside with Sosa.
你錯了 Wrong.
他在裡面跟伴娘上床 He's inside fucking a bridesmaid.
我確定不是那樣 Well, I'm sure he's not.
我確定是那樣 I'm sure he is.
抱歉 Sorry about that.
這婚禮很不錯吧? It's a nice wedding, isn't it?
是不錯 Sure.
妳有...後悔過嗎? You ever, uh... You ever regret it?
結婚嗎? Getting married?
沒辦婚禮 - Not having a wedding. - Oh.
你是說去法院登記?還是私奔? You mean going to the courthouse? Eloping?
那就是他想要的 - Mmm-hmm. - That's what he wanted.
我其實也很喜歡,很好玩 I actually did like it. It was fun.
我喜歡那種衝動、熱情 I liked being impulsive. Passionate.
是啊,就我們兩個 Yeah, it was about us.
是呀 Yeah...
我們有過一段好日子 I guess we had a good run.
我和尼克之間也很像這樣 I could say the same about Nick and I.
你是說... About...
你們的友誼嗎? your friendship?
對 Yep.
我好無聊,你想跳舞嗎? I'm bored. Do you wanna dance?
好 Yeah.
走吧 Let's go.
怎麼回事? What the fuck?
♪ So cool, she was like ♪
♪ Jazz on a Summer's day ♪
♪ Music, high and sweet ♪
♪ Then she just blew away ♪
♪ Now she can't be that warm ♪
♪ With the wind in her arms ♪
♪ Valerie, call on me ♪
♪ Call on me... ♪
我好像跳得差不多了 I think I'm maybe danced out.
- 不會吧 - 是啊 - No. - Yeah.
少來 Come on.
♪ I'm the same boy I used to be ♪
很高興認識妳 Nice to meet you.
怎麼現在才遇到你? What took you so long?
該死,好,我的死期還真是準時 Oh, shit. Okay, my impending doom, right on schedule.
我覺得我應該先把金霸王關到衣櫃裡 I feel like I should put Kingpin in the closet.
巴倫吃人,他不吃貓 The Barron eats people. He's not ALF.
- 了解 - 好 - Right. - Right.
好,我們上 All right, let's go.
- 準備好了? - 好了 - Are we ready? - Yeah.
對了,塞住我的嘴 Yeah. Oh, gag me.
把我的嘴堵住 Gag me, gag me.
好,當然 Okay, sure.
- 好痛 - 對不起 - Fuck. Okay. - Sorry.
好 All right.
你好 Hello?
你們好呀 Hello in there.
我知道你們那邊有我要的東西 I believe you have an item I am pursuing.
你好呀 Hello, hello, hello.
怎麼了? What's happening?
麥克 Oh, Michael.
- 這是我的獎賞? - 對,我們為你準備的 - My prize? - Yeah. We got him for you.
真是太棒了 Wonderful, wonderful, wonderful.
先跟你說,這群人打算要置你於死地 Uh, just to let you know, this group here is planning on fucking you over.
天啊,是這樣嗎? My, my, my. Is that so?
- 尼克,你搞什麼? - 沒錯 What the fuck, Nick?
他們有一個人在停車場等你 Yeah. One of them is waiting for you in the parking garage.
打算等你到了停車場就殺了你 They are going to kill you when you get there.
那麼你為何要告訴我呢,這位小老弟? And why are you telling me this, my dear boy?
我一直試圖要擺脫這群人 - I'm trying to give this crew the slip. - Hmm.
- 我比較像是他們手上的人質 - 媽的 - This is more of a hostage-style... - Fuck.
而我想你可以幫我逃離這裡 ...situation and I figured you could get me out of here.
這件事情, Oh, well...
我絕對可以幫得上忙 ...I can definitely help you in that department.
你在搞什麼? What the fuck?
你他媽的在幹麼? What the fuck are you doing?
該死,他看起來很美味 Damn, he looked delicious.
但人生本來就不是想要什麼就有什麼 But you can't always get what you want.
- 我以為你會活捉這些人 - 是呀 - I thought you take these guys alive. - Yeah.
- 通常是這樣沒錯,但... - 麥克 - Mm-hmm. That's usually the case, but... - Mike.
畢竟我現在踏進了某個圈套裡 ...considering I walked into a trap of sorts.
你看起來不太高興 You don't look happy about this.
沒有,我只是... No, I just...
麥克? Mike?
麥克 Mike.
我原諒你 I forgive you.
- 太絕了,這真好玩 - 搞什麼鬼? - Oh, boy, that was fun. - What the fuck?
我的天啊,你料事如神 一切完全照著你的劇本走 Oh, man, oh, man. You were right. It went exactly as you expected.
- 我料事如神? - 是啊,喔,不好意思 - I was right? - Yeah-- Oh, I'm sorry.
我叫老薛,我是做道具的 就是那種電影特效 I'm Chet. I work in props. You know, special effects.
幫忙做血包和空包彈之類的 I do squibs and blanks, that sort of thing.
我們會在幾個月後見到面 We, uh... We meet a few months from now.
所以你是來自未來 I take it you're from the future.
不是,我來自今天下午 No, I'm from this afternoon.
嗨,可以來一份熱狗加芥末嗎? Yeah, can I get a hotdog mustard, please?
你通常都會加酸黃瓜醬 You usually get relish.
酸黃瓜醬沒了,我認識你嗎? They were out. Do I know you?
對,未來會認識 Yeah, in the future.
但我需要你在過去幫我個忙,也就是今天 But I need your help in the past which is today.
你今晚有空嗎? Are you free this evening?
- 不一定,請問你到底是誰? - 我告訴你,我叫尼克 - Depends. Who the fuck are you? - I'll tell you. My name's Nick.
- 我們一起吃過熱狗 - Uh-huh. - We've gotten hot dogs before.
- 這搞得我好亂 That's confusing.
解開剛見面時的困惑之後,我同意幫忙了 After the initial confusion subsided, I agreed to help out.
另一個你寫下了我所有的對白 The other you wrote all my dialogue.
其實要把同樣的話一連說三次 對我來說有點古怪 You know, saying words three times sounded a little quirky to me,
但你說:「聽著,你是在假扮食人殺手 but you said, "Hey, you're pretending to be a cannibal assassin.
古怪才是你的日常,老兄」 "Quirky is your zone, man."
好吧 Okay.
未來的你知道現在的你就是個混蛋 Future You knew that Present You would be a dildo
會出賣我們 and double-cross us.
未來的你也知道現在的你會感到後悔 And Future You also knew that Present You would regret it
就像之前第一次看到我死了的那一刻 the second you knew I was dead, like the first time.
沒錯,我... Yeah. I...
喂? Oh. Hello?
等一下 One second.
你想跟你聊聊 You wants to talk to you.
- 太棒了 - 真好玩 - That was great. - That was fun.
喂? Hello.
嗨,聰明人, - Hey, wise guy. - Hmm.
你學到教訓了嗎? Did you learn your lesson here?
有,我了解到這位不是真正的巴倫 Yeah, yeah. I learnt that this was not the real Barron.
好,這只是先預演一下 確認你到時候不會自亂陣腳 Yeah. Well, just a trial run to make sure you can keep your shit together.
我們瞞著你策劃了這一整套劇本 We planned the whole thing right under your nose.
我也並非待在樓下的地下室 And I'm not downstairs in the basement.
我在對街拿著狙擊槍待命 I'm across the street with a sniper rifle.
當時麥克死了,那是我第一次... When Mike died, the first time I...
經歷了今天晚上的事,心裡難受到不行 lived through this evening, it fucked me up bad.
然後,我當下就知道我犯了錯 And... I knew I made a mistake immediately.
我完全... There was...
享受不到復仇的喜悅,就只有... no joy in my revenge. Just a...
更加厭惡自己,而且... fresh case of self-loathing and...
我知道你也會有同樣的感覺 I knew you'd feel the same.
尼克,遺憾的是,像我們這種蠢蛋 Nick, unfortunately, we're the type of moron
就只能從犯錯中學到教訓 that can really only learn things from making mistakes.
這其實是個很差勁的性格缺陷 It's, uh, actually a very annoying character flaw.
那現在呢? So what now?
現在我要你跟老薛說再見 然後把房間裡打掃乾淨 Now I want you to say goodbye to Chet and clean the place up.
老薛 - Chet. - Huh?
再見 - Bye. - Oh.
很高興認識你們所有人 Uh, well, it was nice meeting all of you.
這次經驗十分愉快 This was a pleasant experience.
我送你出去 I'll walk you out.
- 謝了,老薛 - 好的 - Thanks, Chet. - All righty.
今晚不會再有假威脅了 我要大家全神貫注 There's no more fake threats this evening. I want all hands on deck.
眼前還有漫漫長夜要過 We got a long night ahead of us.
第一步是要先解決掉食人殺手 Step one is taking care of this cannibal hitman.
我要把這個地址傳給索薩 I'm gonna text Sosa this address
跟他說麥克已經是待宰羔羊了 and tell him that Mike is ready to be plucked.
準備迎接正牌的巴倫吧 Let's get ready for the real Barron.
了解,更聰明也更成熟的我 Okay, wiser, older me.
你要我們怎麼做? What do you want us to do?
天啊 Oh, God.
好 Okay.
- 要我去開門嗎? - 我來就好,謝謝 - Want me to get the door? - I'm good. Thank you.
有什麼差? Who gives a fuck?
請問是哪位? Who is it?
妳知道我是哪位 You know who it is.
哦，他好有型。 Oh, he's hot.
晚安 Good evening.
該死 Oh, fuck.
真是一道珍饈美味 A meal fit for a king.
這裡面... What's in the, uh...
裝著什麼呢? bag there, pal?
必需品 The essentials.
耳塞 Earplugs.
雕刻工具,以及... Carving tools and...
氯仿 chloroform.
該死的氯仿 Fucking chloroform.
好美的小貓咪 What a beautiful little feline.
請問牠叫什麼名字? May I ask its name?
牠是金霸王 Uh, that's Kingpin.
金霸王貓 Kingpin the Cat.
誰去檢查一下他的脈搏 Somebody check his pulse.
這真噁心 That shit's gross.
你們有聽到嗎? Do you hear that?
要避開狙擊手的視線範圍 Stay out of that sniper's line of sight.
廢話 Duh.
完了 Oh, fuck.
- 媽的 - 快點! - Fuck. - Come on!
尼克,解決他們! Nick, shoot them!
不管了 Fuck it.
親愛的,撐住! Hold on, honey!
- 手榴彈! - 什麼? - Grenade! Grenade! - What?
- 什麼? - 有手榴彈 - What? - Grenade.
媽的! Fuck!
該死 Fuck.
看來你這間房的押金是拿不回來了 Yeah, I don't think you're gonna get your deposit back.
現在幾點了? What time is it?
現在是續續續攤派對的時間 It's time for the after-after-after-party.
♪ This is my last resort ♪
♪ Suffocation, no breathing ♪
♪ Don't give a fuck if I cut my arm bleeding ♪
♪ This is my last resort ♪
(續續續攤派對)
吉米先生,晚安 Have a good night, Mr. Jimmy, sir.
是吉米小子,王八蛋 It's Jimmy Boy, motherfucker.
- 查理,還好嗎? - 嗨 - What's up, Charlie? - Hey.
替我向你女兒問好,好嗎? Say hey to your daughter for me, okay?
打起精神 Look alive.
吉米小子,你他媽來了! Jimmy Boy, you fucking-- Fuck you!
暴怒萊恩,你這個混帳東西 Roid Rage Ryan, you ripped son of a bitch.
- 別這樣 - 你穿這什麼 - Come on, now. - What are you,
- 你改行去顧門口了嗎? - 最好是!顧門口的嗑藥過量了 - you're the fucking door guy now? - Hell no! The door guy "OD'd."
- 天啊 - 是呀 - Oh, man. - Yeah.
- 他還好嗎? - 他掛了 - Is he good? - He's dead.
媽的!那你還...你還把他掛了當玩笑話講 Oh, damn! Why'd you... Weird you to put quotes when the guy died.
我知道,但... I know. But--
對啊,真是太糟了 Yeah, that's fucked up.
- 對了,聽說你結婚了 - 是呀,我結婚了 - Yo, I heard you got married, dude. - Yeah, I did.
- 是嗎? Yeah?
- 是,但你沒來參加 Yeah, but you weren't there.
對,我當時還在吃他媽的牢飯 Well, yeah, I was in fucking prison, dude.
- 該死! - 對啊 - Snap! - Yeah.
- 該死,兄弟! - 難不成你忘了? - Oh, shit, bro! Yo! - Yeah, you forgot?
- 歡迎你,歡迎回來 - 謝啦,媽的 - Man, welcome. Welcome back. - Yeah. Damn.
老話一句,歡迎回來,太棒了 You know what they say. Welcome back. It's good.
其他人也忘了嗎?沒人知道這件事嗎? Have other people forgot? Did people not know this?
- 嗨 - 吉米,還好嗎? - Hey. - What's up, Jimmy?
這個王八蛋一直在作弊,最好小心點 This motherfucker's been cheatin'. You better watch it.
該死 Shit.
好唷 Okay.
- 我來一杯,謝謝 - 歡迎 - I'll take that, thank you. - Uh, welcome.
寶貝,我回來了! I'm back, baby!
我超愛這些五彩紙屑 I fuckin' love confetti, man.
你說是手榴彈? It was a grenade?
尼克,我不知道你帶了怎樣的女生回家 I don't know what kind of girls you're bringing back to your place, Nick,
但是這... but it's...
不用多說,我懂 No, no. I get it.
我只是在跟你鬧著玩 I'm just giving you shit.
好,所以我們會把當地的警局和消防隊 Okay, so we're running interference with the local PD and the fire department
拖延個20到30分鐘 for the next 20, 30.
這樣就能幫你爭取時間 只要別鬧到無法收拾就好 So we can buy you time, but as long as it's not like a full-on blaze.
你們要換上乾衣服嗎? You guys wanna get dry?
我只找到這兩件給你們換 This is all I could find for both of you.
翡翠綠的脫衣舞孃胸罩 Oh, an emerald-green stripper bra.
現在的尼克,你人真好 That's very kind of you, Present Nick.
我兩件都要 I'll take both.
解決了嗎? Is it over?
很遺憾,沒有 麥克反將巴倫一軍,巴倫死了 Unfortunately, no. Mike got the jump on The Barron. He's dead.
那麼巴倫的助理呢? What happened to The Barron's assistants?
麥克把他們也都殺了 Yeah, well, Mike killed those guys, too.
畢竟他現在是亡命之徒 You know, he's on the run now.
好吧,不重要了 All right. It doesn't matter.
不好意思,為什麼不重要? Sorry, why doesn't that matter?
我要讓大家都玩得開心, 繼續狂歡慶祝 I'm gonna let everybody have a good time. Let the celebration continue.
但是明天一早 But when the morning comes,
他們不只會宿醉,還會收到軍令狀 they won't have just a hangover, they'll have marching orders.
在這件事解決之前,所有行動一律暫停 All operations will cease until this matter is resolved.
組織裡的每一位成員都只有一件事要做 Every member of the organization will have one responsibility,
那就是把麥克幹掉,拿他的頭來見我 "Find Mike and bring me his head."
我不管他逃到哪裡,也不管要花多長時間 Now, I don't care where he goes. I don't care how long it takes.
我一定要找到他,讓他死無葬身之地! He will be found and he will fucking die!
是,我聽清楚了,這件事我也想要參一腳 Yeah, no, I hear that. I wanna help with that fuckin' thing.
「把麥克幹掉」聽起來真棒,因為他活該 "Kill fuckin' Mike" sounds great. Because he deserves it.
因為他壞透了,非死不可 Because he's bad and he gotta die.
這就對了! Ah, yes!
敬那個混蛋內鬼 To that ratfuck.
好,待會見 Yeah, I'll see you soon.
我剛剛錯過什麼? So, what did I miss?
明天一大早 Well, first thing tomorrow morning,
組織裡的所有人都會來追殺你 the entire organization's gonna come after you.
- 好 - 你說什麼? 這時間夠多了 - Great. - Wait, what? That's plenty of time.
夠多時間做什麼? Plenty of time to do what?
找出真正的內鬼,這樣子我們就自由了 To figure out who the real rat is. We do that and we're free.
可惜,真正的內鬼已經死了 Well, the real rat is already dead.
我不懂 I'm confused.
還記得那次 跟加拿大人的交易出了紕漏嗎? Remember the deal that went wrong with the Canadians?
當然記得,火爆阿傑就是在那時候死的 Yeah, of course. That's when Jackie Napalm died.
太扯了! Fuck off!
- 火爆阿傑是內鬼? - 如假包換 - Jackie Napalm was the rat? - The one and only.
阿傑在我懷裡血流如注的時候 坦承了一切 Jackie confessed, when he was bleeding out in my arms,
是他當內鬼害索薩的孩子去吃牢飯 搞出這整件事 to being the rat and setting up Sosa's kid to get busted. The whole thing.
你正好可以藉此陷害麥克 That's exactly how you could pin it on Mike.
因為這世上只有阿傑可以證明不是這樣 Because Jackie was the only one that could say otherwise.
索薩會認為我是為了自保而說謊 Sosa's gonna think I'm lying to save my own ass.
我無法證明火爆阿傑是內鬼 大家都很喜歡他 I can't prove that Jackie Napalm was the rat. Everybody loved that guy.
對,他是真漢子 Yeah, he was a real one.
那我們該怎麼辦? So, what the fuck are we gonna do?
找出內鬼並不是我唯一想到的點子 Figuring out the rat wasn't my only idea.
那只是個比較簡單的解決方法,簡單很多 It was just the easier solution. Much easier.
我們的敵人現在都齊聚一堂了,對吧? All our enemies are under one roof, right?
我以為你已經受夠打打殺殺了 I thought you were done with this.
我知道 I know.
也許我還能再大開殺戒一次 Maybe I got one more left in me.
大家覺得呢? What do we say?
不是我們死就是他們亡 It's us or them.
是時候去參加派對了 Time to crash a fucking party.
嘿!嘿! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!
我愛你們! I love you guys!
聽著,兒子,我想是時候跟你說 Listen, son. I think it's time that we talked about
你的真實出身了,尤其是 where you came from. And specifically,
你為何沒遺傳到我的英俊瀟灑 why you don't have my good looks.
拜託,爸 我早就知道我是領養的,我不是笨蛋 Come on, Dad. I know I'm adopted. I'm not stupid.
問題就在這裡 Well, that's the thing.
我們並沒有領養你 We didn't adopt you.
不是嗎? You didn't?
你知道棄嬰是什麼嗎? You know what a foundling is?
- 像鴨子之類的嗎? - 聽我說 - Like a duck? - Now, look.
某天晚上,我到市中心閒晃 One night, I was walking downtown,
然後我聽到巷子裡傳來微弱的聲音 and I heard this faint sound coming from an alley.
在那片黑暗中... And there, in the dark, uh...
我看到了改變我一生的事物 I saw something that changed my life.
我看到一個好可愛的小男嬰 I saw a beautiful baby boy,
就在垃圾桶下面 right there under the dumpster.
- 我在他媽的垃圾桶裡? - 不是 - I was in a fucking dumpster? - No, no, no.
兒子,是在垃圾桶下面,不是裡面 Under the dumpster, son. Under the dumpster.
聽著,當時我看到你孤苦伶仃 Listen, when I saw you there, defenseless and alone,
身邊都是垃圾和老鼠... near all the trash and rats--
天啊,我身上有老鼠? Oh, man. There was rats on me?
聽著,我把老鼠都趕走了 總之,從那一刻起我就知道 Listen, I shooed them away. Anyway, I knew from that moment
你的安危是我的首要考量 that your safety was my number one concern.
不會再有壞事發生在你身上 Nothing bad would ever happen to you again.
- 但我是個垃圾寶寶? - 都他媽的過去了 - But I was like a garbage baby? - Oh, fuck all that shit.
- 你為什麼到現在才告訴我? - 不是這樣 - Why're you telling me that right now? - No, no, no.
你不是垃圾寶寶 You were no garbage baby.
從那一刻起 From that moment,
你就是我人生的驕傲和喜悅 you were my pride and joy.
我想要讓你擁有全世界 I want you to have the world.
但是現在... But, for right now...
我想要給你一個我之前提到的驚喜 ...I want you to have a surprise I talked to you about.
但其實不只一個驚喜 Ooh. But I should've said "surprises."
- 有兩個驚喜? - 你會超愛的,來吧 - Two surprises? - You're gonna love this. Come on.
合作愉快 Pleasure doing the business.
小莎 Oh, Sam.
還有一件事 One more thing.
方便幫我照顧這位朋友嗎? You mind keeping an eye on my friend here?
- 小莎? - 莎曼珊 - Sam? - Samantha.
- 剛剛是不是有一點... - 是 - Did I sense a little-- - Yeah.
也許才剛剛萌芽 Maybe it's early stages of it.
但幾個月後,其實什麼都沒發生 But nothing really happens for another few months.
最好別讓另一個我知道 Better not to say anything to the other me.
讓事情自然發展下去比較好 Better to let things unfold organically.
我會守口如瓶 Your secret's safe with me.
我可不想介入你和你之間 I wouldn't wanna get between you and you.
這是兩份大禮的第一份 - Now, this is the first of two gifts. - Ooh.
- 讚啦! - 我的老天啊! - Booyah! - Oh, my God!
這上面的「JB」代表什麼? What's the "JB" stand for?
在我揭曉第二份禮物之前 So, before I unveil gift number two...
我們組織裡有鼠輩搗亂好一陣子了 There's been a rat in our midst for a long time.
這是在說內鬼 還是在小時候想把我吃掉的那種? Like a snitch or the kind that was trying to eat me as a baby?
牠沒有想吃掉你 It wasn't trying to eat you.
- 牠只是在附近晃,幹! - 好 - It was just nearby. Fuck! - Okay.
- 我可以把話說完嗎? - 好,對不起 - Can I finish what I'm saying? - Okay, sorry. Sorry.
當初就是這隻內鬼鼠輩 It was this metaphorical rat
害你去吃牢飯 that got you sent to prison.
但我查出內鬼的身分了 But I found out who the rat is.
是誰? Who is it?
麥克 Mike.
快槍麥克? Quick Draw Mike?
我重複確認了四次 Oh, I quadruple confirmed it.
我以為我們是好兄弟 I thought we were boys.
他騙了我們所有人 Oh, he had us all fooled.
但我告訴你,別擔心 But I tell you what, don't worry about it.
任何人膽敢傷害我兒子 Anyone who hurts my son
都要付出慘痛的代價 will pay dearly for it.
現在,是時候給你最後一份大禮了 Now, it's time for your final gift.
進去那間房間 Get in that room.
嗨,吉米小子 Hi, Jimmy Boy.
嗨 Hi.
上吧,小子,打進去 Get it, boy. Bonk it.
他媽的王八蛋! Mother-cocksucking fuck!
你明知道那是狗屁!媽的,你看這個 You know that's bullshit! Fuck me. You watch this, mother--
看好了,學著點 Watch and learn.
《暗黑破壞神》，看看這個。 Diablo', mira a e'ta.
有十一個妹,你卻試都不試? Eleven women and you didn't even try?
這百分之百都要怪你 This is 100% your fault.
你一整個晚上都在說什麼老二硬不起來 You've been talking about dicks not working all night,
在我腦中揮之不去,結果我走進去之後 puttin' it in my head. And then, I go in there...
- 就... - 你沒有... - And... - Oh. You didn't--
- 像之前在脫衣舞俱樂部... - 了解 - Earlier at the strip club... - Yeah.
這是古老傳說了 It's a tale as old as time.
- 什麼傳說?《美女與野獸》嗎? - 不是 - What's that? Beauty and the Beast? - No.
我是說,有辦法能夠解決你的問題 No. I mean, there's a solution to your problem.
老兄,這是心理問題,你給自已太多壓力 It's psychosomatic, dude. You've put all this pressure
太在意自己的表現了,吉米 如果你能夠擺脫壓力 on yourself to perform, Jimmy. If you let that shit go, bro,
你的老二就會像鳳凰一樣浴火重生 oh, man, your dick is gonna rise like a phoenix.
亞利桑那鳳凰城嗎? Yeah, like the city in Arizona?
不是,就像是隻鳥 一隻有著強大魔力的大鳥鳥 No, bro. Like a bird. Like a magical fucking dick bird.
沒錯! - Whoa! - Yeah!
現在你直接上去,大幹特幹... Now, you go up there and you have sex--
該死! - Uh-oh. - Damn!
- 可惡! - 老兄,抱歉 - Damn it! - Sorry, dude.
這是我這輩子以來最糟糕的夜晚! This is the worst fucking night ever!
我先是發現麥克是內鬼 First, I find out Mike's the rat.
- 你頭髮上有東西,麥克... - 現在我頭髮上有冰沙! - You got something in your hair. Mike's-- - Now I got smoothie in my hair!
麥克是什麼?麥克是內鬼? Mike's the what? Mike is the rat?
你讓我全身上下都是冰沙! You got smoothie all over me!
抱歉,你為什麼要在派對上喝冰沙? Sorry, why are you drinking a smoothie at a party?
- 你知道我愛喝濃濃的飲料! - 知道,要加超多冰 - You know I like thick drinks! - I do, with a lot of ice.
而且那臺飲料機還壞了!才會這個樣子! And the piña colada machine was broken! So here we are!
了解 Yep.
我去把這個沖乾淨 I'm gonna go wash this shit off.
其實, You know what?
那臺飲料機也是我弄壞的 I broke the piña colada machine, too.
對不起,你真該死,東尼 I'm sorry. Goddamn it, Tony.
嗨,小莎,剛剛那個... Oh, hey, Sam. That was...
我朋友剛來過 My friend was just here.
我也會把手榴彈放在冰箱裡 I put grenades in my fridge, too.
不想讓別人拿裡面的東西 Don't want anybody getting in there, yeah.
我的女警朋友幫了我們一個大忙 My officer lady friend did a nice thing for us
在那棟房子裡放了許多傢伙 and filled the house with backups.
尖刀米契、蠢貨東尼 Mitch the Knife, Dumbass Tony,
長鞭威利、暴怒萊恩、番茄鮑伯 Willy Whip-Its, Roid Rage Ryan, Bob the Tomato,
那屋子裡的每個人都不好惹 everyone in that house is a grade-A threat.
太好了 Great.
稍微提醒一下 如果他們之中有人活著出來 Well, a small reminder that if any of them make it out alive,
- 我和麥克就死定了,因此,不要有壓力 - 所以你們兩個才要待在這裡 - Mike and I are dead. So, no pressure. - That's why you two are staying here.
什麼?不行 What? No, no, no.
沒有我,你不可能辦得到,我跟你一起去 No way you're doing this without me. I'm coming with you.
- 麥克,是你自己一直在說 - 尼克 - Mike, you've been saying this yourself. - Nick.
你受夠了這種生活方式 你待在這裡就好,可以嗎? You're done with this lifestyle. You stay here. All right?
祝我好運 Hey. Wish me luck.
- 準備好了嗎,尼克? - 我準備好了,尼克 - You ready, Nick? - Yeah, I'm ready, Nick.
祝你們好運 Good luck.
好吧 All right.
快點,至少讓我硬一半吧 Come on. Give me a half-chub at least.
好 All right.
- 總算來了,尼克 - 暴怒萊恩 - There he is. Nick. My man. - Roid Rage.
很高興見到你,真的很高興 Good to see you. Great to see you.
我也是 Yeah, you too.
我跟你說,你錯過了好多派對時光 You fucking missed a lot of partying. Let me tell you.
只想跟你說,我一直很喜歡跟你相處 I just want you to know I always enjoyed you.
老哥,謝謝你 Aw, thank you, man.
有時候,我們這一行 會讓人與人之間的關係變得複雜 Sometimes our business can complicate things between people,
- 但這向來不針對個人,你懂的 - 都是這樣 - but it's never personal. You know that. - I mean, look,
不然還能怎麼辦? 出來混總是要還的,對吧? what are you gonna do? You charge it to the game, right?
沒什麼好討價還價 Game don't take receipts.
是呀,很高興知道你是這麼想的 Yeah. Well, it's good to know you feel that way.
出去! Get out!
所有人給我滾出去 Everybody, get the fuck out.
- 索薩人呢? - 他在三樓! - Where's Sosa? - He's on the third floor!
該死! Oh, fuck!
幹! Oh, fuck!
- 他們在那裡! - 尼克,去死吧 - There they are! - Fuck you, Nick.
去吧 Go.
各位,我們要去大殺四方了,好嗎? Okay, guys, we're going to fucking battle, right?
我們要去保護朋友和家人,我們走! We're gonna protect our friends, our family. Let's go!
我來保護廚房 我會待在這裡,你們沒問題的 I'm gonna protect the kitchen. I'm gonna stay here, but you got this.
- 來,去吧,沒問題的 - 好 - Come on, let's go. You got this. - Yeah.
你們可以的,我相信你們 You've got this. I believe in you.
加油,大家,要為團隊犧牲小我 Okay, guys. There's no "I" in "team."
如果會害怕,記得互相依靠 我就在這裡,好嗎? Remember to lean on each other if you get scared. I'm right here, okay?
負責看守...嗨,麥克 Guarding the-- Oh, hey, Mike.
- 嗨,蠢貨 - 老兄,你錯過了超讚的派對 - Hey, Dumbass. - Dude, you missed a hell of a party.
直到有人開始開槍,這一切變得好可怕 Until they started shooting. Then it got scary.
- 是呀 - 等一下 - Yeah. - Wait,
吉米小子說你是內鬼? Jimmy Boy said you were the rat?
沒這回事,那只是一場誤會 Oh, no, no, no, no. That was just a misunderstanding.
- 謝天謝地 - 是啊 - Oh, thank God. - Yeah.
我真的很想相信你 但我得謹慎行事,你懂嗎? I really wanna believe you, but I'm gonna play it safe, okay?
對不起!很對不起! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!
麥克,對不起 我有打到你嗎?希望有打到 Mike, I'm sorry. Did I hit you? I mean, I hope I did,
但我真的很對不起 but I'm sorry anyway.
這是...該死,不! What's-- Oh, shit. No!
打起精神,來,要去打炮了 Come on. Let's go. Time to fuck. Come on.
(全靠本能反應)
該死 Oh, fuck.
嗨,尼克! Hey, Nick!
你在車裡待不住了 So much for staying in the car.
- 是啊,我有點心浮氣躁 - 感謝幫忙 - Yeah, I got a little antsy. - Appreciate the help.
舉手之勞 No sweat.
再見了,王八蛋! Adiós, motherfucker!
拜託,你連DJ都殺了? Oh, come on. You killed the deejay?
我們去找索薩,吉米小子交給你了 We'll go for Sosa. Handle Jimmy Boy.
來啊 Come on.
麥克,就是你害我硬不起來! I can't fuck because of you, Mike!
吉米小子,我不太確定你是什麼意思 I'm not sure I know what that means, Jimmy Boy.
麥克,我只是想打炮! I just wanna fuck, Mike!
尼克,不要過來 Nick, stay where you are.
把槍放下 Put your guns down.
尼克,你這該死的叛徒 Nick, you fucking traitor.
吉米小子 這不是針對你,但我必須這樣做 This isn't personal, Jimmy Boy. This had to be done.
麥克,我超討厭鼠輩 I fucking hate rats, Mike.
除了那部電影裡的老鼠,會煮東西的那個 Except for the one from that movie where it was cooking stuff.
-《料理鼠王》? - 對,麥克,《料理鼠王》 - Ratatouille? - Yeah, Ratatouille, Mike.
吉米小子,我不是內鬼,火爆阿傑才是 I'm not the rat, Jimmy Boy. It was Jackie Napalm.
麥克,你這樣講太缺德了 That's not fucking cool, Mike.
火爆阿傑是我的好兄弟,他是真漢子 Jackie Napalm was my boy. He was a real one.
索薩開始移動了 Sosa's on the move.
爸,我來救你了! I'm coming for you, Dad!
好吧 All right.
索薩,放開她 Let her go, Sosa.
我兒子人呢? Where's my son?
我以為他跟你一起跑出去了 Uh, I thought he was out here with you.
吉米小子? Jimmy Boy?
有誰能跟我解釋一下 Can someone explain to me
怎麼會有兩個他媽的尼克? how the fuck there's two Nicks?
爸 Dad.
吉米小子! Jimmy Boy!
你們做了什麼? What have you done?
我可沒有逼他從窗戶跳出去 Well, I didn't make him jump out the window.
你們他媽的毀了這一切 You've ruined fuckin' everything.
全毀了! Everything!
我現在還剩下什麼? What do I even have now?
你們根本無法了解 You couldn't possibly understand.
你們不知道獨自撫養孩子是什麼感覺 You don't know what it's like to raise a child on your own.
我是單親爸爸,只想給他最好的 A single parent, wanting only the best for him.
我們懂 We get it.
你是萊拉,他是羅莉 - You're Lorelai and he's Rory. - Mmm-hmm.
萊拉和羅莉? Lorelai and Rory?
《吉爾莫女孩》? The Gilmore Girls?
- 沒錯 -《吉爾莫女孩》 - That's right. - The Gilmore Girls.
這比喻說得真好 That's kind of you to say.
但吉米小子已經走了, But Jimmy Boy's gone now.
總得有人付出代價 And somebody's gotta pay.
索薩,我同意你 I agree with you, Sosa.
百分之百同意 A hundred percent.
但如果你真的要殺人抵命 If you're gonna kill somebody...
應該要殺我 it should be me.
索薩,我們都是因為犯了錯才走到這一步 Sosa, we're all here because we've made mistakes.
麥克打從一開始就不該加入幫派 Mike never should have been a gangster in the first place.
愛麗絲和我根本不該結婚 Alice and I never should've gotten married.
吉米小子也根本不需要跳出窗外 And Jimmy Boy never should've jumped out of that window.
該死,我犯了不止一個錯 Hell, I made more than one mistake.
我犯了超多錯 I made a lot of 'em.
我不該陷害麥克,說他是內鬼 I never should have framed Mike to be the rat.
這是我該負的責任 This thing is my responsibility.
所以,開槍吧,索薩 So, go ahead, Sosa.
把你的悲痛宣洩在我身上 Take your grief out on me.
是我活該 I deserve it.
我有個更好的主意 Well, I got a better idea.
我要殺掉會讓你心痛到崩潰的那個人 I'm gonna wanna kill whoever's gonna make you hurt the most.
目前看來就是快槍 And that looks like Quick Draw.
該死 Oh, shit.
快槍愛麗絲 Quick Draw Alice.
尼克? Nick?
你這個愚蠢的王八蛋 Oh, you stupid son of a bitch.
我應該沒事 I think I'm okay.
天哪,快點,尼克 Fuck this. Quick, Nick.
可惡,尼克 Oh, shit. Nick.
現在的尼克 Present Nick.
你不會有事,你很好 You're okay. You're doing great.
撐著點,兄弟 Hang in there, bud.
撐住好嗎?我們很快會幫你治療 All right? We'll get you fixed up soon.
我們離醫院還有多遠? How far are we from the hospital?
- 四英里 - 好 - Uh, four miles. - Okay.
這樣很好 This is good.
我們可以放什麼音樂來聽嗎? Do we have some fuckin' music or something?
- 有,想聽什麼都有 - 隨便放首歌吧 - Yeah, whatever you want. - Put on a fuckin' song?
好,我知道了 Yeah, yeah. I got you.
來,別擔心,我來搞定 Here. Don't worry, I got it.
兄弟,你要什麼都行,想怎樣都行 Whatever you want, brother. Whatever you want.
來,放音樂了 Here we go. Here we go.
- 有了 - 有嗎? - Yeah. - Yeah?
- 這首歌 - 你還沒死吧?別鬧了 - This song. - You didn't do that, did you? Fuck off.
- 試著呼吸,放輕鬆,你可以的 - 好 - Try to breathe. Relax. You got it. - Okay.
慢慢來 Nice and easy.
♪ Slip inside the eye of your mind ♪
♪ Don't you know you might find ♪
♪ A better place to stay ♪
♪ You said that you'd never been ♪
♪ But all the things that you've seen ♪
這樣很好 That's good.
♪ Will slowly fade away ♪
♪ So I start a revolution from my bed ♪
♪ Said the brains I had went to my head ♪
♪ Step outside the summertime's in bloom ♪
一起唱 Here we go.
♪ Stand up beside the fireplace ♪
♪ Take that look from off your face ♪
♪ 'Cause you ain't ever gonna burn ♪
♪ My heart out ♪
好,尼克,讓我聽到你的聲音 All right, Nick, let me hear you.
♪ And so Sally can wait ♪
♪ She knows it's too late ♪
- ♪ While we're walking on by ♪ - ♪ As we're walking on by ♪
很棒 That's good.
♪ Her soul slides away ♪
♪ But don't look back in anger ♪
♪ I heard you say ♪
- 尼克,你唱得真爛 - 對啊,兄弟,超難聽的 - You're such a shit singer, Nick. - Yeah, you sound like garbage, brother.
我覺得你的歌聲很棒 I thought you sounded great.
你很棒 You're doing great.
來,還有一段 All right, we got one more.
繼續跟我一起唱,繼續唱 Keep singing with me. Keep singing with me.
尼克,繼續一起唱下去 Nick, keep singing with me.
尼克,繼續唱,好嗎? Nick, keep singing. Okay?
我們沒問題的 We're gonna make it.
♪ So Sally can wait ♪
♪ She knows it's too late ♪
♪ As we're walking on by ♪
♪ Her soul slides away ♪
♪ But don't look back in anger ♪
♪ I heard you say ♪
♪ And so Sally can wait ♪
♪ She knows it's too late ♪
♪ As she's walking on by ♪
♪ Her soul slides away ♪
♪ But don't look back in anger ♪
好,沒事 Okay. Okay.
沒事的 Okay.
(急診室)
(萬普勒紀念醫院)
♪ At least not today ♪
我們有辦法解決 We can fix this.
你說什麼? What?
我們有辦法解決這個狀況 We can fix this.
親愛的 Sweetie...
尼克走了,他不會回來了 Nick is gone. And he's not coming back.
時光機炸毀了 The time machine blew up.
唯一能修好的人也已經死了 我知道這一切很難接受 The only guy who could fix it is dead. I know this is hard to accept.
但這是我們唯一的機會了 But this was our only shot.
但是... But...
為什麼我們不用另一臺呢? But why can't we just use the other one?
另一臺? The other one?
天啊 Oh, boy.
我以為你知道 I thought you knew.
我想也是,畢竟西蒙是我的朋友 Well, I guess it makes sense. Symon was my friend.
- 還有另一臺時光機? - 沒錯 - There's another time machine? - Yes.
♪ ...call on me ♪
♪ Call on me, Valerie ♪
(西蒙個人財產)
這臺機器有附說明書嗎? Does it come with an instruction manual?
(克拉倫斯二代原型機)
沒有,我們不需要 No, we'll be fine.
如果連尼克都會用,那麼誰都會的 If Nick could use it, fuckin' anybody could.
好,第二回合開始 All right. Time for round two.
♪ I'm the same boy I used to be ♪
《我當你兄弟》 ♪ Call on me, call on me ♪
♪ Call on me, Valerie ♪
♪ Come and see me ♪
♪ I'm the same boy I used to be ♪
♪ So cool, she was like ♪
♪ Jazz on a summer's day ♪
♪ Music, high and sweet ♪
♪ Then she just blew away ♪
♪ Valerie, call on me ♪
♪ Call on me, Valerie ♪
♪ Come and see me ♪
♪ I'm the same boy I used to be ♪
♪ I'm the same ♪
好,這看來有點反應過度了 Okay, this feels like a bit of an overreaction.
沒人喜歡這種說話態度 Nobody likes to be talked to like that.
我要你跟我一起講,準備好了嗎? And I want you to say it with me. You ready?
客人永遠是對的,試試看 The customer's always right. Try it.
- 客人永遠是對的? - 再說一次 - "The customer's always right"? - Say it again.
- 客人永遠是對的 - 你是客人嗎? - "The customer's always right." - Are you the customer?
- 我是客人嗎? - 你是客人 - Am I the customer? - You're the customer.
所以誰是對的? So, who's right?
- 你是對的 - 客人想要... - You're right. - The customer wants...
無糖糖果? Sugar-free candy?
無糖糖果 Sugar-free candy.
妳們... You guys, um...
妳們是來打炮的嗎? You guys here for the sex?
好唷 Yeah. Yeah.
我也是 Me, too.
就只有妳們,還是... Just you guys or...
進來就知道我們有什麼花樣了 Get in here and you'll see what we've got.
好的 Yeah.
我忘了拿水 Forgot the waters.
我去拿個...妳們要喝水嗎? I'm gonna go grab-- You guys need any waters?
我喜歡濕濕的感覺 I like being wet.
很棒,好,那我先去...我... Wow. [chuckles awkwardly] Okay. So, I'm gonna just, uh... I'm gonna--
我先去拿水, I'll grab the waters real quick.
妳們等我一下,好嗎? You guys just hang tight, okay? Yeah.
- 請用 - 謝謝你 - Here you go. - Thank you so much.
既然遇到你了,我想跟你說幾件事 I wanna tell you a couple things while I have you.
第一,我叫西蒙,西方的西 One, the name's Symon. It's with a "Y."
東南西北的西 So, S-Y-M-O-N.
第二,我是一位發明家 這應該滿酷的,對吧? Two, I'm an inventor, so I guess that's pretty cool, right?
第三,我在打造一臺能夠改變世界的裝置 Three, I'm creating a device that will change the fucking world.
等我打造出來,你所知道的一切都會改變 Everything that you know will change when this comes out, so...
第四,愛列清單,我很愛列清單 Four, love lists. I love lists.
來我家,我們喝一杯 Come to the house. We'll have a drink.
我有個更棒的主意 How about, even better,
我先去你家 when I come to your house,
舉杯慶祝我們就要殺了他 we have a drink and toast to the fact that we're gonna kill him?
然後殺了他之後,我們再舉杯慶祝一次 Then why don't we have a second toast after we kill him?
接著到他的告別式上,再舉杯慶祝一次 And then we'll have a third toast at his funeral.
還是我們乾脆舉杯慶祝 And then how about we have a toast
在這輩子接下來的每一年 every year, for the rest of our fuckin' lives,
都舉杯慶祝麥克一命嗚呼? toasting the blood leaving Mike's body?
我喜歡,對,就是這樣 I like that. Yeah, that's it.
敬那個混蛋內鬼 To that ratfuck.
天啊,真希望火爆阿傑就在這裡 God, I wish Jackie Napalm were here.
你為什麼總是在最不適合的時候提起他? Why do you always bring him up in the worst times?
因為他是我朋友,兄弟,你也會愛上他的 Because he is one of my friend, bro. You would've loved him.
他是,他是真漢子 He was. He was a real one.
阿傑,一路好走 我們愛你!這是給你的! RIP, Jackie! We love you! This one's for you!
這就是我們的作風 That's how we do it.
所以你現在在對抗誰? So, who are you fighting?
我在對抗金錢誘惑 I'm fighting the money, baby.
你要跟真正的敵人對抗,兄弟,在這裡面 Fight the real enemy. In here, bro. In here.
我再也不會找你來脫衣舞俱樂部了 I'm never coming to the strip club with you ever again.
巴倫喜歡活捉獵物 The Barron likes to take his victims alive.
他上一次活捉我? He took me alive last time?
天啊! Oh, God!
救命! Help!
(《我回來了》—吉米小子個人電影)
(吉米小子)
(劇終)
字幕翻譯:黃麒華
Subtitles merged by DualSub http://bonigarcia.github.io/dualsub/