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本字幕所有权益归制作人所有
纯属翻译爱好者交流学习使用
谢绝它用，否则一切后果自负
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震撼性教育

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现在发生的事只与我们

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人类的继续进化有关

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罗杰, 我是说我妹妹
应该学会看地铁示意图

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你那样说是忽略了

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人类之间关系的重要性

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我们的能力--
男人的能力: 看地图...

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航海，使得我们有用

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你该让你妹妹看都不看它

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你是说我们女人方向感差?

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哪边是北, 乔伊斯？不要四下看

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什么?

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你听到了的。指指北
快，北

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快，北

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北，北

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- 你对了.
- 他对了?

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- 他对了
- 印象深刻

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这是由于女人在历史上

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对表现出色的男人的依赖造成的

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通过不停地珩磨这些使我露脸的技术

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阻止了我必然的退化

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是你呆在家里珩磨录像机吧？

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我的录像机三年来每天开12小时

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还有什么, 罗杰?

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呃, 开车上下班
举重物

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- 举吉他
- 对，对

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尽管笑吧

29
00:02:04,716 --> 00:02:08,015
但在女人进化了移物的感应能力之前

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体力仍是主要的

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这就是用蛮力

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罗杰, 你忘了男人的一个重要作用

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是什么? 野餐?

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性

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对，我需要一个不光知道玩录像机的男人

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噢，我会帮你调录像机
好象你从没调过

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它是顶装的，你会调吗?

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有趣，英格兰的一些科学家

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刚宣布了他们想使鸡蛋受精...

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而不用精子细胞

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我不明白

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人类的每个细胞里
都有一个基因组的复本

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使得精子细胞倍受关注的原因是
到现在为止

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只有他们掌握了此技术

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克里斯多佛的一生中，人工受孕...

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使得精子就象底特律装配线上的工人一样没用

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幸运的是，我的会计师在几年前
就为我建了精子金伞

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防止它们变小

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如你所知, 罗杰,
你知道我们女人...

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做爱是因为我们喜欢

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- 不只为养儿育女
- 是的

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- 但男人是不可或缺的吗?
- 我不知道

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想想女人的生殖器结构

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等等，等等
好了，明白了

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阴道里最敏感的是哪里呢?

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- 不敢相信我们谈起了这个
- 我认为你知道, 多诺万

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是阴蒂，哥伦布·里纳多斯在1559年首次发现

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他原以为是印度

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噢, 别别!

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阴蒂顶端有8千个神经纤维

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比男人身上任何部分都多

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甚至我们的指尖

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它是大自然创造的
最最有效的

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愉悦传递系统

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那好, 问问你自己...

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为什么阴蒂在阴道里面...

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是为了使性交自然地...

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不自觉地, 给女人带来不断的愉悦?

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- 我知道答案
- 你说, 梅纳德女士

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因为在原始时期，女人死于生产

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所以若性交过于愉悦...

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就会与达尔文的观点相左

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- 印象深刻
- 太对了

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- 我们得到什么结论呢?
- 进化对女人有利?

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- 正确
- 对女人而言...

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性交和性体验(?intercourse and sexual fulfillment)
从来都是两回事

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新的技术使它实现

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未来的女性将进化阴蒂--
"clitori, clitorati"--

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"Clitorissimo."

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使它更大、更长、更敏感

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女人的能力，包括她自慰的欲望...

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将会呈指数增长...

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因为性交已与生殖无关

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- 我是又困惑又吃惊
- 你该当如此

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物种不是静止的
我们一直处在变化中

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两性的存在只有一个原因:

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到目前为止，它是繁殖后代的唯一方法

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有没有只有单性的物种呢...

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它没有雌雄之分?

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海星是一个例子

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下次看到海星时
我会让他操他自己

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好了，你喜欢的

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不，我们不喜欢

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我们说明了什么呢?

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平等?
平等, 它是什么?

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它是自然法则吗?

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我们坐在一起看地铁示意图

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不，当然不
物竞天择

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这才是自然法则

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选择. 有些需要丢弃，有些要失败...

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为了另外的一些被选择

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那, 这是什么含义呢?

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我们的后半生必须听从乔伊斯的命令

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对了，我喜欢

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这说明从现在起，10或15代人

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男人将处于被奴役状态

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科技和进化将使得

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精子被排斥在生殖之外

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我们最终的命运将是搬重物

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等待心灵感应战胜地球引力的那一天

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男人最后的用处也永远失去

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永远

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噢, 上帝, 罗杰

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- 什么? 我完了
- 那我的报告结束

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谢谢

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我爱你们

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好了, 就停这里

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- 天哪(耶稣基督)!
- 不，是我

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你怎么进来的?

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- 你从哪里拿到的?
- 用你的复制的

121
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- 何时?
- 上星期你派我去买百吉饼

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给我吧

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不停地打扰我你不烦吗?

124
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你脑子怎么了？
一周一次怎么变成了“不停地”?

125
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事实上，上星期是两次
包括星期五...

126
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你把我从沉沉的甜美的梦中叫醒
还要求使用我的身体

127
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- 你可以说不
- 什么? 开我的玩笑?

128
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那是行动指令

129
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我在30秒内穿好衣服
就象是自愿救火员

130
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我发疯似地--

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你应该停下来听我说
我有事要告诉你

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是吗?

133
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- 是关于我的股票, 乔伊斯
- 我知道

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你不能关上水闸

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- 放下
- 什么?

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- 我们该停止了
- 停止什么?

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上帝, 我喜欢在盥洗室看着你

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你就象赛后的运动员
卸下盛装

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我是说, 我们停止见面

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真的?

141
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整个事情是错的

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通常，我有很好的判断力
这次，却跑到窗外去了

143
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这件事没有错
没人知道我们

144
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我们一起出去, 我坐在那里...

145
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你知道, 几个小时后...

146
00:09:11,142 --> 00:09:13,110
我就是旅行推销员...

147
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你就是寂寞的家庭主妇

148
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我需要你在此事上成熟一点
不惹事

149
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乔伊斯, 我是你的男仆
是有教养的

150
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成熟些，明白吗?

151
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忘了那钥匙，好吗?
把钥匙保存在--

152
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今晚是我们的最后一晚
让它成为美好的一晚

153
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“告别”性从来不会美好

154
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下星期，我们来个“重聚”性--

155
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- 今晚我可以留下吗?
- 罗杰, 不

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好的

157
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嗨，来杯科兹莫，谢谢

158
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- 我们谈谈吧
- 对不起，我和别人在一起

159
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让我猜猜

160
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你是他们中的新人

161
00:11:57,741 --> 00:12:01,677
或许你从别处来到纽约
一个友好的地方

162
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起初你以独处为荣

163
00:12:06,450 --> 00:12:09,248
想在这大城市中为自己留个好名声

164
00:12:09,353 --> 00:12:12,982
过了一段, 你开始想
若能结识某人将会不错

165
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冬天即将来临
有时会寂寞

166
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还有呢?

167
00:12:21,165 --> 00:12:24,191
所以你开始迷恋你的主管...

168
00:12:26,136 --> 00:12:28,570
尽管办公室里的女人告诉你...

169
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" 注意，他是个添麻烦的人 "

170
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- 为什么他是添麻烦的人?
- 因为他是做戏的

171
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他是个收藏战利品的家伙

172
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每个在那里工作的女人
最后都会和他上床

173
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如果你屈服于诱惑...

174
00:12:42,653 --> 00:12:46,089
你就会成为水工口里肮脏的笑话

175
00:12:46,190 --> 00:12:47,657
我说的对吗?

176
00:12:50,494 --> 00:12:53,429
- 是个好故事
- 是老一套

177
00:12:53,530 --> 00:12:55,498
你不归纳世事的时候做些什么?

178
00:12:55,599 --> 00:12:58,261
做归纳，归纳出精华所在有什么错?

179
00:12:58,369 --> 00:13:02,271
见证事情的进展有什么错?

180
00:13:02,373 --> 00:13:05,433
那到底发生了什么事?
有什么大发现?

181
00:13:06,377 --> 00:13:08,140
我为什么要告诉你?

182
00:13:08,245 --> 00:13:10,543
告诉你也不会改变什么

183
00:13:10,648 --> 00:13:15,085
比如说, 我可以告诉你
你自以为是的个性

184
00:13:15,185 --> 00:13:17,949
只不过是名利场中的东西

185
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我可以告诉你
你今晚选择的性伙伴

186
00:13:22,593 --> 00:13:25,460
是几个月前由几个
Young & Rubicam公司的业务员定的

187
00:13:25,562 --> 00:13:28,759
我可以告诉你
可用几个星期分析一下你父亲...

188
00:13:28,866 --> 00:13:30,993
和他忽略你的方式...

189
00:13:31,101 --> 00:13:34,434
我可以下结论
你将无力抵抗，非常无助

190
00:13:39,109 --> 00:13:42,010
我可以告诉你所有这些
但你会怎样处理这些信息呢?

191
00:13:42,112 --> 00:13:44,580
有女人喜欢听这些东西吗?

192
00:13:45,916 --> 00:13:47,543
我在讲我看到的事实

193
00:13:47,651 --> 00:13:50,415
你将和老板上床
那关我什么事

194
00:13:54,725 --> 00:13:58,092
他不是父亲
他只是个穿西服的家伙

195
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你无力抗拒地要实现那个悲惨的

196
00:14:06,837 --> 00:14:09,772
令人伤心的预言
一定要--

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- 嗨
- 嗨

198
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- 你在等人?
- 是的，我未婚夫

199
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- 祝贺你
- 谢谢

200
00:14:46,710 --> 00:14:49,611
祝贺你

201
00:14:54,385 --> 00:14:55,875
他是个好人吗,
你的未婚夫?

202
00:14:55,986 --> 00:14:57,954
他尊重你吗?

203
00:14:59,089 --> 00:15:01,819
这不关你的事
但，是的，他尊重我

204
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- 那必会使你紧张
- 为什么那会让我紧张?

205
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别装了

206
00:15:09,600 --> 00:15:12,467
看看时间，我们一起做做算术

207
00:15:12,569 --> 00:15:14,264
你在说什么?

208
00:15:14,371 --> 00:15:17,568
让我猜猜, 缺少自尊...

209
00:15:17,674 --> 00:15:22,771
更年前期...
忧虑使你追求一些--

210
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无法选择的关系?

211
00:15:26,150 --> 00:15:30,587
但经过自我治疗使你相信

212
00:15:30,687 --> 00:15:32,848
内在美才是主要的

213
00:15:34,725 --> 00:15:39,924
你能配得上那个尊重你的完美的家伙

214
00:15:40,030 --> 00:15:41,964
要我叫招待员吗?

215
00:15:42,065 --> 00:15:43,999
除非你是个傻子--
但我不认为你是--

216
00:15:44,101 --> 00:15:46,001
除非你是个可怜的、无助的吸毒者...

217
00:15:46,103 --> 00:15:48,697
你和我都知道
那家伙将在某天清晨

218
00:15:50,007 --> 00:15:52,339
他会四处看看
看看你有多老

219
00:15:52,443 --> 00:15:55,606
看看你到底什么样
那天他将出去

220
00:15:55,712 --> 00:15:57,680
买包烟，再也不回来

221
00:15:58,449 --> 00:16:00,280
到那时--
你怎么办?

222
00:16:01,552 --> 00:16:04,521
若她看不出要发生的事
我会为她流泪的

223
00:16:17,901 --> 00:16:20,165
- 能帮你什么吗，先生?
- 不用，谢谢，我没事

224
00:16:20,270 --> 00:16:22,033
我是说, "你有什么事?"

225
00:16:23,907 --> 00:16:27,775
- 另一个家伙呢? 是--
- 他回家睡觉了

226
00:16:27,878 --> 00:16:31,644
那好，我有重要事情
要马上见梅纳德·乔伊斯，所以--

227
00:16:31,748 --> 00:16:34,376
我明白，为何不留个便条呢?

228
00:16:36,920 --> 00:16:38,649
我要见她 这很重要

229
00:16:38,755 --> 00:16:41,349
那不行，我可以...

230
00:16:41,458 --> 00:16:43,824
给你叫辆车 你回家睡觉

231
00:16:43,927 --> 00:16:46,020
你为什么不回家?

232
00:16:46,129 --> 00:16:48,723
你知道什么?
我们有点分歧

233
00:16:48,832 --> 00:16:52,734
我是她男友. 我是她男友, 明白?
你是谁? 你是谁?

234
00:16:52,836 --> 00:16:57,239
我是你若不走就要叫警察的人!

235
00:17:47,491 --> 00:17:50,790
罗杰, 我是苏珊
今天是星期四，我要你打--

236
00:18:29,132 --> 00:18:31,259
- 罗杰, 听二线
- 是谁?

237
00:18:31,368 --> 00:18:34,337
- 是关于新的活动
- 什么新活动? 是谁

238
00:18:36,773 --> 00:18:39,970
- 是苏珊
- 告诉她我不在

239
00:18:40,077 --> 00:18:42,910
- 她说这很重要--
- 告诉她我不在

240
00:18:49,653 --> 00:18:53,282
这个 有点 傲慢
就象, "是什么?"

241
00:18:53,390 --> 00:18:55,187
- 这个是, 象--
- 你喜欢傲慢?

242
00:18:55,292 --> 00:18:57,453
- 这个象90年代的偶像
- 象我

243
00:18:57,561 --> 00:18:59,461
- 那是你的问题
- 是你的恶梦

244
00:18:59,563 --> 00:19:02,623
嗨, 罗杰
你今晚去乔伊斯那里吗?

245
00:19:04,201 --> 00:19:05,828
什么?

246
00:19:06,570 --> 00:19:09,630
- 你没收到邮件?
- 什么邮件?

247
00:19:12,409 --> 00:19:14,001
是关于晚会的?

248
00:19:15,045 --> 00:19:16,478
你去吗?

249
00:19:16,580 --> 00:19:19,208
乔伊斯开晚会
我不问什么，我只是去

250
00:19:29,559 --> 00:19:31,083
她在开电话会议

251
00:19:31,194 --> 00:19:33,788
泰德, 有人在我办公室

252
00:19:33,897 --> 00:19:36,058
- 再见, 泰德
- 没事的, 堂娜, 你可以--

253
00:19:36,166 --> 00:19:39,067
- 再见，堂娜
- 我5分钟后打给你

254
00:19:39,169 --> 00:19:42,935
"5分钟"?
这是5分钟的问题吗?

255
00:19:43,040 --> 00:19:44,701
坐下

256
00:19:44,808 --> 00:19:46,867
我不想坐下
我想站着

257
00:19:47,878 --> 00:19:49,846
你昨晚是不是想闯进我的大楼?

258
00:19:52,182 --> 00:19:54,776
今晚为何不邀请我?
除了我大家都去

259
00:19:54,885 --> 00:19:56,876
那象什么话?

260
00:19:59,189 --> 00:20:02,090
- 我们要重新划分界线
- 不要

261
00:20:04,027 --> 00:20:07,053
我是你的老板，你为我工作

262
00:20:07,164 --> 00:20:09,359
你写得一手好文章

263
00:20:10,834 --> 00:20:16,101
但我有一大帮象你这样的人

264
00:20:16,206 --> 00:20:18,902
但他们做我做的那事吗?

265
00:20:19,009 --> 00:20:20,772
你喜欢的那事?

266
00:20:21,645 --> 00:20:26,480
我已给你解释过
我不想在公共场合见你

267
00:20:34,758 --> 00:20:36,726
想办法想通这个问题

268
00:20:47,938 --> 00:20:50,065
那是什么意思?

269
00:21:22,172 --> 00:21:23,332
尼克?

270
00:21:25,609 --> 00:21:27,440
罗杰叔叔
过得好吗?

271
00:21:29,146 --> 00:21:30,943
你在这里干什么?

272
00:21:31,882 --> 00:21:34,612
什么? 噢
我想看看你工作的地方

273
00:21:35,752 --> 00:21:39,483
- 好的 不 你在这里干什么?
- 什么?

274
00:21:39,589 --> 00:21:42,319
- 你是说纽约?
- 是的

275
00:21:42,425 --> 00:21:45,952
我来哥伦比亚大学面试
所以妈妈说该来看看你

276
00:21:46,062 --> 00:21:48,997
- 坐吧
- 好的

277
00:21:49,099 --> 00:21:50,999
那些电话就是为这事了

278
00:21:51,101 --> 00:21:53,467
- 电话?
- 是，你妈妈给我打过电话

279
00:21:53,570 --> 00:21:57,199
- 你和她谈了?
- 是电话留言

280
00:21:57,307 --> 00:21:59,537
她说你可以看你在这里的工作

281
00:21:59,643 --> 00:22:01,611
是吗?

282
00:22:01,711 --> 00:22:04,874
其实没有什么可看的, 尼克

283
00:22:04,981 --> 00:22:08,212
真的? 象是，你整天干什么?

284
00:22:08,318 --> 00:22:10,286
我整天干什么?

285
00:22:11,254 --> 00:22:13,984
我坐在这里
想办法让人们觉得不好受

286
00:22:15,592 --> 00:22:18,322
- 我以为你写商业文章
- 是的...

287
00:22:18,428 --> 00:22:21,397
但若你不让人们觉得难受
就卖不了产品

288
00:22:22,199 --> 00:22:23,496
为什么?

289
00:22:26,236 --> 00:22:28,204
这是个替换游戏

290
00:22:29,339 --> 00:22:31,899
你要提醒他们生活中缺少了什么

291
00:22:32,008 --> 00:22:33,839
每个人都会有缺憾，是不是?

292
00:22:33,944 --> 00:22:35,878
- 我想是的
- 相信我

293
00:22:35,979 --> 00:22:38,573
当他们的这种感觉很强烈时

294
00:22:38,682 --> 00:22:41,776
你说服他们
你的产品是唯一能补足这缺憾的

295
00:22:41,885 --> 00:22:44,115
为此，不是采取行动处理他们的生活...

296
00:22:44,221 --> 00:22:47,952
不是努力工作来消除他们的不幸的根源...

297
00:22:48,058 --> 00:22:50,959
而是跑去买一堆难看的裤子

298
00:22:59,436 --> 00:23:03,202
- 那么... 有意思吗?
- 可以的

299
00:23:03,306 --> 00:23:06,104
你看，我的一天就是这样

300
00:23:06,209 --> 00:23:08,177
酷
我们去吃点东西吧

301
00:23:10,881 --> 00:23:14,408
- 好的. 我们离开这里
- 很好

302
00:23:39,042 --> 00:23:41,909
你吓了我一，我以为你在梦游

303
00:23:42,012 --> 00:23:45,573
- 什么? 什么时候?
- 在办公室?

304
00:23:47,050 --> 00:23:49,575
那是站立冥想
那使我平静，谢谢

305
00:23:49,686 --> 00:23:52,086
为何你要平静?
你才十几岁，谢谢

306
00:23:52,188 --> 00:23:54,156
当有压力的时候，我的脑子就会晕

307
00:23:54,257 --> 00:23:56,919
深思冥想会让我转移注意力
忘掉烦恼

308
00:23:57,027 --> 00:23:59,791
- 烦恼?
- 象恐惧和疼痛

309
00:23:59,896 --> 00:24:03,627
是幻象，它呈现为阴郁三角形
这就是我

310
00:24:03,733 --> 00:24:07,328
我把三角外的其它东西放到红区
还管用

311
00:24:09,739 --> 00:24:11,536
你父母怎样?

312
00:24:16,579 --> 00:24:19,639
- 他们离婚了
- 什么?

313
00:24:19,749 --> 00:24:21,774
是的，我爸爸搬走了

314
00:24:21,885 --> 00:24:24,285
- 开玩笑吧。什么时候发生的?
- 不久

315
00:24:24,387 --> 00:24:26,753
奶奶的葬礼后我就没见过你

316
00:24:32,862 --> 00:24:34,989
- 上帝, 尼克. 我很难过
- 没什么了不起的

317
00:24:35,098 --> 00:24:37,589
我还和爸爸联系
他在途中打电话

318
00:24:37,701 --> 00:24:39,191
你妈妈怎样?

319
00:24:39,302 --> 00:24:40,667
她很好，你知道的

320
00:24:42,706 --> 00:24:45,004
- 奇怪她没和你一起来
- 或许因葬礼发生的事...

321
00:24:45,108 --> 00:24:46,973
她不敢见你

322
00:24:47,077 --> 00:24:50,137
那全是因为你爷爷太牛*

323
00:25:03,426 --> 00:25:05,189
你何时面试?

324
00:25:06,563 --> 00:25:09,088
- 就是今天
- 怎么样?

325
00:25:09,199 --> 00:25:11,565
我想还行. 是因为妈妈我才面试的

326
00:25:11,668 --> 00:25:14,398
- 你对大学不感兴趣?
- 为何要不停地上学呢

327
00:25:14,504 --> 00:25:17,064
我已经能独立处理事情了

328
00:25:17,173 --> 00:25:19,903
爸爸没上大学
在我这个年龄他已经上路了

329
00:25:20,010 --> 00:25:22,308
- 有什么事吗?
- 没事，谢谢

330
00:25:24,014 --> 00:25:29,179
但是... 上学的好处是可有很多空闲

331
00:25:29,285 --> 00:25:31,685
- 对社交有好处
- 是的

332
00:25:35,859 --> 00:25:41,058
所以... 妈妈说你很在行,
象个花花公子

333
00:25:41,164 --> 00:25:44,395
- 她那么说的?
- 但她说的象是贬意

334
00:25:44,501 --> 00:25:46,469
那才象她

335
00:25:47,270 --> 00:25:50,671
- 是真的吗?
- 你怎么样? 有女朋友了?

336
00:25:52,475 --> 00:25:56,434
没，我是说，还没有

337
00:25:57,981 --> 00:26:02,611
我越来越大了
有好多事情我想能--

338
00:26:06,189 --> 00:26:10,558
有好多事我还没--
有些事我应该--

339
00:26:10,660 --> 00:26:12,628
我想你是说你该有所体验

340
00:26:12,729 --> 00:26:14,720
不，我是说，不是这个

341
00:26:14,831 --> 00:26:17,595
你不明白
我需要有个明白人指点

342
00:26:17,700 --> 00:26:20,464
我在跟你开玩笑, 尼克
那就是上大学的原因

343
00:26:20,570 --> 00:26:25,564
你找个需辅导学业的足球队员
他帮你找个女友

344
00:26:25,675 --> 00:26:28,644
- 你没明白
- 我明白，我也有过16岁

345
00:26:29,579 --> 00:26:31,945
若上不了大学 你怎么办?

346
00:26:32,048 --> 00:26:34,414
设计软件
或许做仿真游戏

347
00:26:34,517 --> 00:26:36,985
很好，你是电脑高手
那能赚到钱

348
00:26:37,087 --> 00:26:39,055
我给别人建系统已经赚到钱了

349
00:26:39,155 --> 00:26:41,555
我在为爷爷的研究搞网页

350
00:26:41,658 --> 00:26:44,183
什么，那老家伙?
他真在花钱?

351
00:26:44,294 --> 00:26:45,488
是的，很大笔钱

352
00:26:45,595 --> 00:26:47,961
有意思，因为他对着计算机吼
好象那是个人似的

353
00:26:48,064 --> 00:26:50,123
他总是说"那狗娘养的吃了我的文件"

354
00:26:50,233 --> 00:26:53,760
- 或, "她在装模做样"
- 你在那里花了很多时间?

355
00:26:53,870 --> 00:26:54,837
现在是这样

356
00:26:54,938 --> 00:26:58,135
我放学后去
他来和我们一起吃晚餐

357
00:26:58,241 --> 00:27:02,109
等等，他跟你和苏珊一起吃晚餐?

358
00:27:02,212 --> 00:27:06,114
是的。因为奶奶死了，没有人照顾他

359
00:27:06,216 --> 00:27:09,117
即使在离婚后，妈妈也每天去做晚饭

360
00:27:09,219 --> 00:27:12,848
我是说 每天
她是个疯子

361
00:27:17,527 --> 00:27:19,495
是的，她是个疯子

362
00:27:23,433 --> 00:27:24,798
那么, 尼克

363
00:27:26,803 --> 00:27:28,930
你需要帮助去接近女士?

364
00:27:32,342 --> 00:27:34,572
好的 那我们开始 直接了当

365
00:27:34,644 --> 00:27:38,842
性无处不在，它就在我们周围

366
00:27:38,948 --> 00:27:41,883
它不是远不可及
它不是珠穆朗玛峰

367
00:27:41,985 --> 00:27:45,546
它就在这里
你要调节好自己适应它

368
00:27:45,655 --> 00:27:47,555
你必须使自己进入状态

369
00:27:47,657 --> 00:27:49,557
你必须找到这一领地, 尼克. 好吗?

370
00:27:49,659 --> 00:27:53,288
做到这些，我保证
一个崭新的世界将为你打开

371
00:27:54,430 --> 00:27:57,797
看看我，我走路的样子充满了感知(易接受性)

372
00:27:57,901 --> 00:28:01,200
- 我就象个避雷针
- 好的，不错。我做什么呢?

373
00:28:02,472 --> 00:28:05,498
对入门者，要摆脱困扰和那阴郁三角

374
00:28:05,608 --> 00:28:09,135
我们不排斥什么, 尼古拉斯
我们让他们来

375
00:28:09,245 --> 00:28:10,610
让什么来?

376
00:28:10,713 --> 00:28:13,045
这城市中有数百万女人

377
00:28:13,149 --> 00:28:16,380
有数百万. 她们大都不知道
她们的身体

378
00:28:16,486 --> 00:28:19,216
有无数种方法暴露给我们的眼睛

379
00:28:19,322 --> 00:28:22,018
首先，学会看太阳，知道它的位置

380
00:28:22,125 --> 00:28:27,825
你会发现... 逆光和透明的关系

381
00:28:27,931 --> 00:28:30,957
她们穿浅色衣服 内衣直接显现出来

382
00:28:31,067 --> 00:28:34,002
乳罩带，女裤带
根本不需要伸脖子或斜视

383
00:28:34,103 --> 00:28:38,233
它就在那里，明白?
例如--

384
00:28:45,848 --> 00:28:46,906
什么?

385
00:28:47,016 --> 00:28:49,416
你要象建筑工人那样吹走我的掩护?

386
00:28:49,519 --> 00:28:52,545
- 不. 我刚要--
- 用用脑子

387
00:28:53,456 --> 00:28:57,722
后退. 让她过去
停几秒钟

388
00:28:57,827 --> 00:29:01,194
看着，然后伪装你的动作，注意

389
00:29:05,468 --> 00:29:08,130
看看手表或者呼机

390
00:29:08,238 --> 00:29:10,798
或者看路标 好象你迷了路

391
00:29:10,907 --> 00:29:13,501
你看到我做了一组动作
不管做什么，不要被发现

392
00:29:13,610 --> 00:29:16,238
你认为女人知道发生的事吗?

393
00:29:16,346 --> 00:29:19,907
她们想什么
只是股票报价、钻头尺寸

394
00:29:20,016 --> 00:29:22,712
她们什么也不知道!
就让它维持这样吧

395
00:29:22,819 --> 00:29:26,585
- 好的
- 你的眼睛怎么样?

396
00:29:26,689 --> 00:29:29,249
- 什么? 我的眼睛?
- 你的眼睛. 你的视力怎样?

397
00:29:29,359 --> 00:29:31,919
- 很好. 20-20.
- 好的. 远处的?

398
00:29:32,028 --> 00:29:34,758
- 我不知道. 我想应该不错
- Fine's not gonna cut it.

399
00:29:34,864 --> 00:29:38,322
你必须增强肌肉
就象在为奥林匹克锻炼

400
00:29:38,434 --> 00:29:41,198
上、下、左、右，等等

401
00:29:44,173 --> 00:29:45,868
- 看着我的手指
- 好的

402
00:29:45,975 --> 00:29:47,602
- 当它消失时告诉我
- 好的

403
00:29:48,478 --> 00:29:50,844
- 好的. 停
- 就这样?

404
00:29:50,947 --> 00:29:53,074
在你准备好上街之前

405
00:29:53,182 --> 00:29:55,446
你需要100，110度

406
00:29:55,551 --> 00:29:57,519
天气好时我能看到后面

407
00:29:58,288 --> 00:29:59,778
- 你玩计算机游戏?
- 当然

408
00:29:59,889 --> 00:30:01,789
好，那东西可训练眼力

409
00:30:01,891 --> 00:30:02,858
瞬间记住映像

410
00:30:02,959 --> 00:30:05,086
那很有价值
噢，在那里

411
00:30:05,194 --> 00:30:07,754
蓝色运动衫. 蓝色运动衫
中间. 蓝色运动衫. 蓝色运动衫

412
00:30:11,668 --> 00:30:14,398
那小姐正在--
你没看见

413
00:30:14,504 --> 00:30:16,529
- 我知道
- 只有几微秒

414
00:30:16,639 --> 00:30:20,336
就是这样
但经过训练的眼睛一眼就能看到

415
00:30:20,443 --> 00:30:23,003
你必须学会预见你的机会

416
00:30:23,112 --> 00:30:25,103
下出租车、经过地铁壁炉

417
00:30:25,214 --> 00:30:29,310
就象你久违了那里
弯腰捡起什么

418
00:30:29,419 --> 00:30:32,320
这些情况下需要反应迅速

419
00:30:32,422 --> 00:30:35,755
- 告诉你，我可以做到
- 你现在慢了我一步, 尼克

420
00:30:35,858 --> 00:30:39,419
嗨，那不足为奇
我记得那里的样子

421
00:30:39,529 --> 00:30:40,996
没有交流，没有新面孔

422
00:30:41,097 --> 00:30:44,260
看着我。我每天走过大街、地铁、自动提款机队列、

423
00:30:44,367 --> 00:30:46,460
办公室、运动场--

424
00:30:46,569 --> 00:30:48,230
你发现什么?

425
00:30:48,338 --> 00:30:50,898
俄亥俄州的年轻人坐在车里

426
00:30:51,007 --> 00:30:52,975
渴望的眼神看着红灯

427
00:30:53,076 --> 00:30:54,907
不，我去学校
那里有交流

428
00:30:55,011 --> 00:30:56,603
好，我们就分析那里

429
00:30:56,713 --> 00:30:59,079
我记得大学的楼有4层

430
00:30:59,182 --> 00:31:01,047
- 现在有5层
- 不管它

431
00:31:01,150 --> 00:31:04,381
那是多层的，就是说 楼梯很妙

432
00:31:04,487 --> 00:31:07,945
为解决眼睛视角问题，到这来

433
00:31:08,057 --> 00:31:10,082
在这个角度，高可看乳沟

434
00:31:11,794 --> 00:31:15,252
- 低可看裙子
- 是的

435
00:31:15,365 --> 00:31:18,994
记住，不必为用老手法而害羞

436
00:31:19,102 --> 00:31:21,832
丢下铅笔，系鞋带
只是不要泄露出来

437
00:31:21,938 --> 00:31:24,498
有没有反光的东西?
镜子，窗户?

438
00:31:24,607 --> 00:31:26,700
什么，在学校里?
没，那里没有镜子

439
00:31:26,809 --> 00:31:29,209
那个难看的玻璃奖品容器--

440
00:31:29,312 --> 00:31:31,246
- 对，在那里
- 好，利用它，太好了

441
00:31:31,347 --> 00:31:34,646
去那里站一会
走，走，停

442
00:31:36,052 --> 00:31:39,351
若你不能直接看见
就转身用玻璃看

443
00:31:39,455 --> 00:31:40,683
嗨，太棒了

444
00:31:40,790 --> 00:31:44,226
记住，入射角等于反射角

445
00:31:44,327 --> 00:31:47,888
就是说，若你能看见她们
她们也能看见你，要注意

446
00:31:47,997 --> 00:31:50,227
- 这真是复杂
- 这是火箭科学

447
00:31:50,333 --> 00:31:52,893
- 你很精于求助
- 我有一个问题

448
00:31:53,002 --> 00:31:54,731
当她们穿短袖时

449
00:31:54,837 --> 00:31:57,897
举手拢头发，就能从缝隙是看到

450
00:31:58,007 --> 00:32:01,272
看看，这说明你在利用你的智慧

451
00:32:01,377 --> 00:32:04,073
- 她们知道我们能看到吗?
- 她们当然知道

452
00:32:04,180 --> 00:32:06,944
乳房非常敏感
当它们暴露在空气中时 她们会知道

453
00:32:08,751 --> 00:32:12,312
女人走路时会把手放在侧边吗？不会

454
00:32:12,422 --> 00:32:14,617
头发总是要照顾的

455
00:32:14,724 --> 00:32:18,751
我们的时刻到了
象我们行家才会准备好

456
00:32:18,861 --> 00:32:22,388
好的。偷窥没问题了
但如何走第二步呢?

457
00:32:22,498 --> 00:32:24,466
我想认识一位

458
00:32:28,871 --> 00:32:30,930
若你不能看出这两个问题的关系

459
00:32:31,040 --> 00:32:32,769
那我就帮不了你了

460
00:32:32,875 --> 00:32:35,275
- 等等. 别急. 好了
- 你以为我们在这里开玩笑?

461
00:32:35,378 --> 00:32:37,539
- 你认为这是玩笑?
- 不，那我在这里干什么?

462
00:32:37,647 --> 00:32:41,378
- 你必须使性显现出来
- 对不起

463
00:32:41,484 --> 00:32:43,418
- 在你脑中，你生活中
- 好的

464
00:32:43,519 --> 00:32:45,316
- 在你的精神中
- 对不起

465
00:32:49,525 --> 00:32:52,983
- 好的
- 什么? 不，我不吸烟

466
00:32:53,095 --> 00:32:54,722
最好学学

467
00:32:57,967 --> 00:33:00,834
- 好的
- 过来

468
00:33:09,545 --> 00:33:11,513
这里，在这里等

469
00:33:30,533 --> 00:33:32,865
呆在我这边

470
00:33:39,008 --> 00:33:40,475
对不起

471
00:33:45,648 --> 00:33:48,116
进去，走，快

472
00:33:56,526 --> 00:33:58,255
好的，我们进来了

473
00:33:59,328 --> 00:34:00,556
好

474
00:34:00,663 --> 00:34:03,860
首先，观察一下地形

475
00:34:09,105 --> 00:34:11,130
看起来仍是快乐时光

476
00:34:12,208 --> 00:34:15,473
有些喝酒的要走了 有很多人

477
00:34:15,578 --> 00:34:18,741
对我们实现目标不太理想
但也不是不可能

478
00:34:18,848 --> 00:34:21,408
我们要来个印象深刻的

479
00:34:21,517 --> 00:34:24,975
Send out a signal that back here
is the place to be.

480
00:34:25,087 --> 00:34:27,453
你要干什么？你说什么？

481
00:34:27,557 --> 00:34:29,582
管那么多?
你在把事情复杂化

482
00:34:29,692 --> 00:34:32,490
你愿意整晚坐在这里
想象那美妙的曲线

483
00:34:32,595 --> 00:34:34,119
那有什么好?

484
00:34:34,230 --> 00:34:39,224
保持联系，不和闹事者接触，看着

485
00:34:42,772 --> 00:34:45,741
嗨! 罗斯.

486
00:34:47,410 --> 00:34:49,139
嗨. 过来

487
00:34:49,245 --> 00:34:51,042
过来，过来，过来

488
00:34:57,219 --> 00:35:00,882
嗨. 你能--

489
00:35:00,990 --> 00:35:03,652
我能给你拿--

490
00:35:07,530 --> 00:35:10,863
- 嗨
- 尼克说你很美

491
00:35:12,435 --> 00:35:15,404
若他有此好品味
那他跟你在这里干什么?

492
00:35:16,505 --> 00:35:17,995
问得好. 尼克?

493
00:35:22,211 --> 00:35:26,011
- 因为他是我叔叔
- 你怎么了

494
00:35:29,452 --> 00:35:30,942
如此而已
没什么大不了的，是吧?

495
00:35:31,053 --> 00:35:33,681
现在她已经知道了我们在这里
我们就可以实施我们的策略了

496
00:35:33,789 --> 00:35:37,247
我去拿些饮料
我去那里时，你想个钓钩

497
00:35:38,194 --> 00:35:41,789
- 什么? 钓钩?
- 钓钩，线，一个好藉口

498
00:35:41,897 --> 00:35:45,833
现在起的每一分钟, 罗斯都会站在这里

499
00:35:45,935 --> 00:35:48,460
低头看着你，你只有一个机会

500
00:35:48,571 --> 00:35:52,200
或者把它扔出停车场
或者努力撑下去

501
00:35:53,376 --> 00:35:54,536
准备好

502
00:36:30,179 --> 00:36:32,306
噢，糟糕，噢，糟糕

503
00:36:34,650 --> 00:36:36,811
噢，糟糕，噢，糟糕

504
00:36:40,389 --> 00:36:43,916
你好, 尼克. 你的叔叔说
你有事情告诉我

505
00:36:44,026 --> 00:36:46,756
足以让我大吃一惊

506
00:36:48,864 --> 00:36:52,493
- 噢，是吗?
- 是的，这是他的原话

507
00:36:54,637 --> 00:36:56,730
他在开我们俩的玩笑?

508
00:36:59,909 --> 00:37:02,173
不，不 他是认真的

509
00:37:02,278 --> 00:37:04,838
我是说，他是... 很认真的

510
00:37:05,815 --> 00:37:07,806
- 今晚
- 对不起

511
00:37:10,553 --> 00:37:13,181
谢谢. 当我--

512
00:37:13,289 --> 00:37:15,257
- 今晚
- 对, 我是说...

513
00:37:16,726 --> 00:37:18,819
我是说今晚是一个--

514
00:37:18,928 --> 00:37:21,624
今晚对我来说是一个非常重要的夜晚

515
00:37:21,731 --> 00:37:24,359
我正要告诉她我们打的赌

516
00:37:24,467 --> 00:37:27,766
- 打赌?
- 呃. 我们赌1千元

517
00:37:31,207 --> 00:37:34,074
我可以让某个人...

518
00:37:34,176 --> 00:37:36,167
象是, 爱上我

519
00:37:39,315 --> 00:37:41,078
真的?

520
00:37:43,919 --> 00:37:47,252
爱. 那是个很难证明的东西
你说呢?

521
00:37:47,356 --> 00:37:49,756
不, 我想我们可以

522
00:37:49,859 --> 00:37:51,656
我相信我们可以

523
00:37:53,362 --> 00:37:54,727
1千美元?

524
00:37:54,830 --> 00:37:56,889
那并不能让人大吃一惊...

525
00:37:56,999 --> 00:38:00,400
但它也不是我今晚听到的最差的

526
00:38:01,637 --> 00:38:03,537
什么? 真的?

527
00:38:04,406 --> 00:38:06,966
干得好, 尼克

528
00:38:07,076 --> 00:38:09,806
- 那，值得坐下来吗?
- 我在等一个朋友

529
00:38:09,912 --> 00:38:11,812
她来后我让她评判

530
00:38:11,914 --> 00:38:14,610
让她来这里
赌注是现金

531
00:38:14,717 --> 00:38:18,517
若我们来，谁和谁坐呢?

532
00:38:18,621 --> 00:38:21,146
女士们选
自然选择

533
00:38:27,096 --> 00:38:29,462
我要和他坐

534
00:38:32,134 --> 00:38:34,102
好，好

535
00:38:46,982 --> 00:38:48,142
这是什么?

536
00:38:48,250 --> 00:38:51,048
浪姆酒. 我让他调淡些
我们还有很长的路要走

537
00:38:51,153 --> 00:38:54,020
- 我不喝酒
- 开什么玩笑? 喝一口

538
00:38:54,123 --> 00:38:57,559
- 我不让酒精进入我体内
- 你喝掉那饮料

539
00:38:59,328 --> 00:39:02,456
停止戒酒对你今晚的成功至关重要

540
00:39:02,565 --> 00:39:05,329
几千年来，酒是社交的润滑剂

541
00:39:05,434 --> 00:39:08,892
你想今晚坐在那里重新发明个车轮？

542
00:39:14,410 --> 00:39:19,370
好的。你做了件很好的事。你撒了谎

543
00:39:19,481 --> 00:39:22,507
你编了个故事
别让你那部分大脑停下

544
00:39:22,618 --> 00:39:26,110
我们使那些姑娘过来
你的本能会使你敞开交谈

545
00:39:26,222 --> 00:39:29,555
跟你说实话
战斗吧！让它妙趣不断

546
00:39:29,658 --> 00:39:33,059
利用你的新奇感
你是酒吧中16岁的孩子

547
00:39:33,162 --> 00:39:37,064
为什么? "我父亲是酒吧老板"
你只能活一个月

548
00:39:37,166 --> 00:39:39,930
你是个体验生活的演员--
我不知道，临时发挥吧

549
00:39:40,035 --> 00:39:42,435
接下来, 看看时间
现在几点?

550
00:39:42,538 --> 00:39:44,165
大约 7:02

551
00:39:44,273 --> 00:39:47,606
- 有没有医用报警手镯?
- 没, 那不是随便用的

552
00:39:47,710 --> 00:39:50,406
若我死得早 我就把尸体冷冻起来

553
00:39:57,686 --> 00:39:59,881
好了，不管它了
已经足够好

554
00:39:59,989 --> 00:40:02,389
现在7点

555
00:40:02,491 --> 00:40:06,018
到关门我们有9个小时，时间足够了

556
00:40:06,829 --> 00:40:08,922
看着我, 尼克
回答我这个问题

557
00:40:09,031 --> 00:40:10,760
好的

558
00:40:12,067 --> 00:40:15,628
谁是历史上最伟大的篮球队员?

559
00:40:17,139 --> 00:40:19,607
- 你是指任何时候?
- 行了，这很简单

560
00:40:20,976 --> 00:40:22,876
- 迈克尔 乔丹?
- 迈克尔 乔丹.

561
00:40:22,978 --> 00:40:25,276
为何他是最伟大的?
因为他为自己定了速度

562
00:40:25,381 --> 00:40:27,611
因为他总是在结束时露一手

563
00:40:27,716 --> 00:40:30,276
神奇的约翰逊称之为“决胜时刻”
看到那边的家伙没？

564
00:40:33,856 --> 00:40:36,620
这帮家伙自以为了不起

565
00:40:36,725 --> 00:40:38,454
相信我，现在还早

566
00:40:38,560 --> 00:40:40,755
我们离决胜时刻还要走好久
所以要注意

567
00:40:40,863 --> 00:40:42,922
- 好的
- 你说你要体验

568
00:40:43,032 --> 00:40:44,659
若你真的想体验

569
00:40:45,634 --> 00:40:49,229
你就该在这里忍受那帮家伙的折磨

570
00:40:49,338 --> 00:40:51,568
- 什么?
- 在好色与放纵之间

571
00:40:51,674 --> 00:40:55,075
有很大的区别

572
00:40:55,177 --> 00:40:58,669
我要体验. 好吗? 我上大学
你不认为那是折磨？

573
00:40:58,781 --> 00:41:00,942
这需要很多信息

574
00:41:01,050 --> 00:41:03,075
我在给你通往这王朝的钥匙

575
00:41:03,185 --> 00:41:04,447
我知道

576
00:41:04,553 --> 00:41:06,748
有多少和你同龄的有这种机会?

577
00:41:06,855 --> 00:41:07,822
是的

578
00:41:07,923 --> 00:41:10,687
那么，用手掐着脖子
喝了那冰水，那叫杜松子酒

579
00:41:10,793 --> 00:41:14,422
我不管你做什么
准备好事情来临时勇敢地面对

580
00:41:16,932 --> 00:41:21,096
那... 你多久, 呃...

581
00:41:22,237 --> 00:41:24,705
就是, 带个人跟你回家?

582
00:41:27,476 --> 00:41:29,034
每天晚上

583
00:41:29,812 --> 00:41:30,836
瞎说

584
00:41:30,946 --> 00:41:33,642
只因你没有性体验
并不代表我们其他人...

585
00:41:33,749 --> 00:41:35,546
都坐着玩纸牌

586
00:41:37,953 --> 00:41:39,477
什么纸牌?

587
00:41:41,457 --> 00:41:43,584
- 什么? 什么?
- 好了，好了

588
00:41:44,626 --> 00:41:47,026
他们来了. 看来好蠢
他们比我大一倍

589
00:41:47,129 --> 00:41:50,155
冠军拒绝失败
学学迈克

590
00:41:50,265 --> 00:41:52,825
我们如约来了
来喝一杯

591
00:41:52,935 --> 00:41:57,395
- 我是安德里亚, 这是索菲
- 我叫罗杰. 这是我侄子尼克

592
00:41:57,506 --> 00:41:59,838
- 嗨
- 他真的象是16岁

593
00:41:59,942 --> 00:42:01,842
- 我告诉你了
- 请坐

594
00:42:01,944 --> 00:42:03,912
你怎么进来这里的, 尼克?

595
00:42:04,013 --> 00:42:07,744
这问题你该问我的

596
00:42:07,850 --> 00:42:11,877
因为我们讨论过, 还有--

597
00:42:12,988 --> 00:42:14,114
不管那个了

598
00:42:14,223 --> 00:42:16,783
我在享受尼克带来的神秘的气氛

599
00:42:16,892 --> 00:42:19,417
- 大家干杯
- 我告诉了索菲你们的打赌

600
00:42:19,528 --> 00:42:20,995
她认为你太在意了

601
00:42:21,096 --> 00:42:22,654
1千美元是小事情

602
00:42:22,765 --> 00:42:25,359
他必须让人爱上他?

603
00:42:25,467 --> 00:42:28,027
- 一个女人
- 一个女人?

604
00:42:28,137 --> 00:42:31,334
必须是个女人吗?
若是有个男人喜欢上你呢?

605
00:42:32,875 --> 00:42:35,343
我想那也算，因为我们从没考虑性别

606
00:42:35,444 --> 00:42:39,210
如果尼克自愿进入那个洞洞
他就可以拿到钱

607
00:42:39,314 --> 00:42:41,839
- 你们在说什么?
- 我不知道

608
00:42:41,950 --> 00:42:45,886
- 我们在谈论什么?
- 在谈论女人

609
00:42:45,988 --> 00:42:49,446
特别是，欣赏女人曲线的愉悦

610
00:42:51,160 --> 00:42:53,651
想象一下，整天被人欣赏是什么感觉

611
00:42:53,762 --> 00:42:56,560
- 真的
- 你宁愿用假名?

612
00:42:56,665 --> 00:42:58,496
- 不用假名
- 不用假名

613
00:42:58,600 --> 00:43:01,626
我自己倒是喜欢 走在街上时

614
00:43:01,737 --> 00:43:04,137
有几百双眼睛爱抚我的...东西(?booty)
这种感觉

615
00:43:04,239 --> 00:43:05,672
男人常常这么说

616
00:43:05,774 --> 00:43:08,106
是的. "我喜欢被女人盯着看"

617
00:43:08,210 --> 00:43:09,370
我也会

618
00:43:09,478 --> 00:43:14,572
如果没有女人听进去你说的话
而只是盯着你的胸部或胯部看

619
00:43:14,681 --> 00:43:16,412
你会喜欢吗？

620
00:43:16,518 --> 00:43:18,782
如果那总是以性结束
我就不在乎

621
00:43:18,887 --> 00:43:21,981
你能忍受没人理你
不把你当回事吗？

622
00:43:22,091 --> 00:43:25,083
如果我有什么需要说
我会等到性交后说

623
00:43:26,762 --> 00:43:29,925
请不要说那么露骨的字眼

624
00:43:30,032 --> 00:43:32,830
想象一下
如果在所有人公交车上

625
00:43:32,935 --> 00:43:36,336
都有你的裸体巨照
会怎么样

626
00:43:36,438 --> 00:43:39,566
- 还有所有的宣传栏--
- 杂志

627
00:43:39,675 --> 00:43:41,939
说的好--
那只是你的身体

628
00:43:42,044 --> 00:43:46,071
有那么多的时间和金钱
花在迷恋、分析...

629
00:43:46,181 --> 00:43:49,344
努力想看一眼你的身体
很快变得好似...

630
00:43:49,451 --> 00:43:51,351
世界忘记了别的事情...

631
00:43:51,453 --> 00:43:53,512
最后你感到...

632
00:43:53,622 --> 00:43:56,318
与你的身体已分离
就象它不是你的

633
00:43:57,960 --> 00:44:01,020
如果你很在乎男性的凝视

634
00:44:01,130 --> 00:44:04,588
- 如果是用假名--
- 我从没说是用假名

635
00:44:04,700 --> 00:44:06,429
让我们打个比方，好吗?

636
00:44:06,535 --> 00:44:08,765
化化装，改头发样式

637
00:44:08,871 --> 00:44:12,898
穿上杀手的服装
在周五的晚上到类似这里的地方

638
00:44:13,008 --> 00:44:16,136
那就开始有意思了
因为在某个时刻...

639
00:44:16,245 --> 00:44:19,043
- 你开始分析男性的凝视
- 不是最好的方式

640
00:44:19,148 --> 00:44:21,708
男性的凝视. 麦迪逊大街

641
00:44:21,817 --> 00:44:23,717
不管是什么，都把你当回事

642
00:44:23,819 --> 00:44:27,152
你认为你能控制你找到的有魅力的人吗？

643
00:44:27,256 --> 00:44:29,952
- 当然能
- 我想不能，我可以证明给你

644
00:44:30,058 --> 00:44:35,360
随便问一个女人, "男人最迷人的是什么"

645
00:44:35,464 --> 00:44:37,898
- 她们会怎么回答呢?
- 幽默感

646
00:44:38,000 --> 00:44:40,468
- 幽默感
- 幽默感占多数，是无疑的

647
00:44:40,569 --> 00:44:45,029
然而, 若两个又穷又低微
按他们自己的规则比赛的

648
00:44:45,140 --> 00:44:49,600
摩托车手来到这里

649
00:44:49,711 --> 00:44:53,613
把我们这两个幽默的家伙痛打一顿

650
00:44:54,449 --> 00:44:56,917
邀请你去兜风，你就会去的
(膝盖发软weak at the knees)

651
00:44:57,019 --> 00:44:59,351
- 不可能
- 膝盖发软

652
00:44:59,454 --> 00:45:02,082
骑摩托的男人确实很性感

653
00:45:02,191 --> 00:45:04,318
- 谢谢你，看到了?
- 抱歉

654
00:45:04,426 --> 00:45:08,658
事实是，敏感、可怜惜惜、
in-touch-with-their-feelings guys...的男人

655
00:45:08,764 --> 00:45:10,698
让你作呕--
你对他们退避三舍

656
00:45:10,799 --> 00:45:13,427
比如说冰河时期
适者生存

657
00:45:13,535 --> 00:45:17,096
没有什么预报，没有说教理论

658
00:45:17,206 --> 00:45:20,437
最卑劣、长头发的混蛋
总是能赢

659
00:45:20,542 --> 00:45:22,339
我们现在换个话题

660
00:45:22,444 --> 00:45:27,211
你知道，这很有趣
这很有男子气

661
00:45:27,316 --> 00:45:30,046
我是说，你们男人是谈论主题.

662
00:45:30,152 --> 00:45:32,882
真的。为什么我给男人口交时--

663
00:45:32,988 --> 00:45:35,752
- 索菲!
- 不，没关系

664
00:45:35,857 --> 00:45:38,189
为什么在我自慰时...

665
00:45:38,293 --> 00:45:40,193
为什么那个男人总是坚持要看？

666
00:45:40,295 --> 00:45:43,230
你不能闭上眼睛体会感觉吗？

667
00:45:43,332 --> 00:45:45,527
这对女人并不是恭维

668
00:45:45,634 --> 00:45:48,364
我不敢肯定那是--
或许我们能帮忙

669
00:45:48,470 --> 00:45:52,270
尼克, 参与进来
一个女人在自慰时

670
00:45:53,542 --> 00:45:55,510
为什么我们要看?

671
00:45:58,981 --> 00:46:01,950
或许是确认那确实在发生?

672
00:46:03,085 --> 00:46:05,519
我同意
确认那不是我们的幻觉

673
00:46:05,621 --> 00:46:09,318
或许把它存档
以防下次迟迟到来

674
00:46:09,424 --> 00:46:12,882
两个极好答案
或许你可以好好解释一下存档?

675
00:46:12,995 --> 00:46:14,485
存档干什么?

676
00:46:16,398 --> 00:46:18,889
- 我不知道
- 说吧, 尼克

677
00:46:19,001 --> 00:46:21,469
我们终于谈到了熟悉的话题

678
00:46:21,570 --> 00:46:24,937
妈妈在厨房做果子冻

679
00:46:25,040 --> 00:46:27,167
- 你把自己关进浴室--
- 别出汗, 尼克

680
00:46:27,276 --> 00:46:29,176
我和三个兄弟一起长大

681
00:46:29,278 --> 00:46:32,076
厕所简直就是色情博物馆
栩栩如生

682
00:46:32,948 --> 00:46:34,916
你说的没错

683
00:46:35,017 --> 00:46:35,917
每当听到一个男人

684
00:46:36,019 --> 00:46:39,920
做女人做的有些性感的事情
就会让我作呕

685
00:46:40,022 --> 00:46:43,458
- 哪类的事情?
- 象撩撩头发

686
00:46:43,558 --> 00:46:45,856
站的姿势，可能是任何事情

687
00:46:45,961 --> 00:46:48,361
- 那有什么呢?
- 因为那没意思

688
00:46:48,463 --> 00:46:50,328
她无意那么做

689
00:46:50,432 --> 00:46:53,458
或许她只是模仿在电影上看到的

690
00:46:53,568 --> 00:46:55,593
那并不是她们的特有的

691
00:46:55,704 --> 00:46:58,832
所有的这些--撩头发、特殊习惯、警句

692
00:46:58,940 --> 00:47:02,671
综合到一起构成个性
所以它是真实的

693
00:47:02,778 --> 00:47:06,111
是的，但那只是外表
开始是不错

694
00:47:06,214 --> 00:47:07,943
你需要外表

695
00:47:08,050 --> 00:47:09,950
你需要，象，有理由去爱

696
00:47:10,052 --> 00:47:11,952
但你可以越过外表

697
00:47:12,054 --> 00:47:13,681
而明白那些小伎俩毫无意义

698
00:47:13,789 --> 00:47:16,883
我是说你被眼前的所吸引
故事结束

699
00:47:16,992 --> 00:47:18,220
好浪漫

700
00:47:19,828 --> 00:47:22,023
那要用多年的时间

701
00:47:22,130 --> 00:47:23,757
- 是吗?
- 我不能表达得准确...

702
00:47:23,865 --> 00:47:26,026
但象是她不能做什么

703
00:47:26,134 --> 00:47:29,035
她吸引你的方法都失去了作用

704
00:47:29,137 --> 00:47:31,128
然而你仍然爱她

705
00:47:31,239 --> 00:47:33,139
就象是演出已经结束...

706
00:47:33,241 --> 00:47:35,175
你发现了她隐藏的部分

707
00:47:35,277 --> 00:47:39,077
她仍然隐藏它
因为她认为那部分...

708
00:47:39,181 --> 00:47:42,480
会使你离开 或厌倦

709
00:47:42,584 --> 00:47:46,145
但你已知道那部分
你并没离开

710
00:47:47,189 --> 00:47:49,714
你甚至更爱她

711
00:47:54,463 --> 00:47:55,691
哇

712
00:47:55,797 --> 00:47:59,028
见过我侄子没?
他的名字是耶稣

713
00:47:59,134 --> 00:48:00,931
你多大了, 尼克?

714
00:48:01,036 --> 00:48:02,333
16岁

715
00:48:02,437 --> 00:48:05,964
坚强点, 索菲
1千元的赌注还在这里

716
00:48:06,074 --> 00:48:08,702
我们还限制一杯吗?

717
00:48:08,810 --> 00:48:11,836
- 我想可以多喝一杯
- 我同意

718
00:48:11,947 --> 00:48:14,177
很好
Scootch out of there, 索菲

719
00:48:14,282 --> 00:48:16,341
- 谁喝什么?
- 索菲知道我喜欢什么

720
00:48:16,451 --> 00:48:19,045
- 请来点冰水
- 好的，很可爱

721
00:48:19,154 --> 00:48:20,280
尼克?

722
00:48:20,389 --> 00:48:24,291
一个演员应该考虑抓住
单独和安德里亚在一起的机会

723
00:48:24,393 --> 00:48:27,089
安德里亚. 好
你们慢慢聊

724
00:48:37,139 --> 00:48:39,107
- 嗨
- 嗨

725
00:48:40,675 --> 00:48:42,870
- 你叔叔有什么事?
- 我不知道

726
00:48:42,978 --> 00:48:46,243
这是第一次我和他一起到社交场合

727
00:48:47,115 --> 00:48:50,209
- 你住在这城市吗?
- 我和妈妈住在俄亥俄州

728
00:48:51,153 --> 00:48:53,121
她和罗杰基本上不再说话

729
00:48:53,955 --> 00:48:55,217
俄亥俄?

730
00:48:56,258 --> 00:48:58,385
家里有女朋友吗?

731
00:48:59,494 --> 00:49:01,462
没有，现在没有

732
00:49:10,172 --> 00:49:13,835
尼克, 能帮我个忙吗?

733
00:49:13,942 --> 00:49:15,409
好的

734
00:49:25,756 --> 00:49:27,519
捡起来

735
00:49:30,862 --> 00:49:33,490
- 蛋白质可提神
- 我们换换, 安德里亚

736
00:49:33,598 --> 00:49:36,192
- 好的，我想该你了
- 好主意

737
00:49:36,302 --> 00:49:40,534
保持新鲜
帮助我们通过第二轮

738
00:49:40,639 --> 00:49:43,199
- 什么意思?
- 是第二轮谈话...

739
00:49:43,310 --> 00:49:46,643
常在要第二次酒时发生

740
00:49:46,746 --> 00:49:50,443
事实上, 尼克在告诉我
你和他妈妈的关系

741
00:49:50,551 --> 00:49:54,214
- 没什么秘密，她是我姐姐
- 你和她的关系如何

742
00:49:54,323 --> 00:49:57,349
不是你和她的关系
尼克说他们不答腔

743
00:49:57,459 --> 00:50:00,553
可怕
我是说，你需要你的家庭

744
00:50:00,663 --> 00:50:03,860
- 是的
- 你认为发生了什么, 尼克?

745
00:50:04,901 --> 00:50:08,166
我妈妈比罗杰大很多
大概差9岁

746
00:50:08,272 --> 00:50:10,536
你肯定很吃惊, 罗杰

747
00:50:10,641 --> 00:50:13,337
9岁的差距并不意味着不能怀孕

748
00:50:14,946 --> 00:50:17,813
但显然，我确实有些吃惊

749
00:50:17,916 --> 00:50:19,884
真的? 我不知道这事

750
00:50:19,986 --> 00:50:22,386
那并不能解释
为什么你与姐姐相处不好

751
00:50:22,488 --> 00:50:25,184
这么说吧
我们缺乏共同点

752
00:50:25,959 --> 00:50:29,395
我妈妈说，罗杰小的时候
他能为自己开脱任何麻烦

753
00:50:29,496 --> 00:50:31,623
他从没惹上麻烦
即使他被抓住

754
00:50:31,733 --> 00:50:35,999
- 她称他是"Roger Dodger"(鬼罗杰)
- 这对你太合适了
(dodger 躲闪者, 欺瞒者)

755
00:50:36,104 --> 00:50:39,403
口才好并没错
尼克遗传到了

756
00:50:39,508 --> 00:50:41,635
我想象爷爷，他几乎不说话

757
00:50:41,744 --> 00:50:44,269
但他一旦说话
每个人都侧耳倾听

758
00:50:44,381 --> 00:50:46,349
你知道，我爸爸就是那样

759
00:50:46,449 --> 00:50:49,077
区别在于 我爸爸所说的

760
00:50:49,185 --> 00:50:51,210
常常是些"再搞点伤回来"

761
00:50:51,322 --> 00:50:53,586
- 有其父必有其子?
- 不，有其女

762
00:50:53,691 --> 00:50:55,318
- 我搞到--
- 谁的女儿?

763
00:50:55,426 --> 00:50:57,951
- "有其女"你指什么？
- 开玩笑

764
00:50:58,063 --> 00:51:01,590
妈妈在洗衣篮里藏有酒
有好多年了

765
00:51:03,703 --> 00:51:05,227
- 噢，上帝, 尼克
- 那太糟了

766
00:51:05,338 --> 00:51:09,035
她不是象落魄的人
她只是-- 你叫它什么?

767
00:51:09,143 --> 00:51:11,077
- 超常运作
- 是. 那就是苏珊

768
00:51:11,178 --> 00:51:13,146
她总是超常运转

769
00:51:13,247 --> 00:51:17,013
- 她真的很高尚，你知道？
- 你怎能开那玩笑?

770
00:51:17,118 --> 00:51:19,643
你能开任何事的玩笑
只要它和你有关

771
00:51:19,754 --> 00:51:21,745
这是基本的人权
对不对, 尼克?

772
00:51:23,092 --> 00:51:25,754
我想那是合乎宪法的

773
00:51:25,861 --> 00:51:29,160
言论自由、玩笑自由

774
00:51:29,266 --> 00:51:31,530
你知道什么?
我要去洗手间

775
00:51:31,635 --> 00:51:33,967
我们让男士们讨论这些新发现

776
00:51:34,072 --> 00:51:35,630
- 好主意
- 我不-- 好吧

777
00:51:35,740 --> 00:51:37,207
好吧

778
00:51:39,478 --> 00:51:41,446
小心，我们在等

779
00:51:43,248 --> 00:51:45,148
你今晚不想和人性交吗？

780
00:51:45,250 --> 00:51:46,877
我认为你想了解

781
00:51:46,987 --> 00:51:48,887
想来这里学习的不是我

782
00:51:48,989 --> 00:51:50,889
对大多数人来说
这里的话是说过就忘

783
00:51:50,991 --> 00:51:52,822
- 好吗?
- 我们在谈论爷爷

784
00:51:52,927 --> 00:51:54,827
- 我想--
- 你以为有资格加入...

785
00:51:54,929 --> 00:51:56,829
并且解释清楚那个特殊的话题吗?

786
00:51:56,931 --> 00:51:58,330
是的，我很抱歉

787
00:51:58,433 --> 00:52:01,493
你现在是那个话题的专家了
但很不适宜

788
00:52:01,603 --> 00:52:03,503
我不想冷场

789
00:52:03,605 --> 00:52:05,869
有4个人在这里

790
00:52:05,975 --> 00:52:08,034
把它想象成桥牌

791
00:52:10,146 --> 00:52:13,411
在桥牌中, 2人一组4人一桌

792
00:52:13,517 --> 00:52:15,417
如果你想让别人

793
00:52:15,519 --> 00:52:17,419
选择你进行游戏

794
00:52:17,522 --> 00:52:19,888
你就必须学会
领会同伴的意图

795
00:52:19,991 --> 00:52:22,960
很明显 我今晚不想谈家里的事

796
00:52:23,996 --> 00:52:25,224
在这之前...

797
00:52:25,331 --> 00:52:28,164
我们在听索菲讲她自己口交的事

798
00:52:28,267 --> 00:52:32,897
你不认为那比你妈妈的洗衣篮更有趣吗？

799
00:52:34,808 --> 00:52:37,606
尽你所能把话题扯回到

800
00:52:37,712 --> 00:52:40,112
有关性的方面

801
00:52:40,214 --> 00:52:43,672
记得吗, 今晚的主要目的?

802
00:52:43,786 --> 00:52:45,481
别让我采用“失败保险”

803
00:52:47,389 --> 00:52:50,187
- 你去哪里?
- 对不起

804
00:52:50,293 --> 00:52:52,284
不，坏主意

805
00:52:52,395 --> 00:52:53,794
噢，上帝

806
00:53:23,898 --> 00:53:25,991
那里没事吧?

807
00:53:26,102 --> 00:53:28,002
不，你站那里我尿不出来

808
00:53:28,104 --> 00:53:31,005
- 为什么?
- 就是不能。出去

809
00:53:31,107 --> 00:53:33,803
有个害羞的膀胱不能安度一生, 尼克

810
00:53:33,910 --> 00:53:35,878
你要在酒吧呆下去了

811
00:53:35,979 --> 00:53:37,947
大部分酒吧有象这样休息室

812
00:53:39,317 --> 00:53:41,615
好，那你尿
你先尿

813
00:53:41,719 --> 00:53:44,688
我不用，我只是来洗手

814
00:53:46,391 --> 00:53:47,824
算了吧

815
00:53:52,398 --> 00:53:55,162
- 走吧，孩子
- 不，我和别人来的

816
00:53:56,337 --> 00:53:58,771
罗杰叔叔, 你能告诉他吗？
他不--

817
00:53:58,873 --> 00:54:01,239
- 你怎么?
- 不，我不认识他

818
00:54:01,342 --> 00:54:03,242
- 该睡觉了孩子，走吧
- 罗杰叔叔

819
00:54:03,345 --> 00:54:05,313
- 快点，孩子，出去
- 你能--

820
00:54:06,181 --> 00:54:08,979
他是我-- 罗杰叔叔!
真的，回去吧

821
00:54:10,586 --> 00:54:12,451
你瞧，我是个演员
我在体验生活

822
00:54:12,555 --> 00:54:14,523
- 祝你好运
- 好的

823
00:54:44,859 --> 00:54:46,486
- 你没事?
- 噢，嗨

824
00:54:46,595 --> 00:54:49,564
我想我应该等等再用洗手间

825
00:54:49,665 --> 00:54:53,362
在这里闲聊的新鲜感已经消失

826
00:54:53,469 --> 00:54:56,097
我建议带瓶酒去找个景色好的地方

827
00:55:00,010 --> 00:55:03,309
- 好的，我们去找景色
- 去找景色，女士们

828
00:55:23,036 --> 00:55:25,334
- 那差不多
- 好了，谢谢

829
00:55:25,440 --> 00:55:27,704
- 这是最好的
- 好了，一点点就行

830
00:55:27,809 --> 00:55:28,935
谢谢

831
00:55:29,043 --> 00:55:31,671
来一点，好了，好了

832
00:55:33,649 --> 00:55:35,446
- 你喜欢酒吗?
- 喜欢

833
00:55:35,551 --> 00:55:37,542
它使我胸腔温暖

834
00:55:37,654 --> 00:55:40,248
- 罗杰, 你教坏的
- 是，是我

835
00:55:40,357 --> 00:55:42,757
- 酒精, 道德放纵的女人
- 还有赌博

836
00:55:42,860 --> 00:55:44,327
对，赌博

837
00:55:44,428 --> 00:55:46,623
尼克没有抱怨

838
00:55:46,731 --> 00:55:49,029
尽管我有话谈放纵的女人

839
00:55:50,102 --> 00:55:53,196
今晚的谈话到现在有点沉闷

840
00:55:54,172 --> 00:55:57,539
除了索菲的“口”头描述

841
00:55:57,644 --> 00:55:58,736
住嘴

842
00:55:58,845 --> 00:56:02,611
若让尼克听听女士对性的领悟
对他会有好处的

843
00:56:02,716 --> 00:56:04,741
- 你同意吗?
- 上帝

844
00:56:05,519 --> 00:56:07,180
从哪儿开始?

845
00:56:07,289 --> 00:56:09,257
尼克起个头吧. 尼克?

846
00:56:13,696 --> 00:56:15,163
开始吧

847
00:56:15,865 --> 00:56:17,765
问吧，你想问什么都行

848
00:56:17,867 --> 00:56:19,061
要有趣些

849
00:56:19,168 --> 00:56:20,465
好的

850
00:56:23,540 --> 00:56:25,974
我很想知道你们的第一次是怎样的

851
00:56:27,011 --> 00:56:29,411
- 这是第一个问题?
- 这是个好问题

852
00:56:29,514 --> 00:56:30,811
谢谢

853
00:56:32,117 --> 00:56:33,584
我先讲

854
00:56:36,855 --> 00:56:40,018
- 那是我在三年级的时候
- 高中还是大学?

855
00:56:41,394 --> 00:56:42,952
高中

856
00:56:43,063 --> 00:56:45,827
他叫 Bobby Rushton,
我们甚至没有约会

857
00:56:45,933 --> 00:56:49,425
只是有一天我带他出去
心想就是他了

858
00:56:49,537 --> 00:56:51,835
- 为什么选他?
- 幽默感?

859
00:56:52,874 --> 00:56:55,775
哈哈，我记得他很有趣，但...

860
00:56:55,877 --> 00:56:58,675
不仅仅是

861
00:56:58,781 --> 00:57:02,080
It was like this vibe.

862
00:57:02,185 --> 00:57:04,153
我知道他会很好

863
00:57:04,254 --> 00:57:07,849
他不是很受欢迎
我想他不会向他的朋友吹嘘我的事

864
00:57:07,958 --> 00:57:10,688
- 有点意思
- 他没有

865
00:57:10,795 --> 00:57:12,763
他和我一样紧张

866
00:57:13,999 --> 00:57:16,058
这是我选择他的部分理由

867
00:57:16,168 --> 00:57:19,365
因为我想有些控制权

868
00:57:19,472 --> 00:57:22,441
- 你明白?
- 你也是他的第一个吗?

869
00:57:22,542 --> 00:57:25,705
是的。事实上，我和他一起买的避孕套

870
00:57:25,812 --> 00:57:27,837
我们一直骑车穿过城镇

871
00:57:27,949 --> 00:57:30,440
因为我们怕有人看到我们

872
00:57:30,551 --> 00:57:32,985
- 为这事我们计划了一个月
- 我喜欢这个故事

873
00:57:33,821 --> 00:57:37,257
- 是的
- 那, 在哪里?

874
00:57:38,927 --> 00:57:41,452
在我家，我的房间

875
00:57:42,298 --> 00:57:44,266
我父母外出过周末

876
00:57:44,367 --> 00:57:48,030
- 你流血了?
- 正常，不很多

877
00:57:48,139 --> 00:57:50,107
等等，那第一次疼吗?

878
00:57:51,909 --> 00:57:54,241
刚开始
(first second 第一秒)

879
00:57:55,781 --> 00:57:57,749
确实疼

880
00:57:58,918 --> 00:58:01,716
之后，一切都不同了

881
00:58:01,821 --> 00:58:05,882
明白? 就象对你的身体的新感觉

882
00:58:05,993 --> 00:58:07,426
他怎么样?

883
00:58:08,662 --> 00:58:11,688
- 几秒就结束?
- 不是! 他象马一样继续干

884
00:58:11,800 --> 00:58:13,995
实际上我不得不让他快点

885
00:58:14,102 --> 00:58:15,399
哇!

886
00:58:15,503 --> 00:58:19,735
他承认了之前象疯了般手淫
所以他不想--

887
00:58:19,842 --> 00:58:23,073
- 象他没做过那事
- 不, 听起来他是个好男孩

888
00:58:23,179 --> 00:58:25,443
- 听起来他象是美梦成真
- 他是个好男孩

889
00:58:25,549 --> 00:58:27,983
他现在是个警察
他有4个孩子

890
00:58:28,085 --> 00:58:30,519
过早的性生活无疑是羞辱

891
00:58:30,621 --> 00:58:34,580
自我辩解
我的第一次很奇妙

892
00:58:34,692 --> 00:58:36,387
是吗?

893
00:58:36,495 --> 00:58:38,463
让我大胆地猜猜

894
00:58:39,665 --> 00:58:41,860
- 一个老绅士
- 你对了

895
00:58:41,967 --> 00:58:43,434
- 已婚?
- 又对了

896
00:58:44,637 --> 00:58:46,070
你有多大?

897
00:58:46,172 --> 00:58:48,572
19岁，刚上大学

898
00:58:48,676 --> 00:58:51,474
我想你没花多少时间和同室交流

899
00:58:51,579 --> 00:58:55,413
对，对，我甚至不记得她们的长相

900
00:58:56,551 --> 00:58:58,348
那发生了什么?

901
00:58:59,688 --> 00:59:03,522
不管相不相
他最终选择了他老婆

902
00:59:04,627 --> 00:59:06,185
有多大的可能性?

903
00:59:06,295 --> 00:59:08,263
当你知道他不会离开她时
你怎么办?

904
00:59:08,365 --> 00:59:11,596
好了, 尼克, 我最终知道了...

905
00:59:11,702 --> 00:59:13,670
我发誓不再重复错误

906
00:59:13,771 --> 00:59:16,797
- 结果怎么样?
- 几个月就不行了

907
00:59:16,908 --> 00:59:18,341
- 哦
- 索菲--

908
00:59:18,443 --> 00:59:20,673
- 我没说什么
- 我该怎么办？他们都结婚了

909
00:59:20,779 --> 00:59:22,940
我发誓不再唠叨，好吗

910
00:59:23,048 --> 00:59:25,312
你，高手
告诉我们你的第一次

911
00:59:28,355 --> 00:59:32,121
实际上，我觉得尼克的故事
会更有趣. 尼克?

912
00:59:33,161 --> 00:59:35,459
- 我想听听
- 是的

913
00:59:38,065 --> 00:59:39,794
尼古拉斯?

914
00:59:39,902 --> 00:59:43,030
嗯, 这很难承认，但...

915
00:59:44,741 --> 00:59:47,369
我没有性经验

916
00:59:52,116 --> 00:59:53,913
你是处男?

917
00:59:55,152 --> 00:59:56,380
是的

918
01:00:01,193 --> 01:00:03,491
那好性感，是不是？

919
01:00:03,596 --> 01:00:05,496
- 那很剌激
- 真的?

920
01:00:05,598 --> 01:00:07,259
- 是的
- 你有女朋友吗?

921
01:00:07,366 --> 01:00:09,960
- 从来没有
- 吻过女孩吗?

922
01:00:10,070 --> 01:00:12,971
是的，高中时有几次玩
truth or dare 游戏

923
01:00:13,073 --> 01:00:15,667
但那不象是真的接吻

924
01:00:15,777 --> 01:00:17,108
不用舌头?

925
01:00:17,879 --> 01:00:21,042
我想是, 那还不止
她们很生硬

926
01:00:21,149 --> 01:00:23,049
不是我想象的那样

927
01:00:23,152 --> 01:00:25,450
尼克, 过来一会

928
01:00:29,192 --> 01:00:30,887
噢，上帝

929
01:00:54,054 --> 01:00:56,318
不要爱上我或者什么，好吗?

930
01:00:58,192 --> 01:01:00,353
那只是帮你度过少年期

931
01:01:00,462 --> 01:01:02,089
好的

932
01:01:05,401 --> 01:01:07,426
我情不自禁 想得到你的初吻

933
01:01:07,536 --> 01:01:08,764
那很好

934
01:01:08,871 --> 01:01:12,136
永远永远
你都是他的初吻

935
01:01:13,010 --> 01:01:15,103
- 别靠近我
- 行了，为了对称

936
01:01:15,212 --> 01:01:17,180
不，别想. 尼克

937
01:01:17,982 --> 01:01:20,746
- 你什么感觉?
- 我的心跳得很快

938
01:01:20,852 --> 01:01:23,320
- 他知道怎么回答
- 他吻得好吗?

939
01:01:23,421 --> 01:01:26,254
噢，他会让人伤心的

940
01:01:27,092 --> 01:01:28,821
下边那个怎么样, 尼克?

941
01:01:28,927 --> 01:01:31,088
有没有挺起来?

942
01:01:31,197 --> 01:01:33,859
别烦他
你干嘛，风流浪子?

943
01:01:33,967 --> 01:01:35,594
- 没什么
- 真的?

944
01:01:35,702 --> 01:01:37,329
- 是的
- 那好

945
01:01:37,438 --> 01:01:40,805
我承认，我结婚了
我把戒指放在皮夹里了

946
01:01:40,908 --> 01:01:42,876
结婚了也不行

947
01:01:47,516 --> 01:01:48,983
好，好

948
01:01:51,754 --> 01:01:52,812
那么, 尼克

949
01:01:52,922 --> 01:01:56,187
用点时间把这个归档以后用
你明白我的的意思吗？

950
01:01:57,461 --> 01:01:58,519
想想吧, 索菲

951
01:01:59,463 --> 01:02:02,864
在未来的6个月中
尼克每次遗精，都会想到你

952
01:02:02,967 --> 01:02:04,832
- 别那么卑鄙
- 我不会那么做

953
01:02:04,936 --> 01:02:07,336
没错
好了，我没结婚

954
01:02:07,440 --> 01:02:09,499
重要的是得不到感情，明白吗?

955
01:02:09,608 --> 01:02:11,576
- 那就是你所寻找的
- 我要走了

956
01:02:13,847 --> 01:02:16,315
索菲, 你还没有给年轻的尼古拉斯...

957
01:02:16,416 --> 01:02:19,408
特殊印象
帮他进入太虚幻境

958
01:02:20,655 --> 01:02:22,555
去你的, 罗杰
你今晚有地方去吗?

959
01:02:22,657 --> 01:02:25,091
- 他和我在一起
- 你可跟我们走

960
01:02:25,193 --> 01:02:28,856
他跟我走
除非你做些有益的事

961
01:02:28,964 --> 01:02:31,364
象 帮尼克进入高潮
怎么样, 索菲?

962
01:02:31,467 --> 01:02:34,561
- 该摆脱你叔叔了
- 你好恶心。我们走

963
01:02:34,671 --> 01:02:36,161
- 你小心些
- 安德里亚?

964
01:02:36,272 --> 01:02:37,830
- 噢, 恶心
- 去你的

965
01:02:37,941 --> 01:02:39,772
女士们? 我--

966
01:02:40,511 --> 01:02:42,411
他说什么了吗?

967
01:02:42,513 --> 01:02:43,844
混蛋!

968
01:02:45,016 --> 01:02:47,883
不. 我不要--
这是你的机会

969
01:02:47,986 --> 01:02:49,886
你在说什么?
为何你那说那些?

970
01:02:49,988 --> 01:02:51,683
好警察、坏警察

971
01:02:51,791 --> 01:02:54,225
我撒下了种子
现在去完成它，好吗?

972
01:02:54,327 --> 01:02:56,318
- 我不能去--
- 你以为能再找到更好的机会?

973
01:02:56,429 --> 01:02:58,761
去，看在上帝的份上
记住主要目的

974
01:02:58,866 --> 01:03:00,299
去，去，去!

975
01:03:11,080 --> 01:03:13,048
跑, 尼克, 跑

976
01:03:20,891 --> 01:03:22,222
索菲!

977
01:03:23,628 --> 01:03:26,995
嗨, 索菲. 对不起

978
01:03:28,032 --> 01:03:30,432
没关系的
他是个怪人不是你的错

979
01:03:30,536 --> 01:03:34,063
我知道。我希望
不象这样子结束

980
01:03:35,542 --> 01:03:37,169
我们要走了

981
01:03:38,044 --> 01:03:40,410
我建议你取消打赌 回家

982
01:03:41,215 --> 01:03:43,308
打赌的事是胡绉的

983
01:03:44,985 --> 01:03:46,282
我知道

984
01:03:48,390 --> 01:03:50,187
别太当回事，好吗?

985
01:03:50,292 --> 01:03:52,817
我想我们--

986
01:03:54,363 --> 01:03:56,854
别糟蹋我们今晚度过的好时光

987
01:03:57,800 --> 01:03:59,427
你明白?

988
01:04:05,710 --> 01:04:07,678
用这个记住我

989
01:04:17,156 --> 01:04:19,056
保重, 尼克

990
01:04:19,159 --> 01:04:21,127
我们需要象你这样的男人

991
01:04:47,224 --> 01:04:48,748
嗨

992
01:04:48,826 --> 01:04:49,918
怎么回事?

993
01:04:50,028 --> 01:04:51,825
什么？什么都没发生

994
01:04:52,864 --> 01:04:53,888
那你完了

995
01:04:53,999 --> 01:04:55,990
她并不是想做那事
我不能请求她

996
01:04:56,102 --> 01:04:58,798
- 你今晚想和索菲过夜?
- 很显然，她不是--

997
01:04:58,905 --> 01:05:01,738
你今晚想和索菲性交吗？

998
01:05:04,878 --> 01:05:07,346
- 不
- 那我就说：你完了

999
01:05:07,447 --> 01:05:10,610
你应该学会如何完成
谁都能半道回家

1000
01:05:14,557 --> 01:05:16,752
我们改按B计划行动. 嗨!

1001
01:05:18,561 --> 01:05:21,189
我想 改变一下环境
会改善你的运气

1002
01:05:40,186 --> 01:05:42,211
等等! 等等! 停下!

1003
01:06:26,406 --> 01:06:28,897
听我的
等在这里直到进去

1004
01:06:29,010 --> 01:06:30,978
- 我们去哪里?
- 完成

1005
01:06:33,914 --> 01:06:37,008
- 我们去个晚会，走
- 谁的晚会?

1006
01:06:39,388 --> 01:06:41,879
Kao! 那里
那里

1007
01:06:43,326 --> 01:06:45,419
看看这个
漂亮的玻璃制品

1008
01:07:00,646 --> 01:07:02,045
哇，哇

1009
01:07:06,019 --> 01:07:07,316
为什么跑?

1010
01:07:07,421 --> 01:07:09,321
看门人脾气不好

1011
01:07:09,423 --> 01:07:12,085
听着，上面是另一种精力充沛的人

1012
01:07:12,193 --> 01:07:13,421
机灵点

1013
01:07:13,528 --> 01:07:16,088
不要和任何人讲话
那定是个集会杀手

1014
01:07:16,197 --> 01:07:19,030
保持四处转
不要藏在洗手间

1015
01:07:19,802 --> 01:07:21,827
到了。嗨

1016
01:07:25,275 --> 01:07:27,436
- 看看这是谁
- 嗨, 克莉丝. 你好吗?

1017
01:07:27,544 --> 01:07:29,444
这是我侄子尼克.
克莉丝

1018
01:07:29,546 --> 01:07:31,639
- 你好?
- 你好?

1019
01:07:36,787 --> 01:07:39,779
等等，我可用用洗手间吗?

1020
01:07:39,891 --> 01:07:41,859
- 什么?
- 用洗手间?

1021
01:07:41,960 --> 01:07:43,018
什么?

1022
01:07:43,963 --> 01:07:45,931
我整晚都在试图把她摇醒

1023
01:07:47,900 --> 01:07:49,367
这是多诺万

1024
01:07:49,470 --> 01:07:51,904
这里没有我同龄人

1025
01:07:52,005 --> 01:07:54,303
你以为我们去哪里
少年舞会?

1026
01:07:55,643 --> 01:07:57,167
我想我喝醉了

1027
01:07:59,748 --> 01:08:00,874
过来

1028
01:08:03,586 --> 01:08:05,918
尼克. 你知道我们在哪里吗?

1029
01:08:07,189 --> 01:08:09,885
- 我想你说过格林威治街
- 我们身处 决胜时刻

1030
01:08:09,993 --> 01:08:12,325
- 对，决胜时刻
- 是不是?

1031
01:08:12,429 --> 01:08:14,989
这比在酒吧难发现

1032
01:08:15,099 --> 01:08:17,067
但概念是一样的

1033
01:08:18,870 --> 01:08:21,134
当晚会过了高潮

1034
01:08:21,240 --> 01:08:24,266
就会有一个难以置信的时刻

1035
01:08:25,344 --> 01:08:28,404
就象是魔法,
突然间这里所有的人

1036
01:08:28,515 --> 01:08:30,483
都意识到了这个时刻

1037
01:08:30,583 --> 01:08:33,746
就在那个时刻
恐惧来临

1038
01:08:34,789 --> 01:08:37,849
- 什么恐惧?
- 对空房子的恐惧

1039
01:08:38,893 --> 01:08:40,087
噢，是的

1040
01:08:40,195 --> 01:08:42,425
那是大多数人所不能忍受的

1041
01:08:43,365 --> 01:08:46,596
绝望象雾一般爬进房间

1042
01:08:46,702 --> 01:08:49,535
眼睛开始焦急地搜索人群

1043
01:08:49,639 --> 01:08:52,972
准则戏剧般地放低了
我是说，很明显地

1044
01:08:53,877 --> 01:08:56,004
- 明白我所说的话吗?
- 不是很懂

1045
01:08:59,250 --> 01:09:02,708
我说的是,
你在这里完成真正的性交, 尼克

1046
01:09:05,958 --> 01:09:09,758
这是分出真正冠军的时刻

1047
01:09:09,862 --> 01:09:11,989
还记得你请我帮助的理由吗?

1048
01:09:12,799 --> 01:09:14,061
主要目标?

1049
01:09:14,167 --> 01:09:16,135
- 是的
- 那就让我帮你...

1050
01:09:16,236 --> 01:09:18,033
完成它

1051
01:09:29,819 --> 01:09:32,083
好的. 然后呢

1052
01:09:32,188 --> 01:09:35,214
我们要看看喝酒的是谁

1053
01:09:35,326 --> 01:09:38,159
每个晚会都需要一个开路车、一个野兔

1054
01:09:39,230 --> 01:09:42,358
要不停地寻找
比别人多喝两杯的女孩

1055
01:09:42,467 --> 01:09:44,025
怎么找?

1056
01:09:44,135 --> 01:09:46,535
倾听不适宜的大笑

1057
01:09:46,638 --> 01:09:48,868
在人群中搜索洒酒的人

1058
01:09:48,975 --> 01:09:52,672
在舞池中看谁线路舞错

1059
01:09:52,778 --> 01:09:54,746
他们怎么了?
他们应该醉了

1060
01:09:58,886 --> 01:10:00,183
下午好

1061
01:10:01,723 --> 01:10:05,625
上帝, 真不好意思
我不知是怎么搞的

1062
01:10:05,727 --> 01:10:08,355
非常抱歉
对不起

1063
01:10:08,464 --> 01:10:09,761
嗨, 堂娜

1064
01:10:11,233 --> 01:10:12,996
- 嗨
- 你怎么样?

1065
01:10:13,103 --> 01:10:14,730
- 还好
- 很好，听着

1066
01:10:14,838 --> 01:10:16,738
这是我的侄子
我想介绍一下. 尼克.

1067
01:10:16,840 --> 01:10:18,933
- 嗨
- 之前我在办公室见过你

1068
01:10:19,043 --> 01:10:21,136
嗨, 尼克. 堂娜.

1069
01:10:21,245 --> 01:10:23,713
- 高兴见到你
- 我也是

1070
01:10:25,651 --> 01:10:28,279
- 罗杰带你去城里看看?
- 是，差不多

1071
01:10:29,154 --> 01:10:30,644
尼克的拜访

1072
01:10:30,756 --> 01:10:33,054
为何不告诉堂娜我们打的赌呢

1073
01:10:33,159 --> 01:10:34,786
- 待会见
- 呃? 等等

1074
01:10:35,662 --> 01:10:39,029
什么打赌?
他让你参与了什么?

1075
01:10:39,133 --> 01:10:41,567
- 没什么，真的
- 这是什么?

1076
01:10:41,669 --> 01:10:43,603
那呀. 我都不知道

1077
01:10:43,705 --> 01:10:45,002
- 很可爱
- 谢谢

1078
01:10:45,106 --> 01:10:46,903
我都没用过它

1079
01:10:47,008 --> 01:10:49,442
80，刺激，80度

1080
01:10:49,544 --> 01:10:51,739
是刺激，是的

1081
01:10:54,250 --> 01:10:58,619
我们打赌看我是否在今晚
能让某个人爱上我

1082
01:10:58,722 --> 01:11:00,019
哇

1083
01:11:00,724 --> 01:11:03,090
- 赌多少?
- 1千元

1084
01:11:04,762 --> 01:11:06,389
算了吧

1085
01:11:07,865 --> 01:11:09,833
那，现在进展怎么样?

1086
01:11:11,737 --> 01:11:13,796
对不起
谢谢

1087
01:11:14,841 --> 01:11:16,741
谢谢，干杯

1088
01:11:16,843 --> 01:11:18,037
好

1089
01:11:19,112 --> 01:11:20,875
为爱

1090
01:11:34,297 --> 01:11:36,288
你好

1091
01:11:36,399 --> 01:11:40,096
你不是那个声名狼籍的的罗杰·斯温森吧？
我听了不少你的事情

1092
01:11:40,204 --> 01:11:41,432
是我，是的

1093
01:11:41,538 --> 01:11:45,201
乔伊斯说她所有的撰稿人中
你最有趣

1094
01:11:45,309 --> 01:11:47,209
- 我是个暴笑者
- 她说过

1095
01:11:47,312 --> 01:11:49,576
- 我为何要说谎呢?
- 你叫什么?

1096
01:11:49,681 --> 01:11:51,808
抱歉，我还没介绍自己

1097
01:11:51,917 --> 01:11:54,818
我叫帕特夏. 我和乔伊斯是校友

1098
01:11:54,920 --> 01:11:57,013
高兴认识你
帕特, 能帮我个忙吗?

1099
01:11:57,123 --> 01:11:59,250
当然，我可试试

1100
01:11:59,359 --> 01:12:02,328
看到角落里的那孩子吗？

1101
01:12:02,429 --> 01:12:04,397
- 是的
- 那是我侄子尼克

1102
01:12:04,499 --> 01:12:06,399
- 是吗，他很可爱
- 是的

1103
01:12:06,501 --> 01:12:08,628
- 他还是个处男
- 不!

1104
01:12:08,736 --> 01:12:11,261
- 向上帝发誓
- 可怜的孩子，他多大了?

1105
01:12:11,373 --> 01:12:12,863
16岁。听着

1106
01:12:12,975 --> 01:12:15,876
我和乔伊斯的相处告诉我
老一些的女人做爱象长耳大野兔

1107
01:12:15,978 --> 01:12:18,970
尼克的性欲正处在顶峰

1108
01:12:19,082 --> 01:12:20,982
所以我想
你们两个去做爱

1109
01:12:21,084 --> 01:12:22,984
就会象弗雷泽和阿里
(干得热火朝天，哈哈)

1110
01:12:23,087 --> 01:12:24,816
- 好吗?
- 你是不是有病

1111
01:12:24,922 --> 01:12:27,720
不，我是认真的
怎么样?

1112
01:12:27,825 --> 01:12:30,953
- 就象是...
- 我要走--

1113
01:12:31,063 --> 01:12:32,860
红十字会 或 --

1114
01:12:32,964 --> 01:12:35,023
好吧，高兴见到你

1115
01:12:51,953 --> 01:12:55,548
- 这里进行得怎么样?
- 嗨, 罗杰.

1116
01:12:55,658 --> 01:12:58,718
- 谁让你进来的?
- 谁让我进来的？你呀

1117
01:12:58,828 --> 01:13:00,125
什么?

1118
01:13:00,931 --> 01:13:03,195
你知道，尼克对女人最合适

1119
01:13:03,300 --> 01:13:05,268
你很幸运
你一直都陪你

1120
01:13:05,368 --> 01:13:07,632
是我，幸运的女人

1121
01:13:09,807 --> 01:13:13,334
实际上...我想我喝的太多了

1122
01:13:13,445 --> 01:13:15,572
想躺一会吗?

1123
01:13:15,681 --> 01:13:17,876
尼克, 尼克
好主意

1124
01:13:17,983 --> 01:13:20,645
好主意，来吧，亲爱的
我们找个地方让你躺躺

1125
01:13:20,753 --> 01:13:22,653
不，刚刚有点好玩

1126
01:13:22,755 --> 01:13:24,723
会好玩的

1127
01:13:29,396 --> 01:13:31,421
- 来吧
- 我们去哪里?

1128
01:13:31,533 --> 01:13:33,433
- 我们去
- 我们?

1129
01:13:33,535 --> 01:13:36,299
我们拐个弯就到了

1130
01:13:36,404 --> 01:13:38,372
- 到了
- 我忘吃东西了

1131
01:13:43,412 --> 01:13:45,573
尼克, 和我们一起
靠近些

1132
01:13:45,682 --> 01:13:47,081
- 好的
- 好

1133
01:13:47,184 --> 01:13:49,812
- 那我要--
- 很好

1134
01:13:51,089 --> 01:13:53,319
- 你没事吧?
- 你让你们单独一起

1135
01:13:53,424 --> 01:13:54,914
- 好的
- 不, 别走

1136
01:13:55,026 --> 01:13:57,517
- 你能做到，相信我
- 你在干什么?

1137
01:13:57,630 --> 01:13:59,154
等一会

1138
01:14:10,878 --> 01:14:12,846
我们要做什么?

1139
01:14:12,947 --> 01:14:16,815
我们 什么都不做

1140
01:14:25,028 --> 01:14:26,996
我去放哨, 好吗?

1141
01:14:28,933 --> 01:14:32,198
你要动作要快点。若我是你
我会2分钟搞定

1142
01:14:32,303 --> 01:14:34,567
你在说什么?
等等，罗杰叔叔--

1143
01:14:34,973 --> 01:14:36,270
我爱你

1144
01:14:40,279 --> 01:14:41,746
别走

1145
01:14:55,196 --> 01:14:56,663
噢，我来给你介绍

1146
01:14:56,764 --> 01:14:58,732
这是多诺万·莱门
克里斯托弗

1147
01:14:58,834 --> 01:15:00,563
我们的合作者

1148
01:15:00,669 --> 01:15:02,569
我想他们对你会有帮助

1149
01:15:02,671 --> 01:15:05,765
你告诉我你要来点离奇的，超现实的

1150
01:15:05,875 --> 01:15:08,400
嗨，嗨, 多诺万
你好，伙计?

1151
01:15:08,511 --> 01:15:10,843
- 罗杰，你好，伙计
- 你好?

1152
01:15:10,948 --> 01:15:12,245
嗨, 克莉丝

1153
01:15:13,517 --> 01:15:14,745
看看你们两人

1154
01:15:14,852 --> 01:15:18,219
看起来想是幸福的一对
你的秘密是什么？

1155
01:15:18,323 --> 01:15:20,883
抱歉，你明白他们所说的
蘸公司的墨水

1156
01:15:22,394 --> 01:15:25,761
- 我想是的
- 我知道他们说的什么

1157
01:15:28,034 --> 01:15:29,331
好的

1158
01:15:47,323 --> 01:15:48,790
看看你

1159
01:18:03,714 --> 01:18:05,181
去睡吧

1160
01:18:38,589 --> 01:18:40,318
我想我们在这里并不重要

1161
01:18:40,424 --> 01:18:42,654
说实话, 多诺万
面对时代的多重压力

1162
01:18:42,760 --> 01:18:44,785
要得到一种关系 就要坚强些

1163
01:18:44,896 --> 01:18:46,796
我不清楚
让我问个人. 克莉丝?

1164
01:18:46,898 --> 01:18:48,889
在我们还没机会意识到时

1165
01:18:49,001 --> 01:18:51,629
男人传统的作用已被抛弃，是不是？

1166
01:18:51,737 --> 01:18:55,298
我们的文化象是设计成了
使柔弱和幼儿化

1167
01:18:56,309 --> 01:18:58,470
- 这措词很强烈
- 怎么不去...

1168
01:18:58,578 --> 01:19:00,205
吃点什么?

1169
01:19:00,313 --> 01:19:02,611
特别是当女人比男人

1170
01:19:02,717 --> 01:19:05,083
大20岁时更是如此

1171
01:19:06,053 --> 01:19:08,385
- 罗杰!
- 大概是

1172
01:19:11,760 --> 01:19:13,728
若这个谈话发生在另一天--

1173
01:19:13,830 --> 01:19:16,355
你一生的目标就是羞辱你自己？

1174
01:19:16,466 --> 01:19:18,525
只是习惯罢了

1175
01:19:18,635 --> 01:19:20,660
我要你立刻离开

1176
01:19:20,771 --> 01:19:22,864
你让我离开 去哪里?

1177
01:19:23,908 --> 01:19:26,672
好好想想你在干什么

1178
01:19:26,778 --> 01:19:29,008
去哪里, 乔伊斯?
你想让我去哪里?

1179
01:19:32,151 --> 01:19:33,379
你完蛋了

1180
01:19:33,486 --> 01:19:35,886
你对我撒谎
你是个骗子

1181
01:19:35,988 --> 01:19:38,081
- 我要你离开
- 他是谁?

1182
01:19:38,190 --> 01:19:39,953
他到底是谁?

1183
01:19:40,060 --> 01:19:41,789
他到底是谁?

1184
01:19:41,895 --> 01:19:43,920
他是谁? 什么--

1185
01:19:47,335 --> 01:19:48,632
别太放肆

1186
01:19:50,171 --> 01:19:53,140
别以为这是你的地方，相信我

1187
01:19:54,843 --> 01:19:56,811
总有些人强过你

1188
01:19:57,681 --> 01:20:00,878
他们来了
嗨，伙计们，好运

1189
01:20:00,984 --> 01:20:02,781
抱歉，保重了

1190
01:20:03,955 --> 01:20:07,015
我拿一下衣服
保重

1191
01:20:07,124 --> 01:20:09,592
高兴见到你
谢谢, 乔伊斯! 再见!

1192
01:20:11,430 --> 01:20:12,897
发生了什么?

1193
01:20:12,998 --> 01:20:14,966
抱歉，对不起

1194
01:20:28,717 --> 01:20:30,776
这并不是我所希望的

1195
01:20:35,891 --> 01:20:38,052
那里发生了什么?
你在吼什么?

1196
01:20:38,160 --> 01:20:40,128
没关系
你怎么样?

1197
01:20:40,229 --> 01:20:42,129
- 你和堂娜入巷了?
- 没有

1198
01:20:42,232 --> 01:20:45,065
- 为何没有?
- 开玩笑？她睡着了!

1199
01:20:45,168 --> 01:20:50,071
尼克, 你今晚失去两次好机会了

1200
01:20:50,174 --> 01:20:52,699
你没有在“决胜时刻”好好表现

1201
01:20:52,810 --> 01:20:54,778
- 嗨!
- 那里发生了什么?

1202
01:20:54,880 --> 01:20:57,212
- 你喝醉了?
- 我要回家了

1203
01:20:57,316 --> 01:20:59,716
- 你要从哪里下车?
- 什么?

1204
01:20:59,819 --> 01:21:01,116
就这样?

1205
01:21:02,222 --> 01:21:05,191
我们过了一整晚
我想你可以放单飞了

1206
01:21:07,561 --> 01:21:10,189
- 你说有失败保险
- 什么失败保险？

1207
01:21:11,165 --> 01:21:13,224
在酒吧
你说有失败保险

1208
01:21:13,335 --> 01:21:14,461
我说过?

1209
01:21:16,338 --> 01:21:19,899
- 我想你不需要失败保险
- 不，我需要！停下

1210
01:21:20,009 --> 01:21:21,738
- 你肯定?
- 是，我肯定

1211
01:21:21,844 --> 01:21:24,176
我不想这样回家，好吗?

1212
01:21:24,281 --> 01:21:25,612
我肯定，好吗?

1213
01:21:28,018 --> 01:21:29,918
知道吗? 你是对的

1214
01:21:30,020 --> 01:21:33,148
为什么会失败?
我们要体面地失败
(?做最后一击)

1215
01:21:33,258 --> 01:21:35,726
- 对，象迈克尔 乔丹
- 对

1216
01:21:35,827 --> 01:21:38,796
那不是个好运动
但我欣赏你的热情 我们走吧

1217
01:22:11,168 --> 01:22:12,658
好的，谢谢

1218
01:22:30,157 --> 01:22:31,715
走，走，走，走

1219
01:23:27,356 --> 01:23:29,620
嗨，2个人

1220
01:23:29,726 --> 01:23:31,216
200元

1221
01:23:36,100 --> 01:23:37,692
1...2

1222
01:23:40,371 --> 01:23:42,805
- 他未成年?
- 我是演员，在体验生活

1223
01:24:59,130 --> 01:25:00,927
操我要100元

1224
01:25:19,019 --> 01:25:20,213
小费

1225
01:25:41,579 --> 01:25:42,637
来呀

1226
01:25:50,289 --> 01:25:52,348
等等，慢点

1227
01:25:55,929 --> 01:25:57,328
请慢点

1228
01:26:52,995 --> 01:26:55,589
- 我们回家
- 嗨! 嗨!

1229
01:26:55,698 --> 01:26:57,666
- 你干什么?
- 放松，放松

1230
01:26:57,767 --> 01:27:00,600
离开这里
妈的, 放开我!

1231
01:27:00,704 --> 01:27:03,400
妈的, 放开我!

1232
01:27:03,507 --> 01:27:06,203
- 放开我!
- 离开这里!

1233
01:27:06,311 --> 01:27:07,608
尼克!

1234
01:27:16,656 --> 01:27:17,987
尼克.

1235
01:27:23,530 --> 01:27:25,657
尼克, 别担心

1236
01:27:33,309 --> 01:27:35,334
没问题，行了!

1237
01:27:38,915 --> 01:27:39,973
尼克!

1238
01:27:43,019 --> 01:27:44,509
扫兴!

1239
01:27:45,890 --> 01:27:47,858
没事的

1240
01:27:48,960 --> 01:27:50,257
上帝

1241
01:28:15,758 --> 01:28:17,885
臭酒

1242
01:28:27,939 --> 01:28:29,236
走吧

1243
01:29:13,725 --> 01:29:15,056
过来

1244
01:29:16,127 --> 01:29:18,220
- 上帝
- 别告诉--

1245
01:29:18,331 --> 01:29:19,798
睡觉吧

1246
01:29:30,511 --> 01:29:31,808
好了

1247
01:31:09,093 --> 01:31:11,061
罗杰, 拿起电话

1248
01:31:11,161 --> 01:31:13,493
尼克走了
2天来没人见到他

1249
01:31:13,597 --> 01:31:16,566
我都发疯了
请你给我回电话

1250
01:31:44,166 --> 01:31:45,793
噢，上帝

1251
01:31:54,178 --> 01:31:55,645
那有咖啡

1252
01:31:58,417 --> 01:31:59,884
我不喝咖啡

1253
01:32:01,820 --> 01:32:02,787
哦

1254
01:32:07,527 --> 01:32:09,495
我一直站不稳

1255
01:32:10,563 --> 01:32:12,394
- 会过去的
- 是的

1256
01:32:14,802 --> 01:32:16,167
那, 尼克...

1257
01:32:16,938 --> 01:32:18,838
多给我讲讲哥伦比亚大学的事

1258
01:32:18,940 --> 01:32:20,908
你对大学有什么看法

1259
01:32:23,646 --> 01:32:26,206
我不知道
那不错

1260
01:32:28,617 --> 01:32:31,313
你有没有四处看看?

1261
01:32:31,421 --> 01:32:35,084
或许你可以告诉我
和你路途中所见的不同处

1262
01:32:41,365 --> 01:32:43,629
抱歉，我发疯了

1263
01:32:45,070 --> 01:32:46,537
你怎么了?

1264
01:32:48,208 --> 01:32:49,505
昨晚

1265
01:32:52,412 --> 01:32:55,438
你昨晚努力教我完成那事，而我--

1266
01:32:57,051 --> 01:32:59,952
我想都是我搞砸了，所以

1267
01:33:00,054 --> 01:33:02,318
所以我不该那么疯

1268
01:33:03,191 --> 01:33:06,354
我抱歉让你失望

1269
01:33:09,632 --> 01:33:11,099
呃，没事

1270
01:33:11,200 --> 01:33:13,532
谁都有过毫无所获的夜晚
我也经历过

1271
01:33:16,440 --> 01:33:18,340
你说过你每晚都有所获

1272
01:33:18,442 --> 01:33:20,342
我说过很多事情
听着, 尼克

1273
01:33:22,914 --> 01:33:24,814
打电话给你妈妈，好吗?

1274
01:33:24,916 --> 01:33:26,816
我肯定她在期待你的电话

1275
01:33:27,853 --> 01:33:29,582
算了吧，我回家就看到她了

1276
01:33:29,688 --> 01:33:31,656
打给她
快

1277
01:33:43,804 --> 01:33:45,772
你自己处理吧

1278
01:33:55,552 --> 01:33:57,520
我想我会在下个葬礼再见到你

1279
01:33:57,621 --> 01:33:58,849
怎么? 谁病了?

1280
01:33:59,723 --> 01:34:01,281
什么? 不, 我在开玩笑

1281
01:34:01,392 --> 01:34:02,620
我也是

1282
01:34:05,697 --> 01:34:07,597
好的
再见，罗杰叔叔

1283
01:34:07,699 --> 01:34:09,166
再见, 尼克

1284
01:34:17,711 --> 01:34:19,474
别谢我，我已得到了

1285
01:34:37,934 --> 01:34:40,664
去机场要多长时间?

1286
01:34:40,771 --> 01:34:43,137
- 大约一个半小时
- 好的

1287
01:35:59,696 --> 01:36:01,425
你今天见安吉拉了吗?

1288
01:36:01,532 --> 01:36:03,557
- 怎么了?
- 没胸

1289
01:36:07,072 --> 01:36:08,699
我对上帝发誓

1290
01:36:09,674 --> 01:36:12,575
那不健康，她老时胸部会耷拉下来

1291
01:36:12,677 --> 01:36:13,837
一边去吧

1292
01:36:13,946 --> 01:36:15,914
去告诉她, 尼克

1293
01:36:16,015 --> 01:36:17,243
什么?

1294
01:36:18,884 --> 01:36:20,249
去告诉她

1295
01:36:20,353 --> 01:36:22,116
对，或许她不知道

1296
01:36:22,222 --> 01:36:24,918
- 你这样做是帮她的忙
- 对

1297
01:36:25,025 --> 01:36:26,549
帮大忙

1298
01:36:26,661 --> 01:36:27,958
对

1299
01:36:57,363 --> 01:36:59,331
看看谁来了

1300
01:37:03,203 --> 01:37:04,670
女孩们

1301
01:37:06,006 --> 01:37:07,371
年轻女士

1302
01:37:10,178 --> 01:37:12,612
女性

1303
01:37:14,883 --> 01:37:17,249
雌性心脏在那...

1304
01:37:17,353 --> 01:37:19,082
紧绷绷的毛线衫下跳动

1305
01:37:19,188 --> 01:37:22,453
阴性血液在她们血管中流淌

1306
01:37:22,559 --> 01:37:26,154
鲜活可爱的女孩子们

1307
01:37:28,099 --> 01:37:31,068
你们这些小伙子
在青春期怎么应对这事呢？

1308
01:37:31,169 --> 01:37:32,932
我要大干

1309
01:37:33,037 --> 01:37:35,028
- 你要大干一场?
- 是的

1310
01:37:35,140 --> 01:37:36,835
他要用一根棍 打败她们

1311
01:37:36,942 --> 01:37:41,709
不幸的是，我不是在说"whack-off.com"

1312
01:37:41,815 --> 01:37:44,511
我在说这房间里的女孩

1313
01:37:44,617 --> 01:37:46,642
我说的是沟通

1314
01:37:46,754 --> 01:37:48,312
我在说 魅力

1315
01:37:48,422 --> 01:37:50,947
我是说从这个全男性的、
星际迷航式谈话

1316
01:37:52,593 --> 01:37:56,757
同性小团体中站出来

1317
01:37:58,033 --> 01:38:00,399
把自己介绍给那些女孩之一

1318
01:38:00,503 --> 01:38:02,403
对，但我总是会紧张

1319
01:38:02,505 --> 01:38:04,769
为什么? 又没有什么危险

1320
01:38:04,874 --> 01:38:07,001
假如你有机会被...

1321
01:38:07,110 --> 01:38:08,839
那你才有理由紧张

1322
01:38:08,946 --> 01:38:10,846
在3小时之内搞定酒吧里一个人

1323
01:38:10,948 --> 01:38:14,076
那你必须按时完成

1324
01:38:14,185 --> 01:38:16,153
那才是压力，对不对?

1325
01:38:16,988 --> 01:38:19,422
你们可以把这当做热身

1326
01:38:20,459 --> 01:38:23,292
你在寻找你的风格
所以你紧张?

1327
01:38:23,395 --> 01:38:26,364
或许你紧张
或许那就是你的鱼铒

1328
01:38:26,466 --> 01:38:29,264
所以尽管去脸红
结结巴巴地说出你的想法

1329
01:38:30,071 --> 01:38:32,301
让她知道你的感觉

1330
01:38:32,406 --> 01:38:34,601
想想吧，你在用诚实和恭维组合拳

1331
01:38:34,709 --> 01:38:36,540
- 那是致命的
- 是，但是...

1332
01:38:36,645 --> 01:38:39,113
你不能让女孩知道你有多紧张

1333
01:38:39,214 --> 01:38:41,444
你必须让她知道你在控制，对不?

1334
01:38:43,586 --> 01:38:45,315
"控制"? 谁能做到?

1335
01:38:45,421 --> 01:38:47,787
你们是在中学，你不控制什么--
看看你的脸

1336
01:38:47,891 --> 01:38:49,984
看看你在吃什么

1337
01:38:50,094 --> 01:38:51,959
看看那衬衫

1338
01:38:52,062 --> 01:38:53,495
控制！

1339
01:38:54,331 --> 01:38:55,992
好了

1340
01:38:56,101 --> 01:38:58,069
你们最想跟谁说话？

1341
01:38:58,169 --> 01:38:59,193
安吉拉

1342
01:39:00,238 --> 01:39:01,205
没错

1343
01:39:03,476 --> 01:39:06,309
- 安吉拉
- 你们可以这样说

1344
01:39:08,815 --> 01:39:11,010
嗨, 安吉拉
我叫-- 叫什么?

1345
01:39:11,118 --> 01:39:13,143
- 戴伦.
- 我叫戴伦

1346
01:39:15,657 --> 01:39:18,649
每次看见你
都有和你说话的冲动

1347
01:39:19,360 --> 01:39:21,624
所以我努力搜刮想说点机敏的

1348
01:39:21,730 --> 01:39:23,925
可我太紧张了

1349
01:39:25,868 --> 01:39:28,234
以致什么也想不出来

1350
01:39:28,338 --> 01:39:31,569
我们现在还互不相识
但我很想 比如...

1351
01:39:32,276 --> 01:39:35,268
找时间请你去喝点什么
以便我们可以谈话

1352
01:39:35,379 --> 01:39:37,347
我想知道我们有什么共同点

1353
01:39:38,350 --> 01:39:40,511
但最主要的是
我很想知道...

1354
01:39:40,619 --> 01:39:42,587
你是怎样的人

1355
01:39:42,688 --> 01:39:45,350
因为我已经够了远远地看着你

1356
01:39:45,458 --> 01:39:47,358
等等等等

1357
01:39:47,460 --> 01:39:49,360
那样编个故事
看它灵不灵

1358
01:39:49,462 --> 01:39:52,022
她会转过身 回到别的桌上

1359
01:39:52,132 --> 01:39:53,690
- 对
- 如果是那样

1360
01:39:53,801 --> 01:39:55,769
你睡着了都不知道你中了大奖
(已经有了效果)

1361
01:39:55,869 --> 01:39:57,769
记住，她也会给你看些什么
(她也会有所反应)

1362
01:39:58,840 --> 01:40:00,899
如果安吉拉给我看看什么
我会很高兴

1363
01:40:02,310 --> 01:40:04,835
- 对，两个东西
- 对!

1364
01:40:06,248 --> 01:40:07,715
我会舔他们

1365
01:40:09,753 --> 01:40:12,449
好吧，我尽力了
不用送了, 尼克

1366
01:40:12,556 --> 01:40:13,818
等等，你要走了?

1367
01:40:13,924 --> 01:40:16,518
是的，我要回去，找工作

1368
01:40:16,627 --> 01:40:18,527
就象所说
消费者需要被提醒

1369
01:40:18,629 --> 01:40:20,563
他们有多胖多不美

1370
01:40:22,267 --> 01:40:24,235
高兴见到你们

1371
01:40:24,937 --> 01:40:26,564
保持幽默感

1372
01:40:27,272 --> 01:40:30,730
10年后这个地方什么样你们都不会记得
相信我

1373
01:40:35,349 --> 01:40:37,317
伙计，你叔叔很奇怪

1374
01:40:38,152 --> 01:40:40,052
是，我知道
我想他是的

1375
01:40:40,154 --> 01:40:42,019
但他很酷
你还要拜访他吗?

1376
01:40:45,293 --> 01:40:46,590
我不知道

1377
01:40:50,666 --> 01:40:51,963
什么?

1378
01:40:55,372 --> 01:40:56,566
怎么?

1379
01:40:59,177 --> 01:41:00,667
嗨, 尼克

1380
01:41:00,779 --> 01:41:03,077
有个人，我想他是你叔叔

1381
01:41:03,181 --> 01:41:05,445
他说你有事要告诉我

1382
01:41:08,354 --> 01:41:11,221
他说那足以让我大吃一惊

1383
01:41:57,611 --> 01:42:00,512
Subtitles By
Captions, Inc. Los Angeles

1384
01:42:01,612 --> 01:42:11,514
***新视界字幕翻译小组制作***
翻译：YS

1385
01:42:12,613 --> 01:42:20,515
--------------------------
本字幕所有权益归制作人所有
纯属翻译爱好者交流学习使用
谢绝它用，否则一切后果自负
--------------------------

1
00:00:55,202 --> 00:00:58,169
What's happening right now
is important only in the context...

2
00:00:58,270 --> 00:01:00,429
of our continuing evolution
as a species.

3
00:01:00,538 --> 00:01:03,835
Roger, all I'm saying is that I wish my
sister would learn to read a subway map.

4
00:01:03,940 --> 00:01:06,065
By saying that, you disregard
the primary importance...

5
00:01:06,174 --> 00:01:08,640
of utility in human relationships.

6
00:01:08,742 --> 00:01:11,903
Our ability--
Men's ability to read maps...

7
00:01:12,010 --> 00:01:13,442
to navigate, makes us useful.

8
00:01:13,545 --> 00:01:16,410
You should discourage your sister
from even looking at a map.

9
00:01:16,513 --> 00:01:20,675
Are you saying that we women
have an inferior sense of direction?

10
00:01:21,449 --> 00:01:23,608
Which way is north,Joyce,
without looking around?

11
00:01:23,717 --> 00:01:25,115
What?

12
00:01:25,217 --> 00:01:27,116
You heard me. Point north.
Quick. North.

13
00:01:27,218 --> 00:01:28,514
Quick. North.

14
00:01:28,619 --> 00:01:30,085
North. North.

15
00:01:32,388 --> 00:01:34,616
- You're right.
- Is he right?

16
00:01:34,723 --> 00:01:36,451
- He's right.
- Very impressive.

17
00:01:36,557 --> 00:01:38,682
As she has throughout history...

18
00:01:38,792 --> 00:01:42,317
the female responds to the male
who displays the most utility.

19
00:01:42,427 --> 00:01:45,292
By honing those skills
which make me useful...

20
00:01:45,394 --> 00:01:48,657
I stave off
my inevitable obsolescence.

21
00:01:48,763 --> 00:01:51,423
You stay home honing your ability
to program a VCR?

22
00:01:51,531 --> 00:01:54,623
My VCR's been flashing 1 2:00
for three years.

23
00:01:55,967 --> 00:01:57,866
What else, Roger?

24
00:01:57,968 --> 00:02:01,868
Oh, driving a standard shift.
Lifting heavy things.

25
00:02:01,970 --> 00:02:04,028
- Air guitar.
- Yes, yes.

26
00:02:04,137 --> 00:02:05,967
Go ahead and chuckle, okay?

27
00:02:06,072 --> 00:02:09,369
But until women evolve the ability
to move objects telepathically--

28
00:02:09,474 --> 00:02:10,940
and they will--

29
00:02:11,041 --> 00:02:13,166
physical strength
remains a primary utility.

30
00:02:13,276 --> 00:02:15,106
Here's to brute strength then.

31
00:02:17,211 --> 00:02:21,736
Roger, you're forgetting
a very important male utility.

32
00:02:21,847 --> 00:02:23,108
What's that? Barbecuing?

33
00:02:26,283 --> 00:02:27,306
Sex.

34
00:02:27,416 --> 00:02:31,782
Yeah. I want a guy to do more
than just program my VCR.

35
00:02:31,885 --> 00:02:35,819
Oh, I'll program your VCR, baby,
like you never had it.

36
00:02:35,921 --> 00:02:38,183
It's a top-loader.
You thinkyou can handle that?

37
00:02:38,289 --> 00:02:40,778
Interestingly, a group of scientists
in England...

38
00:02:40,890 --> 00:02:43,721
just announced their intention
to fertilize an egg...

39
00:02:43,825 --> 00:02:45,792
without the use of sperm cells.

40
00:02:47,494 --> 00:02:48,790
I don't understand that.

41
00:02:48,894 --> 00:02:52,851
Every cell in the human body
contains a copy of the genome pattern.

42
00:02:52,963 --> 00:02:55,953
The only reason sperm cells
have all the fun is that up until now...

43
00:02:56,064 --> 00:02:57,963
they were the only ones with access.

44
00:02:58,065 --> 00:03:00,327
Within Christopher's lifetime,
artificial insemination...

45
00:03:00,433 --> 00:03:03,889
will render sperm as useless
as an assembly line worker in Detroit.

46
00:03:04,003 --> 00:03:07,334
Luckily, my accountant set up a golden
parachute for my sperm years ago.

47
00:03:07,437 --> 00:03:09,630
In case they were downsized.

48
00:03:11,072 --> 00:03:14,562
Just so you know, Roger,
you know that we women...

49
00:03:15,808 --> 00:03:18,331
make love because we like it.

50
00:03:18,443 --> 00:03:20,501
- Not just to procreate.
- Yes.

51
00:03:20,611 --> 00:03:24,545
- But are men absolutely necessary?
- I don't know that.

52
00:03:24,646 --> 00:03:26,545
Think of the structure
of the female genitalia.

53
00:03:26,647 --> 00:03:29,307
Wait. Wait.
Okay, got it.

54
00:03:30,516 --> 00:03:33,005
What is the most sensitive part
of the vagina?

55
00:03:33,118 --> 00:03:36,916
-I can't believe we've gotten into this.
-I thinkyou know this, Donovan.

56
00:03:37,020 --> 00:03:40,977
It's the clitoris, first discovered
by Renaldus Columbus in 1 559.

57
00:03:41,088 --> 00:03:42,418
He thought it was India.

58
00:03:44,490 --> 00:03:46,548
Oh, no No!

59
00:03:46,657 --> 00:03:49,818
The crown of the clitoris
contains 8,000 nerve fibers.

60
00:03:49,926 --> 00:03:52,825
It's a far great concentration
than in any part of the male body...

61
00:03:52,927 --> 00:03:54,154
even our fingertips.

62
00:03:54,261 --> 00:03:57,353
It is the most efficient,
pleasure-delivery system...

63
00:03:57,463 --> 00:03:59,157
ever devised by nature.

64
00:03:59,264 --> 00:04:00,890
Now, ask yourself...

65
00:04:00,998 --> 00:04:04,159
why didn't the clitoris end up
inside the vagina...

66
00:04:04,267 --> 00:04:06,756
so that intercourse
would be naturally...

67
00:04:06,868 --> 00:04:09,562
compellingly, constantly pleasurable
for a woman?

68
00:04:09,669 --> 00:04:11,862
- I know the answer.
- Yes, Ms. Maynard.

69
00:04:11,971 --> 00:04:16,769
Because in primitive time,
women died of childbirth.

70
00:04:16,874 --> 00:04:19,739
So for intercourse to be
too pleasurable...

71
00:04:19,841 --> 00:04:22,433
wouldn't make sense
from a Darwinian standpoint.

72
00:04:22,543 --> 00:04:25,510
- I'm impressed.
- Absolutely right.

73
00:04:25,611 --> 00:04:28,703
- What does that tell us?
- Evolution is looking out for us girls?

74
00:04:28,813 --> 00:04:30,575
- Exactly.
- That for women...

75
00:04:30,680 --> 00:04:34,444
intercourse and sexual fulfillment
were never intended to intersect.

76
00:04:35,949 --> 00:04:38,108
New technology
just makes it official.

77
00:04:38,217 --> 00:04:43,083
Future generations ofwomen will evolve
clitorises-- "clitori, clitorati"--

78
00:04:43,187 --> 00:04:44,448
"Clitorissimo."

79
00:04:48,322 --> 00:04:51,881
that are larger, longer,
even more sensitive.

80
00:04:51,992 --> 00:04:55,084
And a woman's ability, as well as
her desire to self-stimulate...

81
00:04:55,193 --> 00:04:57,092
will increase exponentially...

82
00:04:57,194 --> 00:04:59,592
as intercourse is robbed
of its procreative utility.

83
00:05:00,896 --> 00:05:02,692
- I'm confused and frightened.
- You should be.

84
00:05:02,798 --> 00:05:06,596
The species is not static.
We're in a constant state of flux.

85
00:05:06,699 --> 00:05:09,689
Two genders has been
the default setting for one reason only:

86
00:05:09,801 --> 00:05:12,063
So far it's been the only way
to propagate the race.

87
00:05:12,169 --> 00:05:14,068
Is there any species
that just has one gender...

88
00:05:14,170 --> 00:05:16,693
that doesn't have male/female?

89
00:05:16,805 --> 00:05:18,203
Starfish, for one.

90
00:05:18,305 --> 00:05:21,431
Next time I see a starfish,
I'm gonna tell him to go fuck himself.

91
00:05:23,141 --> 00:05:24,471
Come on. You love it.

92
00:05:25,743 --> 00:05:27,471
No, we don't.

93
00:05:28,877 --> 00:05:30,741
So where are we headed?

94
00:05:30,845 --> 00:05:32,970
Equality?
Equality, what is that?

95
00:05:34,713 --> 00:05:36,043
Is that a principle of nature?

96
00:05:36,148 --> 00:05:38,910
We all sit around
reading subway maps together.

97
00:05:39,016 --> 00:05:41,141
No. Of course not.
Natural selection.

98
00:05:41,250 --> 00:05:43,773
Now that is a principle of nature.

99
00:05:43,885 --> 00:05:46,443
Selection. Something has to lose.
Something has to be defeated...

100
00:05:46,554 --> 00:05:48,816
in order for something else
to be selected.

101
00:05:48,921 --> 00:05:50,888
So, what does this mean?

102
00:05:54,024 --> 00:05:56,616
We have to take orders from Joyce
for the rest of lives.

103
00:05:57,559 --> 00:05:59,253
That's right. I like that.

104
00:05:59,359 --> 00:06:02,190
It means that 1 0 or 1 5 generations
from now...

105
00:06:02,295 --> 00:06:04,319
men will be reduced to servitude.

106
00:06:06,297 --> 00:06:08,422
Technology and evolution
will have combined...

107
00:06:08,531 --> 00:06:11,259
to exclude sperm from procreation...

108
00:06:11,366 --> 00:06:15,266
and our final destiny will be
to lift couches...

109
00:06:15,368 --> 00:06:18,699
and wait for that day
when telepathy overcomes gravity...

110
00:06:18,803 --> 00:06:23,601
and our gender's last remaining utility
is lost forever.

111
00:06:23,706 --> 00:06:25,002
Forever.

112
00:06:25,707 --> 00:06:27,401
Oh, my God, Roger.

113
00:06:30,409 --> 00:06:33,843
- What? I'm done.
- Then I rest my case.

114
00:06:38,547 --> 00:06:40,013
Thank you.

115
00:06:41,849 --> 00:06:43,475
Love you people.

116
00:06:51,353 --> 00:06:52,819
Yeah, this is good.

117
00:07:47,682 --> 00:07:50,478
-Jesus!
- No, just me.

118
00:07:52,152 --> 00:07:54,016
How did you get in here?

119
00:07:56,821 --> 00:07:59,686
- Where did you get those?
- Copied them from yours.

120
00:07:59,788 --> 00:08:03,586
- When?
- Last week when you sent me for bagels.

121
00:08:06,058 --> 00:08:07,285
Give them to me.

122
00:08:07,393 --> 00:08:09,859
Aren't you tired of constantly
having to buzz me in here?

123
00:08:09,961 --> 00:08:13,554
See how your brain works? How does
once a week turn into "constantly"?

124
00:08:13,663 --> 00:08:17,722
Actually, last week was two times,
including, I believe, Friday...

125
00:08:17,832 --> 00:08:22,198
when you woke me out of a dead, pleasant
sleep and demanded the use of my body.

126
00:08:22,301 --> 00:08:24,460
- You could have said no.
- What? Are you kidding me?

127
00:08:24,569 --> 00:08:26,229
That was a call to action.

128
00:08:26,336 --> 00:08:28,529
I dressed in 30 seconds
like a volunteer fireman.

129
00:08:28,638 --> 00:08:29,604
I was insane--

130
00:08:29,704 --> 00:08:33,160
You should stop talking and listen
to me. I got something to say to you.

131
00:08:33,273 --> 00:08:34,637
Oh, yeah?

132
00:08:34,741 --> 00:08:37,970
- Words are my stock-in-trade,Joyce.
- I know.

133
00:08:38,075 --> 00:08:40,803
You can't just
stop up the floodgate.

134
00:08:40,911 --> 00:08:42,878
- Put that down.
- What?

135
00:08:44,379 --> 00:08:46,073
- We need to stop this.
- Stop what?

136
00:08:46,180 --> 00:08:48,874
God, I love watching you
in the bathroom.

137
00:08:48,981 --> 00:08:53,415
You're like an athlete after the game,
scraping off the war paint.

138
00:08:53,517 --> 00:08:55,847
I meant, we need to stop
seeing each other.

139
00:08:55,952 --> 00:08:57,578
Oh, really?

140
00:08:59,420 --> 00:09:01,319
This whole thing was a bad idea.

141
00:09:01,421 --> 00:09:04,547
Generally, I have good judgment,
but this time, right out the window.

142
00:09:04,656 --> 00:09:08,055
This whole thing is a great idea.
Nobody knows about us.

143
00:09:08,158 --> 00:09:10,351
We all go out, I sit there and...

144
00:09:10,459 --> 00:09:12,187
you know, a few hours later...

145
00:09:12,294 --> 00:09:14,261
I know I'm going to be
the traveling salesman...

146
00:09:14,361 --> 00:09:16,691
and you're going to be
the lonely housewife.

147
00:09:16,795 --> 00:09:21,627
I need you to be an adult about this.
No scenes.

148
00:09:21,731 --> 00:09:24,960
Joyce, I am your boy.
I'm your thoroughbred.

149
00:09:25,067 --> 00:09:27,693
Adult. Understand?

150
00:09:29,368 --> 00:09:32,494
Forget about the keys, okay?
Just keep the keys with--

151
00:09:41,309 --> 00:09:46,039
Tonight is our last night,
so let's make it a good one.

152
00:09:50,146 --> 00:09:51,772
Good-bye sex is never good.

153
00:09:51,881 --> 00:09:53,848
Next week, we'll have
"get back together" sex--

154
00:10:01,886 --> 00:10:04,409
- Can I stay the night?
- Roger, no.

155
00:11:32,000 --> 00:11:33,296
Right.

156
00:11:46,007 --> 00:11:49,634
Hi. Can I have a Cosmo and
a Maker's Mark on the rocks? Thanks.

157
00:11:49,742 --> 00:11:53,232
- Let's have a talk.
- I'm sorry. I'm with some people.

158
00:11:53,343 --> 00:11:54,502
Let me guess.

159
00:11:56,912 --> 00:11:58,708
You're relatively new at the company.

160
00:11:58,813 --> 00:12:02,747
Maybe you moved to New York from
somewhere else. Somewhere friendly.

161
00:12:05,217 --> 00:12:07,410
First you took pride in being alone.

162
00:12:07,517 --> 00:12:10,313
Wanna make a name foryourself
in the big city.

163
00:12:10,419 --> 00:12:14,046
After a while, you started thinking
how it might be nice to meet somebody.

164
00:12:14,154 --> 00:12:17,781
Winter's not far off,
and it gets lonely sometimes.

165
00:12:19,024 --> 00:12:21,422
Okay. And?

166
00:12:22,225 --> 00:12:25,249
And so you develop a crush
on your supervisor...

167
00:12:27,194 --> 00:12:29,626
even though the other women
in the office tell you...

168
00:12:29,729 --> 00:12:31,753
" Keep clear. He's bad news."

169
00:12:31,864 --> 00:12:34,126
- Why is he bad news?
- Because he's a player.

170
00:12:34,965 --> 00:12:37,488
He's a guy who collects trophies.

171
00:12:37,600 --> 00:12:40,226
Every woman who takes a job there
ends up in bed with him.

172
00:12:41,702 --> 00:12:43,601
And ifyou give in to temptation...

173
00:12:43,703 --> 00:12:47,137
you'll end up the punch line
to a sordid joke by the water cooler.

174
00:12:47,238 --> 00:12:48,704
Am I hot or cold?

175
00:12:51,540 --> 00:12:54,473
- It's a good story.
- It's a cliche.

176
00:12:54,575 --> 00:12:56,542
So what do you do
when you're not reducing the world?

177
00:12:56,643 --> 00:12:59,303
What's wrong with reduction,
boiling things down to their essence?

178
00:12:59,412 --> 00:13:03,312
What's wrong with...
seeing what's really going on?

179
00:13:03,414 --> 00:13:06,472
And what's really going on?
What's the big revelation?

180
00:13:07,416 --> 00:13:09,178
Why should I tell you?

181
00:13:09,283 --> 00:13:11,579
Telling you
isn't going to change anything.

182
00:13:11,685 --> 00:13:16,119
For instance, I could tell you that
what you think of as your personality...

183
00:13:16,219 --> 00:13:18,981
is nothing but a collection
of Vanity Fairarticles.

184
00:13:19,088 --> 00:13:23,522
I could tell you your choice
of sexual partners this evening...

185
00:13:23,624 --> 00:13:26,489
was decided months ago by some
account executive at Young & Rubicam.

186
00:13:26,591 --> 00:13:29,786
I could tell you that
given a week to study your father...

187
00:13:29,894 --> 00:13:32,019
and the ways
in which he ignores you...

188
00:13:32,128 --> 00:13:35,459
I could come up with a schtick
you'd be helpless to resist. Helpless.

189
00:13:40,132 --> 00:13:43,031
I could tell you all that, but what
would you do with the information?

190
00:13:43,134 --> 00:13:45,600
Are there women
who fall for this stuff?

191
00:13:46,936 --> 00:13:48,562
I'm telling the truth as I see it.

192
00:13:48,670 --> 00:13:51,432
You wanna go fuckyour boss?
What business is it of mine.

193
00:13:55,740 --> 00:13:59,105
He's not Daddy.
He's just a guy in a suit.

194
00:14:03,878 --> 00:14:07,744
You feel compelled to contribute
to the pathetic...

195
00:14:07,847 --> 00:14:10,780
heartbreaking predictability of it all,
by all means--

196
00:14:31,692 --> 00:14:33,158
- Hi.
- Hi.

197
00:14:37,695 --> 00:14:41,561
- You waiting for someone?
- Yeah, my fiance.

198
00:14:41,664 --> 00:14:45,063
- Hey, congratulations.
- Thanks.

199
00:14:47,700 --> 00:14:50,599
All right. Congratulations.

200
00:14:55,372 --> 00:14:56,861
Is he a kind man,
your fiance?

201
00:14:56,972 --> 00:14:58,939
Does he treat you with respect?

202
00:15:00,074 --> 00:15:02,802
Not that it's any ofyour business,
but, yes, he does.

203
00:15:04,143 --> 00:15:07,907
- That must make you nervous.
- Why would that make me nervous?

204
00:15:08,011 --> 00:15:10,477
Oh, come on.

205
00:15:10,580 --> 00:15:13,445
Look at the time.
Let's do the math together.

206
00:15:13,547 --> 00:15:15,241
What are you talking about?

207
00:15:15,348 --> 00:15:18,543
Let me guess, low self-esteem...

208
00:15:18,650 --> 00:15:23,744
and premenopausal... concern
led you to pursue a series of--

209
00:15:25,653 --> 00:15:27,017
semiabusive relationships?

210
00:15:27,122 --> 00:15:31,556
But a recent dose of therapy
has convinced you...

211
00:15:31,656 --> 00:15:33,815
that inner-beauty
is what really matters, and...

212
00:15:35,692 --> 00:15:40,888
you really deserve that perfect partner
who treats you with such respect.

213
00:15:40,995 --> 00:15:42,928
Do you want me to call
the bartender?

214
00:15:43,029 --> 00:15:44,962
Unless you're an idiot--
which I don't thinkyou are--

215
00:15:45,064 --> 00:15:46,963
unless you're some kind
of pathetic, self-help junkie...

216
00:15:47,065 --> 00:15:49,657
you and I know your guy's gonna
wake up one morning, and--

217
00:15:50,967 --> 00:15:53,297
he's gonna look around,
figure out how old you are...

218
00:15:53,402 --> 00:15:56,563
and what you're really like,
and that's the day he's gonna go out...

219
00:15:56,669 --> 00:15:58,636
for a pack of smokes
and never come back.

220
00:15:59,405 --> 00:16:01,235
By that time--
How you doing?

221
00:16:02,507 --> 00:16:05,474
If she doesn't see what's coming,
I fucking weep for her.

222
00:16:18,848 --> 00:16:21,110
- Can I help you, sir?
- Hey. No, thanks. I'm good.

223
00:16:21,216 --> 00:16:22,978
I said, "Can I help you, sir?

224
00:16:24,851 --> 00:16:28,717
- Where's that other guy? The--
- He's home sleeping.

225
00:16:28,820 --> 00:16:32,584
Okay. Well, it's very important that
I see Joyce Maynard right away, so--

226
00:16:32,688 --> 00:16:35,314
Okay. I understand.
Why don't I just leave her a note?

227
00:16:37,858 --> 00:16:39,586
It's important
that I see her in person.

228
00:16:39,692 --> 00:16:42,284
That's not gonna work,
so why don't I...

229
00:16:42,393 --> 00:16:44,757
call you a cab and you go home
and sleep it off?

230
00:16:44,861 --> 00:16:46,952
Why don't you go fucking home?

231
00:16:47,062 --> 00:16:49,654
Okay. You know what?
We don't understand each other.

232
00:16:49,764 --> 00:16:53,664
I'm her boy. I'm her boy, okay?
Who are you? Who are you?

233
00:16:53,766 --> 00:16:58,166
I am the man who's gonna call the police
ifyou don't get out of my lobby!

234
00:17:48,395 --> 00:17:51,692
Roger, it's Susan.
It's Thursday, and I wantyou to call--

235
00:18:30,016 --> 00:18:32,141
- Roger, pick up line two.
- Who is it?

236
00:18:32,251 --> 00:18:35,218
-It's regarding the new campaign.
-Which new campai gn? Get a name, please.

237
00:18:37,653 --> 00:18:40,848
- It's Susan.
- T ell her I'm out.

238
00:18:40,955 --> 00:18:43,786
- She says it's important--
- T ell her I'm out.

239
00:18:50,527 --> 00:18:54,154
Yeah. This is, like, surly.
That's like, "What is that?

240
00:18:54,262 --> 00:18:56,058
- And this is, like--
- You want surly?

241
00:18:56,163 --> 00:18:58,322
-This is like '90s, adorable normal guy.
-I am that.

242
00:18:58,431 --> 00:19:00,330
- That's your problem.
- That's your nightmare.

243
00:19:00,432 --> 00:19:03,490
Hey, Roget.
You going to Joyce's tonight?

244
00:19:05,068 --> 00:19:06,694
What?

245
00:19:07,436 --> 00:19:10,494
- Didn't you get the E-mail?
- What E-mail?

246
00:19:13,272 --> 00:19:14,863
About the party?

247
00:19:15,907 --> 00:19:17,339
You going?

248
00:19:17,441 --> 00:19:20,067
Joyce throws a party,
I don't ask questions. I just show up.

249
00:19:30,414 --> 00:19:31,937
She's on a conference call.

250
00:19:32,048 --> 00:19:34,640
Ted, there's someone
in my office.

251
00:19:34,750 --> 00:19:36,909
- Bye, Ted.
- It's okay, Donna, you can--

252
00:19:37,017 --> 00:19:39,916
- Bye, Donna.
- I'll call you back in five minutes.

253
00:19:40,019 --> 00:19:43,783
"Five minutes"?
This is a five-minute situation?

254
00:19:43,888 --> 00:19:45,548
Sit down.

255
00:19:45,655 --> 00:19:47,713
I don't wish to sit down.
I wish to stand.

256
00:19:48,724 --> 00:19:50,691
Did you try to get
into my building last night?

257
00:19:53,026 --> 00:19:55,618
Why am I not invited tonight?
Everyone will be there except me.

258
00:19:55,727 --> 00:19:57,717
What is that going to look like?

259
00:20:00,029 --> 00:20:02,928
- Let's reestablish some boundaries.
- Let's not.

260
00:20:04,865 --> 00:20:07,889
I'm your boss.
You work for me.

261
00:20:08,001 --> 00:20:10,194
You write very good copy.

262
00:20:11,669 --> 00:20:16,933
But I have a hundred resumes
on my files for guys just like you.

263
00:20:17,038 --> 00:20:19,732
But do those guys
do that thing that I do?

264
00:20:19,840 --> 00:20:21,602
The thing that you like?

265
00:20:22,475 --> 00:20:27,307
I have explained to you that I do not
wish to see you socially any longer.

266
00:20:35,581 --> 00:20:37,548
Find a way to deal with it.

267
00:20:48,755 --> 00:20:50,880
What's that supposed to do?

268
00:21:22,973 --> 00:21:24,132
Nick?

269
00:21:26,408 --> 00:21:28,238
Uncle Roger.
How's it going?

270
00:21:29,943 --> 00:21:31,739
What are you doing here?

271
00:21:32,678 --> 00:21:35,406
What? Oh.
I wanted to see where you work.

272
00:21:36,546 --> 00:21:40,275
- Yes. No. What are you doing here?
- What?

273
00:21:40,381 --> 00:21:43,109
- You mean here in New York here?
- Yes.

274
00:21:43,216 --> 00:21:46,741
I had an interview at Columbia,
so Mom said I should lookyou up.

275
00:21:46,851 --> 00:21:49,784
- Sit down.
- Okay.

276
00:21:49,887 --> 00:21:51,786
That's what all the phone calls
were about.

277
00:21:51,888 --> 00:21:54,252
- The phone calls?
- Yeah. Your mom's been calling me.

278
00:21:54,355 --> 00:21:57,982
- Did you speak to her?
- We're playing phone tag.

279
00:21:58,091 --> 00:22:00,319
She said you could
show me what you do here.

280
00:22:00,426 --> 00:22:02,393
She did?

281
00:22:02,493 --> 00:22:05,654
Well, there's not a whole lot
to show you, Nick.

282
00:22:05,761 --> 00:22:08,990
Really? Like, what do you do all day?

283
00:22:09,096 --> 00:22:11,063
What do I do all day?

284
00:22:12,031 --> 00:22:14,759
I sit here and think ofways
to make people feel bad.

285
00:22:16,367 --> 00:22:19,095
- I thought you wrote for commercials.
- I do...

286
00:22:19,202 --> 00:22:22,169
but you can't sell a product
without first making people feel bad.

287
00:22:22,971 --> 00:22:24,267
Why not?

288
00:22:27,006 --> 00:22:28,973
Because it's a substitution game.

289
00:22:30,107 --> 00:22:32,665
You have to remind them that they're
missing something from their lives.

290
00:22:32,775 --> 00:22:34,605
Everyone's missing something, right?

291
00:22:34,710 --> 00:22:36,643
- Well, yeah. I guess.
- Trust me.

292
00:22:36,744 --> 00:22:39,336
And when they're feeling
sufficiently incomplete...

293
00:22:39,446 --> 00:22:42,538
you convince them that your product is
the only thing that can fill the void.

294
00:22:42,647 --> 00:22:44,875
So, instead of taking steps
to deal with their lives...

295
00:22:44,982 --> 00:22:48,711
instead ofworking to root out
the real reason for their misery...

296
00:22:48,817 --> 00:22:51,716
they run out and buy
a stupid-looking pair of cargo pants.

297
00:23:00,190 --> 00:23:03,954
- So... is it fun?
- It can be.

298
00:23:04,058 --> 00:23:06,854
Look, I actually was about
to call it a day.

299
00:23:06,960 --> 00:23:08,927
That's cool.
We can go get something to eat.

300
00:23:11,629 --> 00:23:15,154
- Fine. Let's get out of here.
- Great.

301
00:23:39,777 --> 00:23:42,642
You gave me a scare. I thought you
were having a narcoleptic episode.

302
00:23:42,745 --> 00:23:46,304
- What? When?
- Back at the office, you know?

303
00:23:47,781 --> 00:23:50,304
That's standing meditation.
It calms me down. Thanks.

304
00:23:50,416 --> 00:23:52,814
Why should you calm down?
You're a teenager. Thankyou.

305
00:23:52,917 --> 00:23:54,884
My brain gets all sloppy
when I'm stressed...

306
00:23:54,985 --> 00:23:57,645
so the meditation helps me focus
and block out the bad stuff.

307
00:23:57,753 --> 00:24:00,515
- Bad stuff?
- Like fear and pain, you know?

308
00:24:00,621 --> 00:24:04,350
It's a visualization. I picture
a blue triangle, and that's me.

309
00:24:04,456 --> 00:24:08,049
I put all the other stuff outside
the triangle in a red field. It works.

310
00:24:10,459 --> 00:24:12,255
So, how's your folks?

311
00:24:17,296 --> 00:24:20,354
- They got divorced.
- What?

312
00:24:20,464 --> 00:24:22,488
Yeah. My dad moved out.

313
00:24:22,599 --> 00:24:24,997
- You're kidding. When did this happen?
- A while ago.

314
00:24:25,100 --> 00:24:27,464
I haven't seen you
since Grandma's funeral.

315
00:24:33,571 --> 00:24:35,696
- Jesus, Nick. I'm sorry to hear that.
- It's no big deal.

316
00:24:35,806 --> 00:24:38,295
I still talk to my dad.
He calls from the road.

317
00:24:38,408 --> 00:24:39,897
How's your mom doing?

318
00:24:40,008 --> 00:24:41,372
She's fine. You know.

319
00:24:43,410 --> 00:24:45,706
- Surprised she didn't come with you.
- Maybe she was afraid to see you...

320
00:24:45,811 --> 00:24:47,675
after what happened at the funeral.

321
00:24:47,779 --> 00:24:50,837
That happened because
your grandfather's a king-size prick.

322
00:24:53,348 --> 00:24:54,905
All right?

323
00:25:04,120 --> 00:25:05,882
So when's your interview?

324
00:25:07,256 --> 00:25:09,779
- It was today.
- How'd it go?

325
00:25:09,891 --> 00:25:12,255
Fine, I guess. I did the interviews
'cause Mom wants me to.

326
00:25:12,358 --> 00:25:15,086
- You're not interested in college?
- Why keep going to school...

327
00:25:15,193 --> 00:25:17,751
when anything I need to find out about
I can look up myself?

328
00:25:17,861 --> 00:25:20,589
Dad didn't go to college. By the time
he was my age, he was on the road.

329
00:25:20,696 --> 00:25:22,992
- How is everything here?
- First-rate. Thanks.

330
00:25:24,698 --> 00:25:29,860
But... the good thing about college
is you get to hang out a lot.

331
00:25:29,967 --> 00:25:32,365
- It's good for the social skills.
- Yeah.

332
00:25:36,538 --> 00:25:41,734
So... my mom says you're kind of,
you know, like a ladies' man.

333
00:25:41,840 --> 00:25:45,069
- She said that?
- But she says it like it's a bad thing.

334
00:25:45,176 --> 00:25:47,143
That sounds like her.

335
00:25:47,943 --> 00:25:51,342
- Is it true?
- What about you? You have a girlfriend?

336
00:25:53,146 --> 00:25:57,103
No. I mean, you know, not yet.

337
00:25:58,649 --> 00:26:03,276
Look. I'm getting older, and there's
a lot of stuff that I wish I could--

338
00:26:06,853 --> 00:26:11,219
There's a lot of stuff that I haven't--
There's certain things I need to--

339
00:26:11,322 --> 00:26:13,289
Yeah. I thought you said
you could look that stuff up.

340
00:26:13,390 --> 00:26:15,380
No. I mean, not this.

341
00:26:15,491 --> 00:26:18,253
You don't understand. I need
someone who knows what to say--

342
00:26:18,359 --> 00:26:21,121
I'm kidding you, Nick.
That's what college is for.

343
00:26:21,227 --> 00:26:26,218
You find some football player who needs
tutoring, and he helps you get girls.

344
00:26:26,330 --> 00:26:29,297
- You don't get it.
- I get it. I was 1 6 once, all right?

345
00:26:30,232 --> 00:26:32,596
What are you going to do
ifyou don't go to college?

346
00:26:32,700 --> 00:26:35,064
Design software.
Maybe work on simulation games.

347
00:26:35,168 --> 00:26:37,634
That's right. You're the computer whiz.
There is money in that.

348
00:26:37,736 --> 00:26:39,703
I already make money
setting up systems for people.

349
00:26:39,803 --> 00:26:42,201
I'm working on a web page
for Granddad for his research.

350
00:26:42,305 --> 00:26:44,828
What, the old man?
He's actually spending money?

351
00:26:44,940 --> 00:26:46,133
Yeah, good money too.

352
00:26:46,240 --> 00:26:48,604
It's funny, 'cause he yells
at his computer like it's a person.

353
00:26:48,708 --> 00:26:50,766
He's always going,
"That bitch ate my file."

354
00:26:50,876 --> 00:26:54,401
- Or, "She's playing hard to get."
- You spend a lot of time there?

355
00:26:54,511 --> 00:26:55,477
Yeah, nowadays.

356
00:26:55,579 --> 00:26:58,774
I go over after school, and he
comes over and eats dinner with us.

357
00:26:58,880 --> 00:27:02,746
Wait a minute.
He eats dinner with you and Susan?

358
00:27:02,849 --> 00:27:06,749
Sure. Since Grandma died,
there's no one taking care ofhim.

359
00:27:06,851 --> 00:27:09,750
Even after they split up,
she went over every day to cook dinner.

360
00:27:09,853 --> 00:27:13,480
I mean, every single day.
She was nuts.

361
00:27:18,157 --> 00:27:20,124
Yeah, she was nuts.

362
00:27:24,060 --> 00:27:25,424
So, Nick.

363
00:27:27,428 --> 00:27:29,553
You need some help with the ladies?

364
00:27:32,965 --> 00:27:35,193
All right. Here we go.
Get this straight.

365
00:27:35,266 --> 00:27:39,461
Sex is everywhere, okay?
It is all around us.

366
00:27:39,568 --> 00:27:42,501
It's not some distant destination.
It's not Everest.

367
00:27:42,603 --> 00:27:46,162
It is right here.
You have to attune yourself to it.

368
00:27:46,271 --> 00:27:48,170
You have to bring yourself
into alignment.

369
00:27:48,272 --> 00:27:50,171
You have to find
the zone, Nick. Okay?

370
00:27:50,273 --> 00:27:53,900
Do that, and I promise you
a whole world will open up.

371
00:27:55,042 --> 00:27:58,407
Look at me. I walk around
in a state of total receptivity.

372
00:27:58,512 --> 00:28:01,809
- I'm like a fucking lightning rod.
- All right. Fine. What do I do?

373
00:28:03,080 --> 00:28:06,104
For starters, let's get rid of that
little meditation. The blue triangle.

374
00:28:06,215 --> 00:28:09,740
We don't block things out, Nicholas.
We let them in.

375
00:28:09,850 --> 00:28:11,214
Let what in?

376
00:28:11,317 --> 00:28:13,647
There are millions ofwomen
in this city.

377
00:28:13,752 --> 00:28:16,981
Millions. Most ofthem are blessedly
unaware ofthe countless ways...

378
00:28:17,088 --> 00:28:19,816
in which their bodies
are exposed to our eyes.

379
00:28:19,922 --> 00:28:22,616
So, first, learn to read the sun,
where it sits.

380
00:28:22,724 --> 00:28:28,421
You'll notice... correlation between
backlighting and transparency.

381
00:28:28,527 --> 00:28:31,551
They wear light-colored clothing,
underwear shows right through.

382
00:28:31,662 --> 00:28:34,595
Bra straps, panty lines.
No need to stretch or squint.

383
00:28:34,696 --> 00:28:38,824
It is there for us, okay?
For example--

384
00:28:46,435 --> 00:28:47,492
What?

385
00:28:47,603 --> 00:28:50,001
Are you blowing my cover
like some construction worker?

386
00:28:50,105 --> 00:28:53,129
- No. I was just--
- Use your head.

387
00:28:54,040 --> 00:28:58,303
Step back. Let her pass.
Okay? Give it a few seconds.

388
00:28:58,409 --> 00:29:01,774
Watch this, and then camouflage
the move. Pay attention.

389
00:29:06,046 --> 00:29:08,706
Checking of the watch is good.
Or of the pager.

390
00:29:08,815 --> 00:29:11,373
Or looking for
a street sign like you're lost.

391
00:29:11,482 --> 00:29:14,074
You saw me do a combination.
Whatever it is, don't get caught.

392
00:29:14,184 --> 00:29:16,810
Do you think women have a clue
what goes on up here?

393
00:29:16,919 --> 00:29:20,478
What do they think,
it's just stock quotes, drill bit sizes?

394
00:29:20,587 --> 00:29:23,281
They don't know shit!
Let's keep it that way.

395
00:29:23,389 --> 00:29:27,153
- All right.
- Watch. What about your eyes?

396
00:29:27,257 --> 00:29:29,815
- What? My eyes?
- Your eyes. How's your vision?

397
00:29:29,926 --> 00:29:32,484
- No, it's good. It's 20-20.
- Okay. Peripheral?

398
00:29:32,593 --> 00:29:35,321
- I don't know. It's fine, I guess.
- Fine's not gonna cut it.

399
00:29:35,428 --> 00:29:38,884
You gotta workyour muscles like you're
training for the fucking Olympics.

400
00:29:38,996 --> 00:29:41,758
- Yeah.
- Up, down, left, right, et cetera.

401
00:29:44,732 --> 00:29:46,426
- Here. Follow my finger.
- Okay.

402
00:29:46,534 --> 00:29:48,160
- Tell me when it's gone.
- All right.

403
00:29:49,035 --> 00:29:51,399
- Okay. Stop.
- That's it?

404
00:29:51,503 --> 00:29:53,628
You need a hundred,
a hundred and ten degrees...

405
00:29:53,737 --> 00:29:55,999
before you're ready for the street.

406
00:29:56,105 --> 00:29:58,072
I see behind me on a good day.

407
00:29:58,841 --> 00:30:00,330
- You play video games?
- Sure.

408
00:30:00,441 --> 00:30:02,340
Good. That stuff is training
for the eyes.

409
00:30:02,442 --> 00:30:03,408
Registering images
in a split second.

410
00:30:03,509 --> 00:30:05,634
It's invaluable.
Oh. Right there.

411
00:30:05,743 --> 00:30:08,301
Blue sweater. Blue sweater.
Median. Blue sweater. Blue sweater.

412
00:30:12,214 --> 00:30:14,942
That young lady just--
And you missed it.

413
00:30:15,049 --> 00:30:17,073
- I know.
- In just a fraction of a second.

414
00:30:17,183 --> 00:30:20,878
That's all. But a trained eye
can get in there for a look.

415
00:30:20,985 --> 00:30:23,543
You have to learn to anticipate
your opportunities, okay?

416
00:30:23,653 --> 00:30:25,643
Getting out of a cab,
wind from a subway grate...

417
00:30:25,754 --> 00:30:29,848
or as you so sadly missed there,
bending over to pick something up.

418
00:30:29,957 --> 00:30:32,856
These are situations which require
lightning reflexes.

419
00:30:32,958 --> 00:30:36,289
- I tell you, I can do that.
- Your a step slow right now, Nick.

420
00:30:36,393 --> 00:30:39,952
Hey, no wonder.
I remember what it's like out there.

421
00:30:40,062 --> 00:30:41,528
No interaction. No face time.

422
00:30:41,629 --> 00:30:44,790
Look at me. Every day I have
the street, the subway, the ATM line...

423
00:30:44,898 --> 00:30:46,989
the office, the gym, the--

424
00:30:47,099 --> 00:30:48,759
What have you got?

425
00:30:48,867 --> 00:30:51,425
Young people sitting in cars in Ohio.

426
00:30:51,534 --> 00:30:53,501
Wistful glances at the stoplight.

427
00:30:53,602 --> 00:30:55,432
No, I go to school.
That's interaction.

428
00:30:55,536 --> 00:30:57,127
Okay. Let's work with that.

429
00:30:57,238 --> 00:30:59,602
The high school building
is four stories, if memory serves.

430
00:30:59,705 --> 00:31:01,569
- It's five stories now.
- Whatever.

431
00:31:01,673 --> 00:31:04,902
It's multistory, and that means stairs,
which is good.

432
00:31:05,008 --> 00:31:08,464
Free yourself from the tyranny
of eye level. Come here.

433
00:31:08,576 --> 00:31:10,600
Use the angles.
High for cleavage.

434
00:31:12,311 --> 00:31:15,767
- Low for the skirts.
- All right.

435
00:31:15,881 --> 00:31:19,508
Remember, there's no shame
in calling on an old standby, right?

436
00:31:19,616 --> 00:31:22,344
Dropping of the pencil. Tying of
the shoe.Just don't telegraph it.

437
00:31:22,451 --> 00:31:25,009
What about reflective surfaces?
Mirrors, windows?

438
00:31:25,118 --> 00:31:27,209
What, in school?
No, there's no mirrors.

439
00:31:27,319 --> 00:31:29,717
What about that ugly
glass trophy case that--

440
00:31:29,821 --> 00:31:31,754
- Yeah, that's there.
- Well, use it. It's perfect.

441
00:31:31,855 --> 00:31:35,152
Go stand over there for a second.
Keep going. Keep going. Stop.

442
00:31:36,558 --> 00:31:39,855
Ifyou can't stare directly,
turn your back and use the glass.

443
00:31:39,959 --> 00:31:41,186
Hi, gorgeous.

444
00:31:41,293 --> 00:31:44,727
Remember, angle of incidence
equals angle of reflectives.

445
00:31:44,829 --> 00:31:48,388
In other words, ifyou can see them,
they can see you. So be alert.

446
00:31:48,497 --> 00:31:50,725
- This is really complicated.
- It's rocket science.

447
00:31:50,832 --> 00:31:53,390
- You were smart to ask for help.
- I have a good one.

448
00:31:53,500 --> 00:31:55,228
When they're wearing short sleeves...

449
00:31:55,334 --> 00:31:58,392
and they raise their arms to fix their
hair, you can see in that gap there.

450
00:31:58,502 --> 00:32:01,765
Now, see? That shows me
you're using your faculties.

451
00:32:01,871 --> 00:32:04,565
- Don't they know we can see in there?
- Of course they do.

452
00:32:04,672 --> 00:32:07,434
Breasts are very sensitive.
They know when they're exposed to air.

453
00:32:09,241 --> 00:32:12,800
Are women gonna walk around with
their hands clamped to their sides? No.

454
00:32:12,910 --> 00:32:15,103
Their hair has to be
dealt with eventually...

455
00:32:15,211 --> 00:32:19,236
and it is our job,
it is ourvocation to be ready.

456
00:32:19,346 --> 00:32:22,871
All right. So all this looking is fine,
but how do you take the next step?

457
00:32:22,981 --> 00:32:24,948
I need to meet someone.

458
00:32:29,351 --> 00:32:31,409
Ifyou can't see
how the two things are related...

459
00:32:31,519 --> 00:32:33,247
there's nothing I can do foryou.

460
00:32:33,353 --> 00:32:35,751
- Wait. Relax. Come on.
- You think we are kidding around here?

461
00:32:35,855 --> 00:32:38,014
- Do you think this is a joke?
- No. Why do you think I'm here?

462
00:32:38,123 --> 00:32:41,852
- You have got to make sex a presence...
- I'm sorry.

463
00:32:41,958 --> 00:32:43,891
- in your mind, in your life...
- All right.

464
00:32:43,992 --> 00:32:45,788
- in your spirit.
- I'm sorry.

465
00:32:49,995 --> 00:32:53,451
- All right.
- What? No. I don't smoke.

466
00:32:53,564 --> 00:32:55,190
Better learn.

467
00:32:58,433 --> 00:33:01,298
- Okay.
- Come on.

468
00:33:10,006 --> 00:33:11,973
Here. Wait here.

469
00:33:30,984 --> 00:33:33,314
Okay. Stay on this side of me.

470
00:33:39,455 --> 00:33:40,921
Excuse us.

471
00:33:46,092 --> 00:33:48,558
In, in, in.
Go, go, go. Hurry.

472
00:33:51,828 --> 00:33:53,294
Oh, yeah.

473
00:33:56,964 --> 00:33:58,692
Okay. We're in.

474
00:33:59,765 --> 00:34:00,992
Good.

475
00:34:01,099 --> 00:34:04,294
So, first, a survey of the terrain.

476
00:34:09,537 --> 00:34:11,561
Technically, it's still happy hour.

477
00:34:12,639 --> 00:34:15,902
Your casual drinkers have yet
to pack it in. Lots of groups.

478
00:34:16,007 --> 00:34:19,168
Not exactly ideal for our purposes,
but not impossible.

479
00:34:19,276 --> 00:34:21,834
So, we need to make an impression.

480
00:34:21,943 --> 00:34:25,399
Send out a signal that back here
is the place to be.

481
00:34:25,512 --> 00:34:27,876
All right. What do you do?
What do you say?

482
00:34:27,980 --> 00:34:30,004
Who cares?
You're overcomplicating it.

483
00:34:30,114 --> 00:34:32,910
You spend the whole night sitting here
thinking of the perfect line...

484
00:34:33,016 --> 00:34:34,539
what good is that?

485
00:34:34,650 --> 00:34:39,641
Just make contact. Separate yourself
from the rabble. Watch this.

486
00:34:43,188 --> 00:34:46,155
Hey! Roses. Rosebud.

487
00:34:47,824 --> 00:34:49,552
Hi. Come here.

488
00:34:49,658 --> 00:34:51,454
Come here. Come here. Come here.

489
00:34:57,628 --> 00:35:01,289
Hi. Could you--

490
00:35:01,397 --> 00:35:04,057
Could I get you to take a-- Yeah.

491
00:35:07,934 --> 00:35:11,265
- Hey.
- Nick here thinks you're beautiful.

492
00:35:12,837 --> 00:35:15,804
If he's got such good taste,
what's he doing hanging out with you?

493
00:35:16,905 --> 00:35:18,394
Good question. Nick?

494
00:35:22,608 --> 00:35:26,406
- Because he's my uncle?
- How awful foryou.

495
00:35:29,846 --> 00:35:31,335
And so on.
No big deal, right?

496
00:35:31,446 --> 00:35:34,072
Now she's aware of our presence,
and we can plot our strategy.

497
00:35:34,181 --> 00:35:37,637
I'm gonna get us some drinks.
While I'm there, think of a hook.

498
00:35:38,583 --> 00:35:42,176
- What? A hook?
- A hook. A line. An opening salvo.

499
00:35:42,285 --> 00:35:46,219
Any minute now, Rosebud
is going to be standing right here...

500
00:35:46,321 --> 00:35:48,844
Iooking down at you,
and you're going to have one chance...

501
00:35:48,955 --> 00:35:52,582
to either hit it out of the park
or strike out miserably.

502
00:35:53,758 --> 00:35:54,917
Be ready.

503
00:36:30,543 --> 00:36:32,668
Oh, shit. Oh, shit.
Oh, shit.

504
00:36:35,012 --> 00:36:37,171
Oh, shit. Oh, shit.

505
00:36:40,749 --> 00:36:44,274
Hello, Nick. Your uncle says
you have something to tell me...

506
00:36:44,384 --> 00:36:47,112
that will absolutely blow my mind.

507
00:36:49,220 --> 00:36:52,847
- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah. Those were his exact words.

508
00:36:54,990 --> 00:36:57,081
Is he playing a little joke on us?

509
00:37:00,259 --> 00:37:02,521
No, no. He's serious.

510
00:37:02,627 --> 00:37:05,185
I mean, he's... totally serious.

511
00:37:06,162 --> 00:37:08,152
- Tonight.
- Sorry.

512
00:37:10,898 --> 00:37:13,524
Thanks. As I was--

513
00:37:13,633 --> 00:37:15,600
- Tonight.
- Right, I was saying that...

514
00:37:17,068 --> 00:37:19,159
I was saying that tonight is a--

515
00:37:19,269 --> 00:37:21,963
Tonight is
a very important night for me.

516
00:37:22,071 --> 00:37:24,697
I was just telling her
that we made a bet.

517
00:37:24,805 --> 00:37:28,102
- A bet?
- Uh-huh. We made a bet for $1,000.

518
00:37:31,542 --> 00:37:34,407
That I can get somebody to...

519
00:37:34,510 --> 00:37:36,500
Iike, fall in love with me.

520
00:37:39,646 --> 00:37:41,408
Really?

521
00:37:44,248 --> 00:37:47,579
Love. That's a hard thing to verify,
don't you think?

522
00:37:47,683 --> 00:37:50,081
No, I think we can do it.

523
00:37:50,185 --> 00:37:51,981
I'm confident we can.

524
00:37:53,687 --> 00:37:55,051
A thousand dollars?

525
00:37:55,154 --> 00:37:57,212
That's not exactly mind-blowing...

526
00:37:57,322 --> 00:38:00,721
but it's not the worse line
I'll hear tonight.

527
00:38:01,958 --> 00:38:03,857
What? Really?

528
00:38:04,725 --> 00:38:07,283
Yeah. Good job, Nick.

529
00:38:07,394 --> 00:38:10,122
- So, do we rate a sit-down?
- I'm waiting for a friend.

530
00:38:10,229 --> 00:38:12,128
I'll run it by her
when she shows up.

531
00:38:12,230 --> 00:38:14,924
Get her over here.
There's cash at stake.

532
00:38:15,031 --> 00:38:18,829
Ifwe do, who sits with who?

533
00:38:18,933 --> 00:38:21,456
Ladies' choice.
Natural selection.

534
00:38:27,404 --> 00:38:29,768
I wanna sit with him.

535
00:38:32,440 --> 00:38:34,407
Yes, yes.

536
00:38:47,281 --> 00:38:48,440
What is this?

537
00:38:48,548 --> 00:38:51,344
Rum and coke. I told him to mix it weak.
We got a long way to go here.

538
00:38:51,450 --> 00:38:54,315
- Okay. I don't drink.
- You kidding me? Take a drink.

539
00:38:54,418 --> 00:38:57,852
- I don't put alcohol into my body.
- You drink that drink.

540
00:38:59,621 --> 00:39:02,747
Loss of inhibition is crucial
to your success tonight, okay?

541
00:39:02,856 --> 00:39:05,618
Alcohol has been a social lubricant
for thousands ofyears.

542
00:39:05,724 --> 00:39:09,180
You thinkyou're gonna sit here tonight
and reinvent the wheel? Please.

543
00:39:14,696 --> 00:39:19,653
All right. Now, you did one
very good thing. You lied.

544
00:39:19,764 --> 00:39:22,788
You made something up.
Keep that part ofyour brain working.

545
00:39:22,900 --> 00:39:26,390
We get those girls over here, your first
instinct is gonna be to open up.

546
00:39:26,502 --> 00:39:29,833
To tell the truth.
Fight it! Just keep it interesting.

547
00:39:29,936 --> 00:39:33,335
Play up your novelty.
You're a 1 6-year-old in a bar.

548
00:39:33,439 --> 00:39:37,339
Why? "My father owns the bar."
You got a month to live.

549
00:39:37,441 --> 00:39:40,203
You're an actor researching--
I don't know. Improvise.

550
00:39:40,308 --> 00:39:42,706
Next, check the time.
What time is it?

551
00:39:42,810 --> 00:39:44,436
It's about 7:02.

552
00:39:44,544 --> 00:39:47,875
- Do you have a MedicAlert bracelet?
- No, it's instructions.

553
00:39:47,980 --> 00:39:50,674
I'm having my body cryogenically frozen
if I die prematurely.

554
00:39:57,951 --> 00:40:00,144
All right. Leave it.
It's spastic enough to be charming.

555
00:40:00,253 --> 00:40:02,651
So, the time. 7:00.

556
00:40:02,754 --> 00:40:06,279
We've got nine hours
until closing time. An eternity.

557
00:40:07,089 --> 00:40:09,180
Look at me, Nick,
and answer me this question.

558
00:40:09,290 --> 00:40:11,018
All right.

559
00:40:12,325 --> 00:40:15,884
Who is the greatest basketball player
in the history of the game?

560
00:40:17,394 --> 00:40:19,860
- Do you mean ever?
- Come on. This is easy.

561
00:40:21,230 --> 00:40:23,129
- Michael Jordan?
- Michael Jordan.

562
00:40:23,231 --> 00:40:25,527
Why was he the greatest?
Because he paced himself.

563
00:40:25,633 --> 00:40:27,861
Because he always
had something left at the finish.

564
00:40:27,966 --> 00:40:30,524
Magic Johnson called it "winning time."
See those guys over there?

565
00:40:34,103 --> 00:40:36,865
Yeah. Those guys think
they're kicking ass.

566
00:40:36,971 --> 00:40:38,699
Believe me, it is early.

567
00:40:38,805 --> 00:40:40,998
We are a long way from winning time,
so pay attention.

568
00:40:41,107 --> 00:40:43,165
- Okay.
- You say you want it.

569
00:40:43,275 --> 00:40:44,901
Ifyou really wanted it...

570
00:40:45,876 --> 00:40:49,469
you'd be in here, suffering the tortures
of the damned with those guys.

571
00:40:49,578 --> 00:40:51,806
- What?
- There's a big difference between...

572
00:40:51,913 --> 00:40:55,312
being horny and being willing
to put in the time night after night--

573
00:40:55,414 --> 00:40:58,904
I want it. Okay? I go to high school.
You don't think that's torture?

574
00:40:59,016 --> 00:41:01,175
This is a lot of information.

575
00:41:01,284 --> 00:41:03,308
I'm giving you
the keys to the kingdom.

576
00:41:03,418 --> 00:41:04,679
Yeah, I know.

577
00:41:04,786 --> 00:41:06,979
How many boys your age
get an opportunity like this?

578
00:41:07,087 --> 00:41:08,053
Yes.

579
00:41:08,154 --> 00:41:10,916
So, stickyour finger down your throat.
Drink ice water, call it gin--

580
00:41:11,023 --> 00:41:14,650
I don't care what you do. Be ready
to dive in at the moment of truth.

581
00:41:17,159 --> 00:41:21,321
So... how often do you, like...

582
00:41:22,461 --> 00:41:24,927
you know, like, get somebody
to go home with you?

583
00:41:27,698 --> 00:41:29,255
Every night.

584
00:41:30,033 --> 00:41:31,056
Bullshit.

585
00:41:31,166 --> 00:41:33,860
Just because you're not having sex,
doesn't mean the rest of us...

586
00:41:33,968 --> 00:41:35,764
are sitting around playing cribbage.

587
00:41:38,170 --> 00:41:39,693
What's cribbage?

588
00:41:41,672 --> 00:41:43,797
- What? What?
- Here we go. Here we go.

589
00:41:44,839 --> 00:41:47,237
Here they come. This is so stupid.
They're, like, twice my age.

590
00:41:47,341 --> 00:41:50,365
Champions refuse to lose.
Be like Mike.

591
00:41:50,476 --> 00:41:53,034
Here we are. As promised.
For one drink.

592
00:41:53,144 --> 00:41:57,601
- I'm Andrea, and this is Sophie.
- I'm Roger. This is my nephew, Nick.

593
00:41:57,713 --> 00:42:00,043
- Hi.
- He really is, like, 1 6.

594
00:42:00,148 --> 00:42:02,047
- I told you.
- Sit down.

595
00:42:02,149 --> 00:42:04,116
How'd you get in here, Nick?

596
00:42:04,217 --> 00:42:07,946
It's funny you should... ask me that.

597
00:42:08,052 --> 00:42:12,077
'Cause we were, before,
discussing it, and--

598
00:42:13,188 --> 00:42:14,313
Neveryou mind.

599
00:42:14,422 --> 00:42:16,980
I'm enjoying the air of intrigue
Nick brings to our booth.

600
00:42:17,090 --> 00:42:19,613
- Cheers, everyone.
- I told Sophie about your little bet.

601
00:42:19,725 --> 00:42:21,191
She thinks you're full of it.

602
00:42:21,292 --> 00:42:22,849
There's nothing little
about a thousand dollars.

603
00:42:22,960 --> 00:42:25,552
He's got to get someone
to fall in love with him?

604
00:42:25,661 --> 00:42:28,219
- A woman.
- A woman?

605
00:42:28,330 --> 00:42:31,525
Does it have to be a woman?
What if some guy takes a shine to you?

606
00:42:33,065 --> 00:42:35,531
I guess that would count, 'cause we
never discussed what gender--

607
00:42:35,633 --> 00:42:39,397
If Nick is willing to exploit that
little loophole, he can have the money.

608
00:42:39,501 --> 00:42:42,024
- What were you guys talking about?
- I don't know.

609
00:42:42,136 --> 00:42:46,070
- What were we talking about?
- We were talking about women.

610
00:42:46,172 --> 00:42:49,628
Specifically, the pleasure to be derived
from admiring the female form.

611
00:42:51,342 --> 00:42:53,831
Imagine what it feels like
to be admired all day long.

612
00:42:53,942 --> 00:42:56,738
- Really.
- You'd rather be completely anonymous?

613
00:42:56,844 --> 00:42:58,674
- Not completely anonymous.
- Not anonymous.

614
00:42:58,778 --> 00:43:01,802
I myselfwould welcome the sensation
of a hundred pair of eyes...

615
00:43:01,913 --> 00:43:04,311
caressing my... booty
as I walk down the street.

616
00:43:04,414 --> 00:43:05,846
Guys always say that.

617
00:43:05,949 --> 00:43:08,279
Yeah. "We'd love it ifwomen
were always staring."

618
00:43:08,383 --> 00:43:09,542
We would.

619
00:43:09,651 --> 00:43:12,743
You would love it if no woman ever
listened to a word you were saying...

620
00:43:12,852 --> 00:43:16,581
and just kept her eyes locked on
your chest oryour crotch?

621
00:43:16,687 --> 00:43:18,949
If it led to having sex all the time,
I would not mind.

622
00:43:19,055 --> 00:43:22,147
You could deal with never being heard,
never being taken seriously?

623
00:43:22,258 --> 00:43:25,248
If I had something that needed saying,
I would wait until right after sex.

624
00:43:26,926 --> 00:43:30,087
Seriously, for a second,
just stop saying the obvious thing.

625
00:43:30,195 --> 00:43:32,991
Think what it would be like
if on every bus...

626
00:43:33,096 --> 00:43:36,495
there were huge pictures
ofyour naked body.

627
00:43:36,598 --> 00:43:39,724
- And on every billboard--
- Magazine.

628
00:43:39,833 --> 00:43:42,095
That's right--
it was just about your body.

629
00:43:42,201 --> 00:43:46,226
There was so much time and money and
energy spent obsessing and analyzing...

630
00:43:46,336 --> 00:43:49,497
trying to get a glimpse ofyour body,
that soon it felt like...

631
00:43:49,605 --> 00:43:51,504
the world had forgotten
about everything else...

632
00:43:51,606 --> 00:43:53,664
and you end up feeling...

633
00:43:53,774 --> 00:43:56,468
disconnected from your own body,
like it's not even yours.

634
00:43:58,109 --> 00:44:01,167
Ifyou're really serious about
avoiding the male gaze--

635
00:44:01,278 --> 00:44:04,734
- If the goal is anonymity--
- I never said the goal was anonymity.

636
00:44:04,846 --> 00:44:06,574
Here's a little suggestion, okay?

637
00:44:06,680 --> 00:44:08,908
Putting on makeup.
Styling your hair.

638
00:44:09,015 --> 00:44:13,040
Wearing a killer outfit and coming to
a place like this on a Friday night.

639
00:44:13,150 --> 00:44:16,276
That's when it gets interesting,
because at a certain point...

640
00:44:16,386 --> 00:44:19,182
- you start internalizing the male gaze.
- Not the best course of action.

641
00:44:19,287 --> 00:44:21,845
Male gaze. Madison Avenue.
Fucking patriarchy.

642
00:44:21,955 --> 00:44:23,854
Whatever it is,
it's done its number on you.

643
00:44:23,956 --> 00:44:27,287
Do you thinkyou have any control
over who you find attractive?

644
00:44:27,391 --> 00:44:30,085
- Of course we do.
- I think not, and I'll prove it to you.

645
00:44:30,192 --> 00:44:35,491
Ask any woman, "What's the single most
attractive quality a man can possess?

646
00:44:35,595 --> 00:44:38,027
- And what do they invariably answer?
- Sense of humor.

647
00:44:38,130 --> 00:44:40,596
- Sense of humor.
- Sense of humor is huge. Definitely.

648
00:44:40,698 --> 00:44:45,155
And yet, if two lean, mean,
play-by-their-own-rules...

649
00:44:45,267 --> 00:44:49,724
motorcycle-riding men
strolled up to this booth...

650
00:44:49,836 --> 00:44:53,736
and beat the shit out of us
two humorous guys, right...

651
00:44:54,571 --> 00:44:57,037
and asked you out for a ride,
you would be weak at the knees.

652
00:44:57,140 --> 00:44:59,470
- No way.
- Weak at the knees.

653
00:44:59,574 --> 00:45:02,200
Well, actually, guys who ride cycles
are pretty sexy.

654
00:45:02,310 --> 00:45:04,435
- Thank you. You see?
- Sorry.

655
00:45:04,544 --> 00:45:08,773
The fact is that touchy-feely, weepy,
in-touch-with-their-feelings guys...

656
00:45:08,879 --> 00:45:10,812
make you sick--
you're repulsed by them.

657
00:45:10,913 --> 00:45:13,539
Give me the Ice Age, okay?
Survival of the fittest.

658
00:45:13,648 --> 00:45:17,207
No mixed signals. No bullshit.

659
00:45:17,317 --> 00:45:20,546
Just the meanest, hairiest bastard
wins all the time.

660
00:45:20,652 --> 00:45:22,448
Let's change the subject right now.

661
00:45:22,553 --> 00:45:27,317
You know, it's interesting.
All this looking is so masculine.

662
00:45:27,423 --> 00:45:30,151
I mean, you guys
are just about the visuals.

663
00:45:30,257 --> 00:45:32,985
Really. Why is it that when
I'm going down on a guy--

664
00:45:33,092 --> 00:45:35,854
- Sophie!
- No, really.

665
00:45:35,959 --> 00:45:38,289
Why is it
that when I'm doing my thing...

666
00:45:38,394 --> 00:45:40,293
why is it that men
always insist on watching?

667
00:45:40,395 --> 00:45:43,328
Why can't you just close your eyes
and concentrate on the feeling?

668
00:45:43,431 --> 00:45:45,624
It's not the most flattering activity
for a woman.

669
00:45:45,732 --> 00:45:48,460
I'm not sure that that's a--
Maybe we can help.

670
00:45:48,566 --> 00:45:52,364
Nick, jump in here.
A woman is doing her thing.

671
00:45:53,636 --> 00:45:55,603
Why do we have to watch?

672
00:45:59,072 --> 00:46:02,039
Well, maybe to make sure
that it's actually happening?

673
00:46:03,174 --> 00:46:05,606
I'll buy that.
Make sure we're not hallucinating.

674
00:46:05,709 --> 00:46:09,404
And maybe to file it away, in case
it's a long time before the next one.

675
00:46:09,510 --> 00:46:12,966
Two excellent answers. Perhaps you'd
elaborate on the filing it away part?

676
00:46:13,080 --> 00:46:14,569
File it away for what?

677
00:46:16,481 --> 00:46:18,970
- Oh. I don't know.
- Come on, Nick.

678
00:46:19,083 --> 00:46:21,549
We're finally treading on
some familiar territory here.

679
00:46:21,650 --> 00:46:25,015
Mom's in the kitchen
making Jell-O with fruit.

680
00:46:25,119 --> 00:46:27,244
- You lockyourself in the bathroom--
- Don't sweat it, Nick.

681
00:46:27,354 --> 00:46:29,253
I grew up with three brothers.

682
00:46:29,355 --> 00:46:32,151
The closets were pornography museums.
More visuals.

683
00:46:33,023 --> 00:46:34,990
You're right about the visual thing.

684
00:46:35,091 --> 00:46:36,990
It always drives me nuts
when I hear a guy...

685
00:46:37,092 --> 00:46:39,991
going on about something a girl does
that's supposed to be so sexy.

686
00:46:40,094 --> 00:46:43,528
- Like what kind of thing?
- Like how she flips her hair.

687
00:46:43,628 --> 00:46:45,924
How she stands with one foot
to the side. It could be anything.

688
00:46:46,030 --> 00:46:48,428
- What's wrong with that?
- Because that's nothing.

689
00:46:48,531 --> 00:46:50,395
That's just something she does.

690
00:46:50,499 --> 00:46:53,523
And she probably only does it
because she saw it in a movie.

691
00:46:53,633 --> 00:46:55,657
It's not their real stuff.

692
00:46:55,768 --> 00:46:58,894
All that stuff-- the hair flips,
the mannerisms, the catch phrases.

693
00:46:59,003 --> 00:47:02,732
They add up to the personality.
So they are what's real.

694
00:47:02,839 --> 00:47:06,170
Yeah, but it's all the outside stuff.
That's fine in the beginning.

695
00:47:06,273 --> 00:47:08,001
You need the outside stuff.

696
00:47:08,108 --> 00:47:10,007
You need, like,
the reasons to be in love.

697
00:47:10,109 --> 00:47:12,008
But you can get past that
to the part...

698
00:47:12,110 --> 00:47:13,736
where the little tricks
don't mean anything.

699
00:47:13,844 --> 00:47:16,936
I say you are attracted to
what is in front ofyou. End of story.

700
00:47:17,046 --> 00:47:18,273
How romantic.

701
00:47:19,880 --> 00:47:22,073
It takes years and years together.

702
00:47:22,181 --> 00:47:23,807
- Yeah?
- I can't describe it exactly...

703
00:47:23,916 --> 00:47:26,075
but it's like there's nothing
she can do.

704
00:47:26,183 --> 00:47:29,082
All her usual ways of hooking you in
have no effect...

705
00:47:29,185 --> 00:47:31,175
and yet you're still in love.

706
00:47:31,286 --> 00:47:33,185
It's like the act is over...

707
00:47:33,287 --> 00:47:35,220
and you get to the part
she's been hiding.

708
00:47:35,322 --> 00:47:39,120
And she's been hiding it
because she thinks that's the part...

709
00:47:39,224 --> 00:47:42,521
that's gonna blow it
or make you leave or get bored...

710
00:47:42,626 --> 00:47:46,185
but you get to that part,
and you're still there.

711
00:47:47,228 --> 00:47:49,751
And you're even more in love.

712
00:47:54,499 --> 00:47:55,726
Wow.

713
00:47:55,832 --> 00:47:59,061
Have you met my nephew?
His name is Jesus.

714
00:47:59,168 --> 00:48:00,964
How old are you, Nick?

715
00:48:01,069 --> 00:48:02,365
I'm 1 6.

716
00:48:02,469 --> 00:48:05,994
Stay strong, Sophie. There's
a thousand of my dollars at stake here.

717
00:48:06,104 --> 00:48:08,730
Are we still on a one-drink limit?

718
00:48:08,839 --> 00:48:11,863
- I think we can have one more.
- Yeah, I'm in.

719
00:48:11,974 --> 00:48:14,202
Great.
Scootch out of there, Sophie.

720
00:48:14,308 --> 00:48:16,366
- Who wants what?
- Sophie knows what I like.

721
00:48:16,476 --> 00:48:19,068
- Just some ice water, please.
- Okay, that's charming.

722
00:48:19,178 --> 00:48:20,303
Nick?

723
00:48:20,412 --> 00:48:24,312
A player might consider taking advantage
of this time alone with Andrea.

724
00:48:24,414 --> 00:48:27,108
Andrea. Yeah.
You can take your time.

725
00:48:37,154 --> 00:48:39,121
- Hi.
- Hey.

726
00:48:40,689 --> 00:48:42,882
- What's the deal with your uncle?
- I don't know.

727
00:48:42,991 --> 00:48:46,254
This is really the first time
I've hung out with him socially.

728
00:48:47,126 --> 00:48:50,218
- Do you live in the city?
- I live in Ohio with my mom.

729
00:48:51,162 --> 00:48:53,129
She and Roger
don't really speak anymore.

730
00:48:53,962 --> 00:48:55,223
Ohio?

731
00:48:56,264 --> 00:48:58,389
Do you have a girlfriend back home?

732
00:48:59,499 --> 00:49:01,466
No. Not right now.

733
00:49:10,172 --> 00:49:13,835
Nick, can you do me a favor?

734
00:49:13,942 --> 00:49:15,409
Okay.

735
00:49:25,756 --> 00:49:27,519
Pick that up.

736
00:49:30,862 --> 00:49:33,490
- Protein for stamina.
- Let's switch, Andrea.

737
00:49:33,598 --> 00:49:36,192
- Okay. I suppose it's your turn.
- Yeah, good idea.

738
00:49:36,302 --> 00:49:40,534
Keep things fresh
and help us fight that second-round lag.

739
00:49:40,639 --> 00:49:43,199
- What's that?
- That's a conversational lag...

740
00:49:43,310 --> 00:49:46,643
that often occurs after the ordering
of the second round.

741
00:49:46,746 --> 00:49:50,443
Actually, Nick was telling me about you
and your relationship with his mother.

742
00:49:50,551 --> 00:49:54,214
- No secret there. She's my sister.
- Your relationship with her.

743
00:49:54,323 --> 00:49:57,349
Not your relationship to her.
Nick says they don't speak.

744
00:49:57,459 --> 00:50:00,553
That's terrible.
I mean, you need your family.

745
00:50:00,663 --> 00:50:03,860
- Yeah.
- What do you think happened, Nick?

746
00:50:04,901 --> 00:50:08,166
My mom's a lot older than Roger.
Like nine years.

747
00:50:08,272 --> 00:50:10,536
You must have been quite
the little surprise, Roger.

748
00:50:10,641 --> 00:50:13,337
A nine-year gap doesn't necessarily mean
an unplanned pregnancy.

749
00:50:14,946 --> 00:50:17,813
But, apparently, I did come
as a bit of a surprise.

750
00:50:17,916 --> 00:50:19,884
Really? I didn't know that.

751
00:50:19,986 --> 00:50:22,386
That doesn't explain why you
and your sister don't get along.

752
00:50:22,488 --> 00:50:25,184
Let's just say
we don't have much in common.

753
00:50:25,959 --> 00:50:29,395
My mom says that when Roger was little,
he could talk himself out of anything.

754
00:50:29,496 --> 00:50:31,623
He never got in trouble,
even when he got caught.

755
00:50:31,733 --> 00:50:35,999
- She called him "Roger Dodger."
- That's perfect foryou.

756
00:50:36,104 --> 00:50:39,403
There's nothing wrong with a high
verbal ability. Nick's got it too.

757
00:50:39,508 --> 00:50:41,635
I wanna be like Granddad.
He almost never talks.

758
00:50:41,744 --> 00:50:44,269
But when he does,
everyone kind of leans forward.

759
00:50:44,381 --> 00:50:46,349
You know, my dad's like that.

760
00:50:46,449 --> 00:50:49,077
The difference being that what
my father has to say is usually...

761
00:50:49,185 --> 00:50:51,210
some variation on,
"Get me another scotch."

762
00:50:51,322 --> 00:50:53,586
- Like father, like son?
- No, like daughter.

763
00:50:53,691 --> 00:50:55,318
- I get my--
- Whose daughter?

764
00:50:55,426 --> 00:50:57,951
- What do you mean, "like daughter?'
- No joke.

765
00:50:58,063 --> 00:51:01,590
Mom keeps a bottle in the
laundry basket. She has foryears.

766
00:51:03,703 --> 00:51:05,227
- Oh, God, Nick.
- That's awful.

767
00:51:05,338 --> 00:51:09,035
She's not a wreck or anything.
She's just-- What do you call it?

768
00:51:09,143 --> 00:51:11,077
- High-functioning.
- Yeah. That's Susan all right.

769
00:51:11,178 --> 00:51:13,146
She's always functioned
at a high level.

770
00:51:13,247 --> 00:51:17,013
- She's just really high, you know?
- How can you joke about that?

771
00:51:17,118 --> 00:51:19,643
You can joke about anything
that has to do with yourself.

772
00:51:19,754 --> 00:51:21,745
It's a basic human right.
Isn't that right, Nick?

773
00:51:23,092 --> 00:51:25,754
I think that's constitutional
or something.

774
00:51:25,861 --> 00:51:29,160
Freedom of speech.
Freedom to joke.

775
00:51:29,266 --> 00:51:31,530
You know what?
I need the ladies' room.

776
00:51:31,635 --> 00:51:33,967
Let's let the boys discuss
these new revelations.

777
00:51:34,072 --> 00:51:35,630
- Good idea.
- I don't-- All right.

778
00:51:35,740 --> 00:51:37,207
All right.

779
00:51:39,478 --> 00:51:41,446
Be careful.
We'll be waiting.

780
00:51:43,248 --> 00:51:45,148
Are you sure you want
to get laid tonight?

781
00:51:45,250 --> 00:51:46,877
I thought you would
like to know that.

782
00:51:46,987 --> 00:51:48,887
I am not the one
who is here to learn.

783
00:51:48,989 --> 00:51:50,889
For most of us,
this is a forgetting place.

784
00:51:50,991 --> 00:51:52,822
- All right?
- We were talking about Granddad.

785
00:51:52,927 --> 00:51:54,827
- I figured--
- You felt qualified to jump in...

786
00:51:54,929 --> 00:51:56,829
and expound
on that particular topic?

787
00:51:56,931 --> 00:51:58,330
That's right. I'm sorry.

788
00:51:58,433 --> 00:52:01,493
You're an expert on that subject now.
You guys are joined at the fucking hip.

789
00:52:01,603 --> 00:52:03,503
I wanted to keep
the conversation going.

790
00:52:03,605 --> 00:52:05,869
There are four of us
in this booth.

791
00:52:05,975 --> 00:52:08,034
Think of it
as a game of bridge.

792
00:52:10,146 --> 00:52:13,411
In bridge, you have
two sets of partners, okay?

793
00:52:13,517 --> 00:52:15,417
Ifyou hope to become
the kind of man...

794
00:52:15,519 --> 00:52:17,419
that other men
choose to go into battle with...

795
00:52:17,522 --> 00:52:19,888
you have to learn
to read your partner.

796
00:52:19,991 --> 00:52:22,960
It should have been obvious I don't want
to talk about the family tonight.

797
00:52:23,996 --> 00:52:25,224
A little while ago...

798
00:52:25,331 --> 00:52:28,164
we were listening to Sophie
describe herself giving a blow job.

799
00:52:28,267 --> 00:52:30,167
Don't you think that's
slightly more fertile ground...

800
00:52:30,270 --> 00:52:32,898
than what's at the bottom
ofyour mother's laundry basket?

801
00:52:34,808 --> 00:52:37,606
Pull your weight and steer
the conversation back...

802
00:52:37,712 --> 00:52:40,112
to something
in the same universe as sex.

803
00:52:40,214 --> 00:52:43,672
Remember, the thing that was supposed
to be the primary focus this evening?

804
00:52:43,786 --> 00:52:45,481
Don't make me resort
to the fail-safe.

805
00:52:47,389 --> 00:52:50,187
- Where are you going?
- Excuse me.

806
00:52:50,293 --> 00:52:52,284
No. Bad idea.

807
00:52:52,395 --> 00:52:53,794
Ah,Jesus.

808
00:53:23,898 --> 00:53:25,991
Everything okay over there?

809
00:53:26,102 --> 00:53:28,002
No. I can't go
with you standing there.

810
00:53:28,104 --> 00:53:31,005
- Why not?
- I just can't. Get out of here.

811
00:53:31,107 --> 00:53:33,803
Can't go through life
with a shy bladder, Nick.

812
00:53:33,910 --> 00:53:35,878
You're gonna be spending
a lot of time in bars.

813
00:53:35,979 --> 00:53:37,947
Most of them will have restrooms
just like this one.

814
00:53:39,317 --> 00:53:41,615
Fine. Then you go.
You go first.

815
00:53:41,719 --> 00:53:44,688
I don't have to.
Just came in to rinse my hands.

816
00:53:46,391 --> 00:53:47,824
Forget it.

817
00:53:52,398 --> 00:53:55,162
- Let's go, kid.
- No, look. I'm with somebody.

818
00:53:56,337 --> 00:53:58,771
Uncle Roger, could you
please tell him? He doesn't--

819
00:53:58,873 --> 00:54:01,239
- How you doing?
- No, I don't know him.

820
00:54:01,342 --> 00:54:03,242
- Bedtime, kid. Let's go.
- Uncle Roger.

821
00:54:03,345 --> 00:54:05,313
- Come on, kid. Out.
- Could you please--

822
00:54:06,181 --> 00:54:08,979
He's my-- Uncle Roger!
Really, go back in there.

823
00:54:10,586 --> 00:54:12,451
Look, I'm an actor.
I'm researching a role.

824
00:54:12,555 --> 00:54:14,523
- Good luck with that.
- Okay.

825
00:54:44,859 --> 00:54:46,486
- You okay?
- Oh, hey.

826
00:54:46,595 --> 00:54:49,564
I guess I should've waited
to use the bathroom.

827
00:54:49,665 --> 00:54:53,362
Okay. Unless the novelty of hanging out
with prom king here has worn off...

828
00:54:53,469 --> 00:54:56,097
I suggest we get a bottle
and find someplace with a view.

829
00:55:00,010 --> 00:55:03,309
- All right. Let's find a view.
- Let's find a view. Ladies.

830
00:55:23,036 --> 00:55:25,334
- That was close.
- That's good. Thank you.

831
00:55:25,440 --> 00:55:27,704
- This is the finest.
- That's good.Just a little bit.

832
00:55:27,809 --> 00:55:28,935
Thankyou.

833
00:55:29,043 --> 00:55:31,671
Just a little. That's good.
That's good.

834
00:55:33,649 --> 00:55:35,446
- How do you like the wine?
- I like it.

835
00:55:35,551 --> 00:55:37,542
It makes my chest feel warm.

836
00:55:37,654 --> 00:55:40,248
- Roger, you're a bad influence.
- Yes, I am.

837
00:55:40,357 --> 00:55:42,757
- Alcohol, women of loose morals.
- And gambling.

838
00:55:42,860 --> 00:55:44,327
That's right. Gambling.

839
00:55:44,428 --> 00:55:46,623
I don't see Nick complaining.

840
00:55:46,731 --> 00:55:49,029
Although I have to say,
forwomen ofloose morals...

841
00:55:50,102 --> 00:55:53,196
conversation has been
pretty tame so far tonight.

842
00:55:54,172 --> 00:55:57,539
With the notable exception
of Sophie's oral presentation.

843
00:55:57,644 --> 00:55:58,736
Shut up.

844
00:55:58,845 --> 00:56:02,611
It'd be helpful for Nick to hear more of
the female perspective of the sex act.

845
00:56:02,716 --> 00:56:04,741
- Do you agree?
- God.

846
00:56:05,519 --> 00:56:07,180
Where to begin?

847
00:56:07,289 --> 00:56:09,257
Nick will get us started. Nick?

848
00:56:13,696 --> 00:56:15,163
Go ahead.

849
00:56:15,865 --> 00:56:17,765
Ask away.
Any question you like.

850
00:56:17,867 --> 00:56:19,061
Keep it interesting.

851
00:56:19,168 --> 00:56:20,465
All right.

852
00:56:23,540 --> 00:56:25,974
I guess I'd like to know
what your first time was like.

853
00:56:27,011 --> 00:56:29,411
- That's what you come up with?
- That is a great question.

854
00:56:29,514 --> 00:56:30,811
Thankyou.

855
00:56:32,117 --> 00:56:33,584
I'll go first.

856
00:56:36,855 --> 00:56:40,018
- It was my junioryear.
- High school or college?

857
00:56:41,394 --> 00:56:42,952
High school.

858
00:56:43,063 --> 00:56:45,827
His name was Bobby Rushton,
and we weren't even dating.

859
00:56:45,933 --> 00:56:49,425
I just picked him out one day
and decided he was gonna be the one.

860
00:56:49,537 --> 00:56:51,835
- Why did you pick him?
- Sense of humor?

861
00:56:52,874 --> 00:56:55,775
Ha-ha. He was funny,
as I remember, but...

862
00:56:55,877 --> 00:56:58,675
it was something more than that.

863
00:56:58,781 --> 00:57:02,080
It was like this vibe.

864
00:57:02,185 --> 00:57:04,153
I knew he would be nice.

865
00:57:04,254 --> 00:57:07,849
He wasn't very popular, and I didn't
think he'd brag about me to his friends.

866
00:57:07,958 --> 00:57:10,688
- That's half the fun.
- Well, he didn't.

867
00:57:10,795 --> 00:57:12,763
He was just as nervous as I was.

868
00:57:13,999 --> 00:57:16,058
Which is part of the reason
that I picked him...

869
00:57:16,168 --> 00:57:19,365
because I think
I wanted to have some control.

870
00:57:19,472 --> 00:57:22,441
- You know?
- You were his first as well then?

871
00:57:22,542 --> 00:57:25,705
Yeah. In fact, I went with him
to go get the condoms.

872
00:57:25,812 --> 00:57:27,837
We biked all the way across town...

873
00:57:27,949 --> 00:57:30,440
because we were so afraid
someone might see us.

874
00:57:30,551 --> 00:57:32,985
- We planned the thing for a month.
- I love this story.

875
00:57:33,821 --> 00:57:37,257
- Yes.
- So, where did you, you know?

876
00:57:38,927 --> 00:57:41,452
It was in my house,
in my room.

877
00:57:42,298 --> 00:57:44,266
My parents were away
for the weekend.

878
00:57:44,367 --> 00:57:48,030
- Did you bleed?
- The usual. Not too bad.

879
00:57:48,139 --> 00:57:50,107
Wait. So it hurts the first time?

880
00:57:51,909 --> 00:57:54,241
Well, it really hurts...

881
00:57:55,781 --> 00:57:57,749
that first second.

882
00:57:58,918 --> 00:58:01,716
And then after that,
it's just new.

883
00:58:01,821 --> 00:58:05,882
You know? It's like this
new feeling foryour body.

884
00:58:05,993 --> 00:58:07,426
So how was he?

885
00:58:08,662 --> 00:58:11,688
- Matter of seconds?
- No way! He kept going like a champ.

886
00:58:11,800 --> 00:58:13,995
I had to ask him
to hurry up, actually.

887
00:58:14,102 --> 00:58:15,399
- Ow!
- Yeah.

888
00:58:15,503 --> 00:58:19,735
He did admit to masturbating like crazy
beforehand so he wouldn't just--

889
00:58:19,842 --> 00:58:23,073
- Like he wasn't doing that already.
- No, he sounds like a nice guy.

890
00:58:23,179 --> 00:58:25,443
- He sounds like a dream come true.
- He was a nice guy.

891
00:58:25,549 --> 00:58:27,983
He's a cop now.
He's got four kids.

892
00:58:28,085 --> 00:58:30,519
Early sex
is an absolute humiliation.

893
00:58:30,621 --> 00:58:34,580
Oh. Speak foryourself.
My first time was wonderful.

894
00:58:34,692 --> 00:58:36,387
Oh, yeah?

895
00:58:36,495 --> 00:58:38,463
Let me take a wild guess.

896
00:58:39,665 --> 00:58:41,860
- An older gentleman.
- Right you are.

897
00:58:41,967 --> 00:58:43,434
- Married?
- Right again.

898
00:58:44,637 --> 00:58:46,070
How old were you?

899
00:58:46,172 --> 00:58:48,572
I was 1 9.
Freshman in college.

900
00:58:48,676 --> 00:58:51,474
Guess you didn't spend a lot of time
getting to know your roommates.

901
00:58:51,579 --> 00:58:55,413
No. No, I don't even remember
what they look like.

902
00:58:56,551 --> 00:58:58,348
So what happened?

903
00:58:59,688 --> 00:59:03,522
Well, believe it or not,
he ended up staying with his wife.

904
00:59:04,627 --> 00:59:06,185
What are the odds?

905
00:59:06,295 --> 00:59:08,263
What did you do when you realized
he wasn't going to leave her?

906
00:59:08,365 --> 00:59:11,596
Well, Nick,
I got over it eventually...

907
00:59:11,702 --> 00:59:13,670
and vowed
not to repeat the mistake.

908
00:59:13,771 --> 00:59:16,797
- And how's that going?
- Some months are better than others.

909
00:59:16,908 --> 00:59:18,341
- Uh-huh.
- Sophie--

910
00:59:18,443 --> 00:59:20,673
- I didn't say anything.
- What can I do? They're all married.

911
00:59:20,779 --> 00:59:22,940
I promised I would not be a nag.
It's okay.

912
00:59:23,048 --> 00:59:25,312
You, hotshot.
Tell us about your first time.

913
00:59:28,355 --> 00:59:32,121
Actually, I think Nick's story
is much more interesting. Nick?

914
00:59:33,161 --> 00:59:35,459
- This I want to hear.
- Yeah.

915
00:59:38,065 --> 00:59:39,794
Nicholas?

916
00:59:39,902 --> 00:59:43,030
Well, this is hard to admit, but...

917
00:59:44,741 --> 00:59:47,369
I've never had sex.

918
00:59:52,116 --> 00:59:53,913
You're a virgin?

919
00:59:55,152 --> 00:59:56,380
Yes.

920
01:00:01,193 --> 01:00:03,491
That is so sexy.
Am I right?

921
01:00:03,596 --> 01:00:05,496
- It's hot.
- Really?

922
01:00:05,598 --> 01:00:07,259
- Yeah.
- Do you have a girlfriend?

923
01:00:07,366 --> 01:00:09,960
- No. Never.
- Have you ever kissed a girl?

924
01:00:10,070 --> 01:00:12,971
Yeah, a couple of times in junior high
playing truth or dare...

925
01:00:13,073 --> 01:00:15,667
but they weren't like real kisses.

926
01:00:15,777 --> 01:00:17,108
No tongue?

927
01:00:17,879 --> 01:00:21,042
I guess, but more than that.
They were just stiff.

928
01:00:21,149 --> 01:00:23,049
Not like I imagined
that they should be.

929
01:00:23,152 --> 01:00:25,450
Nick, come here for a second.

930
01:00:29,192 --> 01:00:30,887
Oh, my God.

931
01:00:54,054 --> 01:00:56,318
Now, don't fall in love with me
or anything, okay?

932
01:00:58,192 --> 01:01:00,353
That was just to get you
through junioryear.

933
01:01:00,462 --> 01:01:02,089
All right.

934
01:01:05,401 --> 01:01:07,426
I couldn't resist
being your first kiss.

935
01:01:07,536 --> 01:01:08,764
That's right.

936
01:01:08,871 --> 01:01:12,136
Forever and ever,
you will be his first kiss.

937
01:01:13,010 --> 01:01:15,103
- Get away from me.
- Come on. For symmetry.

938
01:01:15,212 --> 01:01:17,180
No, not a chance. Nick.

939
01:01:17,982 --> 01:01:20,746
- How do you feel?
- My heart is beating really fast.

940
01:01:20,852 --> 01:01:23,320
- He knows just what to say.
- Is he a good kisser?

941
01:01:23,421 --> 01:01:26,254
Oh, he's gonna break some hearts.

942
01:01:27,092 --> 01:01:28,821
How 'bout down below, Nick?

943
01:01:28,927 --> 01:01:31,088
Any, you know,
vertical displacement?

944
01:01:31,197 --> 01:01:33,859
Leave him alone.
How you doing, Casanova?

945
01:01:33,967 --> 01:01:35,594
- I'm okay.
- Sure?

946
01:01:35,702 --> 01:01:37,329
- Yeah.
- Okay.

947
01:01:37,438 --> 01:01:40,805
Look, I confess. I'm married.
I keep my ring in my wallet.

948
01:01:40,908 --> 01:01:42,876
Even ifyou were married.

949
01:01:47,516 --> 01:01:48,983
Yeah, yeah.

950
01:01:51,754 --> 01:01:52,812
So, Nick.

951
01:01:52,922 --> 01:01:56,187
Take a moment to file this away
for later. You understand what I mean?

952
01:01:57,461 --> 01:01:58,519
Just think, Sophie.

953
01:01:59,463 --> 01:02:02,864
In the next six months, every time
Nick jerks off, he'll be picturing you.

954
01:02:02,967 --> 01:02:04,832
- Don't be an asshole.
- I don't do that, okay?

955
01:02:04,936 --> 01:02:07,336
It's true.
Okay, so I'm not married.

956
01:02:07,440 --> 01:02:09,499
What's important is
the emotional unavailability, right?

957
01:02:09,608 --> 01:02:11,576
- That's what you look for.
- I'm leaving.

958
01:02:13,847 --> 01:02:16,315
And, Sophie, you've even provided
young Nicholas here...

959
01:02:16,416 --> 01:02:19,408
with a particular image
to help structure his fantasy.

960
01:02:20,655 --> 01:02:22,555
Fuckyou, Roger.
Do you have a place to stay tonight?

961
01:02:22,657 --> 01:02:25,091
- He's staying with me.
- You can come with us.

962
01:02:25,193 --> 01:02:28,856
He's with me. Unless you're finally
ready to do something constructive.

963
01:02:28,964 --> 01:02:31,364
Like help Nick have an orgasm,
huh, Sophie?

964
01:02:31,467 --> 01:02:34,561
- It's time to cut your uncle loose.
- You're disgusting. We're outta here.

965
01:02:34,671 --> 01:02:36,161
- You take care.
- Andrea?

966
01:02:36,272 --> 01:02:37,830
- Oh, disgusting.
- Fuckyou.

967
01:02:37,941 --> 01:02:39,772
Ladies? I--

968
01:02:40,511 --> 01:02:42,411
Was it something he said?

969
01:02:42,513 --> 01:02:43,844
Asshole!

970
01:02:45,016 --> 01:02:47,883
But no. Don't I--
Okay, here's your chance.

971
01:02:47,986 --> 01:02:49,886
What are you talking about?
Why did you say that?

972
01:02:49,988 --> 01:02:51,683
Good cop, bad cop.

973
01:02:51,791 --> 01:02:54,225
I planted the seed.
Now go and close the deal, all right?

974
01:02:54,327 --> 01:02:56,318
- I can't go--
- You thinkyou'll get a better chance?

975
01:02:56,429 --> 01:02:58,761
Go, for Christ's sake,
and remember the primary objective.

976
01:02:58,866 --> 01:03:00,299
Go, go, go!

977
01:03:11,080 --> 01:03:13,048
Run, Nick, run.

978
01:03:20,891 --> 01:03:22,222
Sophie!

979
01:03:23,628 --> 01:03:26,995
Hey, Sophie. I'm sorry.

980
01:03:28,032 --> 01:03:30,432
Don't worry about it.
It's not your fault he's a jerk.

981
01:03:30,536 --> 01:03:34,063
I know. I wish it didn't
have to just end like this.

982
01:03:35,542 --> 01:03:37,169
We're going now.

983
01:03:38,044 --> 01:03:40,410
I suggest you
call offyour bet and go home.

984
01:03:41,215 --> 01:03:43,308
The bet thing
was just bullshit, okay?

985
01:03:44,985 --> 01:03:46,282
I know.

986
01:03:48,390 --> 01:03:50,187
You take it easy, okay?

987
01:03:50,292 --> 01:03:52,817
Look, I want us to--

988
01:03:54,363 --> 01:03:56,854
Don't spoil the wonderful time
we had tonight.

989
01:03:57,800 --> 01:03:59,427
You know?

990
01:04:05,710 --> 01:04:07,678
This is to remember me by.

991
01:04:17,156 --> 01:04:19,056
Take care, Nick.

992
01:04:19,159 --> 01:04:21,127
We need more men like you.

993
01:04:47,224 --> 01:04:48,748
Hey.

994
01:04:48,826 --> 01:04:49,918
What happened?

995
01:04:50,028 --> 01:04:51,825
What? Nothing happened.

996
01:04:52,864 --> 01:04:53,888
So you're oh for one.

997
01:04:53,999 --> 01:04:55,990
She wasn't gonna go for it.
I couldn't ask her.

998
01:04:56,102 --> 01:04:58,798
- You gonna sleep with Sophie tonight?
- It was obvious. She was not--

999
01:04:58,905 --> 01:05:01,738
Are you going to have sex
with Sophie tonight?

1000
01:05:04,878 --> 01:05:07,346
- No.
- Then I repeat: you're oh for one.

1001
01:05:07,447 --> 01:05:10,610
You need to learn how to finish.
Anyone can get halfway home.

1002
01:05:14,557 --> 01:05:16,752
We're switching to plan B. Hey!

1003
01:05:18,561 --> 01:05:21,189
I think a change ofvenue
will improve your luck.

1004
01:05:40,186 --> 01:05:42,211
Wait! Hold up! Stop!

1005
01:06:26,406 --> 01:06:28,897
Do me a favor.
Stay here till we're inside.

1006
01:06:29,010 --> 01:06:30,978
- So where we goin'?
- Finish up.

1007
01:06:33,914 --> 01:06:37,008
- We're going to a party. Come on.
- Whose party is it?

1008
01:06:39,388 --> 01:06:41,879
Fuck! Over here.
Over here.

1009
01:06:43,326 --> 01:06:45,419
Look at this.
Beautiful glasswork.

1010
01:07:00,646 --> 01:07:02,045
Whoa, whoa.

1011
01:07:06,019 --> 01:07:07,316
Why we running?

1012
01:07:07,421 --> 01:07:09,321
That doorman has
a hateful personality.

1013
01:07:09,423 --> 01:07:12,085
Listen up. It's gonna be
a whole new dynamic up there.

1014
01:07:12,193 --> 01:07:13,421
Stay focused.

1015
01:07:13,528 --> 01:07:16,088
Don't talk to any guys.
That's a definite rally-killer.

1016
01:07:16,197 --> 01:07:19,030
Keep moving at all times.
No hiding in the bathroom.

1017
01:07:19,802 --> 01:07:21,827
Here we are. Hey.

1018
01:07:25,275 --> 01:07:27,436
- Look who it is.
- Hey, Chris. How are you?

1019
01:07:27,544 --> 01:07:29,444
This is my nephew Nick.
Chris.

1020
01:07:29,546 --> 01:07:31,639
- How are you?
- How ya doin'?

1021
01:07:36,787 --> 01:07:39,779
Wait. Do you have
a bathroom I could use?

1022
01:07:39,891 --> 01:07:41,859
- A what?
- A bathroom I could use?

1023
01:07:41,960 --> 01:07:43,018
A what?

1024
01:07:43,963 --> 01:07:45,931
I've been trying to shake
this woman all night.

1025
01:07:47,900 --> 01:07:49,367
This is Donovan.

1026
01:07:49,470 --> 01:07:51,904
I'm the only one here
that's my age.

1027
01:07:52,005 --> 01:07:54,303
Where did you think we were going,
the junior prom?

1028
01:07:55,643 --> 01:07:57,167
I think I'm drunk.

1029
01:07:59,748 --> 01:08:00,874
Come here.

1030
01:08:03,586 --> 01:08:05,918
Nick. Do you know
where we are?

1031
01:08:07,189 --> 01:08:09,885
- I thinkyou said Greenwich Street.
- We're in winning time.

1032
01:08:09,993 --> 01:08:12,325
- Okay. Winning time.
- Right. Okay?

1033
01:08:12,429 --> 01:08:14,989
It's a little harder to recognize
than when you're in a bar...

1034
01:08:15,099 --> 01:08:17,067
but the concept is the same.

1035
01:08:18,870 --> 01:08:21,134
There's an incredible moment
that happens when a party...

1036
01:08:21,240 --> 01:08:24,266
passes its apex, its peak.

1037
01:08:25,344 --> 01:08:28,404
As if by magic,
suddenly every person in the room...

1038
01:08:28,515 --> 01:08:30,483
is acutely aware of the time.

1039
01:08:30,583 --> 01:08:33,746
It is at that moment
that the fear hits.

1040
01:08:34,789 --> 01:08:37,849
- What fear?
- The fear of the empty apartment.

1041
01:08:38,893 --> 01:08:40,087
Oh. Yeah.

1042
01:08:40,195 --> 01:08:42,425
That is more
than most people can stand.

1043
01:08:43,365 --> 01:08:46,596
Desperation creeps into the room
like a fog.

1044
01:08:46,702 --> 01:08:49,535
Eyes begin
to search the crowd anxiously.

1045
01:08:49,639 --> 01:08:52,972
Standards are drastically lowered.
I mean, it's palpable.

1046
01:08:53,877 --> 01:08:56,004
- You know what I'm saying?
- Not really.

1047
01:08:59,250 --> 01:09:02,708
What I'm saying is,
you have a real shot here, Nick.

1048
01:09:05,958 --> 01:09:09,758
This is the moment
that separates a true champion.

1049
01:09:09,862 --> 01:09:11,989
You remember the reason
you first asked for my help?

1050
01:09:12,799 --> 01:09:14,061
The primary goal?

1051
01:09:14,167 --> 01:09:16,135
- Yes.
- Then let me help you...

1052
01:09:16,236 --> 01:09:18,033
to achieve it.

1053
01:09:29,819 --> 01:09:32,083
All right. So.

1054
01:09:32,188 --> 01:09:35,214
We need to scope out
who the drinkers are.

1055
01:09:35,326 --> 01:09:38,159
Every party needs a pace car,
a rabbit.

1056
01:09:39,230 --> 01:09:42,358
Always look for the girls who are
two drinks ahead of everybody else.

1057
01:09:42,467 --> 01:09:44,025
How do you do that?

1058
01:09:44,135 --> 01:09:46,535
Listen for inappropriately loud
bursts of laughter...

1059
01:09:46,638 --> 01:09:48,868
or scan the crowd
for somebody spilling a drink.

1060
01:09:48,975 --> 01:09:52,672
Check the dance floor for somebody
working out of their zone.

1061
01:09:52,778 --> 01:09:54,746
How about them?
They seem pretty drunk.

1062
01:09:58,886 --> 01:10:00,183
Good afternoon.

1063
01:10:01,723 --> 01:10:05,625
God, this is so embarrassing.
I don't know how this happened.

1064
01:10:05,727 --> 01:10:08,355
I'm so sorry.
I'm sorry.

1065
01:10:08,464 --> 01:10:09,761
Hey, Donna.

1066
01:10:11,233 --> 01:10:12,996
- Hi.
- How ya doin'?

1067
01:10:13,103 --> 01:10:14,730
- Well--
- Good. Listen.

1068
01:10:14,838 --> 01:10:16,738
This is my nephew
I want to introduce. Nick.

1069
01:10:16,840 --> 01:10:18,933
- Hi.
- I saw you earlier at the office.

1070
01:10:19,043 --> 01:10:21,136
Hi, Nick. Donna.

1071
01:10:21,245 --> 01:10:23,713
- Nice to see you.
- You too.

1072
01:10:25,651 --> 01:10:28,279
- Roger's showing you the town?
- Yeah, some of it.

1073
01:10:29,154 --> 01:10:30,644
Yeah, Nick's visiting.

1074
01:10:30,756 --> 01:10:33,054
Why don't you tell Donna
about the bet we got going.

1075
01:10:33,159 --> 01:10:34,786
- See you in a second.
- Huh? Wait.

1076
01:10:35,662 --> 01:10:39,029
What bet?
What's he got you involved in?

1077
01:10:39,133 --> 01:10:41,567
- Oh, it's nothing. Really.
- What is this?

1078
01:10:41,669 --> 01:10:43,603
Oh, that. I don't even know.

1079
01:10:43,705 --> 01:10:45,002
- It's cute.
- Thanks.

1080
01:10:45,106 --> 01:10:46,903
I don't even use it.

1081
01:10:47,008 --> 01:10:49,442
Eighty. Hot. Eighty degrees.

1082
01:10:49,544 --> 01:10:51,739
That is hot. Yeah.

1083
01:10:54,250 --> 01:10:58,619
We made a bet whether I can get
someone to fall in love with me tonight.

1084
01:10:58,722 --> 01:11:00,019
Wow.

1085
01:11:00,724 --> 01:11:03,090
- For how much?
- A thousand bucks.

1086
01:11:04,762 --> 01:11:06,389
Get outta here.

1087
01:11:07,865 --> 01:11:09,833
Well, so, how's it going so far?

1088
01:11:11,737 --> 01:11:13,796
Excuse me.
Thankyou.

1089
01:11:14,841 --> 01:11:16,741
Thankyou. Cheers.

1090
01:11:16,843 --> 01:11:18,037
Yeah.

1091
01:11:19,112 --> 01:11:20,875
To love.

1092
01:11:34,297 --> 01:11:36,288
Oh, hello.

1093
01:11:36,399 --> 01:11:40,096
You're not the infamous Roger Swanson
I've heard so much about, are you?

1094
01:11:40,204 --> 01:11:41,432
That's me. Yes.

1095
01:11:41,538 --> 01:11:45,201
Joyce says of all of her copy people,
you are the funniest.

1096
01:11:45,309 --> 01:11:47,209
- I'm a laugh riot.
- No, she says that.

1097
01:11:47,312 --> 01:11:49,576
- Why would I lie?
- What's your name?

1098
01:11:49,681 --> 01:11:51,808
I'm sorry.
I haven't introduced myself.

1099
01:11:51,917 --> 01:11:54,818
I'm Patricia.Joyce and I
went to college together.

1100
01:11:54,920 --> 01:11:57,013
Nice to meet you.
Patty, would you do me a favor?

1101
01:11:57,123 --> 01:11:59,250
Sure. I can certainly try.

1102
01:11:59,359 --> 01:12:02,328
See that kid right over there
in the corner?

1103
01:12:02,429 --> 01:12:04,397
- Yeah.
- That's my nephew Nick.

1104
01:12:04,499 --> 01:12:06,399
- Oh, really. He's so cute.
- He is.

1105
01:12:06,501 --> 01:12:08,628
- He's still a virgin.
- No!

1106
01:12:08,736 --> 01:12:11,261
- Swear to God.
- Poor boy. How old is he?

1107
01:12:11,373 --> 01:12:12,863
He's 1 6. Now, listen.

1108
01:12:12,975 --> 01:12:15,876
My time with Joyce taught me that
older women fuck like jackrabbits...

1109
01:12:15,978 --> 01:12:18,970
and Nick is at
his absolute peak sexually.

1110
01:12:19,082 --> 01:12:20,982
So, I figure,
the two ofyou go at it...

1111
01:12:21,084 --> 01:12:22,984
it would be
like Frazier and Ali.

1112
01:12:23,087 --> 01:12:24,816
- Right?
- Something is wrong with you.

1113
01:12:24,922 --> 01:12:27,720
No, I'm serious.
What do you say?

1114
01:12:27,825 --> 01:12:30,953
- As a kind of a...
- I'm gonna--

1115
01:12:31,063 --> 01:12:32,860
Red Cross moment or--

1116
01:12:32,964 --> 01:12:35,023
Okay. Nice to see you.

1117
01:12:51,953 --> 01:12:55,548
- How's it goin' over here?
- Hey, Roger.

1118
01:12:55,658 --> 01:12:58,718
- Now, who let you in?
- Who let me in? You let me in.

1119
01:12:58,828 --> 01:13:00,125
What?

1120
01:13:00,931 --> 01:13:03,195
You know, Nick here
is a real ladies' man.

1121
01:13:03,300 --> 01:13:05,268
You're lucky he's spending
all this time with you.

1122
01:13:05,368 --> 01:13:07,632
Yeah, that's me.
The lucky lady.

1123
01:13:09,807 --> 01:13:13,334
Actually... I think
I had too much to drink.

1124
01:13:13,445 --> 01:13:15,572
- Uh-oh.
- Would you like to lie down?

1125
01:13:15,681 --> 01:13:17,876
Nick, Nick.
Excellent idea.

1126
01:13:17,983 --> 01:13:20,645
Good one. Come on, darling.
Let's find you a place to lie down.

1127
01:13:20,753 --> 01:13:22,653
Oh, no.Just when things
were getting good.

1128
01:13:22,755 --> 01:13:24,723
Things are still good.

1129
01:13:29,396 --> 01:13:31,421
- Come on.
- Where are we going?

1130
01:13:31,533 --> 01:13:33,433
- We're going.
- We are?

1131
01:13:33,535 --> 01:13:36,299
We're going right around
this little corner.

1132
01:13:36,404 --> 01:13:38,372
- Here we go.
- I forgot to eat.

1133
01:13:43,412 --> 01:13:45,573
Nick, stay with us.
Keep close.

1134
01:13:45,682 --> 01:13:47,081
- Okay.
- Good.

1135
01:13:47,184 --> 01:13:49,812
- All right. So I'll just--
- Oh, excellent.

1136
01:13:51,089 --> 01:13:53,319
- Are you all right?
- I'll just leave you two together.

1137
01:13:53,424 --> 01:13:54,914
- Okay.
- No, don't go.

1138
01:13:55,026 --> 01:13:57,517
- You're in capable hands, believe me.
- What are you doing?

1139
01:13:57,630 --> 01:13:59,154
Hang on a second.

1140
01:14:10,878 --> 01:14:12,846
What are we gonna do?

1141
01:14:12,947 --> 01:14:16,815
We are not gonna do anything...
at all.

1142
01:14:25,028 --> 01:14:26,996
I'll be on guard duty, okay?

1143
01:14:28,933 --> 01:14:32,198
You need to work fast. If I were you,
I'd switch to the two-minute offense.

1144
01:14:32,303 --> 01:14:34,567
What are you talking about?
Wait, Uncle Roger--

1145
01:14:34,973 --> 01:14:36,270
Love you.

1146
01:14:40,279 --> 01:14:41,746
Don't go.

1147
01:14:55,196 --> 01:14:56,663
Oh, let me introduce you.

1148
01:14:56,764 --> 01:14:58,732
This is Donovan Lehman,
Christopher Weland...

1149
01:14:58,834 --> 01:15:00,563
our two collaborators.

1150
01:15:00,669 --> 01:15:02,569
I think they're gonna be
perfect foryou.

1151
01:15:02,671 --> 01:15:05,765
You told me you wanted something
a little bit magic, a bit surreal.

1152
01:15:05,875 --> 01:15:08,400
Hey, hey, Donovan.
How are you, man?

1153
01:15:08,511 --> 01:15:10,843
- Roger. Hey, man.
- How are you?

1154
01:15:10,948 --> 01:15:12,245
Hey, Chris.

1155
01:15:13,517 --> 01:15:14,745
Look at you two.

1156
01:15:14,852 --> 01:15:18,219
You seem like the happy couple.
What's your secret?

1157
01:15:18,323 --> 01:15:20,883
Sorry. You know what they say about
dipping the pen in the company ink.

1158
01:15:22,394 --> 01:15:25,761
- I guess so.
- I know what they say. Yes, they do.

1159
01:15:28,034 --> 01:15:29,331
All right.

1160
01:15:47,323 --> 01:15:48,790
Look at you.

1161
01:18:03,714 --> 01:18:05,181
Go to sleep.

1162
01:18:38,589 --> 01:18:40,318
I think we got sidetracked there.

1163
01:18:40,424 --> 01:18:42,654
Seriously, Donovan, with all
the pressure facing men today...

1164
01:18:42,760 --> 01:18:44,785
it's got to be tough
to maintain a relationship.

1165
01:18:44,896 --> 01:18:46,796
I don't know.
Let's ask a man. Chris?

1166
01:18:46,898 --> 01:18:48,889
Traditional male roles
are being tossed aside...

1167
01:18:49,001 --> 01:18:51,629
before we have any chance to make
an internal shift, don't you think?

1168
01:18:51,737 --> 01:18:55,298
Our culture seems designed
to emasculate and infantilize.

1169
01:18:56,309 --> 01:18:58,470
- That's a strong statement.
- Why don't you go and...

1170
01:18:58,578 --> 01:19:00,205
help yourself to some food?

1171
01:19:00,313 --> 01:19:02,611
It's particularly true
in a situation when the woman is...

1172
01:19:02,717 --> 01:19:05,083
two decades older than the man.

1173
01:19:06,053 --> 01:19:08,385
- Roger!
- Approximately.

1174
01:19:11,760 --> 01:19:13,728
We were having
this discussion the other day--

1175
01:19:13,830 --> 01:19:16,355
Is it your mission in life
to humiliate yourself?

1176
01:19:16,466 --> 01:19:18,525
It's more of a hobby really.

1177
01:19:18,635 --> 01:19:20,660
I want you to leave right now.

1178
01:19:20,771 --> 01:19:22,864
You want me to leave
and go where?

1179
01:19:23,908 --> 01:19:26,672
Think very hard
about what you're doing.

1180
01:19:26,778 --> 01:19:29,008
Go where,Joyce?
Where do you want me to go?

1181
01:19:32,151 --> 01:19:33,379
You're through.

1182
01:19:33,486 --> 01:19:35,886
You lied to me.
You are a liar.

1183
01:19:35,988 --> 01:19:38,081
- I want you to leave.
- Who's he?

1184
01:19:38,190 --> 01:19:39,953
Who the fuck is he?

1185
01:19:40,060 --> 01:19:41,789
Who the fuck is he?

1186
01:19:41,895 --> 01:19:43,920
Who is he? What--

1187
01:19:47,335 --> 01:19:48,632
Don't get comfortable.

1188
01:19:50,171 --> 01:19:53,140
Don't ever settle in
like you own the place. Trust me.

1189
01:19:54,843 --> 01:19:56,811
There's always something
gaining on you.

1190
01:19:57,681 --> 01:20:00,878
And here they come now.
Hey, guys. Good luck.

1191
01:20:00,984 --> 01:20:02,781
Sorry. Take care now.

1192
01:20:03,955 --> 01:20:07,015
Let me get a coat here.
Take care.

1193
01:20:07,124 --> 01:20:09,592
Nice to see you.
Thanks, Joyce! Bye-bye!

1194
01:20:11,430 --> 01:20:12,897
What just happened?

1195
01:20:12,998 --> 01:20:14,966
Excuse me. I'm sorry.

1196
01:20:28,717 --> 01:20:30,776
That didn't go
exactly as I had hoped.

1197
01:20:35,891 --> 01:20:38,052
What happened in there?
What were you shouting about?

1198
01:20:38,160 --> 01:20:40,128
Doesn't matter.
What about you?

1199
01:20:40,229 --> 01:20:42,129
- Did you get it on with Donna?
- No.

1200
01:20:42,232 --> 01:20:45,065
- Why not?
- Are you kidding? She was passed out!

1201
01:20:45,168 --> 01:20:50,071
Nick, you have had one golden
opportunity after another this evening.

1202
01:20:50,174 --> 01:20:52,699
You haven't exactly shown yourself
to be a clutch player.

1203
01:20:52,810 --> 01:20:54,778
- Hey!
- What happened in there?

1204
01:20:54,880 --> 01:20:57,212
- Are you drunk?
- I'm going home.

1205
01:20:57,316 --> 01:20:59,716
- Where do you need to be dropped?
- What?

1206
01:20:59,819 --> 01:21:01,116
That's it?

1207
01:21:02,222 --> 01:21:05,191
We've had a full evening.
I thinkyou're ready to fly solo.

1208
01:21:07,561 --> 01:21:10,189
- You said there was a fail-safe.
- What fail-safe?

1209
01:21:11,165 --> 01:21:13,224
Back at the bar.
You said there was a fail-safe.

1210
01:21:13,335 --> 01:21:14,461
Did I?

1211
01:21:16,338 --> 01:21:19,899
- I don't thinkyou want the fail-safe.
- No, I want it! Just stop.

1212
01:21:20,009 --> 01:21:21,738
- You sure?
- Yes, I'm sure.

1213
01:21:21,844 --> 01:21:24,176
I'm not going home like this,
all right?

1214
01:21:24,281 --> 01:21:25,612
I'm sure. Okay?

1215
01:21:28,018 --> 01:21:29,918
You know what? You're right.

1216
01:21:30,020 --> 01:21:33,148
Why give into a slump?
Let's go down swinging.

1217
01:21:33,258 --> 01:21:35,726
- Yes. Like Michael Jordan.
- Right.

1218
01:21:35,827 --> 01:21:38,796
That's the wrong sport,
but I like your enthusiasm. Let's go.

1219
01:22:11,168 --> 01:22:12,658
All right. Thanks.

1220
01:22:30,157 --> 01:22:31,715
Come on. Come on.

1221
01:23:27,356 --> 01:23:29,620
Hey. Two of us.

1222
01:23:29,726 --> 01:23:31,216
That's 200.

1223
01:23:36,100 --> 01:23:37,692
One... two.

1224
01:23:40,371 --> 01:23:42,805
- Is he a minor?
- I'm an actor. I'm researching a role.

1225
01:24:59,130 --> 01:25:00,927
It's a hundred to fuck me.

1226
01:25:19,019 --> 01:25:20,213
Tip.

1227
01:25:41,579 --> 01:25:42,637
Come on.

1228
01:25:50,289 --> 01:25:52,348
Wait.Just slow down.

1229
01:25:55,929 --> 01:25:57,328
Please slow down.

1230
01:26:52,995 --> 01:26:55,589
- We're goin' home.
- Hey! Hey!

1231
01:26:55,698 --> 01:26:57,666
- What are you doing?
- Easy, easy.

1232
01:26:57,767 --> 01:27:00,600
Get outta here.
Motherfucker, get off me!

1233
01:27:00,704 --> 01:27:03,400
Motherfucker, get off me!

1234
01:27:03,507 --> 01:27:06,203
- Get off me!
- Get outta here!

1235
01:27:06,311 --> 01:27:07,608
Nick!

1236
01:27:16,656 --> 01:27:17,987
Nick.

1237
01:27:23,530 --> 01:27:25,657
Nick, don't worry about it.

1238
01:27:33,309 --> 01:27:35,334
It's okay. It's all right!

1239
01:27:38,915 --> 01:27:39,973
Nick!

1240
01:27:43,019 --> 01:27:44,509
Chill!

1241
01:27:45,890 --> 01:27:47,858
It's all right, man.

1242
01:27:48,960 --> 01:27:50,257
Jesus.

1243
01:28:15,758 --> 01:28:17,885
Fucking booze.

1244
01:28:27,939 --> 01:28:29,236
Come on.

1245
01:29:13,725 --> 01:29:15,056
Come here.

1246
01:29:16,127 --> 01:29:18,220
-Jesus.
- Don't tell--

1247
01:29:18,331 --> 01:29:19,798
Go to sleep.

1248
01:29:30,511 --> 01:29:31,808
Okay.

1249
01:31:09,093 --> 01:31:11,061
Roger, pick up the goddamn phone.

1250
01:31:11,161 --> 01:31:13,493
Nick is gone.
No one's seen him in two days.

1251
01:31:13,597 --> 01:31:16,566
I am frrantic,
and I needyou to call me, please.

1252
01:31:44,166 --> 01:31:45,793
Oh, my God.

1253
01:31:54,178 --> 01:31:55,645
There's coffee.

1254
01:31:58,417 --> 01:31:59,884
I don't drink caffeine.

1255
01:32:01,820 --> 01:32:02,787
Yes.

1256
01:32:07,527 --> 01:32:09,495
I keep losing my balance.

1257
01:32:10,563 --> 01:32:12,394
- That'll pass.
- Yeah.

1258
01:32:14,802 --> 01:32:16,167
So, Nick...

1259
01:32:16,938 --> 01:32:18,838
tell me more about Columbia.

1260
01:32:18,940 --> 01:32:20,908
What did you think of the campus?

1261
01:32:23,646 --> 01:32:26,206
I don't know.
It was fine.

1262
01:32:28,617 --> 01:32:31,313
Did you...
Iook around the neighborhood?

1263
01:32:31,421 --> 01:32:35,084
Maybe you could tell me about the
different things you saw on your tour.

1264
01:32:41,365 --> 01:32:43,629
I'm sorry I got so mad.

1265
01:32:45,070 --> 01:32:46,537
You're what?

1266
01:32:48,208 --> 01:32:49,505
Last night.

1267
01:32:52,412 --> 01:32:55,438
You were trying to teach me
the way that things are done, and I--

1268
01:32:57,051 --> 01:32:59,952
I guess I kept fucking it up. So--

1269
01:33:00,054 --> 01:33:02,318
So I shouldn't have gotten so mad.

1270
01:33:03,191 --> 01:33:06,354
I'm... sorry I disappointed you.

1271
01:33:09,632 --> 01:33:11,099
Uh-huh. Okay.

1272
01:33:11,200 --> 01:33:13,532
Anyone can have an off night.
It's happened to me.

1273
01:33:16,440 --> 01:33:18,340
You said you score every night.

1274
01:33:18,442 --> 01:33:20,342
I say a lot of things.
Look, Nick.

1275
01:33:22,914 --> 01:33:24,814
Call your mom, will you?

1276
01:33:24,916 --> 01:33:26,816
I'm sure she would like
to hear from you.

1277
01:33:27,853 --> 01:33:29,582
Forget it.
I'll see her when I get home.

1278
01:33:29,688 --> 01:33:31,656
Call her anyway.
Come on.

1279
01:33:43,804 --> 01:33:45,772
I'll leave you to it.

1280
01:33:55,552 --> 01:33:57,520
I guess I'll see you
at the next funeral.

1281
01:33:57,621 --> 01:33:58,849
Why? Who's sick?

1282
01:33:59,723 --> 01:34:01,281
What? No, I'm kidding.

1283
01:34:01,392 --> 01:34:02,620
Me too.

1284
01:34:05,697 --> 01:34:07,597
All right.
Good-bye, Uncle Roger.

1285
01:34:07,699 --> 01:34:09,166
See you, Nick.

1286
01:34:17,711 --> 01:34:19,474
Don't tip. I got it.

1287
01:34:37,934 --> 01:34:40,664
How long does it usually take
to get to the airport?

1288
01:34:40,771 --> 01:34:43,137
- About a half hour, sir.
- Right.

1289
01:35:59,696 --> 01:36:01,425
You see Angela today?

1290
01:36:01,532 --> 01:36:03,557
- How come?
- No bra.

1291
01:36:07,072 --> 01:36:08,699
I swear to God.

1292
01:36:09,674 --> 01:36:12,575
That's unhealthy. They're gonna sag
when she gets older.

1293
01:36:12,677 --> 01:36:13,837
Fuck 'em up.

1294
01:36:13,946 --> 01:36:15,914
So go tell her, Nick.

1295
01:36:16,015 --> 01:36:17,243
What?

1296
01:36:18,884 --> 01:36:20,249
Go tell her.

1297
01:36:20,353 --> 01:36:22,116
Yeah, maybe she doesn't know.

1298
01:36:22,222 --> 01:36:24,918
- You know, you'd be doing her a favor.
- Yeah.

1299
01:36:25,025 --> 01:36:26,549
A true favor.

1300
01:36:26,661 --> 01:36:27,958
Yeah.

1301
01:36:57,363 --> 01:36:59,331
Look who dropped by
for a visit.

1302
01:37:03,203 --> 01:37:04,670
Girls.

1303
01:37:06,006 --> 01:37:07,371
Young women.

1304
01:37:10,178 --> 01:37:12,612
Female human beings.

1305
01:37:14,883 --> 01:37:17,249
Female hearts
beating beneath...

1306
01:37:17,353 --> 01:37:19,082
those tight sweaters.

1307
01:37:19,188 --> 01:37:22,453
Feminine blood
coursing through theirveins.

1308
01:37:22,559 --> 01:37:26,154
Living, breathing girls.

1309
01:37:28,099 --> 01:37:31,068
What are you young men in the
prime ofyour lives doing about this?

1310
01:37:31,169 --> 01:37:32,932
I'm doing plenty.

1311
01:37:33,037 --> 01:37:35,028
- Yeah? You're getting plenty of action?
- Oh, yeah.

1312
01:37:35,140 --> 01:37:36,835
He has to beat 'em off
with a stick.

1313
01:37:36,942 --> 01:37:41,709
Unfortunately, I'm not talking about
"whack-off.com," okay?

1314
01:37:41,815 --> 01:37:44,511
I'm talking about
the girls in this room.

1315
01:37:44,617 --> 01:37:46,642
I'm talking about communicating.

1316
01:37:46,754 --> 01:37:48,312
I'm talking about engaging.

1317
01:37:48,422 --> 01:37:50,947
I'm talking about
standing up from this...

1318
01:37:52,593 --> 01:37:56,757
guys-only, StarTrek-convention,
frankly, homoerotic little group...

1319
01:37:58,033 --> 01:38:00,399
and introducing yourself
to one of these girls.

1320
01:38:00,503 --> 01:38:02,403
Yeah, but I always get so nervous.

1321
01:38:02,505 --> 01:38:04,769
Why? There's nothing at stake.

1322
01:38:04,874 --> 01:38:07,001
If there was a chance ofyou
actually getting laid...

1323
01:38:07,110 --> 01:38:08,839
then you'd have
a reason to be nervous.

1324
01:38:08,946 --> 01:38:10,846
Try working someone in a bar
for three hours...

1325
01:38:10,948 --> 01:38:14,076
and then you gotta close the deal
right before last call.

1326
01:38:14,185 --> 01:38:16,153
That's pressure. Okay?

1327
01:38:16,988 --> 01:38:19,422
You guys can treat this
like it's a warm-up.

1328
01:38:20,459 --> 01:38:23,292
You're trying to find your style.
So you get nervous?

1329
01:38:23,395 --> 01:38:26,364
Maybe you're the nervous guy.
Maybe that's your hook.

1330
01:38:26,466 --> 01:38:29,264
So go ahead and blush.
Stutter all you want.

1331
01:38:30,071 --> 01:38:32,301
Show her
how she makes you feel.

1332
01:38:32,406 --> 01:38:34,601
Think of it. You're combining
honesty and flattery.

1333
01:38:34,709 --> 01:38:36,540
- That's lethal.
- Yeah, but...

1334
01:38:36,645 --> 01:38:39,113
you can't let a girl know
how nervous you are.

1335
01:38:39,214 --> 01:38:41,444
You gotta let her know
you're in control, right?

1336
01:38:43,586 --> 01:38:45,315
"In control"?
Who is this guy?

1337
01:38:45,421 --> 01:38:47,787
You're in high school. You don't
control any-- Look at your face.

1338
01:38:47,891 --> 01:38:49,984
Look at what you're eating,
for Christ's sake.

1339
01:38:50,094 --> 01:38:51,959
Look at that shirt.

1340
01:38:52,062 --> 01:38:53,495
In control.

1341
01:38:54,331 --> 01:38:55,992
All right.

1342
01:38:56,101 --> 01:38:58,069
Who's the one you guys
are all desperate to talk to?

1343
01:38:58,169 --> 01:38:59,193
Angela.

1344
01:39:00,238 --> 01:39:01,205
Definitely.

1345
01:39:03,476 --> 01:39:06,309
- Angela.
- Okay. Here's what you could say.

1346
01:39:08,815 --> 01:39:11,010
Hi, Angela.
My name is-- What is it?

1347
01:39:11,118 --> 01:39:13,143
- Darren.
- My name is Darren.

1348
01:39:15,657 --> 01:39:18,649
Every time I see you in the hall,
I have the urge to talk to you.

1349
01:39:19,360 --> 01:39:21,624
So I try to think
of something clever to say...

1350
01:39:21,730 --> 01:39:23,925
but I get so nervous...

1351
01:39:25,868 --> 01:39:28,234
that nothing comes out.

1352
01:39:28,338 --> 01:39:31,569
We don't know each other right now,
but I'd like to maybe...

1353
01:39:32,276 --> 01:39:35,268
invite you out for a soda sometime
so that we could talk.

1354
01:39:35,379 --> 01:39:37,347
I'd like to see
what we have in common.

1355
01:39:38,350 --> 01:39:40,511
But most of all,
I'm curious to find out...

1356
01:39:40,619 --> 01:39:42,587
what kind of person
you really are...

1357
01:39:42,688 --> 01:39:45,350
because I am tired
of looking at you from a dist--

1358
01:39:45,458 --> 01:39:47,358
And so on and so forth.

1359
01:39:47,460 --> 01:39:49,360
Take that out for a spin.
See how it works.

1360
01:39:49,462 --> 01:39:52,022
Yeah. See her turn around
and walk back to the jock table.

1361
01:39:52,132 --> 01:39:53,690
- Yeah.
- If that happens...

1362
01:39:53,801 --> 01:39:55,769
you go to sleep
knowing you gave it your best shot.

1363
01:39:55,869 --> 01:39:57,769
Remember, she has to
show you something as well.

1364
01:39:58,840 --> 01:40:00,899
I'd love it
if Angela showed me something.

1365
01:40:02,310 --> 01:40:04,835
- Yeah. Two things.
- Yeah!

1366
01:40:06,248 --> 01:40:07,715
I'd lick 'em.

1367
01:40:09,753 --> 01:40:12,449
Well, I tried.
Hang in there, Nick.

1368
01:40:12,556 --> 01:40:13,818
Wait. You're going?

1369
01:40:13,924 --> 01:40:16,518
Yeah, I gotta get home,
look forwork.

1370
01:40:16,627 --> 01:40:18,527
As we speak,
consumers everywhere need reminding...

1371
01:40:18,629 --> 01:40:20,563
of just how fat
and unattractive they are.

1372
01:40:22,267 --> 01:40:24,235
Nice meeting you, men.

1373
01:40:24,937 --> 01:40:26,564
Keep your sense of humor.

1374
01:40:27,272 --> 01:40:30,730
In ten years, you won't even remember
what this place looks like. Trust me.

1375
01:40:35,349 --> 01:40:37,317
Dude, your uncle is strange.

1376
01:40:38,152 --> 01:40:40,052
Yeah, I know.
I guess he is.

1377
01:40:40,154 --> 01:40:42,019
Yeah, but he's cool.
You gonna visit him again?

1378
01:40:45,293 --> 01:40:46,590
I don't know.

1379
01:40:50,666 --> 01:40:51,963
What?

1380
01:40:55,372 --> 01:40:56,566
What?

1381
01:40:59,177 --> 01:41:00,667
Hey, Nick.

1382
01:41:00,779 --> 01:41:03,077
Some guy, I guess
he's your uncle...

1383
01:41:03,181 --> 01:41:05,445
he said you had
something to tell me.

1384
01:41:08,354 --> 01:41:11,221
He said it would
"blow my mind."

1385
01:41:57,611 --> 01:42:00,512
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