1
00:00:08,043 --> 00:00:13,501
Subtitles made by Martinibaby (Kitty4@seznam.cz)
Edits (and GREAT help:)) by BurntBroccoli.

2
00:01:08,000 --> 00:01:15,410
Please, welcome onto the stage The Mighty Boosh!

3
00:01:52,410 --> 00:01:55,080
Haha, she overshot the runway.

4
00:01:58,110 --> 00:02:01,250
Heeey Brixton, you cheeky bitch!

5
00:02:04,000 --> 00:02:06,620
Howyerdoin' in the top shelf?

6
00:02:11,200 --> 00:02:16,370
-Top shelf, aaa top shelf.
-Eeee top shelf.

7
00:02:16,870 --> 00:02:18,740
Very nicey shelfy.

8
00:02:18,760 --> 00:02:22,000
Howyerdoin' in the lower shelf?

9
00:02:31,410 --> 00:02:33,040
What about just you?

10
00:02:35,950 --> 00:02:36,990
What a dick:)

11
00:02:40,330 --> 00:02:43,000
-Everyone in?
-Everyone okay?

12
00:02:43,790 --> 00:02:46,410
Yeah? Yeah, you all in? You all settled in?

13
00:02:46,410 --> 00:02:48,790
-Are you all right?
-Are you okay, yeah?

14
00:02:48,950 --> 00:02:54,370
Sure? Do you need anything? I mean I could russle
you up a quiche or...

15
00:02:55,830 --> 00:03:00,050
-I get on that.
-They're good, his quiches are good, he puts LEGO in'em!

16
00:03:04,450 --> 00:03:07,160
Okay everyone's in, let's do it.

17
00:03:07,450 --> 00:03:12,870
Ooh you guys! Where have you been? We've all been
waiting for'ya!

18
00:03:16,450 --> 00:03:19,450
-Okay..
-She hid under her fringe, get away from me.

19
00:03:21,450 --> 00:03:23,250
-Are you ready?
-Yeah, I�m ready.

20
00:03:23,580 --> 00:03:25,330
-Okay, let's do it.
-Check me out.

21
00:03:31,490 --> 00:03:35,330
Howard Moon! Jazz maverick...

22
00:03:38,370 --> 00:03:40,500
..novelist..

23
00:03:42,750 --> 00:03:44,870
..cyclist..

24
00:03:48,700 --> 00:03:52,040
..rider of the penny-farthing..

25
00:03:56,200 --> 00:03:58,870
..stamp collector!

26
00:04:02,580 --> 00:04:04,830
Age: Sixty-one..

27
00:04:05,790 --> 00:04:07,410
..fifty..seven?:)

28
00:04:07,790 --> 00:04:15,160
Special features: The tiny eyes of a shrew!
Howard Moon!

29
00:04:16,910 --> 00:04:20,250
Yeah, check him out.

30
00:04:30,510 --> 00:04:31,910
What are you doing?

31
00:04:32,000 --> 00:04:33,520
Eating the applause.

32
00:04:34,000 --> 00:04:38,250
-Who does that?
-Me. Nice'n crunchy.

33
00:04:38,750 --> 00:04:42,700
-Was it? Was it crunchy?
-Yeah... Get in the light.

34
00:04:50,410 --> 00:04:51,580
Thanx:)

35
00:04:54,410 --> 00:04:56,830
Vince Noir!

36
00:05:01,580 --> 00:05:04,290
Electro poof!

37
00:05:15,580 --> 00:05:20,120
What are you doing?!
Never eat another man's applause.

38
00:05:22,040 --> 00:05:24,450
-Oh..that was very rich.
-Yeah.

39
00:05:25,290 --> 00:05:30,200
-Like a fruit cake. I feel all bilious.
-Too rich for you.

40
00:05:31,910 --> 00:05:35,450
Look at the Spirit of jazz shuffling through there.

41
00:05:41,120 --> 00:05:44,920
Hey baby, you're goin' to the bathroom yeah?

42
00:05:45,200 --> 00:05:47,750
Look how slow he walks out.

43
00:05:47,820 --> 00:05:49,260
Doesn't give a fuck.

44
00:05:49,350 --> 00:05:52,840
I'm outta here - in my own good time.

45
00:05:53,950 --> 00:05:57,080
I ain't movin' fast for no shit.

46
00:05:58,000 --> 00:06:02,040
You might be filming a DVD, I'm takin' my time.

47
00:06:03,700 --> 00:06:05,730
You're on it now, mate.

48
00:06:05,950 --> 00:06:08,510
No he's not. I'm cutting that bit out.

49
00:06:09,210 --> 00:06:10,620
Slow walking fool.

50
00:06:11,720 --> 00:06:14,580
We've got a crazy show coming up for you tonight!

51
00:06:14,830 --> 00:06:16,290
-We've got stuff for you..
-Craaazy show!

52
00:06:16,410 --> 00:06:17,500
-Don't touch me.
-What?

53
00:06:17,580 --> 00:06:19,830
-Don't touch me!
-He's such a joker!

54
00:06:21,290 --> 00:06:24,750
-Yeah.. I'm not joking. -What?
-Never touch me, okay?

55
00:06:24,870 --> 00:06:30,050
Not when we're on stage, not when we're off stage,
back stage, not when we're out buying hammocks..

56
00:06:30,580 --> 00:06:33,490
-Never touch me sir.
-We DO do that a lot.

57
00:06:36,950 --> 00:06:38,950
-Never touch me!
-Okay.

58
00:06:40,580 --> 00:06:45,500
Hey, look seriously - I'm gonna get the fan mail.
We've got a bit of fan mail, we should check it out.

59
00:06:45,590 --> 00:06:48,140
-So you'll keep things ticking over here..
-Yeah, you know, I'll work the room.

60
00:06:48,160 --> 00:06:51,300
-Alright yeah, you'll work it up.
-Yeeah.

61
00:06:52,630 --> 00:06:56,700
Barratt's gonna work the room, I'm gonna go off like this.

62
00:07:12,510 --> 00:07:14,960
Heey where are you from?

63
00:07:15,300 --> 00:07:20,000
So.. yeah. Alright! Coming at you
like a beam, like a ray, like a laser,

64
00:07:20,010 --> 00:07:23,860
like a beam of light in the night, I'm like lightning.
Coming at you like a kestrel, ow!

65
00:07:28,200 --> 00:07:31,700
Howyerdoin' everyone?
Hello there small child... Hello.

66
00:07:32,950 --> 00:07:36,580
You might wanna cover his ears for
some of the show..?

67
00:07:36,700 --> 00:07:39,370
Not doing anything rude, it's just
his ears are a bit weird...

68
00:07:41,540 --> 00:07:45,030
If you could just cover them, putting them off slightly.

69
00:07:45,510 --> 00:07:49,580
-Heey where are you from?
-Just round there, between those two bits of fabric.

70
00:07:51,090 --> 00:07:54,420
Are you insulting the nippers again?

71
00:07:55,410 --> 00:08:02,530
Hey look at this, look! Fan mail! Check this out.
This one's for me and er, this one's for you.

72
00:08:03,410 --> 00:08:07,660
Aaaa I'm jokin'. This one's for me as well.

73
00:08:12,730 --> 00:08:15,290
Let's have a little look, see what the fans are saying.

74
00:08:15,910 --> 00:08:25,250
Dear Vince, I think you are soo amazing and brilliant!
And your hair is so big and tall and nice and I really like you!

75
00:08:26,120 --> 00:08:31,550
The only thing is, is why do you have to
have your dad in the show?

76
00:08:41,650 --> 00:08:45,750
There's another one here. Let's have
a look at this one.

77
00:09:02,710 --> 00:09:07,500
It's just screaming, that one. Quite abstract...

78
00:09:09,040 --> 00:09:16,250
Yeah, well you know.. I get fan mail, alright?
Yeah! It's not the quantity of the fan mail, it's the quality of the fan!

79
00:09:17,370 --> 00:09:19,750
-That's what I say.
-It is what he says. It is!

80
00:09:20,000 --> 00:09:25,790
This came to me - this piece of fan mail - came to me
this, only this very morn' and ...

81
00:09:26,860 --> 00:09:29,540
I'm bringing morn' back as a figure of speech.

82
00:09:29,790 --> 00:09:32,620
-This came to me this fair morn'.
-Oooh this fair morn'.

83
00:09:32,700 --> 00:09:35,750
-This fair morn' has arrived.
-Good luck with that.

84
00:09:36,250 --> 00:09:38,330
Check it out.

85
00:09:39,200 --> 00:09:43,410
Dear Howard, if you ever come to me again,
I will call the police...

86
00:09:43,750 --> 00:09:48,200
Haha, that's the wrong one - I've got the wrong..
I've got them mixed-up...

87
00:09:48,580 --> 00:09:53,910
I got it in wrong pockets...
...I mixed it up.

88
00:09:55,040 --> 00:09:59,700
This is the one I meant to read out.
This is from none other than Tom Paulin.

89
00:10:00,840 --> 00:10:03,450
-Ladys and gentlemen. -Who?
-Tom Paulin.

90
00:10:03,570 --> 00:10:05,350
-Yes, she knows.
-There he is.

91
00:10:06,330 --> 00:10:09,700
This is, you know, he's intellectual - man of letters
all around...

92
00:10:09,800 --> 00:10:13,590
-Man made of letters?
-Yeah, this is from him.

93
00:10:13,800 --> 00:10:16,680
-Really? That Irish guy on the late?
-Yeah check it out.

94
00:10:17,400 --> 00:10:22,880
Dear Howard Moon, I just wanted to
drop you a line, since I thought your

95
00:10:22,990 --> 00:10:28,680
performance in The Mighty Boosh was
mesmerizing. Mere sincerely Tom Paulin.

96
00:10:28,780 --> 00:10:29,920
Tom Paulin!

97
00:10:33,970 --> 00:10:37,740
-Yeah, that came to me. To ME!
-Yeah, that's good. What's this little bit here he's put?

98
00:10:38,310 --> 00:10:39,970
-Don't read that bit!
-What is it? -Don't read it!

99
00:10:40,380 --> 00:10:44,870
Yes and could I possibly have a signed
photograph of your cock and balls?

100
00:10:50,280 --> 00:10:52,800
Ooh Tom's a bit weird, isn't he?

101
00:10:55,080 --> 00:10:56,690
Creepy Tom...

102
00:10:57,810 --> 00:11:00,580
-Creepy Tom.
-Creepy creepy Tom Tom.

103
00:11:01,740 --> 00:11:04,370
Anyway how have you been since the telly show?
You've been alright?

104
00:11:04,430 --> 00:11:06,380
-I've been real good sir, real good.
-Yeah?

105
00:11:06,460 --> 00:11:09,710
-Telly show? Are you ten?
-Mentally, yeah.

106
00:11:10,750 --> 00:11:16,680
I've been good yeah, very busy - working on my theatre
skills - training myself up for the, you know, this run.

107
00:11:17,030 --> 00:11:22,940
Working on the ancient art of mime.
You know, so... check me out.

108
00:11:24,630 --> 00:11:30,940
Ow! Comin'at'ya'... yeah? I'm in a chimney.

109
00:11:32,100 --> 00:11:39,070
See that? What about this? Look!
I'm next to a log... Chaffinch.

110
00:11:41,830 --> 00:11:45,700
-Do chaffinch again!
-I only do that once.

111
00:11:46,610 --> 00:11:50,980
Yeah, I've been busy - you know - working myself up
on the theatre department, you know what I mean?

112
00:11:51,080 --> 00:11:54,630
-Building up my theatre muscles...
-So you've been busy? That's what you're sayin'?

113
00:11:54,710 --> 00:11:59,030
Weird that you should say that, 'cos I was walking
through Camden the other day and

114
00:11:59,080 --> 00:12:02,380
I saw you in a skip, weeping...

115
00:12:08,470 --> 00:12:13,380
-That was an art piece, that I was...
-Was it? - Yeah...

116
00:12:14,020 --> 00:12:18,900
Yeah but you had like a shirt and tie on, but
no pants or trousers on.

117
00:12:20,120 --> 00:12:22,040
Yeah? Too much for you, was it?

118
00:12:23,300 --> 00:12:25,520
-That's what I do, you know, I'm a maverick.
-It was too much.

119
00:12:26,060 --> 00:12:29,760
It was quite early in the morning. I was trying to
eat a baguette.

120
00:12:32,920 --> 00:12:34,610
-That's what I do.
-It was a shock.

121
00:12:34,830 --> 00:12:39,440
I take my work into the streets, you know? I don't just
do stuff in theatres, this is like oldschool for me, you know?

122
00:12:39,760 --> 00:12:44,130
I'll go into the streets in my world - you can't put me in a box.
If you put me in a box I'll break out of the box, you know?

123
00:12:44,210 --> 00:12:49,960
If you put a boundary around me, I'll eat the boundary
and wash it down with a cup of hot steaming rules.

124
00:12:50,930 --> 00:12:53,120
Ow! comin'at'ya' like a beam, like a ray, like a buzzard!

125
00:12:54,570 --> 00:12:59,130
Swooping about, know what I mean? Peckin'
at the boundaries. That's the way I work!

126
00:12:59,192 --> 00:13:01,408
That sounds electric.

127
00:13:01,460 --> 00:13:05,330
-Yeah? What have you been up to then?
-Well, pretty much, right after the telly show

128
00:13:05,400 --> 00:13:08,490
I've invented this game - Brixton check
this out, alright?

129
00:13:08,650 --> 00:13:12,020
I've invented a game called:
Pelt The Rabbit In His Big White Face!

130
00:13:12,130 --> 00:13:18,050
Genius! I know, the title alone is pretty cool,
but wait - til you hear what happens - you're in here, right,

131
00:13:18,110 --> 00:13:25,500
or wherever, by the windmill doesn't matter and this massive
rabbit comes in, he's got really massive face, he's a freak,

132
00:13:25,600 --> 00:13:29,340
he's like that - and he's quite tall he's like six foot -
and he comes running towards you

133
00:13:29,390 --> 00:13:31,850
and you've gotta like leg it and get away from him
or like pelt him with coins

134
00:13:32,270 --> 00:13:36,170
or sunflower seeds or take your Chelsey
boot off and just take him out.

135
00:13:36,340 --> 00:13:42,530
Cos if he catches you he just throws you
on the floor and rapes you.

136
00:13:50,450 --> 00:13:52,670
That's not a game, is it? Really that...

137
00:13:54,090 --> 00:14:00,220
That's just a sequence of events.
A sequence of horrific events.

138
00:14:00,670 --> 00:14:03,280
Culminating in a rape.

139
00:14:04,620 --> 00:14:08,150
-Where's the game elements?
-Yeah, but it's not an ordinary rape! It's a rabbit rape!

140
00:14:09,260 --> 00:14:11,300
It's a terrific bunny-bumming!

141
00:14:13,290 --> 00:14:18,210
-From MB Games? What? There's no strategy!
-Of course there's a strategy!

142
00:14:18,280 --> 00:14:19,620
Why? What is it?

143
00:14:19,710 --> 00:14:25,140
Well, you know, the thing with it is you never know
when he's gonna come, do you? When he's gonna arrive, easy!

144
00:14:25,440 --> 00:14:29,280
He might come in an hour, he might come in two hours,
he might come in month, he might come in a year,

145
00:14:29,290 --> 00:14:33,830
he might come in fourteen minutes!
What if he's ill? He's got a brother looks exactly like him!

146
00:14:35,360 --> 00:14:40,360
He's the worse of the two if anything - he's more
powerful and vigorous.

147
00:14:40,870 --> 00:14:44,900
You'll never get away from him. If it's his brother,
you might as well just sit down..

148
00:14:47,160 --> 00:14:49,280
..put up the white flag.

149
00:14:49,970 --> 00:14:55,170
This isn't the show by the way:) This is just, you know
little bit of idle banter up top.

150
00:14:55,560 --> 00:14:58,610
-The show's all back here, waiting to come out.
-Oh yeah I can feel it..

151
00:14:58,690 --> 00:15:04,650
There's a tiny bit of the show. I can feel it! Look
at the show - it's lively tonight!

152
00:15:06,670 --> 00:15:09,490
Let's have a little glimpse of the show!

153
00:15:16,960 --> 00:15:21,380
-Did I dream that?
-Let's see if it was real.

154
00:15:28,200 --> 00:15:33,550
-Yeah, we've got some stuff lined up for you.
-It's different every night that bit.

155
00:15:33,610 --> 00:15:38,860
Yes I thought what we should do really before
unleashing that is warm up a little bit.

156
00:15:38,920 --> 00:15:41,550
So you know, get ourselves into the theatre mode.

157
00:15:41,700 --> 00:15:45,160
-I've written a small piece of theatre..
-Yeah?

158
00:15:45,200 --> 00:15:47,780
-..which we could do right here, right now so..
-A small piece?

159
00:15:47,840 --> 00:15:49,100
-A pouch.
-A pouch.

160
00:15:49,780 --> 00:15:51,940
-A pouch of theatre?
-Yeah, powerful pouch.

161
00:15:52,310 --> 00:15:56,400
-And they do call you the theater wallaby?
-Yes, they do.

162
00:15:58,160 --> 00:15:59,830
That's how I type.

163
00:16:01,280 --> 00:16:04,050
This is something I've created and I'd like to do
it now - we're all gonna get warmed up

164
00:16:04,110 --> 00:16:05,830
-..you know if we didn't warm up..
-No way!

165
00:16:05,990 --> 00:16:09,120
You know, you could strain a theatre muscle
or something so.. you know...

166
00:16:09,460 --> 00:16:13,210
You might fracture your eyes, sir.
We don't want that.

167
00:16:13,610 --> 00:16:15,310
-So.. -What shall I do then?
-Well you can be in it.

168
00:16:15,510 --> 00:16:17,810
-No way! -Yeah!
-Really?

169
00:16:17,990 --> 00:16:19,430
-Can you act?
-Can I act?

170
00:16:20,220 --> 00:16:24,470
Not really, no...
That was me acting then, aaa.

171
00:16:25,540 --> 00:16:26,640
The Twisterroonie..

172
00:16:26,650 --> 00:16:28,420
-No, still no!
-Come on!

173
00:16:28,510 --> 00:16:33,060
-No, not even through your nice new Kiss jacket.
Never touch me.

174
00:16:33,660 --> 00:16:35,780
-What shall I do then?
-Get ready I'll introduce it.

175
00:16:36,060 --> 00:16:41,330
Yeah? Alright, cool, I'm going off like this -
ooh monkey hands...

176
00:16:43,100 --> 00:16:45,080
..and frozen legs.

177
00:16:46,220 --> 00:16:52,290
Monkey hands and frozen legs - the
ultimate combination.

178
00:17:01,120 --> 00:17:05,700
Okay. Right, well this is little piece now, that
I've written myself with a pen.

179
00:17:05,680 --> 00:17:13,720
And... it's set in Russia, turn of the century...
I know what are you thinking.

180
00:17:14,270 --> 00:17:19,280
Don't think that, because.. this is dark
penetrating theatre.

181
00:17:20,000 --> 00:17:23,940
Please enjoy a piece I've written, called
simply: ''Pies''.

182
00:17:31,890 --> 00:17:34,200
This is fucking ridiculous!

183
00:17:35,670 --> 00:17:38,310
You're out of your mind!

184
00:17:59,000 --> 00:18:02,380
Would you like a pie?

185
00:18:07,200 --> 00:18:09,990
No...

186
00:18:13,440 --> 00:18:16,840
But it is a good pie.

187
00:18:20,220 --> 00:18:26,630
Nevertheless. Last time you gave me pie...

188
00:18:27,330 --> 00:18:31,780
..I cut into it with my tiny pie cutter...

189
00:18:32,660 --> 00:18:38,490
..and millions of birds flew out - hitting me in the
eyes and the temples!

190
00:18:39,380 --> 00:18:45,020
I was confused - it was a trick pie!

191
00:18:54,550 --> 00:18:57,850
Why you no like my pie?

192
00:19:02,950 --> 00:19:05,240
I just told you.

193
00:19:07,210 --> 00:19:10,860
Eeee you don't like my pie-eee...

194
00:19:11,600 --> 00:19:13,220
Oooh tricky pie...

195
00:19:13,690 --> 00:19:18,400
Aiiiiii bring pie to show you I love you!

196
00:19:19,030 --> 00:19:22,320
Why can't you just tell me you love me?

197
00:19:24,040 --> 00:19:28,600
Pastry goods every fucking day with you!

198
00:19:29,040 --> 00:19:33,480
-You don't like pie?
-Ooohhhhh pie...

199
00:19:33,810 --> 00:19:38,530
- Whyyoudon't liiiike..
-Idon'twantpie..

200
00:19:39,980 --> 00:19:45,390
Arghghghghghg I don't want pie..

201
00:19:45,790 --> 00:19:50,040
-Wantpie wantpie..
-Urghghghgh..!

202
00:19:50,390 --> 00:19:52,140
Thanks a lot!

203
00:20:05,640 --> 00:20:10,300
-Penetrating theatre... Thank you!
-I like this hat. It's quite cool.

204
00:20:10,560 --> 00:20:13,190
-It's good.
-In the kind of Pete Doherty way.

205
00:20:13,700 --> 00:20:16,520
Ooh I can't find my band!

206
00:20:18,230 --> 00:20:21,060
Mate, your're the frontman - they're behind'ya.

207
00:20:21,160 --> 00:20:23,650
Oh yeah, cheers!

208
00:20:32,110 --> 00:20:34,690
-What's that?
-He plays Give us a clue.

209
00:20:36,090 --> 00:20:40,310
-Oh yeah, he's quite good at that isn't he.
-He's really good at it, actually.

210
00:20:40,880 --> 00:20:42,690
Yeah, he's a dab hand.

211
00:20:42,870 --> 00:20:47,650
So.. right, well it's time to move on now,
to phase two point nine of the evening.

212
00:20:47,960 --> 00:20:53,100
Which is my favourite. It's the part where we introduce you to
the guests - to people you're gonna be meeting in the show.

213
00:20:53,290 --> 00:20:57,240
-We've got some great people.
-Oh who have we got? We've got Daley Thompson.

214
00:20:57,620 --> 00:21:01,970
He's gonna come down, he's gonna saw
a calculator in half..

215
00:21:03,360 --> 00:21:05,730
..to see where the numbers live!

216
00:21:09,320 --> 00:21:16,640
Oh yeah.. And he's gonna shave his moustache off..
..to reveal a tattoo of a moustache.

217
00:21:17,130 --> 00:21:19,220
-So he's quite.. -Daley.
-Daley.

218
00:21:19,460 --> 00:21:24,880
So before that - we didn't wanna peak too soon -
we're gonna have a guest now a great guy..

219
00:21:25,430 --> 00:21:31,010
a man who.. a great friend of mine, a great friend
of yours, erm, not a friend of yours..

220
00:21:31,590 --> 00:21:34,170
..sadly - he hates you. But..

221
00:21:34,540 --> 00:21:39,200
Dunno why you chose to sit so close to the
front really, cos.. you know what I mean?

222
00:21:39,490 --> 00:21:43,450
It's a bit weird considering everything that
has happend between you and the hatred..

223
00:21:44,510 --> 00:21:45,940
..that has being brewing.

224
00:21:45,970 --> 00:21:50,270
But that aside, please welcome to the stage
- Naboo the enigma!

225
00:22:10,990 --> 00:22:13,520
Look at him, he's like a puma in a turban.

226
00:22:14,420 --> 00:22:17,410
Look at that - what's going on that mind? Nobody knows?

227
00:22:17,950 --> 00:22:21,640
He could be wrestling with the dilemmas of time itself,
solving the riddles of the universe..

228
00:22:22,010 --> 00:22:24,380
Deep stuff. Let's have a listen.

229
00:22:27,190 --> 00:22:31,920
I might have a pot noodle later. Chicken
and mushroom.

230
00:22:33,370 --> 00:22:35,020
Naboo the enigma!

231
00:22:36,150 --> 00:22:37,090
Powerful stuff.

232
00:22:47,770 --> 00:22:49,660
What are YOU doing here?

233
00:22:51,830 --> 00:22:56,300
I warned you, gonna have to turn my
back on you!

234
00:23:05,570 --> 00:23:08,000
Let that be a lesson to you!

235
00:23:11,650 --> 00:23:13,210
Naboo the enigma!

236
00:23:13,220 --> 00:23:14,890
Are you ready for your next guest?

237
00:23:15,890 --> 00:23:19,570
Go mad, scream, make him feel welcome: Bollo!

238
00:23:25,700 --> 00:23:30,400
Hey Vincey, good to see you.
Good to see you!

239
00:23:31,870 --> 00:23:34,050
Heey long time no see!

240
00:23:36,490 --> 00:23:38,120
Hellooo!

241
00:23:38,950 --> 00:23:40,770
Top shelf!

242
00:23:45,180 --> 00:23:48,720
I like the bottom shelf too, don't worry.

243
00:23:52,890 --> 00:23:56,790
Look at your hair, looks wicked! What you got
in there? A bit of Rootbooster?

244
00:23:56,820 --> 00:23:58,770
Yeah, I made a bit of an effort tonight,
you know?

245
00:23:59,090 --> 00:24:01,320
Bit of gel, bit of mousse, product, huh?

246
00:24:01,650 --> 00:24:02,890
Nice, that's looking good.

247
00:24:02,900 --> 00:24:05,540
Looks lovely, it's quite modish - the way that it's...

248
00:24:12,830 --> 00:24:15,860
Jesus.. So how have you been anyway Bollo?
You've been good?

249
00:24:16,060 --> 00:24:19,120
-You've been busy?
-Yeah, I've been good, I've been busy since the TV show.

250
00:24:19,510 --> 00:24:23,820
Yeah, very busy - I had audititon
for Peter Jackson.

251
00:24:24,070 --> 00:24:26,650
-No way! Peter Jackson?
-Yeah!

252
00:24:27,450 --> 00:24:29,490
Yeah? What's he doin' these days?

253
00:24:29,850 --> 00:24:32,260
He's thinking of remaking King Kong.

254
00:24:36,810 --> 00:24:39,740
-He's thinking of remaking it, is he?
-Yeah.

255
00:24:40,180 --> 00:24:42,420
Yeah, when did you do the audition?

256
00:24:42,870 --> 00:24:46,360
Well it is quite a while ago, you know, but
these things they take time.

257
00:24:46,500 --> 00:24:49,520
Yeah.. You get out of the house much
these days Bollo? Or you...

258
00:24:49,770 --> 00:24:54,200
No, not really - I kind of sit at home, learning my
lines, waiting for Peter to call me, you know?

259
00:24:55,310 --> 00:24:58,460
-Right, you know that it's already...
-Yeah, don't tell him, don't tell him!

260
00:24:58,580 --> 00:25:01,220
-What? Huh?
-Heey where are you from?

261
00:25:03,070 --> 00:25:06,010
-I think he liked me.
-Yeah. I bet he loved you!

262
00:25:06,040 --> 00:25:08,030
I just think he hasn't make his mind up yet,
you know?

263
00:25:08,100 --> 00:25:10,630
-That'd be it, yeah.
-That he's taking his time.

264
00:25:10,690 --> 00:25:12,510
-But I think he's keeping an eye on me.
-Oh yeah.

265
00:25:12,710 --> 00:25:16,950
And I'm not overly sure, but I think Peter
might be in tonight.

266
00:25:17,430 --> 00:25:19,390
-Really?
-Sitting up to back, yeah.

267
00:25:20,220 --> 00:25:23,630
I'm pretty sure I saw him in the bar
earlier eating a flapjack.

268
00:25:24,720 --> 00:25:27,020
He does like flapjacks.

269
00:25:28,020 --> 00:25:32,370
Do you mind if I... do a bit of funny business
for Peter?

270
00:25:36,400 --> 00:25:38,320
Funny business?

271
00:25:38,250 --> 00:25:42,530
Well, you know, the audition it was quite serious,
I'd like to show Peter Bollo's funny side.

272
00:25:42,650 --> 00:25:44,410
Maybe do a bit of stand-up?

273
00:25:44,420 --> 00:25:45,420
-Yeah. -Okay.
-Is that okay?

274
00:25:45,420 --> 00:25:46,620
-Yeah.
-I'll get a mic.

275
00:25:47,440 --> 00:25:51,530
-Okay I'll go over there, you can introduce me.
-Yeah, I'll bring you on, make it all professional, yeah?

276
00:25:52,020 --> 00:25:54,800
Okay, cool.
It's quite exciting.

277
00:26:03,050 --> 00:26:06,150
Does Naboo know you are here?

278
00:26:12,740 --> 00:26:14,550
He's been dealt with.

279
00:26:14,630 --> 00:26:18,050
Look at all these seats, he had to sit
right there at the front.

280
00:26:18,790 --> 00:26:20,030
What a dick.

281
00:26:22,440 --> 00:26:25,410
Okay.. So, Bollo have you ever done
stand-up before?

282
00:26:26,730 --> 00:26:27,770
No.

283
00:26:28,720 --> 00:26:30,390
Are you feeling confident?

284
00:26:31,800 --> 00:26:32,720
No.

285
00:26:34,060 --> 00:26:39,860
Okay, ladies and gentlemen you're in for a treat tonight, mate
he's got some tight one liners, he's a little bit saucy in places,

286
00:26:39,900 --> 00:26:45,030
don't let that put you off. Here he is
- Bollo the stand-up!

287
00:27:15,880 --> 00:27:21,690
I was.. I was in the supermarket the other day
and I had a shopping trolley...

288
00:27:22,930 --> 00:27:28,210
And I was pushing it along and it had
a wonky wheel.

289
00:27:29,920 --> 00:27:34,000
And I pushed it along a bit.. and it went
a bit to the left..

290
00:27:35,040 --> 00:27:39,740
..and so I pushed it a bit further and it
went a bit further to the left.

291
00:27:40,390 --> 00:27:44,510
And I pushed it a little bit further still and it
went even further to the left.

292
00:27:45,590 --> 00:27:49,680
And in the end I kind of ended up back
where I was in the first place.

293
00:28:00,600 --> 00:28:04,170
Eh.. um... here's another one.

294
00:28:06,610 --> 00:28:12,380
Very funny thing happened to me on the way
here tonight. Yes, it did!

295
00:28:12,660 --> 00:28:18,750
There was a man, come up to me and he said: Bollo!
He said...

296
00:28:20,340 --> 00:28:22,180
Oh hang on, was it a man?

297
00:28:24,480 --> 00:28:27,770
Sorry I mucked it up. I think it might
have been a lady..

298
00:28:28,430 --> 00:28:32,870
Let me start again - basically just passed
and come up to me and they said: Bollo!

299
00:28:32,920 --> 00:28:37,680
-What's this? Naboo! Naboolio!
-Next time you go to Brixton make sure that...

300
00:28:52,390 --> 00:28:54,060
-Are you okay?
-What happend?

301
00:28:54,100 --> 00:28:55,120
-What?
-What happend?

302
00:28:55,200 --> 00:28:57,430
Oh it went brilliantly - you did three hours!

303
00:28:58,460 --> 00:29:00,640
They carried you around, you did encores...

304
00:29:00,750 --> 00:29:01,780
-Oh really?
-You were amazing!

305
00:29:02,090 --> 00:29:07,030
-Oh good, was Peter laughing?
-Oh he spat flapjack all on his legs!

306
00:29:17,740 --> 00:29:21,740
Okay, well there you go that's it - you met Naboo,
you met Bollo you met everyone who's gonna be in the show.

307
00:29:21,820 --> 00:29:24,550
It's time to do the show. You met everyone
who's gonna be in it so..

308
00:29:25,330 --> 00:29:33,000
Wait just one minute! What about me!? Bob Fossil!
Yes! King of the Zooniverse!

309
00:29:33,160 --> 00:29:40,110
My brother! I'm king of the Zooniverse!
And now I'm king of Brixton!

310
00:29:41,190 --> 00:29:46,690
I know you! I know you! You sexually
confuse me!

311
00:29:47,970 --> 00:29:50,280
I fought with you in 'Nam!

312
00:29:50,500 --> 00:29:52,690
Steppy steppy step step!

313
00:30:02,410 --> 00:30:03,750
Hey! Oh, I don't need this.

314
00:30:05,860 --> 00:30:08,880
Brixton! I own you!

315
00:30:15,780 --> 00:30:17,970
Oh, I just popped a lung.

316
00:30:20,420 --> 00:30:23,100
Just shaking out a piss stain.

317
00:30:23,980 --> 00:30:26,580
Good to have you on board there Bob, I didn't
expect to see you but..

318
00:30:26,710 --> 00:30:28,380
-Great to be here!
-Good to see you.

319
00:30:39,210 --> 00:30:41,690
So, you been good? What have you
been up to? Fill us in.

320
00:30:41,830 --> 00:30:47,360
Well as you probably read in all the tabloids -
I'm eighteen months pregnant.

321
00:30:47,480 --> 00:30:51,140
-I've got a bun in the oven.
-Nice work. Nice work. Who's the dad?

322
00:30:51,320 --> 00:30:56,000
It's Tom over there and your marriage is a sham!!

323
00:31:00,140 --> 00:31:02,080
Anything else you've been up to?

324
00:31:02,150 --> 00:31:06,970
Oh yeah, I started this Underwater
Language Academy.

325
00:31:07,050 --> 00:31:11,140
Yeah, check this out!
Hi, I'm Bob Fossil, how are you?

326
00:31:11,270 --> 00:31:14,750
What's going on with you?
(underwaterish gibberish:)

327
00:31:15,860 --> 00:31:21,210
Thank you, thank you. Please.
Wooow!

328
00:31:22,540 --> 00:31:25,790
Anything else you've been doing,
that's in the script?

329
00:31:26,800 --> 00:31:30,630
Oh yeah, oh yeah - that black and white thing
I got in the mail.

330
00:31:30,690 --> 00:31:32,670
Yeah. With the words on it.

331
00:31:32,720 --> 00:31:40,560
The.. the devil scratchings.. Yeah I was in this
detective show in the US, called Big Leg.

332
00:31:41,450 --> 00:31:43,210
-Big Leg?
-Yeah.

333
00:31:43,580 --> 00:31:49,790
You know how detectives have disabilities,
you know, like Ironside - he sits in a rolly chair.

334
00:31:50,220 --> 00:31:55,450
And that Murder-she-wrote-lady is a nymphomaniac.
Where's the murderer?

335
00:31:56,010 --> 00:31:57,580
Let me at 'em!

336
00:31:58,940 --> 00:32:01,060
My finger's on fire!

337
00:32:02,600 --> 00:32:06,720
And Colombo likes to shit his raincoat
and give it to his wife.

338
00:32:07,720 --> 00:32:15,590
Aaa one more question.. ooh here honey. Give that
to the dry-cleaner's, I've got a glass eye.

339
00:32:17,910 --> 00:32:21,180
-Is that why he shits himself?
-Yeah, he don't know where that shit's goin'.

340
00:32:21,720 --> 00:32:23,180
It's like s sprinkler.

341
00:32:29,880 --> 00:32:31,080
Here honey.

342
00:32:33,430 --> 00:32:34,530
-Right..
-Right?

343
00:32:34,600 --> 00:32:36,320
Ooh Brixton!

344
00:32:39,490 --> 00:32:43,220
-So you've played Big Leg, yeah?
-Yeah what's his all angle on the detective genre?

345
00:32:43,330 --> 00:32:46,090
-I'm glad you ask.
-I bet you are.

346
00:32:48,250 --> 00:32:54,460
Big Leg has a big fucking leg, right?
He sits in the cop station, right?

347
00:32:54,790 --> 00:33:00,430
You know, he's like smoking a big cigar, he's
dabbling his balls with a moist towelette.

348
00:33:00,930 --> 00:33:09,010
You know, while his leg goes out for miles around,
kicking ass and fighting crime!

349
00:33:09,370 --> 00:33:17,670
Here you go burglar. Here you go embezzler!
Come on into the station, cuff'em - I hate Whites!

350
00:33:19,780 --> 00:33:21,540
That was my catchphrase.

351
00:33:22,800 --> 00:33:26,340
-Hate you Whites!
-We all do.

352
00:33:27,410 --> 00:33:31,350
Okay well that.. that sounds good,
we look for to seeing that.

353
00:33:31,880 --> 00:33:34,110
-Yeah.
-We're gonna do the show now, so now if you wanna..

354
00:33:34,270 --> 00:33:41,290
I can't wait, I love to act - check me out.
I'm an actor - I know what to say.

355
00:33:43,080 --> 00:33:45,780
Okay well, we'll try to find a place
for that sort of stuff...

356
00:33:46,910 --> 00:33:49,220
Okay, are you ready? We're gonna do it, so
you're gonna get backstage and we're gonna finish..

357
00:33:49,220 --> 00:33:54,190
Oh, one more thing, I'd love to just warm up
in front of the audience if that's okay?

358
00:33:54,767 --> 00:33:56,899
Is that alright with you lot?

359
00:33:58,620 --> 00:34:04,500
Bob Fossil! Is he a genius or is he..
..or is he a retard?

360
00:34:06,780 --> 00:34:09,160
Um... I'm a renius.

361
00:34:10,310 --> 00:34:13,560
Are you ready to rock Brixton?

362
00:34:16,750 --> 00:34:19,210
Then hit it!

363
00:34:30,520 --> 00:34:35,510
Oh Brixton, give it to me Brixton, give it up,
give it up, give it up.

364
00:34:36,060 --> 00:34:37,930
Brixton, give it up Brixton!

365
00:34:39,790 --> 00:34:41,030
Oh yeah!

366
00:34:47,630 --> 00:34:51,610
Check this out!
Ooh yeah!

367
00:34:53,060 --> 00:34:55,340
I'm lactating!

368
00:35:02,750 --> 00:35:04,490
Hey look - I'm sewing!

369
00:35:07,660 --> 00:35:11,870
I'm reading a comic.
I'm a robot!

370
00:35:15,182 --> 00:35:19,758
Ow! And that's why I don't like cricket!

371
00:35:31,130 --> 00:35:33,050
Bob Fossil - there he is.

372
00:35:33,450 --> 00:35:35,340
The light blue bitch.

373
00:35:36,060 --> 00:35:38,970
Okay, well that's it - you've met everyone
who's gonna be in the show. It's time to do the show now.

374
00:35:39,300 --> 00:35:41,210
-And.. yeah?  -Yeah, cool, let's go.
-Let's do it!

375
00:35:41,590 --> 00:35:46,280
-That's nice, what's that? You changed your little top have you?
-Yeah, do you like this? It's nice - simple design, yeah?

376
00:35:47,600 --> 00:35:49,050
Yeah, exactly!

377
00:35:53,780 --> 00:35:55,770
You know what? Hey hot stuff!

378
00:35:57,370 --> 00:35:59,570
Are you from a fifties cartoon?

379
00:36:01,680 --> 00:36:04,940
Feel that, look. Feel it! Pull it, give it a pull.

380
00:36:04,960 --> 00:36:08,290
-That is a durable fabric.
-That springs right back into place.

381
00:36:08,360 --> 00:36:09,660
-It does, doesn't it? I bet that..
-But...

382
00:36:09,740 --> 00:36:10,390
I bet that was expen...

383
00:36:10,390 --> 00:36:12,590
Weirdly enough, lets you breathe!

384
00:36:13,210 --> 00:36:18,000
-I bet that's an expensive item, isn't it?
-Not at all. Reasonably priced.

385
00:36:18,080 --> 00:36:20,480
-In the foyer. You're liking that?
-Yeah. I've got my own...

386
00:36:21,360 --> 00:36:26,820
-It's part of the Vince Noir merchandise range, yeah.
-Well I've got a range of merchandise comin' out.

387
00:36:27,040 --> 00:36:32,410
Don't you worry about that - Howard Moon range.
I've got a hot range of bassoon cases coming out.

388
00:36:33,370 --> 00:36:37,790
Yeah! For the... for bassoon players in the
crowd tonight..? Yeah!

389
00:36:38,210 --> 00:36:39,900
Get fucked!

390
00:36:41,590 --> 00:36:43,830
There'd be two if you're lucky.

391
00:36:44,450 --> 00:36:47,590
Yeah, we had to cancel that order, that wasn't really
working out...I spoke to the merchandise people

392
00:36:48,370 --> 00:36:50,190
-What are you talking about?
-We had to cancel that.

393
00:36:50,070 --> 00:36:51,870
-That was a sure-fire thing!
-What?

394
00:36:51,950 --> 00:36:55,180
What about the.. what about the trumpet sock?

395
00:36:57,670 --> 00:37:01,820
-We didn't even know, what the trumpet sock was.
-I told you what the trumpet sock was.

396
00:37:02,330 --> 00:37:08,770
I told you time and time again. You know,
a sock - knitted sock - for the trumpet!

397
00:37:09,390 --> 00:37:12,070
You're going out on a picnic, you don't
wanna take the full trumpet case,

398
00:37:12,090 --> 00:37:15,360
so you take your little sort of
crochet trumpet sock.

399
00:37:15,990 --> 00:37:18,900
What, in case the trumpet's feet get cold?

400
00:37:19,010 --> 00:37:22,220
No no it's just, you know, it's a light-weight
sort of trumpet sock, you know?

401
00:37:22,380 --> 00:37:26,100
It comes in a range of colours - you've got brown, you've got
your beige, you've got your muffin, you've got your nutmeg.

402
00:37:26,130 --> 00:37:27,800
Do you know what I mean?

403
00:37:28,180 --> 00:37:31,600
-Nutmeg crochet trumpet sock?
-That's right!

404
00:37:32,660 --> 00:37:35,140
-We had to cancel that.
-Aaa foolish.

405
00:37:35,150 --> 00:37:40,120
But don't worry, we had some ideas, yeah, we came up with some
merchandise for you, that you can wear on stage as well, yeah?

406
00:37:40,200 --> 00:37:44,300
-Yeah?
-Check this out - look at this! Howard Moon... yeah.

407
00:37:45,050 --> 00:37:50,560
See? Look at this? The Howard Moon pink
funky pants! How cool are they?

408
00:37:51,210 --> 00:37:55,560
Why don't you wear those? We wanna
see Howard in these, don't we?

409
00:38:02,510 --> 00:38:07,440
-Get your northern pins out, come on!
-This isn't an issue about my legs, I have got good legs.

410
00:38:07,570 --> 00:38:13,960
But that's not the issue, you know - I'm an a..
I'm an aaa shut it! You tart!

411
00:38:15,270 --> 00:38:18,220
-I'm an artist, you know - I've got poise and dignity.
-Yeah?

412
00:38:18,320 --> 00:38:20,410
-I'm not doing that on stage.
-Cool, okay.

413
00:38:20,620 --> 00:38:24,130
I understand where you're coming from,
I've got poise and dignity too.

414
00:38:24,550 --> 00:38:26,480
-Should we get on with the show?
-Let's do it, okay.

415
00:38:26,510 --> 00:38:28,700
Okay, are you ready for the show?

416
00:38:29,510 --> 00:38:32,070
Top shelf are you ready?

417
00:38:34,240 --> 00:38:36,670
Lower shelf?

418
00:38:41,420 --> 00:38:48,010
It's a little piece that we've written for you,
I hope you enjoy it. It's simply called: The Ruby of Kukundu.

419
00:39:15,830 --> 00:39:18,000
The Arctic tundra..

420
00:39:20,250 --> 00:39:23,750
..using some sheets.

421
00:39:25,170 --> 00:39:29,000
Ten thousand years ago.

422
00:41:13,100 --> 00:41:16,810
Ten thousand years later!

423
00:41:32,080 --> 00:41:33,800
I'll come on again.

424
00:41:43,840 --> 00:41:45,220
Yes...

425
00:41:47,200 --> 00:41:49,260
Thanks mum..

426
00:42:17,380 --> 00:42:19,790
Ow! chica chicaaa!

427
00:42:20,460 --> 00:42:22,710
You know I've got the moves!

428
00:42:23,160 --> 00:42:25,210
They call me doctor mime!

429
00:42:37,560 --> 00:42:39,560
Hello, Naboo's nick-nacks.

430
00:42:40,610 --> 00:42:45,620
Hi, Naboo's not here at the moment, but I am so any queries
you have - just fire them straight at me - Howard Moon.

431
00:42:46,080 --> 00:42:48,620
Yeah, we don't have any of those, I'm afraid, no...

432
00:42:48,880 --> 00:42:53,430
What we do have though is very interesting and
rare jazz LPs which I brought to the store...

433
00:42:54,050 --> 00:42:55,810
Hello..?

434
00:42:56,590 --> 00:42:58,780
Huh, must have gone in a tunnel..

435
00:43:11,540 --> 00:43:13,560
What the fuck was that?

436
00:43:14,260 --> 00:43:15,960
-Sweep it.
-Sweep what?

437
00:43:16,440 --> 00:43:18,780
Sweep up the mime shards.

438
00:43:20,330 --> 00:43:22,040
Where are they?

439
00:43:24,050 --> 00:43:26,870
-All around.
-All around?

440
00:43:29,420 --> 00:43:31,290
Watch your eyes.

441
00:43:32,490 --> 00:43:37,130
Or you'll have to go to the mime hospital..
..see the mime doctor.

442
00:43:37,740 --> 00:43:39,930
-Hey how are you? Are you alright?
-Good yeah, I'm really good.

443
00:43:40,040 --> 00:43:44,410
-Yeah? Have you sold anything yet?
-Not as yet, but it's early days, early days, early days.

444
00:43:44,470 --> 00:43:45,830
-Yep?
-Yep.

445
00:43:45,880 --> 00:43:49,200
-You've been tryin' to flog your moody jazz records?
-Yeah.

446
00:43:49,280 --> 00:43:52,610
-As if anyone's buying this record
- look how big his face is!

447
00:43:53,160 --> 00:43:56,920
Why should that be a problem? That's
Larry 'Big face' Eddison.

448
00:43:57,810 --> 00:43:59,800
One of the biggest faces in bebop.

449
00:44:00,240 --> 00:44:02,480
-One of the biggest faces?
-Yeah, I mean, there's...

450
00:44:02,480 --> 00:44:08,020
-You mean there's a bigger face?
-Yeah, there's Toots Enormous-Face Tellemans.

451
00:44:08,750 --> 00:44:10,590
-He's like a frying pan!
-Yeah..

452
00:44:11,530 --> 00:44:13,780
Rest of the band just hold him up.

453
00:44:14,570 --> 00:44:18,620
Well don't you worry about it, yeah? Cos I've got
these things! These are gonna fly off the shelves, yeah?

454
00:44:19,050 --> 00:44:22,070
Naboo is gonna love us! Check these
bitches out, yeah?

455
00:44:22,070 --> 00:44:25,300
-What are they?
-Wigs of my own hair, how cool are they?

456
00:44:25,610 --> 00:44:32,880
Come on, no - look at them - not only are they stylish, yeah? In that
kind of Mick Jagger, Joan Jett, Stig of the dump way, yeah?

457
00:44:34,140 --> 00:44:38,260
But when you put one on - they transform
you into a popstar like me!

458
00:44:39,610 --> 00:44:41,960
Yeah, but you're not a popstar, right?
You work in a shop with me.

459
00:44:43,290 --> 00:44:46,400
Yeah, but I'm gonna be, check me out!

460
00:44:54,580 --> 00:45:01,840
~ Driving along on a perspex sea,
heart beats fast like a tiny machine ~

461
00:45:01,920 --> 00:45:08,800
~ I am electro boy..
..I am electro girl. ~

462
00:45:21,590 --> 00:45:23,010
You little tart.

463
00:45:24,160 --> 00:45:29,060
Yeah, well you know I've got dreams too - I'm not goin' to
be a shop keeper my entire life, check me out!

464
00:45:31,890 --> 00:45:34,120
Yeah... Believe it!

465
00:45:45,760 --> 00:45:47,420
Shut it and listen.

466
00:46:15,760 --> 00:46:20,830
Yes indeed. Anyway, enough of this shenanigans.
Why are you late for work this morn'?

467
00:46:20,850 --> 00:46:24,150
Was I late for work? This mooorn'?

468
00:46:24,190 --> 00:46:26,640
-This fair morn'.
-This fair morn'.

469
00:46:26,850 --> 00:46:31,790
Well I tell you why, basically, what happened, right, I was in bed
last night, it was really weird and I was all tucked up in my duvet,

470
00:46:31,850 --> 00:46:37,870
it was really nice, so I was just nodding off, yeah, when this
kingfisher came in - he was massive, his body was

471
00:46:37,740 --> 00:46:44,130
about that wide yeah? But he had men's legs, sort of.. he was
walking like that. And he had a kingf- and a really long beak and he just

472
00:46:44,180 --> 00:46:53,270
knelt on me, right, and just pecked me like that - really tiny pecks
right in bridge of the nose, oh it was.. all night, I couldn't sleep.

473
00:46:59,860 --> 00:47:01,770
Okay, fair enough.

474
00:47:02,210 --> 00:47:06,340
I know why you were late for work this morning, I know why.
Cos when I got up you were looking in the mirror, yeah?

475
00:47:06,410 --> 00:47:11,480
And when I left the house you were still looking in the mirror.
And you had a mirrorball suit on, yeah?

476
00:47:11,520 --> 00:47:15,500
And you were trapped in your own reflection,
you know? You're like a budgie.

477
00:47:17,470 --> 00:47:19,950
I'm not like a budgie!

478
00:47:46,190 --> 00:47:48,890
I mean why can't you just take a leaf out of
my wardrobe, huh?

479
00:47:49,490 --> 00:47:52,170
-See what I do, when I get up?
-What's going on there?

480
00:47:52,610 --> 00:47:56,660
This is what I do - I get up of a morn',
slip into some nice slinky trews,

481
00:47:57,520 --> 00:48:03,220
pop on a nice muted shirt, strap on a couple
of radio mics and I'm away.

482
00:48:04,010 --> 00:48:07,600
Why does it take you so long to get ready of
a god damn cotton-picking morn'?

483
00:48:07,740 --> 00:48:11,400
Well this morning - the reason it took so
long is cos I was waiting for this,

484
00:48:11,520 --> 00:48:14,240
and it came this morning, I've been waiting for it
for six weeks, yeah?

485
00:48:14,290 --> 00:48:16,430
-What is it?
-Check it out. It's a new hair drier!

486
00:48:16,450 --> 00:48:19,080
It's a new Jean-Claude Jacquettie hair drier.

487
00:48:19,430 --> 00:48:21,880
Do you know Jean-Claude Jacquettie,
the French designer?

488
00:48:23,080 --> 00:48:27,250
Yeah, a few people know him, he's genius! Have
you seen the advert? It's amazing!

489
00:48:27,290 --> 00:48:28,890
You must have! It goes like this:

490
00:48:28,910 --> 00:48:33,370
~ Jean-Claude Jacquettie with his jacket on,
Jean-Claude Jacquettie with his jacket off. ~

491
00:48:33,460 --> 00:48:37,760
~ Jean-Claude Jacquettie puts his jacket on,
Jean-Claude Jacquettie takes his jacket off ~

492
00:48:37,930 --> 00:48:45,150
~ Jacket on, jacket off, jacket on, jacket off.
Ooooh stylish, oooh Wokkaman! ~

493
00:48:45,240 --> 00:48:51,600
~ Runnin' round Paris with a tiny haversack,
looking to the future with a telescope, ~

494
00:48:51,630 --> 00:48:55,130
~ Drawing on the past with an eagle claw,
eagle claw - why? ~

495
00:48:55,170 --> 00:48:57,970
~ Eagle claw, eagle claw, bo-bo-boingboing ~

496
00:48:58,010 --> 00:49:01,380
~ Take the fashion coin, slot it in the
pocket of your bum bag, take it to Milan, ~

497
00:49:01,430 --> 00:49:05,830
~ take it to Japan, take it to the man
with a fashion plan - Jacquettie! ~

498
00:49:18,790 --> 00:49:20,460
Never heard of him.

499
00:49:21,500 --> 00:49:28,080
Well you will have soon, cos not only does it fold away, but it's
the most powerful hair drier in Europe, check it out!

500
00:49:33,960 --> 00:49:38,010
Come on that's worth the ticket price alone!

501
00:49:42,020 --> 00:49:45,290
Oooh... Jacquettie.

502
00:49:45,830 --> 00:49:49,010
That is a powerful hair drier.
Watch out!

503
00:49:53,940 --> 00:49:56,370
-Oooh..
-Eeeey..

504
00:49:57,360 --> 00:50:01,010
That's the third time this week I've nearly
killed that innocent girl.

505
00:50:02,280 --> 00:50:04,540
Well, ironically she's the killer.

506
00:50:06,430 --> 00:50:09,530
-What, Bunches?
-Yees Bunches McGinty.

507
00:50:10,390 --> 00:50:12,480
-Bunches McGinty?
-Reknowned killer.

508
00:50:12,560 --> 00:50:15,810
-How does she kill people?
-With the Chuppachup lollies.

509
00:50:17,040 --> 00:50:23,300
-Straight in the eye.
-Oooh, really? Oooh...

510
00:50:30,190 --> 00:50:33,760
I thought he was the killer, he had a target
on his chest and everything!

511
00:50:34,510 --> 00:50:36,570
He was just a mod.

512
00:50:42,750 --> 00:50:47,310
Ooh, I've killed one of my own,
there's no way I can go on..

513
00:50:47,320 --> 00:50:50,800
Don't do it Vince. Don't blow dry
your own brains out.

514
00:50:52,110 --> 00:50:55,260
Gonna have to put a call in to Wella
and smooth it over.

515
00:50:56,500 --> 00:50:58,640
Anyway, look, answer me' this question, yeah?

516
00:50:59,390 --> 00:51:02,680
Why do I have to open up shop every day?
Why do I have to do that? Why me?

517
00:51:03,350 --> 00:51:06,530
Cos you're the only one who's trained-in mime.

518
00:51:09,030 --> 00:51:11,620
That is true actually.

519
00:51:12,060 --> 00:51:14,440
-Cuppa tea?
-Yeah, alright.

520
00:51:26,200 --> 00:51:29,340
-Sugar?
-I'll have two.

521
00:51:37,610 --> 00:51:39,270
Nice.

522
00:51:42,050 --> 00:51:43,900
Careful, that's piping hot.

523
00:51:45,720 --> 00:51:48,230
Oooh, sweep up the shards,
sweep up the shards.

524
00:51:48,400 --> 00:51:50,600
-Watch your eyes.
-Actually forget it.

525
00:51:50,670 --> 00:51:51,750
-What?
-There's a customer, there's a cu..

526
00:51:51,820 --> 00:51:55,080
Assume the position.
The other one!

527
00:52:01,260 --> 00:52:07,150
I am doctor Henry Jay Sexually
Frustrated Puppet-Fucker.

528
00:52:11,260 --> 00:52:16,480
Yes, that's my name.
I believe it's German.

529
00:52:17,370 --> 00:52:25,610
World reknowned archeologist. I love archeology,
it makes me feel like a topless puppy.

530
00:52:29,000 --> 00:52:30,950
-Good day, sirs.
-Hello.

531
00:52:31,000 --> 00:52:33,690
I'm looking for Naboo.

532
00:52:33,780 --> 00:52:37,900
-Yeah, can you get out of my light?
-Very well sir.

533
00:52:38,120 --> 00:52:39,820
You are the light.

534
00:52:41,130 --> 00:52:46,150
Naboo isn't here at the moment,
he's out buying rugs in Quebec..

535
00:52:46,940 --> 00:52:52,200
But I'm here so I am fully qualified to look at this
sort of archeological stuff so I could have a...

536
00:52:52,340 --> 00:52:54,070
-..look at it..
-No no no no!

537
00:52:54,800 --> 00:53:03,950
Do not open the box! Only Naboo shall open
the box. No one knows what's inside.

538
00:53:07,930 --> 00:53:14,030
It could be priceless jewels or
unimaginable evil.

539
00:53:17,200 --> 00:53:20,450
-Oh look! Wiglets!
-Yeah!

540
00:53:20,830 --> 00:53:24,780
How cool are they? They're made from my
old hair, do you like those?

541
00:53:24,700 --> 00:53:26,110
They are amazing.

542
00:53:26,120 --> 00:53:28,790
Do you like those? If you like those, you
might be interested in these.

543
00:53:28,990 --> 00:53:33,240
These are some very rare jazz LPs, I picked up
on the continent, this one is Freddie Hubbard -

544
00:53:33,270 --> 00:53:38,070
live at the Black hawk now. Freddie was one of the
foremost bebop trumpeters of his generation,

545
00:53:38,090 --> 00:53:42,210
in fact it's more postbop really, rather than bebop,
but he was incredible, incredible trumpet player.

546
00:53:51,590 --> 00:53:53,990
Um... Take that as a NO.

547
00:53:58,540 --> 00:54:01,690
-Anyway, wiglets!
-Yeah, how cool are they, yeah?

548
00:54:02,120 --> 00:54:06,460
Not only do they make you look stylish, but when you
put them on they transform you into a popstar!

549
00:54:06,870 --> 00:54:09,740
I've always wanted to be a popstar!

550
00:54:12,230 --> 00:54:13,590
Pop one on!

551
00:54:21,880 --> 00:54:29,330
~ Digging up bones with a plastic spade
finding ruins from another age ~

552
00:54:29,340 --> 00:54:36,600
~ I'm Archeology boy..
...I'm Archeology girl. ~

553
00:54:37,010 --> 00:54:38,610
I'll take three!

554
00:54:44,750 --> 00:54:48,770
-That'd be seven hundred thousand euros, please.
-Very well.

555
00:54:49,030 --> 00:54:51,370
Oh, one note, cheeky!

556
00:54:52,870 --> 00:54:55,020
Well, I'm off to be a popstar.

557
00:54:55,500 --> 00:54:58,760
-I thought you were an archeologist.
-FUCK ARCHEOLOGY!

558
00:55:00,140 --> 00:55:01,590
-Good day sirs.
-Yeah..

559
00:55:01,700 --> 00:55:05,720
-Mate, you forgot yout box.
-I said good day, sirs!

560
00:55:06,170 --> 00:55:10,080
~ Digging up bones with a plastic spade... ~

561
00:55:13,550 --> 00:55:16,180
Well, that's some of the strangest acting I've ever
seen in my life..

562
00:55:16,920 --> 00:55:23,960
Well he's left his box though, which is a bit of a turn-up so I suggest
I make sure Naboo gets this here box. You can take the day off,

563
00:55:24,030 --> 00:55:29,490
if you fancy, get your hair done or whatever is it you
need to get done and I make sure Naboo gets this box.

564
00:55:29,950 --> 00:55:31,900
-Okay, cool, excelent!
-How about that?

565
00:55:32,000 --> 00:55:35,470
Um.. You heard what he said though?
You're not gonna open it, are you?

566
00:55:35,570 --> 00:55:36,850
Oh, no no I would never do that.

567
00:55:37,060 --> 00:55:46,010
On the contrary! As soon as he is gone I shall open
the box and all of it's content shall be mine!

568
00:55:55,090 --> 00:55:57,650
I'll better stay here then..

569
00:55:59,810 --> 00:56:02,550
No, I'm not gonna open it - I just said
I'm not gonna open it, yeah?

570
00:56:03,030 --> 00:56:06,870
-What? You just said you were!
-Yeah in my mind, in my head!

571
00:56:07,600 --> 00:56:10,090
In my internal monologue.

572
00:56:10,170 --> 00:56:11,960
-Yeah?
-I could hear it though.

573
00:56:12,530 --> 00:56:16,050
-Yeah, it's technique - it's theatrical technique!
-A technique? You had a red light on your face!

574
00:56:17,300 --> 00:56:19,930
If anything, it was drawing attention
to what you were saying.

575
00:56:20,070 --> 00:56:22,090
-Alright!
-It's rubbish!

576
00:56:23,980 --> 00:56:26,100
Oh look, there's a sale on at Topshop!

577
00:56:31,640 --> 00:56:34,070
There isn't a sale on at Topshop at all.

578
00:56:36,430 --> 00:56:38,890
There is a sale on at Topshop,
there's a sale on at Topshop!

579
00:57:02,790 --> 00:57:05,360
Oh.. bit of disappointment..

580
00:57:06,800 --> 00:57:12,040
Heyho.. I'm gonna nip down the basement,
do a bit of a stock check..

581
00:58:23,470 --> 00:58:28,010
~ Trapped in a box by a cockney nutjob,
have a cuppa tea, have a cuppa tea ~

582
00:58:28,430 --> 00:58:32,840
~ I'm the hitcher, let me put you in the picture
creeping in your room in the dead of night ~

583
00:58:33,040 --> 00:58:35,560
~ with me solo polo vision
-That's right! ~

584
00:58:35,590 --> 00:58:40,220
~ Im a cockney geezer, watch me bleed ya
I knew the Ripper when he was just a nipper ~

585
00:58:40,270 --> 00:58:45,000
~ I taught him how to slice, I cut him up a treat
-Pound your banana -Two pound your pear ~

586
00:58:45,310 --> 00:58:49,690
~ -Pound your banana. -Two pound your pear
-Pound your banana. -Two pound your pear ~

587
00:58:50,080 --> 00:58:52,270
~ -Fourteen shillings for your melons
-Oh yeah! ~

588
00:58:52,320 --> 00:58:56,590
~ We're the Piper twins, Jim and Jackie Piper
We cut through the night like a windscreen ~

589
00:58:56,600 --> 00:59:00,700
~ wiping you away like rain drops
don't mess with the boys.. ~

590
00:59:00,830 --> 00:59:02,130
~ Shut your noise! ~

591
00:59:02,230 --> 00:59:06,820
~ Coming in stong like a freak show nightmare
dancing skeletons, white, blue and yellow ones ~

592
00:59:06,960 --> 00:59:08,740
~ Moving through the shadows
with the speed of a cat ~

593
00:59:09,040 --> 00:59:11,450
~ -And if you cross us we'll cut ya.
-And you ain't gona like that! ~

594
00:59:11,630 --> 00:59:16,300
~ I'm bad juju, I use voodoo if I choose to
I harness the power of evil to abuse you ~

595
00:59:16,440 --> 00:59:19,740
~ With power, a polo, an evil magnet
we're sucking up your soul ~

596
00:59:19,850 --> 00:59:22,970
~ And you ain't gonna like that! ~

597
00:59:33,070 --> 00:59:36,520
- Here you are boys, take that, off you go..
-Alright boss.

598
00:59:36,740 --> 00:59:39,280
-..get around Brixton and create havoc.
-Alright boss.

599
00:59:39,670 --> 00:59:42,720
I'm a cockney, I'm a cockney,
I'm a cockney..

600
00:59:43,290 --> 00:59:45,270
We all are, you nonce!

601
00:59:46,060 --> 00:59:48,470
Allright Brixton, how are you?

602
00:59:50,670 --> 00:59:52,830
You're alright you slags!

603
00:59:53,460 --> 00:59:58,100
Yeah! Ooh it feels good to be out of the box,
oooh it feels good.

604
00:59:58,110 --> 01:00:03,900
Two hundred years I've been trapped inside this here box,
two hundred years Brixton!

605
01:00:04,310 --> 01:00:06,740
For crimes against humanity!

606
01:00:07,410 --> 01:00:11,050
That's right - I've raped a dolphin!

607
01:00:13,540 --> 01:00:17,070
Well technically speakin' it was a porpoise.

608
01:00:17,240 --> 01:00:20,370
But one blow-hole's the same as the next to me!

609
01:00:22,700 --> 01:00:28,880
Lot of people are goin': Ooh the whale, ooh save the
whale, the marine wildlife, they're all intelligent,

610
01:00:28,890 --> 01:00:32,790
don't hurt them. I'll fucking save them!
Bring'em over here!

611
01:00:33,080 --> 01:00:38,090
That whale what they found in the Thames?
That was me what took him there in a lorry!

612
01:00:38,140 --> 01:00:41,400
Get in the back we're all going out for
a picnic!

613
01:00:42,360 --> 01:00:46,760
He was in there going: �Oh where are we going,
the Indian Ocean?�

614
01:00:47,310 --> 01:00:51,110
Yeah something like that, you heard of Lambeth
Bridge, you slag?

615
01:00:51,150 --> 01:00:59,470
Get in there! Get in there with the Zinger burgers!
Get in there with the johnnies! I'll reverse drown your arse!

616
01:00:59,760 --> 01:01:06,060
I'm evil Brixton! I'm... I'm a nob!

617
01:01:11,290 --> 01:01:17,000
I spent all last week driving contaminated
swans to Fife.

618
01:01:21,640 --> 01:01:26,150
Pullin'em out of back of the van, breakin' their
necks, throwing them on the floor,

619
01:01:26,260 --> 01:01:30,830
leaving a sachet of Lemsip and creepin' off
into the night.

620
01:01:35,350 --> 01:01:41,010
I'm EVIL! I once kicked a racoon's face
right off its body!

621
01:01:42,350 --> 01:01:46,520
What its face was doin' on its body
I have no fuckin' idea.

622
01:01:47,010 --> 01:01:52,550
Faces should be covering heads! You're a freak of nature!
I told him I was doin' him a favour!

623
01:01:52,620 --> 01:01:59,180
Bang! Kicked it right off! It flew through the air like
a pancake and landed on Jesus's face.

624
01:02:00,670 --> 01:02:03,940
I didn't mean it to, but it was a cheeky bonus!

625
01:02:10,180 --> 01:02:12,480
A very cheeky bonus..

626
01:02:12,460 --> 01:02:17,620
Anyway, you'll have to excuse me, I've been in
that box two hundred years,  I need a sprinkle.

627
01:02:19,040 --> 01:02:25,090
There's no toilets in there, excuse me ladies and getlemen,
while I piss like a powerful mule.

628
01:02:26,410 --> 01:02:31,400
Ooooh! Ooooh yeaaah!

629
01:02:32,070 --> 01:02:35,420
Comin' out of me like a yellow cable!

630
01:02:36,070 --> 01:02:39,160
Oh I have had a Berocca!

631
01:02:42,110 --> 01:02:46,420
Oh yeah, oh oh fuck yeah, oh it's good,
oh it feels good,

632
01:02:46,550 --> 01:02:54,330
oh oh fuckin feels good, take that you slag! You're too far away,
the venue's too big, I'm comin' in, fuck you!

633
01:02:55,440 --> 01:03:00,450
Let's have a slash orgy come on, drink down
my fuckin' cockney urine!

634
01:03:02,100 --> 01:03:07,660
Boosh fans, you BBC3 weirdos!
Drink it, drink it then!

635
01:03:08,350 --> 01:03:12,080
You sir, open your mouth! Taste the
cockney goodness!

636
01:03:13,650 --> 01:03:16,310
It's got Berocca in it, you'll be alright!

637
01:03:16,680 --> 01:03:25,060
Come on! Fuckin' 'ell, how light it is in 'ere? Are you alright?
Little self-conscious, bit of piss make you feel good!

638
01:03:29,810 --> 01:03:36,550
How am I gonna get back on stage? I don't like stairs -
you give me a bunk-up, come over here. Come on.

639
01:03:37,890 --> 01:03:42,240
You've had a shocker all night, ain't you pal? You
remember bunk-ups, when we were kids,

640
01:03:42,900 --> 01:03:47,120
go on, bend down, nice and low get like that.
Yeaaaah!

641
01:03:47,820 --> 01:03:49,510
I'm only joking, come on.

642
01:03:51,670 --> 01:03:55,630
Ooh there you go pal, thank you.
Thanks a lot, cheers.

643
01:04:03,340 --> 01:04:08,760
Disposable penis - 3.99 Costcutter!

644
01:04:21,340 --> 01:04:23,060
Can I help you?

645
01:04:23,210 --> 01:04:26,740
No thanks, squire I'm just browsing. Who are you?

646
01:04:27,590 --> 01:04:29,640
I'm Naboo, that's who.

647
01:04:36,560 --> 01:04:37,600
Who are you?

648
01:04:39,520 --> 01:04:42,450
They call me the Hitcher!

649
01:04:49,840 --> 01:04:53,330
-Is that your theme tune?
-No, it fuckin' ain't.

650
01:05:03,110 --> 01:05:07,260
Oi soundman, what the fuck was that supposed to be?

651
01:05:08,070 --> 01:05:16,460
I asked for track twelve didn't I, �Ominous chords, in brackets,
He's pure evil, he kicked a racoon's face off onto Jesus's face�.

652
01:05:16,950 --> 01:05:19,860
What the fuck was that supposed to be,
the holiday show?

653
01:05:21,560 --> 01:05:26,060
Don't make me come down there boy
and put a dolphin suit on you!

654
01:05:29,560 --> 01:05:31,630
What are you doing in my Nabootique?

655
01:05:34,820 --> 01:05:36,390
In your what, pal?

656
01:05:37,770 --> 01:05:40,120
In my Nabootique.

657
01:05:41,360 --> 01:05:47,040
I'll tell you what I'm doing in your Nabootique!
I'm doing this!

658
01:05:51,600 --> 01:05:54,070
Aaah shit!

659
01:05:55,770 --> 01:06:03,380
Yeah, yeaah boo it up! Boo it up you
nonces! Boo it up!

660
01:06:03,860 --> 01:06:07,940
Every boo goes to making my erection
that little bit stronger!

661
01:06:09,420 --> 01:06:13,850
Don't boo after the concept! Fucking weirdo!

662
01:06:15,730 --> 01:06:20,080
Alright then, let's see what Ali-baba's got back
here in the way of money!

663
01:06:21,240 --> 01:06:24,030
Ooh enormous face!

664
01:06:27,600 --> 01:06:36,350
700 000 �! What a result! Hahaha take care Aladdin,
I'm off to Hoxton to get some pie and mash.

665
01:06:36,410 --> 01:06:40,980
I'm a cockney, I'm a cockney - oh, I can't get
off this way, fuck!

666
01:07:02,990 --> 01:07:12,090
Hello everyone! I'm so happy to be here.
I'm the Moon, I'm so happy.

667
01:07:13,620 --> 01:07:20,440
In the sixties, a man come in and he
put a flag in my belly.

668
01:07:21,400 --> 01:07:34,660
And he driving around in the buggy.. and did jump around. One
small step for mankind and one big step for the Moon.

669
01:07:36,800 --> 01:07:43,070
He not been back since. Should I have made
him a cuppa tea?

670
01:07:45,000 --> 01:07:51,940
When did he only come once? Has he seen all
he needed to?

671
01:08:31,090 --> 01:08:35,950
I've got a bad feeling about this..
Naboo?

672
01:08:36,190 --> 01:08:41,430
This is it Bollo. I'm close to the end..
..fading away...

673
01:08:42,620 --> 01:08:49,370
Do not fear my friend. Maybe I will see you.
In the next life.

674
01:08:50,390 --> 01:08:53,830
I doubt it. I'm going to heaven.

675
01:08:56,800 --> 01:08:59,180
Do animals not go to heaven?

676
01:08:59,660 --> 01:09:02,870
Well yeah, but you killed that boy.

677
01:09:09,400 --> 01:09:12,550
Oh yeah, I forgot about that.

678
01:09:52,580 --> 01:09:54,610
What are you doing?

679
01:09:55,770 --> 01:09:59,570
-Sorry I thought you were gone.
-Just havin' a powernap.

680
01:10:01,930 --> 01:10:04,140
Now! It's comin'..

681
01:10:04,940 --> 01:10:06,700
No, that's not it..

682
01:10:06,970 --> 01:10:28,150
Yep. No. Yep. No. Yep. No.
Yep. No. Yep. No.....

683
01:10:37,290 --> 01:10:42,320
~ Naboolio, why did you have to go? ~

684
01:10:43,630 --> 01:10:49,080
~ Naboolio, we really loved you so! ~

685
01:10:49,630 --> 01:10:55,710
~ I heard you sing, you had a velvet voice.
The way you danced, I really had no choice. ~

686
01:10:55,950 --> 01:11:00,930
~ Naboolio, why did you leave us so? ~

687
01:11:02,050 --> 01:11:07,580
~ Naboolio, why did you have to go? ~

688
01:11:08,490 --> 01:11:14,400
~ -Boolio, Boolio, why did you have to go, leave me solo?
-Give it up now, for Naboolio. ~

689
01:11:14,570 --> 01:11:20,730
~ -Boolio, Boolio, why did you have to go, leave me solo.
-Give it up now for Naboolio. ~

690
01:11:20,800 --> 01:11:26,710
~ Sucking on my titties, like you loving me, wanting me,
squeezing me, baby, come on - you know you want it. ~

691
01:11:27,000 --> 01:11:32,860
~ Sucking on my titties, like you loving me, hun. Squeezing me,
teasing me. Baby, yeah, baby come on, uh! ~

692
01:11:33,040 --> 01:11:35,970
~ Sucking on my titties, like you... ~

693
01:11:45,190 --> 01:11:47,110
What are you doing?!

694
01:11:48,120 --> 01:11:52,140
Sorry, I got a bit carried away...

695
01:11:54,380 --> 01:11:56,520
Peter?

696
01:11:59,800 --> 01:12:02,110
Naboo is dead!

697
01:12:04,580 --> 01:12:08,230
But there is a way, to bring a shaman back to live.

698
01:12:09,410 --> 01:12:14,850
You must retrieve the sacred Ruby of Kukundu.

699
01:12:15,310 --> 01:12:20,450
It is to be found deep in the Arctic tundra...

700
01:12:20,750 --> 01:12:24,230
-Let's go!
-..or Spain.

701
01:12:27,970 --> 01:12:34,110
-Arctic tundra or Spain?
-Yeah, I can't remember which one it is, sorry.

702
01:12:35,180 --> 01:12:41,120
Yeah, they're quite far apart Bollo, you know?
You could be little bit more specific.

703
01:12:46,110 --> 01:12:48,400
No.

704
01:12:48,650 --> 01:12:54,190
Sucking on my titties, like you loving me, wanting me,
squeezing me. Baby, yeah, uh - come on!

705
01:13:02,240 --> 01:13:05,380
Well there you have it - that's the end of the first half,
things are hotting up.

706
01:13:05,890 --> 01:13:09,720
-Naboo's dead.
-Yep, bit of a shocker.

707
01:13:10,720 --> 01:13:13,570
Bollo's gone insane with greif.

708
01:13:13,650 --> 01:13:18,100
So we're left to retrieve the Ruby of Kukundu.
Hm.. the second half.

709
01:13:18,450 --> 01:13:21,810
Will we find it? Won't we? Will we? Won't we?
Will we? Won't we?

710
01:13:21,930 --> 01:13:24,270
We will. But uh...

711
01:13:25,180 --> 01:13:27,030
But will we?

712
01:13:27,640 --> 01:13:31,760
We will. Will we find it? We will find it.

713
01:13:32,270 --> 01:13:36,940
So - I suggest I'll go to Spain, you know, you'll go
to the Arctic and we'll see how we do, yeah?

714
01:13:37,140 --> 01:13:39,610
Yeah? Maybe I'll go to Spain though eh?

715
01:13:40,370 --> 01:13:46,280
No no I'll go to Spain, because I'm Spanish. So..
you should go to the Arctic and I'll..

716
01:13:46,790 --> 01:13:49,530
-As if you're Spanish.
-..I'll do the Spanish leg.

717
01:13:49,790 --> 01:13:52,230
-Well, I'm a Spaniard - you know, I'm deeply Spanish.
-What?

718
01:13:52,300 --> 01:13:53,840
-Oh yeah yeah yeah.
-Get lost!

719
01:13:53,920 --> 01:13:57,800
- I'm well Spanish.
-Well Spanish? What are you a chav? I'm well Spanish, mate.

720
01:13:58,630 --> 01:14:01,630
Yeah? I'm El Chaviola.

721
01:14:02,920 --> 01:14:04,700
Sun-dried Chaviola.

722
01:14:05,550 --> 01:14:08,660
Come on, but - come on, you're not Spanish!
You're clearly..

723
01:14:08,730 --> 01:14:10,920
-I am!
-You're not! You're clearly from Leeds.

724
01:14:12,460 --> 01:14:15,480
Ha ha ha? Nothing.

725
01:14:16,740 --> 01:14:18,920
Great help that..

726
01:14:19,880 --> 01:14:21,290
-Listen..
-Then leave.

727
01:14:22,370 --> 01:14:24,590
Are you possessed?

728
01:14:26,230 --> 01:14:27,880
By a twat?

729
01:14:33,040 --> 01:14:35,270
-Listen - you're not Spanish.
-I am.

730
01:14:35,430 --> 01:14:42,120
You're not Spanish - you're clearly from Leeds.
I've seen the way you talk to women.

731
01:14:42,200 --> 01:14:45,490
Huh, you dirty cow, get in my wheelbarrow, cm'on!

732
01:14:47,040 --> 01:14:50,550
-Listen... I was..don't talk about that, alright?
-It was brilliant though!

733
01:14:50,560 --> 01:14:54,650
Huh, you cheeky vixens, there's room for all
of ya' in Barratt's barrow, cm'on!

734
01:14:55,980 --> 01:14:57,290
I was drunk..

735
01:14:57,890 --> 01:15:00,440
I know, so was I - I was in the wheelbarrow.

736
01:15:02,140 --> 01:15:07,130
Alright, well we're gonna have decide who goes where, one way
or the other, alright? I suggest we toss a coin.

737
01:15:07,180 --> 01:15:10,400
-Have any coins about your person?
-I haven't got any pockets.

738
01:15:12,090 --> 01:15:14,010
You leave that to me.

739
01:15:39,570 --> 01:15:42,210
-Okay, heads or tails?
-Aaa.. tails!

740
01:15:43,630 --> 01:15:45,810
-Oh, what a cunt!
-Yeah!

741
01:15:50,100 --> 01:15:55,440
It was a mime coin, he could have said
anything. What a spazz.

742
01:15:56,390 --> 01:16:01,080
That wasn't very PC (Politically Correct), was it?
You all laughed, we're in it together.

743
01:16:01,970 --> 01:16:08,960
See you in hell. So basically that is the end of the first half,
go and have a drink, have a wee-wee and..

744
01:16:18,760 --> 01:16:20,380
Aaaa fuck!

745
01:16:25,660 --> 01:16:27,220
Watch out, watch out!

746
01:16:39,850 --> 01:16:41,670
No, get away!

747
01:17:13,340 --> 01:17:24,510
The only problem with be.. with when you are the Moon - like me - is,
you have such a chalky white face, it makes your teeth look yellow.

748
01:17:26,000 --> 01:17:36,280
And I went to the dentist and he said: Ooh your teeth are yellow!
I said: Noo! Only when you compare them to my chalky white face.

749
01:17:36,330 --> 01:17:41,070
If I had skin - like yours - they would not look yellow!

750
01:17:43,410 --> 01:17:54,510
I had fifteen fillings and he said: That will be �500 .
And I said: I don't pay for nothing! I'm the Moon!

751
01:17:54,980 --> 01:18:00,790
And I rised out of the chair and I went off back
up and he couldn't stop me.

752
01:18:01,750 --> 01:18:07,900
Every now and then I recieve letter 'You still owe that money!'
I say I might pay it, I might not.

753
01:18:08,410 --> 01:18:12,370
I'm the Moon, I don't pay fucking dental fees!

754
01:19:07,320 --> 01:19:09,290
Don't patronize me.

755
01:19:12,340 --> 01:19:16,050
Howard Moon's journal - day thirty-seven.

756
01:19:16,580 --> 01:19:19,070
Still no sign of the Ruby of Kukundu.

757
01:19:20,600 --> 01:19:28,280
The Arctic is a very lonely place, so lonely here..
..wind my only friend.

758
01:19:29,060 --> 01:19:31,320
I hate you!

759
01:19:36,990 --> 01:19:38,860
Shut up wind!

760
01:19:40,660 --> 01:19:45,830
The Arctic is a very strange environment -
the days are very short here.

761
01:19:49,570 --> 01:19:52,110
Luckily the nights are even shorter.

762
01:19:53,330 --> 01:19:55,370
Ha, where are you from?

763
01:20:01,730 --> 01:20:04,160
Day thirty-eight.

764
01:20:05,540 --> 01:20:11,160
A strange figure approaches from the horizon.
Could this be my salvation?

765
01:20:24,400 --> 01:20:27,570
Look deep into the parka!

766
01:20:30,700 --> 01:20:32,190
What?

767
01:20:34,010 --> 01:20:37,610
Look deep into the parka!

768
01:20:37,990 --> 01:20:39,540
Why?

769
01:20:40,640 --> 01:20:47,010
There are many things in here. Things you
could never dream of!

770
01:20:47,880 --> 01:20:49,400
Like what?

771
01:20:49,850 --> 01:20:52,050
Omelettes..?

772
01:20:55,590 --> 01:20:57,380
I've dreamt of omelettes.

773
01:20:58,150 --> 01:21:02,810
And I dream of omeletts quite a lot actually.
They call me The Omelette-dreamer.

774
01:21:04,610 --> 01:21:11,530
Oh, hm.. okay then.. um.. unicorns? With AIDS?

775
01:21:18,110 --> 01:21:20,600
-Have you dreamt of those?
-No.

776
01:21:21,280 --> 01:21:22,810
Hahaa!

777
01:21:27,390 --> 01:21:30,480
Look deep into the parka, my friend.

778
01:21:30,530 --> 01:21:36,780
Delve deep into the parka, for whatever you
dream of will become yours.

779
01:21:43,660 --> 01:21:49,980
Aaaah not that you idiot! That's my fucking eye!
What are you doin'?!

780
01:21:50,040 --> 01:21:52,630
-Sorry..
-Ooh anything but that!

781
01:21:53,120 --> 01:21:55,680
-Oooh Christ!
-I'm really sorry.

782
01:21:55,760 --> 01:21:58,700
Ooh, don't just put it in loose!

783
01:22:01,860 --> 01:22:05,910
Look at me! I'm like.. Swingball.

784
01:22:18,210 --> 01:22:21,530
-Enough! Enough Swingball!
-Sorry.

785
01:22:23,000 --> 01:22:25,600
Sorry - there you go, I'll just..
it's in your pocket, look.

786
01:22:27,140 --> 01:22:29,400
Oh that's where that pen went.

787
01:22:33,860 --> 01:22:40,810
Now, look deep into the parka the second time.
The good stuff's laid out at the front.

788
01:22:41,140 --> 01:22:43,380
Delve in there.

789
01:22:45,060 --> 01:22:46,680
Other side.

790
01:22:52,070 --> 01:22:55,440
-What's this?
-Telegram.

791
01:22:55,960 --> 01:23:01,990
Oh, thanks. Well, don't go! I'm just gonna put the kettle on.
Stick around and have a cuppa tea and a chat..

792
01:23:02,570 --> 01:23:04,540
No thanks.

793
01:23:04,820 --> 01:23:06,370
Why? Where are you going?

794
01:23:07,330 --> 01:23:09,210
Opticians.

795
01:23:17,760 --> 01:23:24,010
Well, if my hunch is correct, this telegram should lead
me directly to the Ruby of Kukundu.

796
01:23:24,370 --> 01:23:29,110
Dear Howard, thank you for the picture of
your cock and balls..

797
01:23:35,620 --> 01:23:37,340
I never sent that!

798
01:23:40,930 --> 01:23:49,650
Howard Moon's journal - day thirty-eight. Must I end
my life in this wilderness of ice and snow, oh woe..

799
01:23:49,800 --> 01:23:56,120
~ All the things I'll never be
All the things I'll never see ~

800
01:23:56,250 --> 01:24:02,220
~ All there is that's left for me
Is here in this eternity ~

801
01:24:02,600 --> 01:24:15,270
~ Of isolation, isolation, isolation,
isolation. ~

802
01:24:15,790 --> 01:24:22,480
~ The cavalcade, the jamboree
Of life I thought was meant for me ~

803
01:24:22,610 --> 01:24:28,420
~ I never dreamed that it would be
Replaced by this eternity ~

804
01:24:28,720 --> 01:24:34,950
~ Of isolation, isolation. ~

805
01:24:35,350 --> 01:24:41,360
~ All the things I'll never be
All the things I'll never see ~

806
01:24:41,720 --> 01:24:44,650
~ All there is that's left for me ~

807
01:24:44,980 --> 01:24:55,690
~ Is here in this eternity of isolation,
isolation! ~

808
01:25:12,090 --> 01:25:16,680
Reasonably priced in the foyer.

809
01:25:18,940 --> 01:25:22,210
Yes, meanwhile in Spain.

810
01:25:34,810 --> 01:25:39,410
Hey, you guys, it's brilliant! I'm lovin'
it here in Spain!

811
01:25:39,760 --> 01:25:42,800
Hey, have any of you heard of The Ruby of Kukundu?

812
01:26:21,350 --> 01:26:23,770
Sorry about that..

813
01:26:31,880 --> 01:26:34,120
You did a bad thing!

814
01:26:34,540 --> 01:26:38,120
You're fuckin' dead after the show!

815
01:26:39,400 --> 01:26:42,720
At least I am protected by the script.

816
01:26:43,780 --> 01:26:49,980
Oh yeah, the irony - the man protected by something
he's never been in contact with.

817
01:26:50,860 --> 01:26:54,950
Yeah, it's good, isn't it?

818
01:26:56,590 --> 01:26:58,570
What are you laughing at?

819
01:26:58,590 --> 01:26:59,940
Listen...

820
01:27:01,250 --> 01:27:04,940
It's the first time he has laughed from
this whole tour!

821
01:27:05,920 --> 01:27:08,250
Don't laugh! Listen!

822
01:27:08,900 --> 01:27:14,280
I need to speak with you alone. Solid, Gas get
out of here, right now!

823
01:27:15,310 --> 01:27:17,180
Bring your shitty quitar with you.

824
01:27:18,690 --> 01:27:20,440
I have some business to do.

825
01:27:22,860 --> 01:27:27,060
-You did a very bad thing!
-I did a bad thing?!

826
01:27:27,090 --> 01:27:28,050
Yes!

827
01:27:28,760 --> 01:27:30,780
You nearly broke my nose!

828
01:27:32,520 --> 01:27:37,680
I ate a bowl of yeast before the show, so..
Sorry about that.

829
01:27:40,640 --> 01:27:45,250
It's something I do, I'm on a.. Atkins diet..

830
01:27:47,650 --> 01:27:49,250
Listen - ...

831
01:27:51,900 --> 01:27:54,770
-You mentioned The Ruby of Kukundu.
-Yeah, so what?

832
01:27:55,010 --> 01:28:00,750
Many men have mentioned this ruby and
many men have been dyed!

833
01:28:01,760 --> 01:28:04,170
Oh really? What colour?

834
01:28:06,440 --> 01:28:11,570
I am slightly retarded. I'm on the fence either way.

835
01:28:12,390 --> 01:28:15,000
What - the retarded fence?

836
01:28:15,050 --> 01:28:16,350
Yeah, you know..

837
01:28:16,650 --> 01:28:19,760
-Aaah what are you doin'?
-I know a man..

838
01:28:19,780 --> 01:28:22,160
-I know a...
-Get out of my hat-space!

839
01:28:22,520 --> 01:28:25,550
-I know, these are fuckin' big hats!
-What's wrong with you?

840
01:28:26,070 --> 01:28:28,200
It's like doing a scene with a chimp!

841
01:28:32,150 --> 01:28:35,550
-It's just a figure of speech, Bollo.
-Ah, okay.

842
01:28:36,260 --> 01:28:37,370
Adios.

843
01:28:39,260 --> 01:28:40,930
-I know of a guy over there..
-Aaah..

844
01:28:40,970 --> 01:28:44,280
-Look, talk to me and then we'll face out together.
-Okay.

845
01:28:44,420 --> 01:28:47,990
I know of a guy..
..over there.

846
01:28:49,110 --> 01:28:51,490
Who can tell you, where the Ruby is.

847
01:28:51,520 --> 01:28:54,200
He lives in the Forest of Doom.

848
01:28:55,240 --> 01:28:57,360
The Foyer of Doom?

849
01:28:57,550 --> 01:29:01,730
Yes. Just past the Mountain of Merchandise.

850
01:29:02,820 --> 01:29:04,620
-He can tell you where the Ruby is.
-Cool.

851
01:29:04,640 --> 01:29:08,570
Okay, excellent and what's he gonna do?
Piss on my face?

852
01:29:09,780 --> 01:29:14,600
Don't be silly - I am not playing that character.

853
01:29:17,920 --> 01:29:20,930
-Okay, bye.
-Okay, good luck my friend.

854
01:29:20,960 --> 01:29:23,420
-Yeah, seeya.
-Goodbye.

855
01:29:24,280 --> 01:29:25,880
Get off.

856
01:29:26,530 --> 01:29:28,640
-But do not tell anyone.
-What?

857
01:29:28,710 --> 01:29:31,710
-Do not tell anyone I told you about this.
-Okay.

858
01:29:31,920 --> 01:29:34,980
Or surely I will be killed by murder.

859
01:29:36,780 --> 01:29:38,990
-Okay. -Okay, goodbye.
-Okay seeya.

860
01:29:41,080 --> 01:29:44,310
So this wiseman, yeah? He's over by the Forest of Doom?

861
01:29:44,850 --> 01:29:46,680
Aaa you silly bitch!

862
01:29:47,810 --> 01:29:49,110
I forgot:)

863
01:29:49,410 --> 01:29:55,410
And so Vince Noir set off on his terrifying journey
towards the Forest of Doom.

864
01:29:56,480 --> 01:30:00,550
Utilizing basic mime technique. He walked.

865
01:30:01,590 --> 01:30:04,640
And then he moonwalked for a bit.

866
01:30:08,490 --> 01:30:11,540
I've got the wrong shoes on, shut up!

867
01:30:12,830 --> 01:30:14,720
Yes, that was pretty bad.

868
01:30:16,210 --> 01:30:19,320
Rubber on rubber - it was never gonna work.

869
01:30:19,440 --> 01:30:22,600
Don't try and body-pop your way out of it.

870
01:30:24,260 --> 01:30:32,240
Onwards he walked mile after mile, mile after terrifying
mile towards the Forest of Doom.

871
01:30:32,260 --> 01:30:37,970
Mile after mile... you're going the wrong way.
The sign.. yes.

872
01:30:38,000 --> 01:30:40,990
You've got his sign you prick!

873
01:30:41,010 --> 01:30:47,610
Onwards, ever onwards, he encountered
a terrifying hurricane.

874
01:30:52,880 --> 01:30:54,320
Oh dear..

875
01:31:00,630 --> 01:31:04,430
The hurricane messed up Vince's neatly
arranged coiffure.

876
01:31:04,480 --> 01:31:05,910
-I don't think it did.
-Yes, it did.

877
01:31:05,930 --> 01:31:07,980
It didn't! It's weird, but it didn't.
Get off me!

878
01:31:08,010 --> 01:31:09,960
He told me to do it.

879
01:31:13,450 --> 01:31:15,920
I am the narrator - he does my bidding.

880
01:31:16,890 --> 01:31:30,340
After dealing with the hurricane/cagoule he carried on and
eventually arrived at the fabled Forest of Doom!

881
01:31:33,360 --> 01:31:34,900
Theatre..

882
01:32:13,440 --> 01:32:15,060
Who are you?

883
01:32:15,710 --> 01:32:17,940
I go by many names.

884
01:32:30,920 --> 01:32:33,020
Well what are they then?

885
01:32:33,390 --> 01:32:37,810
I'm getting around to that. I'm just leaving
a mystical pause.

886
01:32:39,030 --> 01:32:47,650
Some call me.. Mystery Man.
Others know me as the Shadow Dweller.

887
01:32:48,360 --> 01:32:51,410
Some call me Secret Peter.

888
01:32:53,010 --> 01:32:58,890
Where is he hiding? In a shoe, in a bush, in a rock,
in a side cupboard, in a lane?

889
01:33:00,700 --> 01:33:03,210
No! He's inside yourself.

890
01:33:04,010 --> 01:33:16,120
Some call me Miraculous Mark - diviner of mysteries.
Others call me Heeeeeeeeeeeeey..

891
01:33:16,190 --> 01:33:18,030
..Smith.

892
01:33:24,370 --> 01:33:32,960
Some call me Halaaaooooooo - .

893
01:33:37,440 --> 01:33:39,360
[hits drum] that's my surname.

894
01:33:39,370 --> 01:33:43,160
Others know me as Domino.

895
01:33:46,510 --> 01:33:48,670
The Bounty hunter.

896
01:33:49,130 --> 01:33:54,730
Some call me Chilli Chicken Ramen.
Others know me as Clive.

897
01:33:56,620 --> 01:34:02,920
I'm sometimes called Peppercorn..
..by the Dutch.

898
01:34:07,130 --> 01:34:14,790
You can step in at any point here, you know? Don't have to
leave me dangling like a tit in a breeze.

899
01:34:20,090 --> 01:34:22,250
Go on, do one more.

900
01:34:22,760 --> 01:34:26,110
Some call me Cillit Bang.

901
01:34:31,600 --> 01:34:33,120
I go by many names!

902
01:34:35,920 --> 01:34:38,770
But you may call me Rudy.

903
01:34:43,670 --> 01:34:47,570
You are searching for something here in the forest,
are you not little girl?

904
01:34:49,240 --> 01:34:51,450
Yeah, how do you know?

905
01:34:51,580 --> 01:34:54,560
-I know all things.
-Are you a witch?

906
01:34:58,150 --> 01:34:59,540
Yes, I am.

907
01:35:01,250 --> 01:35:05,160
Take a seat. I shall explain to you a thing
or two about the forest.

908
01:35:08,490 --> 01:35:10,650
There's no seats in the forest.

909
01:35:11,360 --> 01:35:14,830
Do not be afraid. I control the very forest
itself. Behold!

910
01:35:14,950 --> 01:35:23,160
Khalamaloooooo, khalamalamaloooooo,
khalamala-bring-a-chair, khalamalooooooh...

911
01:35:46,250 --> 01:35:48,770
Hm, the forest is a cheeky one tonight.

912
01:35:50,570 --> 01:35:52,570
The forest is a cunt tonight.

913
01:35:59,070 --> 01:36:03,820
Soo... Look, you're on mushrooms.

914
01:36:05,760 --> 01:36:09,000
Hey, where are thou from?

915
01:36:10,630 --> 01:36:12,960
You're looking pretty high yourself.

916
01:36:14,260 --> 01:36:17,450
I'm off my tits on dental cream.

917
01:36:19,530 --> 01:36:21,450
I don't know where I am.

918
01:36:22,290 --> 01:36:26,650
I appear to be in a psychedelic episode of Parkinson.

919
01:36:35,370 --> 01:36:41,860
So you've got a new book coming out, um...
No, tell me about it. It's about gardening, yeah?

920
01:36:42,140 --> 01:36:45,220
Never mind that Parky, what's happened
to your hair?

921
01:36:46,680 --> 01:36:48,630
I slept funny.

922
01:36:51,340 --> 01:36:55,500
You are searching for something here in the Forest
of Doom, are you not? What is it you seek?

923
01:36:56,070 --> 01:36:59,040
Basically I'm looking for the Ruby of Kukundu.

924
01:37:06,940 --> 01:37:08,850
The Ruby of Kukundu?

925
01:37:21,000 --> 01:37:23,240
Yeah, the Ruby of Kukundu.

926
01:37:32,690 --> 01:37:34,010
The Ruby of Kukundu?

927
01:37:35,020 --> 01:37:38,630
No! Okay, it was fun, but now it's over.

928
01:37:39,950 --> 01:37:46,590
Yes I know the whereabouts of the Ruby of Kukundu,
yay I know the whereabouts of the Ruby of Kuku.., yes I know.

929
01:37:48,120 --> 01:37:51,890
But I cannot just divulge the informations to whereabouts
of the Ruby like this.

930
01:37:52,170 --> 01:37:55,220
I need to know that you're a kind of heart and
worthy of the information.

931
01:37:55,310 --> 01:37:58,200
You must prove this to me by passing a test.

932
01:37:58,750 --> 01:38:00,430
Cool, what test?

933
01:38:01,210 --> 01:38:03,660
The cycling proficiency test.

934
01:38:09,630 --> 01:38:11,830
Know ye of this test?

935
01:38:11,910 --> 01:38:15,600
Yeah, I passed that ages ago, when I was at school.
It was easy.

936
01:38:21,680 --> 01:38:23,300
Ain't you something!

937
01:38:24,430 --> 01:38:27,060
Ain't you a little piece of something else.

938
01:38:27,930 --> 01:38:30,550
Ain't you a little stinking piece of something.

939
01:38:31,230 --> 01:38:36,570
Well then, if thou art such a cockian, perhaps another
test is in order for thou.

940
01:38:40,630 --> 01:38:44,130
-Yeah?
-Perhaps thou would be less cocky when faced..

941
01:38:44,330 --> 01:38:46,550
..with the Black Rider!

942
01:38:48,150 --> 01:38:54,650
The most dangerous gun-fighter in the forest,
who you must fight - tonight at midnight!

943
01:39:05,780 --> 01:39:08,150
Yeah, Rudy it's one o'clock.

944
01:39:10,460 --> 01:39:14,640
I'm not spending another eleven hours with you
and your speech impediment.

945
01:39:15,410 --> 01:39:17,700
See if I can hurry this along a little bit.

946
01:39:17,730 --> 01:39:19,240
Excuse me.

947
01:39:33,490 --> 01:39:35,580
It's my scat-phone.

948
01:39:40,390 --> 01:39:41,840
Hello, Black Riders.

949
01:39:41,890 --> 01:39:46,250
Hello, um.. I've ordered a Black Rider for midnight,
I might need something a little bit earlier.

950
01:39:46,320 --> 01:39:47,740
I just wondered if you had anything in the area.

951
01:39:48,060 --> 01:39:51,750
-Where are you mate?
-The Forest of Doom.

952
01:39:52,140 --> 01:39:54,880
-Where mate?
-Brixton.

953
01:39:57,180 --> 01:39:59,640
Alright, he should be with you in a few moments.

954
01:39:59,800 --> 01:40:05,210
-Okay, thanks, um.. I just wondered.. how much was that going to be?
- It's gonna be about twelve, thirteen quid mate.

955
01:40:05,890 --> 01:40:11,590
-Ouch.. Okay thanks a lot, you've been very kind, thank you.
-Fuck off.

956
01:40:13,380 --> 01:40:17,030
Prepare thyself! The Black Rider approaches.

957
01:41:51,140 --> 01:41:57,570
You have passed the test! And now it is time
for you to recieve the Ruby of Kukundu.

958
01:42:03,320 --> 01:42:08,990
Take the Ruby and do with it what you will,
pretty prince-girl.

959
01:42:12,060 --> 01:42:15,580
Yeah, Rudy - this is a Kinderegg.

960
01:42:16,640 --> 01:42:20,640
Kinderegg? What is Kinderegg?

961
01:42:21,360 --> 01:42:24,310
It's kind of a chocolatey treat with a toy inside.

962
01:42:25,560 --> 01:42:32,590
Oh.. I'm sorry I thought it was a Ruby, I can only
apologize and wish you luck with your quest.

963
01:42:36,950 --> 01:42:38,710
Shut your mouth.

964
01:42:39,780 --> 01:42:43,590
Or I shall fly at you like a bag of cocks!

965
01:42:50,610 --> 01:42:54,120
And you'll receive him like a satchel of vaginas!

966
01:42:59,910 --> 01:43:02,220
Tag team put downs.

967
01:43:05,560 --> 01:43:07,090
What is a Kinderegg?

968
01:43:09,880 --> 01:43:14,000
It's basically - it's like a chocolatey treat,
but you get like a toy inside, yeah?

969
01:43:14,090 --> 01:43:17,450
So they are amazing, sometimes you get to build
like a hovercraft, yeah?

970
01:43:18,200 --> 01:43:20,260
A hover - what is a hovercraft?

971
01:43:21,160 --> 01:43:28,880
I haven't got time to explain, other times you get like a porcelain
alligator playing golf - that's not quite as good, but they're pretty spot on.

972
01:43:29,640 --> 01:43:34,780
-Hm.. sounds intriguing.
-Yeah, you might as well have that, if you've never had one.

973
01:43:34,800 --> 01:43:36,550
-For me?
-Yeah! Take it.

974
01:43:36,700 --> 01:43:38,230
Thank you.

975
01:43:38,610 --> 01:43:43,110
No worries, take care Rudy, thanks for
your help, bye.

976
01:43:45,110 --> 01:43:46,380
Wait!

977
01:43:51,480 --> 01:43:53,910
You have passed the test.

978
01:43:55,490 --> 01:43:58,190
-What test?
-The Kinder-test.

979
01:43:59,390 --> 01:44:02,120
Most men would have eaten the Kinderegg.

980
01:44:04,710 --> 01:44:07,550
-Wolf it down quick as a bee.
-Yeah?

981
01:44:07,740 --> 01:44:12,780
But you - knowing I had never tasted its
chocolatey fruit - offered it to me.

982
01:44:14,100 --> 01:44:16,250
Because you are kind of heart.

983
01:44:16,550 --> 01:44:20,800
Thus I can tell you the whereabouts of the
Ruby of Kukundu.

984
01:44:21,040 --> 01:44:23,800
It is far far away my friend...

985
01:44:24,130 --> 01:44:28,950
Fa.. this way - far away - in the Arctic tundra.

986
01:44:30,050 --> 01:44:33,050
You're in the wrong place sunny Jim lad.

987
01:44:35,010 --> 01:44:41,530
Excellent I.. that's brilliant - I'll go there right now. Thanks Rudy,
I don't know what to say, you've been brilliant!

988
01:44:41,570 --> 01:44:45,830
Don't say anything, simply caress my balls.

989
01:44:48,040 --> 01:44:49,520
I'm not doin' that.

990
01:44:50,530 --> 01:44:52,330
You have passed the test!

991
01:44:55,020 --> 01:44:57,660
-What test?
-The ball-test.

992
01:45:00,060 --> 01:45:01,570
The ball-test?!

993
01:45:01,730 --> 01:45:04,830
-Yes, most men would have caressed my balls..
-Seeya..

994
01:45:04,940 --> 01:45:06,300
Bye bye.

995
01:45:20,670 --> 01:45:24,640
Sorry. Oh I did a burp.

996
01:45:24,820 --> 01:45:29,310
When the Moon burps, Jupiter looks on disgusted.

997
01:45:30,100 --> 01:45:37,070
I like Jupiter and I like Mars, but Pluto -
he don't talk to me.

998
01:45:37,810 --> 01:45:41,310
He pretends I'm not there. Hello Pluto..?

999
01:45:41,760 --> 01:45:44,750
Nothing, just carries on with what he's doing.

1000
01:45:46,300 --> 01:45:48,310
I don't know why he don't like me..

1001
01:45:49,630 --> 01:45:53,600
Saturn is crazy, he's fuckin' crazy.

1002
01:45:54,900 --> 01:45:59,420
He drinks all the time, he comes in he's all pissed.

1003
01:46:00,370 --> 01:46:05,660
And he's a good cook, but he's too drunk,
he sets fire to his fish fingers.

1004
01:46:06,670 --> 01:46:12,530
One time I went out with him and he was funny.

1005
01:46:40,300 --> 01:46:43,680
This dog's not doing as much work as this one.

1006
01:46:44,570 --> 01:46:45,950
What are you doin'?

1007
01:46:46,620 --> 01:46:50,330
This must be Howard's tent. He's left me a
little note. Let's have a look.

1008
01:46:50,600 --> 01:46:52,560
-I, Howard Moon..
-I haven't opened it yet!

1009
01:46:52,970 --> 01:46:56,410
..have decided to head to North in my quest
to find the Ruby of Kukundu..

1010
01:46:56,470 --> 01:47:00,170
-There's nothing on this.
-If you find this note, then heed my advice.

1011
01:47:00,780 --> 01:47:07,730
The Artcic is a dangerous place, there are strange
creatures here. I have heard their calls in the night.

1012
01:47:08,690 --> 01:47:15,670
So be on your guard and what ever you do,
never fall asleep.

1013
01:49:02,570 --> 01:49:04,270
Aaah fuck!

1014
01:49:06,810 --> 01:49:10,520
I thought we were getting on quite well,
what about a phone number?

1015
01:49:10,840 --> 01:49:12,390
Do some work.

1016
01:49:58,780 --> 01:50:01,130
Pretty fuckin' good our sound man!

1017
01:50:08,780 --> 01:50:11,510
Better not fall asleep this time.

1018
01:50:18,820 --> 01:50:20,590
I'll come on again.

1019
01:50:32,540 --> 01:50:34,480
Vince? Vince? Vince!

1020
01:50:34,560 --> 01:50:38,650
Oh, Yetti, I knew you'd return. Oh sorry I thought
you were someone else.

1021
01:50:39,040 --> 01:50:41,080
Hey Howard, howyerdoin'? Are you llright?

1022
01:50:41,490 --> 01:50:43,950
-Yeah, I'm good, thanks.
-Yeah? Come on, let's get out of here.

1023
01:50:43,960 --> 01:50:45,550
-No, I'm not leaving this place.
-Hm..?

1024
01:50:46,200 --> 01:50:48,000
-I'll never leave this place Vince.
-What do you mean?

1025
01:50:48,080 --> 01:50:54,000
I'm on a mission, I shall never leave this place
until I have found the Ruby of Kukundu.

1026
01:50:54,580 --> 01:50:58,040
Never would I leave this sacred place
until I have found that Ruby!

1027
01:50:58,500 --> 01:51:00,670
-Yeah - is that it?

1028
01:51:02,460 --> 01:51:03,570
Yep.

1029
01:51:05,060 --> 01:51:06,800
-Shall we go then?
-Yeah, alright.

1030
01:51:06,820 --> 01:51:07,910
Okay.

1031
01:51:21,460 --> 01:51:31,330
And so Vince Noir - he went to Topshop and uh..
Howard he took the Ruby and he gave it to Bollo.

1032
01:51:33,140 --> 01:51:40,680
I think that's what was happening I don't know,
I weren't watching. I was havin' a wank.

1033
01:51:53,110 --> 01:52:02,780
And now it is time - shut up - to bring
a shaman back to life.

1034
01:52:16,370 --> 01:52:23,320
Not so fast, monkeyman! Hand over that Ruby, boy,
looks like it could be worth a few euros to me.

1035
01:52:24,190 --> 01:52:30,650
-No. For I need it to bring little Naboo back to life.
-Oh really?

1036
01:52:32,410 --> 01:52:34,130
-Yeah.
-Oh really?

1037
01:52:34,180 --> 01:52:35,890
-Yeah!
-That's what you're gonna do, is it?

1038
01:52:35,950 --> 01:52:39,340
Yeah! Huh...

1039
01:52:43,600 --> 01:52:45,350
Nooo...

1040
01:52:48,530 --> 01:52:56,030
Nooo - nooooo.... aaaaaa.....

1041
01:53:01,230 --> 01:53:08,420
Look Peter! Look at my acting Peter!
Look at I can do Peter, look!

1042
01:53:08,510 --> 01:53:13,780
Nooo... no.. now!

1043
01:53:18,130 --> 01:53:19,250
Fuck!

1044
01:53:26,610 --> 01:53:29,570
Peter, did I get the part Peter?

1045
01:53:29,830 --> 01:53:34,640
Of course you fuckin' didn't get the part, mate.
It's already been and gone at the cinema ain't it?!

1046
01:53:34,650 --> 01:53:37,320
-What?!
-It's on DVD you berk!

1047
01:53:39,240 --> 01:53:40,350
Yeah!

1048
01:53:41,140 --> 01:53:43,920
Yeah, right in the face!

1049
01:53:45,210 --> 01:53:47,820
No open coffin for Bollo!

1050
01:53:47,840 --> 01:53:51,790
Aaaa you've killed my friend and former lover!

1051
01:53:54,950 --> 01:53:58,830
If that ain't the geezer who likes to spit in
other people's faces!

1052
01:53:59,700 --> 01:54:03,890
Ooh, oooh, oooh m'nuts!

1053
01:54:08,170 --> 01:54:16,890
Bye everybody, oh uh Bollo, oh Bollo.
Bollo, Bollo, Bollo..

1054
01:54:18,360 --> 01:54:21,360
What is the matter with you?!

1055
01:54:21,460 --> 01:54:24,030
I told you it was a summer fling!

1056
01:54:26,680 --> 01:54:29,890
I'm deeaad, I'm deeaad, I'm deeaad...

1057
01:54:32,770 --> 01:54:34,600
I wish you were, pal.

1058
01:54:36,210 --> 01:54:41,640
Well there you have it Brixton! That's the end of
the show, everyone's fuckin' dead!

1059
01:54:42,680 --> 01:54:48,470
Naboo - the so-called enigma - dead as a doormat.

1060
01:54:51,590 --> 01:54:56,810
Yeah, whatever. Bollo - the fuckin' hammy
ape - dead also.

1061
01:54:56,840 --> 01:55:03,080
The geezer in the light blue outfit - I don't even know
his fuckin' name, the septic tank - he's dead as well!

1062
01:55:03,630 --> 01:55:06,670
Alright that's it, everyone's dead - I know
what you're thinking Brixton.

1063
01:55:07,230 --> 01:55:12,800
I know what you're thinkin' I know how you fuckers think,
you're thinking where's the geezer who likes jazz,

1064
01:55:12,910 --> 01:55:16,440
where's the geezer with the moustache,
he'll save the day.

1065
01:55:18,400 --> 01:55:21,880
Yeah? Well will he really?

1066
01:55:25,610 --> 01:55:30,870
I saw him backstage farting about with a trumpet sock.

1067
01:55:32,500 --> 01:55:36,820
A trumpet sock, you idiot? So I cut his fuckin'
head off.

1068
01:55:37,620 --> 01:55:42,190
I know what else you're thinking, where's the geezer
who looks like a bird, he'll save the day.

1069
01:55:42,320 --> 01:55:48,740
The one who dresses like a lady! No he won't!
He's here. I found him in Topshop.

1070
01:55:50,750 --> 01:55:58,910
I found him in Topshop with six items in a cubical!
Six items? You're only allowed four, you slag!

1071
01:55:58,950 --> 01:56:01,660
What do you think are the fuckin' sign's for?

1072
01:56:02,270 --> 01:56:07,600
So I chopped his head off and I fucked his stump!

1073
01:56:11,580 --> 01:56:17,090
That's right ladys and gentlemen, I'm a stump-fucker!

1074
01:56:18,570 --> 01:56:23,600
Welcome to the concept of stump-fucking!

1075
01:56:24,630 --> 01:56:26,930
The double-stump-fuck.

1076
01:56:27,650 --> 01:56:30,020
If there are any little'uns in tonight..

1077
01:56:30,150 --> 01:56:35,390
..I just wanna say it's  S T U M P ! Stump-fuckin'!

1078
01:56:35,790 --> 01:56:40,090
Get it right when you tell your mates in the
playground tomorrow!

1079
01:56:45,240 --> 01:56:51,220
Stump-fucking - a concept we couldn't quite
get past BBC3.

1080
01:56:56,740 --> 01:57:00,460
We wanted to call our show The Mighty Stump-fuckers!

1081
01:57:01,250 --> 01:57:05,960
And they said: 'If you do that, you'll have to
go on a little bit later.'

1082
01:57:06,160 --> 01:57:10,590
And we said: 'Is that physically fuckin' possible?'

1083
01:57:14,320 --> 01:57:21,890
We'll go on when we always go on! After two pints
of fuckin' lager and packet of crisps!

1084
01:57:27,200 --> 01:57:29,360
That's the end of the show!

1085
01:57:29,420 --> 01:57:33,620
-Now all fuck off!!
-Not so fast!   -What?

1086
01:57:41,560 --> 01:57:43,190
-Yes!
-Christ!

1087
01:57:43,710 --> 01:57:46,020
Ooh check me out!

1088
01:57:48,980 --> 01:57:51,610
I've got you surrounded, sir!

1089
01:57:53,390 --> 01:57:56,540
Jesus! It's like Woodstock meets Tour de France!

1090
01:58:13,500 --> 01:58:17,660
-Who are you?
-I go by many names.

1091
01:58:18,620 --> 01:58:21,920
Yeah, I heard all this shit backstage, move
it along, would you, pal?

1092
01:58:23,430 --> 01:58:25,120
Hush your lips.

1093
01:58:26,090 --> 01:58:28,260
Or I shall slice them off.

1094
01:58:29,050 --> 01:58:33,820
Place them upon your mother..
..and kiss her.

1095
01:58:40,520 --> 01:58:42,440
Oh yes, squire, what with?

1096
01:58:42,870 --> 01:58:44,650
With cold steel!

1097
01:58:49,470 --> 01:58:55,650
Well maybe I'll tear your nose off at the root and
flick it up the vicars anus!

1098
01:58:56,780 --> 01:58:58,510
With cold steel, mind?

1099
01:59:01,890 --> 01:59:04,660
I'm fuckin' warning you Flipper!

1100
01:59:12,510 --> 01:59:14,220
On guard.

1101
01:59:24,960 --> 01:59:30,570
Crikey! Ooh, I tore all the skin under my armpit!
Oooh help me boy, help me!

1102
01:59:30,670 --> 01:59:32,880
-We'll have to call the whole fight off.
-Are you okay?

1103
01:59:32,950 --> 01:59:34,360
Ooh I've done something wrong..

1104
01:59:34,430 --> 01:59:36,680
-Can I help you?
-I'm bleeding inside, help me boy - help me.

1105
01:59:44,040 --> 01:59:45,850
You fight well.

1106
01:59:47,250 --> 01:59:49,620
For a Jimmy Savile impersonater.

1107
01:59:58,070 --> 02:00:03,160
Shut up or I'll fix it for you.
And you, and you, and you!

1108
02:00:05,230 --> 02:00:09,590
You fight well yourself mate, for a geezer
in a purple dress.

1109
02:00:13,790 --> 02:00:15,600
This is not a dress.

1110
02:00:16,610 --> 02:00:22,590
This is the sacred robe of the psychedelic monks.
So I think the joke's on you.

1111
02:00:26,410 --> 02:00:29,300
Well it goes nicely with your little bicycle.

1112
02:00:29,660 --> 02:00:30,760
Oh really?

1113
02:00:52,870 --> 02:00:54,550
Now then, now then!

1114
02:00:56,720 --> 02:00:59,960
I think you'll find Jimmy can still move when
he needs to.

1115
02:01:00,620 --> 02:01:03,620
-You can never win, you know?
-Oh yeah, pal, why is that?

1116
02:01:04,420 --> 02:01:07,000
Because I taught you everything you know.

1117
02:01:08,820 --> 02:01:14,410
You might taught me everything I know, but you
didn't teach me everything you know.

1118
02:01:20,640 --> 02:01:22,700
-You know.. I know.. oh fuck!
-What does that mean?

1119
02:01:27,300 --> 02:01:30,470
Ooh take that you slag! Take that you nonce!

1120
02:01:30,980 --> 02:01:36,760
-Oooh Jesus! Oooh crikey!
- Get off! No! Leave me alone!

1121
02:01:39,320 --> 02:01:42,520
-You're too strong for me!
-Oh yeah, oh that's bad!

1122
02:01:42,840 --> 02:01:46,060
No! You're spoiling the illusion!

1123
02:01:48,590 --> 02:01:50,380
Take that!

1124
02:02:00,560 --> 02:02:02,350
How do we do it?

1125
02:02:03,640 --> 02:02:05,610
The magic of theatre.

1126
02:02:06,340 --> 02:02:10,180
-Let's end this, one way or the other, you slag.
-Bring it on, Terry Nutkins.

1127
02:02:16,830 --> 02:02:24,190
Oooh Crikey oooh ooh look at me, me go faster
stripe's come loose.

1128
02:02:24,340 --> 02:02:28,830
I'm only an old man, luckily I've still got one
trick left up my Lambeth sleeve.

1129
02:02:32,400 --> 02:02:34,390
Cock punchin'!

1130
02:02:36,810 --> 02:02:39,210
Oooh my fiery biscuit!

1131
02:02:41,660 --> 02:02:46,130
When in doubt, ladies and gentlemen, release
the middle digit!

1132
02:02:46,240 --> 02:02:50,730
The cockney cock-puncher! He punches one way,
he punches the other,

1133
02:02:50,840 --> 02:02:56,560
he punches diagonal, he's like connect four
in cock-punchin' terms.

1134
02:03:00,100 --> 02:03:04,300
Yeah, there's no one that can save you now Leo Sayer!

1135
02:03:06,450 --> 02:03:12,310
What? No! Christ! No! Oooh fuck! No!

1136
02:03:29,560 --> 02:03:34,910
Big leg! Here comes Big leg! He's got a big
fuckin' leg! Big leg!

1137
02:03:41,040 --> 02:03:42,900
Thank you Big leg!

1138
02:03:49,590 --> 02:03:55,600
And now all it is left to do is bring
the tiny shaman back to life.

1139
02:04:08,560 --> 02:04:12,340
Let the magic commence.

1140
02:04:26,570 --> 02:04:28,440
I'm alive!

1141
02:04:31,700 --> 02:04:36,270
So with the power of the Ruby brought Naboo
back to life.

1142
02:04:37,560 --> 02:04:39,150
Restoring his powers.

1143
02:04:40,740 --> 02:04:46,640
He flew high into the night sky like a tiny
blue Snoop dog.

1144
02:04:47,460 --> 02:04:53,150
Look at him move, look at him move, look
at his mother-lovin' shaman grooves.

1145
02:04:54,060 --> 02:04:59,360
And what of Fossil and Bollo? He restored
them back to life!

1146
02:05:00,970 --> 02:05:06,020
-Yeah! I'm alive!
-The power of Ruby! Knew no bounds.

1147
02:05:07,690 --> 02:05:16,010
What about Vince and Howard? Are they dead
forever? Of course they weren't!

1148
02:05:51,170 --> 02:05:56,300
Thank you Brixton! Good night!

1149
02:06:25,330 --> 02:06:26,530
Thank you!

1150
02:06:36,260 --> 02:06:38,740
Thank you Brixton, thank you!

1151
02:06:56,170 --> 02:06:57,760
Thanks a lot!

1152
02:07:07,420 --> 02:07:09,830
-Thank you!
-Thank you Brixton!

1153
02:07:09,840 --> 02:07:12,590
-Top shelf!
-Brixton rocks!

1154
02:07:45,390 --> 02:07:47,190
Oooh right in the eye!

1155
02:07:49,870 --> 02:07:52,420
-Hey, Vince..
-Brixton!

1156
02:07:53,580 --> 02:07:56,220
Oh yeah yeah yeah, cool. Hey, Bobby Bob Bob.

1157
02:07:58,330 --> 02:08:02,500
Three three three. Don't tell him, don't tell him,
I can only get three...

1158
02:08:03,010 --> 02:08:05,390
-Where's Vince going?
-Oh yeah, um.. Vince..

1159
02:08:05,450 --> 02:08:08,300
-Where's he going?
-To organise the after show party.

1160
02:08:08,630 --> 02:08:13,480
It's at this really cool club called Stumpy
McFuckies. Yeah!

1161
02:08:14,780 --> 02:08:16,840
That sounds good, let's go. It sounds like
fun fun fun.

1162
02:08:17,020 --> 02:08:19,860
-Fun fun fun.
-Hey there's one thing uh..

1163
02:08:20,260 --> 02:08:22,520
There's only room for three on the guestlist..

1164
02:08:22,880 --> 02:08:24,470
One, two, three.

1165
02:08:26,630 --> 02:08:27,850
See ya around.

1166
02:08:29,030 --> 02:08:32,870
Hey listen, maybe I'll see you like.. never!

1167
02:09:21,080 --> 02:09:24,250
Howard Moon alone again..

1168
02:09:31,890 --> 02:09:34,590
Not that lonely.

1169
02:09:39,870 --> 02:09:43,420
Because you're never quite alone.

1170
02:09:44,590 --> 02:09:48,990
Not when old mister Moon's shining doon.

1171
02:09:50,420 --> 02:09:56,230
Actually uhm.. sorry Howard, I don't think
I can hang out with you.

1172
02:09:56,280 --> 02:09:57,320
Why?

1173
02:09:57,630 --> 02:10:03,200
Well.. to be honest - you're a ball bag.

1174
02:10:05,180 --> 02:10:09,240
I'm the Moon - I don't hang out with ball bags.

1175
02:10:56,440 --> 02:11:01,050
-Okay, um... do you want me to..?
-Do you wanna sign for this?

1176
02:11:01,060 --> 02:11:03,780
-Yeah, do you have a pen?
-I don't have a pen, no.

1177
02:11:03,880 --> 02:11:06,620
Right, don't worry about that.

1178
02:11:08,980 --> 02:11:15,600
-That's very good. I like that.
-So, okay well.. I don't know what you're doing later, but um...

1179
02:11:15,920 --> 02:11:23,570
You mean I'm.. I'm sort of free later on, my diary's
freed up somewhat this evening so..

1180
02:11:23,660 --> 02:11:28,650
If you.. I don't think.. We've had some bad dealings in the past,
but if you want to sort of go for a meal and to resolve some difficulties..

1181
02:11:29,030 --> 02:11:33,590
-I could..
-A meal? With you?

1182
02:11:34,820 --> 02:11:37,390
-With Howard Moon?
-Oh yeah, why not?

1183
02:11:37,840 --> 02:11:45,090
You know, something I once saw a man like you in Burma,
I saw him hang, I helped him hang.

1184
02:11:46,330 --> 02:11:48,280
I can do the same for you.

1185
02:11:49,310 --> 02:11:51,950
-So is that a NO then?
-That's a big NO, my friend.

1186
02:11:55,130 --> 02:12:01,490
But uh... If you're free about half past ten make
sure you wear the red pants, n'est ce pas? Adios!

1187
02:12:02,390 --> 02:12:05,210
Thanking you, good night!

1188
02:12:11,470 --> 02:12:12,950
Oh well..

1189
02:12:13,790 --> 02:12:17,480
A delivery for me, maybe there's someone,
who loves me after all.

1190
02:12:21,710 --> 02:12:27,360
I'm Old Gregg motherfuckeeer!
I'm Old Gregg.

1191
02:12:27,960 --> 02:12:31,330
Yeah, yeah I'm Old Gregg.

1192
02:12:33,720 --> 02:12:37,560
Hey Brixton! I'm Old Gregg!

1193
02:12:41,110 --> 02:12:44,670
Ooh.. I'm drunk on Baileys.

1194
02:12:45,900 --> 02:12:50,610
I had a shoe full of Baileys and I'm drunk as a bitch.

1195
02:12:51,710 --> 02:12:54,390
I've got a mangina.

1196
02:12:56,420 --> 02:13:02,040
Yeah yeah, when I get it out, light comes from in it,
makes you feel tingly.

1197
02:13:02,660 --> 02:13:04,160
I'm Old Gregg!

1198
02:13:07,840 --> 02:13:09,860
-Hey Howard.
-Oh shit..

1199
02:13:11,140 --> 02:13:13,700
Hey Gregg, how the hell are you?

1200
02:13:14,630 --> 02:13:16,980
Good to see you, um.. how did you find me, Gregg?

1201
02:13:17,110 --> 02:13:23,450
Ooh oh I saw your poster, I saw your tiny
little Patrick Swayze eyes.

1202
02:13:25,830 --> 02:13:29,680
You've got those crazy Swayze eyes, and I knew
I had to come and find ya,

1203
02:13:29,680 --> 02:13:34,250
so I was gon... trying to do a surprise,
for the DVD I tried to make,

1204
02:13:34,440 --> 02:13:38,980
I came in a, presented myself to ya in a cube.

1205
02:13:41,820 --> 02:13:43,230
-I'm Old Gregg!
-Yeah..

1206
02:13:44,850 --> 02:13:46,890
Yes, we're all aware of your name.

1207
02:13:47,260 --> 02:13:53,610
-Uhm.. you've told me about eighty-thousand times look Gregg..
-Do you love me?

1208
02:13:59,630 --> 02:14:02,390
Greggory.. Greggory we had a time...

1209
02:14:03,650 --> 02:14:08,560
-Well it was more of a rape, but it was a.. it took place..
-We had a time.

1210
02:14:08,730 --> 02:14:10,330
-We had a time..
-We had a time.

1211
02:14:10,430 --> 02:14:12,330
The time finished, then we went out separate ways.

1212
02:14:12,400 --> 02:14:15,440
Now you've gone your way, I've gone my way
and that's the way it's gonna be, Gregg.

1213
02:14:16,230 --> 02:14:17,450
What do you mean?

1214
02:14:17,520 --> 02:14:19,010
-What I mean to say is..
-You love Greggory?

1215
02:14:19,810 --> 02:14:22,670
No, no Gregg, that's what I'm saying - it's over
between us, over.

1216
02:14:22,730 --> 02:14:24,870
-You must love Greggory!
-I don't love Greggory.

1217
02:14:24,910 --> 02:14:28,510
You must love me exactly as I love you, Howard.

1218
02:14:29,070 --> 02:14:34,240
Cos if your eyes don't love my eyes, I'm gonna
suck'em out with a powerful hoover.

1219
02:14:34,970 --> 02:14:37,610
And tuck'em up my downstairs mix-up.

1220
02:14:41,030 --> 02:14:42,110
Yeah...

1221
02:14:43,400 --> 02:14:47,620
-Maybe I was being a bit hasty there, Gregg. I.. you know, cos..
-Hasty?

1222
02:14:47,630 --> 02:14:51,200
Yeah, you know, sometimes when you do love
someone, you pretend not to,

1223
02:14:51,240 --> 02:14:55,700
it's kind of way of not being too eager, you know
I didn't wanna.. I was playing a game with you, Gregg.

1224
02:14:55,780 --> 02:14:57,740
Playing a game?

1225
02:15:01,070 --> 02:15:03,660
-Playing game with Old Greggory?
-Yeah, that's right.

1226
02:15:04,000 --> 02:15:06,460
Playin' motherfuckin' love game?

1227
02:15:09,170 --> 02:15:10,260
Yeah, come on!

1228
02:15:14,180 --> 02:15:18,630
~ Do you love me? Are you playing your love
games with me? ~

1229
02:15:19,060 --> 02:15:22,300
~ I just wanna know what to do 'cause I need
your love a lot. ~

1230
02:15:22,380 --> 02:15:27,010
~ Come on! Do you love me? Are you playing your
love games with me? ~

1231
02:15:27,600 --> 02:15:31,610
~ I just wanna know what to do 'cause I need
your love a lot. Come on now! ~

1232
02:15:31,890 --> 02:15:35,960
~ Moving too fast, this isn't a race, ooh.
Baby back off and lower the pace now, ~

1233
02:15:36,160 --> 02:15:40,480
~ Slow it down, and give me some space, mmmh.
Moving too fast, this isn't a race, ah ah! ~

1234
02:15:48,620 --> 02:15:52,600
~ Do you love me? Are you playing your love
games with me? ~

1235
02:15:53,270 --> 02:15:56,880
~ I just wanna know what to do 'cause I need
your love a lot. Come on! ~

1236
02:15:57,310 --> 02:16:01,370
~ Moving too fast this isn't a race, mmm.
Baby back off and lower the pace now. ~

1237
02:16:01,740 --> 02:16:06,020
~ Slow it down, and give me some space.
Moving too fast this isn't a race, no no! ~

1238
02:16:06,190 --> 02:16:08,360
~ -I'm Old Gregg!
-I know I think you said. ~

1239
02:16:08,460 --> 02:16:12,260
~ Come on don't make me beg now,
'cause I'm not your regular guy. ~

1240
02:16:13,000 --> 02:16:15,310
~ Don't be shy!
Do you love me? ~

1241
02:16:18,270 --> 02:16:19,300
~ Do you love me? ~

1242
02:16:22,690 --> 02:16:26,190
Greggorys! Come down here!

1243
02:16:26,950 --> 02:16:29,820
~ Do you love me? ~

1244
02:16:34,850 --> 02:16:37,950
Come on Brixton, get on your motherfuckin'
feet.. Three, four!

1245
02:16:39,420 --> 02:16:49,610
~ Do you love me? ~

1246
02:16:56,640 --> 02:16:59,520
-Yeah, yeah.
-Brixton!

1247
02:17:08,830 --> 02:17:10,320
Thank you!

1248
02:17:13,570 --> 02:17:16,440
Brixton, I've got one last surprise for you.

1249
02:17:18,290 --> 02:17:27,100
I did a stencil in my knickers. And now I'm gonna
unleash my mangina!

1250
02:17:29,960 --> 02:17:32,330
-We love you Brixton!
-Check it out!

1251
02:17:32,780 --> 02:17:34,300
-Good night!
-Brixton!

1252
02:17:34,770 --> 02:17:35,860
My mangina.

1253
02:17:56,510 --> 02:17:59,560
I've finally got my hands into Howard Moon.

1254
02:18:00,950 --> 02:18:07,030
Yeah, yeah - Howard got a surprise for me,
I don't know what it is.

1255
02:18:08,630 --> 02:18:11,550
It might be a shenis, yeah!

1256
02:18:15,790 --> 02:18:19,020
Come on you cheeky vixen, get in my wheelbarrow!

1257
02:18:20,400 --> 02:18:22,110
Don't mind if I do!

1258
02:18:23,700 --> 02:18:26,420
He's gotta mangina and I've got a shenis.

1259
02:18:27,800 --> 02:18:30,090
Let's make sweet love!