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* I'M GOING DOWN TO SOUTH PARK *
* GONNA HAVE MYSELF A TIME *
* FRIENDLY FACES EVERYWHERE *
* HUMBLE FOLKS WITHOUT TEMPTATION *
* GOING DOWN TO SOUTH PARK *
* GONNA LEAVE MY WOES BEHIND *
* AMPLE PARKING DAY OR NIGHT *
* PEOPLE SPOUTING "HOWDY NEIGHBOR" *
* HEADED ON UP TO SOUTH PARK *
* GONNA SEE IF I CAN'T UNWIND *
* ( mumbling ) *
* COME ON DOWN TO SOUTH PARK *
南方公园 第十季 第九集 小便池中的大粪之谜 字幕翻译: Bi11 * AND MEET SOME FRIENDS OF MINE *
( school bell ringing )
...AND SO CLASS,
所以, 同学们, 当Joe Lee 反抗回到了Aniston THAT IS WHEN JOLIE COUNTERED BACK TO ANISTON
AND SAID THINGS LIKE--
说了这样的话 OH HELLO, MR. MACKEY.
- 噢, Mr. Mackey. ALL THE GIRLS GO OUT IN THE HALL, PLEASE.
所有的女生到外面的大厅 I NEED TO SPEAK WITH THE BOYS OF THIS CLASS, M'KAY.
我要和班里的男生谈谈, m'kay?
男生们, 我们遇到个很严重的问题! BOYS, WE HAVE A VERY SERIOUS PROBLEM.
I'VE JUST COME FROM THE MEN'S RESTROOM,
我刚从男厕出来, AND SOMEBODY... WENT NUMBER TWO IN THE URINAL.
有人在小便池里"放2号"!
什么是小便池? WHAT'S A URINAL ?
挂在墙上用来尿尿的那个东西. THE WALL TOILET FOR PEEING IN.
AND SOME JOKESTER, TOOK A POOP IN IT, M'KAY.
有个混蛋在里面大便! Okay?
NOW, I WANT WHOEVER DID IT TO COME FORWARD RIGHT NOW
不管是谁干的, 我希望他能马上站出来, AND IT WILL BE LESS PAINFUL FOR EVERYBODY, M'KAY ?
这样对大家都好! M'kay?!
谁会在便池里大便? 这真是个离奇的犯罪. WHO WOULD TAKE A DUMP IN THE URINAL.
IT'S SUCH A SENSELESS CRIME.
MR. MACKEY, I THINK YOU MIGHT WANT TO ENTERTAIN
Mr. Mackey, 我想你应该认为这是个阴谋 THAT THIS IS SOME KIND OF CONSPIRACY...
就像 9-11事件. JUST LIKE 9-11.
Oh God, 又来了! 9-11不是阴谋, 肥猪! OH GOD, HERE WE GO AGAIN.
9-11 WAS NOT A CONSPIRACY, FAT ASS !
OH REALLY ?
真的?! 你相信你自己说的话吗, Kyle? DO YOU JUST BELIEVE EVERYTHING YOU'RE TOLD, KYLE ?
等等!! 我们别跑题好吗?! EXCUSE ME !
CAN WE GET BACK TO THE ISSUE, PLEASE ?
你们好像都不知道这有多么严重!! YOU ALL DON'T SEEM TO UNDERSTAND HOW SERIOUS THIS IS !
NOW WHO MADE DOOKIE IN THE URINAL ?
到底谁在小便池里排粪的?! ( all snickering )
你们觉得有意思吗, 呃?! M'kay! M'kay! OH YOU THINK IT'S FUNNY, HUH ?
M'KAY, M'KAY, YOU'RE GONNA THINK IT'S REAL FUNNY
等警察来了你们就知道什么是有意思了! WHEN THE POLICE GET HERE !
I'M SORRY, MR. MACKEY,
等下, Mr. Mackey, 但是那里根本没有什么证据. BUT THERE JUST ISN'T REALLY ANY EVIDENCE TO GO ON...
但是一定有动机! BUT THERE MUST HAVE BEEN SOME MOTIVE
NOBODY WOULD JUST DOOK IN THE URINAL FOR NO REASON.
没有人会无缘无故往小便池排粪. BUT WHO WOULD BENEFIT FROM CRAPPING IN THE URINAL ?
但是谁会往小便池里拉屎, 而从中获益呢? THIS IS TOO BIG A MYSTERY FOR ME,
这对我来说谜团太大了. 我们还是请Hardly Boys来吧. I THINK WE BETTER CALL IN THE HARDLY BOYS.
The Hardly Boys. 两个傲慢的年轻人 解决谜案很有一手 THE HARDLY BOYS !
TWO YOUNG WHIPPER SNAPPERS
WITH A KNACK FOR SOLVING MYSTERIES !
Hardly Boys 就在: THE HARDLY BOYS IN:
小便池中的大粪之谜.
就这样了, Hardly Boys, 我们没有任何头绪, 也无人认罪. SO THAT'S IT, HARDLY BOYS, WE'VE GOT NO LEADS
AND NOBODY ADMITTING TO THE CRIME.
THAT SURE IS A MYSTERY.
这肯定是个谜案. YEAH IT SOUNDS SUPER-HARD.
是呀, 似乎超难. WHOEVER DID IT MUST HAVE BEEN ANGRY WITH THE SCHOOL.
干坏事的家伙一定对学校很生气. OH... OH, I THINK I'M GETTING A CLUE.
噢... 我像我有线索了.
REALLY ?
F-..真的? YEAH, THIS IS TOTALLY GIVING ME A CLUE RIGHT NOW.
是啊, 现在的的确确给我了一个线索. OH, I'M STARTING TO GET A CLUE TOO !
噢..我也开始有线索了.
我的线索指向了这边. MY CLUE'S KINDA POINTING THIS WAY.
OH, YEAH, NOW I'VE GOT A TOTAL CLUE.
噢.. 我现在有了条总线.
I'VE STILL GOT A RAGING CLUE.
我还有条很狂的线索. MY CLUE'S POINTING OVER THERE NOW.
我的线索指向了那边! OH LET'S FOLLOW THAT CLUE.
那我们跟着这条线索走吧!
( school bell ringing )
DID THEY FIND OUT WHO CRAPPED IN THE URINAL YET ?
他们知道谁在便池里大便了吗? NOT YET.
还没. THEY AREN'T GOING TO FIND OUT WHO DID IT.
他们不会去查出谁干的. BUT THEY'LL MAKE UP A SCAPEGOAT,
但是他们会找个替罪羊, 抓起来, 让大家都信就是了 SEND HIM TO DETENTION
AND MAKE US ALL BELIEVE IT.
这就会又像9-11一样. IT'LL BE 9-11 ALL OVER AGAIN.
能不能别提9-11! WILL YOU SHUT UP ABOUT 9-11 ?
Kyle, 你为什么这么怕事实?! KYLE, WHY ARE YOU SO AFRAID OF THE TRUTH ?
BECAUSE ANYBODY WHO THINKS 9-11 WAS A CONSPIRACY
因为认为 9-11是阴谋的人 都是傻B! IS A RETARD !
OH REALLY ?
真的? 那你知道超过1/4的美国人 都认为9-11是阴谋吗? DID YOU KNOW THAT OVER ONE-FOURTH OF PEOPLE IN AMERICA
THINK THAT 9-11 WAS A CONSPIRACY ?
你是说1/4的美国人都是傻B? ARE YOU SAYING THAT ONE-FOURTH OF AMERICANS ARE RETARDS ?
YES, I'M SAYING ONE-FOURTH OF AMERICANS ARE RETARDS.
对 我是说1/4的美国人都是傻B. YEAH, AT LEAST ONE-FOURTH.
是, 至少1/4. LET'S TAKE A TEST SAMPLE: THERE'S FOUR OF US,
简单举例: 我们四个 你是傻B, 这就是1/4. YOU'RE A RETARD- THAT'S ONE-FOURTH.
THERE ARE SO MANY PEOPLE WHO KNOW THE TRUTH, KYLE.
...有不少人知道真相的, Kyle. 呃 Butters! BUTTERS !
HEY FELLAS !
嘿, 伙计们! BUTTERS, DO YOU THINK 9-11 WAS JUST A PLOT
Butters, 你认为9-11真的是恐怖分子搞的吗, BY SOME ANGRY TERRORISTS,
或是为了掩盖什么? OR DO YOU THINK THERE WAS SOME KIND OF COVER UP ?
我听说9-11是布什总统搞的. WELL, I HEARD THAT 9-11 WAS CAUSED BY PRESIDENT BUSH.
AH HA, YOU SEE ?
啊! 看吧? WHERE DID YOU HEAR THAT ?
你从哪儿听的?? FROM ERIC.
从 Eric 那里. I REST MY CASE.
本人对案情陈述完毕. BUTTERS, YOU DON'T REALLY BELIEVE THAT DO YOU ?
Butters, 你也不信那些, 是吧? WUL... I MEAN... YOU NEVER KNOW.
我说, 呃, 你不会知道的. 政府做了些令人毛骨悚然的事情. THE GOVERNMENT DOES SOME PRETTY SPOOKY THINGS.
THE GOVERNMENT AND THE CORPORATIONS HEADED BY THE JEWS
政府和犹太人组织的团伙制造了9-11惨剧. THAT CARRIED OUT 9-11.
THAT'S RIGHT, BUTTERS.
对, Butters. GOD DAMMIT !
他妈的, 你看看你传播这这些狗屁 带来了什么后果! 肥猪?! YOU SEE WHAT HAPPENS
WHEN YOU SPREAD THIS STUPID CRAP, FAT ASS !
WHAT- PEOPLE SEE THE TRUTH ?
什么?! 人们看到了真相?! CAN I GO NOW ?
我能走了吗? YOU GUYS ARE BLIND !
你们都是瞎子!! I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT EVERYONE HERE
我无法相信这里的人 居然轻易相信媒体说的一切! IS JUST BUYING INTO WHAT THEY'RE TOLD BY THE MEDIA.
我要去找真相了. I'M GOING TO GO FIND OUT THE TRUTH.
我要为大家揭开掩盖9-11阴谋的一切! I'M GONNA BLOW THE LID OFF THIS WHOLE 9-11 CONSPIRACY
ONCE AND FOR ALL.
噢 别... OH NO...
我问问题有错吗? * IS IT WRONG FOR ME TO ASK QUESTIONS *
* IS IT WRONG TO SEEK THE TRUTH *
探索真相有错吗?
* I CAN'T JUST BLINDLY ACCEPT THEIR VERSION *
我不能盲目接受别人的观点 * I CAN'T BASE MY LOGIC ON PROOF *
我不能在证据上建立自己的逻辑.
* ALMOST ALL THE EVIDENCE POINTS ONE WAY *
尽管所有的证物指向一处, * BUT I'M LIKE CHARLIE SHEEN AND GLORIA ESTEFAN *
但是我喜欢 Charlie Sheen 和 Gloria Estefan:
我要知道到底发生了什么 * I NEED TO KNOW WHAT REALLY HAPPENED *
* ON 9-11 *
在 9-11...11...11...11. * 9-11, 9-11 *
到底发生了什么 * WHAT REALLY HAPPENED ON 9-11... *
在9-11?
当然, 如此明了. 我们怎么以前都没有发现? OF COURSE... IT'S SO OBVIOUS...
HOW DID WE NOT SEE IT BEFORE...
THIS IS MY FROG, HE DOESN'T HAVE A NAME.
这是我的青蛙, 还没有名字. HE'S A FROG, NOT A TOAD BECAUSE TOADS DON'T RIBBIT.
他是青蛙不是蛤蟆, 因为蛤蟆不是兔子 我认为青蛙很适合作宠物. I THINK FROGS ARE GOOD PETS.
( scattered applause )
OKAY, THANK YOU, LEEROY,
谢谢, Leroy, 感谢你与大家分享你的小蠢青蛙. THANKS FOR SHARING YOUR DUMB LITTLE FROG WITH THE CLASS.
OKAY, ANYBODY ELSE HAVE ANYTHING FOR SHOW AND TELL ?
好, 还有谁要来"讲故事"?
OH, OOHH !
好的, Eric, 你来吧. ALRIGHT, ERIC, YOU CAN GO NEXT.
为了"讲故事" 今天我带来了... FOR SHOW AND TELL TODAY, I HAVE BROUGHT
MY SHOCKING POWERPOINT REPORT ON THE TRUTH...
...我的震撼 Powerpoint... BEHIND THE 9-11 ATTACKS.
讲述9-11袭击的幕后真相! OH CHRIST...
噢 天... WE ARE TOLD TO BELIEVE THAT THE FIRE FROM THE JET FUEL
我们被告知说 MELTED THE STEEL FRAMING OF THE TOWERS,
飞机燃料引起的火熔化了建筑的钢筋,
WHICH LED TO THEIR COLLAPSE.
导致了楼层的坍塌. BUT DID YOU KNOW JET FUEL DOESN'T BURN
但是你们知道飞机燃料燃烧 产生的温度并不足以熔化钢筋吗? AT A HIGH ENOUGH TEMPERATURE TO MELT STEEL ?
WE WERE TOLD THE PENTAGON WAS HIT BY A HIJACKED PLANE AS WELL.
我们也被告知五角大楼曾被劫持的飞机撞击, BUT NOW LOOK AT THIS PHOTO OF THE PENTAGON.
但是现在看看这张五角大楼的照片. THE HOLE IS NOT NEARLY BIG ENOUGH.
这个洞并不够大. 如果飞机撞击, 飞机的其他部分呢? AND IF A PLANE HIT IT... WHERE'S THE REST OF THE PLANE ?
WOAH...
哇... SO NOW, THE INEVITABLE QUESTION.
现在, 一个必然的问题: IF TERRORISTS DIDN'T CAUSE 9-11, WHO DID ?
如果不是恐怖分子搞的9-11, 那是谁搞的? REMEMBER THAT THERE ARE IN FACT, TWO TOWERS.
记得那里实际是两个楼. TWO MINUS ONE, IS ONE.
2减1是1, 1和1 就是 11; ONE, ONE- ELEVEN.
2减1是1, 一, 一. TWO MINUS ONE, IS ONE.
ONE, ONE- AND THERE ARE 9 MEMBERS ON
Silverstein的指挥板上写着9, 就是9-1-1 SILVERSTEIN'S BOARD OF DIRECTORS.
THAT'S 9-1-1, 9-11.
9-11. 然后 2 - 1 + 9/11 得到 12, AND TAKE TWO, MINUS ONE, PLUS NINE ELEVEN
AND YOU GET TWELVE.
WHICH LEADS US ALL TO THE MASTERMIND
带着我们找到了911袭击的谋划者. OF THE 9-11 ATTACKS...
KYLE.
Kyle! ME ?
我?? 12 CONTAINS THE NUMBERS ONE AND TWO.
12包含数字1和2, JUST LIKE THE TOILET YESTERDAY,
就像昨天厕所里 WHERE SOMEBODY WENT NUMBER TWO INSTEAD OF NUMBER ONE.
没有拉1号却拉了2号! ADD ONE AND TWO WITH NINE ELEVEN
1加2加 911 得 914! AND YOU GET 914.
DROP THE 4 AND IT'S "91"
丢掉4就是 91! EXACTLY THE SCORE KYLE GOT ON HIS SPELLING TEST
刚好是9-11之后的第12天, Kyle的拼写考试成绩! TWELVE DAYS AFTER 9-11.
谁从9-11获益最多?! Kyle! WHO HAD THE MOST TO GAIN FROM 9-11 ?
KYLE !
谁搞得大楼倒塌?! Kyle! WHO WAS NOWHERE TO BE FOUND THE MORNING THE TOWERS FELL ?
KYLE !
谁在小便池大便?! Kyle! WHO DROPPED THE DEUCE IN THE URINAL ?
KYLE !
但是可能最厉害的莫过于 这张2号塔的图片里的证据 BUT PROBABLY THE MOST DAMNING OF ALL
IS THE EVIDENCE SEEN IN THIS PHOTO OF TOWER 2
当我放大后发现东西很模糊, WHEN I ZOOMED IN, I SAW WHAT FIRST APPEARED TO BE A BLUR
BUT WHEN I COMPUTER-ENHANCED IT...
但我用计算机清晰处理后,
YOU ALMOST GOT AWAY WITH IT, YOU SNEAKY BUTTHOLE.
你差点就可以脱身, 你这卑鄙的混蛋.
( school bell ringing )
嘿 Token. HEY TOKEN.
你..你今晚看比赛吗, Butters. YOU GONNA WATCH THE GAME TONIGHT, BUTTERS ?
AAAAHG !
得了得了, 我不会为9-11负责的! 他妈的! ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT !
I WAS NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR 9-11 !
GOD DAMMIT !
今天学校怎样? HELLO BOOBIE, HOW WAS SCHOOL TODAY ?
TERRIBLE.
可怕. OH, COME ON, SCHOOL ISN'T ALL THAT BAD.
学校不总是那样糟的. BUT, EVERYONE THINKS I WAS RESPONSIBLE FOR 9-11.
但是, 人们都认为我应该为9-11负责. WHAT-WHAT-WHATTT ?
啥啥啥?! WE HAVE TO DO SOMETHING.
我们必须做些什么事情! IT IS OBVIOUS THAT OUR CHILDREN
很明显, 我们的孩子对9-11还很迷惑! ARE STILL COMPLETELY CONFUSED ABOUT 9-11 !
YES, WE NEED TO GO OVER IT AGAIN IN THE CLASSROOMS
对, 应该在课堂上再讲一次 SO THEY UNDERSTAND WHAT REALLY HAPPENED.
这样他们就知道了真正发生了什么. WELL... WHAT REALLY HAPPENED ?
那真正发生了什么? THERE'S STRONG EVIDENCE THAT WHAT WE WERE TOLD
有很有力的证据可以证明 我们所听到并不是真相. ISN'T THE TRUTH.
OH NO. COME ON.
噢 不 老兄 别啊. THAT'S RIGHT.
对. 你知道在塔底也看到了爆炸吗? DID YOU KNOW THAT THERE WERE EXPLOSIONS SEEN
AT THE BASE OF THE TOWERS ?
OH BROTHER. NO, NO. ARE YOU RETARDED ?
噢 不 天, 那真傻B. LOOK, WHATEVER YOU BELIEVE
不管你们信什么, 事实上是有人... THE FACT OF THE MATTER IS SOMEBODY...
DROPPED A DOOK IN THE SCHOOL URINAL
在学校的小便池里拉大便, 至今还没有下文! AND THERE'S STILL NO EXPLANATION FOR THAT !
MR. MACKEY, THERE ARE MORE IMPORTANT THINGS GOING ON HERE.
Mr. Mackey, 这里有更重要的事情! MORE IMPORTANT ?
更重要?! 你并不是那个, 走进男厕, okay, YOU AREN'T THE ONE
WHO HAD TO WALK INTO THE BOY'S BATHROOM, M'KAY
AFTER HAVING TO WAKE UP EARLY, YOU KNOW,
干完那个, 早早起来, 你知道, THERE'S NO COFFEE IN THE TEACHER'S LOUNGE
教室休息室又没 没有咖啡, 然后你, AND THEN YOU WALK INTO THE BATHROOM
你走进厕所, 却发现便池里有一大条便便! TO JUST FIND A BIG DOOK LAYING THERE IN THE URINAL.
LIKE IT'S LAUGHING AT YA.
就像在嘲笑你! HE'S RIGHT.
他说的对! 那粪便可能就是用来掩盖9-11的! THE TURD COULD HAVE BEEN PUT IN THERE
TO COVER UP 9-11 !
我没说他们之间有关系! NO, I'M NOT SAYING THEY'RE RELATED !
HOW DO WE KNOW THEY'RE NOT ?
我们怎么知道没有? 我们要敢于提问! WE NEED TO BE BRAVE ENOUGH TO ASK QUESTIONS !
IT'S OBVIOUS THAT BEFORE WE GO ANY FURTHER
再也明显不过了, WE NEED TO FIND OUT WHO WAS BEHIND 9-11 ONCE AND FOR ALL !
我们要马上揪出9-11的幕后黑手!
WELL, WHO ELSE COULD IT HAVE BEEN.
他可能是谁呢? THIS IS TOO BIG OF A MYSTERY FOR ME.
这对我来说谜团太大了. 我们还是请Hardly Boys来吧.. I THINK WE BETTER CALL IN THE HARDLY BOYS.
OH NO, NOT THE GOD DAMN--
不, 别他妈的- THE HARDLY BOYS
The Hardly Boys. TWO SMART YOUNG WHIPPER SNAPPERS
两个傲慢的年轻人 解决谜案很有一手 WITH A TASTE FOR SOLVING MYSTERIES.
Hardly Boys 就在: 世贸中心的阴谋案 THE HARDLY BOYS IN:
这是关于他的长短, Hardly Boys. SO THAT'S ABOUT THE LONG AND SHORT OF IT, HARDLY BOYS.
THERE WERE TWO TOWERS THAT STOOD RIGHT HERE,
曾经两栋大厦矗立在此, 现在已经不见了. AND THEY'RE GONE.
AND NOBODY KNOWS WHO'S RESPONSIBLE ?
没人知道谁该负责? THERE ARE THEORIES, BUT NOBODY'S CERTAIN.
虽然有理论 但是无法确定罪人 HMM, WHO WOULD BENEFIT MOST
嗯, 谁会从大楼消失获益? FROM TWO BUILDINGS DISAPPEARING ?
OH, I JUST STARTED GETTING A CLUE.
噢, 我开始有线索了. REALLY ?
真的? YEAH I'M TOTALLY GETTING A CLUE.
对, 我几乎已经有线索了. OH, THAT'S GIVING ME A CLUE.
噢, 确实给了我线索. 对, 我现在也有了个强线索. YEAH, I'VE GOT A RAGING CLUE RIGHT NOW.
MINE'S POINTING TO THE LEFT.
我的指向左边. OH, FRANK, SERIOUSLY I HAVE SUCH A RAGING CLUE RIGHT NOW
噢 F-, 噢 Frank, 实话说, 我现在有如此强的线索,
I THINK WE BETTER FOLLOW IT.
我想我们最好跟上它. OKAY, LET'S FOLLOW YOUR RAGING CLUE...
好, 我们跟着你的强线索.
GOD SPEED.
神速.
Kyle! KYLE ! AAHGGH !
老兄, 能不能告诉我 为什么CIA的人跑我家 DUDE, DO YOU MIND TELLING ME WHY CIA GUYS
来问我问题?? ARE COMING TO MY HOUSE AND QUESTIONING ME ABOUT YOU ?
我不知道. 好像人们都在凭空拼凑东西. I DON'T KNOW, DUDE !
IT'S LIKE EVERYONE'S PUTTING PIECES TOGETHER
那你牵扯我来干什么?? THAT AREN'T THERE !
BUT WHY DID YOU HAVE TO INVOLVE ME ?
这不是我的错. IT'S NOT MY FAULT !
行了, 我已经在网上作了大量搜索 ALRIGHT, LOOK, I'VE BEEN DOING A LOT OF RESEARCH ON THE WEB
我找到一个网站可以证明你与9-11无关. AND I FOUND AN ORGANIZATION WHO SAYS THEY CAN PROVE
YOU WEREN'T INVOLVED IN 9-11.
真的? REALLY ?
走吧, 我们走后门, 他们看不到. COME ON, WE'LL GO OUT THE BACK
我们出发前确认一件事: SO THEY DON'T SEE YOU.
THERE'S JUST ONE THING I NEED TO KNOW BEFORE WE GO...
你不为9-11负责, 对吧? YOU WEREN'T RESPONSIBLE FOR 9-11, RIGHT ?
......老兄. DUDE !
这就是我要的. THAT'S ALL I NEEDED.
( school bell ringing )
你可能认为我已经放弃了 找那个在小便池里大便的人. M'kay? NOW YOU MIGHT ALL THINK I'VE GIVEN UP
ON FINDING WHO CRAPPED IN THE URINAL, M'KAY.
也许, 也许你认为这是个良性犯罪. AND MAYBE, MAYBE YOU THINK IT'S A VICTIMLESS CRIME...
这, Mr. Venezuela , 这是学校的清洁工. Okay? THIS IS MR. VENEZUELA, THE SCHOOL JANITOR, M'KAY.
他是那... 必须得打扫... HE'S THE PERSON WHO HAS TO CLEAN UP
那些混蛋拉错便池的..大便! WHEN SOME TRICKSTER
DROPS A DOOK IN THE WRONG TOILET.
Mr. Venezuela 干的最好的时候 一小时最多挣六块! Okay? MR. VENEZUELA MAKES SIX BUCKS AN HOUR AT BEST, M'KAY
他家有三个小孩, 他的车几乎不能发动, HE'S GOT THREE KIDS AT HOME,
HE'S GOT A CAR THAT BARELY WORKS,
他用锯末清理呕吐物, m'kay, HE'S GOT TO CLEAN UP PUKE WITH SAW DUST, M'KAY,
当他走进男厕 看到肉呼呼的一陀就在脸前! THEN HE WALKS INTO THE BOYS ROOM
AND SEES A BIG MEATY CHUD STARIN' HIM IN THE FACE.
所以当你在小便池里拉屎, m'kay, SO WHEN YOU CRAPPED IN THAT URINAL, M'KAY,
你就像脱掉自己的裤子, YOU MIGHT AS WELL'VE JUST DROPPED YOUR PANTS
把大粪拉到 Mr. Venezuela 的头上一样! AND LAID A TURD RIGHT ON MR. VENEZUELA'S HEAD.
你们觉得好玩?! OH, YOU THINK IT'S FUNNY, HUH !?
Mr. Mackey! 抓到了. MR. MACKEY, WE GOT HIM !
呃? HUH ?
我们抓到了干坏事的人. WE CAUGHT THE PERSON THAT DID IT.
HI, WE WERE HOPING YOU CAN HELP US.
我希望你能帮助我们 我的朋友应为9-11而被指责 MY FRIEND IS BEING BLAMED FOR 9-11.
啊, 进来吧, 孩子. OH JEEZ, COME ON IN, KIDS.
这并不奇怪. 每天 越来越多的人因为9-11而被指责. IT DOESN'T SURPRISE ME.
MORE AND MORE PEOPLE ARE BEING BLAMED FOR 9-11 EVERY DAY.
是吗? THEY ARE ?
是, 这样就让人们无法看到9-11的真相. YEAH IT'S A WAY OF KEEPING PEOPLE
FROM SEEING THE REAL EVIDENCE.
我知道这听起来有些疯狂 但是9-11确实是我们政府制造的, I KNOW IT SEEMS CRAZY,
BUT 9-11 WAS PULLED OFF BY OUR OWN GOVERNMENT.
这样他们就能为打击中东获取更多支持. SO THEY COULD GAIN SUPPORT FOR ATTACKING THE MIDDLE EAST.
什么? 不 不 不. WHAT ? NO, NO, NO.
我知道这很难相信. I KNOW IT'S HARD TO BELIEVE.
老兄, 为什么政府袭击自己的大楼? DUDE, WHY WOULD THE GOVERNMENT ATTACK ITS OWN BUILDINGS ?
这叫反向政策. IT'S CALLED THE FALSE FLAG POLICY.
看起来像是敌人进攻你, MAKE IT LOOK LIKE THE ENEMY HAS ATTACKED YOU.
让你的市民一片混乱 晃着国旗. GET ALL YOUR CITIZENS RILED UP AND WAVING AMERICAN FLAGS
你就可以随意的入侵任何一个国家了. THEN YOU'RE FREE TO INVADE ANY COUNTRY YOU WANT.
THAT'S RETARDED.
...那真傻B. LOOK INTO EVIDENCE OF 9-11 AND YOU'LL SEE
仔细看9-11的证据, 你就会发现他们故事中有很多漏洞.
THERE ARE A LOT OF HOLES IN THEIR STORY !
进化论中也有许多漏洞; 但不代表它们是错的. THERE'S A LOT OF HOLES IN THE THEORY OF EVOLUTION TOO,
IT DOESN'T MEAN IT'S WRONG.
你们不明白! YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND !
政府控制一切. THE GOVERNMENT CONTROLS EVERYTHING.
媒体, 公司, 他们有权控制想控制的一切. THE MEDIA, THE CORPORATIONS
THEY HAVE THE POWER TO DO ANYTHING THEY WANT !
这, 看! 读上面的标签! 快, 读啊! HERE LOOK, READ THE LABELS ON THESE !
GO ON ! READ THEM !
代号 234 "CODE 2-3-4."
我想它们来自政府的办公室. WE THINK THEY CAME FROM A GOVERNMENT OFFICE.
这是什么? WHAT IS IT ?
是炭疽. IT'S ANTHRAX.
炭疽?! ANTHRAX ?
有一天我们将用此作为证据来和他们对质! SOMEDAY, WE'LL USE IT AS EVIDENCE AGAINST THEM.
Stan, 我们不能被人发现参与这疯事! 啊, 啊, 啊~~! STAN, WE CAN'T BE SEEN WITH THIS NUT JOB !
RAHGHGH ! HANDS UP ! DON'T MOVE !
( sirens blaring )
AW-AW ! AWWWWW !
WHY, CLYDE, WHY DID YOU DO IT ?
为什么, Clyde? 你为什么这样做?
我不知道. I DUNNO.
你无视整个学校, Clyde! M'kay? YOU'VE GOT A WHOLE SCHOOL HERE, CLYDE, M'KAY ?
你无视三百多要用男厕的人. YOU'VE GOT OVER THREE HUNDRED PEOPLE
THAT NEED TO USE THE BOYS ROOM.
你决定要做喜剧演员, m'kay, AND YOU DECIDE YOU'RE GONNA BE A COMEDIAN, M'KAY,
在小便池里努出一条, 让它躺在那里给每个人看! AND PINCH ONE OFF IN THE URINAL
AND LEAVE IT LAYING THERE FOR EVERYONE TO HAVE TO LOOK AT.
你认为很好玩, 但别人不是! M'KAY, YOU THINK IT'S FUNNY, BUT NOBODY ELSE DOES.
他们走进厕所看到你的臭屎 THEY'VE GOT TO WALK INTO THAT BATHROOM
AND SEE YOUR RANCID DOOK
像棕色的破布娃娃一样支在便池里面! PROPPED AGAINST THE BACK OF THE URINAL
LIKE A BROWN RAG DOLL.
Mr. Mackey, Clyde的父母来了. MR. MACKEY, CLYDE'S PARENTS ARE HERE.
M'kay, 太好了! M'KAY, THAT'S GOOD.
让我们看看你妈妈和爸爸 怎么说你的小屎条! LET'S SEE WHAT YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE TO SAY
ABOUT YOUR LITTLE POOPSCAPADE.
请进. 我正在让你的孩子解释... COME ON IN, PLEASE,
I'M JUST TRYING TO GET YOUR SON TO EXPLAIN
他在小便池里拉屎! WHY HE WOULD DROP A DOOK IN THE URINAL.
Mr. Mackey, 有些事情你不清楚... MR. MACKEY...
THERE'S SOMETHING YOU SHOULD KNOW...
打扰下, 我们之间是误会. EXCUSE ME, THERE'S BEEN A MISUNDERSTANDING...
请进, 总统先生. COME ON IN, MR. PRESIDENT.
MR. PRESIDENT, MY NAME IS--
总统先生, 我的名字是- SHUT UP.
闭---嘴----!! YOU THINK WE DON'T KNOW YOUR NAME ?
你以为我们不知道你的名字?! 我们什么都知道!
我们操纵一切! WE KNOW EVERYTHING.
WE CONTROL EVERYTHING.
我们都在非常努力的保守我们和9-11之间的秘密! WE'VE ALL WORKED VERY HARD
TO KEEP OUR INVOLVEMENT IN 9-11 A SECRET.
但你们却没完没了的深究! BUT YOU JUST HAD TO KEEP DIGGING.
真嘀? REALLY ?
你跑不掉的! 人民都知道! YOU WON'T GET AWAY WITH IT.
人民? 你是说羊民吧. ( 羊民, 原文sheeple, 不看周围事情, 说什么都信的人们) PEOPLE KNOW.
"PEOPLE" YOU MEAN SHEEPLE.
我们让他们的大部分都沉浸在喜悦的无知中 WE HAVE THE MAJORITY OF THEM KEPT IN BLISSFUL IGNORANCE.
只是一点.. 不足... 来完善... JUST ONE MORE LEAK TO FIX.
等等. 你干什么? WAIT... WHAT ARE YOU DOING ?
关于我们你知道的太多, 我很害怕. YOU'VE BEEN A THORN IN OUR SIDE FOR TOO LONG, I'M AFRAID.
不, 别这样, 求你 我不研究了. NO, YOU CAN'T DO THIS !
PLEASE, I'LL STOP !
我会关闭网站的. I'LL TAKE DOWN THE WEBSITE.
- 噢 不! MR. MH-RMHPH ! RMHMHPMH !
太晚了. TOO LATE !
( gunshot )
JESUS CHRIST!! JESUS CHRIST !
HA HA HA... HE DIED LIKE A PIG.
他像猪一样死了. SOME PIGS NEVER LEARN.
有些猪就是学不会.
没路了-. NO, WAY !
他说的对. 你制造了 9/11. HE WAS RIGHT YOU DID CAUSE 9-11 !
对. 非常简单的引发, 真的. YES, QUITE SIMPLE TO PULL OFF, REALLY.
我所做的就是在塔底埋了些炸药. ALL I HAD TO DO WAS HAVE EXPLOSIVES PLANTED
IN THE BASE OF THE TOWERS.
9-11那天, 我们假装4架飞机被劫持. THEN ON 9-11 WE PRETENDED LIKE FOUR PLANES WERE BEING HIJACKED
当我们真正把他们调回Pennsyvania时 WHEN REALLY WE JUST RE-ROUTED THEM TO PENNSYLVANIA.
然后把两架战斗机飞进世贸中心 安放更多的炸药, THEN FLEW TWO MILITARY JETS INTO THE WORLD TRADE CENTER
然后用F-15机枪打死93号航班上的所有目击者 FILLED WITH MORE EXPLOSIVES AND SHOT DOWN ALL THE WITNESSES
就在用巡航导弹炸五角大楼之后. IN FLIGHT 93 WITH AN F-15,
AFTER BLOWING UP THE PENTAGON WITH A CRUISE MISSILE.
这是世界上和历史上最复杂而又完美无暇的事情. IT WAS ONLY THE WORLD'S MOST INTRICATE
AND FLAWLESSLY EXECUTED PLAN EVER, EVER.
...真嘀?? REALLY ? WHY ?
为什么?! THE OLDEST REASON IN THE WORLD... MONEY.
世上的经典理由--钱.
塔倒了, 美国羊民都挥舞着旗帜. THE TOWERS FELL AND THE AMERICAN SHEEPLE ALL WAVED THEIR FLAGS.
最终我们可以入侵伊拉克, 获得石油, 让我们更加富有. FINALLY WE COULD INVADE IRAQ,
AND GET THE OIL WHICH MADE US ALL EVEN RICHER THAN BEFORE.
美丽的钱啊, 哈哈哈! BEAUTIFUL MONEY, HA HA HAAA !
REALLY ?
...真嘀?? IS THE WHOLE GOVERNMENT IN ON THIS ?
所有的政府部门都参与了? WE ARE ALL-KNOWING AND ALL-POWERFUL.
我们无所不知无所不能, 再见了!
GOODBYE, BOYS.
( alarms ringing )
啊呀, 又没射中! DANGIT, I MISSED AGAIN !
看在老天的份上, Cheney! FOR CHRIST'S SAKE, CHENEY !
Kyle! 跑啊! KYLE, RUN !
灭-了-他-们-! KILL THEMMMMM !
同学们注意. ATTENTION STUDENTS.
显然的, Clyde 不是在小便池里大便的人, APPARENTLY CLYDE COULD NOT HAVE BEEN THE ONE
WHO CRAPPED IN THE URINAL,
因为Clyde 5岁的时候有做结肠造口术. 'Kay? BECAUSE CLYDE HAD A COLOSTOMY AT AGE FIVE, M'KAY.
现在, 干了这难以启齿之事的人还在逍遥. NOW, WHOEVER DID THIS UNSPEAKABLE ACT
IS STILL AT LARGE.
男厕从此关闭, THE BOYS BATHROOM IS CLOSED UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE.
因为你们有人认为这样做很好... BECAUSE ONE OF YOU THOUGHT IT WOULD BE A GOOD IDEA,
TO PULL DOWN YOUR PANTS, M'KAY,
脱下裤子... m'kay,
屁股放在小便池上... HOVER YOUR BUTT CHEEKS OVER THE URINAL,
挤出一条巧克力热狗... m'kay? AND SQUEEZE OUT A CHOCOLATE HOT DOG, M'KAY.
你们认为很有意思, 呃?! 我告诉你们, 这不好玩... OH YOU THINK THAT'S FUNNY, HUH ?
LET ME ASSURE THERE IS NOTHING FUNNY
一个舒适, 干净, 放心的便池, 'kay, ABOUT GOING UP TO A NICE, CLEAN, UNSUSPECTING URINAL, M'KAY
脱掉裤子.. 然后..转身... DROPPING YOUR PANTS, TURNING AROUND,
SQUATTING OVER THAT URINAL, M'KAY
在小便池上蹲下, 'kay, 也许... MAYBE PULLING YOUR BUTT CHEEKS APART WITH YOUR HANDS,
也许用你的手摆开你的屁股蛋, m'kay, AND THEN LAYING OUT A BIG FUDGE DRAGON
然后拉出一个大恐龙软糖给全世界看.
FOR ALL THE WORLD TO SEE.
是吗, 真的很有意思! OH YEAH, THAT'S REAL FUNNY.
我最终一定要抓到这个狗娘养的! M'kay?! I'M GONNA CATCH THIS SONOFABITCH
IF IT'S THE LAST THING I DO, M'KAY !
好了我们换乘65路内线公车. ALRIGHT, NOW WE HAVE TO SWITCH OVER TO INNER BUS 65.
我们成功了. 我们得在18小时内回到家. WE MADE IT, DUDE.
WE SHOULD BE HOME IN LESS THAN EIGHTEEN HOURS.
然后告诉大家我们的所见. THEN WE'LL TELL EVERYONE WHAT WE SAW !
只是...看起来不大对劲. IT JUST DOESN'T SEEM RIGHT.
对啊, 我们终于睁开了双眼. 就像第一次醒来一样. YEAH, OUR EYES ARE FINALLY OPEN, DUDE.
IT'S LIKE WAKING UP FOR THE FIRST TIME.
对... 但你不觉得我们 从白宫跑出来过于容易了? YEAH, BUT DOESN'T IT SEEM LIKE
WE GOT OUT OF THE WHITE HOUSE PRETTY EASILY ?
我意思是, 从白宫里跑出来 人们又都在追你 I MEAN, IT SEEMS LIKE IT WOULD BE PRETTY HARD
应该十分困难才对, TO ESCAPE FROM THE WHITE HOUSE
但是我们就这样...跑出来了. WITH EVERYONE CHASING YOU AND WE JUST KIND OF...
好了, 也许我们真是十足的混蛋. 你考虑过那些了吗? RAN OUT.
WELL DUDE, MAYBE WE'RE JUST SUPER BAD-ASS,
HAVE YOU THOUGHT OF THAT ?
嘿, 你还活者, 回来! HEY !
DUDE, YOU'RE ALIVE ?
COME BACK HERE !
HEY !
嘿!
AGHGH !
AGHGH !!
AHGH - AHGHGH !!
不. 求你. 求--你--! NO... PLEASE !
DUDE, WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON ?
到底他妈的怎么了?! DON'T KILL ME !
别杀我! 我只是按他们说的在做! I JUST DO WHAT THEY SAY !
WHAT WHO SAYS ?
谁说的? I HAVE A FAMILY !
我还要养家, 别杀我! PLEASE DON'T KILL ME !
我们不杀你啊. DUDE, WE AREN'T GOING TO KILL YOU !
( gunshot )
老天! OH GOD !
这里不安全, 跟我来! IT ISN'T SAFE HERE, BOYS !
FOLLOW ME !
你又他妈是谁?! WHO THE F--K ARE YOU ?
没时间了! 快来! THERE'S NO TIME, COME ON !
DO YOU MIND TELLING US WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON ?
能不能告诉我们他妈的到底怎么回事?? WHO ARE YOU ?
你是谁? I'M A DETECTIVE.
我是侦探, 我怀疑你们被双重利用了. AND I'M AFRAID YOU KIDS HAVE BEEN DOUBLE-CROSSED.
YOU'VE FIGURED THIS THING ALL OUT ?
你弄清这些事情了? NOT ME... MY MYSTERY-SOLVING SONS.
不是我. 我的谜案解决者. 进来吧
COME ON IN, BOYS.
我的孩子曾经研究谁在小便池里放2号 MY BOYS WERE RESEARCHING WHO WENT NUMBER TWO
IN THE URINAL AT YOUR SCHOOL
在你们学校发现了些奇怪的事情, WHEN THEY DISCOVERED SOMETHING ODD
给了他们线索. WHICH GAVE THEM A CLUE.
同时给了我们线索. IT GAVE US BOTH A CLUE.
这条线索带着他们去了一个9-11阴谋组织聚会, THAT CLUE LEAD THEM TO A 9-11 CONSPIRACY GROUP PARTY.
他们有了更多的线索. WHERE THEY GOT A LOT MORE CLUES.
我好像每2分钟就有一条线索. I WAS GETTING A CLUE LIKE EVERY TWO MINUTES.
I GOT SUCH A RAGING CLUE,
我的线索如此之强差点射到Joe. THAT I ALMOST SHOT CLUE GOO ALL OVER JOE.
THOSE CLUES POINTED OUT THAT ALL THE 9-11 CONSPIRACY THEORIES
这些线索指出 COULD BE DISPROVEN SCIENTIFICALLY.
所有的9-11阴谋论都能被合理的反证推倒.
然后 Frank 有了最大的线索. AND THAT'S WHEN FRANK GOT HIS BIGGEST CLUE.
IT WAS HUGE.
很巨大噢. THAT ALL THE 9-11 CONSPIRACY WEBSITES
所有说9-11是阴谋的网站都是政府运营的. ARE RUN BY THE GOVERNMENT...
9-11阴谋是政府的阴谋. THE 911 CONSPIRACY...
IS A GOVERNMENT CONSPIRACY.
OH JESUS.
啊 老天... WHY WOULD THE GOVERNMENT WANT PEOPLE TO THINK
为什么政府要人们相信是它制造的9-11? THEY CAUSED 9-11 ?
政府要有权, 必须显得能控制一切. FOR A GOVERNMENT TO HAVE POWER
THEY MUST APPEAR TO HAVE COMPLETE CONTROL.
让人们畏惧比说服人们更好 WHAT BETTER WAY TO MAKE PEOPLE FEAR THEM
THAN TO CONVINCE THEM THEY ARE CAPABLE OF
他们有能力在地球上精心计划? THE MOST ELABORATE PLAN ON EARTH ?
足够了, Hardly! THAT'S QUITE ENOUGH, HARDLY !
DON'T BELIEVE WHAT HE SAYS, BOYS.
别信他说的, 我们制造了9-11. WE CAUSED 9-11.
这些都记录在这些秘密文档里, 不过你永远拿不到. IT'S ALL RIGHT HERE IN THESE SECRET DOCUMENTS.
BUT YOU'LL NEVER GET THEM !
( yawn )
I KNEW IT- YOU DIDN'T PLAN 9-11
我就知道, 你没有制造9-11 你也没有开枪打那人! AND YOU DIDN'T REALLY SHOOT THAT GUY !
BOYS, YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.
孩子, 你们不懂. PEOPLE NEED TO THINK THAT WE ARE ALL-POWERFUL
人们需要认为我们是全能的 然后我们才能控制世界. THAT WE CONTROL THE WORLD.
IF THEY KNOW WE WEREN'T IN CHARGE OF 9-11
如果他们知道了不是我们制造的9-11 我们将失去控制权. THEN WE APPEAR TO CONTROL NOTHING.
WHY DON'T YOU JUST TELL PEOPLE THE TRUTH ?
为什么你们不告诉人们真相?! WE DO THAT TOO !
我们也那样做的. AND MOST PEOPLE BELIEVE THE TRUTH !
并且大部分人相信事实. BUT ONE-FOURTH OF THE POPULATION IS RETARDED.
但是1/4的人是傻B.
如果他们坚信是我们控制一切, 有着精密的计划, 何乐不为? IF THEY WANT TO BELIEVE WE CONTROL EVERYTHING
WITH INTRICATE PLANS, WHY NOT LET THEM ?
JUST ONE THING, MR. PRESIDENT
一件事, 总统先生, 你怎么知道我们在这里的? HOW THE DEVIL DID YOU KNOW WE WERE ALL HERE ?
( gun cocking )
HOW COME YOU COULDN'T JUST GO HOME, DUDE ?
我们回家好吗? 这是我们该做的! THAT'S ALL WE HAD TO DO.
STAN ! WHAT THE F--K !
Stan! 他妈的搞什么?! IT WAS ALL PLANNED OUT.
全是计划好了的! YOU KNEW THIS WHOLE TIME ?
你一直都知道? 为什么? WHY ?
因为是我. 是我往小便池里拉的大便. BECAUSE IT WAS ME...
I'M THE ONE WHO TOOK A DUMP IN THE URINAL.
WHAT ?
什么?? THE STALLS WERE FULL AND I DIDN'T WANT TO MISS RECESS !
坑位都满了我又来不急! I DIDN'T THINK IT WOULD TURN INTO SUCH A BIG DEAL !
我不知道会召来这么多麻烦! SO YOU BLAMED THE GOVERNMENT ?
所以你责怪政府?! AND THE GOVERNMENT WAS MORE THAN WILLING TO TAKE THE BLAME
并且政府很喜欢接受指责,
这样就看起来他们负责9-11! SO LONG AS IT MADE THEM LOOK RESPONSIBLE FOR 9-11.
天, 现在人人都知道了. AW MAN, NOW EVERYONE'S GONNA KNOW.
WHY DID THE STUPID HARDLY BOYS HAVE TO BE
为什么愚蠢的 Hardly Boys 总是善于解决谜案? SO GOOD AT SOLVING MYSTERIES ?
等等: Stan 在小便池里大便, 然后联系了911阴谋网站? SO, WAIT, WAIT-- STAN TOOK THE DUMP IN THE URINAL,
AND HE CONTACTED THE CONSPIRACY WEBSITE,
但是阴谋网站又是政府运营的? BUT THE CONSPIRACY SITE WAS RUN BY THE GOVERNMENT ?
对. YEAH.
那, 到底谁负责 9-11? SO THEN WHO WAS RESPONSIBLE FOR 9-11 !
WHAT'DYA MEAN ?
你什么意思? 一群混蛋穆斯林人. A BUNCH OF PISSED-OFF MUSLIMS.
对啊. 你怎么了, 傻B了? YEAH, WHAT ARE YOU, RETARDED ?
HA HA ! HA HA ! HA HA !
看起来这谜案是解决了. 轮到犯人被惩罚了! WELL, IT LOOKS LIKE THIS MYSTERY IS SOLVED !
IT'S TIME FOR THE CULPRIT TO FINALLY PAY.
你在小便池拉屎, 这不好 , m'kay! WHEN YOU DOOK IN THE URINAL, IT'S BAD, M'KAY ?
HOW WOULD YOU FEEL
你感觉怎样... 如果有人到你家, m'kay, IF SOMEBODY CAME INTO YOUR HOME, M'KAY,
PULLED DOWN THEIR PANTS
脱下他们的裤子, 在你妈面前留下大泥猴? AND LAID A BIG MUD MONKEY RIGHT ON YOUR MOM'S FACE ?
你认为很有意思, 呃? 是, 确实很有意思! OH, YOU THINK THAT'S FUNNY, HUH ?
YEAH, THAT'S REAL FUNNY !
字幕翻译: Bi11
YEAH I'M TOTALLY GETTING A CLUE.
OH, THAT'S GIVING ME A CLUE.
YEAH, I'VE GOT A RAGING CLUE RIGHT NOW.
MINE'S POINTING TO THE LEFT.
OH, FRANK, SERIOUSLY I HAVE SUCH A RAGING CLUE RIGHT NOW
I THINK WE BETTER FOLLOW IT.