-==http://www.1000fr.com==- 謦灵风软影视论坛荣誉出品 本字幕仅供学习交流，严禁用于商业用途
-=风软FRM字幕组=- 翻译: Misandry 校对: 梅斯云度
主演: 罗温·阿特金森 --- 黑爵士上尉 休·劳瑞 --- 乔治中尉 托尼·罗宾逊 --- 二等兵包里克 史蒂芬·弗莱 --- 梅棋将军 提姆·麦克纳尼 --- 宝贝儿上尉
编剧: 理查德·柯蒂斯 本·埃尔顿
黑爵士 第4季第2集 一只鸽子引发的血案
You'd like to book a table for three by the window
您想订供三人进餐的靠窗位子
for 9:30 pm,
在晚上9点半
not too near the band,
不能离乐队太近了
in the name of Obel-Ointment Fungentula?
以狗皮膏药公司的名义?
Yes, yes, I think you might have the wrong number.
好吧 好吧 但我想您拨错了电话
That's all right.
没有关系
Another crossed line, eh, sir?
又是电话窜线么 长官?
That phone system is a shambles,
电话系统实在混乱不堪
no wonder we haven't had any orders!
难怪我们没收到任何命令
On the contrary, George, we've had plenty of orders.
正相反 乔治 我们收到了成堆的订单 (order 既有命令 也有订单之义)
We have orders for six meters
我们这的订单有
of Hungarian crushed velvet curtain material,
六米匈牙利压花丝绒窗帘料
four rock salmon and a ha'pence of chips,
四条石鲑鱼和一个半便士的薯条
and a cab for a Mr. Redgrave,
还有替雷德格雷夫先生 预定的一辆马车
picking up from 14 Arnost Grove, Raintop Bell.
至亚诺树林车站14号站台接人 需得遮雨篷与铃铛俱全
Rather! We don't want those sort of orders,
算啦 我们才不要那类的订单
we want orders to deck old glory.
我们要的是能为家传之荣耀锦上添花的
When are we going to give Fritz a taste of our British spunk?
我们什么时候才让德国佬 尝到大不列颠精神的苦头?
George, please.
乔治 拜托
No one is more anxious to advance than I am,
没人能比我更迫不及待地想冲上前线
but until I get these communication problems sorted out,
但是 在我解决这些联络问题之前
I'm afraid we're stuck.
我只担心我们会因而受骗
Captain Blackadder speaking.
黑爵士上尉
No, I'm afraid the line's very cclllffffhhtttt!
不 我担心这条线路十分的…..
Hello? Hello, Captain Blackadder, hello?
喂? 喂 黑爵士上尉 喂?
Schnell, schnell, die koppeltop
I said there's a terrible line at my end.
我说 我这里的线路非常糟
You're to advance on the enemy at once.
你们马上对敌人发起进攻
Ppttttt...
# A wandering minstrel eye in the... #
流浪吟游诗人之眼被放于…
Gale Force Eight... imminent.
八级大风…即将到来
I say, sir, what's the message?
请问 长官 有什么消息?
I'm on tenterhooks, do tell!
我现在如坐针毡 快告诉我
Well, as far as I can tell, the message was,
据我所知 这条留言是
he's got a terrible lion up his end,
他那里有非常可怕的狮子
so there's an advantage to an enema at once.
所以马上实行灌肠很有好处
Damn!
妈的!
Message from HQ, sir.
总部来的消息 长官
Ah, now, this'll be it.
啊 终于是它了吧
A telegram ordering an advance!
下令进攻的电报!
Hmm, yes, I'm afraid not, George.
是么 恐怕并非如此哦 乔治
It "is" a telegram, it "is" ordering an advance,
这是封电报没错 它也确实下令进攻
but it seems to be addressed to someone called 'Catpain Blackudder'.
但它似乎是要送给叫做"黑骑士上尉"的人
Do you know a Catpain Blackudder, George?
你认识什么黑骑士上尉吗 乔治?
Well, it rings a bell, but I... no.
很耳熟啊 但是…没听过
- Nope, me neither. - Oh, well.
- 对 我也没听过 - 那好吧
Anyway, George, I'm sure if they want to contact us, they'll find a way.
总而言之 乔治 我敢肯定只要 他们想联系我们 那总能想出法子的
Pigeons, sir! There's a pigeon in our trench!
鸽子 长官 我们的战壕上站了只鸽子
Ah, now, this'll be it!
哦哦 这肯定是了
Yes, it's one of the King's carrier pigeons.
没错 这是国王的一只传信鸽
No, it isn't, that pigeon couldn't carry the King!
不可能 那么只鸽子载不起陛下的
Hasn't got a tray or anything.
它又没盘子啥的
Lieutenant, revolver, please.
中尉 请把手枪给我
Oh now, sir, you really shouldn't do this, you know!
哦 长官 你很清楚 真的不该这么做的
Come on, George, with 50,000 men getting killed a week,
得啦 乔治 每周被杀的人都有五万个
who's going to miss a pigeon?
谁会去怀念一只鸽子呢?
Well, not you, obviously, sir.
显然 肯定不会是您 长官
In any case, it's scarcely a court-martial offence.
无论如何 这根本就不构成军事重罪
Get plucking, Baldrick.
拿去拔毛 包里克
All right, sir.
是 长官
Look, it's got a little ring 'round its leg,
快看哪 它的腿上有个小戒指呢
there's a novelty!
真是新鲜!
Oh, really, is there a paper hat, as well?
是么 那还有一顶纸帽子不?
No, but there's a joke. Read it out, sir.
没有 但是写着个笑话呢 念出来吧 长官
It's a bit charred.
有点儿焦了
Something-something at once...
马上干吗干吗的…
P.S., due to communication crisis,
附注 由于通讯危机问题
the shooting of carrier pigeons is now a court-martial offence.
枪杀信鸽现被认定为军事重罪
I don't see what's funny about that, sir.
我看不出有什么可笑的 长官
It's not funny, it's deadly serious. We're in trouble.
完全不可笑 这极其严重 我们惹上大麻烦了
So I shall eat the evidence for lunch,
因此 我要把这证据作为午餐吃掉
and if anyone asks you any questions at all,
如果有人向你们提问
we didn't receive any messages
我们没有收到任何消息
and we definitely did not shoot this plump-breasted pigeon.
还有 我们也绝对未曾 射下过这只肥嘟嘟的美味鸽子
Umm... delicious.
嗯~~真是美味
Aye! Blackadder!
黑爵士!
Darling: Attention!
立正!
And why, Captain, are you not advancing
上尉 你为何没有向
across No Man's Land?
无人地带推进?
Well, sir, call me a bluffo traditionalist,
长官 称我为刻板的传统人士也罢
but I was always taught to wait
但我一直以来都被教导着
for the order to attack before attacking.
行动之前 务必先听从指令
Are you trying to tell me you haven't received any orders?
你是想告诉我 你从未收到过任何的命令?
What the hell are you playing at, Darling?
你他妈究竟在糊弄些什么 宝贝儿?
That's a blatant lie, sir.
这是弥天大谎 长官
I spoke to Blackadder less than an hour ago.
不到一小时前 我才刚与黑爵士通过话
Yes, you did.
没错
To tell me some gobbledygook about having a lion up your bottom.
只是为了打着官腔告诉我 你屁股底下有只狮子
Hmm, as I thought... it's the old communications problem again.
正如我所料…还是老一套的通讯问题
Stand easy.
稍息吧
Action on this is imperative. Take that down, Darling.
解决这一问题势在必行 记下来 宝贝儿
Also, make a note of the word gobbledygook.
并且 记录下官腔这个词
I like it.
我喜欢它
I want to use it more often in conversation.
我要在对话里频繁使用这词
I must say, sir, I find this all very unlikely.
长官 我必须告诉您 我认为此事极为不妥
Not only did I telephone Blackadder,
我不仅仅致电了黑爵士
but as you'll recall, we sent him a telegram and a carrier pigeon.
如您所知 我们还给他送去了 一份电报以及一只传信鸽
Did you?
是吗?
Are you telling us you haven't had a pigeon, Blackadder?
你想对我们说 你从未碰过一只鸽子么 黑爵士?
Um... Ahh...
Come on man, you must have done!
得啦 你肯定见到了的
I sent our top bird... Speckled Jim.
我派出了我们最棒的鸟儿 吉姆点点
My own true love, who's been with me since I was a nipper!
我唯一的挚爱 从我年少轻狂时代 就一直陪伴我左右
To business. I'm giving you your order to advance now.
谈正经事吧 我现在下令你们进攻
Synchronize watches, gentlemen.
先生们 开始对表
Private, what is the time?
士兵 现在是什么时间?
We didn't receive any messages,
我们没有收到任何消息
and Captain Blackadder definitely did not
而黑爵士上尉也绝对没有
shoot this delicious plump-breasted pigeon, sir.
射下这只肥嘟嘟的美味鸽子 长官
What!??
什么?!!
You want to be cremated, Baldrick, or buried at sea?
包里克 你是想被锉骨扬灰呢 还是被尸沉海底?
Umm...
- Ah, Lieutenant? - Sir.
- 中尉? - 长官
Do you mind answering a couple of questions?
你是否介意回答几个小问题呢?
Not at all, sir.
全然不介意 长官
We didn't get any messages,
我们没收到任何消息
and Captain Blackadder definitely did not shoot
而黑爵士上尉也绝对没射下
this delicious plump-breasted pigeon.
这只肥嘟嘟的美味鸽子
Thanks, George.
谢谢了 乔治
And look, sir, pigeon feathers... "white" feathers.
看哪 长官 鸽子羽毛呢… 洁白的羽毛
Very apt, eh, Blackadder?
非常聪明 啊 黑爵士?
White feathers?
洁白的羽毛?
Oh no, sir, that's gobbleyjook!
哦 不 长官 那是官腔说法
They're not white,
它们可不是洁白的
they're sort of speckly!
应该算是带着小点儿的
Speckly?!
小点儿?!
Aahhhhhhhh!
啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊
You shot my Speckled Jim??!!
你射下了我的吉姆点点??!!
You're for it now, Blackadder.
你将为此受到惩罚 黑爵士
Quite frankly, sir, I've suspected this for some time.
长官 无比坦白地说吧 我对此事其实早有疑心
Quite clearly, Captain Blackadder has been disobeying orders
显而易见的 黑爵士上尉曾以 一种惊人的鲁莽之举
with a breathtaking impertinence.
来违抗军令
I don't care if he's been rogering the Duke of York
我才不在意他是否从约克公爵那
with a prize-winning leek!
领取了获奖大葱
He shot my pigeon!!!
他枪杀了我的鸽子!!!
Aaahh-ahhhh-ooohhhh!
啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊
Take it easy, sir.
冷静点 长官
I think we should do this by the book, sir.
我认为我们该按 正规程序来处理此事 长官
Yes, yes, you're right, of course. I'm sorry.
没错 你说得很对 当然了 我很抱歉
Attention!
立正!
Captain Blackadder, as of this moment
黑爵士上尉 此时此刻
you may consider yourself under arrest.
你可以将自己当成阶下之囚了
You know what the penalty is for disobeying orders, Blackadder?
你该清楚违反军令的惩处吧 黑爵士?
Umm... court-martial,
上军事法庭
followed by immediate cessation of chocolate rations?
然后马上停止巧克力的配额供应?
No.
不
Court-martial followed by immediate death by firing squad.
上军事法庭 然后马上由枪决小队执行死刑
Oh, so I got it half right.
哦 至少我说对了一半
All saddled in and happy, are we then, sir?
一切都安置妥当 开心享受了么 长官?
Reining all our last goodbyes?
在准备所有的临终告别吗?
Oh, no need for that, Perkins,
哦 那毫无必要 伯金斯
I've just dashed off a couple of notes,
我刚才匆忙地寄出了几封信件
one asking for a sponge bag, and the other sending for my lawyer.
一封是要求送盥洗用具袋的 另外一封则是寄给我的律师
Oh, your lawyer, yes.
哦 您的律师 当然了
Don't you think that might be a bit of a waste of money, sir?
您难道不觉得那有点儿浪费金钱吗 长官?
Not when he's the finest mind in English legal history.
若他是大英帝国法律史上最杰出之人 那就完全不算浪费
Ever heard of Bob Massingbird?
听说过鲍勃·马辛博德之名吗?
Oh, yes indeed, sir! A most gifted gentleman!
当然了 先生 一位才华横溢的绅士
Quite. I remember Massingbird's most famous case,
不错 我仍能忆起马辛博德 那起最为出名的案件
the Case of the Bloody Knife.
血腥之刀一案
A man was found next to a murdered body,
在一具被杀尸体旁边逮住了某人
he had the knife in his hand,
他的手中持刀
thirteen witnesses had seen him stab the victim,
有13名证人亲眼目睹他刀捅受害人
and when the police arrived he said,
而且 在警方到达时他还声言
"I'm glad I killed the bastard."
"真高兴我终于杀了这狗杂种"
Massingbird not only got him off,
马辛博德不仅仅替他脱了罪
he got him knighted in the New Year's honours list,
甚至令他跻身新年荣誉榜单受封爵位
and the relatives of the victim
而受害者的亲属
had to pay to have the blood washed out of his jacket.
则不得不赔偿他洗去夹克上血迹 所花的洗衣费
And he's a dab hand at the prosecution, as well, sir.
而且他也是控方的老手呢 长官
Yes, well, look at Oscar Wilde.
是啊 看看奥斯卡·王尔德吧
Oh, butch Oscar.
哦 壮男奥斯卡
Exactly... big, bearded, bonking, butch Oscar,
非常正确…魁梧 胡须满面 惊天动地的 壮男奥斯卡
the terror of the ladies.
淑女们的恐慌之源
114 illegitimate children, world heavyweight boxing champion,
拥有114名私生子 世界重量级拳王
and author of the best-selling pamphlet,
还是畅销书的作者
Why I Like To Do It With Girls...
我为何喜欢与姑娘们厮混…
and Massingbird had him sent down for being a whoopsie.
而马辛博德使他降格成了一个可怜虫
Ah, Baldrick.
啊 包里克
- Anything from Mattingburg yet? - Yes, sir.
- 从马辛博德那带回什么东西没? - 是的 长官
It just arrived, sir.
刚刚送达 长官
- What is it? - Sponge bag, sir.
- 这是什么? - 是盥洗用具袋 长官
- A sponge bag? - Yes, sir.
- 盥洗用具袋? - 是的 长官
Baldrick, I gave you two notes.
包里克 我给了你两封信
You sent the note asking for a sponge bag
你将要求盥洗用具袋的那一封
to the finest mind in English legal history.
送到了大英帝国法律史上 最杰出人士的手中
Certainly did, sir!
确实如此 长官
And you sent the note requesting legal representation to... ?
而你把请求法律代表的信送给了…?
Well, tally-ho, with a bing and a bong and a buzz-buzz-buzz!
呦嗬 乒零乓啷 $#%$^
Oh, God
天哪
I'll tell you first of all, sir,
长官 首先请容许我告诉你
that I am deeply, deeply honoured.
我有多么多么的荣幸
Baldrick, I'll deal with you later.
包里克 一会儿我再修理你
Am I to understand that you are going to represent me
我只能认为 你将会代表我
at the court-martial?
出席军事法庭吗?
Absolutely, sir. It's a sort of family tradition.
自是如此 长官 这有点类似于家族传统
My uncle's a lawyer, you know.
我的叔叔就是个律师
Your uncle's a lawyer, but you're not.
你叔叔是律师 但你可不是
Oh, good Lord, no.
感谢上帝 幸好不是
I'm an absolute duffer at this sort of thing.
我对这码子事完全一窍不通
In the school debating society,
在学校的辩论会上
I was voted the boy least likely
我被评选为 最不可能
to complete a coherent... um...
说完连贯…呃…
Sentence?
句子?
That's it, yes.
就是那个 没错
But anyway, my dear old friend,
但总而言之 我亲爱的老朋友
it's an honor to serve.
此事实为我之荣幸
George, I'm in deep trouble here.
乔治 我现在身陷泥沼
I need to construct a case
我需要的是一个
that's as watertight as a mermaid's brassiere.
如美人鱼胸罩般滴水不漏的案子
I'm not sure your particular brand of mindless optimism
我无法肯定你那标志性的愚蠢乐观主义
is going to contribute much to the proceedings.
在此法律程序中能起到多大作用
That's a shame, sir, because I was planning
那可真是羞辱呢 长官 因为我已全盘计划好
on playing the mindless optimism card very strongly during your trial.
如何在你的审讯过程中打好 我手中这张愚蠢乐观主义的牌了
I beg your pardon?
请问你说什么?
Yes, I've already
是的 我已经
planned my closing address based on that very theme.
基于这一主题拟定好我的结案词了
Oh, go on, let him off, your Honour, please!
拜托 放了他吧 法官大人 拜托你了
After all, it's a lovely day.
毕竟 今天是个好日子
Pretty clouds, trees, birds, et cetera.
白云朵朵 绿树成荫 小鸟歌唱 等等等等
I rest my case.
我陈词结束
So, Counsel, with that summing up in mind,
那么 辩护律师先生 在如此计算之下
what do you think my chances are?
您以为我的机会有多大呢?
Well, not all that good, I'm afraid,
恐怕并不乐观
as far as I can tell, you're as guilty as a puppy sitting next to a pile of poo.
据我看来 您现在就如同狗狗蹲在 一泡粪便旁边那般的罪证确凿
Charming.
很有趣
Crikey! So sorry I'm late, my love.
唉呀! 真抱歉我迟到了 亲爱的
But anyway, let me open my defence straightaway
但是 无论如何 请让我 开门见山地叙述我的辩词
by saying that I've known this man for three years,
从我已与此人结识了三年有余开始
he's an absolutely corking chap...
他绝对是个非常棒的…
- George? - Yes, sir?
- 乔治? - 什么 长官?
- That's the clerk of the court. - Is it? Oh!
- 那位是法庭书记员 - 是吗? 哦
We haven't started yet.
我们还没开庭呢
- Good luck, Blackadder. - Well, thank you, Darling.
- 祝你好运哪 黑爵士 - 谢谢你了 宝贝儿
And what's your big job here today?
你今天的重责大任是什么呢?
Straightening chairs?
摆放椅子吗?
No, in fact I'm appearing for the prosecution.
不 实际上我是作为公诉人出庭的
I wouldn't raise your hopes too much.
我不会留给你太多希望的
You're guilty as hell, you haven't got a chance.
你罪大恶极 完全没有机会
Why, thank you, Darling.
谢谢你了 宝贝儿
And I hope your mother dies in a freak yachting accident.
我希望你的母亲会在一次 奇异的游艇事故中身亡
Just doing my job, Blackadder.
我只是在尽本分 黑爵士
Obeying orders, and, of course, having enormous fun into the bargain.
服从命令 当然了 亦可由此获得莫大的愉悦
I wouldn't be too confident if I were you.
如果是我处于你的位置 可不会那么自信满满
Any reasonably impartial judge is bound to let me off.
任何一位公正而有理智的法官 都会让我无罪释放
Well, absolutely.
当然了
Who is the judge, by the way?
顺便问一句 法官是谁?
Bailiff!
法警!
I'm dead.
我死定了
Well, come on, then. Come on.
快 快坐下吧
We'll get this over in five minutes,
五分钟内我们就能解决此事
and then we can have a spot of lunch.
接着就可以在午餐时痛饮几杯了
Right... oohh... ahhh.
不错不错
The court is now in session,
现在开庭
General Sir Anthony Cecil Hogmenay Melchett in the chair.
安东尼·塞西尔·霍梅尼·梅琪爵士将军主审
The case before us Is that of the Crown vs. Captain Edmund Blackadder...
此案乃是皇家法庭对爱德蒙·黑爵士上尉之控诉
the Flanders pigeon murderer!
佛兰德斯杀鸽者
Oh, clerk, hand me the black cap, I'll be needing that.
书记员 把黑帽子给我 待会儿我用得上 (法官在宣判死刑时才戴的)
I love a fair trial.
我爱公平审判
Anything to say before we kick off, Captain Darling?
在我们直奔主题前 有什么要说的吗 宝贝儿上尉?
May it please the court.
多谢法官大人
As this is clearly an open and shut case,
由于此案的一目了然之程度
I beg leave to bring a private prosecution against the defence counsel
我请求允许对辩方律师提出私人控诉
for wasting the court's time.
以浪费法庭时间之罪名
Granted. The defence counsel is fined fifty pounds for turning up.
批准 辩方律师要为提出此案受罚50镑
This is fun! This is just like a real court!
这真是有趣!简直就跟真的上庭似的!
All right! Let the trial begin!
好了! 开始审讯!
The charge before us
我们所面对的控诉
is that the Flanders pigeon murderer... did deliberately,
乃是该佛兰德斯杀鸽者别有用心地
callously, and with beastliness of forethought
残忍无情地 并经过事先的兽性策划
murder a lovely, innocent pigeon!
谋杀了一只天真可爱的鸽子!
And disobeyed some orders as well.
也违抗了几条命令
Is this true?
所述正确吗?
Perfectly true, sir! I was there.
完全正确 长官! 我就在现场
Thanks, George.
多谢了 乔治
Oh, damn!
噢 该死!
Right. Counsel for the defence, get on with it.
行了 辩方律师 继续吧
Oh, right, yes, right.
哦 对 对 好的
Um, yes. I'd like to call my first witness,
是 我要传唤我的第一位证人
Captain Darling.
宝贝儿上尉
You wish to call the counsel for the prosecution
你想传唤控方律师
as a defence witness?
作为辩方证人?
That's right.
完全正确
Don't worry, sir, I've got it all under control.
别担心 长官 一切尽在我掌握之中
Ahem. You are Captain Darling of the general staff?
嗯哼 你就是总参谋部的宝贝儿上尉吗?
I am.
是的
Captain, leaving aside the incident in question,
上尉 先不考虑对此事件的疑问
would you think of Captain Blackadder as the sort of man
你认为黑爵士上尉是那种
who would usually ignore orders?
会经常无视命令的人吗?
Yes, I would.
是 我会的
Ah, um. You sure?
呃 你确定吗?
I was rather banking on you saying "no" there.
我现在指望着你说个 不 字呢
I'm sure.
我很肯定
In fact, I have a list of other orders he's disobeyed,
实际上 我还有一份他所违抗的 其他命令的清单
if it would be useful.
预备着以防万一
Mm-hmm.
May 16th, 9:15 am, 10:23 am, 10:24 am,
五月十六日 上午9点15分 上午10点23分 上午10点24分
11:17 am...
上午11点17分…
You missed one out there.
你这里漏念了一个
...10:30 am... thank you... 11:46 am...
上午10点30分…谢谢… 上午11点46分…
- George! - Oh, oh, ye-ye... right.
- 乔治! - 哦 对对…是
Thank you, Captain.
谢谢你 上尉
No further questions.
我没有问题了
Well done, George.
干得好 乔治
You really had him on the ropes.
你的套话策略很见效
Don't worry, old man.
别担心 老家伙
I have a last and, I think you'll find, decisive witness.
我还有最后一个 你所能找到的 起决定性作用的证人
Call Private Baldrick.
传唤二等兵包里克
Call Private Baldrick.
传唤二等兵包里克
Deny everything, Baldrick.
否认一切 包里克
Are you Private Baldrick?
你是二等兵包里克吗?
No!
不是!
Um, but you are Captain Blackadder's batman?
呃 你是黑爵士上尉的勤务员吗?
No!
不是!
Come on, Baldrick., be a bit more helpful, it's me!
行了 包里克 有点儿用行不 是我啊
No, it isn't!
不 不是你
Sir, I must protest!
长官 我必须反对
Quite right!
非常正确
We don't need your kind here, Private. Get out.
我们这不需要你 士兵 出去吧
Now, George, sum up, please.
现在 乔治 请做总结陈词吧
Oh, right, yes, uhhhh...
哦 对 对 呃…
Ah, gentlemen,
啊 先生们
you have heard all the evidence presented before you today,
你们均已聆听了今日 呈在你们面前的证据
but in the end, it is up to the conscience
但在最后 做出决定的
of your hearts to decide.
仍然是您的良知
And I firmly believe, that, like me,
我无比坚定地相信 如我一般
you will conclude that Captain Blackadder
你们将推断出 黑爵士上尉
is in fact, totally and utterly... guilty.
其绝对 彻底地…有罪
...of nothing more...
…之程度其实不过…
...than trying to do his duty under difficult circumstances.
试图在艰难环境中完成其应尽义务而已
Nonsense! He's a hound and a rutter, and he's going to be shot!
胡说八道! 他就是条疯狗 就是个无赖 他必须要被枪毙
However, before we proceed
不过 在我们继续…
to the formality of sentencing the deceased...
宣判程序之前…那位死者…
I mean the defendant...
我是指被告…
I think we'd all rather enjoy hearing the case of the prosecution.
我想 大家都很乐意听听 公诉人方面的说法
Captain Darling, if you please.
宝贝儿上尉 劳你发言
Sir, my case is very simple.
长官 我的诉讼非常简单
I call my first witness,
我要传唤第一位证人
General Sir Anthony Cecil Hogmaney Melchett.
安东尼·塞西尔·霍梅尼·梅琪爵士将军
Ah! Umm!
Clever. Clever!
聪明! 真聪明!
General, did you own a lovely,
将军 你是否拥有一只可爱
plump, speckily pigeon
肥嘟嘟 斑点羽毛的鸽子
called Speckled Jim,
名为吉姆点点
which you hand-reared from a chick
它由您自襁褓起一手带大
and which was your only childhood friend?
是您童年时代唯一的朋友?
Yes!
是的!
Yes, I did.
是的 没错!
And did Captain Blackadder shoot the aforementioned pigeon?
是黑爵士上尉枪杀了 上述所提的那只鸽子吗?
Yes, he did!
没错 他杀了!
Can you see Captain Blackadder
在此刻的法庭上
anywhere in this courtroom?!
你能否指出哪个是黑爵士上尉?
That's him!!!
就是他!!!
That's the man!! Ahhhh!!!
就是那个人!!! 啊啊!!
No more questions, sir.
我问完了 长官
Splendid, excellent, first-class.
精彩! 绝妙! 一流啊!
Clear the way, man.
让个路 伙计
I therefore have absolutely no hesitation
因此 我将毫不迟疑地
in announcing that the sentence of this court is that you,
宣布法庭对你的审判
Captain Edmund Blackadder,
爱德蒙·黑爵士上尉
be taken from this place and suffer death
带离此处后 于明天凌晨
by shooting tomorrow at dawn.
执行枪决
Do you have anything to say?
你还有什么话要说吗?
Yes, could I have an alarm call, please?
有的 请问 我能要个闹钟吗?
Chap here to see the captain.
有人来探望上尉你了
What does he look like?
什么模样的?
Short, ugly...
既矮又丑…
Hello, Baldrick.
好啊 包里克
I brought you some food, sir,
我给你带了些食物来 长官
for your final breakfast tomorrow.
作为你明天最后的早餐
Ah, so you're not pinning much hope on a last-minute reprieve, then.
啊 看来你并没对临刑前的缓刑抱有指望嘛
No sir, you are as dead as some doo-doos.
没有 长官 你已经和多多鸟一样死挺了
The expression, Baldrick, is "as a dodo"...
包里克 那种表述是 和渡渡鸟一样…
Dead as a dodo.
和渡渡鸟一样死透了
Well, I'll leave you to it then, shall I?
我就留你们俩细谈吧
Do not despair, sir.
别绝望 长官
All my talk of food was just a dead herring.
我所说的食物不过是一条死青鱼罢了
In fact, I have a cunning plan.
实际上 我有个巧妙的计划
This is not food, but an escape kit.
这里不是食物 而是成套的逃生工具
Good Lord!
感谢上帝!
With a saw, a hammer, a chisel, a gun,
只要有一把锯子 一柄锤子 一把凿子 一把枪
a change of clothes, a Swiss passport,
改装用的衣服 一份瑞士护照
and a huge false moustache, I may just stand a chance.
再加上一抹假胡子 我或许还有机会
Ah.
Let's see, what have we here?
让我们看看这都有啥吧
A small painted wooden duck.
一只上漆的小木头鸭子
Yeah, I thought if you get caught near water,
是的 我想 如果你在水边被追赶的话
you can balance it on the top of your head
你就可以把它顶在头上
as a brilliant disguise.
作为一种绝妙的掩饰
Yeeeesss.
是…..啊….
I would, of course, have to escape first.
当然 我必须得先逃出去
Ah, but what's this?
这是什么?
Unless I'm much mistaken, a hammer and a chisel.
除非是我大错特错 一把锤子和一把凿子
You are much mistaken!
你确实大错特错了!
A pencil and a miniature trumpet.
铅笔和玩具喇叭
Yes, a pencil so you can drop me a postcard
是的 有了铅笔 你才好寄明信片给我
to tell me how the break-out went,
告诉我越狱的进展如何
and a small little tiny miniature trumpet
这个小小的玩具喇叭
in case, during your escape,
是为万一 在你的逃狱途中
you have to win favour with a difficult child.
你得去讨某个别扭孩子的欢心
Baldrick, I don't want to spend my last precious hours
包里克 我可不想把自己仅剩的珍贵时间
rummaging through this feeble collection of stocking-fillers.
浪费在检点这些零碎的圣诞小礼物之上
Let me ask you some simple questions:
我来问你几个简单的问题
Is there a saw in this bag? - No.
- 包里有锯子吗? - 没有
- A hammer? - No.
- 锤子? - 没有
- A chisel? - No.
- 凿子? - 没有
- A gun? - No.
- 枪? - 没有
A false passport?
伪造护照?
No.
没有
A change of clothes?
变装衣物?
Yes sir, of course, I wouldn't forget a change of clothes.
有的 长官 我怎么会忘记改装用的衣服呢
Ah, well, that's something. Let's see...
啊 这倒不错 我来看看…
A Robin Hood costume.
罗宾汉装束
Yeah, I put in a French peasant's outfit first,
是的 起初我放的是法国农民装束
But then I thought, what if you arrive in
但我马上想到 如果您抵达了
in a French peasant's village
一处法国农民的村庄
and they're in the middle of a fancy dress party? '
而他们正好在举行化装舞会怎么办?
And what if I arrive in a French peasant village,
那么 如果我抵达了一处法国农庄
dressed in a Robin Hood costume
打扮成罗宾汉
and there "isn't" a fancy dress party?
而那里并没举行化装舞会呢?
Well, to be quite frank sir,
呃 老实说吧 长官
I didn't consider that eventuality,
我完全没考虑过那种可能性
because if you did, you'd stick out like a...
因为 如果那样的话 你的引人注目程度就会像…
Like a man standing in a lake
就像一个站在湖里的人
with a small painted wooden duck on his head?
头上顶着一只上漆的小木头鸭子?
Exactly!
太对了!
Excuse me, sir.
打扰了 先生
All right, um, thank you, Baldrick,
好吧 谢谢你 包里克
we'll finish this picnic later.
我们过会儿再结束这次野餐吧
Yum yum!
美味啊 美味!
Do you mind if I disturb you for a moment, sir?
介意我占用你几分钟时间吗 长官？
No, no, not at all.
不 不 完全不介意
My diary's pretty empty this week.
我的日程这周可是彻底空白
Let's see, Thursday morning, get shot...
看看啊 周四早晨 被枪毙…
Yes, that's about it, actually.
没错 就是那样
It's just there's a few chaps out here
外面有几个人在等着
希望能与您聊聊天
would like a bit of a chinwag.
真贴心 我们永远都乐于认识新朋友
Oh, lovely. Always keen to meet new people.
琼斯下士
Corporal Jones,
二等兵弗雷泽·罗宾孙和提普威克
and Privates Frazier, Robinson, and Tipperwick.
你好
Hello.
感谢各位好心光临
Well, nice of you to drop by.
诸位所为何来?
And what do you do?
我们是你的行刑小队 长官
We're your firing squad, sir.
你们当然是了
Of course you are.
- 好广阔的胸膛啊 - 闭嘴 家伙
- Good sized chest. - Shut up, lad.
您看 我们这个行刑小队 有点儿像收税官
You see, us firing squads are a bit like tax men, sir,
每个人都讨厌我们
everyone hates us,
可我们不过是在尽自己本分 不是么?
but we're just doin' our job, ain't we, lads?
我的心在为你们流血
My heart bleeds for you.
长官 我们会兴奋地瞄准的
Well, sir, we aim to please.
只是枪刑队的一个小笑话 长官
Just a little firing squad joke there, sir!
你看 长官
You see, sir,
我们为自己提供的 这一送终服务而感到自豪
we take pride in the terminatory service we supply.
所以 有什么地方是你 特别希望我们瞄准的呢 ?
So, is there any particular area you'd like us to go for, hmm?
我们可以瞄准任何地方
We can aim anywhere.
若是那样的话
Well, in that case,
我的头顶上方倒不失为一处好地方
just above my head might be a good spot.
你看吧 开心微笑一下
You see, a laugh and a smile,
突然间这份工作
and all of a sudden the job doesn't seem
就不觉得那么糟糕了 是吧 长官?
quite so bad after all, does it, sir?
不 这真是可爱饱满的前额啊
No, it's a lovely roomy forehead.
这还有十分具活力的颈动脉和静脉呢
A good pulse and jugular there as well.
听着 我很抱歉 我明白你们是为表示友好而来
Look, I'm sorry, I know you mean to be friendly,
但我希望你们不会将此曲解为 我要求你们滚开去死
but I hope you won't take it amiss if I ask you to sod off and die.
不 不 不 不 不 不 很公平的
No, no, no, no, no, no, fair enough,
当然不会 长官
'course not, sir.
谁都不喜欢一大早起来就吃枪子儿 不是么?
No one likes being shot first thing in the morning, do they?
那么 期待与您明天见了 长官
So, look forward to seeing you tomorrow, sir.
当然你会被蒙上眼罩
You'll have a blindfold on of course,
不过你仍能认出我的
but you'll recognize me.
我是那个下令 准备 瞄准 开枪 的人
I'm the one that says, "Ready, aim, fire! "
我是否能请求你
Could I ask you to leave a pause
在 瞄准 和开枪 二词之间来个停顿?
between the word "aim" and the word "fire"?
停那么20到40年 如何?
Thirty or forty years, perhaps?
希望我能中断 长官 我还真希望我能做到
Ah, wish I could pause, sir, I really wish I could,
可我无法自制 因为我是个饶舌子
but I can't, you see, 'cos I'm a gabbler, you see.
预备瞄准开枪!
Ready-aim-fire!
毫无风格技巧可言
No style, no finesse...
但这非常管用 不是么? 走吧 伙计们
But it gets the job done, don't it, lads? Come on, lads.
谁的子弹离那颗痣最近的 就可以拿走他的金牙
Whoever gets closest to the mole gets to keep his gold teeth.
- 晚安 长官 - 睡个好觉 长官
- Good night, sir. - Sleep well, sir.
真不错
Perfect!
我估计茫茫人世间 无处可寻能令我更为低落之物了
I wonder if anything on earth could depress me more?
打扰了 长官?
Excuse me, sir?
毋庸置疑 确有此物
Of course it could.
我忘记把乔治中尉的信转交给您了 长官
I forgot to give you this letter from Lieutenant George, sir.
啊啊! 一大乐事呢!
Ahh! Oh, joy!
这位世上最伟大的辩护律师 又将给我寄来怎样的妙语呢?
What wise words from the world's greatest defence counsel?
亲爱的妈妈…
Dear Mother...
嗯 非同一般的开头啊
Hmm, unusual start.
多亏了你的苏格兰威士忌
Thanks for the case of Scotch.
你已经超越自我了 包里克
You've excelled yourself, Baldrick.
你再一次地送错了信
You've brought the wrong letter again.
哦 对的 他确实写了两封呢
Ohh yeah, he did write two.
没错 他那可怜的母亲 即将收到这样一封信
Yes, his mother's about to get a note
信中他将对她倾诉自己对于 她明早被枪决一事是如何的遗憾
telling her he's sorry she's going to be shot in the morning,
与此同时的我 则被迫阅读这篇胡言乱语
while I have to read this drivel.
热切希望希利亚能在 小马俱乐部试炼中茁壮成长
Hope Celia thrives in the pony club trials,
还有"小弗雷迪在第一次板球 比赛中获得一百分"
and that "little Freddy scores a century for the first eleven".
你无法否认 这委实是篇诱人的好读物
You can't deny, it's a riveting read.
"请向鲁伯特叔叔转达我的问候
Uhhh, "Send my love to Uncle Rupert,
谁能想到呢 疯狂的鲁伯特叔叔 竟成了作战部长
who'd have thought it, mad Uncle Rupert, Minister of War
手握对军中每一个恶心士兵的生杀大权
with power of life and death over every bally soldier in the army.
等一下…就是这个
Hang on a minute... This is it!
乔治只需给他发个电报
All George has to do is send him a telegram
他就能释放了我
and he'll get me off.
包里克 我爱你!
Baldrick, I love you!
我要亲吻你那樱桃小嘴
I want to kiss your cherry lips
轻啃你如贝壳般小巧圆润的耳朵
and nibble your shell-like ears!
我自由啦!!
I'm freeeee!
我好没用! 太没用了!
I'm useless, useless!
长官 长官!
Sir, sir!
你好 下士 上尉如何了?
Hello Private, how's the captain?
他的情况绝对良好 长官 不过…
He's absolutely fine, sir, but...
你只是想令我振奋精神 我了解的
You're just trying to cheer me up. I know the truth.
他恨我 因为我愚蠢地搞砸了他的辩护
He hates me because I completely arsed up his defence.
是 我了解 长官…
Yes, I know, sir...
因为我是如此笨拙
Because I'm thick, you see.
我就如精装版的
I'm as thick as the big-print version
查尔斯·狄更斯全集一般笨重非常
of the complete works of Charles Dickens.
我要是能救他就好了! 只要如此!
If only I could've saved him. If only!
但是你能的 长官
But you can, sir.
什么 怎么做?
What, how?
你发一份电报
You send a telegram.
当然了!我去发一份电报!
Of course! I send a telegram!
没错!
Yeah!
- 发给谁? - 发给信里提到的那个人
- Who to? - To the person in the letter.
- 什么信? - 寄给你母亲的
- What letter? - To your mother.
我给我母亲发一份电报?!
I send a telegram to my mother?!
- 不! - 不!
- No! - No!
你给在你母亲的信里 提到的那位人士发封电报
You send a telegram to the person in the letter to your mother.
写给我母亲的信里提到了谁?
Who was in the letter to my mother?
我记不起来了!
I can't remember!
- 那就 回想 想! - 不 由你来 回想 想!
- Well, think, think! - No, "you" think think!
希利亚 当然了 小马俱乐部试练啊
Celia, of course! The pony club trials... yes!
希利亚可以跳过监狱围墙 救他出去
Celia could leap over the walls of the prison and save him!
不 不!
No, no!
不 不 呃…板球!
No, no, um... cricket!
没错 我还提到了弗雷迪表弟 当然当然
Yes, I've got Cousin Freddie, of course.
他可以用他的球棒将枪刑小队统统击倒
He could knock out the firing squad with his cricket bat!
不 是其他的人!
No, there's someone else!
- 那 是谁?! - 我不知道!
- Well, who?! - I don't know!
- 我也不知道! - 那就快想 想!
- Well, neither do I! - Well, think, think!
- 要你想 长官! 重击 对! - 我思路堵塞!(stuck 有被打的意思)
- "You think," sir! - I'm stuck!
- 不 那毫无作用 - 有用 长官
- No, it hasn't helped. - Yes it has, sir.
您的鲁伯特叔叔刚刚就任作战部长
Your Uncle Rupert who's just been made Minister of War.
太对了
Of course!
鲁伯特叔叔刚刚就任作战部长
Uncle Rupert's just been made the Minister of War!
包里克 我要…我要给他发封电报
Baldrick, I'll, I'll send him a telegram
他就能在暗中运筹帷幄 给后背抓抓痒痒
and he'll pull strings and scratch backs
再活动一下他的鸡巴 然后就能把上尉释放了
and fiddle with knobs, and get the captain off!
万岁!
Hurray!
我终于做到了 是吧 包里克?
Well, I got there in the end, eh Baldrick?
正是如此 长官
Oh, just about, sir.
我觉得这值得好好庆祝一场 不是吗?
I think this calls for a celebration, don't you?
来一杯老酒如何?
What about a tot of Old Morehen's Shredded Sporum,
是我妈妈刚刚送来的
which Mummsy's just sent over?
我认为该敬
I think a toast, don't you,
黑爵士上尉和自由一杯 你说呢?
to Captain Blackadder and freedom!
敬黑爵士上尉和自由 长官
Captain Blackadder and freedom, sir.
- 早安 - 早安 长官
- 'Morning. - 'Morning, sir.
我必须得说 上尉 我十分钦佩你的胆量
I must say, Captain, I've got to admire your balls.
晚点再说
Perhaps later.
那么各位 你们好吗?
So boys, how are you doing?
非常好 很好
Very well, good.
- 罗宾逊 很高兴看到你 - 我也很高兴见到您 长官
- Robinson, good to see you. - Good to see you, too, sir.
啊 下士 你的嗓音如何?
Ah, Corporal, how's the voice?
状态极佳 长官
Excellent, sir.
预备瞄准射击
Ready-aim-fire!
等一下 等我真喊
Wait for it, "wait" for it.
那么 电话机放好了吗 伯金斯?
So the phone's on the hook, isn't it, Perkins?
是的 长官
Oh yes, sir.
那么 你们要我站哪呢?
So, where do you want me?
传统习惯是靠墙而站 长官
Well, up against the wall is traditional, sir.
当然
Of course it is.
呃 是这边还是另外那边?
Ah, this side or the other side?
没有信差等着么 伯金斯?
No messengers waiting, Perkins?
恐怕没有呢 长官
Oh, I'm afraid not, sir.
很好 非常好
Fair enough, fair enough.
好了 伙计们 整队
All right, lads, line up.
好吧 呃…
Yes, ahh...
听着 我认为这里头 有那么一点的小误会
Now, look, I think there's a bit of a misunderstanding,
你们看 我正等待着一封电报
you see, I was expecting a telegram.
各就各位!
Attention!
说真的 是非常重要的一封
An important one, actually.
瞄准!
Take aim!
住手!
Stop!
我想这正是所谓的 千钧一发
I think that's what they call 'The nick of time'.
给你的信 上尉
Message for you, Captain.
当然是我的 请读一下
Of course it is. Read it, please.
在此处看着您
Here's looking at you.
枪刑小队全体人员向您致意
Love from all the boys in the firing squad.
你这心软的小贱人 你!
You soft bastards, you!
我看到了贺卡 我抵抗不了那种诱惑
I saw the card, I couldn't resist it.
多么贴心啊!
How thoughtful!
各就位!
Attention!
听着 一定有什么事情出大错了
Now, look, something has gone spectacularly, badly wrong.
瞄准!
Take aim!
包里克 你这垃圾
Baldrick, you're mincemeat!
Corporal: f...
噢 我的头!
Oh, my head!
噢 我的头啊!
Oh, my head!
就像我在剑桥被诱加入 那个傻瓜鸡奸者社团的时候
Feels like the time I was initiated into the Silly Buggers Society at Cambridge.
我听错了指示
I misheard the rules
把一整根茄子塞进了我的耳洞
and pushed a whole oberjing into my earhole.
请求让我死 长官
Permission to die, sir.
可...可…可…这次滥饮是因何而起的?
Bu-bu-bu-what started this drinking?
是的 我们正在庆祝
Oh, yes, well, we were celebrating
让黑爵士上尉重获自…由
getting Captain Blackadder off scot-f-f-f-free.
哦 我的神圣之裤 我们竟忘了
Oh, my sainted trousers, we forgot!
Oh, whoops.
哦 不!
Oh, no!
他现在死了 他死了 死了 死了!
Now he's dead, you see. He's dead dead dead,
就因为我俩是一对极其自私的啥啥来着!
because we're a pair of selfish so-and-so's!
天啊 要是我能有条绳子
Oh, God, if I had a rope,
我就要用它缠绕住我的脖子 狠狠地将我自己吊起
I'd put it around my neck and bally-well hang myself
直到真正痛苦为止
until it "really" hurt.
嗨 乔治 早安 包里克
Hi, George. 'Morning, Baldrick.
仍然与待喂食的孔雀鱼 有如此惊人的相似之处啊
Still the striking resemblance to guppies fish at feeding time.
没错 千钧一发之际它送到了
Yep, it arrived in the nick of time.
太棒了!
Oh, excellent!
你们俩把苏格兰威士忌给喝光了 是吧?
Ah, so you've got the Scotch out, anyway?
是呢 是呢 当然了 先生
Oh, well, well, of course, sir,
我们只是想为您的平安归来 好好庆祝一番
We wanted to lay on a bit of a bash for your safe return.
给您
Ah... here you go.
实际上 乔治 还有第二封电报接踵而来
There was a second telegram that arrived actually, George,
是你叔叔指名给你的私人电报
addressed to you personally by your uncle.
哦 谢谢 我…
Oh, thank you, I...
乔治 我的孩子
George, my boy,
看到那个蠢货梅棋对你那位
outraged to read in dispatches
可敬可亲的黑爵士进行军事审判 过程中所做出的白痴行径
of how that ass Melchett made such a pigs-ear
我感到怒火冲天
of your chum Blackadder's court-martial.
立即改正了原有判决
Have reversed the decision forthwith.
说实在的 对于你竟没亲自拜托我做此事 我感到万分的惊讶
Surprised you didn't ask me to do it yourself, actually.
真是有趣呢 不是么?
Now this is interesting, isn't it?
是的 呃 你看 长官 事情是…
Uh, uh, yes, well, you see, sir, the thing is...
你们俩昨晚被痛打了 是么?
You two got whammed last night, didn't you?
呃 呃 不 并不是被 痛打
Well, well, no, not "whammed" exactly.
可能是有点儿微醺
A little tiddly, perhaps.
然后你忘记了给你的叔叔发电报!
And you forgot the telegram to your uncle!
哦 不不不不
Well, n-n-n-no,
不 不是完全的…我是说…呃 有一点…
not, not, completely, I mean, um, partially...
呃…是 是的…完全忘了
Umm... well... Yes, yes, entirely.
我想我可以解释的 长官
I think I can explain, sir.
你能么 包里克?
Can you, Baldrick?
不能
No.
正如我所料
As I suspected.
如你们所知 我并非一个虔诚信仰宗教的人
Now, I'm not a religious man, as you know,
但从今往后 我将每夜都向上帝
but henceforth, I shall nightly pray to the God
就是杀死该隐 压烂了参孙的那位
that killed Cain and squashed Samson,
祈祷他能自退隐中回归
that he comes out of retirement
回来拿你们俩去试试手
and gets back into practice on the pair of you!
黑爵士上尉
Captain Blackadder.
啊 宝贝儿上尉
Ah, Captain Darling.
你知道的 只是我们里头有人 正好有几个身居高位的朋友
Well, you know, some of us just have friends in high places,
我想是的
I suppose.
是的 我听得非常清楚
Yes, I can hear you perfectly.
要什么?
You want what?
你需要两名志愿者去执行 侵入无人地带的任务…
You want two volunteers for a mission into No Man's Land...
代号 必死之战
Code name: Operation Certain Death.
是的 是的 我正好有这些人呢
Yes, yes, I think I have just the fellows.
这年头 报应来得实在是快
God is very quick these days.
风软FRM字幕组作品 -==http://www.1000fr.com==- 欢迎加入