你好 我是道格 很抱歉我现在不能接电话 You've reached Doug. Sorry I missed your call.
请留下姓名和号码 我会尽快回复 Please leave a name and number and I'll get back to you.
你好 我是首席牙医斯图亚特·普瑞斯 Hi, you've reached Dr. Stuart Price with Divine Dentistry.
请在响声后留言 Please leave a message after...
嗨 我是菲尔 留不留言随便你 Hey, this is Phil.
留不留言随便你 拜托 别给我发短信 我讨厌短信 Leave me a message or don't. Do me a favor, don't text me. It's gay.
-怎么了 -每个电话我都打了 - Anything? - I tried them all.
可都是留言信箱 It keeps going straight to voicemail.
他们应该说一声的 Well, there has to be an explanation.
宝贝 那可是维加斯 一进赌场就没有时间的概念了 Sweetie, it's Vegas. You lose track of time in casinos.
那没有窗户 连块表都没有 他也许坐在暖气边上 There's no windows, there's no clocks. He's probably on a heater.
你要是坐在暖气边上就不想动了 And you never walk away from the table when you're on a heater.
都要结婚的人了 还会那么干吗? You do if you're getting married.
-你好 -崔西 我是菲尔 - Hello? - Ahem, Tracy, it's Phil.
菲尔 你们死哪去了 Phil, where the hell are you guys?
我要发火了 I'm freaking out.
听我说... Yeah, listen.
我们搞砸了 We fucked up.
-什么意思 -昨晚有个单身派对 我们玩了个通宵 - What are you talking about? - The bachelor party, the whole night. It...
但这次有点玩大了 Things got out of control, uh...
我们把道格弄丢了 ...and we lost Doug.
-什么 -道格不见了 - What? - We can't find Doug.
菲尔 有没有搞错 婚礼就剩5个小时了 What are you saying, Phil? We're getting married in five hours.
是啊 Yeah.
事情本不该这样的 That's not gonna happen.
往左一点 To my left a little.
谢谢 Thank you.
搞定 Okey-dokey.
-你干毛呢! -艾伦 他只是想量一下裤线 - Whoa, watch it, pervert! - Alan, he's just doing your inseam.
-他都快量到我的老二了 -好了 你可以动了 - He's getting very close to my shaft. - All done. You can change now.
弗雷德 谢谢你 非常感谢 Right. Thanks, Floyd. Thank you very much.
好了 伙计 动作快点 All right, buddy, we should get a move on.
道格 我在想... You know, Doug, I was thinking...
如果你不带我去维加斯 我也完全没意见 If you wanna go to Vegas without me, that is totally cool, you know?
说什么呢 What are you talking about?
菲尔和斯图都是你的死党 再说这是你的单身派对 You know, Phil and Stu, they're your buddies, and it's your bachelor party.
别这样 艾伦 他们两个喜欢你 Come on, Alan. Those two love you.
我也不想让你因为你小舅子在那 And also, I don't want you to feel like you have to hold back...
就不能尽情的玩 ...because your wife's brother's there. I just...
不是... It's not like that.
不是那样 我都说了 艾伦 It's not like that. I already told you, Alan.
我们只在维加斯呆一个晚上 没什么大不了的 Okay? We're just spending the night in Vegas. It's no big deal.
而且你不仅是我小舅子 现在也是我的好兄弟了 Besides, you're not just my wife's brother, you're my brother now.
道格 我希望你知道 我嘴很严 I want you to know, Doug, I'm a steel trap.
不管今晚发生什么 我都不会说出去 Whatever happens tonight, I will never, ever, ever, speak a word of it.
我明白 谢谢 其实不用那么... Okay. Yeah, I got it. Thank you. I don't think that...
老实说 我不在乎在那儿会发生什么 Seriously. I don't care what happens.
-就算我们杀个人我也无所谓 -什么 - I don't care if we kill someone. - What?
那可是罪恶之城 You heard me. It's Sin City.
我不会告诉任何人 I won't tell a soul.
行了 我知道了 Okay. I got it.
-谢谢 -应该谢你才对 - Thank you. No, thank you.
超爱你 I love you so much.
-我早知道 -爸 - Ha. I knew it. - Dad.
别搞了 我就是随便乱晃一下 Oh, stop it, I'm just jerking around.
艾伦 穿条裤子 你的腿够奇怪的 Alan, put some pants on. You have weird legs.
好的 爸爸 Yes, Daddy.
-他的腿还可以 爸 -拜托 - His legs look fine, Dad. - Oh, please.
他的腿像他妈 真够畸形的 He has his mother's legs. It's just freaky.
艾伦 我逗你玩呢 你的腿特赞 Alan, I'm just teasing. You have wonderful legs.
绝对比你妈的好看 美腿来的 They're better than your mother's. They're beautiful.
你相信吗 还有两天 Can you believe this? Just two more days.
我知道 你紧张吗 I know. You getting nervous?
-打算跑路吗 -闭嘴 - You wanna back out? - Shut up.
直接说吧 Just tell me. Oh. Mm.
你知道 我不需要去维加斯 那挺傻的 You know, I don't need to go to Vegas. It's dumb.
不傻啊 就一晚上 找点乐子 你应该的 It's not dumb. It's one night. Have fun, you deserve it.
我知道 可是我们应该上周末去的 I know, but we should have gone last weekend.
我还有很多事要做 我得取消 We have so much to do. L... I'm gonna cancel.
我哥两星期前就打包好了 你现在要取消 My brother packed his bag two weeks ago. You're not canceling.
-真的吗 -是啊 - Really? - Yeah.
-两星期前 -他特兴奋 - Two weeks? - Yeah, he's excited.
另外 谢谢你能带他去 Thanks again for bringing him, by the way.
不用谢我 没什么 他挺酷的 You don't need to thank me, it's nothing. He's a cool guy.
你不用一定带他 他也不酷 It's not nothing and he's not a cool guy...
所以谢谢 ...so thank you.
谢谢你 Thank you.
嘿 希德 Hey, Sid.
我想再感谢一次你们给我安排的这个周末 I just wanted to thank you guys again for everything you're doing this weekend.
-我们已经兴奋道不行了 -太好了 - We couldn't be more excited. - Ah, that's great.
好啊 我们相亲相爱 很好 Yeah, okay. You love us and we love you. Terrific.
给我讲讲维加斯啊 So talk to me about Vegas.
-应该挺爽的 -恩 - Uh... It should be pretty mellow. - Mm-hm.
小赌一下 晒晒太阳 开心一下 Do some gambling, maybe catch some rays, have a few laughs.
恩恩 开心一下 瞭了 Yeah, some laughs. I got you.
你怎么去 How you getting out there?
驾我的车 然后接上我朋友一起去 Uh, we're gonna take my car. Gonna pick up my friends after this.
-丰田 你开丰田去维加斯 -对啊 - Prius? You're taking a Prius to Vegas? - Yeah.
你去维加斯就得有个去维加斯的样子 You know, when you go to Vegas...
你可以开这个去维加斯 ...you gotta go to Vegas.
不 希德 No. Sid.
-真的吗 -过来 我们现在是一家人了 - Really? - Come on, we're family now.
-你确定 这可是你的爱车 -道格 车再好不也只是部车 - You sure? I mean, you love this car. - Doug, it's just a car.
不过你到那以后 最好装个挡泥板 这样沙子就不会钻进轮胎里了 Just make sure to put some Armor All on the tires so the sand doesn't seep in.
绝对装 没问题 Absolutely. That's easy.
别让艾伦开 他脑子秀逗了 Oh, and, uh, don't let Alan drive, because there's something wrong with him.
明白 Understood.
也别让菲尔开 我不喜欢他 Oh, and Phil either. I don't like him.
除了我谁都不会碰它 我保证 I will be the only one driving this car. I promise.
很好 Good.
记住 维加斯发生的事情只会留在维加斯 Remember, what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.
除了长疱疹 那玩意可是会跟着你回来 Except for herpes. That shit'll come back with you.
等一下 谁还没交家长许可条 All right. Hold on. I still need some of your permission slips...
下星期参观格里菲斯天文台要加90块钱 ...and $90 for the field trip to the Griffith Observatory next weekend.
现在就付钱 错过了会抱憾终生的 Pay now, or forever regret missing out on the experience of a lifetime, guys.
做得好 你交了 You're good, you got it.
-谢谢你 维尼克先生 -谢谢你 - Thanks, Mr. Wenneck. - Thank you. Hey.
你真的来了 谢谢 You really came through, thank you.
嗨 马克思 怎么 不去天文馆啦 Whoa, Max. What gives? What, no planetarium?
我妈不给钱 我被关禁闭了 My mom won't give me the money. I'm grounded.
-你身上有多少钱 -我不知道 - Well, how much you got on you? - I don't know.
可能 20块吧 Like, 20 bucks.
你给群殴20 我帮你付剩下的 Well, give me the 20 and I'll cover the rest.
-真的吗 -恩 我们以后再讲 - Really? - Yeah. Well, we'll talk about it.
不过先给我20 我知道你特想去 But give me the 20 so I know you're serious.
-行 谢谢您 维尼克先生 -恩 - Cool. Thanks, Mr. Wenneck. - Yeah.
非得停得这么近吗 Ahem, do you have to park so close?
-怎么了 -我们不该来这 - Yeah. What's wrong? - I shouldn't be here.
艾伦 为什么 Why is that, Alan?
我不想待在方圆200英尺有学校的的地方 I'm not supposed to be within 200 feet of a school.
-什么 -查克芝士儿童餐厅也很讨厌 - What? - Or a Chuck E. Cheese.
-维克尼先生 我 -今天是周末 - Mr. Wenneck, I was... - It's the weekend.
我就当做没看到你 I don't know you. You do not exist.
妈的 Shit.
-车不错啊 -是啊 - Nice car. - Yeah.
-我要开车了 -没门 老兄 - I'm driving. - Whoa, no chance, buddy...
不要踩 天哪 看着点那个皮... Don't step... God. Watch the leath...
闭嘴赶快开车 要不这些小鬼又该缠着我了 Shut up and drive before these nerds ask me another question.
-动物 -这是谁的 - Animal. - Who's this?
-艾伦 崔西的弟弟 -我见过你 四次面 - It's Alan. Tracy's brother. - I met you, like, four times.
没错 最近怎么样 Oh, yeah. How you doing, man?
把落健(生发水)带上 Don't forget your Rogaine.
落健 好的 Rogaine, check.
别忘了用 And don't forget to use it.
你忘用了几次 头发就变稀了 I can totally tell when you forget, your hair just looks thinner.
别忘了用落健生发水 好的 Using of the Rogaine, check.
必须一到酒店就打电话给我 Make sure to call me right when you get to the hotel...
别像上次到凤凰城出差 ...not like that conference in Phoenix.
我等了两个小时的电话 I had to wait two hours for you to call me.
那次我是主讲人 我上去的晚了 Yeah, I was the keynote speaker. I was late to the podium.
-还是... -你是对的 对不起 - Still? - Yeah, you're totally right. I'm sorry.
-怎么了 -不知道 - What is the matter? - I don't know.
最好不要一到那里就去脱衣舞俱乐部 I hope you're not gonna go to some strip club when you're up there.
梅丽莎 我们是去纳伯谷 Melissa, we're going to Napa Valley.
我不觉得酒庄还有脱衣舞酒吧 I don't even think they have strip clubs in wine country.
菲尔鼻子那么灵 如果那有的话 他早就发现了 Well, I'm sure if there is one, Phil will sniff it out.
不会那样的 It's not gonna be like that.
你知道我怎么看那些东西 Besides, you know how I feel about that.
我知道 只是小伙子和他们的单身派对 真恶心 I know, I know. It's just boys and their bachelor parties, it's gross.
没错 是恶心 You're right, it is gross. Mm-mm.
老实讲 你还知道什么 And you know what else, honestly?
我为什么要冒这个险 就几分钟 Why would I risk this for, you know, a couple of minutes...
19岁年轻的身体加女生制服 ...of some 19-year-old hard body in a schoolgirl outfit?
-对 -为什么我需要... - Yeah. - Why would I ever need, like...
-你说对了 你要是那么做 -怎样 - You're right. And if you ever do... - What?
我就他妈踢你屁股 ...I will fucking kick your ass.
谢谢你 谢谢你这么做 Thank you. Thank you for that.
这才是我想听的 That is exactly what I needed to hear.
别说得这么可怜 Not to mention it's pathetic.
那些地方都不干净 最恶心的是... Those places are filthy. And the worst part is...
那些小女生 ...that little girl...
在那个他妈台上又磨又挺的... grinding and dry humping the fucking stage up there...
-她们也是别人的女儿 -我刚想这么说 ...that's somebody's daughter up there. - I was just gonna say that.
你瞧 我只希望你的朋友也能像你一样成熟 See? I just wish your friends were as mature as you.
实际上他们很成熟 只是你还不了解他们 They are mature, actually. You just have to get to know them better.
呼叫笨蛋医生 Paging Dr. Faggot.
笨蛋医生 Dr. Faggot!
-我要走了 -叫得好 笨蛋医生 - I should go. - That's a good idea, Dr. Faggot.
周末愉快 我会想你的 Have a good weekend. I'm gonna miss you.
公路旅行 Road trip!
维加斯 维加斯 宝贝 Vegas! Vegas, baby!
维加斯 Vegas!
你疯了 You're nuts!
拜托 我们才开到巴斯图 别人都比我们快 Come on, just till Barstow. Everybody's passing us.
才不是呢 我答应了希德 只有我一个人开 Absolutely not. I promised Sid. I will be the only one driving this car.
而且你在喝酒 Besides, you're drinking.
什么 你是警察吗 我喝多了以后开得更好 Oh, what are you, a cop now? You know I drive great when I'm drunk.
的确 别忘了菲尔曾是我们御用的酒鬼司机 True. Don't forget, Phil was always our designated drunk driver.
艾伦 给他们解释一下 Yeah. You wanna explain it to them, Alan?
伙计们 我爸对着车比对我都亲呢 Guys, my dad loves this car more than he loves me, so, yeah.
切 我把娇妻爱子丢在家里就为跟你们去维加斯 Aw, whatever. I left my wife and kid at home so I could go with you guys.
-你知道那有多难吗 -真贴心 - You know how difficult that was? - That's really sweet.
我说的是反话 - Yeah. - Dude, I was being sarcastic.
我真他妈讨厌我的生活 I fucking hate my life.
-我也许不回去了 可能就留在维加斯 -好啊 - I may never go back. I might stay in Vegas. - Here we go.
道格 我们应该享受一下 因为到周末了 Doug, enjoy yourself, because come Sunday...
你日复一日地逼近死亡 ...you're gonna start dying just a little bit every day.
所以我一直单身 Yeah. That's why I've managed to stay single this whole time, you know?
-真的 就因为这个 -对啊 - Oh, really? That's why you're single? - Yeah.
不错 值得了解 Cool. Good to know.
-我这样可以吗 艾伦 -恩 不错 - Am I all right over there, Alan? - Yeah, you're good.
上帝啊 Aw, Jesus Christ!
-天哪 -太刺激了 - Oh, my God! - That was awesome!
一点都不刺激 你有病吧 That was not awesome. What's wrong with you?
-你疯了吗 我们差点死了 -你没看到你的表情 - That was insane. We almost just died. - You should have seen your face.
-太经典了 -真好笑 哈哈哈 - Classic. - That's funny. Ha-ha.
一点也不好玩 It's not funny.
-哥们 你的车真不错 -别碰它 - Boy, you've got a sweet ride there. - Don't touch it.
看都别看 快走 Don't even look at it. Go on, get out.
你听见我说什么了 也不要这么看我 You heard me. Don't look at me, either.
对 你最好别停下 Yeah, you better walk on.
-他挺好玩的 -对啊 心地很好 - He's actually kind of funny. - Yeah, he means well.
公共场合老头我也照打不误 I'll hit an old man in public.
他没事吧 我是说精神上 Is he all there? Like, mentally?
当然没问题 他只是有点怪 I think so. He's just an odd guy. You know, he's kind of weird.
-我们要小心点吗 -没必要 - I mean, should we be worried? - No.
-好吧 -不 - All right. - No.
崔西没说不让他玩牌 Tracy did mention that we shouldn't let him gamble.
也没说不让他多喝点酒 Or drink too much.
上帝啊 他像个小孩 还需要好好引导 Jesus, he's like a gremlin. Comes with instructions and shit.
还有一瓶水 And one water.
-我会和梅丽莎成为朋友吗 -当然 - All good with Melissa? - Oh, yeah.
我告诉她还有两小时我们就到酒村了 她让买这个 Told her we're two hours outside of wine country, and she bought it.
你不觉得很奇怪吗 你们在一起3年了 You think it's strange you've been in a relationship for years...
可还不能告诉她你是去维加斯 ...and you have to lie about Vegas?
没错 但相信我 不值为这事吵架 Yeah, I do. But trust me, it's not worth the fight.
就是说 你不能去维加斯 她却可以和服务员在游轮上做爱 Oh, so you can't go to Vegas but she can fuck a bellhop on a Carnival Cruise Line?
首先 那个人是酒保 Okay, first of all, he was a bartender.
其次 她喝醉了 And she was wasted.
而且 他根本就没进去 And, if you must know, he didn't even come inside her.
这你也信 And you believe that?
信 因为她觉得精液很恶心 Uh, yeah, I do believe that, because she's grossed out by semen.
一共32.5美元 That'll be 32.50.
32.5美元 你来付吗 It's 32.50, you gonna pay for it?
这上面说我们应该分工合作 谁来做我的搭档 It says here we should work in teams. Who wants to be my spotter?
艾伦 我觉得你今晚不该赌太多 I don't think you should be doing too much gambling tonight, Alan.
赌博 谁说这是赌博了 Gambling? Who said anything about gambling?
如果你铁定会赢就这不是赌博了 It's not gambling when you know you're gonna win.
计数卡很安全的 Counting cards is a foolproof system.
那也是违法的 It's also illegal.
不犯法 只是大家不认同 就像在飞机上打飞机一样 It's not illegal, it's frowned upon, like masturbating on an airplane.
我很肯定那也是犯法的 I'm pretty sure that's illegal too.
是吧 也许911以后大家都有点太敏感了 Yeah, maybe after 9/11, where everybody got so sensitive.
真该感谢你了 拉登 Thanks a lot, Bin Laden.
不管怎样 你得比计数器聪明N倍才行 Either way, you gotta be super smart to count cards, buddy, okay?
-真的吗 -这并不简单 - Oh, really? - It's not easy.
-也许我们应该把这个告诉雨人 Well maybe we should tell that to Rain Man...
他几乎让赌场破产 而他是个 日障 ...because he practically bankrupted a casino, and he was a retard.
什么 What?
他是个 日障 He was a retard.
是"智障" Retard.
我们走吧 Here we go.
欢迎来到凯撒宫 Hi, welcome to Caesars.
要入住吗 Hello. Checking in?
对 普瑞斯医生定的房间 Yeah. We have a reservation under Dr. Price.
好的 我查一下 Okay, let me look that up for you.
普瑞斯医生 Dr. Price?
你就是个牙医而已 别老做白日梦 Stu, you're a dentist, okay? Don't try and get fancy.
-我本来就是个医生 -他是个牙医 别太激动 - It's not fancy if it's true. - He's a dentist. Don't get too excited.
如果这儿有人心脏病犯了 还是要打911的 And if, uh, someone has a heart attack, you should still call 911.
我们会的 We'll be sure to do that.
我能问个问题吗 你这里有呼机信号吧 Can I ask you a question? Do you know if the hotel's pager-friendly?
-您是什么意思 -我的呼机没有信号 - What do you mean? - I'm not getting a sig on my beeper.
-我不确定 -有那种投币电话吗 - I'm not sure. - Is there a payphone bank?
一大排那种 Bunch of payphones? Business.
您的房间里有电话 Um, there's a phone in your room.
那还行 That'll work.
给您在12楼留了个带两卧室的套房 您看怎么样 So I have you in a two-bedroom suite on the 12th floor, is that okay?
听起来不错 It sounds perfect.
我只想知道你们有没有别墅 Actually, I was wondering if you had any villas.
-菲尔 我们在房间里又待不了多久 -那没必要 - We're not even gonna be in the room. - It's unnecessary.
没什么大不了的 我们一起睡 就一晚上 No big deal. We can share beds. It's one night.
如果我们要选个床友的话 我就挑菲尔 If we're share beds, I'm bunking with Phil.
-你愿意吗 -不 我才不愿意呢 - You good with that? - No, I'm not.
我们不能一起睡 我们还只有12岁吗 Guys, we are not sharing beds. What are we, 12 years old?
丽萨 我想你道歉 别墅多少钱一晚 Lisa, I apologize. How much is the villa?
我们只有一座别墅 一晚是4200元 Well, we have one villa available, and it's 4200 for the night.
-里面好吗 -很好 - Is it awesome? - It's pretty awesome.
-我们定了 把你的信用卡给她 -不能用我的卡 - We'll take it. Give her your credit card. - I can't give her my credit card.
-我们平摊 -你干嘛 就应该我俩掏 - We'll split it. - Are you crazy? No, this is on us.
你不能用 梅丽莎会查到我们的位置 You don't get it. Melissa checks my statements.
我们只是查下信用卡的额度 We just need a credit card on file.
在你退房之前我们不会刷卡 你可以退房的时候结账 We won't charge you until check out, so you can figure it out then.
很好 太好了 谢谢你 丽萨 我们明天再结账 快点 That's perfect. Thank you, Lisa. We'll deal with it tomorrow. Come on.
好吧 Fine.
-我能问个问题吗 -当然 - Can I ask you another question? - Sure.
你应该对这很了解 You probably get this a lot.
这并不是真正的凯撒宫是吧 This isn't the real Caesars Palace, is it?
您什么意思 What do you mean?
-凯撒大帝住在这吗 -不 - Did Caesar live here? - Um, no.
我也不这么认为 I didn't think so.
太棒了 Holy shit.
这才是维加斯 Now, this is Vegas.
这太大了 Oh, my... This place is enormous.
我说一句 Now we're talking.
这是一个套间吗 Is this all one suite?
谢谢你们 兄弟们 Thank you, guys.
或者我该说谢谢你 斯图 Or should I say, "Thank you, Stu"?
别客气 我爱你才这么做的 You're welcome. It's only because I love you.
哇 你们看 免费杏仁 Hey, guys. Look, free almonds.
-不不 放回去 -我只是肚子饿嘛 - Oh, no, no, no. Please put those back. - Wait, I'm just hungry.
-我知道 可是 -斯图 你他妈干嘛 - Well, I know, but... - Stu, what the fuck?
那是压力感应盘 拿起来以后 有30秒时间给放回去 It's a pressure-sensitive plate. When you pick it up, you have 30 seconds to put it back...
-或者酒店就和你收钱 -挺赞的 ...or they bill you. - That's pretty neat.
的确挺赞的 也挺贵的 It may be neat, but it's also very expensive, so...
这几颗杏仁可能就是 14块钱 Those almonds are probably, like, $14.
斯图 放松点 Stu, relax.
菲尔 梅丽莎法律会计是吧 Phil, Melissa is like a forensic accountant, okay?
她很仔细地勘我的银行账单 你们要想吃杏仁 She scours my statements. If you want nuts...
-用你自己的信用卡 -看这个 ...put your own credit card down. - Watch this.
问题解决了 艾伦 好好你的吃杏仁 Problem solved. Alan, enjoy your almonds.
你不想吃 根本就是浪费 I don't want them. He ruined it.
好了 选个房间 换好衣服 我们半小时后出发 All right, let's pick a room, let's get dressed. Be ready in 30 minutes.
我真希望你能到这来 因为你 所有人都会爱上这的 I just wish you could see this place, because you, of all people, would love it.
不 很安静 Yeah. No, it's so quaint.
不 这里没电视 没电话 Yeah, no, there's no TVs, no phones.
所有的房间里都只有部古董收音机 They just have these cute little antique radios in all the rooms.
对 Yeah.
还有什么事吗 What else? Um...
我们见到了这的老板 We met the, uh, proprietor.
-我打赌你 -What's his name? - Oh, I bet you... - What's his name?
西泽·帕雷斯 Um, Caesar. Palace.
是的 有点像菜名 Yeah, like the salad.
好了 我得走了 我们要去品葡萄酒 Okay. Well, listen, I gotta go, because we're gonna hit this wine tasting.
等等 我爱你 再见 Wait, wait. I love you. Okay. Bye.
我都无言了 你太能装了 I'm not even gonna say anything, it's so embarrassing.
-艾伦呢 -他在楼下 - Where's Alan? - He, uh, he went downstairs.
他说他要拿点东西 He said he had to grab a few things.
很好 给你看样东西 Good, because I have something to show you.
-这他妈什么玩意 -你说呢 - What the hell is that? - What do you think?
我觉得你是在拿自己开涮呢 If it's what I think it is, I think it's a big fucking mistake.
我打算在你的婚礼仪式结束后向梅丽莎求婚 I'm gonna propose to Melissa at your wedding. After the ceremony.
-斯图瑞 恭喜你 -谢谢 道格 - Stuey, congratulations! - Thank you, Doug.
-戒指真不错 -我奶奶留给我的 - That's a beautiful ring. - Yeah. It's my grandmother's.
她戴着这个经历了大屠杀 She made it all the way through the Holocaust with that thing.
我就不明白 我的话你一点都没听进去 Wait, have you not listened to anything I have ever said?
菲尔 我们在一起3年了 我们该结婚了 Phil, we've been dating for three years. It's time. This is how it works.
第一 你在胡扯 第二 她根本就是个荡妇 A, that is bullshit. And B, she is a complete bitch.
别这么说他未婚妻 Hey, that's his fiancee.
是真的 你知道是真的 她伤害了他 What? It's true. It's true. You know it's true. She beats him.
大家都有责任 我做的也不对 她只是有点固执而已 That was twice, and I was out of line.
她只是有点固执而已 我理解 She's strong-willed. And I respect that.
他拒绝承认她跟水手的那档事了 He's in denial. Not to mention, she fucked a sailor.
他不是水手 Hey, he wasn't a sailor.
是船上的酒保 你知道的 He was a bartender on a cruise ship. You know that.
伙计们 我还在这呢 你们说的我都听见了 Guys, I'm standing right here. So I can hear everything that you're saying.
伙计们 你们准备把狗放出去吗 Hey, guys. You ready to let the dogs out?
-什么 -干嘛 - What? - Do what?
谁把这家伙带来这儿的 Who brought this guy?
好的 艾伦 我们会把狗放出去的 Yes, Alan, we are ready to let the dogs out.
-恭喜你 -谢谢 - Hey, congrats. - Thank you.
我这他妈爱死这地方了 I love this fucking town.
-你不是真打算背着这玩意出门吧 -背着什么 - You're not really wearing that, are you? - Wearing what?
那个小钱包 The man-purse.
你是真打算背它还是在耍我 You're actually gonna wear that or are you guys fucking with me?
我要用它装东西 它颇受赞誉 It's where I keep all my things. I get a lot of compliments on this.
另外说一句这不是钱包 它叫背包 Plus, it's not a man-purse. It's called a satchel.
夺宝奇兵里就有 Indiana Jones wears one.
丑女贝蒂也用它 So does Joy Behar.
-我们要上去 -好啊 我们也去 - We're going up, guys. - Yeah, that's perfect.
真的 Really?
你们要上去啦 We're going up?
我说了这个标识牌写的很清楚 I'm just saying, it's clearly marked, okay?
我们真不应该上这儿来 We are definitely not supposed to be up here.
斯图 别墅要住的物有所值 我们想干什么就要干什么 Come on, we're paying for a villa. We can do whatever the fuck we want.
-对 但是 -把门顶住 - Yeah, but... - Just wedge the door open.
-伙计们 跟我来 -好 - Guys, come on up here. - Fine.
你怎么找到这的 How the hell did you find this place?
你就别管了 Don't worry about it.
-行吗 -当然 - You all right? - Yeah.
-瞧瞧这的景色 -你喜欢吗 - Look at the view up here. - You happy?
-真没 -哇 - This is great. - Whoa!
你开玩笑吗 Are you kidding?
艾伦 你在那干什么 Alan, how we doing, buddy? - Good.
-艾伦 你在那干什么 -是埃菲尔铁塔 - What do you got over there, Alan? - That's the Eiffel Tower.
-不是吗 -来点野格利酒 - Right? - A little J?germeister.
-好主意 -在那里 好名字 - Good idea. - There it is. Good call.
在房顶上畅饮 On the roof.
真不错 让我们举杯 Um, no, this is good. I'd like to make a toast.
为道格和崔西 To Doug and Tracy.
愿今晚成为 May tonight be...
婚前的放松 ...but a minor speed bump...
是为了让婚姻更加长久 美满 ...in an otherwise very long and healthy marriage.
-干杯 -干杯 - Cheers. - Cheers.
短暂又甜蜜 Short and sweet.
有点像葡萄酒 Oh, it's like college.
-我来说两句 -好 - All right. I wanna talk about something. - All right.
-我想 -我想 - I want to... - I'd like to...
我想说 I'd like to say something...
这是我准备的 ...that I prepared...
-为了今晚 -好了 艾伦 ...tonight. - All right, Alan.
大家好 "Hello.
旅程如何 我猜这就是罪恶之城的意思 How about that ride in?
我猜这就是罪恶之城的意思 I guess that's why they call it Sin City.
你们也许不知道 我总是独来独往 You guys might not know this, but I consider myself a bit of a loner.
一个人战斗 I tend to think of myself as a one-man wolf pack.
当我妹妹带道格回家时 我就知道他是自己人 But when my sister brought Doug home, I knew he was one of my own.
我们的狼友队伍又新增了一员 And my wolf pack, it grew by one.
所以狼群里有我们两个了 So were there two... So there were two of us in the wolf pack.
一开始只有我一人 然后道格加入了 I was alone first in the pack, and then Doug joined in later.
六个月之前 And six months ago...
当道格把我介绍给你们时 ...when Doug introduced me to you guys, I thought:
我想 等等 可能是... 现在我很确信 'Wait a second. Could it be? ' And now, I know for sure.
我的狼友队伍又增加了两名成员 I just added two more guys to my wolf pack."
-好 -好 - All right. - All right.
我们四匹狼 "Four of us wolves...
一同奔跑在拉斯维加斯的沙漠中 ...running around the desert together in Las Vegas...
寻找可卡因和脱衣舞娘 ...looking for strippers and cocaine."
所以今晚 So tonight...
我说了祝酒词 ...I make a toast. - Whoa.
-什么 -你拿的是什么 - What...? - What do you got there?
-他妈的搞什么 -你在干什么 - Dude, what the fuck? DOUG: What the hell are you doing?
-什么意思 -歃血为盟 - What is that? - Blood brothers.
-不要 你为什么 -妈的 - Don't... Why did you...? - Damn it.
-这里 -艾伦 - Here. - Alan...
-不要 -我才不干呢 - No. - No, I'm not doing that.
-斯图 快上 - 让他快住手 - Go ahead, Stuart. - Make him stop.
艾伦 我们才不会割自己呢 把刀给我 慢点 谢谢 Alan, we're not gonna cut ourselves. Give me the knife.
慢点 谢谢 很感谢 Slowly. Thank you. Okay. Thank you very much.
你没事儿吧 需要叫医生吗 You all right? Are you okay?
-需要叫医生吗 -他没事 - Do you need a doctor? - He's good.
-你确定 -我没事 - You sure? - I'm good.
好了 大家都注意一下 All right, good, because I need everybody to focus.
给我点时间 我优化要讲 我得讲讲我们的记忆 I wanna take a moment, I wanna talk about some... I wanna talk about memory.
不是 或者讲讲选择性的回忆 No, better yet, I wanna talk about selective memory.
今晚发生的事全当从没发生过 You see, whatever happens here tonight may as well never have happened at all...
任何事情都不能传到我们之外的人那里 ...because this circle's about as far as it's ever gonna go.
或者说 过了就忘 In other words, forget everything.
道格 我是认真的 我有老婆和小孩呢 Doug, I'm serious. I got a wife and kid.
不管好事坏事 我们什么都不要记得 Okay, good or bad, we don't remember so we got nothing to talk about.
什么都不记得 Nothing, guys. Nothing.
一言为定 Deal?
-一言为定 -一言为定 - Deal. - Deal.
-很好 艾伦 这边来 伙计 -过来点 疯子 - Perfect. Alan, come here, buddy. - Get in here, crazy.
好的 为了这个我们永远不记得的晚上 All right, to a night we'll never remember...
但是我们四个永远不会忘 ...but the four of us will never forget.
-它在这里 -听 - There it is. - Hear, hear.
谢谢你们啦 Hey, thanks, guys.
白痴老虎 Stupid tiger.
他妈的搞什么 What the fuck?
管好自己 哥们 该死 你能穿上裤子吗 Control yourself, man. Goddamn, will you put on some pants?
-菲尔 别进浴室 -艾伦 别紧张 是我 - Phil, do not go in the bathroom. - AI, just calm down. It's me.
菲尔 浴室里有只老虎 Phil, there is a tiger in the bathroom.
-怎么了 -浴室里有只丛林大猫 - What's going on? - There's a jungle cat in the bathroom!
-好 我去看看 -别进去 - Okay, okay, Al. Al, I'll check it out. - Don't go in.
小心点 别进去 Don't go in, don't go in. Be careful. Don't, don't.
-我靠 他没开玩笑 -你看 - Oh! Holy fuck! He's not kidding. - See? See?
-里面真有只老虎 -不是老虎 - There's a tiger in there. - No, there isn't.
-真大 超级大 -你还好吗 伙计 - It's big. Gigantic. - You okay, buddy?
-不 我现在好疼 No. I am in so much pain right now.
该死 看看这地方被我们搞得 Goddamn. Look at this place.
我知道 菲尔 我的信用卡还在他们手里呢 我死定了 I know. Phil, they have my credit card downstairs. I am so screwed.
老虎怎么跑进浴室里的 差点吓死我 How does a tiger get in the bathroom? It almost killed me.
你就不能穿上裤子吗 Hey, bro? You mind putting on some pants?
这都要我问你两次 I find it a little weird I have to ask twice.
裤子 这样的吗 我没有 Pants at a time like this? I don't have any p...
昨天晚上他妈的怎么回事 What the fuck happened last night?
菲尔 我是不是少了颗牙 Hey, Phil, am I missing a tooth?
我不能 我靠 I can't... Oh, shit.
天哪 Oh, my God.
行了行了 冷静点 我们很好 没事的 It's okay. Okay, okay. Just calm down. We're fine. Everything's fine.
艾伦 去叫醒道格 Alan, go wake up Doug.
我们去喝点咖啡 然后在管家出现之前离开这该死的内华达 Let's get some coffee and get the fuck out of Nevada before housekeeping shows.
我要怎么和梅丽莎说 我没了一颗牙 我都不知道怎么搞没的 What am I gonna tell Melissa? I lost a tooth. I have no idea how it happened.
你让我很抓狂 伙计 You're freaking me out, man.
我头很疼 我们都冷静点 I got a massive headache, okay? Let's just calm down.
我怎么冷静得了 看看你周围 How am I supposed to calm down? Look around you.
-伙计们 他不在那里 -你所有房间都看过了吗 - Hey, guys, he's not in there. - Did you check all the rooms?
是啊 我哪都看过了 而且他的床垫也不见了 Yeah, I looked everywhere. Plus, his mattress is gone.
他可能去游泳池吃东西了 He probably went to the pool to get something to eat.
我打他电话 I'll just call his cell.
我看起来跟个傻逼似的 I look like a nerdy hillbilly.
-喂 -艾伦 - Hello? - Alan.
-我是菲尔 -噢 菲尔 你好 - It's Phil. - Oh, hey, Phil...
这是道格的电话 This is Doug's phone. This is Doug's phone.
-没错 -是的 - No shit. - Yeah.
那是他妈的又是什么 What the fuck is that?
这是他妈的谁的婴儿 Whose fucking baby is that?
艾伦 你确定没其他人在房间里吗 Alan, are you sure you didn't see anyone else in the suite?
是的 我所有房间都检查过了 没人 Yeah, I checked all the rooms. No one's here.
我们看看他的衣领有没有标记什么的 Check its collar or something.
-没事没事 小宝贝 -斯图 我们没时间哄小孩了 - It's okay, baby. - Stu, we don't have time for this.
我们去和道格联系 晚点再来处理婴儿 Let's go hook up with Doug, we'll deal with the baby later.
菲尔 我们不能把一个婴儿留在房间里 Phil, we're not gonna leave a baby in the room.
-他妈的有只老虎在浴室里 -又不是我们的婴儿 - There's a fucking tiger in the bathroom. - It's not our baby.
-是啊 我这次站在斯图这边 Yeah, I gotta side with Stu on this one.
好吧 我们带着他吧 All right, fine. Okay, we'll take it with us.
你连条裤子都找不到吗? Could you at least just find some pants?
我们怎么啥事儿都不记得了 Why can't we remember a goddamn thing from last night?
因为我们他妈的昨晚玩得太爽了 Because we obviously had a great fucking time.
你就不能先不提这事儿吗 Why don't you just stop worrying for one minute?
你应该为自己骄傲才对 Be proud of yourself.
我不知道 菲尔 可能是因为我掉了颗牙 I don't know, Phil. Maybe it's because I'm missing a tooth.
也可能是因为有只老虎在我们房间 Or maybe it's because there's a tiger in our hotel room...
顺便说句 房间也完全被糟蹋了 ...which, incidentally, is completely destroyed.
不不等等 我知道 Oh, no, no. Wait, wait, wait, I know.
可能是因为我们见了个婴儿 一个人类婴儿 Maybe it's because we found a baby, a human baby.
就是 就是 That's it. That's it.
就是因为我们他妈捡了个小孩 It's because we found a fucking baby.
-你不应该在小孩旁边乱诅咒 -真的吗 你还根本不该在小孩旁边呢 - You shouldn't curse around the child. - Really? You shouldn't be around a child.
真可爱 他叫什么 Oh, how cute. What's his name?
-本 -卡洛斯 - Ben. - Carlos.
卡洛斯 Carlos?
谢谢你 Thank you.
菲尔 看 Hey, Phil, look.
他在打自己的小飞机呢 He's jacking his little weenis.
-别扯淡了 伙计 -在桌边这么干可不行 卡洛斯 - Pull yourself together, man. - Not at the table, Carlos.
我到处都找过了 I looked everywhere.
健身房 赌场 前台 没人看见道格 他不在这里 Gym, casino, front desk. Nobody's seen Doug. He's not here.
他没事儿的 他都是成年人了 He's fine. He's a grown man.
真的 斯图 你得放松一下 喝点果汁吧 Seriously, Stu, you gotta calm down. Here, have some juice.
我现在不能喝果汁 I can't have juice right now.
好吧 我们一起来回想下 Okay. All right. Let's just track this thing.
我们昨晚还记得的最后一件事儿是什么? What's the last thing we remember doing last night?
一开始我们在房顶上 Well, the first thing was we were on the roof...
喝着野格酒 ...and were having those shots of Jager.
然后我们在帕姆餐厅吃饭 对吧 And then we ate dinner at The Palm. Right?
对 That's right.
然后在硬石餐厅玩牌 我想道格应该在那里 And then we played craps at the Hard Rock, and I think Doug was there.
听起来有道理啊 不 他肯定在那里 That sounds right. No, no. He definitely was.
我甚至都不记得去吃过饭 You know what, guys? I don't even remember going to dinner.
他妈的这是怎么了 我从没喝酒这么难受过 What the fuck? I don't think I've ever been this hung-over.
在硬石餐厅玩完之后我就晕了 后面的就啥都不知道了 After the Hard Rock, I blacked out. It was like emptiness.
我们晚上10点还跟他一起 那么... Okay. We have up until 10 p. M...
我们可能是在过去12小时弄丢他的 ...so that gives us a 12-hour window where we could have lost him.
-这是什么 -天啊 那是我的牙 - What is this? - Oh, my God. That is my tooth.
怎么在你那里? 你口袋里还有什么? Why do you have that? What else is in your pockets?
这是好事啊 都检查下你们口袋 This is a good thing. No. Check your pockets. Check your pockets.
有什么东西吗 Do you have anything?
我有一张波拉哥(维加斯著名脱衣舞酒店)的ATM收据 I have an ATM receipt from the Bellagio.
11:05消费800美元 我他妈的完蛋了 Eleven-oh-five for $800! I am so fucked.
我有一张凯撒宫的服务票 看起来我们是5:15回去的 I have a valet ticket from Caesars. Looks like we got in at 5:15 a.m.
糟糕 我们昨晚开车了吗 Oh, shit. We drove last night?
酒后驾车 太棒了 Driving drunk. Classic.
你手臂上是什么 What's on your arm?
-这是他妈的什么 -老天 菲尔 - What the fuck is that? - Jesus, Phil.
-你昨晚进过医院 -我想也是 - You were in the hospital last night. - I guess so, yeah.
-你还好吗 -恩 艾伦 我挺好 - You okay? - Yeah, Alan. I'm fine.
到底他妈怎么回事 What the hell is going on?
斯图 这是好事 我们现在有线索了 Well, Stu, Stu, this is a good thing. We have a lead now.
斯图 看这个 Hey, Stu, watch this.
-你看过婴儿干这个么? -艾伦 这不好玩 - You ever seen a baby do that? - Dude, Alan, not cool.
你能照顾好这个婴儿吗 So, uh, are you sure you're qualified to be taking care of that baby?
什么 我以前捡到过一个婴儿 What? I've found a baby before.
-你以前捡到过一个婴儿 -是的 - You found a baby before? - Yeah.
-哪里 -咖啡厅连锁店 - Where? - Coffee Bean.
等等 什么 Wait, what?
菲尔 我觉得道格不会让我们开那辆老爷车的 Hey, Phil? I don't think Doug would want us to take the Mercedes.
没事儿 我们会小心的 Relax, we'll be careful.
我老爸会抓狂的 他只让道格开这车 My dad is crazy about that car. He left Doug in charge...
艾伦 我们这里有大麻烦了 Alan. We got bigger problems here.
道格可能在医院里 他可能受伤了 Doug could be in the hospital, he could be hurt.
-车子的事情晚点再说吧 -伙计们 你们看 - Let's worry about the car later. - Uh, guys? Check it out.
好吧 从另外一边拿起来 All right, grab it from the other side.
那是道格房里的床垫吗 Is that the mattress from Doug's room?
他妈的搞什么 What the fuck?
怎么回事啊 Hey, man, what's going on here?
昨晚有个混蛋把床丢出窗户了 Some asshole threw his bed out the window last night.
-不是吧... -是啊 - No shit. - Yeah.
有些家伙在维加斯就是混不下去 Some guys just can't handle Vegas.
天哪 Oh, God.
都会好起来的 斯图 It's gonna be okay, Stu.
我们他妈怎么能搞成这样的 How the hell did we manage that?
-这是你的车 警官 -天哪 - Here's your car, officers. - Oh, God.
好吧 大家冷静 别说话 All right, everybody act cool. All right, don't say a word.
快点 上车走人 Come on, let's just get in and go. Come on.
-斯图 你有5块钱么 -没有 - Stu, you got a five? - No.
-我回来再给你小费 -谢谢你 先生 - I'll hit you on the way back. - Thank you, sir.
我的天哪 Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
你刚把孩子撞到了 You just nailed the baby.
我的眼镜没坏吧 Are my glasses okay?
你的眼镜没事 混蛋 Your glasses are fine, dick.
这回犯大事儿了 This is so illegal.
你就不能乐观点吗 Can't you see the fun part in anything?
我们偷了辆警车 然后堵在这里... Yeah, we're stuck in traffic in a stolen police car...
后座还有一个不知道谁家的婴儿 ...with a missing child in the back seat.
哪里能让人笑得出来? Which part of this is fun?
-我觉得警车这部分很酷 -谢谢 艾伦 是很酷 - I think the cop-car part's pretty cool. - Thank you, Alan. It is cool.
道格会喜欢的 Doug would love it.
拜托 Come on.
-看这个 -不 菲尔 - Check this out. - Oh, no. No, Phil. No, Phil.
不要这么做 Don't do this!
-别紧张 -别尝试引来更多人注意我们 - Take it easy. - Just try to call more attention to us.
-注意 -对不起 - Attention. - Sorry.
注意 别挡路 Attention, please. Move out of the way.
我重复一次 都请让开 I repeat, please disperse.
菲尔 停车 我想下去 靠边 Phil, stop the car, I wanna get out. Stop the car, I wanna get out. Pull over.
穿豹纹裙的女士 您身材好辣 Ma'am, in the leopard dress, you have an amazing rack.
快离开人行道 Get off the sidewalk! Get off the sidewalk!
我真他妈的该当警察 I should have been a fucking cop.
嘿 不是跟你说过了吗 Look, I already told you.
你只是轻微脑震荡和肋部轻微擦伤 没什么大不了 You came in with a mild concussion, some bruised ribs. No big deal.
不过你们没人能说明白怎么搞的 Although none of you could articulate how it happened.
你记得当时我们有多少人来吗 Do you remember how many of us were here?
不大记得了 我想就你们几个吧 肯定没婴儿 I don't know. I think it was just you guys. Definitely no baby.
-另外还有个人 -他是我们的朋友 他还好吗 - And one other guy. - That's our guy. Was he okay?
是的 他很好 只是脑子不清醒 你们都不清醒 Yeah. He was fine. Just whacked out of his mind. You all were.
好的 过来 转身 All right, come forward. And turn.
好吧 All right.
现在开始 咳嗽 There you go. And cough.
咳嗽 多咳几下 Cough. Cough. Give me one more.
好做得好 All right. Thattaboy.
菲利克斯 你可以穿上衣服了 Okay, Felix, you can put your robe on.
护士马上就到 And the nurse will be in here in a minute.
周末过完后我再去看你 I'll see you after the weekend.
谢谢 谢谢你 医生 Thank you. Thank you. Thank you, doctor.
伙计们 我真得走了 抱歉 我要上四楼手术 Guys, I really gotta go. I'm sorry. I have a surgery up on the fourth floor.
我明白 我们只需要再占用你几分钟 No, I know. But we just need a couple more minutes of your time.
好吧 塞到这里 我不想重新消毒 Yeah. Tuck it right in there. I don't want to re-sterilize.
跟我走 Walk with me.
好的 我们看看 病人名叫菲尔·维尼克 凌晨2:45入院 Okay, here we go. Patient name, Phil Wenneck, 2:45 a.m. Arrival.
轻微脑震荡 我说过的 一些擦伤 比较标准 Minor concussion, like I said. Some bruising. Pretty standard.
你介意给我看看吗 我其实也是医生 Do you mind if I look? I'm actually a doctor.
你昨晚说这个说了好几次 不过事实上你只是个牙医 Yeah, you said that several times last night. But really, you're just a dentist.
好吧 真有意思 你的血检结果早上出来了 Okay, this is interesting. Your blood work came in this morning.
在你身体里发现大量如菲林 They found a large amount of Ruphylin in your system.
如菲林 俗称"飞魂" 又被叫做"约会迷奸药" Ruphylin. Roofies. Commonly known as the date-rape drug.
你是说我昨晚被强奸了吗 What, so, what are you saying, I was raped last night?
事实上 Actually...
我觉得没有 但是 的确有人对你下药 I don't think so. But someone did slip you the drug.
你什么都不记得很正常 I'm not surprised you don't remember anything.
医生 我们没人记得昨晚的事情 记得吗 Doc, none of us can remember anything from last night. Remember?
怎么会有人对我们都下药呢 Yeah. How could someone have drugged all of us?
我没什么可担心的 I wouldn't worry about it.
现在你们身体里的药都排光了 你没事了 The stuff's out of your system. You're gonna be fine.
等等 医生 还有其他的吗 Wait, wait, wait. Please, doctor. Is there anything else?
比如我们说过的事 或者我们要去的地方 Like, something we may have been talking about, or some place we were going?
你们的确说过一些话 Actually, there was something.
你们昨晚一直在谈论什么婚礼 You guys kept talking about some wedding last night.
是的 没错 我们的兄弟道格明天要结婚 Yeah. No shit. Our buddy Doug's getting married tomorrow.
-我想要回那一百块 -别 放松 - You know what? I want the 100 back. - No, no. Easy.
你们一直在说你们从某个婚礼上过来的 You kept talking about some wedding you just came from.
在"极品小教堂" At the, uh, Best Little Chapel.
你们一直在说那婚礼是如何疯狂 然后又说那个婚礼爽极了 You kept saying how sick the wedding was and getting all crazy about it.
我希望这能帮上你们 我真的要走了 Okay, I hope this helps. I really have to leave.
"极品小教堂"吗 它在哪里 Best Little Chapel, do you know where that is?
我知道 转弯查个查地图 然后滚蛋 I do. It's at the corner of Get A Map and Fuck Off.
我是个医生 不是导游 I'm a doctor, not a tour guide.
都自己解决 好吗 你们都不是小孩儿了 Figure it out yourself, okay? You're big boys.
这婴儿怎么办 What about the baby?
把他留在车里吧 我们只需要5分钟 Leave him in the car. We're gonna be five minutes.
我们不能把一个婴儿留在车里 Whoa, we're not leaving a baby in the car.
他会没事的 我开着窗户 He'll be fine. I cracked the window.
-万一他们不记得我们怎么办 -看看就知道了 - What if they don't remember us? - Well, let's just find out.
不好意思 打扰一下 先生 I'm sor... Excuse me, sir? Hi.
看谁来了 Look at these guys.
怎么了 你们想我了 还是想艾迪了 能再为你们做些什么吗 What happened? You miss me? You miss Eddie? You want more from me?
你们怎样 看看这位仁兄 真他妈的疯狂 How are you, my friend? Look at this guy. You're fucking crazy.
到底怎么回事 What's going on, man?
我和你讲 我这辈子见过很多疯子 Listen, I'm gonna tell you something. I know some sick people in my life.
但这家伙是我见过最疯狂最狂野的混蛋 This guy is the craziest, wildest bastard I ever met in my life, man.
-这个人吗 -这家伙完全疯透了 - This guy? - This guy is out of his mind.
怎么了 疯子 What's going on, you fucking crazy motherfucker?
我觉得他想给我吹萧 I thought he was gonna eat my dick.
怎么了 不喜欢艾迪了吗 都不拥抱我 What happened? No love for Eddie? You don't hug me?
不 不是那样 艾迪 只是... No, no. It's not that, Eddie.
我们想不起来昨晚的事情了 Uh, it's just that we're having a hard time remembering what happened here last night.
这里有过一个婚礼吗 你们办过一个婚礼吗 Yeah, was there a wedding here? Do you do weddings here?
你在耍我吧 伙计 You are cracking my balls, man.
我超爱这几个人 祖拉 你干嘛呢 I love these guys. Zolea, what are you doing?
给我朋友弄点茶 果仁酥 快点 Bring my friends some tea, some baklava, huh? Come on.
真不敢相信 这女人 胸大无脑 Unbelievable, man. Look at this chick. Beautiful ass, no fucking brain.
不过这里是维加斯 别想有暧昧 只能上床 But this is Vegas. You want intimacy, forget it. You're gonna get sex.
这里就这样 我没问题 That's it here, man. No problem for me, though.
你要妞吗 我给你找一群 You want chicks? I can get you beautiful chicks...
从东欧什么来的 没问题 ...from the Eastern Bloc. No questions.
干净 还很紧 胸部这样 乳头这样 Clean, tight. The tits like that, the nipple like that.
显然我们昨晚在这里 我们在找一个朋友 道格 Obviously we were here. We're looking for our friend Doug.
-你记得他吗 -记得 那个小家伙 跟个猴子似的 - Do you remember? - Yeah, the small guy. Like a monkey.
-对 -你看到他了吗 - Yeah. - You saw him?
当然 Of course.
你能告诉我们昨晚发生了什么吗 Is there anything you can tell us about what may have happened last night?
你们什么都不记得了吗 You don't remember nothing?
-恭喜你 斯图 你结婚了 -不可能 - Congratulations, Stu, you got married. - This... This can't be happening.
-天哪 -看这个 - Oh, God. - Look at that.
看起来你昨晚在这儿嗨极了 I'll tell you one thing, you look seriously happy here, man.
就这样 我完蛋了 That's it. My life is over.
斯图 没事 谁也不一帆风顺 Stu, it's okay. Look, shit happens.
斯图 没事 大家都有倒霉的时候 梅丽莎不会知道的 Come on. Melissa's not gonna know anything about this.
-这个就当从没发生过 我会处理的 -这些放这里 - This never happened. I'll take care of it. - Come on. Put it here.
那些是什么 Hey, what's all that?
这是"挥霍者套装" 你们预订的 我有咖啡杯 The High Roller package. It's what you ordered. I have coffee mugs.
-什么 -有棒球帽 - What? - You have baseball caps, huh?
还有印有斯图和杰德照片的漂亮日历 And fancy calendars, all with pictures of Stu and Jade.
她叫杰德 Her name's Jade?
对 她很美 整洁 身材好 胸部是那样的 Yeah, and she's beautiful, man. Clean, very tight. Tits like that.
-不过那是因为她生过孩子 -这就解释了婴儿 - But that's because she had a baby. - That explains the baby.
-卡洛斯 -很好 - Oh, Carlos. Carlos. - Great. All right.
艾迪 是这样的 我们昨晚犯了大错 Uh, here's the deal. We made a mistake last night.
我们要立即解除婚姻关系 你们这儿也办离婚吧 We need this marriage annulled. You do annulments?
我们当然办了 它总会让我伤心的 Of course I do. It breaks my heart and gonna make me sad...
但没问题的 我会给你们定个好价钱 ...but it's no problem. Good price for you.
不过只有他不行 需要女方参加 要双方都得参加的 I can't do it with just him, though. I need the chick. I need both parties.
没问题 那样很好 难道不好吗 斯图 Oh, not a problem. That's great. Isn't that great, Stu?
拜托 伙计 她可能知道道格在哪 Come on, buddy. She probably knows where Doug is.
-很好 -好的 - Awesome. - All right, all right. Okay. Uh...
我们需要她的地址 她一定填过一些表的 对吧 We need her address. She filled out some paperwork, right?
当然 Of course.
抱歉 你怎么了 去拿表格 Hey. Excuse me. What is the matter with you? Go and get the paperwork, man.
-我爱你一万年 -我走了 - I spend my life waiting for you. Come on. - Okay. I'm going.
请顺便把巴哈拉拿来 And get the baklava, please.
-菲尔 我老爸的车怎么办 -肯定在道格那里 我们会拿回的 - Hey, Phil, what about my dad's car? - I'm sure Doug has it. We'll get it back.
我建议我们烧掉警车和这些烂东西 Then I vote we torch the cop car and all this shit with it.
-烧掉 你疯了吧 -我不知道 菲尔 - Torch it? Who are you? - I don't know, Phil.
显然我娶了个完全陌生的人 Apparently I'm a guy who marries complete strangers.
这整个事情都完全遭透了 This whole situation is completely fucked.
-咖啡杯 帽子 警车 -嗨 - These mugs. This hat. This car. - Hey!
这全都证明了一个"不存在"的夜晚的存在 It's all evidence of a night that never happened.
所以我们要烧掉它们 That is why we're torching all of it.
我是老师 我有家庭 Whoa, I'm a schoolteacher, I got a family, okay?
我可以保密 但我不会烧他妈的警车 I'm all for secrecy, but I'm not gonna torch a cop car.
-好吧 我来烧 -我能帮忙吗 - Fine. I'll do it. - Can I help?
-可以 谢谢 -你他妈到底想怎么做 - Yeah, thanks. - And how exactly are you gonna do that?
简单 你吧汽油浇在白鼬上 两边都点着 扔进去 Easy. You just pour kerosene over a ferret, light it on both ends, put it in.
他们连着气管 They're attracted to the gas lines.
-什么 白鼬 -对 - What? A ferret? - Yeah. Yeah.
或者温顺的浣熊 不过浣熊很麻烦 Or a tamed raccoon, but it's a lot of trouble.
你要真那么做 还管它温顺不温顺 If you wanna... - Does it matter if it's tamed?
因为如果不温顺 它就不让你给它浇汽油 Yeah, because if it's untamed, it won't take the kerosene as well.
-糟糕 是道格吗 -不是我的 - Is it Doug? - I don't have it.
一定是道格 -是梅丽莎 - It's Doug, - it's Doug.
是梅丽莎 Uh, it's Melissa.
-别接 -我必须接 她已经打过两次了 - Don't answer. - I have to. She's called twice already!
-我能玩枪吗 -别碰我 - Can I ride shotgun? - Don't touch me.
喂 宝贝 你好吗 Hey, sweetheart, how are you?
终于接电话了 我已经给你打了三次了 There you are. This is the third time I'm trying you.
我知道 这里的信号很差 I know. The reception up here's crazy.
我觉得可能是红杉树阻挡了信号 I think it's all the sequoia trees, block the signal.
真讨厌 那昨晚上过的怎么样 Ugh, I hate that. So how was it last night?
真的很有意思 很安静 一段美好时光 Ah, it was really fun, actually. It was quiet, but it was a good time.
听起来不错 That sounds nice.
-我们尝遍了那些传说中的美酒 -嗨 - I'm learning all kinds of vino factoids. - Hi.
要是我能给孩子喂奶就好了 It'd be so cool if I could breast-feed, you know?
那个 Well, listen...
-我们要去开拖拉机 -放什么屁 ...we're about to go for a tractor ride. - What the fuck?
-我马上就要出发了 真好 -开拖拉机 - I should get going. So pretty. - A tractor ride?
-快走啊 滚出来 -那是什么 - Go, out of the car! - What was that?
他们开始发动拖拉机了 可能有点逆火 They started up the tractor. I think it backfired.
-他到底在哪 -别紧张 - Where the hell is he? - Hey, easy, easy.
我觉得我们在找同一个人 I think we're looking for the same guy, okay?
你他妈干什么 老兄 Hey! What the hell, man?
你到底在哪 那是个婴儿吗 What the fuck, Stu? Is that a baby?
怎么说是婴儿呢 我们在酒厂 那是山羊 Why would there be a baby? We're at a winery. That's a goat.
-他在哪 -我不知道 你在说什么 - Where is he? - I don't know! What are you talking about?
先生 你就不能发动拖拉机赶快离开这里? Sir, can you please start the tractor so we can get out of here?
我也想 但是我们卡住了 I'm trying to, but we're fucking blocked.
到底发生什么事了 斯图 Oh, my God! What the hell is happening, Stu?
-喂 车上有个孩子 -有人说孩子了 - Hey! There's a baby on board! - Someone just said "baby."
-下车 -是小羊羔 - Get out of the car! - It's a baby goat.
你为什么跟的我生意过不去 Why you making trouble for my business, man?
-现在就离开这里 -现在就从车里滚出来 - Go away from here. - Get out of the car!
-菲尔 他有枪 -不骗你 他有枪 - Phil, he's got a gun! - No shit he's got a gun!
-我一会给你回电话 -拜托 - I gotta call you back. Bye. - Come on.
-他妈的 -他们打中我了 - Fuck! Shit. - He shot me!
-他们射伤艾迪了 -该死的 - He shot Eddie! - Fuck this shit!
妈的 Fuck! Fuck!
快走 快 Go, go, go!
我靠 Fuck.
这可不是玩笑 Okay. Oh, that was some sick shit!
他们是谁 Who were those guys?
我们会好的 一切都会好的 We're gonna be okay. Everything's gonna be okay.
到底是他妈的怎么回事啊 What the fuck is going on?!
我不知道 I have no idea.
让电话打进语音信箱好了 Why don't you just let that go to voicemail?
说实话 那只是假笑 That's a fake laugh, by the way.
有泰德·丹森 大酒桶P.I.(美国电视剧)和那个犹太演员 It's got, uh, Ted Danson and Magnum P.I. And that Jewish actor.
闭嘴 艾伦 Shut up, Alan.
-哪个房间? -825号房 - What room was it again? - It's 825.
我已经问过她了 I know, I did. I already checked with her.
我找到他了 一会回电话 谢天谢地 他和他爸爸在一起 I found him, I'll call you back. Thank God, he's with his father.
把我吓坏了 好想你啊 小宝贝 I was freaking out. I missed you, sweetie.
我也想你 And I miss you.
不 No.
-你们到底怎么了 -我们正希望你告诉我们呢 - What the hell happened to you guys? - Actually, we were hoping you could tell us.
什么意思 我今早醒来 给你们去弄咖啡 What do you mean? I got up this morning, I went to get coffee...
回来的时候 你们就不见了 ...and I came back and you were gone.
-你现在怎么这么安静了 -我一直都不安静吗 - Why are you being so quiet? - I'm not being quiet.
他真可爱 Ha, ha. You're so cute.
我要喂一下泰勒 你们也进来吧 Yeah, I gotta feed Tyler. Come inside, you guys.
听见了吗 孩子的名字是泰勒 Did you hear that? Baby's name is Tyler.
我觉得他长得更像卡洛斯 老兄 Yeah. I thought he looked more like a Carlos too, bud.
怎么了 你们怎么这么怪 Okay, what's up? You guys are acting weird.
-听着 你是杰德 -你真搞笑 菲尔 - Look, it's Jade, right? - Very funny, Phil.
是的 杰德 你还记得我们的朋友 道格 Right, Jade, uh, ahem, you remember our friend, Doug.
开玩笑嘛 他是我们婚礼的伴郎 Are you kidding? He was the best man.
对 我们找不见他了 有点担心 Exactly. Well, we can't find him, and we're getting worried.
天啊 这真是我们的道格 Oh, my God, that is so Doug.
我要去给他洗洗 Oh, sweetie, I'm... I'm gonna go clean him off.
没事 爸爸不是故意的 It's all right, Daddy didn't mean it.
天哪 Oh, my God.
你怎么了 老兄 你得忍着 What the fuck, man, you gotta hold it together.
-该死 -她很性感 你应该为自己骄傲 - Holy shit. - She is super hot.
-你应该为自己骄傲 -她带着我奶奶的戒指呢 - You should be proud of yourself. - She's wearing my grandmother's ring!
-什么 -我要给梅丽莎的那个戒指 - What? - The ring I'm gonna give to Melissa.
还记得我奶奶带着经历了大屠杀的那个戒指吗 You remember, my grandmother's Holocaust ring?
-我靠 -她戴上了 - Fuck. Okay. - She's wearing it.
我才知道在大屠杀的时候还发戒指 I didn't know they gave out rings at the Holocaust.
-他没事 -好 - He's okay. - Oh, good.
-他只是饿了 没事的 -很好 - He was just hungry, he's fine. - Oh, good.
关于昨晚上 你还记得最后一次见道格 About last night, uh, ahem, do you remember the last time you saw Doug?
-婚礼就没有见他了 -婚礼 好的 - Uh, I haven't seen him since the wedding. - The wedding. Okay. Great.
那是什么时候 And, uh, we can't re... What time was that at?
大概是 Well, it was, um...
我猜是一点左右 因为我要回去工作 去轮班 I guess it was around 1, because I had to go back to work and finish my shift.
下了班以后 我就带着泰勒就直奔宾馆 And then when I got out I headed over to the hotel with Tyler.
道格那时候在吗 And was Doug there then?
我没见道格 因为你们喝的烂醉 房间一片混乱 I didn't see Doug because you guys were passed out. The room was a wreck.
-我就靠着斯图蜷着躺下了 - So I just curled up next to Stu. - Uh-huh.
我有个疑问 你说你换班结束 I got a question. Um, you said when your shift ended.
你是说你是护士吗 还是赌场发牌的? Does that mean you're a nurse? Or a blackjack dealer?
-你知道的 我是脱衣舞女 -额 - You know this. I'm a stripper. - Mm-hm.
严格上讲我是陪伴 不过脱掉衣服可以更好的与客户沟通 Well, technically I'm an escort, but stripping's a great way to meet the clients.
-真聪明 -我知道了 - Smart. - Savvy.
不过那都是过去的事了 我现在嫁给医生了 But that's all in the past, now that I married a doctor.
我只是牙医 I'm just a dentist.
-加州警察 不许动 -好 - Las Vegas Police! Freeze! - Okay.
别让孩子哭了 Shut that baby up! Shut that baby up!
-天哪 -好的 - Oh, God! - Okay, okay, okay.
在给他们拍完了脸之后 带他们来这里 After we take the mug shots, we bring them down here...
他们要在这里等着长官问话 ...where they wait to be interviewed by the arresting officers.
相信我 小子们 你们是不愿意坐在这张椅子上的 Trust me, kids, you do not wanna be sitting on these benches.
我们称这个地方"傻逼专属地" We call this place Loserville.
跟着我 好 现在开始 快点 Follow me. All right, let's do it. Come on.
你好 Hello.
-你好崔西 我是菲尔 -你好 菲尔 - Hey, Tracy! It's Phil. - Hey, Phil.
-你们在哪 -我们在宾馆做SPA - Where are you guys? - We are at the spa at the hotel.
不错啊 我在日光浴 道格还好吗 Cool. We're just getting some sun. Is Doug around?
当然在 他怎么会不在 Of course. Why wouldn't he be?
我在想为什么是你给我打电话 I'm just wondering why you're calling me.
我们说好了的 不能同女朋友和妻子通话 We made a deal, no talking to girlfriends or wives.
只能由我们给你打电话了 So we're all calling each other's.
好啊 怎么了 Okay. What's up?
你不会相信的 我们要在宾馆多住一天 Uh, you are not gonna believe this. We got comped an extra night at the hotel.
真的吗 You did?
套房好极了 让我们爽翻了 Yeah. The suite is... It's ridiculous. It's out of control.
客房服务 还有服务员都很棒 There's, like, room service and a butler. I mean, just the works.
所以我们决定在这住一晚 We're thinking of spending the night...
早上我们会放松得好好的回去的 ...and we're gonna come back in the morning.
再住一晚上吗? 可是婚礼明天早上就要举行的 You wanna stay an extra night? But the wedding's tomorrow.
所以我们会早起的 有充足的时间回去 That's why we're gonna get up early, and we'll be back in plenty of time.
好吧 你们真的要这么决定吗 Okay. Are you sure that's a good idea?
维尼克 普瑞斯和盖尼 来3号房间 Wenneck, Price, Garner. Room 3.
好了崔西 我该挂了 一会再聊 Okay, Trace, I gotta go. We'll talk to you later.
快点 过来 过来 转过来 - Come on, chop-chop. - Okay, spin around.
-那就是 -他妈的 - That's it. - Goddamn it.
-等一下 -我过去 - Wait a second. - I'll go over. I'll go over.
-不要再拉了 -你就不能等等吗 - Stop pulling. - Can you just...? Hold on.
我们知道了 艾伦 冷静点 然后...完了 We got it. Alan, just relax. And then just... There we go.
很好 Good.
先生们 Gentlemen.
我们有好消息和坏消息 We've got some good news, and we've got some bad news.
好消息是我们找到你们的梅西德斯车了 The good news is we found your Mercedes.
-真是好消息 -太好了 - That's great news. - That's great. See?
现在已经扣押了 我们今早上5点找到的 Yeah, it's over at impound right now. We picked it up at 5 a.m. This morning...
停放在拉斯维加斯大街中央 ...parked in the middle of Las Vegas Boulevard.
-街中央 很奇怪 -是啊 很奇怪 - In the middle. That's weird. - Yeah, that is weird.
还有一张纸条 There was also a note.
上面写着 没找到在哪儿交停车费 但这里有4美元 It says, uh, "Couldn't find a meter, but here's 4 bucks."
坏消息是 The bad news is...
周一早上我们才能让你见法官 ...we can't get you in front of a judge until Monday morning.
长官 这样可不行 Oh, no, uh, officer, that's just impossible.
我们明早上要去洛杉矶参加婚礼 No, we need to be in L.A. Tomorrow for a wedding.
-你偷了一辆警车 -我们没有偷 是我们找到的 - You stole a police car. - We didn't steal anything. Um, we found it.
应该给我们发个奖品什么的 Yeah, if anything, we deserve a reward or something, like a trophy.
-我每天都和你们这些混蛋打交道 -每天都烦死了 - I see assholes like you every day. - Every fucking day.
我们去维加斯 我们都喝倒 "Let's go to Vegas, we'll all get drunk and laid!
我们偷个警车 那多好玩啊 Let's steal a cop car, because it'd be really fucking funny."
你以为你们会拍拍屁股走人吗 不行! Think you gonna get away with it? Not up in here.
在这里不行! - Not up in here! - Oh.
长官 Sir...
我是不是可以 ...if I may, um...
恕我直言 那辆车是你们的 ...l'm assuming that that squad car belongs to one of you.
-是啊 -是啊 - Yeah. - Yeah.
我不是警察 Look, I'm not a cop.
我不是英雄 我是学校老师 I'm no hero. I'm a schoolteacher.
如果我的孩子在野外旅行中丢了 But if one of my kids went missing on a field trip...
我会很难受 ...that would look really bad on me.
-你想说什么 -对啊 菲尔 你想说什么 - What are you getting at? - Yeah, Phil, what are you getting at?
没有人想不开心 我们想去参加婚礼 No one wants to look bad. We gotta get to a wedding...
你们也一定不想听到有人讲昨晚 ...and you guys don't need people talking about...
有一群讨厌的旅客把警队的车"借走"了 ...how some obnoxious tourists borrowed your squad car last night.
我觉得我们可以做个交易 But look, the point is, I think we can work out a deal.
当然啦 私底下 女士 Discreetly of course, ma'am.
你们什么意见 What do you say?
我问你个问题 Let me ask you a question:
你们有心脏病什么的吗 Do, uh, any of you gentlemen have a heart condition or anything like that?
没有 Uh, no.
好的 孩子们 你们今天可真走运 Okay, kids, you're in for a real treat today.
这些先生们自愿来演示 These gentlemen have kindly volunteered to demonstrate...
眩晕枪是如何制服嫌疑犯的 ...how a stun gun is used to subdue a suspect.
-对 -等等 什么 - That's right. - Wait a sec. What?
看着 眩晕枪有两种使用方式 近距离射击 Now, there's two ways to use a stun gun. Up close and personal.
-搞屁啊 -或者远距离射击 - What the fuck? - Or you can shoot it from a distance.
有没有自愿的上来射击 Do I have any volunteers? You wanna come up here and do some shooting? Huh?
你 小姑娘 来这里 All right, how about you, young lady? Come on up here. All right.
过来帅哥 快点 Let's go, handsome, come on.
不是你 大胖子 靠边站 你 靓仔 Not you, fat Jesus, slide it on back. You, pretty boy.
-天哪 -非常简单 - Fat Jesus. - All right, now, it's real simple.
你要做的就是指向目标 瞄准 射击 All you gotta do is point, aim and shoot.
知道吗 All right?
你不会想这样做的 Okay, look. You don't really wanna do this.
你可以成功的 集中注意力 You can do this. Just focus.
不要听这个疯子 好好想想 Don't listen to this maniac. Let's think this through.
干掉他 Finish him!
-我靠 -哦耶 - Oh, fuck. - Yeah!
正中小弟 干得漂亮! Right in the nuts! That was beautiful.
非常好 大家鼓掌 好了 很好 - Well done. Give her a hand, everybody. - Good job. Good job.
做得很好 很棒 非常棒 Good job. Well done. Good job. That was great.
我们还有一个目标 还有谁想来? Good. Hey, we got one more charge left. Anybody wanna do some shooting up here?
你 小伙子 上来 How about you, big man? Come on up here.
好了 指导一下 指向目标 瞄准 射击 Okay, same instructions. Just point, aim and shoot.
好了 就这样 There you go. That's the stuff.
我就喜欢刺激的 I like the intensity.
盯着目标 很好 Eye of the tiger. Good.
你手持五万伏高压的亮银枪 你胯着闪电般奔驰的草泥马 You're holding 50,000 volts, little man. Don't be afraid to ride the lightning.
一枪爆头! In the face! In the face!
他还能站住 Oh, he's still up. He's still up.
大家不要紧张 放松 All right, everybody relax, take it easy.
我们以前也经常见 还需要再多加一点电 We've seen it before. He just needs a little extra charge.
好了 There we go.
体积较大的 我们要打两枪 Some of these big boys, you gotta give them two shots.
好了孩子们 现在谁想去看看自己的指纹 快点来 All right, kids, who wants to get their fingerprints done, huh? Come on, let's go.
该死的 你能听见我说话吗 Fuck those guys, you hear me?
太他妈离谱了 我要告诉每个人我们偷了一辆警车 That was bullshit. I'm telling everybody we stole a cop car.
-他放我们走了 那就行了呗 -我在乎 - They let us go, who cares? - I care!
你不能因为好玩就这么干 就去戏弄别人 You can't just do that. You can't just tase people because you think it's funny.
这是警官在滥用私刑 That's police brutality.
-我要去买苏打水 你们要什么吗 -不要 I'm getting a soda. Do you guys want anything?
不要 No.
这样一个喋喋不休的家伙 我滴神啊 My man doesn't shut up. Jesus Christ.
艾伦 你还好吗 Alan, you okay?
我有点担心 I'm just worried.
如果道格真出什么事 不好的事怎么办 What if something happened to Doug? Something bad.
别这样 不要那样想 Come on, you can't think like that.
如果他死了怎么办 I mean, what if he's dead?
我不能再失去身边的任何人了 那太伤心了 I can't afford to lose anybody close to me again. It hurts too much.
-我爷爷死的时候 我痛苦极了 -真对不起 他怎么去世的 - I was so upset when my grandpa died. - Oh, I'm s... How'd he die?
-二战 -死在战场上吗 - World War II. - Died in battle?
不 他在符蒙特州滑雪死的 当时正是二战的时候 No, he was skiing in Vermont. It was just during World War II.
艾伦 Alan...
-道格会没事的 -他怎么不打电话 ...Doug is fine. - Well, why hasn't he called?
不知道 但是我们会弄明白的 I don't know, but we're gonna figure it out.
还有件事 我一赔六压我们的车被砸烂了 I'll tell you another thing, 6-1 odds our car is beat to shit.
斯图 现在别谈这个 Stu, not now.
真的 你想打赌我们肯定都认不出它来了 No, how much do you wanna bet it's fucked beyond recognition?
够了 艾伦现在很焦虑 不要再吓唬他了 That's enough. Alan's seriously worried, okay? Let's not freak him out any more.
对不起 艾伦 Sorry, Alan.
你知道吗 You know what?
我们会找找车上的线索 一切都会没事的 We'll search the car for clues and everything's gonna be okay.
该死 我不敢看 告诉我是什么样的就行 Oh, shit. I can't watch. Just tell me what it looks like.
不看 不看 Not looking. Not looking.
-哇 还好 -谢天谢地 - Wow. All right. - Oh, thank God.
你看 You see?
我都说没事了 It's gonna be all right.
-有什么线索吗 -有根雪茄 - Anything? - Hmm, I got a cigar.
我找到 这里有几只黑鞋 Oh, I found, uh... These are some black shoes.
-我发现一只黑鞋 -女人的吗 -不知道 - They women's shoes? - I don't know.
-这是谁的 -不知道 6号男鞋 - Whose are those? - I don't know. It's a men's size 6.
-真奇怪 -这是什么 蛇皮吗 - That's weird. - What is this, a snakeskin?
拜托 Oh, come on! Ew!
-那是用过的避孕套 艾伦 - - That's a used condom, Alan. - Oh, God. Blech!
-扔出去 -真恶心 还湿着呢 - Get it out of the car. - Gross, it's wet.
-我可不要那玩意 -拜托 - I don't want the thing. - Hey! Come on.
精液流到我身上了 我靠 老大 I got jizz on me. Jesus Christ, guys!
-扔出去 -靠 - Get it out. - Fuck!
天哪 Oh, my God.
你们干毛呢 伙计们 我们得齐心协力 All right, what the fuck, man? We gotta get this shit together, guys!
那是什么生音 What was that?
后备箱传来的 It's in the trunk.
-道格在后备箱里 -我靠 真该死 - Doug's in the trunk. - Oh, fuck! Holy shit!
该死 Holy shit!
-打开 打开 -好好 - Open it! Open it! Open it! - Okay, okay, okay.
好好 Okay, okay, okay.
上帝啊 Oh God!
拜托拜托 别打了 Please! Please! Please stop!
我和你一样 Whoa. I'm with you, I'm with you!
-你要跟我打吗 -没人要跟你打 - You gonna fuck on me? - Nobody's gonna fuck on you!
我跟你一伙的 我讨厌哥斯拉 我也恨哥斯拉 We're on your side. I hate Godzilla! I hate him too. I hate him!
他毁掉城市 He destroys cities! Please!
这不是你的错 我给你拿条裤子 This isn't your fault. I'll get you some pants.
到底是怎么回事 What the fuck was that?
我内出血了 打911报警 I have internal bleeding. Somebody call 911.
真他妈的倒霉 That was some fucked up shit.
谁干的 那么狠 Who was that guy? He was so mean.
伙计们 我得告诉你们件事 Guys, there's something I need to tell you.
昨晚上在房顶上 我们出去之前 Last night on the roof, before we went out...
我在酒里加东西了 ...I slipped something in our J?germeister.
-什么 -对不起 我晕了 伙计们 - What? - I'm sorry, I fudged up, guys.
-你给我们下药 -不是 我不是给你们下药 - You drugged us? - No, I didn't drug you.
我放的是摇头丸 I was told it was ecstasy.
谁告诉你那是摇头丸的? Well, who told you it was ecstasy?
在酒店里买酒的时候那个人告诉我的 The guy I bought it from at the liquor store.
那你为什么要给我们下摇头丸? Why would you give us ecstasy?
因为我想让所有人都开心 我知道你们不会嗑这个的 就每个人只放一份 I wanted everybody to have a good time and I knew you guys wouldn't take it.
就每个人只放一份 我以前晚上都磕三份的 It was just one hit each. I used to do three hits a night.
可那不是摇头丸 艾伦 那是飞魂 But it wasn't ecstasy, Alan, it was roofies!
你以为我知道吗 斯图 You think I knew that, Stu?
我买的时候 那个人看起来说得都是实话 The guy I bought it from seemed like a real straight shooter.
这么说是我该说对不起了? 你说那个卖酒的不是好人了 You mean the drug dealer at the liquor store wasn't a good guy?
镇静下来 Let's just calm down.
镇静个屁 他给我们下药 我丢了颗牙 和妓女结婚 You fucking calm down! He drugged us. I lost a tooth. I married a whore.
-你怎么能那么说 她人很好 -你他妈傻逼 - How dare you! She's a nice lady. - You are such a fucking moron.
-你的话真难听 -滚你妈的 - Your language is offensive. - Fuck you!
我们深呼吸 静一下心 All right, let's just take a deep breath, okay?
伙计们这也是件好事 Seriously, this is a good thing.
至少不是什么别的人 出于别的目的给我们下药 At least it's not some stranger who drugged us for God knows what reason.
你说得对菲尔 这完全是件好事 Yeah, you're right, Phil, it's totally a good thing.
我们现在很爽了 We're so much better off now.
我要提醒你们两个 Here's something I would like to remind you two of:
我们最好的朋友道格可能已经被扔到沟里了 Our best friend Doug is probably facedown in a ditch right now...
而他的脑袋还兴奋的在尸体上晃悠呢 ...with a meth-head butt-fucking his corpse.
-那不可能 -那是真的 - That's highly unlikely. - It's true.
这没有用 让我们齐心协力 伙计们 Does not help. All right, let's get our shit together, guys.
一起回宾馆 我要打几个电话 Let's go back to the hotel, and I'm gonna make a couple calls.
说不定道格已经回去了 说不定他现在睡觉呢 Maybe Doug's back there. Maybe he's asleep.
快点 我们走吧 Come on. Let's go.
-斯图 拉我一把? -闭嘴 - Stu? Little help? - Shut up.
-哦 -老天 你还好吗? 艾伦 真对不起 - Ow. - Oh, God. Oh, God, are you okay?
-我还好 -艾伦 真对不起 - Yeah, I'm fine. - Alan, I'm sorry.
等等 伙计们 Wait, guys. Guys.
那头老虎怎么办? 万一它跑出来了? What about the tiger? What if he got out?
我都忘了那头该死的老虎了 Oh, fuck. I keep forgetting about the goddamn tiger.
它是怎么跑进去的? How the fuck did he get in there?
-我不知道 因为我不! 记! 得! 了! -斯图 小点声 - I don't know, because I don't remember. - Shh. Stu. Stu, keep it down.
飞魂的副作用之一 就是失忆 Because one of the, uh, side effects of, uh, roofies is memory loss.
你真是2到我都懒得骂你 You are literally too stupid to insult.
-谢谢你 -喂 - Thank you. - Hey.
拜托 Hey, come on.
我们走的时候开着音乐吗? Did we leave the music on?
慢点 Don't make any sudden movements.
-你究竟是谁? -你们究竟是谁? - Who the hell are you? - No, who are you?
安静 安静 Quiet, quiet.
麦克·泰森? Mike Tyson?
嘘 现在放的是我最喜欢的那段 Shh. This is my favorite part coming up right now.
合唱 伙计们 Need a chorus line, guys.
再来一次 伙计们 One more time, guys.
老天 Oh, Jesus!
我靠 Oh, fuck!
你为什么要这么做? Why did you do that?
泰森先生想知道 为什么他的老虎会在你们的浴室里 Mr. Tyson would like to know why is his tiger in your bathroom.
等等 这完全是个误会 Hold on, that was completely unnecessary.
我是你的忠实拳迷 当你打败霍姆斯... I'm a huge fan. When you knocked out Holmes, that was...
少废话 Explain.
好吧 我们昨晚被下药了 什么都不记得了 All right, look, we were drugged last night. We have no memory of what happened.
是真的 It's true.
我们昨晚惹了N多麻烦 现在我们连我们的朋友都找不到了 We got in all kinds of trouble last night and now we can't find our friend.
如果你想杀了我们 悉听尊便 因为我已经不在乎了 If you wanna kill us, go ahead because I don't care anymore.
-你在胡说什么? -我不在乎 - What are you talking about? - I don't care.
你们究竟为什么要偷他的老虎? Why the fuck would you wanna steal his tiger?
我们喝醉的时候都会做傻事 We tend to do dumb shit when we're fucked up.
-我不相信你们 -等等 你们是怎么找到我们的? - I don't believe these guys, man. - Wait, how did you guys find us?
你们中的一个掉了外套 被我们今天早上在虎笼里找到了 One of you dropped your jacket. Found it in the tigers' cage this morning.
那是道格的 That's Doug's.
对 道格 里面有他的钱包和房卡 Yeah, Doug. His wallet and his room key is in there.
-他就是我们失踪的朋友 -我管那些呢 - No, that's our missing friend. - I don't give a fuck.
-你们看见他了吗? -我睡得正香 - Did you guys see him? - I was fast asleep.
因为如果他在哪儿 事情就简单多了 Because if he was up, this wouldn't have gone down so smoothly.
说不定老虎会象吃掉欧玛那样吃掉他们 Maybe one of the tigers ate his ass like Omar.
默哀 Respect.
欧玛怎么了? Wha... What happened to Omar?
别管欧玛了 他已经不在了 Oh, don't worry about Omar, he's not with us no more.
我知道这有点过分 Okay, I know this is asking a lot...
可是我们可不可以去你家找找 ...but do you think we could go to your house and look around...
看有没有关于我们朋友的线索 ...see if there's any clues?
当然 不然你们准备怎么把老虎送回去? Absolutely. How else you think we're gonna get the tiger back anyway?
-走吧 拳王 -什么? - Come on, champ. - I'm sorry?
我们可不会把它放在宾利车里 你们把它带来的 你们把它送回去 We're not gonna put it in the Bentley. You brought it here, you bring it back.
意下如何? 40分钟够了吧? What you think, about 40 minutes?
可别让我为它再来一次 Don't make me come back for him.
-那是麦克·泰森 -如假包换的麦克·泰森 - That was Mike Tyson. - Yeah, no shit that was Mike Tyson.
我说吧 他还很能打 I'm just saying, he's still got it.
艾伦 Alan.
你没事吧? Bud, are you okay?
-天哪 -妈的 - Oh, my God. - Shit!
他打他哪里了? Fuck, where'd he get him?
这不公平 This does not seem fair.
我们用的是石头 剪刀 布 没有比这更公平的了 It's Rock, Paper, Scissors. There's nothing more fair.
-应该轮到艾伦 -艾伦刚挨了麦克·泰森一拳 - Alan should do it. - Alan took a punch from Mike Tyson.
快点 为了道格 Come on. For Doug.
你干嘛在牛排上撒胡椒? 你又不知道老虎喜不喜欢胡椒 Why are you peppering the steak? You don't know if tigers like pepper.
老虎喜欢胡椒 他们讨厌肉桂 Tigers love pepper. They hate cinnamon.
菲尔 快 该你上了 Phil, just do it. You should do it.
我会去 可是你输了 这可不对 I would, but you lost. It wouldn't be right.
我塞了5片飞魂在里面 Okay, I jammed five roofies in there.
只要跑进去丢给它 Just go in there and throw it in to him.
好吧 Fine.
确保它把整块肉都吃了 Make sure he eats the whole thing.
我靠 Fuck.
靠 Oh, fuck.
嘿 小猫咪 Hey, kitty.
嘿 宝贝 没事 这是给你的零食 Hey, sweetie, it's okay. I got a little snack for you.
最重要的是你得吃这个 好吗 Real important that you eat this, okay?
只要吃一点... Yeah, just have a little...
妈的 Shit!
我们现在怎么办? What do we do now?
等着 We wait.
它们会梦见什么 What do tigers dream of
当老虎打虎盹时 When they take a little tiger snooze?
他们会梦见大嚼斑马 Do they dream of mauling zebras
还是穿着猫女装的哈里·贝瑞 Or Halle Berry in her catwoman suit?
你别担心 可爱的斑纹脑袋 Don't you worry your pretty striped head
我们会把你送回到泰森家还有你那舒适的虎窝 We're gonna get you back to Tyson And your cozy tiger bed
我们会找到我们的好朋友道格 And then we're gonna find Our best friend Doug
我们会给他一个好朋友的拥抱 And then we're gonna give him A best-friend hug
道格 Doug
道格 小狗 道格 小狗 Doug, Dougie, Dougie, Doug, Doug
但要是他被吸毒者杀了 But if he's been murdered By crystal-meth tweakers
我们就霉运临头了 Well, then we're shit out of luck
总有一天我们都会死的 By the way, we're all gonna die.
等等 Wait.
-天哪 -小心 - Oh, God. - Watch it!
碰它鼻子了 His nose. That's his nose.
请你不要停下来 Please don't stop. Please don't stop.
请不要...该死的 Please don't... Goddamn it.
-我能打败你 哈哈哈 - I'm gonna beat you! Ha-ha-ha.
他又赢了 Oh... He won again.
-小伙子们 昨天玩的挺疯的吧 -恩 - Hey, fellas. Rough night? - Mm-hm.
甜心 到妈妈那边去 Sweetie, stay close to Mama.
-这是什么 -哇 - What's this? - Whoa, whoa, whoa.
冷静点 小子 你别碰那个 Take it easy, little man. You don't wanna be touching that.
不 那里可不是你们的地盘 No, partner, that's not your property.
你们有什么 So, what do you guys got under there?
就一点'关你屁事' Just a whole bunch of "mind your own business."
-冷静点 菲尔 -他是对的 都是我的错 - Easy, Phil. - He's correct. My fault.
-你还好吧 -我们不乘电梯吗 - You okay? - Aren't we riding an elevator?
为什么 有危险吗 这是放他妈什么屁 Why, is this Jeopardy? What the fuck is this bullshit?
-说话注意点 -好吧 - Please, with the language. - Yes.
-我同意 -哦 - I fully agree. - Oh.
伙计们 下一次哈雷彗星来访是什么时候? Hey, guys, when's the next Halley's comet?
-谁管它 伙计 -你知道吗 斯图 - Who cares, man? - Do you know, Stu?
我想不需要再等60几年 I don't think it's for, like, another 60 years or something.
-不是今晚 对吗? -不是 我想不是 - But it's not tonight, right? - No, I don't think so.
可是你确定吗? But you don't know for sure?
确定 No.
我有一个外甥 他见过一次 说是十分震撼 I got this cousin who saw one. He said it blew his mind.
我可不想错过哈雷彗星 I wanna make sure I never, ever miss out on a Halley's Comet.
所以如果你们要是知道什么时候有... So if you guys know if there's gonna be one...
我靠 Oh, fuck!
-天哪 -我靠 - Oh, my God! - Fuck it!
斯图 它抓到我了 Stu! Stu, it got me! Stu!
你被抓了 在流血 You got clawed! You're bleeding!
-噢 -我惊慌失措了 - Oh. - I'm panicking.
-啊 -天哪 - Aah! - Oh, my God.
好了 好了 等等 Okay. Okay, okay. Wait, hold on.
-我做不到 -把你的烂手放回去 - I can't do it. - Get your fucking hand back in there...
-你得控制车的方向 -我太紧张咧 ...and steer the car. - I'm too nervous.
艾伦 我们需要你 是你发光发热的时候了 明白吗? Alan. We need you, buddy. This is your time to shine, okay?
好吧 切 Okay, yeah. Whew.
我爸爸会杀了我的 Daddy's gonna kill me.
-就这样 -很好 - That's it. - That's good.
把车头摆正 Keep it straight.
-你们迟到了 -随便吧 - You're late. - Whatever, man.
我们不得不推着车走完最后一里路 We had to push it the last mile.
进来吧 麦克有东西要给你们看 Come on in. Mike's got something he wants to show you.
事态有些失控 伙计 你负责把它弄下来 That thing's out of control, man. Seriously, you gotta put it down.
我们回家后 查看了监控录像 When we got back, we took a look at the security cameras.
太好了 Great.
你就这么走路的 This is how you walk. This is how you walk.
-哦 是道格 -谢天谢地 - Oh, it's Doug. - Oh, thank God he's alive.
那是我们的朋友 我们在找的那个 That's our buddy. That's who we've been missing.
我们都是好朋友 We're all best friends.
你们干嘛不认真点看 我可没空整晚陪着你们 Why don't you just pay attention? I don't have all night.
是 当然 Yeah, of course. Of course.
-你在干嘛 -嘿 大家快看 看这个 - What are you doing? - Hey, guys. Check it out. Watch this.
那是我 我上电视了 我还从没上过电视呢 That's me, I'm on TV. I've never been on TV before.
你在干嘛 老兄 What are you doing, man?
这是真的吗? 这是真的吗 艾伦? Really? Really, Alan?
你还拿了消防水管 You got a fire hose, man?
额 那个 我在... Yeah, I was, uh...
游泳池都被你灌满了 伙计 You're gonna overflow the pool, man.
不如 我到外面等着? 这个主意不错 - Maybe... Should I wait outside? - I think that's a good idea, Alan.
是 Yeah.
不许碰外面的任何东西 Don't touch anything out there, either.
他不是我们的好... 我跟他不熟 You know what? He's not our good fr... We don't know him that well.
快点 快点 Come on. Come on, come on.
顺便问一下 伙计 你们从哪里弄来的警车? By the way, where you get that cop car from?
我们从傻逼条子那里偷来的 We, uh, stole it from these dumb-ass cops.
干得漂亮 Nice.
击掌! High five that one.
干得好 Yeah, that's nice.
我不得不说 You know, I just have to say...
那是我见过的最漂亮 最优雅 最华丽的生物了 ...I have never seen a more beautiful, elegant, just regal creature.
看啊 斯图 干这老虎 Check it out. Stu. Stu. Fuck this tiger.
-哦 老天 太囧了 -天哪 - Oh, my God. That's awful. - Oh, man.
谁会干这种事儿 伙计? Oh, shit. - Who does shit like that, man?
有些人明显很傻逼 比如我 Someone who has a lot of issues, obviously. I'm a sick man.
天哪 Oh, my God.
我们有的就这些 That's all we got.
这真是太有用了 This was hugely helpful.
真的 因为现在我们知道 Really. Because now we know that our buddy Doug...
我们的朋友道格3:30时还活着 ...was with us at 3:30, totally alive.
再次感谢你 拳王 我们十分抱歉我们偷了你的老虎 Thanks again, champ. And, uh, again, we are so sorry we stole your tiger.
别再提了 Don't worry about it, man.
正如你所说 我们喝醉时都会做傻事 Like you said, we all do dumb shit when we're fucked up.
-我就说他会明白的嘛 -我的确说过 - I told you he'd get it. - I did say that.
所有人都说麦克·泰森是个坏蛋 You know, everyone says Mike Tyson is such a badass...
但我觉得他挺讨人喜欢的 ...but I think he's kind of a sweetheart.
我觉得他不错 I think he's mean.
我认为现在是给崔西打电话的时候了 All right. I think it's officially time we call Tracy.
老天保佑 菲尔总算说了些靠谱的话 Hallelujah. Finally, Phil says something that makes sense.
我们别无选择 说不定她已经接到道格的电话了 We don't have much of a choice. And maybe she's heard from Doug.
我不是一直都这么说的 That's what I been saying this whole time.
我们只需要坦诚的 把所有事都告诉她 We just need to be completely honest. We need to tell her everything.
我们没必把所有事都告诉她 我们可以省略那段 We don't have to tell her everything. We can leave out the stuff...
我和妓女结婚的 ...about me marrying a hooker.
只关注道格 Just stay focused on Doug.
-我该怎么跟我爸爸说这辆车? -艾伦 别紧张 只是里面坏了而已 - What am I gonna tell my dad? - Alan, relax. It's just the inside.
我在洛杉矶认识一个人 他对车内装修很在行 Come on. I got a guy in L.A. Who's great with interiors.
-哦 天哪 -哦 老天 - Oh, Jesus! - Oh, my God.
-你们没事吧? -我靠 - Are you guys okay? - What the fuck?
我认识那个人 后车厢里的那个 I know that guy. That's the guy from the trunk.
请 下 车 Get out of the car. Please.
等等 他们是开枪打了艾迪的人 W... W... Wait. Those are the guys that shot Eddie.
-听我说 -开车 - Listen... - Let's go!
-好 -不 - Okay. - Oh, no.
-冷静 冷静 -快点 - Easy, easy. - Come on.
好好 Okay. All right.
-好了 -开车 - All right, all right. - Let's go.
放松点 嘿 Hey, relax. Ow. Ow. Ow!
-我有皮鞭 -找这个小胖子 - I have whiplash. - Get this other fat boy.
搞那个小胖子 Get the fat boy.
-好了 好了 -冷静点 - All right, all right. - Hey, take it easy, take it easy!
我想拿回我的钱包 混蛋 I want my purse back, assholes.
-你的钱包? -那不是钱包 那是单肩包 - What? Your purse? - That's not a purse, it's a satchel.
那是个钱包 好不好? 你们偷错人了 It's a purse. Okay? And you steal from wrong guy.
等等 我们偷你? Wait a second, wait a second. We stole from you?
你知道吗 Okay, you know what?
我们完全不记得昨晚发生的事情了 We don't remember anything that happened last night...
请帮我们回忆一下 ...so help us out a little here.
显然 你们是昨晚在牌桌上遇见的 Well, apparently you guys met at a craps table late last night.
你玩牌时手气真旺 You were on a heater, and he played your hot streak.
-最后赢了将近8万块 -什么 8万块 不赖啊 - He ended up winning just under 80 grand. - No shit? Eighty grand is nice.
那很好 Okay, that's good.
你们把筹码放进他的钱包 然后逃跑了 He put the chips in his purse, and then you guys took off with it.
这听起来不太象我们 That doesn't sound like us.
我的钱包里有8万块钱 这个呢? 什么也没有 Mine had $80,000 inside. And this one? Nothing.
嘿 里面有彩虹糖! Hey, there are Skittles in there.
不要 Ow! Oh, not again.
别跟这个大胡子闹了 他很幼稚的 Don't let the beard fool you. He's a child.
他很好笑因为他很胖 It's funny because he's fat.
这是个百分百的误会 Now, look, this was obviously a very simple misunderstanding.
艾伦拿错了包 没什么大不了的 Alan picked up the wrong purse, it's no big deal.
如果没什么大不了 我为什么跟着你们的时候 Okay, if it's, "No big deal," why, when I come after you guys...
他象发疯一样的尖叫 把我扔进了后车厢 ...he starts screaming like crazy and throw me in trunk?
我这么做了? What, I did that?
你说我是你的幸运星 你想把我带回家 Yeah, you said he was your lucky charm, and you want to take him home with you.
-幸运星 -太搞笑了 - Lucky charm. - Oh, it's just funny.
去你的 Fuck you.
如果你们想再见到你们的朋友 还我的8万块 If you want to see your friend again, you get me my 80 grand.
-什么? -我们的朋友? - What? - Our friend?
-你抓了道格? -你知道我们朋友在哪 - You have Doug? - You know about our friend?
-道格 -道格 - Doug! - Doug!
-道格在车里 道格在车里 -道格 你没事的 - Doug's in the car! Doug's in the car! - Doug, it's okay!
放轻松 小胡子 You chill out, goatee!
-好 好 -你想怎样 - Okay, okay. All right, fine, fine. - What do you want?
不怎么样 补偿 白痴 Not so good now. Quid pro quo, douche bag.
什么 What?
我们十分抱歉 这事很好解决 Look, we're very sorry. But this is an easy fix.
-艾伦 他的钱包在哪里? -我不知道 - Alan, where's his purse? - I don't know.
-你说它在酒店房间里 对吗? -我们可以去拿 - It's in the hotel room, right? - Yeah, we can get it.
我们可以拿来给你 我们甚至可以现在就写张支票给你 We can get you the... We can even write you a check right now.
没门 只收现金 No chance. Cash only.
-事关人命 -无聊 - There's a person in there. - Boring.
睡觉去了 走吧 Take nap. Come on.
等等 不好意思让你绝对闷了 Wait. I'm sorry we're boring you!
-道格 没事的 -你绑架了我们的朋友 绑匪! - Doug, it's okay. - You kidnapped our friend! Kidnapper!
-等等 -不行 你哪也不能去 - Wait. - Oh, no. You're not going anywhere.
停 Stop.
停 来撞我啊 Stop. Run me over.
-啊 啊 啊 -斯图 斯图 - Okay. Whoa. Whoa. - Stu, Stu, Stu.
天亮时把钱带去马佳维沙漠的巨石边 Bring money to Big Rock in Mojave Desert at dawn.
-什么 -再见了您内 小样 - What? - Toodle-oo, motherfucker.
至少把他头上的袋子拿下来 靠 Well, at least take the bag off his head! Fuck!
走开 Come on, get out of here.
伙计们 我跟你们说我早上走的时候就找过 哪儿也没有 Guys, I'm telling you, I looked for it this morning before we left. It's not anywhere.
靠 Fuck.
斯图 你银行里还有多少钱 Stu, how much you got in the bank?
大概1万块 或许更多 我准备用来结婚的 About 10 grand. I was gonna use it for the wedding.
你已经结婚了 所以我们有救了 You're already married, so we're good there.
和梅丽莎掰了 没人比她更差劲的了 Besides, enough with Melissa, she's the worst.
道格告诉我她和一个飞行员还是什么的做爱 Yeah, Doug told me she had sex with a pilot or something.
是游轮上的酒保 你们这些人都有什么毛病 It was a bartender on a cruise. What is wrong with you people?
-艾伦 你在吃掉在沙发里的比萨吗? -对 - Ew. Alan, did you just eat sofa pizza? - Yes.
我们该怎么办 我们太失败了 What are we gonna do? We are so fucked.
嘿 兄弟们 Hey, guys?
-你找到了吗? -没 - Did you find it? - Nope.
但是 看这 But check this out.
全部换成筹码 一万块 Change only, 10,000.
-嗨 这里有人吗? -没 随便坐 - Hey, uh, these seats taken? - No, feel free.
来玩21点 All right, let's play some blackjack!
行了 闭嘴 文森特 That's it. Shut up, bitches.
-我跟 -我操 - I'll stick. - Oh, fuck you! Fuck you!
一分五 分牌 Splitting fives.
-太多了 -是啊 - Too many. - Yes!
我不认识你 但是我要跟你说 太蠢了 I don't even know you, but I'm gonna tell you that's dumb.
嗨 来吧 他不会输的 Okay, come on. He can't lose. He can't lose.
我觉得赌场领班正在监视他 I think the pit boss is watching him.
-天哪 -你没事吧 - Oh, my God. - Are you okay?
我真是笨手笨脚 我一赌就紧张 我太笨了 I'm such a klutz. I get so nervous when I gamble. I'm so silly.
-就是这样的 -悠着点 - It happens. - Whoa. Hold on a beat, okay?
-轻点你 这是我老婆 -好疼 - Let's just take it easy. This is my wife. - It's hurting.
你得确定... 疼吗 Make sure... Does it hurt? Does this hurt?
-噢 -你还好吧 - Oh, ow. - You all right?
-我不知道 -我也不知道 - I don't know. - I don't know either. I don't...
你没事 我们走吧 I think you're fine. Let's go.
-真的? 好 -抱歉 她喝多了 - Really? Okay. - Upsy-daisy, there.
抱歉 她喝多了 I'm sorry, she's had a little too much to drink.
谢谢 伙计 这是给你的 Thanks, buddy. That's for you.
所有这些 一共是82,400美金 With all this, that's $82,400.
-太好了 我真他妈不敢相信 -喔 - Oh, goddamn it. I don't fucking believe it. - Whoo!
-艾伦 你是个人物 -你也是 菲尔 - Alan, you're the man. - You are too, Phil.
我们下个礼拜应该再来 横扫赌城 We should come back next week, take the whole city down.
我下星期有空 Oh, I'm free next week.
或许我们现在应该先集中精力把道格找回来 Or we could just focus on getting Doug back, right now.
我下个星期不行 杰纳斯兄弟来城里 Uh, you know what? Next week's no good, the Jonas Brothers are in town.
以后哪天都行 But any week after that is totally fine.
我们时来运转了! I think it's safe to say that our luck has officially turned around, guys.
-我们回来了 宝贝 我们他妈的回来了 -我们回来了 牛逼 - We are back, baby. We are fucking back. - We're back. Classic.
我们回来了 我们回来了 We are back, we are back
对了 That's right.
我们去带道格回来 We are getting Doug back
我们三个是世人梦寐以求的挚友 And we're the three best friends That anybody could have
我们三个是世人梦寐以求的挚友 We're the three best friends That anyone could have
我们三个是世人梦寐以求的挚友 We're the three best friends That anyone can have
我们永远 永远 永远 永远 永远不分开 And we'll never, ever, ever, ever, ever Leave each other
我们三个是世人梦寐以求的挚友 We're the best three friends That anybody could have
我是说 世人梦寐以求三个的挚友 I mean, the three best friends That anybody could have
对啊 三个世人梦寐以求的挚友 That's right, the three best friends That anybody can have
-现在怎么办? -给他发信号 - Now what? - Give him the signal.
-什么信号 -闪一下车灯 让他知道开始了 - What signal? - Flash your lights. Let him know it's on.
-什么开始了 -那个交易 - What's on? - The deal.
当然开始了 我们开了30里路到这沙漠 他知道交易开始了 Of course it's on. We just drove 30 miles into the desert. He knows it's on.
菲尔 你就做点什么吧 Phil, just do something.
好 Fine.
-他妈的 -你看 - Oh, shit. - See?
好吧 快走 All right, let's go.
太搞笑了 那个胖子摔了个狗啃泥 Funny fat guy fall on face.
你还好吧 You okay?
没事 我们把钱带来了 8万块 现金 All right, we got the money. Eighty grand, cash.
把钱扔过来 我就把道格还给你们 Throw it over. Then I give you Doug.
不好意思 首先 早上好 昨晚忘了请问您尊姓大名 Um, I'm sorry. First of all, good morning. And we didn't catch your name last night.
我姓周 周莱雷 Mr. Chow. Leslie Chow.
周先生 幸会幸会 我叫斯图 Mr. Chow, it is a pleasure. My name is Stu.
如果在付款之前 我们能有幸见到道格 And we would very much appreciate an opportunity to see Doug...
能够确信他安然无恙 我们将感激不尽 ...before we give you the money, just to verify that he's okay.
-如果可以的话 -当然可以 斯图 没问题 - If that's cool. - Of course, Stu. That is cool.
-谢天谢地 -好 - Oh, thank God. - Okay.
看见了? 他很好 现在把钱给我 See, he fine. Now give me money...
不然我一枪毙了他 然后再把你们这些鸟人通通毙了 ...or I shoot him, and I shoot all you motherfuckers.
然后我们再拿钱走人 你们自己选吧 贱人 And then we take it. Your choice, bitches.
-把钱给他 斯图 -好 - Give him the money, Stu. - Okay.
-全在这儿 -放人 - It's all there. - Let him go.
好的 放松点 All right, take it easy. Take it easy.
砰砰 Ta-da.
你玩我啊 这人是谁啊 Is this some kind ofjoke? Who the hell is this?
这不是道格 That is not Doug.
威廉斯 你说什么啊 就是他啊 What you talking about, Willis? That him.
周先生 不好意思 这不是我们朋友 No, I'm sorry, Mr. Chow. That's not our friend.
我们找的那个道格是个白人 - He... That's... - The Doug we're looking for is a white.
我都跟你说你抓错人了 兔崽子 Ah! I told you you had the wrong guy, little boy.
见鬼 艾伦 你把我搅进了什么鸟事里啊 Damn, Alan, what the fuck you got me into?
-你认识他 -是啊 这是卖给我那些嗨药的人 - You know him? - This is the guy that sold me the bad drugs.
-你怎样 -我他妈没有卖给你什么嗨药 - How you doing? - I didn't sell you no fucking bad drugs.
-等等 是他把飞魂卖给你的? -飞魂? 我卖个你的是飞.. 什么 - Wait. He sold you the Ruphylin? - Ruphylin? I sold you that Ru...? Wha...?
-管他呢 道格在哪儿 -我就是道格 - Who gives a shit? Where is Doug? - I am Doug.
-你叫道格? -是啊 我叫道格 - Your name's Doug? - Yes, I'm Doug.
他也叫道格 这真他妈的太经典了 His name's Doug too. Ha. Classic mix-up.
走啦 Come on.
-姓周的 你给我们的是假道格 -不关我事 - Hey, Chow. You gave us the wrong Doug. - Not my problem.
我操 你把八万美金还来 把人带走 No, fuck that shit. Now, you give us our 80 grand back and take him with you!
-不 别这样嘛兄弟 我就当你们的道格 -行啊 没问题 我会把他带走 - No. Come on. I'll be your Doug. - Oh, yeah, okay. Oh, I take him back.
但你们要吸我的中式小鸡鸡 Right after you suck on these little Chinese nuts.
-噢 你真下流 -这建议如何 - Ah. That's nasty. - Mmm. How that sound?
-基佬们 再见啦 -等一下 - So long, gay boys. - Wait a second.
他真是个淫贱的小王八蛋 He's a nasty little motherfucker.
你有摇头丸吗 Did you ever get any ecstasy?
我他妈没卖摇头丸 No, I ain't got no fucking ecstasy.
-天哪 该死 -神哪 倒霉 - Goddamn it! - Gosh darn it!
-我靠 -妈的 - Shit! - Shoot!
-喂 -崔西 我是菲尔 - Hello? - Ahem, Tracy, it's Phil.
菲尔 你们到底在哪 我要抓狂了 Phil, where the hell are you guys? I'm freaking out.
你听我说 Yeah, listen.
我们倒霉了 We fucked up.
谢谢你们把我载回城 Thanks for the lift back to town.
-我想问你个问题 -什么 - I got a question for you. - What's up?
你怎么进那个姓周的车里的? How did you wind up in Chow's car?
那个发疯的混蛋昨天绑架了我 That crazy asshole kidnapped me yesterday.
为什么呢 我是说 为什么是你呢 Okay, but why? I mean, why you?
因为他以为我是和你们一起的 因为我们昨晚都在百乐宫玩 He thought I was with you guys because we were hanging over at the Bellagio.
-什么 -我们昨晚都在百乐宫玩 - What? - We were at the Bellagio?
是啊 我们在那儿玩色子了 不记得了? We were shooting craps. You don't remember?
不记得 No. No, we don't remember.
因为有个鸡巴毒贩子 卖飞魂给他还骗他说是摇头丸 Because some dick drug dealer sold him Ruphylin and told him it was ecstasy.
飞魂 你刚刚说的那个词 飞魂 飞魂到底是什么 Ruphylin. There you go with that word. Ruphylin. What the hell is a Ruphylin?
噢 你是全世界最"牛B"的毒贩子 Wow, you are the world's shittiest drug dealer.
魂飞 仅供你参考 就是约会强奸药 你卖飞魂给艾伦 Ruphylin, for your information, is the date-rape drug. You sold Alan roofies.
靠 一定是我不小心搞混了 我错 Oh, shit. I must have mixed up the bags. My fault, Alan.
见鬼 马萨一定会因此对我发飙 Damn, Marshall gonna be pissed off at me on that one.
-无所谓 -这真搞笑 就在前几天 - Whatever. - It's funny, because just the other day...
我和我兄弟还在纳闷为什么你们都叫它飞魂 ...me and my boy, we was wondering why they even call them roofies.
-你知道我在说什么吧 -不知道 - You know what I'm talking about? - No. Don't know.
为什么不叫Floories(floor有地板的意思)呢 （地魂？） 因为当你吃了以后 Why not floories, right? Because when you take them...
你更想在地板上而不是屋顶上去做事 ...you're more likely to end up on the floor than the roof.
Groundies(ground有底层的意思)呢 也是个好名字 （底魂？） What about groundies? That's a good new name for them.
那Rapies怎么样 Or, how about rapies?
-等等 你刚刚说什么 -Rapies - Wait, what did you just say? - Rapies.
-没说你 道格 你刚才说什么了 -我说Groundies - Not you. Doug, what did you say before? - I said groundies.
不是 再前面 你说... No, before that.
你更想在地板上而不是... You said, "You're more likely to wind up on the floor than..."
-菲尔 -听着 崔西 我真的很抱歉 - Phil. - Listen, Trace, I'm really sorry. L...
-喂 -崔西 我是斯图 - Phil? Hello? - Tracy, it's Stu.
斯图 快跟我说 出什么事了 Stu. Talk to me. What's going on?
没事 别听菲尔的 他彻底神经了 Uh, nothing. Don't listen to Phil.
他彻底神经了 可能是昨晚的烂醉还没让他酒醒 He's completely out of his mind. He's probably still drunk from last night.
道格在哪儿 Where's Doug?
他在结账呢 我们刚吃完一顿美味的早午餐 He is paying the bill. We just had a delicious brunch.
我们现在正急着回去 所以我们要走了 We're in a hurry to get back, so we gotta get going.
-好了 一会儿见 -斯图 - Okay, we'll see you soon. Bye. - Stu.
斯图 我靠 Stu. Fuck.
-我靠 你干嘛呢 -我知道道格在哪了 - What the fuck, man? - I know where Doug is.
我不知道 你吓着我了 I don't know, man. It just hit me.
还记得我们看到道格的床垫钉在雕像上吗 You remember when we saw Doug's mattress impaled on that statue?
-嗯 那是因为我们把它从窗户扔出去了 -恩 不可能 - Yeah, we threw it out the window. - No, impossible.
-你在维加斯酒店打不开窗户 -那它怎么... - You can't open windows in Vegas hotels. - Well, then how did it get...?
-天哪 -哈哈哈 - Oh, my God! - Ha, ha, ha.
-等等 怎么回事 -是道格在向我们发出信号 - Whoa, wait. What's going on? - Doug was trying to signal someone.
-真的是 -对啊 - Holy shit. - Yes.
-我靠 你怎么想到的? -道格让我想到的 - Wait. How did you figure that out? - Doug made me realize it.
-道格 -不是我们的道格 是黑人道格 - Doug? - Uh, not our Doug. Black Doug.
-喂 这问题上别这么斤斤计较好吗 -不好意思 - Hey, hey, easy with that shit. Come on. - Sorry.
有谁可以告诉我白人道格在哪儿吗 Can someone tell me where white Doug is?
-他在屋顶 艾伦 -是 - He's on the roof, Alan. - Yes.
正确 他在屋顶 一定是我们恶作剧把他放在床垫上抬上去了 He's on the roof. We must have taken him up there as a prank...
-然后他就在房顶上醒来 -就像当年在夏令营那样 ...so he'd wake up on the roof. - Like that time in summer camp.
把他的睡袋搬到了湖边的防波题上 We moved his sleeping bag out in the jetty at the lake?
真是太好笑了 Ha, ha, ha. Which was hilarious.
不过这次没那么好笑了 因为我们忘了把他放在哪儿了 It's not so funny now, though, because we forgot where we put him.
你们还真是他妈的反应迟钝 知道不? You guys are retarded, you know that?
-我靠 你觉得他还在上面? -想要确认 方法只有一个 - Holy shit. You think he's still up there? - There's only one way to find out.
道格 Doug!
-道格 -你在上面吗 老兄 - Doug! - Doug, you up here, buddy?
道格你在哪 Where you at, Doug?
道格 Doug!
嘿 伙计们 Hey, guys!
他在这里 He's over here!
-嘿 我们找到他了 他在这里 -我靠 - Hey, I found him! He's over here! - Oh, shit.
他没事 He's okay.
你没事 哈哈哈哈 You're okay. Ha, ha, ha!
天啊 哥们 我们该走了 起来 Oh, God. We gotta go, buddy. Come on.
我们到处找你 Oh, we have been looking everywhere for you.
-他还活着 -到底他妈的怎么回事 - He's alive. - What the fuck is going on?
我们可以解释全部事情 但是现在该走了 We can explain everything, but right now we gotta go.
-老兄 你还好吧 -不好 - Hey, bud. You okay? - No. Not okay.
你看上去气色不错啊 "红光满面" 我羡慕啊 You look good, you got some color. I'm jealous.
-我今天要结婚 -对啊 - I'm getting married today. - Yes, you are.
所以你现在要集中精神 照着我们说的做 That's why you need to focus and do everything we say.
因为你现在在浪费时间 Because, frankly, you're wasting a little bit of time right now.
混蛋! You fucking asshole!
噢 我的皮肤灼热 Oh, my skin burns. My skin burns.
天啊 Oh, ow! God.
-没事 这不是你的错 道格 -不要碰我 闭嘴 - It's okay. It's not your fault, Doug. - Don't touch me. Shut up.
你们通通闭嘴 All of you, shut up.
带我回家 Just get me home.
快带我回家 Just get me home.
再之后那班呢? What about the one after that?
你开玩笑吧 You cannot be serious.
该死 Oh, goddamn it.
-什么 -所有去洛杉矶的航班都订满了 - What? - Every flight to L.A. Is booked.
-伯班克的呢? -已经全部售完了 - What about Burbank? - Sold out.
操 我们不能开车回去 还有三个半小时婚礼就要开始了 Oh, fuck! We can't drive there, the wedding starts in three and a half hours.
-艾伦 车在哪儿 -在路上 - Alan, where's the car? - It's on its way.
你猜怎样 You know what?
我们驾车回去 我们来得及的 好吗 We can drive there. We can make it. Okay?
-等我一下 -我们丢下你算啦 - Just give me one second. - We will leave without you.
-他是掉了一颗牙吗 -没错 - Is he missing a tooth? - Yeah.
谢谢你昨晚的帮忙 太棒了 Hey, thanks for helping out last night. That was so awesome.
没问题 Sure.
听我说 杰德 Listen, Jade, l...
你不用说了 我都懂 Look, you don't have to say it. I totally understand.
-整件事情都很愚蠢 -啊 - This whole thing was stupid. - Huh.
的确很愚蠢 It was stupid, wasn't it?
-这是你的 -谢谢你 - This is yours. - Oh, thank you.
谢谢 真不敢相信我竟然把外婆经历大屠杀时戴的的戒指给了一个刚刚认识的人 I can't believe I gave my grandmother's Holocaust ring to someone I just met.
-你当时怎么想的 -我当时醉得像摊烂泥 - What was I thinking? - You were really fucked up.
很明显 Clearly.
-你真的把自己的牙齿拔出来了 -我... - You did pull out your own tooth. - L...?
把自己的牙齿拔出来了 I pulled out my tooth?
我干嘛要拔我自己的牙齿啊? Why did I pull out my own tooth?
艾伦和你打赌说你不是一个好牙医 Alan bet you that you weren't a good enough dentist...
不能为自己拔牙 ...to pull out your own tooth.
这样啊 Okay. Heh.
-他当然这么说 -可是你赢了 - Of course he did. - You won.
是啊 显然 Yeah. Clearly. Yeah.
这是胜利的象征 这儿 That's victory, right there.
把这个放下去 It needs to go down.
-这样挺好 -不行 安全第一 - It's good. Get in. - No. Safety first.
-艾伦 没事 放下去了 -不行 我要先把它放下去 - Alan, it's fine. It's down. - No, I gotta get it down first.
-天哪 看着点 -别把车搞坏了 - Jesus Christ. Look out. - Don't mess the car up.
你这样会把车搞坏的 You're gonna mess the car up.
-下礼拜周末有什么计划 -不知道 工作吧 怎么? - Hey, what are you doing next weekend? - I don't know. Working. Why?
我在想我是不是可以回来 然后我们一起去吃个饭什么的 I was thinking maybe I'd come back and take you out to dinner.
真的? 就像约会? Really? Like a date?
是啊 就像约会 就是希望我能记得 Yeah. Like a date. Only, one that hopefully I'll remember.
听起来不错 Sounds good.
-斯图 走啦 -斯图 走啦 - Stu. Come on. - Stu. Come on.
我该走了 再见 I gotta go. Okay. Bye.
-再见 -再见 - Bye. - Bye.
好 出发 All right, here we go.
好 出发 - All right, let's go. - Yeah.
小心 Careful.
至少这次旅行没有彻底失败 At least the trip wasn't a total disaster.
-你怎么这么说 -当我在屋顶上醒来时 我发现 - What makes you say that? - When I woke up on the roof...
我的口袋里有价值8万美金的百乐宫币 ...I happened to find $80,000 worth of Bellagio chips in my pocket.
-哇 -天哪 - Oh! - Oh, my God!
看起来我们能带些钱回家啦 兄弟们 Looks like we're going home with some money, boys.
他来了 是他 Here he comes. That's him.
-嘿 维克多 -出什么事了 - Hey, Neeco! - Hey. What's up, Alan?
-噢 小心 -靠 - Whoa, look out. - Oh, shit.
-维克 谢了 -一路平安 - Thanks, Neeco. - You got it, man.
呼我 Page me!
-那家伙是谁啊 -我朋友 - Who the hell was that guy? - That's my buddy.
抱歉 我们刚结束一次超级疯狂的旅行 Hey. Sorry, MapQuest took us on a really crazy route.
-我发型怎么样 -挺好的 - How's my hair? - It looks good.
-和菲尔的看起来一样有型? -古典版菲尔 - Is it cool like Phil's? - It's classic Phil.
她真美 She looks beautiful, man.
抱歉我迟到了 Sorry I'm late.
维加斯 Vegas.
你去哪儿了? 而且为什么你脸这么红? Where were you? And why are you so red?
亲爱的 说来话长 Honey, it's a long story.
我们今天聚集在此 We are gathered here today...
是为了爱情的力量和彼此间的承诺 ...because of the strength of love and of promises kept.
我只知道 我真的很抱歉 All I know is I am so sorry.
我答应你 结婚以后 And I promise for as long as we're married...
我永远永远不会再让你再经历这种事情 ...to never, ever put you through anything like this again.
你可以原谅我吗 Can you forgive me?
-爸爸 -嘿 儿子 - Daddy. - Hey, my man.
抱歉 我老公可能很快就来 Excuse me, but I'm expecting my husband any minute.
你真幽默 过来 Oh, that's very funny. Come here.
你的足球比赛怎样 How was your soccer game?
-斯图 你自爱避着我吗 -嘿 梅丽莎 - Stu? You avoiding me? - Hey. Melissa.
老天爷 你的牙怎么了 Oh, my God. What happened to your tooth?
你见过艾伦了吗 崔西的弟弟 Have you met Alan? Tracy's brother. Brother of the...
哦 Okay. Ow.
真够恶心的 你怎么不会我电话 That is disgusting. Why haven't you returned my calls?
当时乱得一团糟 当时我们被困在... Well, there was a snafu when we stopped...
我打电话到那帕查询你们的住宿和早餐 I called that bed and breakfast in Napa.
他们说根本没有你们入住的记录 They said they had no record of you even checking in.
因为我们根本就没有去那帕 That's because we didn't go to Napa.
-斯图 到底怎么回事 -我们去了维加斯 - Stu. What the fuck is going on? - We went to Las Vegas.
哦 真的? 拉斯维加斯? 为什么你们会去拉斯维加斯 Oh, really? Las Vegas? Why would you go to Las Vegas?
因为我最好的朋友要结婚了 是男人就都这么做 My friend was getting married. That's what guys do.
-真的? 你真就这么做了! -真的 - Okay, that's not what you do. - Really?
然后就问为什么我要这么做? 因为我就是这么做了 我也不知道! Well, then why did I do it, huh? Because I did it. Riddle me that.
为什么我这么做? Why'd I do it?
你只想让我做你喜欢的是 All you want me to do is what you want me to do.
我厌倦了什么都听你的 I'm sick of doing what you want.
我觉得在一种和谐的恋爱的关系里 男人应该可以做他自己想做的事 In a healthy relationship, a guy should be able to do what he wants.
-看看你干的这一切! -好 - That is not how this works! - Oh, good.
因为无论如何 这一切都不是因为我才这样 Because whatever this is ain't working for me!
-真的吗 -是 - Oh, really? - Yeah.
从什么时候开始 Since when?
从去年6月在你出游时操了那服务生开始 Since you fucked that waiter on your cruise last June. Boom!
-你跟我说是酒保来着 -噢 对 我更正一下 是酒保 - You told me it was a bartender. - Oh, you're right. I stand corrected.
那是酒保 你和酒保乱搞 It was a bartender. You fucked a bartender.
你就是个傻逼 You're an idiot.
你 你... You're... You...
你是个大坏蛋 You're such a bad person.
一直坏到你内心最深处的坏蛋 Like, all the way through to your core.
艾伦 去跳舞吗 Alan, shall we dance?
跳舞吧 Let's do this.
-真高兴认识你 -滚开 - It was a real pleasure meeting you. - Fuck off.
-我也要考调酒证书了 -草泥马啊 - I'm getting my bartender's license. - Suck my dick.
不用了 谢谢 No, thank you.
你们 You guys are awe...
-希德 -他在这里 - Sid? - There he is.
-你要见我 -是啊 - You wanted to see me? - Yeah.
-恭喜你 -也恭喜你 - Congratulations, buddy. - Congratulations to you.
-你还让我们担心了一阵 -对不起 - You had us worried there for a second. - Sorry.
维加斯怎么样 How was Vegas?
超疯狂的 It was... Ahem. It was crazy.
好啊 Attaboy.
-喜欢那部车马 -恩 - Enjoy the car? - Mm-hm.
-记得在轮胎上放防沙板了吗 -恩恩 - Remember to put Armor All on the tires? - Mm-hm. Mm-hm.
我来问问你 Let me ask you a question.
怎么一个蛋糕就1千4百块 How can a cake cost $1400?
-高速公路抢劫 -那是犯法啊 - Highway robbery. - It's criminal.
希德 关于那辆车 Sid, ahem, about the car...
崔西告诉你了 我叫她不要告诉你 我想自己告诉你 Tracy told you. I told her not to tell you. I wanted to tell you.
-告诉我什么 -小心 道格 女人们 - Tell me what? - Careful, Doug. These women...
可不值得信任 ...can't be trusted.
-告诉我什么 希德 -那辆奔驰 - Tell me what, Sid? - The Mercedes.
是我和琳达送你的结婚礼物 It is a wedding gift from Linda and I.
-你不是开玩笑 -你觉得怎样 - Are you serious? - What do you think?
超赞的 That is awesome.
谢谢你 Thank you. Oh.
谢谢你 爸爸 谢谢你希德 Thanks, Daddy. Thanks, Sid.
把门关上 -你超好人 Close the door. - You're awesome.
你真太好了 You are awesome.
是啊 Yeah.
道格 Dougie...
我必须跟你说 这场婚礼太华丽了 ...I gotta tell you, man, this was a gorgeous wedding.
-半年之内都会让我难以忘怀 -你是个大丈夫 - I give it six months. - You're a dick.
我不知该说些什么 我想是 那个单身汉之旅 I don't know what to say. Thanks for the bachelor party, I guess?
是啊 我只希望我们还能记得些什么 Yeah. I just wish we could actually remember some of it.
-伙计们 看我发现了什么 -我的相机 - Hey, guys? Look what I found. - Whoa, that's my camera.
-对啊 被放在车后座了 -里面有照片? - It was in the back seat of the car. - Oh, Go... Are there photos on it?
是啊 有些远比我们想象的还惨烈 Yeah. Some of it's even worse than we thought.
-操 不可能吧 给我看看 -哇 等等 - No fucking way. Give me that. - Wa... Wa... Wait.
等等 等等 Wait, wait, wait.
我们一起看这些照片 就一次 We look at these pictures together, okay? One time.
-然后我们消灭掉证据 -我说干脆现在就删了 - And then we delete the evidence. - I say we delete it right now.
你疯了吗 我想知道我怎么去的医院 有照吗? Are you nuts? I wanna find out how I wound up in the hospital.
-有 就在里面 -就一次 - Yeah, it's in there. - Guys, one time.
-一言为定 -一言为定 - Deal? - Deal.
-一言为定 -好的 - Deal. - Okay.
我滴神啊 Oh, dear Lord!
太经典咧 That's classic!