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公关 第二季 第６集
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公关 第二季 第６集
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再见 内德 Cheers, Ned.
-你好吗 -我很好 - Hello. How are you doing? - I'm good.
-你好吗 -我很好 - How are you? - I'm good, yeah.
我要送这个进去 I need to get this inside.
各位 20分钟后我们将要 Alright, everyone. We're gonna rehearse
对节目开场进行彩排 the top of the show in 20 minutes.
请通知丹尼和迪帕克 Please let Danny and Deepak know.
20分钟后在一号台演播厅 That's 20 minutes in TV One.
-到了 -非常感谢 - Balls. - Thank you very much.
什么鬼 What the fuck?
里奥哈[西班牙葡萄酒] Rioja?
-当我是安东尼奥·班德拉斯吗 -丹尼 - Do I look like Antonio Banderas? - Danny!
我要阿根廷的 多拿两瓶来 Get me a couple more and get me something Argentinian.
别看她 她又不是妈妈 Don't look at her, she's not Mum.
谢丽尔肯定不会让我再见我儿子了 Cheryl won't let me see my boy again, I know it.
我就答应过她一件事 让她和儿子远离媒体 One thing, keep her and the boy out of the press. I promised her.
我们可以解决的 We can fix this.
怎么解决 木已成舟了 罗宾 Fix it? Fix it? It's happened, Robyn.
这些报纸被印出来了 These papers are being printed.
那些半退休的老头儿会开着雷诺 Semi-retired codgers are gonna be driving them
把报纸送到全国 up and down the country in their Renault Kangoos
全国人民就可以在周日早上吃着烤面饼 so the nation can enjoy my fucking breakdown
享受我的崩溃了 with the Sunday morning crumpets.
它存在 它是实体 It exists. It's solid.
它是物质 It's matter!
丹尼 Danny.
别紧张 Take it easy.
-我得吸点 -丹尼 - I need a line. - Danny!
丹尼 Danny!
你不能在那儿吸 有人看到你怎么办 You can't do that there. What if someone sees you?
怎么 他们会怎么做 去找报社吗 What? What? What are they gonna do? Go to the papers?
来吧 看吧 你们这群吃屎的混蛋 Come on. Here you are, you bottom-feeding bastards.
-瞧一瞧看一看啊 -下来 快下来 - Get a load of this. Look! - Get! Get down!
坐下 Sit.
我搞砸了 我搞砸了 I've fucked it. I've fucked it.
听着 丹尼 Look, Danny,
我知道 这可能会让人觉得 I know that it may feel like
整栋房子都塌了 但是... the house is falling down right now, but...
有时候我们需要如此 sometimes we need that
才能从基础上进行重建 so that we can rebuild from the foundations.
-是他 -什么 - It was him. - What?
是迪帕克干的 Deepak did this.
抱歉 你什么意思 Sorry, what do you mean?
只有他知道 这个傻逼王八蛋 He's the only one that knew, the little cock-nosed wombat.
是啊 他在做戏 他嫉妒我 Yeah, he's making a play. He's jealous.
他嫉妒我 因为每个人都喜欢我 He's jealous. He's jealous of me because everyone likes me,
因为我有魅力 because I've got the charm.
他以为自己牛逼坏了 He thinks he's Billy Big Balls.
他不知道的是 没有人喜欢厄尼·怀斯[喜剧演员] What he doesn't realise is nobody likes Ernie Wise.
把真正有趣的人拿走 You take the funny man away
他就是个无聊的白痴 and all you're left with is a boring twat!
是啊 就像柯南离不开凯尔[美国喜剧] Yeah. You can't have Kenan without Kel.
坎农离不开鲍尔[喜剧二人组] You can't have Cannon without Ball.
只靠一个鲁尼能干什么[伦敦黑帮科雷兄弟] You can't have... one Ronnie.
冷静一下 Calm down.
没人想要奥尔森姐妹之一 Yeah, nobody wants the Olsen sister.
人们要的是奥尔森孪生姐妹[演员兼设计师] They want the Olsen twins!
是的 除了伊丽莎白·奥尔森 但那是另一回事 Yeah. Except for Elizabeth Olsen, but that's a different thing.
他永远成不了伊丽莎白·奥尔森 我要杀了他 混蛋 He'll never be Elizabeth Olsen! I'm gonna kill him. Prick!
不 丹尼 No! Danny!
-让开 -进去 - Get off. - Get inside.
-不 -冷静点 - No! - Calm down.
你力气怎么这么大 Why are you so strong?
我操他奶奶的 Saggy-baggy-bollock-bags!
帮帮我 Help me!
闭嘴 把头抬起来 Shut up. Head up.
你在做什么 那是什么 那是什么 What are you doing? What's that? What's that?
你要冷静下来 让我来处理 You're gonna calm down and let me handle this.
躺好别动 Don't fucking move.
听起来好像很顺利 Sounded like it went well.
你留在这里 别让他离开 迪帕克怎么样 You, stay here. Don't let him leave. How's Deepak?
他一副"我早就告诉过你"的伪善模样 He's got this pious sort of "I told you so" thing going on.
我想他也有点如释重负 世界终于可以看到 I think part of him is relieved that the world finally gets to see
跟他合作的丹尼是个什么样了 这点我深有体会 the Danny he has to work with, which I get,
因为和瘾君子搭档就他妈是一场噩梦 'cause it's a fucking nightmare being partnered with an addict.
对不起 我不是说你 Sorry, I didn't mean you.
别告诉我你没有选择的余地 Don't tell me you don't have a choice to run it.
是卡罗琳吧 I take it Caroline's here.
我以为她的临时指挥中心在楼下 I thought she was setting up mission control downstairs.
好吧 那我就别无选择 Fine. Then I won't have a choice
只能把你的耳朵钉到越野摩托上 when I nail your ear to the front of a dirt bike
骑着你驶过一片未引爆的地雷阵 and ride you face-first through a field of undetonated shit-mines.
贝尔 Belle!
气温如何 What's the temperature?
灾难性的气候变化 Catastrophic climate change.
她对瑞茜的所作所为大发雷霆 She's raging at Reese for pulling this shit.
你有她的任何消息吗 You haven't heard anything from her, have you?
瑞茜吗 Reese?
没有 我怎么会有 No. Why would I?
那个傻逼骗子接电话了吗 Have you got that deceitful muff chugger on the phone yet?
她不接 She's not picking up.
我要闯进精子库 用消防管 I'm going to break into a sperm bank and forcibly impregnate her
强行让她怀孕 好让我杀了她的孩子 with a firehose, just so I can murder her children.
我们说好了的 我要知道她哪来的消息 We had a deal. I want to know who her source is,
以及看在玛姬·史密斯女士的漂白屁眼的份上 and how in the name of Dame Maggie Smith's bleached arsehole
我们怎么会不知道 we did not know about it.
丹尼状态如何 Danny, status?
不太好 他快"飞进疯人院"了 Not great. He's flying over the cuckoo's nest.
我一点都不惊讶 24小时后 I'm not surprised. Within 24 hours, the nation is going
全国人民都将一边看丹尼·戴维斯的冒险故事 to be reading about the adventures of Danny Davis
和他的小故事 and his Wee Willie Winkie
一边拉他们的安息日晨屎 whilst taking their Sabbath morning dumps.
计划是什么 So what's the plan?
我已经和电视台主管谈过 I've spoken to the channel controller
他们已经把他从节目中撤掉了 and they have pulled him from the show.
-真的吗 -他们担心丹尼会在直播时 - Really? - They can't take the risk
情绪崩溃 丹尼也不能冒这风险 of him having a meltdown on air, and neither can Danny.
他已经命悬一线了 He is on his ninth life.
那迪帕克呢 Well, what about Deepak?
迪帕克... Deepak...
会和艾希莉·迪隆一起主持节目 will be presenting with Ashley Dhillon.
那个暖场的女孩 The warm-up girl?
对 制作方一致同意 Yes, it's all sorted with production.
她很嫩 但是她魅力十足 She's green, but she's got charm.
无论如何 节目之后她就会声名大噪 Either way, her profile will rocket after this,
所以我们要先把她签了 so we need her locked in.
贝尔 拿合同来 Belle. Belle, Belle, Belle, papers.
我还要你们帮迪帕克为节目开场 Also, I want you to write Deepak
写篇真心诚意的发言稿 a heartfelt statement for the top of the show.
着重从男性心理健康入手 Ride the male mental health angle hard.
伊芙 他归你了 Eve, he's yours.
我正要过去看看他的情况 I was just heading over there to check on him now.
你是还在等优步吗 赶紧去 Are you waiting for your Uber? Go!
天空新闻台的珍妮来电话了 Jenny from Sky News is on hold.
-是那个摩门教徒还是那个同妻 -同妻 - Mormon Jenny or Jenny with the gay husband? - Gay husband.
我要你去跟瑞茜谈谈 I want you to talk to Reese.
她不会听我的 She won't listen to me.
逼她 Make her.
嗨 珍妮 谢谢你给我回电 Hi, Jenny. Thanks for calling back.
费比安怎么样了 How's things with Fabian?
阿比盖尔·瑞茜
你今天不能打给我 You cannot call me today.
你得让卡罗琳收手 You need to tell Caroline to back off.
她一直给我留言 暴跳如雷 She keeps leaving these angry voicemails.
亚历克·鲍德温[著名暴脾气]在她面就像个得道高僧 She makes Alec Baldwin sound like a Buddhist monk.
你没跟别人说我在你家过夜了吧 You haven't told anyone I stayed over at yours, have you?
我确实把你的可爱睡颜发在了 Well, I did post this cute picture of you asleep on my
照片墙的短视频里 但只有好友可见 Insta-story, but I only posted it to close friends.
我认真的 如果这事找到我头上... I'm serious. If this comes back to me...
冷静点 罗宾 我是名记者 Chill the hell out, Robyn. I'm a journalist.
我们有匿名消息来源 We have anonymous sources.
-你打给我干嘛 -我要丹尼的独家采访 - Why are you calling me? - I want an exclusive with Danny.
什么 卡罗琳不会答应的 What? Caroline is never gonna go for that.
你背后捅了她一刀 You stabbed her in the back
还想要我们给你独家采访吗 and now you want us to give you an exclusive?
不 是你在背后捅了她一刀 No, you just stabbed her in the back.
我相信你会解决的 I'm sure you'll figure it out.
罗宾 我到处在找你 Robyn, I've been looking for you everywhere.
没事吧 Everything alright?
没事 我要你为迪帕克的节目开场 Yeah. I, I need you to draft a speech
起草一篇讲稿 for Deepak for the beginning of the show.
-我吗 -对 草拟一份 我来最后定稿 - Me? - Yeah, just a draft. I'll prep and proof,
-但我还有事要办 -但... - but there's stuff I need to do. - But...
内容要包含 非常遗憾 It needs to say that, with great regret, Danny will not
丹尼今天无法出席 在接下去的几天里 be appearing on tonight's show and that over the next few days,
媒体会爆一些料 there will be some revelations in the press,
有些是假 有些是真 some of it lies, some of it truth,
他正在寻求治疗 因为他不想 and that he's seeking treatment because he doesn't want
因个人问题影响公众娱乐 his personal issues to get in the way of your entertainment.
这里加点玩笑话 有关原谅 Insert joke here, something about forgiveness,
爱 友情之类的 love, friendship,
可怜的丹尼 可怜的迪帕克 poor Danny, poor Deepak.
收尾要轰动 让大家起立鼓掌 明白了吗 Big finish, standing ovation. Got it?
不 不太明白 No, not really.
然后你要让艾希莉·迪隆把合同签了 And I need you to get Ashley Dhillon to sign this.
艾希莉·迪隆 那个喜剧演员吗 Ashley Dhillon, the comedian?
没错 她今天共同主持 卡罗琳要签了她 Yeah, she's co-presenting and Caroline wants her on the books.
靠你了 Counting on you.
我接个电话 I have to take this.
露丝 Ruth!
谢天谢地 你终于给我回电话了 My god, thank you so much for calling me back.
小罗 是我 Rob, it's me.
马克 Mark.
你能让露丝接电话吗 Can you put Ruth on the phone, please?
恐怕她不太想跟你说话 小罗 Afraid she doesn't want to talk to you, Rob.
我打电话是要说 I'm just ringing to say
我周一会把你的东西送到你办公室 I'll drop your stuff off at your office on Monday.
马克 让露丝接电话 Mark, put Ruth on the phone.
她不会跟你说话的 抱歉 She's not gonna speak to you. Sorry.
什么 所以她原谅你了吗 What, so she's forgiven you, then?
她能让你回去 却不能原谅自己的亲姐姐 She can let you back in but she can't forgive her own sister?
因为你犯了一个错误 之后三个月 Because you made one mistake and you've spent the last
你都在表达悔恨 three months regretting it.
我想是因为我犯了一个错误 但我之后每一秒 I think because I made a mistake, but I've spent every moment since
都在尝试弥补 that mistake trying to make up for it.
而她犯了错误后 接着又犯错 Whereas she just makes a mistake, and then another mistake,
然后让错误越变越大 and then they just get bigger and bigger and bigger.
不幸的是 你犯错之后 And unfortunately, when you make a mistake,
你会接着犯下一个错 you tend to follow it up with another,
一个接一个 没完没了 and another and another, and it just keeps going on and on.
等你终于原谅她了 她又给你来一刀 And then when you do finally forgive her, she just reoffends.
我想最重要是 我想说的是 对你来说 Look, I think essentially, what I'm trying to say is that forgiveness
原谅似乎不顶用 只会让你接着犯错 doesn't seem to help you. It just lets you go on and on.
我知道我搞砸了 Look, I know I fucked up.
我有问题 I have a problem.
没错 我表示同情 You do, and you have my sympathy,
但你得去解决问题 因为这很伤人 but you have got to fix it because it is hurting people.
它会伤害到露丝 It's hurting Ruth.
不 别跟她说这个... No, no, don't tell her about the...
罗宾 我还有更长的未来需要考虑 But there's a bigger picture, Rob, here, that we have to consider.
我们不能让孩子太受折腾 We cannot allow volatility into our children's lives.
这会毁了他们 It'll screw them up.
你比任何人都明白这点 You know that more than anyone.
露丝 求你了 Ruth, please.
你能听到我说的话吗 Please, can you hear me?
露丝 亲爱的 求你跟我说说话 Ruth, honey, please just speak to me.
你妹妹比你想得更爱你 Your sister loves you more than you can imagine.
甚至比爱我更多 More than she'll ever love me,
但她不能接受这样的你存在于她的生活 but she can't have you in her life. Not like this.
求你了 Please.
她会伤心的 小罗 It's gonna break her heart, Rob.
这是你的错 与她无关 我求你 This is on you, it's not on her, and I'm begging you,
如果你真的爱她 在你确定自己 if you do love her, you will not contact her
不会再伤害她之前 别和她联系了 unless you can guarantee that you won't let her down again.
我会支持你的 小罗 I'm rooting for you, Rob.
真的 I really am.
别这样... Don't...
请进 Come in.
你好呀 我是美乐蒂 Hiya! I'm Melody.
我听说你是今天的共同主持 I hear that you are co-presenting today.
老天 我还从没有完整主持过一次节目呢 Jesus, I haven't presented a full show before.
我紧张地要尿裤子了 I'm absolutely dropping my doughnuts here.
手抖得跟猫吸了猫薄荷一样 I'm shaking like a cat crapping an avocado stone.
你有什么事吗 美乐蒂 So, what do you do, Melody?
其实我是米尔斯-保尔森公关公司的 Well, I am actually part of MPPR.
我们是丹尼和迪帕克的代理 We represent Danny and Deepak.
那你来我这和我聊天干嘛 What are you doing here, talking to me?
你现在不是应该忙着救人于水火吗 Shouldn't you be manning the lifeboats?
不 事实上 我想知道有人帮你 No, actually, I was just wondering if you had anyone
-处理公关事宜吗 -我吗 - looking after your PR. - Me?
我是坐公交过来的 美乐蒂 I had to get the bus here, Melody.
我只能买得起单层卫生纸 I can only afford single-ply toilet paper.
没人帮我处理公关 I do not have anyone looking after my PR.
我想 鉴于当前情况 或许你会想考虑 Well, I think maybe in light of everything, you might want to
找个人帮你维护自身权益 think about having someone to look after your interests.
这就是你想做的吗 美乐蒂 Is that what you want to do, Melody?
维护我的权益 Look after my interests?
我... I...
好吧 我看过你在爱丁堡艺术节上的表演 OK, I saw you performing at the Edinburgh Festival.
是在一个酒吧 大概六个人 在开放舞台上 It was in a wine bar, to, like, six people on the free fringe.
你让我笑到忍不住放了个屁 And you made me laugh so hard that I farted
害我不得不跟我的约会对象说 and I had to tell the guy that I was on a date with that
那是椅子发出的声音 it was just a squeaky chair.
我很抱歉 Well, I'm very sorry about that.
你骨子里比外面那两个小丑有趣多了 You've got more funny in your bones than both those clowns out there.
这对你来说是个很好的机会 This is a real opportunity for you.
我们都知道这些愚蠢的白人直男 We both know these stupid straight white guys are just gonna
会以各种方式搞砸工作 fuck, fondle, faux-pas their way out of a job,
当这种情况发生时 而且一定会发生 and when they do, which they will,
我们就需要像你这样的人来救场 we need people like you in the wings waiting to capitalize.
我们可以保证你会是首选 We can make sure that you're at the front of the queue.
你们怎么收费 What do you cost?
前三个月免费 First three months we work for free,
之后我们让你的收入翻三番 到时候我们再讨论费用 and then once we've tripled your earnings, we'll talk about fees.
我喜欢你的自信 I like your confidence.
我得说 美乐蒂 这真是一个充满诱惑性的演说 I've gotta say, Melody, that was one hell of a speech.
我仿佛身处"华尔街之狼" Feel like I'm in "Wolf of Wall Street".
我想冲出去找个侏儒揍一顿什么的 I want to go out and punch a dwarf or something.
很好 那行 我... Excellent. Right, I am...
你好好准备吧 I'm gonna leave you to prepare.
希望我们很快就能再次合作 Hopefully, we'll be working together again very soon.
当然 我也希望 Yeah, I certainly hope so.
那个 Here.
你鼻子怎么了 What happened to your nose?
就是一个斑点 It's just a spot.
你知道吗 其实它并不是一个斑点 Do you know what? Actually, no, it's not. It's not just a spot.
一周前我去打了个鼻洞 打完我就慌了 I got my nose pierced a week ago, and I panicked,
就在上面贴了块胶布 so I've just been wearing this plaster on it ever since.
给我看看 Show.
没事的 美乐蒂 把创口贴撕下来 Come on, Melody, you're gonna have to rip off the band-aid,
不管是鼻子上这块还是心里那块 both literally and figuratively.
我很喜欢 I love it.
-真的吗 -当然了 - Really? - I do.
不要再像被人打了一拳那样到处走了 Stop walking around like you've been punched in the nose
骄傲地展示它 and wear it with pride.
你很酷 You are cool.
很性感 You are hot.
你就是烈火阿拉斯加 You are a baked Alaska.
[烈火阿拉斯加: 又名火焰冰淇淋 是将冰淇淋的冷与火焰的热完美结合的一道甜品]
好吧 OK.
谢谢你 Thanks.
演出加油 Break a leg.
伊芙 轻松一点 我们讨论的是丹尼的心理健康 Eve, relax. This is Danny's mental health we're talking about.
我只想让我的朋友好起来 Look, all I want is for my friend to get better.
这才是最重要的 对吧 That's all that matters, right?
茶包呢 Where's the teabag?
我拿出来了 Took it out.
你拿出来了 你为什么要把它拿出来 You took it out? Why would you take it out?
滚出去 Get the fuck out of here!
不 把茶留下 我还要喝 No, no, no, leave the tea. I want the tea.
行了 电视台负责人那边有消息了吗 OK. Have you heard from the channel head yet?
我们的合同会受影响吗 Does it affect our contracts?
因为这份合同涉及到我们两个人 'Cause the contract refers to us both,
我想知道如果我们其中一个人违约 and I'd like to know if one of us breaches,
会不会导致两人的合同都作废 does it void it for the pair?
你在这儿啊 大家都去哪了 There you are. Where the hell is everyone?
好的 我要开始 OK, so, I'm really going to need to start talking
-对流程了 -好好好 - through the set pieces. - Yeah, yeah, yeah.
我刚签了五年期固定利率的房贷 I've just signed up to a fixed-rate five-year mortgage.
-我要在地下室挖个阻力游泳池 -很好 - I'm digging into my basement to build a resistance pool. - Nice.
为了那个游泳池 我们和威豹乐队的鼓手 We've just had a 3.5-year legal battle with the drummer from
打了三年半的官司 Def Leppard to get that pool.
还不得不同意让他建个高尔夫练球场 Had to agree to letting him build a driving range.
他就一条手臂 还怎么拿高尔夫球杆 He's got one arm. How does he even hold a golf club?
迪帕克 亲爱的 把注意力放到重点上 Deepak, darling, I really need you to focus.
-丹尼不会出演节目了 -你说什么 - Danny's not going to be doing the show. - Excuse me?
-你说什么 -也是时候了 我一直说 - Yeah, excuse me? - About bloody time. I've been saying
迪帕克应该单飞 Deepak should be doing this on his own for enough time.
迪帕克 我没说过吗 Haven't I been saying that, Deepak?
你说他不出演节目是什么意思 What do you mean he's not doing the show?
他就是个累赘 He's a liability.
苦活累活都是迪帕克在做 He just relies on Deepak to do all the hard work
而他只会在格劳乔俱乐部和脱衣舞娘鬼混 whilst he's off at the Groucho Club hanging out with strippers
让女人用吸管往他菊花里 and getting women to blow cocaine up his arse
-吹可卡因 -纳林达 - with a straw. - Narinda.
怎么了 是你跟我说 What? You told me...
他找了个女孩用吸管把可卡因吹进他菊花里 You told me he got a girl to blow cocaine up his arse with a straw.
-跟你说了是秘密了 -等等 - And I told you that in confidence. - Wait, wait.
能把时间倒流几秒吗 Can we just rewind a second?
丹尼不上台了吗 没办法吗 Danny is not doing the show, at all?
-没错 艾希莉·迪隆会顶替他 -什么 - No. Ashley Dhillon is gonna do it. - What?
艾希莉·迪隆 她好笑吗 Ashley Dhillon? Is she even funny?
她特别好笑 你没见过她吗 She is great. Have you not seen her?
等等 不 不 等等 Wait, wait. No, no, wait.
我和丹尼的演出要素就是男生间的化学作用 Mine and Danny's energy is a very much boy-on-boy chemistry.
我们间有邻家小伙 基情四射的那种调调 We have a very laddie, cheeky chappy boys next door thing going on.
-也可以是邻家女孩啊 -女的不搞笑啊 - Girls can live next door. - Girls aren't funny.
不好意思 我不是... Sorry, I don't...
刚那句别发推特 我不是那个意思... Don't Tweet that. I didn't mean...
我的意思是 整体上来看 What I meant was, on the whole,
大众觉得女生不搞笑 我是这个意思 the general public doesn't find girls funny. That's what I meant.
是啊 顺耳多了呢 Sure. That's much better.
艾希莉很棒 Look, Ashley's great.
我们写好了台本 We have a script.
现在只用确保你撑过这场节目 We just need to make sure you get through the show
不要半途崩溃就行 without any major meltdowns.
不好意思 亲爱的 你是谁 I'm sorry, dear, who exactly are you again?
我是乔治 这个节目的导演 'Cause I'm George. I'm the director. I'm running this show,
这件事我可是第一次听说 and this is the first I'm hearing about it,
或许你能告诉我这是谁决定的吗 so maybe you could tell me who's making these decisions.
我是伊芙 负责丹尼和迪帕克的公关 I'm Eve. We look after Danny and Deepak's PR.
-公关 -没错 - PR. - Right.
我们的雇主是他们俩和整个电视网 基本上就是 So we're employed by them and the network, so that's essentially,
你上司的上司的上司 我们要确保 yes, your boss's boss's boss, to make sure that
他俩还是不可阻挡的赚钱二人组 they remain the unstoppable money-making presenting duo
继续为这个频道带来75%的广告收入 that bring in 75% of this channel's advertising revenue.
还有让你这样的乡巴佬不失业 亲爱的 And keep shit-kickers like you in a job, dear.
这能行吗 I'm not sure about this.
丹尼目前的状况不能上台 Danny's in no fit state to present a TV show.
我见过他磕了1.5克的K粉还能连续主持 I've seen him present four hours of children's television
4小时的儿童节目 他简直是个劳模 on 1.5g of ketamine. The man's a machine.
他不能自己上吗 Why can't he just do the show on his own?
你们不觉得热吗 Anyone else hot?
伊芙 你看到美乐蒂了吗 Eve, have you seen Melody?
分开后就没见着了 I haven't seen her since earlier.
你这脸是怎么了 花粉过敏吗 What happened to your face? Did a pollen bomb go off?
丹尼在哪 你看见他人了吗 Where is Danny? Have you seen him?
他在他房间里 他有点... 焦虑 Yeah, he's, in his room. He's feeling a little... stressed.
他还焦虑呢 He's... He's stressed?
当然了 不愧是他 Course he is. Classic Danny fucking Davis.
他焦虑什么 是我得上台主持直播节目 He's stressed 'cause I've gotta go out there and present a show live
单独面对900百万观众 to 9 million people without him.
不好意思 不好意思 Excuse me, excuse me.
没事 他经常这样 象征着好运 He's fine. He always does this. It's good luck.
可以... 找个人进来一下吗 Can we get... Can we get a runner in there, please?
里面需要清理一下 因为我吐在水槽里了 It needs sorting out 'cause I threw up in the sink.
我也不知道为什么会吐那儿 因为 I don't know why I threw up in the sink 'cause
旁边就是马桶 there's a toilet right next to it.
好了 迪帕克 兄弟 OK, Deepak, dude,
-你得振作起来 -是 - you've got to get your shit together. - Yeah.
-你可以的 听到了吗 -好 - You got this, OK? - OK.
我们会处理好水槽的事 迪帕克 好吗 We'll sort the sink, Deepak, OK?
你好好坐会儿 振作起来 Just have yourself a little sit down, get yourself together.
要是他最后一个人上台 Look, if he does do the show on his own,
是不是薪水也会高一点 does that mean he gets paid more?
能给我根烟吗 Can I steal a cigarette?
又磕上什么劲儿大的了 Back on the hard stuff?
迪帕克没事吧 Is Deepak gonna be OK?
他必须没事 He's gonna have to be.
事实证明你说得没错 So, turns out you were right.
加布里埃尔跟其他男的一样 都是混球 Gabriel's as much of a pro tool as all the others. I know, right?
帅气 性感的亿万富翁原来是个巨型混球 Handsome, sexy billionaire turns out to actually be a massive dick.
说对这种事我并不感到开心 I don't actually enjoy being right about these things.
这假话说得 Well, I know that's a lie.
你还好吗 Are you OK?
还好 你呢 Yeah. How are you?
美乐蒂在那儿 There's Melody.
你和露丝的事解决了吗 Did you and Ruth work things out?
是 都解决了 Yep. All sorted.
看 跟你说什么来着 See? What did I tell you?
姐妹 总会和好的 Sisters. You'll always work it out.
美乐蒂 Melody.
你写完迪帕克的声明了吗 Have you finished Deepak's statement?
我以为是你写呢 I thought you were doing that.
-有点卡壳而已 -你怎么了 - I'm just a bit stuck. - What's the matter with you?
你看起来像是对着自己兄弟的婴儿相册 You look like you've been caught masturbating over
自慰被抓住一样 your brother's baby album.
我没事 只是在工作而已 I'm fine. I'm just working.
-你为什么遮住自己的脸 -我没遮 - Why are you covering your face? - I'm not covering my face.
-你把笔记本举着干嘛 -在读东西 - Why are you holding your laptop like that? - I'm reading.
你的鼻子这是出什么车祸了 What in Tina Turner's tiny tits has happened to your nose?
是鼻洞吗 Is that a piercing?
感觉像是小熊维尼在脖子上文了个身 It's like Winnie the Pooh getting a neck tattoo.
好了 不说这个 OK, guys, come on.
你写了多少了 What have you got so far?
-"女士们先生们 你们好" -就完了吗 - "Hello, ladies and gentlemen." - Is that it?
我写了很多 但听起来都很虚假 Well, I tried a bunch of other stuff and it all sounded disingenuous.
虚假就对了 你是一个25岁的苏格兰女孩 It is disingenuous. You're a 25-year-old Scottish girl
为37岁的半巴基斯坦血统 writing a heartfelt speech on behalf of a 37-year-old
电视男主持写稿 half-Pakistani male TV presenter.
我们都是虚假的 We are disingenuous.
不关心公正 这才叫"公关" You can't spell "unscrupulous" without a P and an R.
真妙 Very clever.
我知道 卡罗琳说过一次 Yes, I know. Caroline said it once.
自那之后我一直在找机会再说一遍 I've been waiting for an opportunity to use it since.
能给我一根吗 Can I have one of those?
要是你抽烟的话 But if you have one of these,
烟会不会从你鼻洞冒出来 像油灯一样 will smoke come out of the hole in your nose like a pixie's chimney?
天啊 她又要给我留言 God. Jesus. Look, she's just gonna leave another message
但什么都不说 saying absolutely nothing.
就只是说 "是妈妈" Just, "It's Mum."
她已经留了三条语音说 "是妈妈" She's already left messages saying, "It's Mum," three of them.
她明明有手机 知道电话留言是怎么回事 I mean, she has a phone. She knows how voice-mail works.
她知道给我发这么多留言 She knows that leaving multiple messages
只会让我要听无数遍"是妈妈" just means I have to sit through, "It's Mum."
妈妈们就是这样 她们就像终结者 That's the thing about mothers. They're like Terminators.
你不能跟她们讨价还价 或讲道理 They can't be bargained with, they can't be reasoned with,
她们从不感到同情 害怕或悔恨 they don't feel pity or fear or remorse,
而且她们绝不会停止如此 直到你死掉 and they absolutely will not stop, ever, until you're dead.
你爸爸的事 我很抱歉 I'm sorry about your dad.
你的... 事 我也很抱歉 Sorry about your... stuff.
我请求你们都不要为我的分手感到抱歉 I'm going to request that neither of you are sorry about my breakup.
我绝对是躲过了一劫 Dodged a bullet, definitely,
而且我还捞到了三双鞋 and I got three pairs of shoes out of it so,
总的来说 我赚了 ultimately, I'm up.
有人想要迷你星河巧克力吗 Does anyone want a fun-size Milky Way?
我的咖啡呢 Where's my fucking coffee?
这里怎么有个德力西午夜跑者乐队成员 Why is there a Dexys Midnight Runner here?
贝尔 帮她搞干净 再给我倒杯咖啡 Belle, clean her up and get me another coffee.
-其实是"他们"[非二元性别代词] -你说什么 - Actually, it's "they". - Excuse me?
我是说 不是"她" 是"他们" I mean, it's not "her", it's "they".
是吗 真是非常抱歉 Is it? I'm dreadfully sorry.
如果"他们"还不戴好贝雷帽 迈着小细腿跑开 Well, if they don't get off their skinny little beret-wearing arse
给我们重新倒杯咖啡 and make us another coffee,
"他们"要担心的可就远远不止恰当的代词了 proper pronouns will be the least of their worries.
咖啡 要比塞内加尔的健美运动员 Coffee! And I want it blacker and stronger
-更黑更强劲 懂了吗 -懂了 - than a Senegalese body builder. Got it? - Yeah.
推特上都怎么说谢丽尔和丹尼的 What's Twitter saying about Cheryl and Danny?
我想大体上都还是支持的 I'd say, on the whole, it's still supportive.
30%说"我不信" 20%说"男人终究是男人" 30%, "I don't believe it." 20%, "Boys will be boys."
40%说"这是圈套" And 40%, "It's entrapment."
剩下10%呢 And the other 10%?
"她身材也没那么好" "She's not even that fit."
妈的 Shit.
-什么事 -我最爱的继母过得怎么样 - Yes? - How's my favourite step-mum?
达米安 我正在忙 没法跟你... Damian, I'm right in the middle of something so I can't really...
压轴大戏 你肯定忙得焦头烂额 The big finale. I thought you might be.
真是噩梦 男人终究是男人 What a nightmare? Still, boys will be boys.
虽然我很想跟你聊天... As much as I'd love to chat...
别担心 不会占用你太多时间 Don't worry, this won't take long.
我只是想拿一些文件 I just wanted to pick up a few documents,
所以来你办公室了 so I dropped by the office.
希望你不会介意 I hope you don't mind.
你刚说什么 What did you just say?
门卫并没有拦着不让我进来 The doorman was cool about letting me in.
估计标牌上有我名字还是挺管用的 对吧 I guess it helps when your name's on the sign, right?
达米安 达米安... Damian, Damian...
你和我爸这张照片真好看 我能要一张吗 This is a cute picture of you and Dad. Can I get a copy?
从我办公室出去 Get out of my office.
可惜你不在 不能一起喝杯咖啡 It's a shame you're not around for coffee.
本来很想和你叙叙旧的 Would have been nice to catch up.
如果你敢动我办公室里任何东西... If you touch anything in my office...
总之 我和我们律师聊过了 很显然 So, anyway, I had a chat with our lawyers and, apparently,
如果一个大股东想炒掉公司董事 if a major shareholder wanted to get rid of a company director
而不冒着不公平解雇的重大诉讼风险 without risking a major litigation for unfair dismissal,
那他们就得提供严重不当行为的证据 then they'd have to offer proof of gross misconduct.
达米安 别这样 Damian, don't do this.
你问我什么会构成严重不当行为啊 "What would constitute as gross misconduct?" I hear you ask.
很显然 任何不专业或非法行为的证据 Well, apparently, evidence of anything unprofessional or illegal.
你懂的 比如贿赂 勒索 干扰警方调查 You know, like bribery, blackmail, interfering with police investigations,
骚扰 诽谤 harassment, defamation.
所有这些肮脏的勾当 All that kind of grubby stuff.
达米安 听我说 Damian, listen.
我求你了 别这么做 I'm begging you, don't do this.
这并不容易 但显然 如果你能提供此类行为的证据 It isn't easy, but apparently, if you can offer proof of such behavior,
那实际上 撤某人的职 then actually removing someone from their position
其实是很简单的 is actually quite straightforward.
显然 双方通常会坐到一起 Obviously, what usually happens is both parties get into a room
相互谈判 and talk to each other
试图达成某种互惠互利的协议 and try to come to some sort of mutually beneficial agreement,
让双方都能达到自己的目的 which allows both parties to get what they want,
同时不必忍受尴尬 whilst not having to go through the embarrassing
昂贵 繁琐的法庭审判 and costly rigmarole of a court case.
总之 有件毫不相干的事情 So, anyway, on a completely unrelated matter,
不知能否邀请你共进晚餐 I was wondering if I could take you for dinner.
你下周在吗 周三怎么样 Are you around next week? How about Wednesday?
我对这种工作可能有点天赋 You know, I think I might have a flair for this kind of work.
不知道是遗传了我爸 还是你 I wonder if I get that from Dad or you.
贝尔 打给律师 Belle. Call the lawyers.
我们要开战了 We're going to war.
丹尼 Danny?
操 Fuck.
丹尼 Danny?
好的 剧本显然已经改了 OK. So, obviously, the script has changed
来适应新状况 to accommodate the new situation
但流程都和之前讨论的一样 but the set pieces are all as previously discussed.
所以计划就是完全照常进行 可以吧 So the plan is just to run things absolutely as normal. Sound good?
迪帕克 亲爱的 我拿到你的开场白了 Deepak, darling, I've got your opening statement here.
他们要改提词器吗 Are they gonna change the autocue?
你说什么 Sorry?
丹尼的台词... 还会在提词器上吗 Are we... are we still gonna have Danny's lines on the autocue?
因为我觉得 如果他不来 'Cause I think if he's not gonna be here,
这样会有点容易混淆 it's gonna be kind of confusing.
不会的 他们肯定会改提词器的 No, I'm sure they're going to change the autocue.
迪帕克 你还好吗 Deepak, are you OK?
是的 我没事 Yeah, I'm good.
娜琳达给了我不少她的β受体阻滞剂[可控制心率] Narinda gave me, like, quite a few of her beta-blockers,
因为我... 刚才有一点点恐慌发作 because I was... I was having a teeny-weeny panic attack.
但我现在没事了 But I'm fine now.
感觉真棒 Feel good!
我看起来还好吗 因为我感觉有点"发豆" Do I look OK? 'Cause I feel kind of thembly.
抱歉 亲爱的 你感觉什么 Sorry, darling, you feel what?
"发豆" "花抖" 是这词吗 Thembly. Thambly. Is that a word?
我觉得没那个词 I don't think that's a word.
我在想哪个词 What word am I thinking of?
"发豆" "花抖"... Thembly. Thumbly. Themb...
迪帕克 亲爱的 你真的要打起精神 No, Deepak, darling, I really need you to get it together
大家都指望着你呢 because there are a lot of people counting on you here.
我可以... 我可以打起精神 I can get it... I can get it together.
我是专业的 I'm a professional.
给他弄杯咖啡 这种速溶的垃圾不行 We need to get him some coffee, and none of this instant crap, OK?
致死量咖啡 Kill-a-horse coffee.
-你检查一下 然后导入提词器好吗 -好的 - Will you check this and get it loaded in? - Yeah.
乔治 我有点紧张 George, I'm feeling a bit freaked out, man.
你们在吗 Are you in there?
我找到丹尼孩子他妈的详细资料了 OK, I've got the details on Danny's baby mama.
她叫谢丽尔·贝恩斯 我从她照片墙上 Her name is Cheryl Baines, and I've lifted some photos
找到了些照片 from her Instagram.
她是性工作者 一定有更淫荡的东西 She's a sex worker. There must be something sluttier.
一定要污秽不堪 It's got to be filth.
要能让大家觉得她不顾一切 不诚实 We need something that says desperate and dishonest.
这张很棒 万圣节这张 That's perfect, the Halloween one.
联系和她一起上过学的丑男 Contact the unattractive boy she went to school with.
他们肯定会说她的坏话 They'll have something to say about her, for sure,
确保还没人收买她 and make sure that no-one is offering her anything.
如果有 出双倍 把她拉进我们阵营 If they are, double it. We bring her into the fold.
她将成为我们战略的一部分 我们视情况用她 She becomes part of our strategy and we use her as we see fit.
明白 Understood.
伊芙 丹尼不见了 Eve! Danny's gone.
什么 什么叫不见了 What? What do you mean, gone?
他不见了 他逃走了 He's gone, he's escaped,
-爬窗逃了 -老天 - he's crawled out the fucking window. - Jesus Christ.
你去找保安 你去摄影棚 OK, you check with security, you check the studio,
我去停车场看看 I'm gonna check the lot.
但节目在半小时后开始直播 But the show is supposed to go live in 30 minutes.
那我们最好搞快点 Then we'd better fucking hurry.
进展如何 稍等 Update. Wait.
-丹尼不见了 -怎么不见的 - Danny's disappeared. - Disappeared? How?
-爬窗跑的 -这是鼻洞吗 - He crawled out of a window. - Is that a nose piercing?
别说我得像是戴乳环的米妮 Don't tell me I look like Minnie Mouse with a nipple ring,
或剃光头的小鹿斑比 或穿紧身皮衣的水獭 or Bambi with a shaved head, or an otter in a gimp suit.
我只是想说很好看 I was just going to say it looked really nice.
谢谢 Thank you.
好的 OK.
我一直在找你 I've been looking for you.
天啊谢谢你 太激动了 My goodness, thank you! That's so exciting.
-但我只有一个条件 -什么 - But I'm only in on one condition. - What's that?
你来全权负责我的事务 That I get to deal with you personally.
我还没有自己的委托人 Don't really get my own clients yet.
那我就是第一个 Well, I guess that I'm your first.
好了 我现在要去 Right, well, I'm off to
代替丹尼·戴维斯出场 让9百万人失望了 disappoint 9 million people by not being Danny Davis.
你会让他们闭嘴惊艳 You'll smash it.
天啊 你在这里 My god. There you are.
我还以为会看到你光着身子 I thought I was gonna find you naked somewhere,
吸着快乐粉 笑饮老虎血 banging 7g rocks, drinking tiger blood.
我又不傻 Not winning.
你想跳下去吗 Were you thinking about it?
疯了吗你 Are you mental?
如果我要自杀 我不会跳楼的 If I was gonna kill myself, I wouldn't jump off a building.
尤其在电视台摄影棚 Particularly a TV studio.
这是多么过分的自我主义行为 What an extravagant act of egotism that would be.
再说了 这也不够高啊 Besides, we're not high enough, are we?
我大概只会摔断腿 I'd probably just break both my legs.
想想就很尴尬 Imagine how embarrassing that would be.
你知道吗 日本有座火山 Did you know that there's this volcano in Japan
叫三原山 在30年代 called Mount Mihara, and in the '30s, some chick
有个小妞跳进火山口自杀了 killed herself by throwing herself into the crater?
黑武士就掉进了火山 Darth Vader fell into a volcano.
事发第二年 944个人 In the next year, 944 other people
模仿她 跳进了同一个火山 copied her, jumped into the same crater.
很聪明 强戏剧性 低成本 Smart move. High drama. Low maintenance.
-确实 -听上去不错 "他怎么死的" - Exactly. - Sounds good, too. "How did he die?"
"跳火山死的" "真不错" "Jumped into a volcano." "Fair."
你打算怎么做 How would you do it?
自杀吗 不会的 Top myself? No.
大概嗑药吧 Pills, probably.
"酒精和毒品调制的致命毒液" "A lethal cocktail of alcohol and drugs."
媒体都是这么说的 不是吗 That's what they say in the press, don't they?
狂欢四天 Go out on a four-day coke bender.
喝酒 做爱 吸粉 Bingeing, banging, snorting,
直到心脏衰竭 until my heart gives out.
脸红到发紫 牙齿磨到只剩牙柱 Red as a plum, teeth ground down to stumps.
你呢 You?
给自己订个邮轮 全包 Book myself a cruise, all-inclusive,
去一个美丽又偏远的地方 somewhere beautiful, somewhere remote,
然后有天晚上 穿上漂亮的裙子 上甲板 and then one night, put on a nice dress, go up on deck,
无论望向哪里 and all you'd see in any direction is just
满眼只有幽暗的海面上 月光泛起涟漪 the moonlight rippling and reflecting off the dark water,
广阔无垠 infinite.
喝两杯马提尼 Have a couple of martinis,
吃两片阿普唑仑 然后... and then I'd pop a couple of Xanax and just...
跳下船 永远消失 step over the side and disappear forever.
老天 Christ.
我以为我算是病态的了 I thought I was morbid.
我可能得读些西尔维娅·普拉斯的诗来振奋自己 I might have to read some Sylvia Plath just to cheer myself up.
在戒毒所 人们总在谈论人生低谷 You know, in rehab, they're always talking about rock bottoms.
"这是我的人生低谷" "This was my rock bottom."
"不 这是我的人生低谷" "No, no. No, this was my rock bottom."
每次我自以为到了人生低谷的时候 Every time I think I've reached mine,
我好像又重新振作起来了 I just seem to bounce straight back off it again.
就像连环杀手回到犯罪现场一样 It's like a serial killer revisiting the scene of a crime.
他们想被抓 他们想就此停止 They wanna get caught. They want it to stop,
或者被人停止 or be stopped.
但所有人都想要我按部就班 But everyone just keeps the train on the tracks
因为价值太高了 'cause it's worth so much.
律师 经理 你 Lawyers, managers, you.
-我全搞砸了 是不是 -那可不 - I've really fucked it, haven't I? - Join the club.
等一下 Hold on a sec.
-我现在没时间 -我在这里 - I can't do this right now. - I'm here.
你什么意思 你在这里吗 What do you mean, you're here?
-我在摄影棚 -为什么 - I'm at the studio. - Why?
我觉得我可以跟卡罗琳聊一聊我的独家采访 I thought I could grab Caroline for a little chat about my exclusive.
如果她看见你 她会杀了你 If she sees you, she will kill you.
幸好有你帮我啊 It's lucky I've got you to look after me, then.
滚你的 瑞茜 你不能敲诈我 Fuck you, Reese, you can't blackmail me.
我不是在敲诈你 我是在利用你达到我的目的 I'm not blackmailing you, I'm using you to get what I want,
这也是你一直对我做的事 which is exactly what you've always done with me.
-这不公平 -生活本来就不公平 宝贝 - That's no fair. - Life's not fair, babes.
你和我谈了八个月恋爱 It wasn't fair when you ghosted me
接着突然消失 那样公平吗 after eight fucking months together, was it?
人生不如意事十之八九 Shit happens?
我们假装这无关私事 好吗 Let's not pretend this is personal, yeah?
性病诊所吗 STD clinic?
帮个忙行吗 有没有看到一个成年男性 Do us a loving favour, a fully grown man came
-从窗户里爬出来... -我没看到 不好意思 - out of the window... - I've not seen him. Sorry.
他在哪里 让我进去 Where is he? Let me in.
我要和丹尼·戴维斯谈谈 丹尼·戴维斯 I need to talk to Danny Davis. Danny Davis!
-我知道他个狗日的在这里 -你好 你好 - I know he's fucking in there. - Hi, there. Hi.
-发生什么了 我... -丹尼在哪儿 - What's going on? I... - Where's Danny?
她没有通行证不能进去 She can't come in without a pass.
好吧 没关系 她是跟着我的 所以我们... OK, well, that's fine because she's with me, so we'll just...
你是谢丽尔 对吗 You're Cheryl, right?
-你是谁 -美乐蒂 我们是他的公关 - Who are you? - Melody, I work for Danny's PR.
-什么 -我们应付媒体和... - What? - We do press and...
我知道什么是公关 我不是个傻子 I know what PR is. I'm not an idiot.
我是问我为什么要跟你说话 我要跟丹尼说话 I mean why am I talking to you? I want to talk to Danny.
现在不行 因为丹尼在准备节目 Well, you can't right now 'cause Danny's getting ready for the show.
就算他是在和丹麦女王喝茶 I don't care if he's having high tea
我他妈也不在乎 with the Queen of fucking Denmark.
为什么我会在家里接到记者的电话 Why have I got a journalist calling my home
问我儿子的事 talking about my son?
不 不 你不能 停下 No, no, you can't. Stop!
站住 多少钱 Right, stop. How much?
你说什么 Excuse me?
多少钱 可以让你不追究这件事 How much, just to make it all go away?
不追究 Make it go away?
不追究什么 Make what go away?
我儿子吗 My son?
我不想要他的钱 I don't want any of his money.
我从来没要过 我自己赚钱 谢谢 I never did. I earn my money, thank you.
这就是你们的问题 你们所有人 That's the problem with you people, all of you.
你们以为所有人都能被收买 You just assume that everyone can be bought.
得了吧 这算是不少钱了 对于你这种... Come on. That's a bit rich, coming from someone who...
我这种... 什么 Coming from... what?
不 说下去 我这种什么 No, no, go on. Coming from what?
妓女吗 Prostitute?
婊子吗 A whore?
荡妇吗 Scarlet woman?
你知道吗 你或许是对的 You know what? You're probably right.
也许我应该被禁止拥有 Maybe I should forfeit any highfalutin ambitions
被当作人来对待的雄心壮志 of being treated like an actual human being.
不是的 我只是想让你别接受任何媒体的采访 No, I'm just asking that you don't speak to any media.
为什么我会想接受媒体的采访 Why would I wanna talk to the fucking media?
好让别认骂我荡妇吗 So I can be called a slag?
我不想跟任何人聊 I don't wanna talk to anyone.
我不想出名 我不想要任何人的钱 I don't want my 15 minutes. I don't want anybody's money!
我... 去年赚了十二万 而且是税后 I... I earned 120 grand last year, after tax.
我只希望谁都别来打扰我和我儿子 All I want is for me and my boy to be left alone!
让我们做个普通人 我从来都只想要这个 So we can be normal. That is all I've ever wanted.
他也保证了 And he promised.
天啊 别哭 God, don't cry.
对不起 我真的不是那个意思 I'm so sorry. I really didn't mean all that.
来 我们休息下 好吗 Come on, let's just take a breather, will we?
你们为什么要让媒体这么做 Why do you let them behave like this?
为什么要来追着我这种人不放 Why go after people like me, like...
好像是我毁了他的生活一样 I'm the one ruining his life?
你们不让他们为自己的行为负责 You don't let them take responsibility for their actions.
如果世界上没有后果一说 这永远都不会停止 And if there's no consequence, it will never stop.
天啊 非常不好意思 God. I'm so sorry.
稍等一会儿 I'll be one minute.
妈妈 怎么了 Mum, what?
美乐蒂 我得跟你谈谈 Melody, I need to talk to you.
-妈妈 我在工作 -这很重要 - Mum, I'm at my work. - It's important.
我的工作也他妈很重要 My job's fucking important.
你爸被转移到临终疗养院去了 Your dad's been moved to a hospice.
他的病上周不断恶化 He's been deteriorating over the last week.
我无法继续照顾他 安抚好他了 I can't care for him and keep him comfortable,
所以他们想转移他 so they're gonna move him.
如果你还想能见到他 If you want to make sure you get to see him,
你就马上坐车回来 you should get on a train.
你爸爸不知道还有多少时间了 It's hard to know exactly how much time he's got.
丹尼 Danny!
操 Fuck.
一切尽在掌控 It's under control!
你好吗 兄弟 How you doing, man?
伊芙 伊芙 Eve? Eve!
瑞茜来了 Reese is here.
什么 这里吗 为什么 What? Here? Why?
她想要和丹尼独家自白专访 She wants a tell-all exclusive with Danny
聊他对孩子的爱 他的羞愧还有改邪归正 all about his love for the child and his shame and his recovery.
你开什么玩笑 Are you having a fucking bubble bath?
她在背后阴了卡罗琳 She fucks over Caroline,
现在还想要独家专访 now she wants another exclusive.
我们得搞定这个 我们得做个交易 快来 We need to fix it. We need to make a deal. Come on.
看着他 交易 Watch him. A deal?
-我们了解瑞茜 -她就是个卑鄙无耻之徒 - Well, we know Reese. - We know she is a snake
她甚至愿意把自己亲妈卖给性贩卖集团 who would sell her own mother into a sex trafficking ring
来换取一条大新闻 if it means she gets a story out of it.
卡罗琳不会同意的 Caroline will never go for it.
我觉得卡罗琳因为压力太大 有些事没想明白 I think Caroline's a little stressed and she's not thinking clearly.
小罗 她们早就有过一桩交易了 Rob, they already had a deal.
我只是想 Well, I was just thinking that maybe
如果我俩能想出什么办法 就... if you and I could figure something out, you know...
我了解瑞茜 我知道怎么利用她 I know Reese. I know how to get what I want from her.
真的吗 我倒觉得 Really? Because from what I've seen,
是她更懂得如何利用你 she knows how to get what she wants from you.
这么着吧 我自个儿想 You know what? I'll figure it out myself.
-小罗 -卡罗琳 瑞茜来了 - Rob. - Caroline, Reese is here.
你的老友 阿比盖尔 提出想给丹尼做专访 Your pal, Abigail, here was just offering an exclusive with Danny,
让他讲述他的故事 如实描绘 letting him tell his side of the story, warts and all.
我们兴许能跟书捆绑销售 Reckons we might even be able to tie it in with a book deal, as well.
你觉得我们该怎么做 What do you think we should do?
我觉得她作为把新闻捅出去的人 Well, I think, as the one who broke the story,
这不失为一个有趣的视角 it gives the piece an interesting angle.
如果她声称她笃信丹尼的忏悔 She says that she genuinely believes in his repentance.
能给报道增加可信度 It could lend it a certain credibility.
我正有此意 I had the same thought exactly.
好了 瑞茜小姐 你的专访成了 有一个条件 OK, Miss Reese, you can have your story, on one condition.
是什么呢 And what's that?
告诉我消息来源是谁 You tell me who your source is.
卡罗琳 你明白我作为记者 Caroline, you know that as a journalist,
第一要务就是保护消息提供者 my number-one commandment is to protect my sources.
不说就滚吧 Take it or leave it.
行吧 反正她敢说出来心里也有数 Fine. She knew what she was getting herself into.
是美乐蒂 It was Melody.
-美乐蒂 -那个苏格兰小姑娘 - Melody? - The little Scottish one.
是这名吧 别对她太凶了 That's her name, isn't it? Don't be too harsh on her.
她只是跟我做个交易 She's just playing the game.
计划是 下回你们有客户出大事的时候 Plan was, I tip her off next time something big
我会给她透露点消息 was gonna go down for one of your clients,
她就能够轻而易举拯救世界 and she'd swan in and save the day.
迪帕克 Deepak!
草 Tits.
你说什么呢 死疯子 What are you talking about, you bloody lunatic?
你把谢丽尔的事说出去了 You told them about Cheryl!
你保证过的 你他娘保证过的 You promised. You fucking promised!
我什么都没说 放开我 I never told them anything. Get off me.
你个狗日的大胡子混账叛徒 You fucking bloody beardy Judas bastard!
-先生们 能先别打了吗 -放开我 放手 - Boys, can you just pack it in? - Get off me! Get off!
丹尼尔 放开他 你个蠢货 Daniel, get off him right now, you bloody pillock.
为什么 为什么 Why? Why?
就因为我上诺顿秀没带你吗 Is it because I went on Graham Norton without you?
什么 我就没想过上诺顿秀 What? I never wanted to go on Graham Norton.
我没事 我没事 I'm fine. I'm fine.
这巴掌是谢谢你毁了我的"广播时报"奖 That's for breaking my Radio Times award.
-咱们还是先到外面等吧 -霍莉·威洛比不是忘了 - I think we should go outside. - Holly Willoughby didn't forget
邀请你去奶酪火锅派对 to invite you to her fondue party.
她就是觉得你是个白痴 She didn't invite you 'cause she thinks you're a twat.
你能上节目都是因为平权法案 You only got this job because of affirmative action!
你能上节目都是因为身体残障 You only got this job because you've got special needs.
多动症不是残障 ADHD is not special needs!
行了 够了 闭嘴 OK, enough, enough.
老子一个字都没往外说 臭傻逼 I never told them anything, you bloody idiot.
-别撒谎了 -我怎么会想一个人做这档节目 - Just admit it. - Why would I want to do this without you?
比平时累一倍 而且你比我更搞笑 It's twice as much work, and you're the funny one.
你什么时候才能意识到自己的才能 When will you bloody realise how good you've got it
不要再自暴自弃了 and stop messing everything up for yourself?
他真的很爱你 This boy bloody loves you.
只有你知道这件事 You were the only one that knew.
我以孩子的性命发誓 我什么都没说 I swear on my baby's life, I never told them anything.
没时间掰扯了 I really haven't got fucking time for this.
两个人都拉出去 Get them both out of here.
他先动手的 He started it.
我直播呢 他跟打橄榄球似的飞扑过来 He literally rugby tackled me while I was on TV.
艾希莉 节目靠你了 Ashley, the show is yours.
-什么 -10分钟后直播 你负责主持 - You what? - You're live in ten. Show's yours.
主持全场吗 What, the whole thing?
-你不想干吗 -不 - Don't you want it? - No.
我想 太好了 我干 对 就是... I mean, yes, grand, I do, yeah. It's just...
很好 上台去 讲几个段子 Good! So get out there, tell a few gags and for god's sake
让观众以为这是什么前卫的小品 make them think this was some fucking avant-garde sketch.
女士们先生们 丹尼和迪帕克 Ladies and gentlemen, Danny and Deepak.
掌声送给他们 Give it up for those guys.
-我爱死他们了 这是个小品... -丹尼 - I love those lads. It's a joke... - Danny!
就是传说中的后台小品 大家都别慌... It's just backstage jokes, guys. Everyone chill the flip out...
-我们错过什么了 -怎么说 - What did we miss? - Anyway, so,
有人想上台来跟我一起主持吗 does anyone want to present the show with me?
你怎么样 先生... You, sir...
卡罗琳 对不起 我努力拦她了 但她... Caroline, I'm so sorry. I tried to stop her, but she just...
美乐蒂 瑞茜跟我们说了 Melody, we spoke to Reese.
阿比盖尔·瑞茜 她在吗 Abigail Reese? Is she here?
先别说 听我说 瑞茜交代 Don't talk. Just listen. She told us
-是你把丹尼私生子的料爆给她的 -什么 - that you gave her the information about Danny's kid. - What?
我明白 我们都会跟记者做交易 Listen, I get it. We've all made deals with journalists.
我绝不会... I would never...
我也知道这不是你希望看到的 I know this isn't what you wanted to happen.
我发誓 我跟谁都没说 I didn't tell a soul, I swear.
都是我的错 是我没给你树立好榜样 This is my fault. It's not like I've set you a good example.
卡罗琳 我发誓我没爆料 Caroline, I swear to god I didn't.
我承担全部责任 I take full responsibility.
要不是我 美乐蒂也不会接触到丹尼 She wouldn't even have been with Danny if it wasn't for me,
-考虑到她一直都这么笨... -我相信她 - and as much as she's been stupid... - I believe her.
她跟在场所有人一样聪明 而且比我们诚实一倍 She's as smart as anyone in this room and twice as honest,
她说她没跟任何人说 那我相信她 and if she says she didn't tell anyone, then I believe her.
-只有她知道这事 -罗宾 别说了 - Nobody else knew. - Robyn, stop.
什么 What?
别说了 Stop.
-我不知道什么... -够了... - I don't know what... - Enough! Just...
你被开除了 You're fired.
卡罗琳 求你了 我发誓我真的没说 Caroline, please. I swear to god I didn't.
不是你 Not you.
-你 -什么 - You. - What?
你走吧 Leave.
卡罗琳 拜托 Caroline, please.
-求你了 -不不不... - Please. - No, no, no...
别哭丧 别扯谎 别求人 Don't cry, don't lie, don't beg.
麻溜走人 Just go.
卡罗琳 律师都到了 Caroline, your lawyers are here.
请他们进来 都走吧 Send them in. We're done here.
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