How to deal with a verbally abusive boyfriend
怎样对付一个言语虐待狂男朋友
No one deserves to be anyone else's punching bag,
谁都不应该做谁的出气筒
physically or verbally.
无论是肉体上还是言语上
Take steps to remedy the situation.
按照以下步骤来挽救这种局势
You will need: self-awareness
你将需要：自我意识
Courage
勇气
and determination
决心
Optional:counseling
可选项：咨询服务
Step one, recognize that there are many forms of abuse
第一步 你要认识到除了肢体上的暴力以外
that don't include physical violence.
还有很多其他形式的虐待
If your boyfriend demeans you,
如果你的男朋友侮辱你的人格
makes you account for your whereabouts,
让你报告你的行踪
tells you how to dress and act,
告诉你怎样穿戴
or tries to dictate who you can
或者尝试规定你哪些人能见
and cannot see,
哪些人不能见
those are all forms of abuse.
这都属于虐待的形式
Verbal abuse often escalates to physical abuse.
言语虐待通常都会升级为肉体虐待
Step two, don't blame yourself.
第二步 不要责怪你自己
Despite what he may say,
不管他说什么
you are not bringing this on yourself.
你都不要担在自己身上
No one deserves to be treated disrespectfully.
任何人都不该受到这样无礼的对待
Step three, suggest he get counseling to
第三步 建议男朋友去接受咨询
deal with the issues that
来察觉他这些行为的诱因
might be driving his behavior,
以解决问题
like low self-esteem.
例如自卑
You might also benefit from counseling
你也可以从中受益
to help you understand the impact of his abuse.
因为这帮助你了解他的虐待对你的影响
Step four, tell your boyfriend
第四步 告诉你的男朋友
you will not tolerate insults
你不会容忍这些侮辱
or controlling behavior
和控制行为
and mean it.
并说到做到
Prepare for the possibility you might walk out.
做好离开的心理准备
Step five, if the abuse continues,
第五步 如果虐待仍然持续
end the relationship.
结束恋爱关系吧
Break things off during the day,
白天的时候跟他摊牌
in a public place,
要选择在公共场所进行
just to be on the safe side.
以保证自己的安全
Ask trusted friends to keep an eye
让信任的朋友留个神
out for retaliatory behavior.
帮你警惕他的报复行为
If he's given you any reason to feel unsafe,
如果他跟你说了一些偏激的话让你感到不安全
try not to be alone for a while after the breakup.
在分手之后的一段时间尽量不要跟他独处
Step six, resist his attempts to win you back.
第六步 拒绝复合
Abusive relationships often fit a pattern of cruelty,
暴力恋爱关系通常都陷入一种很残酷的模式：
followed by apologies and promises to change,
不断的道歉和承诺改错
followed by more abuse.
不断的继续虐待
Did you know?
你知道吗？
One in four teenage girls
四分之一的女青少年
has experienced verbal abuse by a boyfriend.
都曾经被男朋友言语虐待过