在俄亥俄州威尔明顿 It's Support the Troops Week
这周是支持军队周 here in Wilmington, Ohio.
加上正好是为威尔明顿 Plus it's Homecoming weekend
战斗季节的回乡周 for Wilmington's Fighting Quakers.
千万不要忘了城里的玉米节 And don't forget the big county Corn Festival
就在拐角附近 is just around the corner.
如果有任何迹象表明特朗普先生接下来会怎样 If this is any indication of how Mr. Trump's gonna do,
那就是特朗普将会压倒性胜利 it's gonna be a landslide for Trump.
再次提醒 Also a reminder about
威尔明顿枪支节 that big Wilmington gun festival
这个月底将在罗伯茨市中心 which is going to be held at the Roberts Center
举行 at the end of the month.
想看我的点357左轮手枪？ You wanna see my 357?
很多人说特朗普是个小丑 A lot of people say that Trump is a clown.
他不会当选 He won't be when he's president.
这附近没听说有谁支持希拉里·克林顿的 Around here, I ain't heard nobody for Clinton.
说到枪支 And speaking of guns,
就不得不提反枪人士 and the people who want to take them away from us,
备受争议的电影制片人迈克尔·摩尔 controversial filmmaker Michael Moore
今晚将在墨菲剧院出演一个个人秀 will perform a one man show tonight at the Murphy Theater.
特朗普竞选花费9.14亿美元 Trump lost $914 million dollars,
但是也通过竞选摆脱了大量的税务 but he got out of a lot of taxes for that, too,
说不定也是好事 so probably just a good idea.
他至少没有像希拉里继承遗产那样 You know, he didn't get it handed down to him
继承财富 like Hillary did from her parents.
俄亥俄共和党人试图阻止 Ohio Republicans have tried to block
迈克尔·摩尔在该州的演出 Moore from performing in the state,
一个地方领导人甚至威胁如果演出继续 with one local leader threatening to cut public funds
就对该剧院削减公共补贴 for the theater if the show goes on.
结果应该和初选差不多 I think it's gonna be close,
鬼才会给希拉里投票 and I think that Hillary's going to have dead people vote.
剧院支持者并未对此发言 There's no word from the theater's benefactor
典型的保守党代表格伦·贝克在其立场 Conservative icon Glenn Beck where he stands on the issue.
“迈克尔·摩尔”还得往右一点 Michael Moore needs to go a little right.
他需要努力一点 He needs to go a little right.
他还得努力一点 He needs to go to the right.
迈克尔·摩尔 深入川普之地
我们对外宣传的 We put the word out,
我们希望今晚各类人士都能到场 we wanted all types of people to come here tonight.
Orange 字幕组
我们这里有没有人 Do we have anybody here
原创翻译 双语字幕
正考虑投票给唐纳德·特朗普？ who's thinking about voting for Donald Trump?
好谢谢 欢迎 Good, thank you, welcome.
有多少人准备投票给希拉里？ And how many people here are voting for Hillary?
所以今晚有一个很好的搭配 Wow, so we've got a good mix here tonight.
特朗普的选民 希拉里选民 Trump voters, we've got Hillary voters,
有不确定投票给谁的人 we've got people who aren't sure who they're gonna vote for,
也有不准备投票的人 we've got people who aren't gonna vote at all.
那第三方的呢 How about third party people.
有准备投第三党候选人的吗？ Anybody voting for a third party candidate?
我可以问你们阿勒颇在哪里吗？（叙利亚） Can I ask you where Aleppo is?
开玩笑 开玩笑的 Just kidding, just kidding.
关于威尔明顿 你唯一需要知道的事情就是 The only thing you need to know about Wilmington,
它是裂香蕉冰淇淋的发源地 it's the birthplace of the banana split.
对不对？ How about that, huh?
继续疯下去 Hold the nuts!
今天我们是在俄亥俄洲威明顿市 Well, Wilmington, Ohio here
是俄亥俄州 克林顿县 is the county seat of Clinton County, Ohio.
我一直伴随着讽刺 The irony was not lost on me,
大概从第一分钟我进了这个小城 probably from the first minute I entered this town.
就发现它竟然叫克林顿县 It may be called Clinton County,
而不是克林顿乡（双关 克林顿之国） but it's not Clinton country.
好吧？ Alright?
严肃的说 I mean seriously.
特朗普一开始在这得票是 Trump got four times as many votes here
希拉里的四倍 than Hillary did in the primary.
对吧？ Right?
我想一部分的原因是 I mean I think in part it's because
这的人更保守 the people who are more conservative,
共和党人 特朗普支持者 不管怎样 Republicans, Trump voters, whatever,
我真正欣赏的保守派的地方在于 It's something I actually admire about conservatives.
你们心怀信念和勇气 You have the courage of your convictions.
你们公事公办 You are relentless.
你们就像“我就坚信这种方式 You're like, "This is the way I believe!
妈的 就要这样！” "Damnnit, that's it!"
我们就像 “呃 我 我不知道 and we're like, "Well, I, I don't know,
我大概还得再考虑一下下” "I could think about it a little bit and maybe."
这些特朗普的支持者 You know, these Trump voters, my friends,
将在选举日的早上五点行动 are gonna be up at five in the morning on Election Day.
其实他们起的比五点早多了 They're up at five in the morning a lot.
我们唯一能见识他们早上五点行动 The only time we see five in the morning
还是我们通宵聚会的时候 is when we've been up partying all night.
这才能看到早上五点 是不是 That's five in the morning, yeah right.
每个在这里的人都有个 Come on, everybody in here has got
保守的家庭 对吧？ a conservative in the family, right?
你们中许多晚上带着的人 Many of you brought that person with you tonight.
兄弟 父亲 叔叔 A brother, a father, an uncle,
连襟 姐妹 a brother-in-law, a sister,
没有姐妹 我知道 我只是列举在那 not a sister, I know, I just threw that in there.
他们是在家庭最有组织的那个 And they are the organized one in the family.
他们从不丢汽车钥匙 They never lose their car keys.
保守派们 他们有小挂钩 The conservatives, they've got little hooks in the,
在后门 每个钩子上有一个标签 by the back door, with a label on each hook.
这是我的玛莎拉蒂钥匙 这是我的福特钥匙 That's my Beamer key, that's my F-150 key,
这是马修·麦康纳开的那辆车的钥匙 that's the key for the car Mathew McConaughey drives.
而我们呢 我们就像 Our side, we're like,
就是这样 我们就是这样 this is how we, this is how we sound.
这就是我们的方式： This is how we sound,
“那么 呃 你今晚想去哪里吃？ "So, uh, where do you want to go eat tonight?"
我不在乎 你想去哪里？ "I don't care, where do you want to go?"
我不知道 随便你选地方 "I don't know, wherever you want to go."
不不不 你上次就没选 "No, no, no you picked last time."
不 讲真 你想去哪嘛” "No, seriously wherever you want."
是这样的对吧？ This is right?
而保守派 他们就像 Like the conservative, they're like,
“上车 我们去吃牛排！ "Get in the car, we're going to Outback!
给我进去” "Get in there!"
果断 有组织 讲纪律！ Decisive, organized, discipline!
这点你必须佩服他们 You've got to admire that about them.
所有玩笑都放在一边 就像门口牌子上写的 No but, all kidding aside, as it says out on the marquee,
今晚欢迎特朗普支持者的到来 Trump voters welcome here tonight.
我真切的邀请 And I really wanted to invite
正考虑投票给特朗普的人 people who are thinking of voting for Donald Trump,
有可能更倾向特朗普 might be leaning toward Trump.
我只想以一个好的姿态 So, I just wanna, as a gesture of good will
对那些正在考虑为唐纳德·特朗普投票的人 to those of you who are thinking of voting for Donald Trump,
今晚我做了些让你们舒适的事情 tonight I've done something to make you comfortable
给在这里的自由主义者和伯尔尼支持者 in here amongst these liberals, and Bernie voters,
和第三方党支持者 和未决定以及其他人 and third-party people, and undecideds and whatever,
在你们进来的时候 and on the way in,
你可能已经注意到 招待在确定墨西哥人 you might have noticed the ushers asked Mexicans,
或说墨西哥裔美国人进来时 and Mexican-Americans who were coming in
如果他们是 会坐在墨西哥专区 if they would sit in a special Mexican section.
我们已经帮你隔离了他们 We've segregated them out for you.
在那 你们在那 Where, oh there you are over there.
我们给他们设置了个专属小 什么？ We gave them their own little, what?
她说她来自危地马拉（中美洲国家） She said she's from Guatemala.
也和墨西哥差不多啦 Close enough.
就是这样 特朗普支持者就不会紧张了 It's, it's just so the Trump people wouldn't be nervous
我们选的墨西哥人和长得像墨西哥人的 we made it Mexican or Mexican-looking.
好吧？ All right?
在今晚的演出中 And during the show tonight
我们的制片助理将会在他们附近建 our production assistants will be building
一个象征性的墙壁 a symbolic wall around them in the balcony.
别担心 你还有机会出去的 Don't worry you will be able to get out.
演出结束的时候 You will have to pay to get out
你们付清钱就可以出去了 of the wall at the end of the show.
特别添加的一个象征符号 And as an added gesture
我们把任何穆斯林或看起来像穆斯林的人 we have placed any person that was Muslim or Muslim looking
安排在那后面的专属地盘了 in their own section here in the back.
穆斯林在那上面吗？ Are the Muslims up there?
穆斯林就在哪儿 Here we go Muslims!
就在那 There they are.
穆斯林 美籍穆斯林们 Muslims, Muslim-Americans.
对 让我们听听他们 Right, let's hear it for them.
他们是美国人 They're Americans.
只是为了 只是为了特朗普支持者 But just so, just so that the Trump people
在这不会太委屈 aren't too nervous about you being in here,
我们要在他们上面飞一架无人机 we are going to fly a drone above them
在剧院里边 right within the theater here.
无人机上没有武器 我们不暴力 They're no weapons on the drone, we're nonviolent,
只有摄像头 这样我们就能知道 just cameras, so we'll be able to know,
你懂的 只是检查 you know, to just check in on you
方便知道你想干啥 to see how you're doing when,
你要做什么 what you're up to.
现在我看到特朗普死忠粉的肩膀 Now I see the shoulders of the Trump guy back there,
他已经放松下来了 he's already relaxed.
看到了吧？ So, see?
我们已经为你全方位保护了 We've got it covered for you.
这就是我希望的 That's what I was willing to do
让你今晚能来 so that you would come here tonight.
我会告诉你们一件事 I'll tell you one thing
如果这能让你心态平和下来 if this eases your mind at all,
我未投票给希拉里·克林顿 I have never voted for Hillary Clinton.
我在2008年投票选了奥巴马 I voted for Obama in the primary in 2008,
我今年投票选择了伯尼 and I voted for Bernie in the primary this year.
我其实从没投票支持比尔·克林顿过 I actually never voted for Bill.
更早的时候我想我96年投票给了纳德 Back then I think I voted for Nader in '96
92年大概投了某个第三党候选人 and '92 was probably a third party thing
因为比尔·克林顿也太 because Clinton was just too,
他是一个非常保守的民主党人 he was a very conservative Democrat.
所以我从来没有真正支持过希拉里 So I've never really voted for Hillary.
我不是希拉里支持者 I am not a Hillary voter.
谢谢 谢谢 你可以赞许这点 Thank you, thank you, you can applaud that.
我们都是美国人对吧？ You know we're all Americans, right?
那就从这点开始 Let's just start there.
无论我们投票给谁 Regardless who we're voting for, right?
我们都在同一条船上 We're all in the same boat,
我们将一起淹死或者游泳 and we're gonna sink or swim together.
我宁愿我们一起游泳 And I'd rather we swim.
因为我相信我们共同点多于分歧 Because I believe we have more things in common than not.
我们相信同样的事情 We, we believe in the same things.
首先 我们想让我们的孩子上最好的学校 对吧？ First of all we want the best schools for our kids, right?
特朗普支持者们？ Trump voters?
是这样吧？ Right?
都想让孩子上最好的学校 是不是这样 You want the best schools for your kids, that's not,
我知道有个习惯 I know, I know there's a rule,
别同意迈克尔·摩尔的任何观点 don't agree with Michael Moore on anything,
但是我 我试着在这和你们求同存异 but I'm, I'm trying to come out and meet you halfway.
至于我们的分歧 And the things we don't agree on,
好 你爱你的枪 alright, you love your guns.
我不想要枪 那我就不要 I don't want a gun, I don't get a gun.
我就不要 I won't get one.
你不支持堕胎 You don't believe in abortion.
先生？ Okay, sir?
那你就别堕胎 Do not have an abortion.
别堕胎 如果你不支持 那自己就别堕 Don't, if you are against it, don't get one.
这里谁不喜欢最高法院决定 Who doesn't like the Supreme Court's decision
通过同性恋婚姻法案？ on gay marriage in here?
你不支持它 You don't support it.
对吗？ 对 Right? Right.
后面还有谁不喜欢吗？ Anybody else back there?
先生？ Sir?
好的 先生？ Okay, sir?
那你就别和基佬结婚嘛 Then don't get gay married.
对不对？ Right?
这就像 如果 It's like, if,
如果两个同性恋者想结婚 if two gay people want to get married,
那就让他们结去 let them be married.
你不想成为同性恋 相信我 你也不会喜欢 You don't want to be gay, trust me, you wont like it.
对吧？ Alright?
这样感觉不会好 看起来也不好 It won't, it won't feel good, it won't look good.
我确信最终同性恋会离婚 I'm convinced that will end up in gay divorce,
但同性恋想离婚现在还没合法 which isn't even legal yet!
他们只合法化了同性恋结婚 They only legalized gay marriage.
他们忘了合法化同性恋离婚！ They forgot to legalize gay divorce!
这画面太美 我都不敢想了！ I don't even know what that looks like!
所以我在城里遇到了一个五席位民主党人 So I met one of the five Democrats in town.
他昨天来找我 And he comes up to me yesterday
他说“迈克 迈克 我们得做点什么 and he goes, "Mike, Mike, we got to do something
关于千禧一代”（84-95年出生） "about the millennials.
“他们 他们不会投票 他们不投票” "They're, they're not gonna vote, they're not voting.
“我们要不要对做些什么？” "What are we gonna do about the millennials?"
我说“没事 And I said, "Well, nothing.
我们已经做了一些事情 我们培养起他们” "We already did something, we raised them."
这就够了 That was a lot.
我们培养了这一代 我的后代 对吧？ We raised this generation, my generation did, right?
我们培养了你们 那些在这的千禧一代 We raised you, those of you who are millennials in here.
然后你发现 这相当不错 And you turned out, I think, pretty good.
你的后代们 对吧 I think your generation is, yes.
你们聪明 You're smart.
你顺便拜访时给我们的打印机 You come over and change the ink cartridges
换了墨盒 for us in our printers.
当我们的设备无法正常工作时 我们电话求助 When we can't get our device to work, we call you up
而你给我们解释应该如何关掉它 and you explain to us how to turn it off,
然后重启 then turn it back on,
结果它每次都神奇地工作起来了 and it magically works again every time.
而且你心无怨恨 And you're not haters.
这是没有仇恨的一代 This is a generation of non-haters.
你们注意到了吗？ Have you noticed that?
我是指大多数 I mean really the majority,
大多数18至35岁的人 the majority of 18 to 35 year olds
他们不因为肤色不同 are, you know, they don't hate people
而去仇视别人 because of their skin color,
或因为对方与同性 or because they're in love
相爱 with someone of their same gender.
我没看到这些 我们还做了些好事 I don't see it and it makes me feel really good
这让我感觉很好 that we did something right.
于是我对这些人说 我说 “真的吗 我不 So I said to this guy, I said, "Really, I don't,
我不觉得这事我们要怎么指点他们 "I don't think it's on us to do something about them.
因为气候变化不是他们造成的 "Because they didn't create climate change,
派兵进入伊拉克也不是他们造成的 "they didn't send the troops to Iraq.
你知道 千禧一代没有造成 "You know, millennials didn't cause
华尔街崩溃 "the Wall Street collapse.
那为什么这些责任要 "Why is it on them to fix our
转移到他们头上呢？” "shitty situation that we've handed them?"
认真的 I mean seriously.
我意思是 I mean.
我的意思是 当你到了那个年纪会遇到些事情 I mean, there's something about when you're that age
而你是反叛的 我想让你坚持自己的方式 and you're rebellious, and I want you to be that way.
我不希望你去妥协 I don't want you compromising.
现实世界中还有大把时间必须妥协 You got plenty of time in the real world to compromise.
在你的余生当中 The rest of your life
你有大把的时间需要妥协 you'll have plenty of time to compromise
做些你之前不能忍受的平凡的工作 and be in some shitty job that you can't stand,
陷入一段没有感情的婚姻 you know, to be in some loveless marriage,
为什么19岁就开始妥协呢？ why be that way at 19?
别妥协 Just don't compromise,
但同时也懂得 but also understand too,
在一些时候 that sometimes,
有时我们不得不服用一些药物换得健康 sometimes we have to take some medicine to get better.
但是服药不是真的妥协 And taking medicine isn't really a compromise,
这是在做对的事 it's a smart thing to do.
所以你会知道该怎么办 So you'll know what to do.
我担心的不是孩子们 It's not the kids I'm worried about.
孩子们都好 The kids are alright.
需要担心的是气愤的白人 It's the angry white guy.
他们的日子屈指可数了 His days are numbered.
超过35岁的白人 Total number of white guys
只占美国人口的19%了 over the age of 35 now in the United States, 19%.
这就是我们这群人 That's all we are guys.
他们在为我们的死亡欢呼 What, they're cheering our demise,
我们的灭绝！ our extinction!
这是在发生 你知道的对吧？ That's what's going on here, you know that right?
我们知道 我们都知道 We know it, we guys know it.
我们知道我们的时代将结束 We know it's over for us.
这一万年的进化还不差 对吧？ We had a good run, 10,000 years wasn't bad, right guys?
对吧？ Right?
现在我们身处21世纪 And now here we are in the 21st century.
有史以来第一次 For the first time ever,
单身女性多于已婚女性 there are now more single women than married women,
你察觉到这点了吗？ you aware of this?
是的 看那家伙？ Yes, see that guys?
是的 因为她们不需要我们 Yeah, because they don't need us.
她们现在可以独立了 They can be single now.
100年前 她们可不能单身 100 years ago, they couldn't be single.
我们有法律不允许她们拥有财产 We had laws that wouldn't allow them to own property,
或银行帐户 或离婚 对吧？ or have a bank account, or get divorced, right?
她们不能在法庭起诉 They couldn't sue in court.
所有这些法律 There are all these laws.
如果你不知道去查查吧 Check this out, if you don't know this.
有一长串法律禁止女性 There were a long list of laws that prohibited women
做些基本的事情 from doing the basic things
人们应该能够做的事情 that somebody should be able to do.
但现在她们不需要我们了 But now they don't need us.
以前对于一些事情我们是有用的 对吧？ We used to be useful for something, right?
我们需要去保持物种延续 Well we're needed to keep the species going.
那算得上我们最重要的任务了 That was our most important job.
而现在我们还有什么作用？ What else were we good for?
从高架子上拿东西 Getting something off the top shelf.
只不过现在 他们发明了体外受精 Except now, they've invented in vitro fertilization,
和便携式铝活梯 and the portable aluminum stepladder.
你不需要我们！ You don't need us!
你不需要我们获得性高潮 You don't need us for orgasms anymore.
伙计们 你知道她们不需要我们 对吧？ Guys, you know they don't need us for that, right?
大概三十年前有人出版了一本书 Somebody put out a book like 30 years ago,
《我们的躯体 我们自己》教女性一些 "Our Bodies, Ourselves", taught women things
天知道她们不该被教导的事情 that God knows they shouldn't have been taught.
如果希拉里赢了 如果女性接管 If Hillary wins, if the women take over,
并因为她们不需要我们 and because they don't need us,
所以你知道这将会引发什么？ so you know what this is gonna lead to?
将会有专门关男人的拘留营 There are gonna be internment camps for men.
希拉里会让她所有 And Hillary will have all her you know,
韦尔斯利学院的学生带着她们的小本子在那 Wellesley students there, with her clipboards,
检查我们来让我们进集中营 checking us in to the internment camp.
她们必须挑选几个来保持物种延续 They've got to pick out a few to keep the species going.
她们会选谁？ Who are they going to pick?
聪明的 好看的 The smart ones, and the good-looking ones.
好吧 So all right,
现在我已经开始观察这些家伙的颜值了 already I'm looking at the faces of the guys here.
他们已经知道他们将会被关进营地 They already know they're in the camp.
我们都在队伍里 我们都讲在那排着队 We're all in line, we're gonna be in line there,
“你进集中营 对你 继续走 你 还有你 "You in there in the camp, yes you, keep going, you, you.
哦 你 "Oh, you.
来这边” "over here."
这家伙会说“就因为他有 The guys will go, "Oh just 'cause he's got
漂亮的六块腹肌？ "a good six pack for the abs?
我上个月都准备开始去健身房了” "I was gonna start going to the gym last month."
“是的 你他妈该走了 "Well, you should've fucking gone,
因为现在你要去集中营 "because now you're going to the camp.
别担心 那儿有不少健身房 "Don't worry, there's gonna be lots of gyms
就在男犯集中营里” "in the guy camps."
这就是他们如此沮丧的原因 And that's why they're so upset.
你在集会里见过这种人 对吧？ You've seen them at the rallies, right?
这些人在特朗普集会上 他们就像 These guys at the Trump rallies, they're like,
就像是濒死恐龙的声音 It's the sound of the dying dinosaur.
不管在哪都可以观察到 The signs are everywhere to them,
女性接管的标志 the women are taking over.
现在上大学的女性多于男性吗？ There's now more women that go to college than men?
法学院的女性要多于男性 There's more women in law school than men.
啊 不！ Whoa, no!
我猜测人类学家 一定会注意到这些迹象 I predict anthropologists, they will note the moment
只要一明显 it happened, when it was clear,
男人们开始脱轨 the men were on their way out
女人们在进去 and the women were on their way in
这是去年的超级碗 and it was the Superbowl this past year.
你知道 这是半场演出 You know, it's the halftime show,
酷玩乐队正演奏他们那好听的音乐 Coldplay is playing one of their nice songs,
哦 我爱你 我爱 哦 哦 # Ooh, I love you, I love, ooh, ooh #
然后火星哥布鲁诺·马尔斯来了 And then Bruno Mars came on,
观看半场秀人们 and then that sort of confused a lot of guys
就充满困扰 watching the halftime show.
“哦 这是什么？” "Ooh, what is this?"
然后突然 And then all of a sudden,
就在布鲁诺歌才唱了一半的时候 right in the middle of Bruno's song,
碧昂丝和500名制服美女出现了 out comes Beyonce and 500 women in these uniforms,
她们紧握愤怒的拳头 with their fists clenched enraged,
狂野地踢她们的靴子 and their shit-kicking boots on, taking the field.
不 这就像 我的 No, it was like, oh my,
等等 这是我们的游戏 她在这里做什么？ wait that's our game, what's she doing here?
这就是我们终结的迹象 男人们都知道 That's where we're ending up, and guys know it.
这就是为什么他们在特朗普集会 And that's why they're at the Trump rallies.
这就是为什么你能听到这种声音 That's why you hear that sound,
“唐纳德 救救我们！ "Donald, save us!"
女人来了！ "The women are coming!"
女人是 "The women are,"
希拉里是成吉思汗！ "Hillary is Genghis Khan!"
一切都结束了” "It's all over."
这感觉不好 It doesn't feel good.
八年黑人总统 Eight years of a black president.
好吧 我们忍了 Okay, we got through that.
现在又八年的女总统？ Now it's gonna be eight years of a woman president?
不不不！ No, no, no!
不 因为 不 因为你知道之后会发生什么？ No, because, no, because you know what happens after that?
将会有八年的同性恋总统！ It's gonna be eight years of the gays!
我们会有个同性恋总统！ We'll have a gay president!
不要！ No!
你知道后面是什么 变性人 And you know what comes after that, the transgenders.
变性人会在白宫待八年 Eight years of a transgender in the White House,
你都不知道哪个卫生间能用！ you're not gonna know which bathroom to use!
在这之后还剩啥？ What's left after that?
在他们从我们白种直男手上接管一切之后？ After they've taken everything from us white straight guys?
宣扬动物权利的人 Oh, the animal rights people.
善待动物组织将接管白宫 PETA will take over the White House.
一个仓鼠要运营这个国家 A fucking hamster is gonna be running this country.
一只在总统办公室跑轮里的小仓鼠 A little hamster in the Oval Office on a wheel.
“接见下一个国会议员” "Send in the next congressman"
最终 大自然母亲 And finally, mother nature.
现在男婴出生更少 There are now less boy babies being born.
大自然母亲已经看到了现状 Mother nature has looked at the situation,
显然发现男人对地球不好 has decided that men are bad for the planet.
没有女人曾建烟囱 No woman has ever built a smoke stack.
没有女人发明了原子弹或氢弹 No woman has invented an atomic or a hydrogen bomb.
没有女孩在学校和射击学生 And no women, no girls go into schools and shoot them up.
校园枪击案中没有凶手 Not a single one of these school shootings
是女孩 对吧？ are girls, are they?
怎么会这样？ How can that be?
想想这点吧 Think about that.
这就像 不只是校园枪击 It's like, and it's not just school shootings,
女人通常不对人开枪 it's like women generally don't shoot you.
除非你该死 Unless you deserve it.
我的意思是 通常 I mean, usually,
当某个女人对她的丈夫或男朋友开枪时 when a woman shoots her husband or her boyfriend,
大家就都明白是怎么回事了 some thought has gone into it.
其实这适用大多数犯罪 That's actually true with most crimes.
有多少女性纵火 How many female arsonists are there?
或盗窃？ Or burglars?
或强奸？ Or rapists?
你去下载整个犯罪列表 Or, I mean you go down the whole list of crimes.
实际上我们51％人口的女性都相当可靠 We're actually quite safe from 51% of the population.
是吧？ Right?
比方说 I mean it's like.
当你 当你今晚离开这里 When you, when you leave here tonight
漫步在俄亥俄州威尔明顿黑暗的街道 and wander out onto the dark streets of Wilmington, Ohio,
这是一个简略的小镇 it's a rough town out there, but you know, it's dark.
在一条黑暗的街道上 发挥点想象力 You're on a dark street, you're just a little more aware.
你会想到什么呢？ What are you being aware of?
一个女人跳出灌木丛 刺死你？ A woman gonna jump out of the bushes and stab you to death?
会有女人行凶吗？ Is a woman gonna mug you?
不管你害怕的什么 也不会是个穿裙子的 Whatever you're afraid of, does not wear a dress.
或穿裤套装的 Or a pantsuit.
看到了吧 Oh man, see but that's,
你必须理解特朗普选民 you must understand the Trump voter.
害怕女性上位是合理的担心 These are legitimate concerns, legitimate concerns.
我想你知道的 And I think, you know,
对这点 我们笑的很开心 we're laughing a lot about this stuff,
并感谢特朗普选民给我们 and thank you Trump voters for letting us
带来的些许欢乐 have a little bit of laughter over this.
其实我今天写了一些东西 But I actually wrote something today
在我坐在墨菲剧院指定 while I was sitting here at the official hotel of the,
酒店的时候 of the Murphy Theater,
快捷假日酒店 the Holiday Inn Express.
你介意我读一下吗 Can I read this to you, do you mind if I,
写的东西 我想 I just wrote this, I just want to,
我想读给你听 I want to read it to you.
因为我知道很多在密歇根州的人 Because I know a lot of people in Michigan
正在计划投票给特朗普 that are planning to vote for Trump.
他们不是 And, um, they're not,
他们不一定很喜欢特朗普 they don't necessarily like him that much,
他们不一定同意他 and they don't necessarily agree with him.
他们不是种族主义者 或乡下人 They're not racist and rednecks and,
他们实际上是相当体面的人 they're actually pretty decent people.
所以我想排序 And so I wanted to sort of,
在和一部分支持者谈话后 我有点想 after talking to a number of them, I wanted to sort of,
我就想到写这个 I wanted to write this and,
以下内容片段 请勿断章取义截取
唐纳德·特朗普 来到底特律经济俱乐部 Donald Trump came to the Detroit Economic Club,
并和福特汽车高管当面站着 and stood there in front of the Ford Motor executives
说 “如果你打算在底特律 and said, "If you close these factories
关闭这些工厂 "as you're planning to do in Detroit,
并在墨西哥重建 "and build them in Mexico,
我要给这些车35％的关税 "I'm going to put a 35% tariff on those cars
当你想进口回来时 没有人会买他们” "when you send them back, and nobody is going to buy them."
这是非常神奇地事情 It was an amazing thing to see.
没有政治家 共和党或民主党 No politician, Republican or Democrat,
曾经对这些高管说过类似的话 had ever said anything like that to these executives.
这十分悦耳 And it was music to the ears
对于密歇根州 俄州和宾州的人们来说 of people in Michigan, and Ohio, and Pennsylvania,
和威斯康星州 这些要被退出的州 and Wisconsin, the Brexit states.
你们就是俄亥俄人 知道我在说什么 You live here in Ohio, you know what I'm talking about.
无论特朗普是否真的有意 Whether Trump means it or not
或者只是放空炮 因为他说这些给 is kind of irrelevant, because he's saying the things
受伤的人听 to people who are hurting.
这就是为什么每个受挫败的无名之辈 And it's why every beaten down, nameless,
被遗忘的工人 forgotten working stiff, who used to be part of
曾被称为中产阶级的人们 支持特朗普 what was called the middle class, loves Trump.
他是人类的燃烧弹 He is the human Molotov cocktail
他们一直在等待 that they've been waiting for.
他们可以合法扔的人类手榴弹 The human hand grenade that they can legally throw
进入到可以窃取人们以此维生的系统 into the system that stole their lives from them.
而在11月8日 选举日 And on November 8th, Election Day,
虽然他们失去了工作 although they've lost their jobs,
虽然他们已经被银行拒绝 although they've been foreclosed on by the bank,
接下来的离婚 现在的妻子和孩子们走了 next came the divorce, and now the wife and kids are gone,
汽车被收走 the car's been repo'ed,
他们没有一个真正的假期 they haven't had a real vacation in years,
他们被糟糕的奥巴马医改计划所困 they're stuck with the shitty Obamacare bronze plan,
一个连镇痛药都得不到的狗屁计划 where you can't even get a fucking Percocet,
他们基本上失去了一切 they've essentially lost everything they had,
除了一件事 except one thing.
一件不需要花一分钱的事情 The one thing that doesn't cost them a cent,
并得到美国宪法保障 and is guaranteed to them by the American Constitution,
投 票 权 the right to vote.
也许身无分文 也许无家可归 They might be penniless, they might be homeless,
也许被耍 也许搞砸 they might be fucked over and fucked up.
没关系 因为在那一天都平等 It doesn't matter, because it's equalized on that day.
百万富翁票数也一样 A millionaire has the same number of votes
失业的人也一样 都是一票 as the person without a job, one.
而且中产阶级基数 And there's more of the former middle class
多过富豪们 than there are in the millionaire class.
所以在11月8日 So on November 8th,
无依无靠的人们会走到投票站 the dispossessed will walk into the voting booth,
领取一张选票 关上帷幕 be handed a ballot, close the curtain,
用手柄 用毡笔 用触摸屏 and take that lever, or felt pen, or touch screen,
在盒子选一个大大的X and put a big fucking X in the box
那个扬言要颠覆 by the name of the man who has threatened to upend
并推翻这个已经毁了 and overturn the very system
他们的生活的系统 的名字 that has ruined their lives,
唐纳德·约翰·特朗普 Donald J. Trump.
他们知道毁了他们生活的精英们讨厌特朗普 They see that the elites who ruined their lives hate Trump.
美国大企业讨厌特朗普 Corporate America hates Trump.
华尔街讨厌特朗普 Wall Street hates Trump.
职业政治家讨厌特朗普 The career politicians hate Trump.
媒体讨厌特朗普 The media hates Trump,
在他们爱他 并创造他以后 after they loved him and created him,
现在讨厌他 谢谢你媒体 and now hate him, thank you media.
我敌人的敌人 我将在11月8日那天投票给他 The enemy of my enemy is who I'm voting for on November 8th.
对 在11月8日 你 乔某 Yes, on November 8th, you, Joe Blow,
史某 鲍某 毕某 Steve Blow, Bob Blow, Billy Blow,
所有平常人 Billy Bob Blow, all the Blows,
去炸毁 get to go and blow up
整个烂系统 因为这是你的权利 the whole goddamn system, because it's your right.
特朗普当选 是我送你人类历史上 Trump's election is going to be the biggest fuck you
最大只的草泥马 ever recorded in human history.
这感觉会 And it will feel
很好 good.
一天 For a day.
也许一个星期 Maybe a week.
可能一个月 Possibly a month.
然后 像是那些 And then, like the Brits,
想传送讯息的英国人们 who wanted to send a message
于是他们投票脱离欧盟 so they voted to leave Europe
结果却发现 如果投票脱离欧盟 only to find out that if you vote to leave Europe
就真的必须脱欧 you actually have to leave Europe.
而现在他们后悔了 And now they regret it.
所有英国中部的“俄亥俄人 宾夕法尼亚人 密歇根人 All the Ohioans, Pennsylvanians, Michiganders,
和威斯康星人” 人们 对吧？ and Wisconsinites of middle England, right?
他们都投票脱离 They all voted to leave
现在他们后悔了 and now they regret it
其中超过400万人已经签署了请愿书 and over four million of them have signed a petition
想再来一次 to have a do-over.
他们想再次投票 They want another election.
但这并不会发生 It ain't gonna happen
因为你把投票 because you used the ballot
作为泄愤工具 as an anger management tool.
现在你玩完了 And now you're fucked.
而欧洲其他国家 剩下的欧洲国家 And the rest of Europe, the rest of Europe,
他们就像 “走好了您嘞” they're like, "Bye Felicia."
当俄亥俄州 密歇根州 宾夕法尼亚州 威斯康星州 So when the rightfully angry people of Ohio,
充满正义感的愤怒人们 and Michigan, and Pennsylvania, and Wisconsin
几个月后发现 find out after a few months in office,
特朗普总统不准备 that President Trump wasn't going to do
做对他们不利的事情 a damned thing for them,
此时已经为时太晚 it will be too late to do anything about it.
但是我懂的 But I get it.
你们想表达一个讯息 You wanted to send a message.
你们有正义和 You had righteous anger
和正当的愤怒 and justifiable anger.
好 消息发送了 Well, message sent.
晚安美国 Goodnight America.
你们刚刚选出了美国的最后一位总统 You've just elected the last president of the United States.
2017年1月20日 (预测的)新闻
晚上好 特里 哈德斯蒂(terrible-hardest糟糕且艰难) Good evening, Terri Hardesty
从我们国家的首都发来的报道 reporting from our nation's capital.
唐纳德 特朗普今日宣誓就职 Donald J.Trump was sworn in today
作为美国第45任总统 as the 45th president of the United States.
我 唐纳德·约翰·特朗普 I, Donald J. Trump,
正如一些人所预测的一样 As some had predicted,
特朗普很快就开始作妖了 the shit show started within minutes.
游行前 Before the parade,
特朗普总统下令对所有墨西哥边境城镇 President Trump ordered an aerial bombardment
进行空中轰炸 of all Mexican border towns.
在美国所有的市中心 The instatement of stop and frisk checkpoints
都设立停止和快捷检查点 at all U.S. inner cities,
罗茜 欧唐内(演员)被驱逐到美属萨摩亚 and the deportation of Rosie O'Donnell to American Samoa,
特朗普对此回应说“这不是真正意义上的驱逐出境 to which Trump replied, "Hey, it's not really a deportation,
天啊 我们可是有专门的减肥机构的” we own the damn fat farm for Christ's sakes."
首届游行终于开始了 The inaugural parade finally got underway,
但是在特朗普总统坚持在游行的路线之上 but only after President Trump insisted on
用他专属的特朗普飞机进行飞行之后游行才得以顺利开始 flying over the parade route in his Trump helicopter
他知道他必须离开他的豪华轿车 once he learned that he was expected to get out of his limo
并步行至白宫 and walk to the White House.
到了白宫之后 总统走进去 Upon arriving, the president walked inside
看看这座有200岁年龄的建筑结构 然后简单扫视下周围 the 200 year old structure, took a brief look around,
并且我们有这个独家的 and we have this exclusively,
白宫女侍候用她的手机录制的录音 a recording made by a White House maid on her cell phone.
特朗普：真够脏的！听着 我不会待着这里的 知道吗 顶级公寓在哪呢 那才合适
特朗普白宫首曝光
伊万卡：那是二楼
特朗普：我有个消息告诉你 那不是顶级公寓 你这小孩你知道吗 你和副总统彭斯住在这
特朗普：嘿 彭斯 你和埃里克和伊万卡搬进这帮我玩
特朗普：这会很好玩的 无论何时你们要找我 我就在玛尔阁
特朗普：有事打我电话就可以了
据其他新闻称 选举日结束的时候 In other news, by day's end,
有2000万美国人表示他们投票给特朗普 20 million Americans who say they voted for Trump
并且签署了网上申请 had signed an online petition,
要求重新选举 asking for a do-over election.
最后 这是我们最新广播 Finally, this will be our last broadcast
作为被罗杰 艾尔斯和布莱巴特新闻经营的 as the new Trump channel run by
新的特朗普频道 Roger Ailes and Breitbart News,
将接管此网络 will be taking over this network
并以真实 全天候 每日报道作为特色 and featuring all reality, all day, every day.
特朗普自己会主持 Trump himself will be hosting
真实世界1600宾夕法尼亚大道 The Real World 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue
和美国版你被解雇了 and You're Fired, America,
你下一份工作工作可能是夜场表演 a nightly show where your job may be next.
我是特里 哈德斯蒂 好运美国 I'm Terri Hardesty signing off, good luck America.
只是想让你们看看事情会变得怎样 Just wanted you to see what it's going to look like.
我的问题是 Um, so here's my question.
我们跟希拉里之间有什么问题吗？ What is our problem with Hillary?
你们怎么了？ What's your problem?
你们跟希拉里之间有什么问题吗？ What is your problem with Hillary?
我有问题 You know, I got my problems.
我可以 我会告诉你们我和她的问题 I can, I'll tell you what my problem is with her.
她投票支持了伊拉克战争 She voted for the Iraq war.
她对华尔街太仁慈 She's too cozy with Wall Street.
那些都是大问题 Those are big ones.
我们不是真的谈论这些问题 是吗？ We don't really talk about the issues, do we?
任何时间他们谈论起希拉里时 Whenever they talk about Hillary,
任何人谈论希拉里时 when anyone talks about Hillary it's about
都是关于是否喜欢她 how you like her or don't like her.
那些不喜欢她的人 And the people that don't like her,
关于她的立场问题 不喜欢他 and that's on the right and the left, don't like her.
但是这是关于她是否讨人喜欢吗？ But what is this about her being likable?
你不会去投票站投票给一个朋友 You're not going to the voting booth to vote for a friend.
“我想让她成为我的朋友” "I want her to be my friend."
不 我不想让她成为我的朋友 No, I don't want her to be my friend.
我想她去 I want her to,
我想让他们不喜欢她在国会山 I want them not to like her up on Capitol Hill.
我想要和她谈判的人 I want the people she's negotiating with
不喜欢她 not to like her.
又不是钞票还得人人喜欢 You don't want somebody all likable.
“当然 你说啥就是啥 "Sure, whatever you say."
好吧 我在这里签” "Okay, I'll sign here."
还有什么希拉里可以批判的地方？ What else, what are the other knocks on Hillary?
不值得信赖 对吗？ Not trustworthy, right?
我们听到太多 她不可以被信任 We hear that a lot, she's not trustworthy.
她该如何向你证明她值得信任呢 How did she prove her distrust-worthiness to you?
是她答应在你不在家的时候 帮你给植物浇水 Did she, did she promise to water the plants
然后她没有浇？ for you while you were gone, and then didn't?
现在我们在讨论的事差异 Now we're talking about differences,
你可以说她反复无常或者什么 you say well she flip-flops or whatever,
但是每个人都在改变 每个人都在发展 well everybody changes, everybody evolves,
我希望他们确实是这样 对吧？ I hope they do, right?
今晚在这里我们希望我们支持特朗普的朋友们 We want our Trump voter friends in here tonight,
我们希望他们或许会改变 we're asking them to maybe change.
如果你愿意不愿意改变 这就像是就算她变精明了 If you just stay in cement, it's like okay so she's learned.
她开始反对同性婚姻 She was against, she fought gay marriage
然后她又支持同性婚姻 and then she was for it.
好吧 我宁愿那样反复 都比彻彻底底反对同性婚姻要好 Well I'd rather that, than staying against gay marriage.
我不认为这是一件坏事 I don't think that's a bad thing.
她承认投票赞成伊拉克战争投票是个错误 She said her Iraq War vote was wrong.
这是她做的最错的一件事了 She's never done anything more wrong than that.
好吧 这不是我在道歉 Okay it's not exactly I'm sorry,
但是我确实很像是在替她道歉 好吧我承认她是个政客 我接受 but that pretty, okay she's a politician, I accept that.
但是还有什么呢 还会有什么呢？ What else, what else?
希拉里还有什么值得被指责的地方？ What are the other knocks on Hillary?
利比亚班加西空袭 Benghazi.
好吧 班加西空袭 没错 Okay Benghazi, yes.
她在半夜起床 She got up in the middle of the night
一个人计划了整个事 and personally planned, with ISIS
她和奥巴马一起创造了ISIS which she and Obama created,
根据特朗普声称的 是他们创造了ISIS according to Trump, they invented ISIS,
他们计划了这次攻击 and they planned this attack
为了杀死在班加西的领事馆里我们的人 to kill our people there at the Consulate in Benghazi.
她澄清了六次 She was cleared six times.
天 她已经澄清这些诬告六次了啊 Oh she's been cleared of the charges six times.
这还不够！ That's not enough!
必须的 如果你是希拉里·克林顿 You have to be, if you're Hillary Clinton
你必须澄清八次 you have to be cleared eight times.
克林顿基金会 The Clinton Foundation.
哦 克林顿基金会 Oh the Clinton Foundation.
好的 感谢上帝 还有一个克林顿基金会 Well thank God there's a Clinton Foundation,
看看他们做的好事 look at all the good they've done.
你懂吗？ You know?
我的意思是 I mean,
如果他们说的都是真的 and if what they say is true,
他们得跟希拉里开个会吧 and so they get to have a meeting with Hillary,
这个会议在哪呢 她还是希拉里·克林顿 and what's their meeting, she's still Hillary Clinton.
这不是简简单单的他们到哪了以后说 It's not like they get to go in there and say
“我需要你轰炸 "I need you to bomb,
我需要你 "I need you to,
我需要你炸也门” "I need you to bomb Yemen."
“行啊 那你给克林顿基金会多少钱？” "Okay, how much did you give the Clinton Foundation?"
“我给克林顿基金会5000万美元” "I gave the Clinton Foundation $50 million dollars."
“呼叫空袭” "Call in the air strikes."
这不是事实 That's not what's going on.
通常 或许奥巴马政府 Generally, what the Obama administration
不是每一件做过的事情 state department has done, not everything,
都对世界有好处 has been good for the world.
但是世界人民可是比布什当政时 The world likes us a little bit better
更喜欢我们一点 对吗？ than when George W. Bush was in the White House, right?
所以 So.
还有什么？ But what else?
记住我不是希拉里支持者 还有什么 还有什么？ Remember I'm not a Hillary voter, so what else, what else?
她忘了告诉我们她病了 She forgot to tell us she was sick.
是的 那个 Yes, that one.
是肺炎 It was pneumonia.
她不愿告诉我们她有肺炎 She wouldn't tell us she had pneumonia.
我想说一点 And I want to say something about that.
我对此也不开心 I just feel bad
她没有说出她的肺炎的真相 that she didn't tell the truth about her pneumonia.
不是她骗了我们 And what I feel bad about is not her being a liar,
但她已经到了她生命中的一个阶段 but that she has got to a point in her life
在那里她甚至不能相信我们 where she can't even trust us.
如果她直接说 If she had just said
“我有肺炎 我周末得休息” "I've got pneumonia and I've got to take the weekend off."
这会引起什么反应？ What would the response have been?
这将会是 一个引起轰动的事情 It would have been, "It takes a village."
对吗？ Right?
她教会我们 What she taught us.
她不能绝对相信 She can't quite trust that
美利坚合众国 about the United States of America.
这是对我们来说是一个悲伤的评价 That's a sad commentary on us.
这不在她 That's not really on her.
我们能开始说点她的好话吗？ Can't we start saying something nice about her?
甚至是在场的特朗普支持者们？ You know, even the Trump people in here, you know?
或是保守派人们 伯尼支持者们 Or conservative people, Bernie people,
你们不能对希拉里·克林顿说点好话吗？ can't you say something nice about Hillary Clinton?
我们难道不是这么被教育长大的吗？ Isn't this they way we were raised?
不知道你们有没有 正如我祖母告诉我的 Didn't your grandmother tell you like she told me
“你可以对任何人说些好话 "You can say something nice about everybody
除了希特勒和演员马特·劳尔” except Hitler and Matt Lauer."
只是为了向你证明 我会开始 Just to prove it to you, I will start off,
我会开始说一些好话 I'll start off by saying something nice.
我会说出乔治·布什的三件好事 I'll say three things nice about George W. Bush.
迈克尔·摩尔 一直反对小布什
只是为了证明 只是为了证明这是可以做到的 Just to prove, just to prove this can be done,
Orange 字幕组
原创翻译 双语字幕
好吧？ all right?
第一 Number one,
我认为他在抚养两个女儿的事情上做的很棒 I think he did a good job raising those two daughters.
她们出落成非常棒的女人 他们似乎爱他们的爸爸 They seem like very fine women, they seem to love their dad.
第二 RED创始人博诺 Number two, Bono.
博诺称与布什和解 Bono credits Bush with breaking the log jam
并为非洲争取到艾滋病救助资金 and getting funds for AIDS relief in Africa,
布什出了不少钱 that Bush put a whole bunch of money
用于非洲的艾滋病救助 into Africa for AIDS relief.
第三 And number three,
他爱他的狗 um, he loves his dogs!
是的 这是第三 Yes, that's number three.
他爱巴尼 巴尼爱他 He loved Barney, Barney loved him.
他对狗都挺好 He was so good with those dogs.
看吧 这就是关于布什的三件好事 Okay, there's three nice things about Bush.
我已经说过了 I've said them.
所以 说些希拉里的好话 So, to say something nice about Hillary.
我们要从一位先生开始 We're gonna start with a man.
十七年前我拍摄了这个 I filmed this seventeen years ago,
我有一档节目叫做可怕的真理 I had a show called The Awful Truth
在布拉沃网络上 on the Bravo network.
并且 谢谢 And, thank you.
在莱温斯基丑闻 It was during the Lewinsky scandal,
克林顿和莱温斯基的性丑闻事件
和克林顿被弹劾的那段时间 and Clinton was being impeached,
很多的猜测认为 她可能会离开他 there was a lot of speculation that she might leave him.
我们在节目上也有这个想法 And we had this idea on the show,
我们试着出去找她偷偷约会的新闻 that let's go out and try and find her a date.
她应该跟一个好男人约个会什么的 She deserves a date with a nice guy.
如果我们在展台上准备好了 我们可以展示给大家了吗？ If we have that ready in the booth, can we show them?
这是1998年 This is 1998.
我们正在进行一个采访 We're doing an interview
关于希拉里·克林顿恢复单身 about Hillary Clinton being single.
- 真的吗？ - 是啊 你觉得怎么样？ - Oh really? - Yeah, what do you think?
我认为希拉里·克林顿的 Well I think that Hillary Clinton's
是一个很好女的人 我希望在这一年或者半年内她不是单身 a hell of a good woman and I hope she's not single
我希望他们还是呆在一起 in a year and a half, I hope they stay together
我认为他们会的 and I think they will.
我认为她对婚姻很上心 I think she's very committed,
我认为他对婚姻也很上心 and I think he's very committed.
你认为她不会出去有一个 You think that she's not gonna be out having a,
如果她是单身 你不想和她约会吗？ you don't wanna date her when she's single?
不会 我认为她很幸福 No, I think that she's very happy.
我希望她对她的丈夫很满意 I hope she's very happy with her husband.
我认为她比任何人都更了解她的丈夫 and I think she understands her husband better than anybody,
我想她会好好的 and I think she'll be just fine.
所以哇 好吧 So wow, okay.
好的？ Okay?
所以没有约会建议？ So no dating advice?
我不想给她任何约会建议 I don't wanna give her any dating advice.
她会和我们现任总统 She's gonna be married to our current president
长长久久地在一起的 for a long time.
- 好吧 唐纳德 - 我希望 - Alright, Donald. - I hope.
非常感谢 Thanks a lot.
我会告诉她你不感兴趣 I'll tell her you're not interested.
告诉她 Tell her.
玩的开心 Have a good time.
再见 Bye.
好吧 我刚离开迈克尔 他是个好人 Well, I just left Michael and he's a good man.
他是一个好人 他工作也做的很出色 He's a good man, he's done a good job.
是的 好的 谢谢 Yeah, okay, thanks.
- 凯 玩的开心 - 再见 - 'Kay, have a good time. - Bye.
看到了吗？ See?
他说了一些希拉里的好话 还说了些我的好话 See, he said something nice about Hillary, and me.
对 所以如果他能做到 你可以做到 Right, so if he can do it, you can do it.
谁都可以 举手就可以了 Anybody, just raise your hand.
来 你说 Yes, go ahead.
她资格高 She's overqualified.
这是一件好事吗？ Is that a nice thing?
对于我而言 通常是在我 Usually I'm, I used to be told that
面试失败的时候 听到这句话 when I didn't get the job.
就这 中间这 这位先生 Right down here in the center, yes, sir.
她超级聪明 She's super smart.
那里 Over here.
实际上 希拉里知道阿勒波在哪里 Hillary actually knows where Aleppo is.
希拉里知道阿勒波在哪里！ Hillary knows where Aleppo is!
不错哦 There you go!
有没有哪位 Do we have anybody, anybody from the
来自不喜欢希拉里阵营的 I don't like Hillary camp
可以来说说她的好 that can say something nice about her.
这 穿红色衣服的这位 Yes sir, in the red.
她什么？ She's what?
她总是支持他的丈夫？ She stood by her man?
是啊 Yeah.
那边的墨西哥人怎么看呢？ How 'bout the Mexicans up there?
她曾在水门事件委员会工作 以罢免理查德尼克松
是的 这是真的 True, that's very true.
让我们听听穆斯林人的意见 Let's check in with our Muslims.
他们在那里怎么样？ How are they doing up there?
我们听不清你的问题 无人机太吵了
好吧 我们会想办法弄好的 Okay, we'll have to get that fixed.
所以还有谁想来说说呢？ So anybody else?
来吧 Come on.
就在这里在前排 对的 Right down here in the front row, yes.
我认为她 I think she's every single thing
正是我们希望我们女儿成为的样子 we say we want our daughters to be.
她聪明睿智 工作努力 独立自主 She's smart, she works hard, she's independent,
她从不盲目地听从别人的意见 and she doesn't take any shit from anybody.
形容得真美 Wow, that was, that was beautifully put.
好吧 就在后面 是的 Alright, right behind, yes.
先生 就在那里 Sir, right back there.
我喜欢她的广告 她真的为我们而奋斗着 I like her ads, she really has fought for our,
你喜欢她的屁股？ You like her ass?
广告 商业广告 Ads. Commercial.
她的广告 哦 她的广告 Her ads, oh, her ads.
她是真的一生都在 She really has
为孩子们的机会而奋斗 fought for opportunity for kids for her entire life.
是的 这确实非常好 Yes, that's very nice.
好 让我来说说希拉里的好 Alright let me say something nice about Hillary.
我很高兴她杀了 文森·弗斯特 I'm glad she killed Vince Foster.
这是对她的又一个污蔑 杀了文森·弗斯特 That's another knock on her, she killed Vince Foster.
白宫法律顾问 White House Deputy Counsel,
克林顿已经在那里呆了六个月 the Clintons had been in there six months,
突然 一个星期天的早晨 他被发现死在了 all of a sudden, a Sunday morning he's found dead
停在波托马克河边一个公园的自己的车里 in his car in a park on the Potomac River,
头上有弹孔 手里握有一封遗书 bullet hole in the head and a suicide note in his hand.
从那以后有多久了？ And ever since that, how long?
我们这些人中 你比较年长？ Right, those of us, you're a little older?
自从1993年以来 我们还得听多久 Right, how long have we had to listen to this, since 1993
希拉里杀了文森·弗斯特的这个污蔑？ that Hillary killed Vince Foster?
我倒是希望是她做的 I hope she did.
因为要做成这件事 非能人不可 Because that's badass, man.
她怎么做的？ How'd she do that?
她一定在那周天去教堂之前 She must have jacked his car at like
大概在8点吧 用千斤顶把他的车顶起 eight in the morning on a Sunday before going to church,
然后朝他开枪 再写遗书 shot him, written that suicide note
像琼·贝妮特那样的遗书 并把它塞进他的手里 like a Jon Benet type note, put that it in his hand,
再回到白宫吃早餐 went back to the White House for breakfast.
还要让比尔完全不知道 Bill had no idea.
今天晚上回去上网 在谷歌搜索 Go on the Internet tonight and type in,
希拉里和谋杀案 Hillary and murderer into Google
看看会搜出一些什么 你会发现 and see what comes up, seriously.
她杀了46人 She has killed 46 people.
整整46个人呢 46 people.
而且完全是赤手空拳的 With her own bare hands.
女士们先生们 Ladies and gentlemen,
这就是我想要的总统 this is who I want for commander-in-chief.
是一个不害怕杀人的人 Somebody who's not afraid to kill somebody!
在尤利塞斯·辛普森·格兰特之后 We haven't had somebody in the Oval Office
我们总统办公室至今还没有谁杀过人 who has killed somebody since Ulysses S. Grant.
如果她是总统 ISIS is going to shit
ISIS肯定会惨败 if she's president.
而且你知道圣战的规则么 And you know what the jihadist rule is,
如果你被一个女人杀死 那你就不是殉道 it's not martyrdom if you're killed by a woman.
如果你是被一个女人所杀 那你就去不了天堂 If a girl kills you, you don't go to paradise,
你就得不到72个童女 you don't get the 72 virgins,
这感觉就好像你永远被在困在了一个高中自助食堂里 it's like you're in a permanent high school cafeteria table
这个自助食堂和其他的自助食堂一块而嘲笑你 all alone with the rest of the cafeteria mocking you
因为你是被一个女人杀死的 cause a girl killed you.
相信我 你们是不会想要一个一辈子都随时奴仆伴身 Listen you don't want the 70-year old out of shape guy
70高龄又身材严重走样的老家伙来做你们的总统的 who's had nannies and servants his whole life.
你们想要的是一个在半夜 You want somebody who, in the middle of the night,
会作为总司令和三角洲特种部队一起乘降落伞 as commander-in-chief, will parachute in with Delta Force
在恐怖分子还在呼呼大睡的时候去干净利落地 and slit the throats of two-dozen terrorists
结果20多个恐怖分子的总统 in their sleep.
是啊！ Yeah!
我今晚给你一个惊喜 Um, I got a surprise for you tonight.
特朗普阵营的一个人 Um, someone from the Trump campaign
已向我们泄露了他们的新广告的副本 has leaked us a copy of their new ad.
疾病 她确实有这些病 The diseases, she's had them all,
以下内容片段 请勿断章取义截取
肺炎 甲状腺功能减退 过敏 酵母菌感染 pneumonia, hypothyroidism, allergies, yeast infection,
尿道不适 怀孕 分娩 urinary tract discomfort, pregnancy, childbirth,
每月一次的体内失调 生病的地方会流血 time-of-month disorder, bleeding from wherever disease,
和更年期 and menopause.
你们想要大部分女性特征 Do you want a commander-in-chief
都失调的总统么？ whose lady parts are out of control?
或者你想要一个更适合的 健身型的领导么 Or do you want a fit, buff leader
一个有史以来 who will be the healthiest president ever?
最健康的总统？ Ever?
甚至比泰迪·罗斯福更健康 Even healthier than Teddy Roosevelt,
但是他却被一枪命中胸口 and he was shot in the chest.
没错 今年只有一个候选人 Yes, there's only one candidate this year
足够健康到能够创造一个全新的人类物种 healthy enough to spawn an entire new breed of humans.
投票给特朗普吧 他从来都没有生过病 Vote Trump, he never gets sick.
我能站在第五大道中间 Well I could stand in the middle of 5th Avenue
朝着某个人开枪 而不失去任何选民 知道吗？ and shoot somebody, and I wouldn't lose any voters, okay?
这就太变态（生病）了 Now that's sick.
我是唐纳德·特朗普 我这样批准这个消息 I'm Donald Trump, and I so approve this message.
精彩 Effective.
我想他会做得很好 I think he's gonna do really well.
我想告诉你一个小故事 I want to tell you a little story.
当我在1996年写第一本书时 When I wrote my first book in 1996,
《把它变小：来自一个手无寸铁的美国人的随意恐吓》 it was called Downsize This
其中有一章叫 And there was a chapter in there called
我对希拉里的禁忌之爱 My Forbidden Love For Hillary.
所以你可能已经看到了这些 And so you've probably seen these
不同的照片 different photographs
就是今晚舞台上我身后的这些照片 behind me on the stage here tonight.
对于她是第一夫人时 人们对待她的方式 I was just really upset with the way she was being treated
我非常不满意 when she was First Lady.
她一直被挑刺被批评 I mean she was being knocked and criticized all the time,
还被嘲笑 she was being made fun of.
嘲笑她的外貌 嘲笑她的着装 How she looked, how she dressed.
批评她和丈夫共同执政 And, and also for being the co-president.
是吧？ Right?
你们记得当她说他们是共同执政的时候的情况吗 Because, remember when she said that they were,
她在竞选期间饱受批评 she was being criticized during the campaign
当比尔第一次参加竞选的时候她说 when Bill first ran and she said,
“我不是一个一味呆在厨房里 "Look I'm not some little lady gonna be in the kitchen
烤饼干或者招待他人喝下午茶的小女人” "baking cookies and hosting teas."
对她的攻击就开始了 Attacks on her started then,
她从此就成为了深夜节目喜剧演员的压轴笑话了 and she was the butt of jokes of late night comedians.
我就记得一个 I remember there was one,
说的是 one joke was,
“你听说过肯德基的新推出的希拉里套餐吗？ "Hey have you heard about the new Hillary combo at KFC?
它有两个鸡腿（腿粗） 两块鸡胸肉（胸小） "It's got two large thighs, two small breasts,
和两个左边鸡翅（左翼）” "and two left wings."
我想了一会儿 我觉得 And I thought about it for a minute, and I thought,
对我来说听起来还不错啊 well, it sounds pretty good to me.
我只是 No but I just,
我只是觉得她很漂亮 I thought she was beautiful.
觉得她很聪明 I thought she was smart.
认为她是个好人 I thought she was a nice person.
我不明白这感觉究竟是什么 I didn't understand what this was.
所以我写了这一章 And so I wrote this chapter called
把它命名为我对希拉里的禁忌之爱 My Forbidden Love For Hillary.
然后我被邀请去白宫参加晚宴了 And I got invited to a White House dinner.
再给你们透露一点 晚餐是在 And to give you some context for this, the dinner took place
克林顿被弹劾的前一天晚上 the night before Clinton's impeachment, okay?
那天晚上是个什么情况呢 So what a night to be there, right?
他看起来不太好 He didn't look good. Um...
白宫里有我的照片吗？ Do we have the picture of me at the White house?
我在那呢 我在那呢 There I am, there I am.
我打扮了一下 对吧？ Hey, I clean up okay, right?
你在晚餐前通过接待路线 You go through this reception line before the dinner,
然后你走进东厅 and you walk into the East Room,
会有一个士兵在那里叫你进去 and there's a Marine guard there who announces you,
所以几乎有100人通过这条路线 and so there's like 100 people going through the line.
我站在那里 So I'm standing there,
并被告知 and you're told
“你有五秒钟 然后你就必须继续往前走 "You get five seconds, then you gotta keep moving.
和他们握手 说点好听的 然后继续往前走” "Shake their hands, say something nice, move on."
然后那位海军士兵介绍“总统先生和第一夫人 And the marine goes, "Mr. President and Madame First Lady,
这位是 迈克尔·摩尔？” "uh, Michael Moore?"
然后我走进去 So I walked in there,
克林顿总统抓住我的手说 and Bill grabs my hand, and he goes,
“噢 迈克尔·摩尔 我真的 我爱你 "Oh Michael Moore, I just, I love you.
我爱你的 我是你的头号粉丝 "I love your number one fan,
我爱你的节目 电视之国 "I love, I love your show TV Nation.
我记得你做了一集 "I remember that one episode you did,
你去了爱达荷 去了那个三K党集会 "where you went to Idaho, and you went to that Klan rally,
噢 那真的是” "oh that was just,"
那时候我心想 啥？ And I'm thinking, "What?"
显得这些克林顿家的很友好 Like these Clintons are good, man,
这里有100人 there's 100 people here
他为每个人都准备了一个故事 and he's got a story for every one of them.
他那时候引用的是一个模糊的情节 He's referencing an obscure episode,
出自一个NBC周五晚的电视秀 on a Friday night show on NBC,
是我的节目 of mine.
他说的就像 And he's like,
就像他很了解一样 it's like he knows,
正很准确地描述这一集 and he's accurately describing the episode.
而我想象的是 And I'm thinking, man.
“我很爱纪录片《罗杰和我》 "And I just I love Roger and Me,
我是你的头号粉丝” "You're just, I'm your number one fan."
在那一刻 希拉里把我的手 And at that moment, Hillary grabs my hand,
从他的手中拔出来 并对他说 takes it out of his hand, and says to him,
“不 你不是 我才是他的头号粉丝” "No you're not, I'm his number one fan."
然后她 And then she just,
她说“我只是想说 And she goes, "I just want to say,
那些你在书里写的关于我的话 "what you wrote about me in your book.
实在是太美妙了 "I'm just, it was so wonderful,
特别是书中的第一行” "and that first line in the book."
那时候我的脸开始变红了 And my face was turning red, right?
因为在那章叫 And, 'cause the first line in the chapter of
我对希拉里的禁忌之爱的第一行里 My Forbidden Love For Hillary,
在那章我印了她的这些照片 where I have all these photos of her,
第一行写的是 the first line was,
“希拉里·克林顿 她是一个狂热的智障女权主义者” "Hillary Clinton, she's one hot shit-kicking feminist babe."
“我只是 我爱一切 "I just, I love everything.
当你在 今日秀 上谈到我的时候” "And when you talked about me on The Today Show, that just,"
在那时候 我已经在那里了待太久 And now at this point, I had been there for too long.
她的助手走进来 Her aide is like stepping in,
因为她认为我妨碍了队伍的进度 because she thinks I'm holding the line up,
但其实是希拉里不让我走啊 but it's Hillary that won't let me go.
然后希拉里看到助手来了 And Hillary sees the aide coming,
她像这样 走开 走开 and she goes like this, "Shoo, shoo."
然后我说“我只是 听着 我只是想 And I said, "Well I just, listen, I just think,
我很抱歉你要经历这一切 "I'm so sorry you're going through all this
但你是一个好人 "with you know, but you're a good person.
而且你看起来像一个好妈妈 "And you seem like a good mom.
所以我认为你应该管理参议院” "And you should run for Senate."
我翻阅了所有的文件 And now, I could not, I went through all the files
试图找到那张拍到她握我手的照片 trying to find this picture of her holding my hand,
但我只找到有一张照片捕捉到 but there is a picture that was snapped
我正走开的那一幕 just as I walked away.
看这个 Okay, check this,
看看 看看 alright, look at this, look at this.
没错 这就是真相 That's right, that's the truth.
这是真的 看看这个 This is all true, look at that.
其中一人是真的很高兴 而另外一个恰恰相反 One of them is really happy, and one of them is not.
接着当她带我到林肯的卧室 And that's when she took me up to the Lincoln Bedroom, um...
不不不 别瞎想了 No, no, no, nothing happened, nothing happened.
总而言之 那对我来说是一个非常特别的时刻 I'm just saying though, it was a very special moment for me,
因为我觉得 她一直 because I just felt you know, she had been,
她的治疗结果很糟糕 it was, her treatment was just awful.
如果你很年轻 你不会懂那种感受 If you're young, you don't know this.
如果你已经死了 你也不会懂 If you weren't alive then, you don't know it.
但是那些活着的人 But people that were alive then,
你知道我在说什么 对吧？ you know what I'm saying, right?
我没有在胡编乱造 也没有夸大其词 是吧？ I'm not making this up, I'm not exaggerating it, am I?
你知道 这对于她是一次沉重的打击 You know, and the knock on her was just awful.
去年 我拍摄了我的一部纪录片电影《下一站入侵》 Last year, I was shooting my, a movie, "Where To Invade Next",
▇
我们去了这个国家 爱沙尼亚 and we went to this country, Estonia.
我想去那里是因为我想展示 I wanted to go there because I was trying to show
其它国家有哪些做得比我们好的地方 in different countries, what they do better than us,
我们可以从他们那里学到什么 and what can we learn from them.
所以我去了爱沙尼亚 And so, I went to Estonia because they are,
世界卫生组织说 the World Health Organization says
在爱沙尼亚 一个女人分娩时的死亡率 that you have the least chance as a woman,
是最低的 dying in childbirth in Estonia,
是全世界最低的国家 than in any other country on the planet.
但如果你住在克利夫兰 If you live in Cleveland,
女人在分娩过程中死亡的几率 you have a three times greater chance of dying in childbirth
是在爱沙尼亚的三倍 than you do in Estonia.
他们带我去了产房 And so they took me to the maternity ward,
那里的产科病房主治大夫 and they had the head doctor of the maternity ward,
带着我四处逛 and he's showing me around,
告诉我为什么他们在这方面能做的那么好 and he's telling me why they're so good at this.
当我们走到一条走廊上的时候 We're walking down this hallway,
墙上有一张照片 and there's a picture on the wall.
我示意他停下来 我说“等一下 And I stopped him, and I said, "Wait a minute.
我认识这张照片中的人” "I know the person in that photo."
这是我和那位医生在走廊里的时候 That's me and the doctor there in the hallway.
我们放大来看一下 Can we just punch in a little bit on this here.
这是希拉里·克林顿 正在与这位医生握手 It's Hillary Clinton, shaking this guy's hand.
我问道“这发生在哪里？” I said, "Where did this happen?"
他说“就发生在你现在站着的地方” He said, "It happened right where you're standing."
我说“噢我的天 这个跟她握手的人是谁？” I said "Oh my God, who's the guy?"
“是我 二十年前的我” "That is me, twenty years ago."
我说“噢我的天 I said "Oh my God.
她在爱沙尼亚做什么？” "Okay, so what was she doing in Estonia?"
“唔 你不记得了吗？ "Well, don't you remember?
她想要你们国民都能享有普遍的医疗保健 "She wanted you to have universal healthcare.
所以她在学习 "So she was studying.
为此她走遍了世界 "She went around the world to study it.
她来爱沙尼亚 "And she came to little Estonia
跟你来这里是出于同样的原因 "for the same reason you're here tonight.
为了找出为什么相比美国 "To find out why so many more women survive childbirth here
在这里的女人们更容易安全度过分娩” "than in the United States."
我说“噢我的老天 她来过这里？” And I said, "Oh my God, wow, she came here?"
“是的 然后她回去了 "Yes, and then she went back,
你们却没有理解她的用心良苦 "and you didn't listen to her.
相反的 你们羞辱她 攻击她 "Instead, you humiliated her, and attacked her.
因此你们度过了 "And you've gone twenty years now
没有普遍医疗保健的二十年 "without universal healthcare.
而我们能够享有” "And we've had it."
▇
我说“我拍了部电影《医疗内幕》” I said, "um, I made this movie, Sicko."
在制作电影时 and while making the movie I learned that
我从国会预算局那里了解到 according to the congressional budget office,
每年有近5万美国人 nearly 50,000 Americans die each year
因为一个简单的原因而死亡 for one simple reason.
他们没有健康保险 They don't have health insurance
或者说他们没有足够的健康保险 or they don't have adequate health insurance.
换句话说 不是因为疾病 In other words, not because of the disease,
不是因为医院里的细菌 not because of the germs in the hospital,
而是因为他们没有健康保险 but because they didn't have health insurance
因此他们选择推迟去看医生 they put off going to the doctor,
或者说他们拥有的是很糟糕的健康保险 or they had crappy health insurance
医生不能把他们送到 and the doctor couldn't send them to the specialist
应该送到的专科医师那里治疗 that he wanted to send them to.
所以他们死了 So they died.
仅仅因为是美国人 他们死了 They died only because they were Americans.
如果他们住在河对岸的底特律 If they lived across the river from Detroit
或者在加拿大温莎 他们会活着 in Windsor, Canada they'd be alive.
但是因为他们是美国人 他们死了 But because they were American, they died.
每年5万人 50,000 a year.
我坐在那里 我开始计算 And I sat there and I started doing the math of this.
20年 每年5万人死亡 Like, 20 years, 50,000 people dead.
天啊 Holy shit.
足足有一百万人 It's like a million people.
一百万美国人死去 That's a million of our fellow Americans dead
仅因为他们没有健康保险 because they didn't have health insurance.
如果他们在加拿大 法国或苏格兰 If they'd been Canadian or French or Scottish,
或智利 or Chilean,
或者在世界上的任何地方 or just about anywhere else in the world,
他们都不会死 they would have lived.
每年911 我们有烛光守夜和默哀仪式 Every 9/11, we have somber vigils and memorials
去纪念那些在袭击中死亡的3000名美国人 for the 3,000 Americans who died in that attack,
我们理应那么做 as we should.
为了3000人 3000.
直到现在我对911事件依旧感到痛心 I still tear up over it.
那时候我的一位制片人在从波士顿起飞的飞机上 One of my producers was on the plane from Boston
那部飞机撞上了北塔 that went in the North Tower.
我们没有为那些因这种恐怖主义行为 We shed no tears for the million Americans
而死去的百万美国人流泪 who have died from that act of terrorism.
一百万美国人死去了 One million dead Americans
之因为我们拒绝倾听希拉里·克林顿 because we refused to listen to Hillary Clinton.
我们是谁？ Who are we?
什么是恐怖主义？ And what is terrorism?
我们从来都没有想过 We don't think for one second
因为这个被贪婪操控着的医疗体制 about the one million dead Americans killed
一百万美国人死去了 by a system run by greed.
因为那些保险公司的贪婪 Greed of the insurance companies.
一百万死了 One million dead.
这是不对的 It's wrong, it's just wrong.
这可是一百万个同胞啊 One million of our fellow Americans.
谁又为他们流泪了？ Where are the tears for them?
他们的名字有刻在大理石墙上吗？ Where are their names on a marble wall?
我看到你们之中有些人站起来了 I saw some of you standing.
我知道为什么对此有这样的反应 I know why the response to that,
因为在我们身边都有这样的人 不是吗？ cause we all know somebody, don't we?
我们都有一个家庭成员 一个邻居 We all have a family member, a neighbor,
和我们一起上学的某个人 或者某个同事 somebody we went to school with, somebody at work,
甚至是在街上的某个人 或者某个我们听说过的人 somebody down the street, somebody we heard about.
他们推迟去看医生 They put off going to the doctor.
或者他们去了 但他们没有足够的健康保险 Or they went but they didn't have enough health insurance.
即使经历了奥巴马医改 And even with Obamacare
我们还有将近三千万人 we still have almost thirty million
没有健康保险 with no health insurance.
这些是都是我们的同胞 These are our fellow Americans.
然而希拉里却被攻击 And yet Hillary was attacked,
被侮辱 she was humiliated.
你们记得的吧？ You remember this, when this happened?
国会的人们总是摆着姿态 People in Congress were like "Get rid of her.
“摆脱她 她不是总统 "She's not the President.
没有人推举你” "Nobody elected you."
所以医疗改革这件事也不了了之 And it went down to defeat.
比尔当政时期 希拉里曾以第一夫人身份主持全民免费医改 最终被权贵所压制
再也没有人提起它 And it never got brought up again did it,
除了后来的奥巴马 until Obama started bringing it up.
没人再提起过 Never got brought up again.
他们迫使希拉里变成别人 And they forced her to change into someone else.
她被告知要闭嘴 She was told to shut up.
于是她开始烘烤饼干和准备茶 And she started baking the cookies and hosting the teas.
我不知道 我总觉得有什么不对劲 I don't know, something's wrong here.
在某种程度上 我们有机会救赎自己 In a way we have a chance to redeem ourselves,
不是吗 don't we, for this.
可能吧 我不知道 It's possible, I don't know.
教皇说什么 You know when you've got the Pope saying
你这么做是会遭天谴的 that what you're doing is a sin,
不去帮助病人是种罪恶 that it's a sin not to help someone when they're sick,
不免除他们医疗费用的忧虑是罪 and not have them worry about how much it cost them,
因为圣经这么写着的 对吧？ because in the Bible it says, right?
耶稣都规定好了 I mean Jesus laid it out,
我知道你们今天来不是为了上宗教课 I know you're not here for a religion lesson,
但如果你们相信 but if you believe in that,
耶稣说得很清楚了 对吧？ he lays it out pretty clearly right?
但这新教皇（方齐各） 他真的都懂 But this new Pope he gets it.
他是怎么一回事？ What's the deal with him?
哇 Whoa,
对吧？ right?
我的意思是 他是 I mean, he was,
他就像 就像 我是这么看的 he's like, he's like, I got a theory about him too
因为他出生在布宜诺斯 艾利斯 对吧？ because he was in Buenos Aires, right?
在军政府统治时期 During the time of the Junta,
在将军当道称雄的时期 during the time of the generals, right?
当所有那些人都死光了 就是他 When all those people were killed, he was the guy.
成为了天主教会的教皇 He was the guy for the Catholic Church there,
他做了什么？ what did he do?
他说了什么？ What did he say?
我什么也不记得 I don't remember anything.
我记得他当选教皇的那一天 I remember on the day he was elected pope,
我记得我在想 不好了 I remember thinking, "Oh, this is not good."
但在一个月内 他就表示 And then within a month, he's like,
“无神论者会去天堂” "Okay, atheists go to heaven."
无神论者去天堂？ Atheists go to heaven?
他说如果他能 He said if he could personally apologize
亲自向每个同性恋者 to every gay and lesbian,
就天主教给他们造成的伤害道歉 for the harm caused to them by the Catholic Church,
他会很乐意那么做 he would like to do that.
他说资本主义是罪恶的 Then he said capitalism is a sin.
他这么说我就想 我的天 When he said that I thought, oh my God.
我真的不知道你是否记得 I, actually I don't know if you remember this,
我对外公开 I volunteered publicly to be
自愿当他的汤味道试吃者 你知道吗？ his soup taste tester, you know?
那坏人这下肯定要把这家伙杀了 Like they're gonna kill this guy for sure now!
他说“你死了以后 你的宠物将在天上 He said, "When you die, your pets will be in heaven
那里迎接你” "there to greet you."
这人不会吧 对吧？ No this guy, right?
他是怎么当上教皇的？ How did he get the job?
这些年来他肯定保持沉默 He must have kept quiet all those years.
但是他一直在思考 在计划 But he's thinking, he's planning.
他让其他的红衣教主 He gets all these other cardinals
认为他是一个来自某个南美独裁政体的 to think he's some conservative asshole
保守派混蛋 from some South American dictatorship.
所以他们把票投给他 结果他们现在 Then they vote him in, and they're like, "Whoa!"
他们不知道该怎么办 They don't know what to do.
他一直忍耐 一直等待 But he bided his time, he bided his time.
我最近是有这疯狂的想法 我知道 And I've had this crazy feeling lately, and I know,
对不起 今晚给你们灌输了很多乐观主义 I'm sorry to lay too much optimism on you here tonight,
如果希拉里变成了我们的方齐各教皇呢？ what if, what if Hillary becomes our Pope Francis?
如果她有教皇方齐各的影子呢？ What if she has her Pope Frank moment?
如果她一直都是呢 对吧？ What if all this time, right?
这是她漫长等待的一部分？ This has been part of her long game?
自青年时期起 她就有了这种抱负 Like she's had this ambition since she was a teenager.
大学时 她做了个毕业演讲 When she was in college she gave the graduation speech.
如果你读过她的演讲 读起来像是参议员伯尼写的 If you read her speech, it reads like Bernie wrote it.
这确实是她22岁时的声音 This is actually her voice at the age of 22
在毕业演讲上 giving her graduation speech.
听听这个 Listen to this.
在相互信任 彼此尊重的气氛中 The struggle for an integrated life
为创建密切协调的生活而奋斗 existing in an atmosphere of communal trust and respect
会带来极其重要的 is one with desperately important
政治和社会后果 political and social consequences.
当然 其后果 And the word consequences, of course,
会让我们向未来迸发 catapults us into the future.
昨天发生了一件非常悲痛的事情 One of the most tragic things that happened yesterday,
天气很好 我正在和一个女人说话 a beautiful day, was that I was talking to a woman
她说她不想成为我 who said she wouldn't want to be me
不想要世上的任何东西 for anything in the world.
她今天就不想活下去了 She wouldn't want to live today
她不期待眼前的一切 因为她害怕 and look ahead to what it is she sees, because she's afraid.
我们总是身处恐惧之中 但我们没空去想它 Fear is always with us, but we just don't have time for it.
现在不行 Not now.
恐惧 Fear.
与希拉里同一个时代的女人 It's like the women of Hillary's generation
是现代最初的女权主义者 were the first feminists of the modern era.
她们由女性抚养长大 They were raised by women.
她们的母亲和祖母 Their mothers and grandmothers
不得不在二战期间出去打工 had to go to work during World War II
因为男人们都当兵去了 because the men were gone.
这是女性第一次能够 It was the first time women were able to
离开家 去工作 leave the house and have a job.
她们在工厂上班 在办公室工作 And they worked in factories, they worked in the office,
是她们让国家继续运转 they ran the country.
她们做了所有的工作 They did all the work.
然后战争结束了 男人们回家了 And then after the war, the men came home
他们要女人回去当家庭主妇 and they told the women to go back to the kitchen,
而且大多数人也照做了 and they did, most of them.
但这些人没有 But they didn't,
她们没有离开 也没有忘记 they didn't leave or forget what it was like
自由和财政独立的感觉 to have that freedom to earn their own money.
二战那个年代的女性 The women of that World War II generation
养育的一代 raised that next generation.
就是希拉里的一代 That's Hillary's generation.
今晚来到这里的肯定有这个年代的女性 There's women in here tonight of that generation,
甚至是和我一个年代的 of my generation even.
你们知道那个时候是什么样的 You know what it was like back then.
在座的年轻人 我有些话要对你们讲 Younger people in here, I gotta tell you something.
我要站出来 It was not pleasant
捍卫你们曾经的信仰 我不是很乐意 to stand up for what you believed in.
要说“我要这个怎么怎么样” It was not easy
很不容易 to say, "I want it to be this way."
她们遭受的骚扰 The harassment that they suffered,
她们在工作 在学校遭到的虐待 the abuse that they took at work, at school,
如果她们决定站出来 不再沉默 if they decided to stand up
她们就注定是孤独的 they were sure to be alone,
除了少数其他女性 other than a few other women,
一些支持她们的年轻女孩会陪伴她们 young girls that were with them.
希拉里经历了这一切 Hillary went through this whole thing.
她经历了同样的事情 She went through the same thing.
我看到一些女士在点头 I'm seeing some women nod their heads,
你知道我在说什么 you know what I'm talking about.
每天被人掐屁股 You know, getting pinched on the ass everyday
是很常见的情况 was a common occurrence.
人们可以对女性说任何难听的话 You could say all kinds of shit to women.
可以威胁她们 You could threaten them.
世上没有一种东西叫做 There was no such thing as
配偶虐待或什么 battered spousal abuse, whatever.
没有这么一个词 There was not a word for it.
希拉里在年轻时候 And the shit that Hillary took
所遭的罪 as a young woman,
嫁给比尔 克林顿 到阿肯色州拉票 marrying Bill Clinton, going to Arkansas.
她决定她要有自己的工作 She decided that she was going to have her own job.
她去为法律援助协会工作 She was going to work for the Legal Aid Society
帮助穷人获得免费法律帮助 helping poor people with free legal help.
阿肯色州的人们问“这算什么？” And people in Arkansas were like, "What's this?"
比尔落选了 He lost his election,
阿肯色州的专家表示 according to the pundits in Arkansas,
是由于她拒绝随夫更改姓氏 because she refused to change her last name to his.
她本来叫希拉里·罗德汉姆 She was known as Hillary Rodham,
所有报纸铺天盖地 人言蜚语 and all the papers, everybody said,
“你懂的 那里是阿肯色州” "Well you know, this is Arkansas."
所以下次选举时 为了帮助他 And so to help him out in the next election
她改了名字 she changed her name
改成了希拉里·罗德汉姆·克林顿 to Hillary Rodham Clinton.
为了进一步帮助他 她放弃了罗德汉姆的姓氏 And to help him out further on, she dropped the Rodham.
她愿意抑制和淹没自己 She was willing to subjugate and submerge herself
去帮助他成为总统 忍受所有事 to help him do this, and to take the shit for it.
关于这点我是这么看的 I have a theory about this,
我认为她一点也没忘记 I don't think she's forgotten one bit of this.
她在学校遭受到的虐待 I don't think she's forgotten one single inch
她一点也没忘 of this abuse from the time she was in high school,
一直到今天早上10点也是如此 all the way up until 10 o'clock this morning.
我认为一路走来 I think it's all there.
她一直都在忍耐 And I think that she's been biding her time.
我希望 往乐观一面想 My hope, my optimism for this,
希拉里 如果你现在有在看 Hillary, if you're watching this right now,
我有一种感觉 I have a feeling somebody is going to
有人会捎你一份今晚的影带 slip you a tape of this.
我只是想告诉你 I just want to tell you something.
我知道你一直在等待 等待 I know you've been waiting, and waiting,
等待 等待 and waiting, and waiting.
但你不是一个人 But you're not alone.
我们很多人都在陪你等待 A whole bunch of the rest of us have been waiting
为那光辉的时刻 那时候另一个性别 for that glorious moment when the other gender,
占多数人的性别 有机会主宰这个世界 the majority gender, has a chance to run this world,
有实权 能够伸张正义 to have real power, and kick some righteous ass.
我们指望着你能带来这样的一天 And we are counting on you to do this,
对不对？ right?
我想看看那个世界是什么样的 你们想吗？ I wanna see what that world looks like, don't you?
在那里她走进去 说 Where she's just gonna go in there and says,
“屁话都说够了” "Enough of the bullshit."
就职典礼和晚会过后 Inauguration Day, after all the inaugural balls,
她们会到白宫去 她和比尔会住进去 they pull up to the White House, her and Bill to go in.
她说“比尔不去 不 不 不 不 She says, "No Bill, no, no, no, no.
你留在布莱尔楼 "You're staying at Blair House.
我要去振兴这个国家 "I'm gonna go in here and run the country
以其应该运行的方式” "the way it should've been run."
然后她在白宫里 开始签名 And then she goes in there and she just starts signing
行政命令一个接一个 one Executive Order after another.
她的执政百日 对吧？ Her first 100 days, right?
像富兰克林·德拉诺·罗斯福那样 Like FDR,
不需要国会 like doesn't need Congress,
只是开始签署行政命令 just start signing Executive Orders.
移民们 你们留下 Immigrants, you stay.
签 Signed.
密歇根州 弗林特 给你们新的水管 签 Flint, Michigan, new water pipes for you, signed.
食品和药物管理局 Food and Drug Administration,
禁止高果糖玉米糖浆 签 high fructose corn syrup banned, signed.
监狱 立刻释放所有非暴力毒品罪犯 Prisons, release all non-violent drug offenders now.
签 Signed.
司法部 立刻起诉所有 Justice Department, prosecute all police
杀了手无寸铁的黑人的警察 签了 who kill unarmed black men now, signed!
这是我的愿望 Well that's my hope.
然后 她签完这些行政命令后 And after that, after she signs these Executive Orders,
她穿上那对了不起的靴子 then she puts on those shit-kicking boots
就是碧昂丝在球场上穿的那双 that Beyonce wore on the football field,
她上去国会山 她说 and she goes up to Capitol Hill, and she says,
“好 我是来这里终结这僵局的 "Okay, I'm here to end the gridlock.
没有 到这儿来吧 （非裔黑人传统圣歌） "No kumbaya.
谁要一起来？” "Who's up for it?"
因为美国大众相信公平 Because the average American believes in fairness.
他们认为 女性应该享受和男性一样的薪酬待遇 They believe women should be paid the same as men.
她们要喝干净的水 They want to drink clean water,
她们要呼吸洁净的空气 they want to breathe clean air,
大多数美国人确实相信气候变化 the majority of Americans do believe in climate change.
如果这些家伙不去做他们的本职工作 And if these guys aren't gonna do their job,
她会摆平那些人 she'll make them do the job.
她可以成为我们的教皇方齐各 And she can be our Pope Francis,
有可能 对吧？ maybe, right?
但是在这里 我想说的是 But here's what I, this is, I want to say this
还是别想了吧 因为 just to close out, because
我觉得这不会发生 I think that this isn't gonna happen
如果我们再次背弃她 if we leave her on her own again
就像在实行医疗政策的那些日子里那样 the way we abandoned her back during the healthcare days.
她的身后就需要进行一场革命 She's gonna need a revolution behind her,
伯尼革命 the Bernie revolution.
那就是伯尼说的 在11月9日 That's what Bernie says, November 9th,
选举后的第二天 对吧？ the day after the election, right?
我们的责任不仅是让她坚守她自己的诺言 It's our responsibility to hold her to her word,
而且也要在她坚持不懈的时候 but also when she does follow through
在那里支持她 做她的后盾 to be there to support her, and get behind her.
让我说的话 如果出于某种原因 And let me say this, if for some reason
她出尔反尔 不准备兑现了 she goes back on her word, she doesn't do these things,
两年后 and after two years of this,
她没有完成当初她承诺做的事情 she hasn't done what she said she's gonna do,
那我今晚在这里 在俄亥俄州 威尔明顿向你们宣布 I am here tonight in Wilmington, Ohio to announce to you
我会参加2020年美国总统竞选 my candidacy for president of the United States in 2020!
我要去竞选 I will run!
我知道卡内已经说了他要竞选 I know Kanye has already said he's gonna run,
我会和卡内一起竞选 卡内也会和我一起 I'll run with Kanye and Kanye can run with me.
我会去参加美国总统的选举 I will run for President of the United States!
各位女士们 先生们 And ladies and gentlemen, ladies and gentlemen,
我来告诉你们我要做些什么 let me tell you what I'm going to do
如果你在2020年推举我做总统 if you elect me president in 2020.
第一 所有设备将会用一样的充电线 Number one, there will be one charge cord for all devices,
你们的手机 平板电脑 和笔记本 共用一个充电线 your phone, your tablet, your computer, one charge cord.
如果你们选我当总统 HBO免费观看 If you elect me president, free HBO for all Americans!
是的 Yes!
我会拯救美国邮政总局 I will save the US Postal Service
通过让每个邮递员 在星期五的时候 by having every mailman and mailwoman, on Friday,
将一克大麻送到你们的邮箱里 deliver one gram of weed to your mailbox,
给每个人 每个人 everybody, everybody!
为了周末 两个大麻烟卷 For the weekend, two joints,
给所有的美国人每个周末准备的两个大麻烟卷 two joints for all Americans every weekend!
这样的周末会更加美好 It will be a better weekend.
当我担任总统时 When I'm president,
只有女性才能购买和拥有枪支 only women will be able to buy and own guns.
有了这个意义非凡的计划 I will bring down the murder rate
我会降低犯罪率 significantly with this plan.
如果我们需要去打仗 In case we need to go to war,
第一批冲锋陷阵的人 the first people on the ship over to the war
将会是CEO们的后代 will be the offspring of the CEOs
和国会的议员们 他们会冲在最前面 and the members of Congress, they will go first.
当我担任总统时 企业不再是私人的 When I'm president, corporations will not be people.
我们要有一个新的国歌 一个我们都会唱 We're gonna have a new national anthem, one we can sing,
一个第三节没有种族歧视的歌 and one that doesn't have a racist third verse.
国歌歌词中：没有任何避难所可以挽救这被奴役和奴隶的人
我们的新国歌就叫作 Our new national anthem will be
我们是世界最强 We Are the Champions of the World.
我们将会有新的敌人 We're gonna have new enemies,
不再是什么狗屁朝鲜和伊朗 no more of this North Korean and Iran shit.
而是孟山都公司（转基因农作物）和富国银行（臭名昭著的财团） Our new enemies will be Monsanto and Wells Fargo.
最后 我在白宫的四年里 And finally, during my four years in the White House,
将有免费的裂香蕉冰淇淋 there will be free banana splits
是为所有的美国人准备的 在7月4日这天 for every American on the Fourth of July,
从俄亥俄州威尔明顿送出给你们 sent to you from Wilmington, Ohio.
每个人都会去工作 都能在这里找到工作 Everybody's gonna work, everybody's gonna work here.
再和你们说一点 And let me tell you,
既然我们有共识了 as we close,
我只是想再说说关于希拉里的事 I just want to say a word again about Hillary
你现在还是不喜欢她 还是很讨厌她 and you still don't like her, you still hate her.
你不想给她投票 You don't wanna vote for her.
我满怀真诚对你们说以下这番话 Let me just say this to you very sincerely.
我请求你们为你们的国家做出牺牲吧 I'm gonna ask you to make a sacrifice for your country.
我不会要求你停止恨她 And I'm not gonna ask you to stop hating her.
如果你讨厌她 就继续讨厌下去 好吗？ If you want to hate her, just keep hating her, all right?
对此我不想试着说服你了 I don't want to try and convince you any more of this.
如果你讨厌她 恨她 If you hate her, hate her.
我希望你们能在11月8号选举日这天起床 I want you to get up on Election Day on November 8th,
希望你们在有着希拉里 and I want you to wake up out of your
的噩梦中醒来 Hillary nightmare dream.
希望你们冲个澡 I want you to get in the shower
带着对希拉里的恨冲着澡 and have a real hate Hillary shower.
用肥皂搓一搓 反复清洗一下你自己 Suds yourself up, rinse and repeat.
然后上车 Then get in the car
开车的时候尽可能释放你的路怒症 and drive with all the road rage you can.
“哦 我讨厌希拉里 "Oh, I hate Hillary!
我简直恨死她了” "I hate her so much!"
我希望你能开车到投票地点 And I want you to drive to the polls,
开车去投票地点 I want you to drive to the polls.
然后下车 走进去 去投票厅 Get out of the car, walk in there, go in the voting booth,
你会在选票上看到她的名字 and you're gonna see her name on the ballot
然后你会说“去他的希拉里 and you're gonna go, "Mother fucking Hillary!
不可能” "No way!"
不 可能 可能 因为美国需要你 But yes way, way because America needs you.
你要为你的国家这样做 好吗？ You're gonna do this for your country, all right?
但是 对她还是讨厌的 Keep hating her, though.
尽情的讨厌她 Keep hating her all you want.
但你只要拿起那支钢笔 But just pick up that pen.
拿起那支钢笔 Pick up that pen.
你可能需要另一只手 You might need the other hand.
握紧它 按住你的手臂 Hold it down, hold your arm,
“不行 我不能这样 我恨她” "No, I can't I hate her!"
是的 我知道 Yes, I know.
“不 不要逼我 不要 "No, don't make me Mike, no!
不要 要要” "No, yes!"
写吧 Do it!
嘭 Boom.
“哦 我感觉太糟糕了 "Oh, I feel so awful.
我竟然投票给希拉里·克林顿” "I voted for Hillary Clinton."
没关系 你应该觉得糟透了 That's okay, feel awful, you should.
回家吧 继续讨厌她 Go home, keep hating all you want,
但你对这个国家做了好事 but you've done something good for this country.
那天晚上 十一点 And on that night, at 11pm,
当投票结果出来时 when the poll results come in
我们发现咱们选出了 and we find out that we've elected
美国的第一位女总统 the first woman president of the United States,
我们应该感到高兴 不是吗？ we are all gonna rejoice, aren't we folks?
我们会有一个大聚会 We are all gonna have a big party.
一个盛大的聚会 A big party.
我们要去庆祝 And we're gonna celebrate.
我们要把文森·福斯特挖出来再杀他一遍 We're gonna go and dig up Vince Foster and kill him again!
谢谢大家 晚安 再见 Thank you everybody, good night!
谢谢 谢谢你们 Thank you, thank you!
深入川普之地
去投票吧 Go vote!
总导演 迈克尔·摩尔
去投票吧 俄亥俄州！ Go vote, Ohio!
翻译 Libsu苏苏
特朗普之地 Trumpland!
翻译 毛毛
翻译 吕过吕乎
翻译 Chilam
谢谢大家 Thank you everyone!
翻译 Lenachow
翻译 はな
校对&后期 Libsu苏苏
压制 失梦旅行
Orange纪录片制作组 原创译制
Orange字幕组 http://www.orangesub.com/
那边的墨西哥人 走的时候 Mexicans up there, don't forget to pay!
别忘记支付墙的费用 When you leave the wall, you have to pay for that wall.
Orange 字幕组
原创翻译 双语字幕