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Suspect described as white male, approximately 30.
Suspect about 5' 11", medium build, brown dark pants.
Suspect number two, about 6'1", medium build, round glasses, dark clothes.
Be advised, suspects are armed and considered extremely dangerous.
Use caution.
Hey, Earl. Yes, sir.
What do you know? - Well...
It's a hot goddamn day.
I haven't felt it a bit.
Been inside with the air conditioner blasting all day long.
- Oh, is that right? - That's right.
Didn't you break for lunch or nothin'?
All by myself today. Ate my lunch out of the microwave.
Jesus H. Christ, Pete.
When you gonna learn that microwave food will kill you faster than a bullet?
I mean, them damn burritos ain't good for nothin' but a hippie.
When he's high on weed.
- Pull me down a bottle of that Jack, will ya? - Yeah.
I think I'm gonna get tanked tonight.
What's the matter?
Yep.
It's been one long, goddamn, hot, miserable, shit-ass, fuckin' day,
every inch of the way.
First off. Nadine over at Blue Chip got sort of sick.
So she got that goddamn, Mongoloid boy of hers workin' the grill.
I mean, that fuckin' idiot doesn't know rat shit from Rice Krispies.
They eat breakfast about 9:00.
And I'm pukin' up pigs in a blanket,
like a sick, fuckin' dog by 10:30.
Isn't there a law or something against retards serving food to the public?
Well... If there ain't, there oughta be.
I mean, who in the hell knows what's goin' on
in the mind of a goddamn Mongoloid?
Nadine should've hit that boy in the head and sold the fuckin' milk.
You could sue the shit out of her, you know that?
That kid belongs under a circus tent, not flippin' burgers.
- You could own that fuckin' place. - Oh, shit, Pete.
What would I do with that grease pit?
Besides, Nadine's got a cross to bear.
I mean, taking care of that potato head.
I guess you heard about that shit up in Abilene? Bank robbery?
That's all that's been on the box all day.
They killed some people, didn't they?
Yeah. Killed four Rangers,
three cops,
one civilian.
Took a lady bank teller, hostage with them.
Supposed to be headed for the border, which'd bring 'em right my way.
If I get my hands on them crazy, sick, fuckin' bastards, it's payback time.
I mean... Well, we'll get 'em.
We'll get 'em.
Oh, I don't doubt it.
Well...
I gotta drain my lizard.
Mind if I use your commode?
- Knock yourself out. - Thank you.
You're welcome.
You think I'm fuckin' playin' with you, asshole?
Do you want this little girl to die? Or that little girl? Or yourself?
Or your bosom buddy with the badge? Now, I don't wanna do it.
But I will turn this place into the fucking, Wild Bunch if I think you are fuckin' with me.
What do you want from me? I did what you said.
You let him use the bathroom.
- No store does that. - He comes in here everyday and we bullshit.
He's used my toilet a thousand times. If I told him no,
- he'd know something was up. - All right, I want him out of here,
in his car and down the road or you can change the name of this place
to Benny's Worid of Blood.
- Were you giving that pig signals? - Are you kidding? I didn't do anything!
- He says you were scratching. - I wasn't scratchin'!
- Are you callin' him a liar? - I'm not callin' him a liar, okay?
I'm simply sayin', if I was scratchin', I don't remember scratchin'.
And If I did scratch, it's not because I was signaling.
It's because I'm fuckin' scared shitless!
Wait a minute. The guy's in the bathroom.
Why don't I just go back there, shoot him in the back of the head
- and we can get the hell outta here. - Don't do that.
Look. You asked me to act natural and I acted natural.
Under the circumstances, I think I oughta get
a fuckin' Academy Award for how natural I'm actin'.
You asked me to get rid of him. I'm doin' my best!
Well, your best better get a hell of a lot fuckin' better
or you are gonna feel a hell of a lot fuckin' worse.
Everybody, be cool. You... Be cool.
Yep. Be back at it tomorrow.
Tonight I'm gonna sit in front of that box and get higher than a Georgia pine.
How much you want for that hooch, Pete?
Oh, $6.50.
Jesus Christ.
- You buckin' for early retirement? - Shit, yeah.
Hey! Hey!
- What the fuck is that about? - He signaled the Ranger.
I didn't! Ya gotta believe me! I didn't!
When they were talking, he mouthed the words, "Help us."
- You fuckin' liar! I didn't say shit! - Oh, just shut the hell up!
Hey! You stop it! What the fuck is your problem?
- Goddamn it. - Seth, he did it!
You were by the beer cooler with your back turned.
I was by the magazines. I could see his face!
And I saw him mouth the words, "Help us."
Start the car.
- You believe me, don't you? - Yes. Shut up and start the car, all right.
Start the car. - You believe me?
Start the car. You know that? Shut the fuck up and start the car.
Wait a minute. - I believe you. Start the car!
You're not just saying that?
- You do believe me? - I believe you! Let's go!
- That means you believe me. - Yes, I believe you!
You should, because I'm right.
- Richie! - Yeah?
- You okay? - He shot me in the fucking hand!
- Like I told you he said "Help us." - I never said, "Help us"!
Well, that doesn't matter now, because you got about two fuckin' seconds to live!
- Richie? - Yeah?
When I count to three, you shoot the bottles out from behind him.
Oh, yeah!
- One... - Fuck!
Two...
Three!
What did I tell you? What did I say to you?
I said, "Buy the roadmap and leave."
What the fuck am I supposed to do, Seth?
- He recognized us. - He didn't recognize shit.
Seth, I'm telling you, the way he looked at us.
You, especially, I knew he knew.
Low profile! Do you understand the meaning of the words "low profile"?
"Hey, Richie, how's your hand?" "It hurts like a fuckin' son of a bitch!
"Thanks for askin'." - Let me tell you what "low profile" is not.
It is not taking giris hostage. It is not shooting police.
- It is not setting fire to a building. - Bitch, bitch, bitch.
Hot air hangs like a dead man
From a white oak tree
People sittin' on porches
Thinkin' how things used to be
Dark night
It's a dark night
Dark night
It's a dark night
My wife left home about a week ago
She stole the kids and she took all my dough
Oh, screw it! Goddamn you! Goddamn you!
What the hell do you want?
What do you think I want, you mean, old bastard? I want a fuckin' room.
Okay, all right.
She peed on the carpet She shot my horse
Now things are goin' from better to bad to worse
- Do they have cable? - No.
- Do they have the X-rated channel? No.
Do they have a water bed? - Nope.
- What do they got? - They have four walls and a roof
and that's all we need.
All right, pop the trunk. Let's do this fast.
Oh.
Don't say a word.
You, plant yourself in that seat.
- What are you gonna do with me? - I said "plant yourself." Plants don't talk.
Now, you wanna get on my good side? You sit still and you don't make a peep.
All right, how does this feel?
How do you think? It hurts like a son of a bitch.
- It's wrapped too tight. Nice and easy. - Okay.
All right. Okay, I'm gonna go get the money.
It's 6:00. What time's it get dark around here?
- About 8:00. - Good.
I'm goin' to the border, check things out. I'm gonna call Carlos,
try and arrange some sort of a rendezvous. I don't know what.
Could you see if he could arrange a better deal than 30%?
It's their standard deal. They're not gonna change that for us.
- Did you even try and negotiate with them? - Richie.
These guys are not spic firecracker salesmen from Tijuana.
They don't even know the meaning of the word "barter."
You wanna stay in El Rey, you give them 30% of your loot. It's scripture.
So it is written, so shall it be done. Yeah, I know, listen.
Hey, you want sanctuary, you gotta pay the price. The price is 30%.
- All I'm sayin', man... - This conversation's over.
Okay?
We need to have a talk.
- What's your name? - Gloria.
Hello, Gloria. I'm Seth. That's my brother Richie.
Let's cut to the chase.
I'm gonna ask you one question and all I want is a yes or no answer.
Do you wanna live through this?
- Yes. - Good.
Rule number one. No noise. No questions.
If you make a noise, Mr. 44 makes a noise.
If you ask a question, Mr. 44 answers it.
Now are you absolutely, positively clear about rule number one?
- Yes. - Rule number two.
You do what we say, when we say it.
If you don't, see rule number one.
Rule number three. Don't you ever try and fucking run on us,
'cause I got six little friends and they can all run faster than you can.
Open your eyes.
Gloria, you hang in there, you follow the rules.
And you don't fuck with us and you'll get out of this alive.
- I give you my word. - Okay.
I'll be back in a minute.
You wanna come over on the bed and watch TV with me?
Hail!
Come on.
Have a seat.
Take off your shoes.
You got about two more hours
until we get into El Paso
which is right next to the border.
Then we'll stop at a motel.
Stop?
We're not actually gonna stop at a motel, are we?
Yeah, what for? We have a motor home.
We don't wanna stay in those roach-haven motels, do we?
- We're self-contained. - We're self-contained.
Okay, okay.
Maybe I was a little overzealous. But gimme a break, I just bought it.
- How come you wanna stop anyways, Dad? - I'm exhausted.
Exhausted? Just lie in the back, Dad. I can drive us into Mexico.
I just bet you would. Don't even think about it.
Besides, I wanna have
just one night's sleep in an honest to goodness bed.
The beds in the home are okay, but...
They're not like a real bed.
Excuse me. I have to use the restroom.
Oh, guess what? When I called the machine to check the messages,
one of them was from Bethel Baptist.
And Mr. Franklin said that
he wouldn't permanently replace you until we came back.
- And he said that... - That's very nice of Ted.
But I'll call him tomorrow and tell him not to bother waiting.
Daddy, I didn't wanna talk about this in front of Scott because he gets upset.
But I just wanna know.
Don't you believe in God anymore?
Not enough to be a pastor.
Look, I know this is hard on you kids.
But after Jenny's death, this is probably the last thing you need,
but my congregation needs spiritual leadership.
Well... My faith is gone.
To answer your question. Yes, I do believe in Jesus.
Yes, I do believe in God.
But do I love them?
No.
Well, it's just that all our lives, you've been a pastor.
And then, one day you're just gonna wake up and say, "Fuck him"?
I didn't say, "Fuck him."
Every person who
chooses the service of God as his life's work has something in common.
I don't care if you're a preacher, a priest,
a nun, a rabbi or a Buddhist monk.
Many, many times during your life, you'll look at your reflection in the mirror
and ask yourself,
"Am I a fool?"
I'm not going through a lapse.
What I've experienced is closer to awakening.
But Daddy,
what do you think Mom would say?
Mama's got nothin' to say. She's dead.
This bloody crime spree started just a week ago today.
The oldest of the two brothers, Seth Gecko,
was serving time in Roll Kansas State Penitent
for his part in the 1988 Scott City bank robbery
in which two law enforcement officers lost their lives.
It was while at the courthouse that this man, his younger brother, Richard Gecko,
a known armed robber and sex offender pulled off a daring daylight escape,
resulting in the death of four Wichita law enforcement officers and this woman,
Heidi Vogel, sixth grade teacher, who was run over by the Geckos
during a high-speed pursuit through downtown Wichita.
And earlier today, during a daylight liquor store robbery in Big Springs,
the Gecko brothers killed another Texas Ranger,
Earl McGraw and liquor store clerk, Pete Bottoms.
That changes the death toll to 16.
Five Texas Rangers, eight police officers, three civilians
and one hostage, bank teller and mother of four, Gloria Hi
For the time being, we're very confident that we'll apprehend these fugitives
within the next 48 hours.
The Bureau, local law enforcement and the Texas Rangers
have all joined in forming a dragnet to snare Seth and Richard Gecko.
Is it safe to assume that because of the death count involved
and the loss of life of law enforcement officers,
that the Bureau, the Rangers and the police force
are taking this manhunt personally?
I would say that's a very safe assumption.
Shit, I was really worried. Where the fuck you been, man?
- Sightseeing. - What'd you see?
The cops.
- Did you see the border? - Yes, I saw the border.
What'd the TV say?
They're gonna apprehend us in about 48 hours.
I gotta figure out a way to get us across this goddamn border.
The longer we stay here, our lives ain't worth shit. Here you go.
We gotta get our asses into Mexico tonight.
Then Carlos is gonna meet us there at the rendezvous tomorrow morning.
He and his boys, all of them are gonna escort us into El Rey.
And...
- Where's the woman? - What?
What do you mean, what? The woman. The hostage, the fuckin' hostage.
Richard, where is she?
She's in there.
- What the fuck is she doin' in there? - Seth, wait a minute.
Seth.
Richard, what's wrong with you?
Before you flip out, okay,
- let me just explain what happened. - Explain to me.
I need an explanation. What is the matter with you?
There's nothing wrong with me, Brother.
That woman tried to escape and I did what I had to.
No, the woman wouldn't have said shit if she had a mouth full of it.
Wrong, wrong, wrong.
- Yeah. - After you left,
- she became a completely different person. - Yeah.
Is it me? Is it my fault?
- It's not your fault. - Is this my fault?
- No, it's her fault. It's not your fault. - Is this my fault?
- Do you think that this is what I am? - I don't.
This is not me. I am a professional fucking thief.
I don't kill people that I don't have to and I don't fucking rape women.
What you are doing... What you are fucking doing...
What you are doing is not how it's done. Do you understand that? Do you?
Just say, "Fucking yes." Say, "Yes, Seth, I understand."
Yes, Seth, I understand.
Say it. Say, "Yes, Seth, I fucking understand!"
I understand, Seth. I fucking understand.
We'll get to Mexico and it's gonna be sweet rosemary
and a hundred proof liquor...
...and rice and beans and none of this shit's gonna matter.
I can't believe he's stoppin' here. This place is totally cruddy.
Dad, why are we stoppin' here?
There's nothin' wrong with this place.
It's a flophouse.
It's not a flophouse.
It's basic and it's simple.
That doesn't make it a flophouse.
All right. Well, if it doesn't have a pool,
then we're goin' someplace else.
It has a bed.
That's all I care about.
Well, other places have beds, too,
and they also have a gym...
Geez, what is this guy's problem?
No idea.
Creepy guy.
What?
Yes, I'm your neighbor from room 11
and I hate to disturb you, but I'd like to ask a favor.
I hope none of this is disturbin' you.
Hi. I'm from room 11.
And me and my lady friend need some ice and we don't seem to have an ice bucket.
If it's not too much trouble, could I possibly borrow yours? I'll bring it right back.
- Sure. - Thank you.
What is this?
It's called a punch.
Lose the guitar.
What's your name?
- Jacob. - Jacob, get up. Get on the bed.
If you make a wrong move, I will shoot you in the face.
Open your mouth.
Wide!
Let's go. Let's move the Jap over here, too. Let's go.
So what's the story with you two? You a couple of fags?
He's my son.
How's that happened? You don't look Japanese.
Neither does he. He looks Chinese.
Oh, ooh, well, excuse me all to hell.
- What's this about, money? - It's about money, all right, but not yours.
My brother and I, we're in a little hot water and we need your assistance.
Stop!
What's goin' on?
We're having a bikini contest and you just won.
It's okay, honey. Everything's gonna be all right.
Just listen to your daddy, sugar, and you don't do anything stupid.
You two, Simon says, sit the fuck down.
Sit down.
Now, where are the keys to the motor home?
- On the dresser. - Good. All right.
Richie, you take these keys, you start this big bastard up and drive it up front.
Richie, would you do me a favor and eat my pussy for me? Please?
- Sure. - Richie, hey!
Not when you get around to it. Now.
You, Gidget, go in the bathroom and put on some clothes.
You got three minutes. One second longer, I shoot your father in the face.
- Do you understand what I just said? - Yes.
- Do you believe me? - Yes.
You damn well better. Go.
Look, if you want the motor home,
just take it and get out.
It's not gonna be that easy, Pops. We're gonna go on a little ride.
Not a chance.
- Come again? - If you're takin' people, take me.
But my kids aren't going anywhere with you.
Sorry, Pops. I need everybody.
My children are not goin' with you and that's that.
That's not fucking that. This is fucking this.
Dad.
You sit down. Sit down.
You, go sit over there. Go sit over there, now. Move it.
Sit down.
Now, I don't have time to fuck around, so I'm gonna make this simple.
You take your kids and you get in that motor home
or I will execute all three of you right now.
So, what's it gonna be?
Yes or no, answer.
Yes.
Hey, your old man's all right. He just saved your life.
Time's up, princess. Here we go.
Okay, ramblers, let's get rambling.
Excuse me.
What?
- Where are you takin' us? - Mexico.
What's in Mexico?
Mexicans.
- Richie? - Yeah?
Put in your bit.
I grind my teeth.
What are their names?
- Scott and Kate. - Scott and Kate.
Who's this?
- My wife. - Where is the little lady?
- In heaven. - She dead?
Yes, she is.
How'd she die?
Auto wreck.
Come on, Jacob. Gimme some more details.
How'd it happen? Some fucking drunk kill her?
No. It was a rainy night.
The brakes on the car weren't great.
She had to stop suddenly.
She slid on the road. She crashed. She died.
- She died right away? - Not quite.
She was trapped in the wreck for about six hours
before she passed on.
Yep. Those acts of God really stick it in and break it off, don't they?
Yes, they do.
Is that real?
- Yes. - I've seen one of these things before.
A friend of mine had himself ordained, a minister of his own religion.
Some way to fuck the IRS.
Is that what you're doing or are you the real McCoy?
The real McCoy?
You're a preacher?
I was a minister.
"Was" as in not anymore?
- Yes. - Why'd you quit?
I think I've gotten about
as up close and personal with you as I'm gonna get.
Let's just keep this friendly, okay, Pops? Let's not get too sensitive.
You're right. Enough with the gettin' to know you shit. All right.
I don't give a rat's ass about you or your fuckin' family.
You can all live forever or you can die this second.
And I don't give a shit which.
The only things that I care about are me,
that son of a bitch back there in the back and our money.
So you help us get across the border without incident.
You stay with us through the night without trying anything funny,
without trying to escape.
And in the morning, I'm gonna let you guys go, all of you.
How do I know you'll keep your word?
You have to convince me you're tellin' the truth.
Look, dickhead, the only thing that you have to be convinced about
is the fact that you are stuck in a situation with a couple of real mean motor scooters.
And I don't want to have to worry about you all fuckin' night.
You know, I don't think you wanna be worrying about my brother's intentions
towards your daughter all night, either.
Did you notice the way he was looking at her?
Yes.
- You didn't like it, did you? - No, I didn't.
I didn't think so. You get us into Mexico
and you don't try to escape and your daughter will be safe.
And in the morning, I will let you go. I give you my word, Jacob.
If he touches her, I'll kill him!
Fair enough. You break your word, I'll kill all of ya.
You got me all crazy
I can't get outta bed
Bones are achin'
Backed up in my head
Dengue woman
Stay away from me
You got your aches and pains
Over me
Did you mean what you said back there in the room?
What?
In the room?
Did you mean what you said back there, or were you just foolin' around?
Because if you really want me to do that for you, I will. I'd be happy to.
- Do what? - What you said back there in the room?
What did I say?
- You asked me if I would eat... Richie.
What?
I told you to watch those kids. Not to talk to them.
You don't have nothin' to say to one another. So let's just cut the chatter.
We'll talk later. Okay?
All right, everybody. It's show time.
Richie, you take Kate into the bathroom. Scott, get up here with your dad. Let's go.
Now, what are you gonna say?
I don't have the slightest idea.
Just keep thinking about the gun next to Kate's head.
Get in.
This isn't gonna work, Seth.
Shut up. It's gonna work just fine.
Hey, what are you gonna do?
I'm gonna try and get us across the border.
Dad, you have to tell them that they're back there.
Have you forgotten about your sister?
I want to go on record right now as saying that this is a very bad idea.
Duly noted. Now shut up.
Oh, my God. Look over here. Step right over there.
They're gonna kill us, Dad. They're gonna get us across the border,
take us out in the desert, then they're gonna fuckin' shoot us.
If they get over the border, they're gonna let us go.
No, they won't. Dad, come on. I watch those reality shows. They never let anybody go.
Any cop'll tell you, in a situation like this, you get a chance, you go for it.
It may not seem like it, but I know exactly what I'm doing.
You're gonna have to trust me on this.
I can't do that, Dad.
If you don't tell the cops, I will.
Now listen to me!
You ain't gonna do a goddamn thing! You hear me?
I'm running the show! I make the decisions!
He is running the show.
- I'm running the show! I'm running the show! - Dad!
Shh. I make the plays.
You back the plays I make.
I need your cover.
Cover me.
How many with you?
Just my son and I.
What's your purpose in Mexico?
Vacation. I'm taking him to see his first bullfight.
They're gonna search the van.
As long as you don't act like a fuckin' nut, we're gonna be just fine.
What the hell's that supposed to mean?
- What? - You just called me a fuckin' nut.
- No, I didn't. - Yes, you did.
You said, "As long as I don't act like a fucking nut"
implying that I've been acting like a fucking nut.
Take a pill, all right. I just meant be cool.
Yeah, you meant that, but you meant the other, too.
This is not the time, Richie.
Hey, fuck those spic pigs, man! You called me a "fucking nut."
Now, where I come from, that stops the train in its tracks.
Keep your fucking voice down.
Or what?
- What was that? - Hmm?
Oh! That was just... Just my daughter in the bathroom.
I thought you said it was just you and your son?
Um, I meant me and my son and my daughter.
Open up. I'm comin' aboard.
What was the nuttiest thing I did, Seth? I'm curious. Tell me. What was it?
- This is not the time, Richie. - I know.
Was it possibly when your ass was rotting in jail and I broke it out?
Is that the nuttiest thing?
That was nutty, huh? Not to mention stupid.
Thanks.
I'm in the bathroom.
Open up. It's Border Patrol.
It's open.
Do you mind? Shut the fuckin' door, please!
Excuse me.
Goddamn, that was intense!
Oh, baby, we did it. We're in Mexico.
We're fuckin' in Mexico, you little piece of fuckin' shit!
Come on! Kate, get out here.
All right, listen up. Everybody, listen.
Now I know that I put you all through hell,
and I know that I have been one rough pecker.
But from here on out, you guys are all in my cool book.
Scotty, I want you to help me with Richie. We'll lay him down on the couch over there.
Jacob, you're gonna keep driving down this street
until you come to another street called De Gallo.
When you get to De Gallo, you're gonna turn this big bastard left,
and you're gonna go down a couple of miles until you see a bar called the Titty Twister.
From what I understand, you cannot miss it.
Then?
And then you stop because that's where we're going.
Don't make a career out of this, okay?
Come on, hey.
Hey, you okay?
Yeah, I think so. What happened?
I don't know. You just passed out.
I did?
Mmm-hmm. You said something about your hand hurtin'
and then you just hit the ground like a sack of potatoes.
Really?
Head hit the toilet. You scared the shit out of me.
You sure you're okay?
Yeah. I think so. I'm just a little fucked up.
Well, let me tell you something that's gonna clear your head right up.
What?
We are officially Mexicans.
We're in Mexico, buddy.
- We are? - Yeah.
We're heading down to the rendezvous right now.
We're gonna pound booze, wait for Carlos.
When he gets there, he's gonna take us down to El Rey.
And then you and I, my brother, we're gonna kick fuckin' back.
- How do you like them apples? - Far out.
Where's my glasses?
Oh, uh... Yeah, they broke when you fell.
Fuck, Seth, these are like my only pair!
Don't worry about it. We'll get you another pair.
Of course I'm gonna worry about it. I can't fuckin' see!
I'll take care of it when we get to El Rey.
Yeah, like some Mexican hole in the wall is gonna have my prescription.
It's not a big deal until you make it a big deal.
Richie, now, I was in a very good mood.
So stop bringing me down with this bullshit!
I can't wear this shit.
Hey, guys. We're here.
Pussy!
All right, pussy, pussy, pussy!
Come on in, pussy lovers.
Here at the Titty Twister, we're slashin' pussy in half.
Give us an offer on our best selection of pussy. This is a pussy blowout!
All right, we got white pussy, black pussy, Spanish pussy, yellow pussy.
We got hot pussy, cold pussy.
We got wet pussy. We got smelly pussy.
We got hairy pussy, bloody pussy. We got snappin' pussy.
We got silk pussy, velvet pussy, naugahyde pussy.
We even got horse pussy, dog pussy, chicken pussy.
Come on, you want pussy. Come on in, pussy lovers.
If we don't got it, you don't want it. Come on in, pussy lovers.
Okay, troops, it's the homestretch. Here's the deal.
This place closes at dawn. Carlos is gonna meet us here sometime before dawn.
Now, we are gonna go in there, we're gonna take a seat,
we're gonna have a drink, we're gonna have a bunch of drinks.
And we're gonna wait for Carlos.
Let me just say something. I'm very happy about where we're at.
We got a real nice "I don't fuck with you, you don't fuck with me" attitude goin' on.
So if everybody just keeps playin' it cool, I'm talkin' to you, too, Richie,
then everybody's gonna get what they want.
Okay, hard drinkers, let's drink hard. I'm buyin'. Come on.
Here we go.
Out of the stew pot and into the fire.
Attention, pussy shoppers! Take advantage of our penny pussy sale.
If you buy one piece of pussy at the regular price,
you will get another piece of pussy of equal or lesser value for only a penny.
Try and beat pussy for a penny.
If you can find cheaper pussy anywhere, fuck it!
Hey, what do we have approaching here? A new flavor, apple pie pussy.
Hey, not so fast, slick.
Step aside, asshole.
Son of a...
Now, is my shit together or is my shit together?
Here we go.
Hi! How ya doin'? Enjoying it? I hope so!
Now, this is my kind of place.
I could become a regular.
Whiskey!
- You can't come in here. - What do you mean?
It's a private bar. You're not welcome.
Are you tellin' me that I'm not good enough to drink here?
This bar is for bikers and truckers only.
You, get out!
- Take your hand off of me. - I'm gonna count to three.
No, I'm gonna count to three.
- One... - Two...
Now, wait a minute. There is no reason to get ugly.
There is just a misunderstanding going on here.
You said this bar is for truckers and bikers?
Well, I'm a truck driver.
If you look outside your door in your parking lot,
you'll see a big recreational vehicle.
That's mine.
In order to drive that legally, you need a class two driver's license.
This bar is for truck drivers?
I am a truck driver.
These are my friends.
Welcome to the Titty Twister.
- Bottle of whiskey and five glasses. - Coming right up.
- You serve food here, José? - Best in Mexico.
I kind of doubt that.
We're gonna go over here. You send a waitress over to take our order. Okay?
Mary had a little lamb
His fleece was black as coal, yeah
Anytime you want a lap dance with that girl, kid, just let me know, all right?
It's on me.
Pass.
Is it against your religion?
No. I do drink. I'm just not drinkin' now.
Fair enough. More for me.
- Scott, how 'bout you? - No.
- Kate, how 'bout you? - No, I can't. I'm not 21 yet.
That means yes.
Post time, Kate!
Here we go. You slam it down.
You knock the glass down on the table, all right?
One, two, three!
Attagirl, Kate.
Scotty, are you ready? Here we go. You ready for one?
Okay.
- No, he won't. - Yes, he will.
Yes, he will, because I'm not drinking by myself.
Kate, round two. You ready? Here we go.
Yes, I'll have another one. Thank you.
On three. One, two, three.
Why are you so agitated?
I'm still stewing about that ape laying his hand on me.
What are you gonna do?
I'm gonna sit here and I'm gonna finish with this bottle.
And when I'm finished,
I'm gonna take this bottle and I'm gonna bust it
over his melon fucking head!
Before we stepped in here, you told all of us to be cool.
So, that means you, too.
I never said do what I do. I said do what I say.
On my way I passed it
Express yourself
Are you such a fucking loser, you can't tell when you've won?
- What'd you call me? - Nothing.
I didn't make a statement. I asked a question.
- Would you like me to ask it again? - Mmm-hmm.
Are you such a loser, you can't tell when you've won?
The entire state of Texas, along with the FBI,
are looking for you.
Did they find you?
No, they couldn't.
You've won, Seth.
Enjoy it.
Jacob,
I want you to have a drink with me. I insist.
To your family.
To yours.
And now, for your viewing pleasure,
the mistress of the macabre,
the epitome of evil,
the most sinister woman to ever dance on the face of this Earth.
Bite this! - Lowly dog!
Bow your head, kneel and worship
at the feet of Santanico Pandemonium.
Watching her
Strolling in the night
So right
Wondering why
It's only after dark
In her eyes
The distant firelight
Burns bright
Wondering why
It's only after dark
Find myself in her room
Feel the fever of my doom
Falling for her through the floor
I'm knocking on the devil's door
Yeah
Burning, burning in the flame
Now that I know her secret name
You can tear her temple down
But she'll be back and rule again
Yeah
That's what I call a fucking show!
Wow!
Come here!
That guy! It's the puta over there!
Richie, get back on the clock.
- How many? - Three.
Which one?
This piece of shit here, man. Broke my finger and my nose!
And this faggot kicked me in the ribs while I was down.
- Up! - Fuck you, bogeyman!
Fuck!
Fuck you!
All right, everybody be cool, or you'll be just as dead as these fucks!
How's your hand? Let me see it.
Shit.
You think that was funny?
Sit down!
Richie, look out!
Motherfucking shit! Get the fuck off me!
- Hey! Hey! - Get her off me!
What the fuck are you doing? Shoot her!
I'm coming, buddy!
- Richie. Rich. - You bitch.
Richie.
Fucking bitch!
Richie.
Hey.
What the fuck?
Dinner is served.
What the fuck?
Get off me!
Come on! Come on, you!
Jacob!
Oh, no! Look out! Look out!
You know what everybody says about me, huh?
I suck!
Get off me! What the fuck are you doing?
Let's see if you taste as good as your brother.
Fuck you!
Hey! Hey!
Oh, shit!
Huh?
Gimme that!
I'm not gonna drain you completely.
You'll be my slave.
Because I don't think you're worthy of human blood,
you'll feed on the blood of stray dogs.
You'll be my foot stool.
And at my command, you'll lick the dog shit from my boot heel.
Since you'll be my dog,
your new name will be Spot.
Welcome to slavery.
No, thanks. I already had a wife.
We might be in trouble.
Yo, monkey man.
Anything you got to say to them,
say to me first.
This!
That's enough.
Ain't they supposed to burn up or something?
Oh, fuck.
Now let's kill that fucking band!
I can do that.
Fuck you, everybody. Good night!
Fuckers.
Hey, buddy.
I'm sorry I fucked things up, Richie.
You would've liked it in El Rey. You would've...
You would've found peace.
I love you, buddy.
I love you too, Seth.
You touch my brother with that stake, biker,
and vampires aren't gonna have to suck your blood.
They'll be able to lick it up off the floor.
He's not your brother anymore.
That's a matter of opinion and I don't give a fuck about yours.
Don't be a fool! He'll kill us all.
- Shut up! - Shut up!
Let's go. Move, move.
Hold him down.
Richie.
Here is the peace in death, that I could not give you in life.
Fuck!
Seth, are you okay?
I'm peachy, Kate. The worid is my oyster.
Except for the fact that I just...
I just rammed a wooden stake into my brother's chest,
because he turned into a vampire.
Even though I don't believe in vampires.
Aside from that unfortunate business,
everything is hunky-dory.
- I'm really, really sorry. - Bullshit! Bullshit!
If it were up to you, if you had half a chance,
you would feed us to those fucks.
Then why didn't I?
I'm sorry you lost your brother. I'm sorry he's dead.
I'm sorry everybody's dead.
But if we're gonna get out of this, we need you clean and sober and thinking.
Not drunk.
What is that?
Don't know. First I thought it was just birds.
Bats.
Gimme a hand.
No!
Hey!
I'm sorry.
Come on!
We'll take care of this mess, you go stake the rest of those ugly fucks.
Way ahead of you.
- Watch your step. What's your name, girlie? - Kate. What's yours?
- Sex Machine. Pleased to meet you, Kate. - You, too.
- Is everybody okay? - Yeah. I'm okay.
Does anybody know what's going on here?
I know what's going on.
We've got a bunch of fucking vampires out there,
trying to get in here and suck our fucking blood,
and that's it, plain and simple.
And I don't wanna hear anything about "I don't believe in vampires."
Because I don't fucking believe in vampires, but I believe in my own two eyes,
and what I saw is fucking vampires.
Now, do we all agree that what we are dealing with is vampires?
Yes. - You, too, preacher?
I don't believe in vampires, but I believe in what I saw.
Good for you. All right, now that we all agree that we're dealing with vampires,
what do we know about vampires?
Crosses hurt vampires. Do we have a cross?
In the motor home.
In other words, no.
Wait a second. I mean, just look around. We got crosses all over the place.
All you gotta do is put two sticks together and you got a cross.
Yeah, he's right. Peter Cushing does that all the time.
Okay, I'll buy that. So, we got crosses covered. What else?
Wooden stakes in the heart have been working pretty good so far.
And garlic, sunlight, holy water. I'm not sure.
Doesn't silver have something to do with vampires?
That's werewolves.
I know silver bullets are werewolves.
But I'm sure silver has something to do with vampires.
Well, does anybody have any silver?
Okay. Then, who cares?
Has anybody here read a real book about vampires,
or are we just remembering what some movie said?
I mean, a real book. - You mean like a Time-Life book?
I take it the answer's no. Okay, then.
What do we know about these vampires?
We know they got superhuman strength, but we can hurt them.
- Yeah. Another thing, though is
if you're gonna drive a chair leg through a human,
you better be one strong son of a bitch.
I mean, the human body is one rough, tough machine.
But these vamps, these vamps, they have soft bodies.
The texture of their skin is soft and they're mushier.
You can push shit right through them.
Conceivably, if you hit one hard enough, take their head right off.
Actually, our best weapon against these satanic cocksuckers,
is this man.
He's a preacher.
As far as God's concerned, we might as well all be a piece of shit,
but he's one of the boys.
Only one problem, his faith isn't what it used to be.
I've had enough of your taunts.
I'm not taunting you, Jacob. We need you.
A faithless preacher doesn't mean shit to us.
A servant of God can take a cross and shove it up these monsters' asses.
A servant of God can bless the tap water and make it a weapon.
Jacob,
I know why you lost your faith.
How could holiness exist if your wife can be taken away from you and your children?
Now, I've always said that God can kiss my ass.
But I just changed my lifetime tune about 30 minutes ago.
'Cause I know that whatever is out there trying to get in,
is pure evil, straight from hell.
And if there is a hell, and those sons of bitches are from it,
then there has got to be a heaven, Jacob. There's gotta be!
So, which are you?
Are you a faithless preacher,
or are you a mean motherfucking servant of God?
I'm a mean
servant of God.
I don't know if I can take much more of that noise.
Sure you can.
You can take it because you got no choice.
How'd you like to spend 24 hours of it lying in some muddy ditch,
with nothing but the rotten corpses of your friends to keep you company?
What are you talking about?
I was in 'Nam.
Back in '72.
I was trapped behind enemy lines,
with my entire squad dead.
They thought they had killed everyone.
Except for me, they was right.
But it wasn't for their lack of trying.
A grenade,
blew up right beside me.
That's why I'm so pretty.
And they start pushing all them bodies in on top of me.
And all I could do, was lay there.
Play possum.
Listen to the enemy joke, laugh,
hour after hour after hour.
Sex Machine.
Kill them.
So I finally climbed out of this hole
and I sneaked up on the enemy while he was sleeping.
And I killed one, two, three, four, five...
When I came to my senses,
I realized I had killed an entire VC squad.
Single-handed.
There was blood
and chunks of yellow flesh, clinging to my bayonet.
To this day, I don't remember...
Get him off of me! Get off of me!
Please! Get him off!
No!
Dad!
He fucking bit me. He fucking bit me.
What are you gonna do about it?
Come on, Sex Machine.
Oh, shit!
Get up! Get up! Up! Come on!
Go! Fuck!
Wait, we have to go back for my father.
Your dad's dead, Kate.
He is the light.
The people who walk
in the darkness
have seen the light!
Open the door!
Go! Go!
Oh, Daddy!
Jacob, are you bit?
Yeah.
Motherfuck. Motherfucking vampires!
I'm gonna kill every last one of you godless, fucking pieces of shit!
You bet you are and I'm gonna help you do it.
But we ain't got much time.
- You're gonna be okay, aren't you? - No, I'm not.
I've been bit. In fact, I'm already dead.
Now...
I'd say in the next 20 or 30 minutes, our friends outside will bust in this door
and I'll probably turn into a vampire within the hour.
Now, you have two choices.
You can wait for me to turn, then deal with me.
Or we can kick open that door,
and the four of us can go at 'em, hit 'em with everything we have.
But if we're gonna go at 'em, we gotta go at 'em now.
What's this stuff?
My guess is this little dive
has been feeding on bikers and truckers for a long time.
This is probably the shipments they stole off the trucks.
I say, let's tear this place apart for weapons.
So when they burst through that door, we'll make 'em wish they never did.
I don't care about living or dying anymore.
I just wanna send as many of these devils back to hell, as I can.
Amen.
Loving God, bless this water
and give us your protection and strength in this, our darkest hour. Amen.
Before we go any further, I need you three to promise me something.
I'll fight with you till the bitter end, but when I turn into one of them,
I won't be Jacob anymore.
I'll be a lapdog of Satan.
I want you three to promise you'll take me down, no different from the rest.
I promise, Jacob.
Kate? Scott?
I promise.
- Scott? - Yeah, I promise.
Why don't I believe you?
I'm gonna ask you two again.
Then I want you to swear to God,
that you'll kill me!
If you don't, I'm gonna just kill myself right now.
Now, since you need me, I think you better swear!
Kate, do you swear to God that when I become one of the undead,
you'll kill me?
Kate!
We don't have much time, so I'm only giving you to the count of five.
One, two, three, four...
Okay, all right! I promise I'll do it!
Good girl. Now, Scott,
we have even less time, so I'm giving you the count of three.
- One... - No, you don't believe in suicide.
It's not suicide, if you're already dead. Two.
Okay! Okay.
I'll kill you when you change. I swear to God, in Jesus Christ's name.
Thank you, Son.
Okay, vampire killers, let's kill some fucking vampires.
Those who walk in the darkness have seen the light.
In the darkness have seen the light.
In the darkness, the light.
Those who walk in the darkness have seen the light.
Kill 'em all!
Come on! Come on!
Dad?
Dad! No, Dad!
Dad! Dad!
I swear to God, in Jesus Christ's name.
Oh, my God!
Fight now, cry later!
Get the fuck off! Get off! Get off! Get 'em off!
Kill me, Kate.
Just kill me, Kate.
I can't.
- How many bullets you have? - I don't know. Not many.
When you run out, start cold-cocking 'em. Make 'em sing for their supper.
Seth, should I save the last bullets for us?
No. Use it on the next fuck that tries to bite you.
Shoot more holes. Shoot more holes!
- Perfect. - They can't go into the light.
Perfect. All right, go.
Hey, Seth, don't leave me.
Come here. Come here. Come on!
Come on, you!
Come here, you fucks!
Hello? I'm looking for my friend Seth.
Carlos! Kick in the door!
Go!
Son of a bitch.
What the fuck was goin' on in there?
What's the matter with you? Are you crazy?
Why, out of all the godforsaken shit holes in Mexico do we have to meet here?
One place is just as good as another.
You ever been here before?
No. I drove by it a couple times.
It's a rowdy place. It's out in the middle of nowhere.
There'll be no cops. And it's open from dusk till dawn.
Didn't you say you wanted to meet in the morning? Here we are.
Well, since you just picked this place out of a hat, my brother is dead,
that girl's entire fucking family is dead!
What were they? Psychos?
They look like psychos? Is that what they looked like?
They were vampires.
Psychos do not explode when sunlight hits them.
I don't give a fuck how crazy they are!
Seth, how can I make it up to you?
You can't make it up to me, Carlos. You can't do it.
Can't make it up!
15% instead of 30% for my stay in El Rey, that's a good start.
Twenty-eight.
My brother's gone. You understand that?
He's gone and he's not coming back and that is your fault.
Twenty.
- Twenty-five. - Twenty-five.
Kate. Go to the RV, get the suitcase.
You look like hell.
You want a cold beer? I got some in the car.
Come on, they're cold. Huh?
I got Mexican and domestic.
So, how do you like the car? It's all right.
I said "like new." This is a '90.
Hey, it is new, cabrón. Belonged to a drug dealer friend of mine.
Hey, he only drove it, like, 14 times in five years.
It's like new, I swear to God.
- So, what do I do, follow you? - Yeah, follow me.
All right, let's do it.
I'm sorry.
Yeah, I'm sorry, too.
- I'll see ya. - Seth?
You need some company?
Kate, do you know where I'm going? Do you know what El Rey is?
- No. Hey, Seth.
It's time to go.
Go home, Kate.
I may be a bastard, but I'm not a fucking bastard.
Hot air hangs like a dead man
From a white oak tree
People sittin' on porches
Thinking how things used to be
Dark night
It's a dark night
Dark night
It's a dark night
Everything about her was natural
Everything about her was cool
But I'm a little partial for beautiful giris
Even if their bloods run blue
I think I see her
I think I want her
I think I love her
She's just killing me
I think she's killing me
Her castanets are enormous
Her bongo beat absolute
And when she doin' midnight performances
She's got a secret something to boot
I think I see her
I think I want her
Oh, I think I love her
But she's just killing me, killing me
I think she's killing me
Oooh
Miss Santanico Pandemonium
Don't get any lower or slower
What you see is what you get conmigo
And the bonus of an albino boa
I think I see her
I think I want her
Yes, I think I love her
She's just killing me, killing me
She's just killing me That's some time I had
Oh, I think I see her
I know I love her
Yes, I might love her
She's just killing me
She wanna be killing me
Suck my blood
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