好了 Okay.
同学们 看这里 我们要开始了 Everybody eyes up here. It's time to get started.
这个早上我在想 So I was thinking this morning.
我在想 在你们这么大的年纪的时候 我都在想些什么 I was thinking about what it was like being your age
那时候我会像完成任务一样来参加礼拜 how I'd come to worship like I was ticking off a to-do list.
那时候我并不明白为什么要这么做 I didn't get it like I do now
然后我就在想 那么 我应该告诉你们一个秘密 and I thought "Well maybe I should tell you guys a secret."
你们知道 作为成年人 Do you know what we're trying to do every Sunday
我们每个礼拜日在教会都做些什么吗 in church as adults?
我们试图挽回 自己在你们这个年龄 所做的事情 We're trying to undo the things we did when we were your age.
想想吧 你们就是我们的未来 Think about it. You're our future
你们现在的年华 and you are at an age
正使你们十分轻易被魔鬼蛊惑 where you are especially vulnerable to evil.
我说 魔鬼 是真正的 魔鬼 Now when I say "Evil" I mean evil.
而你们现在还看不见它 And you won't see it now.
你们明天也看不见 You won't see it tomorrow.
你们觉得有趣的事物 其实正是我们的宿敌 But what feels like fun is actually the enemy
而这个宿敌正悄悄收紧你们颈上的套索 and that enemy is closing the noose around your neck.
Bruce 有人在家吗 Bruce?! Is anyone home?!
当你在捣鼓那个套索的时候 While you experiment and play with that yoke
你会想 我只不过把它当成个玩具 like it's a toy and you think
哦 我只玩这一次 只... "Oh just this once just...
就多玩一小会 just a little longer" click.
它就抓到你了 It's got you.
Anyone 又是谁
Anyone 又有谁
好了 等一下 亲 亲爱的 亲爱的 Okay. Wait. H-Honey. Honey.
You can blame 你可以责怪我
你好了吗 Can you stop it?
Try to shame me 可以试图羞辱我
And still I'll care 但我仍然在意你
For you 总是为你担心
他们来了 They're here.
You can run around 你可以不停来来回回
看镜头 Eyes to camera.
Even put me down 把我打倒
小伙子们 Boys...
把你们的胳膊环住女孩儿们的腰 put your arms around the girls' waists.
Still I'll be there for you 即便如此 我还是会在这里等你
呃 要不然我上一阶去 好 Yeah or should I go up? Okay.
The world 这世界啊
May be gone foolish 也许早变得愚蠢荒唐
They can't see you 他们看不见你
Like I can 而你在我眼里
你看上去真的好美 好美啊 You look really really beautiful.
Oh but anyone 哦 但是又有谁
谢谢 Thanks.
Who knows what love is 懂得爱情的意义
Will understand 会明白了解
Anyone 又有谁
- Anyone - I just feel so sorry -又有谁 -我觉得好可惜
- Anyone - For the ones -又有谁 -那些人们
Who pity me 那些怜悯我的人们
- Anyone - 'Cause they just don't know -又有谁 -他们不明白
- Anyone - Oh they don't know -又有谁 -哦 他们就是不明白
What happiness and love can be 幸福与爱究竟是什么
- Ohhh - I know -哦 -我明白
I know to ever let you go 我知道永远不会放开你的手
Oh-oh is more 哦哦 还有更多
Than I could ever stand 太多要我承受
Ohhh but anyone 哦 但是又有谁
Who knows what love is 有谁懂得爱的意义
Will understand 会明白
Ohhh 哦
- Anyone - They will understand -又有谁 -他们终会明白
Anyone 又有谁
If they try love 如果他们尝试去爱
- Anyone - They'll understand -又有谁 -他们就会明白
Anyone 又有谁
Ohhh try 哦 试试吧
- Anyone - And understand -又有谁 -去明白
我想试一试 I want to try something.
哦 我的天 哦 我的天 Oh my God. Oh my God.
哦 我的老天 Oh my God.
Cameron 什么玩意 Cameron what the fuck?
Jamie.
什么鬼 What the fuck?
我他妈真不敢相信 I can't fucking believe this.
对不起 I'm sorry.
这他妈的也太乱了吧 It's just so messed up!
我30多岁以前 And by the time I was in my 30s
我压根就不相信上帝 I didn't believe in God at all.
你知道吗 George 一直到... You know what George? It wasn't until...
我们引用的经文 The Scripture we're referencing
是马太福音 10:11 is Matthew 10:11
如果你翻到马太福音 10:11 and if you go to Matthew 10:11
你大概能够明白我们的内容 you'll probably know this one.
无论哪个小镇或者乡间别墅 Uh whatever town or villa...
嘿 Hey.
你好 Hello.
我找Rick牧师 I'm looking for Reverend Rick.
他还在布道 我带你去找他 He's still in a sermon. I'll take you to him.
-我叫Cameron -我知道 - I'm Cameron. - I know.
Want to see the land so pure and true 想看到这片土地如此纯净真实
No there's nothing I wouldn't do 我们无所不能
Just to be born anew 只为了重生
In Your eyes my savior 沉迷在你眼中 我的神
In Your heart my savior 陶醉在你心上 我的神
In Your love my savior 沉浸在你的爱里 我的神
My Lord 我的上帝啊
好了 伙伴们 时间到了 晚餐见 All right guys. Time's up. See you at dinner.
Erin是维京队的粉丝 是吗 Erin's a big Vikings fan aren't you?
被你发现了 Guilty as charged.
不过别担心 你很快也能装饰自己的小空间了 But don't worry. You'll get decorating privileges soon.
在神的应许之地 你需要通过努力获取某些权利 You have to earn certain rights at God's Promise.
没听上去那么糟糕 只需要帮忙装饰屋子和寄信 I swear it's not that bad... just decorating and mail.
大多数门徒会在几个星期后到 Most disciples get there in a few weeks.
合同里都有写 It's all spelled out in the contract.
也许在这段时间里 你也会成为维京队的粉丝 Maybe in the meantime you'll become a Vikings fan.
-你最喜欢哪只球队 -我 我没有喜欢的 - Who's your favorite team? - I-I don't have one.
真让人吃惊 I'm impressed.
太难得了我没办法找到.. It's pretty rare that I don't manage to...
噢 话说得太早了 Oh spoke too soon.
我猜The Breeders不会唱赞美上帝的歌吧 I'm guessing The Breeders aren't singing in praise of the Lord.
你从哪儿弄来的 Where did you get this?
哥伦比亚家里哥伦比亚唱片俱乐部.
检查完了 I'm done here.
要看看合同吗 Take a look at the contract?
好的 Yeah.
你只消再签一个字 我们就可以走了 All that's left is your signature and we're good to go.
我相信你在这儿会过得很不错的 Cammie I think you're going to do really well here Cammie.
太好了 现在你正式成为神的应许之地的门徒了 Perfect. Now you're officially a disciple of God's Promise.
欢迎你 Welcome.
呜 Whoo!
操 Fuck.
我要你穿上衣服 然后离开 I want you to put on your clothes and leave.
-不 你不想 -是的 我想要你离开 - No you don't. - Yes I do.
不 你不想 No you don't.
这部电影好奇怪 This movie's weird.
我要你离开 I want you to leave.
你知道接下来会发生什么吧 You knew that was going to happen.
不 我不知道 No I didn't.
我不知道该怎么办 I wouldn't know what to do.
你可以先在门上 You can start by putting
挂上请勿打扰的牌子 the do-not-disturb sign on the door.
我真的不知道接下来会发生什么 I really didn't know it was going to happen.
你知道的 Yes you did.
-我真的不知道 -不 你知道的 - No I didn't. - Yes you did.
进展得可真顺利 That part went smoothly.
我没有 I'm not...
脱掉我的浴袍 taking off my robe.
每个人这哪儿都有一条线 Well everybody draws the line somewhere.
我通常不会 I don't usually...
有这种感觉 我好迷茫 ...feel this way. It's blocking me.
我不知道我是否曾经有过 I don't know if I've ever felt...
这样的感觉 this way before.
想停下来的时候告诉我 Tell me when to stop.
你的首要任务 是想让自己变得更好 I think if your top priority is to get better
其实在这里的其他人 that should also be true of the people
也是这么想的 you surround yourself with you know?
你真的觉得自己 有变得... 更好吗 And you think you're getting... better?
当然 Of course.
我和上帝离得更近了 I've been brought closer to God
能感受到他对我的指引 and I can feel Him guiding me.
就像 Helen是个很不错的朋友 Like Helen's a really good friend
我们彼此都能给予正能量 and we're positive influences on each other.
就是那个坐在牛奶旁边的女孩儿 That's her by the milk.
-挺难以启齿的 她太 -嗨 - It's a shame she's so... - Hi!
嗯 她有点儿女汉子 不是吗 Well she's kind of butch isn't she?
我知道这个词很刻薄 但我是认真的 I know that's a mean word but I mean it like
事实上 没有要刻薄的意思 factually like not in a mean way.
那个女孩儿叫Jane Fonda That girl's name is Jane Fonda...
人如其名 like her actual name.
要么就是她在撒谎 Either that or she's lying.
她很可能在撒谎 She could be lying.
Mark真的很酷 Mark is really cool.
现在别看 他在我的12点方向 Don't look now but he's at my 12:00.
你还是看了 You looked.
他唱歌真的很好听 He has a really nice singing voice
好吧 你得保证不告诉任何人 and okay you have to promise not to tell anyone
我真的很喜欢他 but I have a really big crush on him.
我的嘴很严的 My lips are sealed.
Rick真的很能激励人 Rick is such an inspiration.
你能想到 他以前也为同性吸引的问题所困扰吗 Do you know he used to struggle with same-sex attractions?
是吗 Really?
是啊 不过他已经“痊愈”很多年了 Yeah and he's been in recovery for years
他现在和Bethany是男女朋友关系 and now he and Bethany are girlfriend and boyfriend.
是呀 他们这对多可爱啊 Yeah. How cute is that?
我觉得他们还可以再努力一点 I think they could both do better.
当然 等等 你说什么 Totally. Wait. What?
亲爱的 你在学校上几年级 Honey what grade were you starting at school?
呃 11级 Um 11th.
噢 好的 我想我们有这本 Oh great. I think we have that one.
好的 Okay.
呃…啊 Uh... ah.
给你 Here we go.
这本书是对的吧 Does this look right to you?
是的 Yes.
不好意思打扰一下 I apologize for the interruption
Kimballs-Ericson女士 Ms. Kimballs-Ericson.
我来看看我们的新成员 I've come to meet our new disciple.
欢迎你 Cameron 我是Lydia Marsh医生 Welcome Cameron. I'm Dr. Lydia Marsh.
我是你们和上帝之间的向导 I'm the director of God's Promise.
嗨 Hi.
很高兴认识你 It's a pleasure to meet you.
我知道 改变 一开始会很难 I know the adjustment can be difficult at first
但是我很有信心 你能在这里找到自我 然后回家去 but I have every faith you'll find yourself at home here soon.
如果你需要任何帮助 In the meantime please don't hesitate to ask
都可以直接来问我 if you need anything.
谢谢 Thank you.
你可以把这里当作自己的家 Cameron You should consider yourself amongst family Cameron.
你可以叫我“Cam” You can call me "Cam."
“Cameron”已经是个很男孩子气的名字了 "Cameron" is already a masculine name.
如果简化一下就更没有女人味了 To abbreviate as something even less feminine
这样只会加深你的性别困惑 only exacerbates your gender confusion.
你说得对 Right.
很高兴我们能达成共识 Glad we're on the same page.
我告诉过你 I have told you
不要让头发 to keep your hair
挡住你的眼睛 out of your eyes.
对上帝没有什么好隐瞒的 There's no hiding from God.
你觉得对船上的人来说 冰山的一角 Would you say that the tip of the iceberg looks scary
会不会看起来很可怕 to the people on the boat?
会 Yeah.
船上所有人的注意力都放在冰山的一角上 It's all the people on the ship want to focus on
但我们知道这并不是问题的根本所在 对吗 but we know it's not the real problem is it?
是的 No.
你对同性的吸引 也是同理 Um the same can be said for your same-sex attraction.
由于这罪孽如此深重 The sin is so overwhelming
我们都把关注点放在上面 that we become fixated on it
但我们真正应该去处理的问题 but the problems we really need to deal with
是表面之下的 are below the surface.
你的性取向背后肯定隐藏着一个更大的问题 Your attractions are a symptom of a larger problem.
我们将会像侦探一样 一起去调查 We're going to spend our time together like detectives
你之前是经历了什么才会变成这样 investigating what in your past led you here
尤其是你和父母的关系 especially your relationship with your parents.
什么关系 What relationship?
他们很久之前就去世了 They died a long time ago.
我们是不是一下子抛给你太多东西了 I know we're throwing a lot at you.
你感觉还好吗 How are you feeling?
很好 很好 我很好 我… Good. Good. I'm good. I-I...
我只是从没想过同性恋是这样的 I've just never thought of homosexuality like this.
根本就不存在同性恋这一说 There's no such thing as homosexuality.
它只是一种 我们需要共同面对的罪孽 There's only the same struggle with sin we all face.
你会让瘾君子们去游行为自己争取权利吗 Would you let drug addicts throw parades for themselves?
不 不 不会的 No. No you wouldn't.
罪孽就是罪孽 Sin is sin.
你只是在同性吸引的罪孽中挣扎 Your struggle is with the sin of same-sex attraction.
要去走出来的第一步 The first step is for you to stop thinking
就是不要把自己看作一个同性恋 of yourself as a homosexual.
但我并不认为自己是个同性恋 But I don't think of myself as a homosexual.
我并不觉得自己属于哪个群体 I mean I don't really think of myself as anything.
你应该铭记你是个基督徒 You should think of yourself as a Christian.
我们会在这儿 支持你的 We're here to support you.
Rick做了这些努力 已经能克服自己的病态心理 Rick did the work was able to overcome his own illness
我一点都不怀疑 你也能做到 and I have no doubt that you're capable of the same.
以前的我和你现在一样 I've been right where you are.
我知道你的感受 I know how you feel.
这是你妈妈吗 Is that your mom?
她真的长得很像你 She really looked like you.
冰山课怎么样 How's the iceberg coming?
很好 Good.
很好 就是做起来有点慢 Good just slow.
噢 真巧 Oh cool.
我也是因为运动 产生了性别困惑 I have gender confusion 'cause of sports too.
喔 Wow.
好吧 Cool.
稍后见 See you later.
关于足球 和爸爸有太多兄弟般的纽带 "Too much masculine bonding with Dad over football."
就在中场 Right up the middle!
-耶 -耶 - Yeah! - Yeah!
Jessica的美貌让她 "Jessica's beauty
觉得自己没有女人味 resulting in feelings of feminine inadequacy."
缺乏父子亲情 "Lack of physical affection from my father."
痴迷圣光夏令营的足球教练 "Infatuation with soccer coach at Holy Light Summer Camp."
在教会合唱团对Vicki Jones "Inappropriate obsession
有不正当的迷恋 with Vicki Jones from church choir."
This little light of mine 我的小小光芒
I'm gonna let it shine 我会让它闪耀
This 这
读9年级时被Orin Bursock打了臀部 "Unresolved sexual trauma from 9th grade
而留下的性创伤 when Orin Bursock slapped my backside."
跟妈妈一起参加了过多的女性化活动 "Too much bonding with Mom over feminine activities."
想要成为女人得的信仰与圣经之间的冲突 "Belief in winkte conflicting with the Bible."
Winkte是一个古老的拉科塔词 意思是想要‘像一个女人’
在社区里过早接触了非法毒品和酒精 "Early exposure to illegal drugs and alcohol at the commune."
缺乏稳定和单一的男性… "Lack of stable and singular masculine..."
你在干什么 What are you doing?
哦 呃 对不起 我只是在... Oh um I'm sorry. I was just...
什么 What?
我在看你的冰山图 I was looking at your iceberg.
每个人都写了 Everyone does it.
你的做完了吗 You done yours yet?
还 没呢 No not yet.
-你跑步吗 -跑的 - You run right? - Yeah.
他们就爱说什么积极的体育锻炼 Just talk about how positive reinforcements for sports
会如何影响你的性别认同 messed with your gender identity.
他们喜欢那种鬼话 They love that shit.
还有什么 你的父母是如何给你太多的爱抚 And how your parents gave you too much physical affection
或者太少亲昵的行为等等 or not enough physical affection.
不管怎样 这就是为啥你是gay Either way that's why you're gay.
我父母已经死了 My parents are dead.
把它写到你的冰山里 That should probably go in your iceberg.
你是在公共社区长大的吗 You grew up in a commune?
是的 Yeah.
我不知道嬉皮士是福音派的 I didn't know hippies were evangelical.
他们不是 我妈妈的新丈夫是 They're not. My mom's new husband is.
-最后一个问题 -我出过车祸 - One last question. - I was in a car accident.
其实我是想问你哪里弄来的大麻 I was actually going to ask you where you got your weed.
你说什么 I beg your pardon?
我看到你和Adam在地下室 I saw you and Adam in the cellar.
我自己种的 都是些杂草 I grow it myself. It's ditch weed.
我都已经收了 但是还剩了一些些 I already harvested but there are some stragglers
我和Adam星期四会去检查一下 Adam and I are going to check out Thursday.
你看上去不像是那种会来这种地方的人 You don't really seem like the kind of person that'd be here.
为什么 因为我像万人迷 Why? 'Cause I'm such a dick magnet?
不 只是 No just...
我没有选择 I didn't have a choice.
你有吗 Did you?
我不会祈求上帝来改变我 I will not pray for God to change me
因为上帝不会犯错 because God does not make mistakes
我是一个被罪恶诱惑了的人 and I am the one who is tempted by sin.
改变会通过上帝而到来 Change will come through God
-与我同在 -同在 - but within me. - Me.
我一定会改变 I must be the change.
我一直都知道我不应该 I've always known I didn't want to act
对同性间的吸引有所反应 on my same-sex attractions
以前我常常会"取悦"自己 so in the past I would resort to... self-pleasure.
后来我知道那也是罪孽 Then when I learned that that was a sin also
我就停止了 I stopped
我猜是不是我不再做了 but it's like... shouldn't it be okay
就不算造孽了呢 if it's instead of acting out?
什么 What?
你不会得到上帝的批准让你打飞机的 You can't get a pass from God to jerk off.
谁问你了 Who asked you?
Steve 你的感觉是什么 Steve what are you experiencing?
-我感到愤怒 -你为什么愤怒 - I'm experiencing irritation. - And why are you irritated?
好像他觉得他比所有人都好 It's like he thinks he's better than everybody else.
我也这么觉得 I feel that too.
看 看他的身体语言 Like look at his body language.
Steve要把他的阳刚之气投射到我身上了 Yeah Steve's projecting his masculine securities onto me
还有 Helen好像对任何事都有意见 and Helen has to have an opinion on everything.
才不是呢 That's not true.
-Dane的看法很有趣 -真的吗 - Dane brings up some interesting points. - Really?
好像因为他的过去 他就永远不会再犯错了一样 It's like he can't do anything wrong because of his past.
你在胡说八道些什么 You have no idea what you're talking about!
好了 Dane 告诉我们 Okay. Then Dane just tell us.
不 No.
你以后不要去告诉你的牧师 You don't go get to tell your reverend later
你是如何在治疗中遇到瘾君子的 about how you met a junkie in treatment.
我可不像你 我也很高兴我不像你 I'm not like you and I'm glad I'm not like you.
我根本不了解你 但我只看你一眼 I don't even know you but one look at you
我就知道你是拉拉 and I can tell you're a dyke.
Cameron 你现在觉得 神的应许之地怎么样 How are you finding God's Promise Cameron?
呃 挺不错的 Uh... good.
我希望你能借此机会 I hope you use this time as an opportunity to examine
测试自己如何应对不适情况 the way you respond to discomfort.
好 Okay.
Dane 你因为无人经历过你所受的苦 Dane this instinct of yours to punish others
而去惩罚其他人的这种本能 for not having experienced the kind of trauma you have
让你想起了谁 who does it remind you of?
我爸爸 My father.
我听不见 I can't hear you.
我爸 My father.
嘿 怎么样 Hey. How's it going?
还行 It's okay.
跟我来 Follow me.
这里对你有效果吗 So this worked for you then?
比如说 你有变化吗 Like you changed?
当然 我改变了 Yes. I changed.
怎么做到的 How?
这是一个过程 It was a process.
说来好笑 It's funny actually.
当事情开始好转的时候 我在一个酒吧里 The moment things began to turn around was in a bar.
酒吧 Bar?
是啊 而且还是个同志酒吧 Yeah. A gay bar of all places.
进来了两个我们教堂的男人 Two men from my church came in.
他们看到我停在外面的车 They saw my car parked outside
他们知道我一直很挣扎 and they knew I'd been struggling
所以他们进来找我 so they came in looking for me.
噢 Wow.
是上帝的旨意 Cameron It was God Cameron.
我寻求了他的帮助 I asked for His help
他也给予我这些盟友 来帮助我 and He gave it to me in the form of those allies.
我当时真的沮丧到了极点 I was so deeply unhappy
而且我也不觉得我值得被拯救 but I didn't think I was worth saving
不禁想知道 你有没有问过自己 and I wonder if you've asked that of yourself.
你值不值得被拯救 Are you worth saving?
It's gonna be fun to Blessercize with Jesus 欢乐无穷 强健体魄
To be fit for Him in every way 与上帝一起运动
He will bless my body soul and spirit... 耶稣圣光将泽被你身心
大家都知道 是上帝给了我们这副身体 You know it's God who created these bodies of ours
也是上帝保佑着它 and it's God who blesses them
有了他的帮助 and with His help
我们就可以让我们的身体健康的运作 we can keep these bodies working in optimum condition.
准备好了吗 Are you ready to start
你的快乐健身修行 即将开始 your "Fun to Be Fit" Blessercize program?
大家快来 Huh? Come on everybody!
一起来 All right!
大家都知道 我们的灵魂 You know for too long we have disassociated
已经和我们的身体分开太久了 our spiritual selves from our physical selves
只有当我决定 and it was only after the...
只有当我决定将我的身体交给上帝之后 only after I decided to give God my body
我才发现我的灵魂是如此健康 as well as my spirit and soul that I discovered health...
如此充满活力 I mean more energy
我从未有过这么充沛的激情 than I think I've ever known in my life!
就是这样 继续 Keep it going. Good!
其实我们还有另一种热身运动 You know there's another kind of warm-up that we do.
你直接走出家门就行了 Out you go and over.
实际上 我认为这才是最重要的热身运动 In fact I think it's the most important warm-up of all.
这是为了我们的灵魂 It's our spiritual warm-up.
毕竟这才是这整个活动的重点 After all that's what this whole program is all about.
让我们复习一下圣经经文 And up. Let's warm up with a Bible verse.
嗨 Jane Hey. Jane.
刚好赶上 Just in time.
这次远足会很累的 It's a really intense hike.
你的鞋子好像不合适 Your shoes don't look right for it.
Jane明明和我穿的一样的鞋子 Jane and I are wearing the exact same shoes.
不要太多心了 Don't be so paranoid.
我可以事先说一声的 A warning would be nice.
你想去远足的时候 他们就让你去吗 So they let you go on hikes whenever you want?
这个运动又不分性别 It's a gender-neutral sport.
那我们不能直接离开吗 I mean couldn't we just walk off?
去哪呢 And go where?
是逃去去时代广场 Yeah should we go directly to Times Square to turn tricks
还是你先跳一段霹雳舞呢 or would you rather try break-dancing first?
你觉得是在卡拉OK睡一晚 还是在街上睡更糟 What's worse... karaoke night or living on the streets?
太难抉择了 Tough call.
你们觉得Marsh医生怎么样 What do you guys think of Dr. Marsh?
她就好像是你自己故事里的反派 I guess it's like having your own Disney villain
只是这个你怎么也甩不掉 only this one won't let you jerk off.
我觉得她挺性感的 I find her kind of sexy.
和Lydia上床 就好像睡了电影嘉利里面那个老妈一样 Sex with Lydia would be like fucking the mom from "Carrie."
Cameron 你来说 性不性感 Cameron Lydia... hot or not?
呃 我不作评论 Ugh. No comment.
她到底来干什么的 What's her deal anyway?
我是说 我知道Rick为什么在这 Like I know why Rick is here
她为什么要在意这么多破事 but why does she give such a shit?
她以前又不是同性恋 是吗 She's not like ex-gay is she?
-呃 不是 -她是Rick的姐姐 - Ew no. - She's Rick's sister.
-真的吗 -真的 - Seriously? - Yeah.
她没对他出柜 She degayed him.
就好像之前 她只是定期的心理咨询师 Like before she was just a regular therapist
但之后他就变成了她的人形实验鼠一样 and then he became her human guinea pig.
哇 Wow.
我打赌 她圣诞礼物会送羊毛袜 I bet she gives like wool socks for Christmas.
简直没有比圣诞收到羊毛袜更沮丧的事 I'd be so down with wool socks for Christmas.
羊毛袜连我奶奶都不想收 My grandma would be down for wool socks for Christmas.
老年人和拉拉的审美总是惊人一致 Old-people tastes and lesbian tastes run parallel.
你们来这儿多久了 How long have you guys been here?
我去年秋天来的 Adam今年春季开学来的 I started last fall and Adam came spring semester.
你仍认为自己是同性恋吗 Do you still consider yourself like... gay?
别回答 Don't answer that.
你已经基本上了解我们了 但是我们一点儿都不了解你 You read our icebergs but we don't know shit about you.
你为什么来这儿 How'd you get here?
你是怎么被发现的 还是别人能感觉到你的同性相吸 Were you caught or could they just smell the SSA?
你不想回答的话就算了 You don't have to answer that if you don't want.
没事 It's okay.
什么是SSA啊 What's SSA?
同性吸引 Same-sex attraction.
比如说 Mark 你光看着他就能知道他是 Like with Mark you can just tell by looking at him.
我肯定Erin绝对是 I'm pretty sure Erin turned herself in
Helen有可能只是 and I think Helen probably thought
去了趟音乐野营 she was going to music camp.
我男朋友撞见我和一个女孩Coley... My boyfriend walked in on me and this girl Coley.
操 Shit.
他们把她带到哪儿去了 Where'd they send her?
不知道 Nowhere.
这也太操蛋了 It's fucked up.
这也不是她的错 It's not her fault.
你应该忘了她 You should forget about her.
为什么 Why?
谁说我没忘呢 I mean who's to say I haven't already?
这件事已经一团糟了 你的生活也由此停步 It's just messed up that your life had to stop
但她可没有 and hers didn't.
我们俩对这事的感受是一样的 What happened happened to both of us.
我相信你离开这儿之后 就一定能解决这个问题 I'm sure you'll work it out when you get out of here.
听起来有点讽刺 但其实 That sounded sarcastic but it's not.
这是我的心声 This is my genuine voice.
I keep changing but you're still the same 我不停改变 可你依然踌躇不前
Lydia说我们可以用娱乐室 Lydia says we can use the rec room
只要我们起得够早 if we wake up early enough.
行 Cool.
Tandy Campbell是个了不起的人 Tandy Campbell's a huge deal.
我觉得我阿姨Ruth会更了解她 I bet my aunt Ruth totally knows about her.
确实是 I'm sure.
快乐健身修行已经帮助了很多人 Blessercize has helped so many people
在上帝的指引下找到了真我 find their bodies through God
我也需要一个练习伙伴 真是太适合啦 and I need a workout buddy so it's a perfect fit.
听起来行得通 Sounds like a plan.
你得去排队 You should get in line.
你在偷东西吗 You're stealing?
这不算 如果我人离开店了 No. It's only stealing if I actually leave
才是偷好吗 我放回架子上了 the store with it okay? I put it back on the shelf.
不 这样不对 No. No way.
Erin 求你了 Erin please.
你的心里已经有罪孽了 这才是重点 You had the sin in your heart and that's what counts.
我放回货架了 I put it back on the shelf.
如果我无视你的罪孽 我就不是你的好朋友 I'm not being a good friend if I ignore your sin.
花背心不错啊 Nice vest.
好吧 我会告诉Rick的 Okay fine. I'll tell Rick.
这才对 It's the right choice.
-你们好啊 -你好 Mark - Hey guys. - Hi Mark.
-实际上 我看见发生什么了 -很抱歉 - So I saw what happened. - Yeah I know. I'm sorry okay?
-我放回架子上了 -是的 我知道 - I put it back on the shelf. - Yeah I-I know.
我同样觉得Erin有权利制止你 But I-I also think Erin was right to stop you.
-我明白 -谢谢你 - I know. - Thank you.
-那得需要很大的勇气 -是的 我懂 - That took a lot of courage. - Yeah I know.
但这件事我们三个人知道就行了对吗 But maybe we could keep this between us three?
-等一下 你说真的吗 -为什么啊 - Wait really? - Wh-Why?
我觉得你只是在一瞬间犯了个小错误 I think that you made a split-second mistake
并且你已经为此感到抱歉 and you're sorry.
这只是我的个人观点哈 That... That's just my opinion
那么 你怎么看 so you know what do you think?
我不知道 I don't know.
好吧 你得到教训了吗 Well you've learned your lesson?
是的 我为此非常羞愧 Yes. I'm... I'm so ashamed.
我只是想要 多关心你一点 I just want to look out for you
我希望你也能这么对我 the way I hope you'd look out for me.
好的 好的 你知道吗 我真的很感激你 Yeah. Yeah and you know how much I appreciate that?
谢谢你 Thank you.
Once upon a time 曾几何时
I was all alone 我总是独自一人
I was scared and I was idle 我暗怀恐惧 虚度年华
I couldn't ask for help when I needed You 需要你的时候 却不向你伸出双手
'Cause I was too full of pride 因为骄傲不让我低头
- Ahhhh - And if anyone asks -啊 -如果有人问
- Ahhhh - "Are you alone tonight?" - 啊 -你今晚独自一人吗
- Ahhhh - You've been there the whole time -啊 -你一直都在那里
Your footsteps right behind mine 你的脚步就在我身后
快看 Helen Check out Helen.
You've been there the whole time 你一直都在那里
Your footsteps right behind mine 你的脚步就在我身后
她会把内裤丢上舞台的 Her panties would be on that stage
如果她不怕上帝会发怒的话 if she wasn't so afraid of the wrath of God.
You've been there the whole time 你一直都在那里
我想用 我的声音为上帝服务 I want to use my voice in service of God
但如果我的心里有罪恶 我就不能这么做 and I can't do that if I'm living with sin in my heart
他们都发现了 and they could tell.
当然 他们都知道我在与SSA作斗争 Of course they could all tell that I was struggling with SSA
他们让我离开小组 and they asked me to leave the group
这是... and it was...
是啊 这是我生命中最糟糕的一天 Yeah it was the worst day of my life.
你呢 What about you?
我正和她玩得欢时 I was running with her faster.
-你听到了吗 -什么 - Did you hear that? - What?
Cam 我回来了 Cam I'm home!
嗯... Um...
...我真的想不起来所有细节了 ...I can't really think of anything.
别想太多 Don't overthink it.
同性吸引是什么时候 When did your same-sex attractions
开始阻碍你的目标的 get in the way of your goals?
我不知道 I don't know.
试着想想吧 Why can't you try?
我在努力尝试 I mean I am trying.
不 你没有 No you're not.
-什么 -有什么问题吗 - What? - Is there a problem?
我... 我很抱歉 我没有... I'm... I'm sorry. I don't...
这些对你来说 只是个笑话吗 I-Is this just a joke to you?
什么 我还什么都没有说 What? I-I didn't even say anything.
是啊 你什么都不说 Exactly. You never say anything
但你的沉默让人感觉有侵略性 感觉在无声地审判着我 and... and your silence feels aggressive and judgmental
让这个气氛 变得很不安全 and it makes the space not safe.
这是在鬼扯了吧 That's ridiculous.
好了 Helen从你的行为中察觉到敌意 Well Helen perceives hostility in your behavior.
你可以选择是否接受 You can agree or not
但是你必须承认 这是她的的确确的感受 but you must recognize that that is her truth.
好吧 你希望我说什么 Well I-I mean what do you want me to say?
任何事情 只要诚恳就行了 Anything. Just be honest.
告诉我们你在家认识的那个女孩 Tell us about that girl you knew from home.
好吧 嗯... Okay. Um...
她叫Coley her name was Coley.
我们一起上圣经课 We were in the same Bible study.
她是一个什么样的人 What was she like?
她很完美 She was perfect.
她不是一个只顾自己的人 But she wasn't full of herself.
你知道 她是那种 You know she was the type of person
那种 不管你是什么样的人 你会遇见他 that no matter who you were you'd meet her
然后你会... 你会想成为她的朋友 and you'd... you'd want to be her friend.
据说食人族只吃他们所倾慕的敌人 It's said that cannibals only eat the enemies they admire
以获取敌人的最大优点 as a way to take inside their best qualities.
好吧 Okay.
当你说话的时候 你体现出一种冲动 When you speak you reveal a compulsion
将自己深陷于 to take into yourself
你所仰慕的这个女孩的优点里 the qualities you admired in this girl.
我想和她一样 I wanted to be like her
但和她在一起的时候 我又感到迷惑 and I confused that with being with her?
是的 Correct.
我能体会 I guess that makes sense.
这就像 我原以为自己爱着Vicki Jones It's like I thought I was in love with Vicki Jones
但是... 我真正喜欢的 是她那些完美的优点 but... what I really loved was her perfect pitch.
我可能在这个学期结束 就能回家了 Looks like I'm going home at the end of this semester.
哦 很棒 Oh cool.
恭喜你 Congratulations.
我可以问你一个比较私人的问题吗 Can I ask you a personal question?
当然 可以 Uh-huh sure.
你信仰上帝吗 Do you believe in God?
嗯... Um...
...我想我不... 我不太清楚 ...I-I guess I don't... I don't really know.
没关系 Yeah. That's okay.
我想每次... I guess every time...
祈祷的时候... I pray...
我会感觉自己很虚伪 I kind of feel like I'm being phony.
我想每个人有时候都会有这种感觉 Yeah. I-I think everybody can feel like that sometimes
但我认为这都是 but I also think that those are moments
依靠你的信仰 是很重要的 where it's really important to lean back on your faith.
并且相信 它会带着你前行 and trust that that will take you forward.
我觉得我从来没有过信仰 I don't think I really have any faith.
或者至少我不 Or at least I don't...
知道怎么去相信... really know how to go about getting it...
甚至是否我真的需要... ...or if I really want it.
我明白 我不是要骗你什么 Look I get it. I'm not going to lie to you.
我也有觉得非常失落的时候 I can feel very lost.
但是我觉得 重要的是记得 But I find it important to remember...
要一步一步来 one foot in front of the other.
正强化: 导致我们以后进行该行为的可能性增加的结果
你这里写着 运动带来的正强化反馈 You write here that the positive reinforcement
给你带来了性别困惑 you receive for athleticism confused your gender identity.
具体说一下 Expand on that.
呃 Um...
我不知道 I don't know.
你把它放在你的冰山图里 肯定是有原因的吧 You must have had a reason to put it on your iceberg.
我经常被鼓励去 竞争 Well I was always encouraged to compete.
我是国家田径队的 You know I was all-state track and field
我所有家人都会来看 为我加油 so my entire family would come and watch cheer me on.
这就是你赢得爱的方式 That's how you earned their love?
不是 我没这么说 No. I wouldn't say that.
他们不是这样的 They weren't... like that.
他们是什么样的 What were they like?
他们挺好的 They were fine.
Cameron...
如果你的父母还活着 if your parents were still alive
你觉得他们会以你为傲吗 do you think they'd be proud of you?
呃 我不知道 Uh I don't know.
你姨母他们很担心你 Your aunt said they had concerns about you.
Cameron 你的进步就要靠 Cameron your progress is dependent
你付出的努力 on the effort you put in
以及我们的合作了 in our work together.
成功或失败都掌握在你的手里 Your success or failure is entirely in your own hands.
你能明白吗 Do you understand that?
好吧 Okay.
好的 Okay.
我去 Fuck.
你好 Hello?
嘿 Hey.
呃 是我 Uh it's me...
Cameron.
嘿 Hey.
你在 那地方吗 Are you at that place?
是的 呃 Yeah. Um...
我一直在想 之前发生的事情 listen I've been thinking about what happened
我只想说对不起 and I just want to say I'm sorry.
这一切真是糟透了 It was really shitty the way it all went down.
是的 Yeah.
你收到我的信了吗 我给你寄了封信 Did you get my letter? I sent you a letter.
-等等 真的吗 -是的 - Wait really? - Yeah.
孩子们 该走了 Hey guys! Time to wrap it up!
大家抬起头来 Hey eyes up here guys!
Coley 我得 我得走了 Coley I have to... I have to go.
我会再打给你的 I'll call you back.
你们多久可以看一次信件 How long did it take you guys to get mail privileges?
我不知道 I don't know.
大概两个月 或者更长 Like two months... maybe longer.
嘿 我修好了 Hey! I did it!
真棒 Great!
什么... What the...?
嘿Adam Hey Adam.
winkte是什么意思 What's winkte mean?
winkte为什么这么问 Winkte? Why do you ask?
呃 Um...
我在 I read it...
你的冰山图上看到的 on your iceberg.
哦 那是 那是双人格的别称 Yeah. It's a... It's a Lakotan word for two-spirit.
就像 就像第三种性别 It's like a... It's like a third gender.
所以我有两种灵魂 Okay so I am two-spirit
我生来就有一个男性的灵魂 which uh means I was born with a man's soul
和一个女性的灵魂 and a woman's soul
一般winkte的意思 是"被女人杀死" and uh literally "winkte" means "killed by woman"
就像我身体里男性的部分 so it's as if the male part of me
被女性的部分杀死了 is being killed by the female part.
明白了吗 That make sense?
他就是一个纯正的美国David Bowie He's basically like the Native American David Bowie.
名字不错 I'll take it.
所以 你父母为什么送你来这 So why'd your parents send you here?
他的父亲进入了政界 His dad got into politics
但他皈依了基督教 and then he converted to Christianity.
我这样的人 Me being like this...
对他的形象有损 fucks his image.
有没有 Did um...
Rick有没有告诉你们他被救的故事 Did Rick tell you guys the story about how he was saved?
你意思是基督教友怎么发现他的车 You mean how Christian allies happened upon his car
在一个同性恋酒吧外 然后怎么进去调查的事吗 in the parking lot of a gay bar and went inside to investigate?
同性恋酒吧里的人总喜欢一直盯着你 盯得你毛骨悚然 There was this like weird staredown
而且每个人都喜欢说艹你大爷 Rick在看到我们后超级激动 and everybody is like "Fuck" and finally Rick is like
喔天呐 你们是来拯救我的吗 "Oh my God. Did you guys come here to save me?"
他们是喜欢这样 喔对 我们开车经过时看到你们的车了 They're like "Oh yeah. We were driving and we saw your car."
-你开着那辆蓝色的 -灰色凯美瑞 没错 - "You drive the blue ..." - "Gray Toyota Camry" yes.
-对对对 是那辆 -嗯 - "Yeah yeah yeah. Of course." - Mm-hmm.
我们当时开着车 看到这些后 就觉得 We were driving. We saw it and we were like
哇喔 Rick真的是非常需要我们帮他寻找上帝 'Wow Rick really needs our help finding God '
所以我们才到这里来了 而不是为了来口你的 and that's why we're here not to suck your dick."
真的很不错啊 That's really good.
我对艺术疗法不太感冒啊 I'm too stoned for art therapy.
冒昧地问一句 这个对我们能有什么改善 I'm sorry. How is this supposed to help us?
你就把它当作一项屁用都没有的小测验 Just think of it as a test of how far your bullshit
比如 can take you. Like...
让我想想 ...let's see. Um...
-这个骑着马的女人 -嗯哼 - this woman riding a horse? - Mm-hmm.
她就是你 从那段为性取向而困惑的日子中疾驰而过 She's you galloping away from a past of gender confusion
奔向了光明的异性恋世界 and into a bright future of opposite-sex lovemaking.
然后 呃 And uh...
等下哈 hold on.
这只猫的话 This cat...
这只猫是个恶魔 想想你的那些过往 and this cat is the devil. Think of it as your past
那些诱惑 那些危险 还有那些 the temptations and the dangers and...
嘿 怎么啦 Hey how are you?
-做得不错 Adam -谢谢 - Good work Adam. - Thank you.
做得不错 Adam "Good work Adam."
这是皮尔斯伯里的面团男孩吗 This Pillsbury Doughboy?
温馨 舒适 美满的家庭 Domesticity and comfort and family.
想象下 你全家围坐在一张桌子旁 I mean just imagine you're all sitting at a table together
吃着羊角包 就像个正常的美国家庭一样 eating crescent rolls like a healthy American family.
这就像看Michael Angelo在西斯廷教堂里涂鸦一样 It's like watching Michael Angelo paint the Sistine Chapel.
怎么啦 你笑什么 你知道我说的一点没错 What? Why are you laughing? You know I'm right.
所以我笑了啊 That is why I'm laughing.
我觉得 这个机制对你很奏效 I mean the system is working on you.
去你的 这对我根本没用 Fuck you. No it's not working on me at all.
Oooh 喔哦哦
Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh ooh 喔哦哦哦哦
Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh 喔哦哦哦哦
Ooh ahh ahh ahh ahh ahh 哦哦哦 呐呐呐
And I try 我有努力啊
Oh my God do I try 哦上帝啊 我竭尽全力
I try all the time 从未想过要放弃
In this institution 在这禁锢世俗里
And I pray 我祈祷着
Oh my God do I pray 哦上帝 我虔心祈祷
I pray every single day 我在每一个日升月落中向您祷告
For revolution 祈祷能拥有繁花盛开的人生
-哇喔 -太尬了 - Whoo! - It's really embarrassing.
继续唱 Please... Please don't stop.
And so I cry sometimes 我也会偶尔在黑夜里哭泣
When I'm lying in bed 蜷缩于冰冷的被窝里
Just to get it all out what's in my head 任泪水肆意 希望能带走我所有的不如意
And I 而我
- I am feeling 感受到了
上去唱 Get up on stage.
A little peculiar 一丝特立独行的畅快
- Sing it. - And I wake in the morning -给你 继续唱 -在破晓时分醒来
And I step outside 我走出屋外
And I take a deep breath 深吸了一口黎明的空气
And I get real high and I 感受到一股前所未有的升华
- Whoo! - Scream from the top of my lungs -哇喔 -用尽洪荒之力地呐喊
"What's going on?!" 这世界到底怎么了
大家一起来 Come on everyone!
And I say "Hey yeah yeah yeah" 我呐喊 嘿耶耶耶
"Hey yeah yeah" 嘿耶耶
- I said "Hey!" 我呐喊 嘿
Helen!
What's going on?! 这世界到底怎么了
回去工作 Back to work.
气氛有点沉闷 所以我们调整了一下 The station went static so we changed it.
Adam 如果你还不把你的刘海剪短点 Adam if you don't get that hair out of your eyes
-我就把你的头发全都剃掉 -收到 - I'll shave it off. - Yes ma'am.
Cameron 跟我过来 Cameron come with me.
我去 Shit.
为什么要现在给我 Why now?
我觉得你将会从这些信件中学到很多 I think you'll benefit from what's in those letters.
谢谢 Thank you.
我很抱歉 I'm sorry.
这简直一团乱 It's just so messed up!
我很抱歉 I'm sorry.
Coley.
你他妈的在逗我吗 Are you fucking kidding me?
Coley 你先下车好不好 Coley please just get out of the car.
Coley 你先从车上下来 Coley come on. Just get out of the car.
艹 F-Fuck!
Jamie 我 Jamie I...
亲爱的Cameron 我现在对你简直火冒三丈 "Dear Cameron I'm very angry at you
因为你竟然利用了我们之间的友情 for taking advantage of our friendship."
-我去 什么鬼 -继续读 - Shit. - Keep reading it.
你是个天生的同性恋 但我不是 "You already had this thing in you but I didn't.
每当我想到 我曾花了多久时间 When I think of how long it took me
才鼓起勇气告诉妈妈 to gain the strength to tell my mom ..."
她说了 不关Jamie的事 She told. It wasn't Jamie.
要是她没的说错 怎么办 What if she's right...
就好像 就好像我在 you know like I-I-I took complete advantage
利用我们的友情一样 of our friendship
虽然我根本没意识到自己在这么做 and I wasn't even aware I was doing it?
不是的 No.
你可不能让一张粉色信纸扰乱了你的心情 Pink stationery does not get to fuck with you.
她这人 一点骨气都没有 This girl is spineless.
我们这么说 就算你的确搞砸了 Let's say what you did was fucked up
就算你的确把她也给传染成同性恋了 and you infected her or whatever.
那她也不应该把你供出来 It was a shit move to rat you out.
她只是想帮我 She was just trying to help me.
-她就是个该死的告密者 -她还把单词给拼错了 - She's a fucking rat. - And she misspelled "courage."
别说了 Stop it.
她比我们都要好 She's better than all of us.
而我却伤害了她 And I hurt her.
要是我们就这一次机会了 还搞砸了 那怎么办 What if this really is our only chance and we're blowing it?
每次都搞到最后这么讨厌自己 真烦人 I'm tired of feeling disgusted with myself.
可能作为青少年 Maybe you're supposed to feel disgusted with yourself
我们就该时不时地自我厌恶吧 when you're a teenager.
你好 Hello?
Ruth?
Cam?
你好呀 Hey.
真是个惊喜啊 你好吗 What a nice surprise! How are you?
我好想你 I miss you.
你还好吗 Are you okay?
要是我跟你说我其实不太开心 If I told you I was unhappy...
要是我说我想回家 and that I wanted to come home...
你会让我回去吗 would you let me?
Cam 别这样 Cam come on.
你总得试一试 You have to give it a chance.
我这么说全是因为我爱你 You know I'm doing this because I love you.
你以后不想组建自己的家庭吗 Don't you want to have a family someday?
Camie 我爱你 I love you Cammie.
我也爱你 I love you too.
Ruth 再见 Bye Ruth.
你觉得怎么样 Cameron How are you feeling Cameron?
嗯 Um...
我挺好的 I'm okay.
你看起来可不太好 You don't seem okay.
已经好些了 I've been better.
你正在消化自己任性的恶果 肯定不好过 You're facing the consequences of your actions and it's ugly.
你又想干嘛 Now what?
你现在必须接受这个事实 Now you stop fighting the process.
准备好了吗 Are you ready?
上帝创造了我们的躯体 You know it's God who created these bodies of ours
并施与祝福 and it's God who blesses them.
上帝帮助我们 以最好的状态工作 And with His help we can keep these bodies working in optimum condition.
准备好开始我们的 快乐健身修行了吗 Are you ready to start your "Fun to Be Fit" Blessercize program?
准备好了吗 一起来吧 Huh? Come on everybody!
非常棒 All right!
我们来做些有氧运动 Let's engage in some cardiovascular fitness
准备好了吗 unto the Lord. Ready?
It's gonna be fun to Blessercize with Jesus 与我主同行 乐趣多多
To be fit for Him in every way 为了我主 身心皆要健康
He will bless my body soul and spirit 我主保佑我的身体 灵魂 精神
And keep me with Him every day 每日都引我向上
I'm gonna sing praise hallelujah! 我必须来歌颂我主 哈利路亚
'Cause my body's growing firm and strong 因我的身体日渐强壮健康
你知道我们在做什么吗 You know what we're doing here?
我们在修炼内在的自我 We're developing our inner person.
看看吧 你们在往我主指引的路上走 You are heading toward godliness you see
各方面都在变好 in every area of your life
可得要继续好好努力了 and that takes some work.
The Lord is gonna Blessercize 我主引我们修行向上
Blessercize 修行向上
I'm growing stronger every day 我的身体日渐强壮健康
I'm gonna make a new start 我将开始新生
现在是腰腹运动了 太棒了 And that is your stomach workout. Terrific!
Blessercize 修行向上
我能帮什么忙吗 Is there anything I can help you with?
Cameron.
别出声 抱歉 就只有我在这 Shh shh. No. I'm sorry. It's just me.
搞什么鬼 What the fuck?
你刚刚声音太大了 You were making a lot of noise.
抱歉 我没事I'm sorry. I'm fine.
你梦到什么了 What were you dreaming about?
我不记得了 就是个挺可怕的梦 I don't remember okay? It was scary.
-不是很可怕吧 -真的很可怕 - No it wasn't. - Yeah it was.
你知道什么啊 你又没和我一起做梦 How would you know? You weren't dreaming with me.
我一直听你讲梦话来着 听起来不吓人 I was listening to you and those weren't scared noises.
就是很吓人 真是疯了 回床上去吧 It was. This is ridiculous. Go back to bed.
我都听见了 I heard you.
我才不... I don't give two...
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让我来 Let me do this.
不 没… 没事 我很好 No. I-It's okay. I'm good.
什么 What?
走开 Get off.
你是认真的吗 Are you serious?
我该回我的床上去了 I should go back to my own bed now.
现在 Right now?
他们随时都有可能进来 They could do a pop-in at any minute.
这事你谁都不能说 Cam You can't tell anyone Cam.
我不会说的 I won't.
我真的很想克服它 I really do want to get past this.
嗯 我相信你 Yeah. I believe you.
我才不在乎你信不信 I don't care if you believe me or not.
我就知道会这样 I knew this would happen.
我可没想到 I didn't.
因为你从来没有往那方面想过 Because you don't think of me that way.
这就是你看Tandy Campbell健身视频的原因吗 Is part of the reason why you watch those Tandy Campbell videos
她确实挺性感的 'cause she's kind of hot huh?
我们不应该鼓励彼此的同性恋倾向 We shouldn't encourage each other's homosexual attractions.
你他妈的是认真的吗 Are you fucking serious right now?
我不想再说了 我要睡觉 I don't want to talk anymore. I just want to go to sleep.
好吧 不过刚刚是你把我叫醒的 Okay. Well I mean you're the one that woke me up.
Tandy Campbell才不是我的菜 Tandy Campbell's not even my type.
神啊 请帮助我吧 让那些对音调和歌词的运用 God please help so that the pitch and lyrics
成为我的第二天性 become second nature
让我用歌唱表达我对您由衷的敬拜 and I can sing in worship from my heart.
So much to believe in 太多的信仰
We were lost in time 使我们在时间中迷失
Always thought of keeping 一直以为
Your heart next to mine 我们的心紧紧相依
But now that seems so far away 事实却是渐行渐远
Don't know how love can leave without a trace 我不知道原来爱可以消失得无影无踪
Where do silent hearts go? 那些沉默的心去了哪里
Where does my heart beat now? 我的心跳声去了哪里
Where is the sound 那些声响在哪儿呢
That only echoes through through the night? 那些陪我度过无数夜晚的回声
Where do all the lonely hearts go? 那些孤独的心都去了哪里
改变会通过上帝而到来 Change will come through
但是神啊 请与我同在 让我首先改变自己 God but within me I must be the change.
Mark 我们不如从你开始吧 Mark why don't you start us off?
我知道这一周对你来说不容易 I know you've had an especially hard week.
不 我… No. I...
每一周对我来说都不容易 Every week is especially hard.
有什么事… Is there something...
如果你想让我谈论我的父亲 Look if you want me to talk about my father
你不如直接问 then I'd prefer if you just ask.
看来你想谈谈你父亲的决定 Sounds like you want to talk about your father's decision.
我没有看到任何可谈论的余地 I don't see what there is to talk about.
你已经读过他的信了 I mean you've read his letter.
“我拒绝你的请求 "I am denying your request
本学期结束后 你还是不能回家 to return home at the end of the semester.
你依然非常的女人气 You are still very effeminate...
我的家里不允许有这种软弱的存在” and this is a weakness I cannot have in my home."
你对此感觉如何 How did that make you feel?
我想读一段经文 I'd like to read a passage.
这是我父亲最喜欢的段落之一 It's one of my father's favorites.
读吧 Please do.
有一根刺插在我的肉体里 "There was given to me a thorn in the flesh..."
撒旦的使者前来攻击我 "...the messenger of Satan to buffet me
使我免于过于抬高自己 lest I should be exalted above measure."
为了此事 "And for this thing
我曾三次向主求助 I besought the Lord thrice..."
希望能拔除这根刺 "...that it might depart from me."
但他却对我说 "And unto me he said..."
我对你的恩典已然足够 "...My grace is sufficient for thee..."
我的力量会使软弱的人更加强大 "'...for my strength is made perfect in weakness.'"
从此以后 我决定 "Most gladly therefore will I rather...
为我的虚弱感到骄傲 will I rather glory in infirmities
这样 基督的力量就会降临到我身上 that the power of Christ may rest upon me.
从此之后 我的快乐将来自… Therefore I-I take... I take pleasure in... in...
来自软弱 in infirmities in...
来自凌辱 in reproaches
来自困苦 来自迫害 in necessities in persecutions
来自不幸 一切都是为了基督 in distresses for Christ's sake
当我懦弱无用时 我其实强大无比 for when I am weak then am I strong!
当我懦弱无用时 For when I am weak..."
我其实强大无比 "...then am I strong."
当我懦弱无用时 "When I am weak...
我其实强大无比 then am I strong."
你不用表现得这么戏剧化 There is no need for theatrics.
不 我拥有这弱点 但是它… No I've got this weakness but this weakness...
-如果懦弱等于强大的话… -请坐下 - If weakness equals strength... - Please sit down.
...这种懦弱却会让我更加强壮 对吗 ...then this weakness makes me strong right?
讨论一下你选择的文章 Discuss the passage you have selected.
给我十倍的力量 二十倍的力量 Give me the strength of 10 Marks of 20 Marks!
当我懦弱无用时 实则强大无比 When I am weak I am strong! When I am weak I am strong!
-Mark 停下 -当我懦弱无用时 实则强大无比 - Mark stop it! - When I am weak I am strong!
当我懦弱无用时 实则强大无比 When I am weak I am strong!
-Mark -当我懦弱无用时 实则强大无比 - Mark! - When I am weak I am strong!
-现在就停下来 -强大 我很强大 - Stop it right now! - Strong strong!
我很强大 I am strong!
-我很强大 我很懦弱 -停下 - I am strong! I am weak! - Stop it!
等你能控制好你的情绪 I will remove my foot
我会把脚拿开 when you are ready to get control of yourself.
我想你们有些人应该知道了 I know that some of you are aware
昨晚Mark身上发生的一些意外 that Mark had a little bit of an accident last night.
Adam在盥洗室里找到的他 Adam found him in the bathroom
然后我们很快地把他送去了医院 and we rushed him to the hospital.
他的爸爸已经震怒了 His dad's already flown out.
他的情况已经稳定下来了 他会好起来的 He is stable and he's going to be okay.
妈的 Fuck this.
你们这说的不是一个死循环吗 You guys are talking in circles.
如果他不是自杀 他是怎么死的 If he didn't kill himself then what did he do?
Dane 大声喊叫和诅咒 Dane yelling and swearing
并不会让你自己对Mark的事情好过一点 won't help you feel better about what happened to Mark.
这你们就不懂了吧 你们错了 See that's where you're wrong 'cause it does actually.
这真是他妈的让我觉得好了一点 It makes me feel a fuck of a lot better.
你他妈怎么回事 Helen What the fuck is wrong with you Helen?
抱歉 I'm sorry.
我停不下来 I can't stop.
好了 每个人都回房间吧 Okay. Everybody go to your rooms.
我们进行一对一的询问 We're going to have individual one-on-ones.
我们叫到你的时候 再出来 Go to your rooms until we call you!
Helen 和 Dane留下 Helen and Dane stay.
他会好起来吗 Is he going to be all right?
应该会吧 I think so.
他伤的很重 It is a serious injury.
这谈话实在没什么意义 This is completely pointless
如果你不告诉我到底发生了什么 if you don't tell me what's happened.
如果你真想知道的话 我可以告诉你 I can tell you what happened if that's what you want.
但是这... 呃... But it's... It's uh...
我能承受住的 I can handle ugly.
昨晚 Mark用剃刀反复切割他的生殖器 Last night Mark used a razor to cut his genitals several times.
然后他把漂白剂洒在伤口上 Then he poured bleach over the wounds.
Adam发现了他 Adam found him.
如果你担心他 为什么把他一个人留在那里 If you were worried about him why did you leave him alone?
我不知道该怎么回答 I don't have a very good answer for you.
Adam还好吗 Is Adam okay?
总的来说 我想是的 I think so all things considered.
他需要一段时间来接受这件事情 It is going to take him some time to process.
你他妈怎么能接受 How the fuck do you process
看着你的室友把他的阴茎切下来 watching your roommate try and cut his dick off?
他要怎么办 把它扔到冰山图上吗 What's he going to do put it on his iceberg?
你们这些人不知道自己在做什么 对吧 You people have no idea what you're doing do you?
你们只是在让事情 像你们想的那样发展 You're just making it up as you go along.
我现在不知道该怎么回答你 I don't know how to answer you right now.
我... I...
我十分抱歉 I'm so sorry.
我非常抱歉 I'm so sorry.
呃... 基本上是自主学习 Um mostly independent study.
你会常去户外走走吗 Do you have access to the outdoors on a regular basis?
是的 Yeah.
晚上你在宿舍里觉得安全吗 Do you feel safe in your dorm rooms at night?
是的 Yeah.
你会觉得自己被同学或者其他学生威胁吗 Do you feel threatened by staff members or fellow students?
没有 No.
你相信这里的管理者吗 Do you trust those in charge here?
不太相信 Not really.
你不相信这里的工作人员吗 You don't trust the staff here?
那你们... 我是说 信任他们的什么呢 Well what do you... I mean trust them how?
你认为他们把你的利益放在首位吗 Do you think they have your best interests in mind?
没有 他们就是只会打击我们 No one's you know beating us.
但你问了我是否相信他们 But you asked me if I trust them.
是啊 是这样 And sure yeah.
我相信他们能安全地开车 I trust them to drive the van safely
我也相信他们能去买食物 但是... and I trust them to buy food but...
我知道你在这里 是因为Mark身上发生的事情 Look I know you're here because of what happened to Mark.
发生在他身上的不是小事 Something didn't just happen to him.
他伤害了自己 He injured himself.
就在这样的保护之下 While under the care of this facility.
是的 这就是我来这里的原因 Correct and that's why I'm here
来调查管理这里的人 to investigate the care that is given
提供了怎样的保护 by those who run this facility
而不是他们的目标是什么 not to investigate the mission of this facility
除非他们有虐待 或者忽视监管的行动 unless that includes abuse or neglect.
是啊 但精神虐待呢 Yeah but what about emotional abuse?
你是说 你被精神虐待了 Are you saying you're being emotionally abused
被这里的员工 by the staff here?
怎样使自已恨自已 How is programming people to hate themselves
不是情感上的折磨 not emotional abuse?
我记下你所说的了 I've made note of what you said
这将会记入档案中 and it will be in the official file.
谢谢 Thank you.
我根本不知道Mark刮过胡子 I didn't even know Mark shaved.
他没有 He doesn't.
那是我的刮刀 It was my razor.
我还以为他死了呢 I thought he was dead.
去他的 Fuck this place.
我去偷货车的钥匙 I'll steal the keys to the van.
明天一早我们就在加拿大了 We'll be in Canada by morning.
我去把灯关掉了 I'm going to turn the light off.
好的 Okay.
早起的鸟儿有虫吃 对不对 Early bird gets the worm huh?
是啊 You know it.
你们起这么早干什么呢 What are y'all doing up so early?
额 我们去远足 Um we went on a hike.
听起来不错 Sounds fun.
-最近怎么样 -好 非常好 - So how's it going? - Good. Real good.
我们这儿会来一个新的学徒 I found out we'll be getting a new disciple...
一个来自印度的年轻的男人 young man from Indiana.
这样周三你就会有一个新的室友了 Looks like you'll be getting a new roommate on Wednesday.
不错 等不及要见到他了 Oh cool. Can't wait.
你最近看什么新电影了吗 So you seen any new movies lately?
我终于看了你推荐的 I finally watched "Young Frankenstein"
"科学怪人"了 on your recommendation.
我已经很久没有笑得这么厉害了 I haven't laughed that hard in a long time.
我就觉得你会喜欢的 I figured you'd like that one.
嗯 我很喜欢那段手肘吻那段 你记得吗 Mm. I love that part with the elbow kiss you know?
-对的 -"不要亲嘴唇" - Right. - "Not on the lips!"
我和我爸经常那样玩 My dad and I used to do that.
我们该走了 今天又是行程满满的一天 We should go you know so we can make our day.
你们真要去远足呀 不得不服 You guys are serious hikers. I'm impressed.
-也许下次我也来 -好的 一定哦 - Maybe next time I'll come. - Yeah definitely.
玩得高兴点 Have fun.
你也是 You too.
-拜拜 Rick -拜拜 Rick - Bye Rick. - Bye Rick.
Sit around 坐下来吧
和那司机说点什么吧 Say something to him.
你觉得我像是这种荡妇吗 What kind of a slut do you think I am?
我朋友都说你很正点 My friend thinks you're hot!
嘿 别说了 Hey stop it!
说点骚话 说点淫荡的 Say something sexy. Say something sexy.
额 来拉我的"手指" Uh... pull my finger.
喔 Whoa!
-该死 -伙计 - Shit. - Dude!
拉我的"手指" 拉我的"手指" "Pull my finger." "Pull my finger."
好的 Yes.
噢 伙计 Oh man.
太逊了 That is stupid.
但是有用 好吧 Hey it worked.
Once upon a time 很久以前
I was all alone 我都是孤身一人
I was scared and I was idle 我很害怕也很空虚
I couldn't ask for help when I needed You 当我需要你的时候不敢请求帮助
'Cause I was too full of pride 因为我太傲娇了
But I was walking on my own 但是我都是自已一个在行走
Ohhhh 噢
You've been there the whole time 你一直都在身边
Your footsteps right behind mine 你的脚步一直跟随着我
And I am never scared 'cause I... 我从来没有害怕过 因为
I'm never going to be perfect 我从来没有想过我会变得完美
But with your love I will keep striving 有了你的爱我将继续努力
And I will ask for help when it all goes wrong 当我遇到困难我将要寻求帮助
And I will spread Your love like fire 我将像火把照亮大地一样到处洒满爱
- Ahhhh - And if anyone asks -啊 -如果有人问起
- Ahhhh - "Are you alone tonight?" -啊 -你今晚有空吗
You've been there the whole time 你一直都在我身边
Your footsteps right behind mine 你的脚步一直在我身后
I'm never scared because 我从来没有害怕过 因为
You've been there the whole time 你一直在我身边
Your footsteps right behind mine 你的脚步一直在我身后
I am never scared 'cause 我从来没有害怕
You've been there the whole time 你一直在我的身边