CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY WARNER BROS.
YOU LIVED WITH HIM WHEN HE WAS NOTHING.
YOU SUFFERED HIS YOUTH
AND ENDURED THE YEARS OF STRUGGLE.
YOU'RE ENTITLED TO HALF OF EVERYTHING HE HAS.
NOW, I'M NOT MARRIED,
SO I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE
TO FACE THE CONCLUSION
OF A DECADES OLD RELATIONSHIP.
AND I DON'T HAVE CHILDREN, SO I CAN'T SAY PRECISELY
HOW THE FINAL DISPOSITION OF THE OFFSPRING
WOULD IMPACT ME EMOTIONALLY.
BUT I CAN SAY THIS MUCH--
YOU HAVE IT WITHIN YOUR MEANS
TO GRIND YOUR HUSBAND INTO THE GROUND.
I DON'T KNOW IF I WANT TO GO QUITE THAT FAR.
MRS. ARNOLD, YOU CAME TO ME
BECAUSE YOU WANTED FINANCIAL PROTECTION.
IF YOU WANT SYMPATHY, YOU WON'T GET IT HERE.
YOU WON'T GET EMOTION FROM ME.
I'M NOT AN EMOTIONAL PERSON.
WELL...
WHAT DOES GRINDING HIM INTO THE GROUND INVOLVE?
GOING FOR HIS WEAKEST SPOT.
HE'S A PUBLIC MAN, A POLITICIAN.
YOU THREATEN HIS IMAGE.
HOW?
WE IMMEDIATELY BEGIN DOCUMENTING
HIS SEXUAL IMPROPRIETIES.
THAT'S AWFULLY PERSONAL.
TABLE FOR TWO, PLEASE.
NONSMOKING, BY THE WINDOW, IF YOU HAVE IT.
TESIO.
TESIO, GO AND NOTIFY ALBERT THAT WE HAVE...
A SITUATION.
I HAVE NO TABLES.
THEY'RE ALL RESERVED.
ARE YOU FAMILIAR WITH THE CITY ORDINANCE--
TITLE 2, CHAPTER 160, SECTION 010?
ALL PERSONS SHALL HAVE EQUAL ACCESS
TO PUBLIC SERVICES AND SO FORTH AND SO ON.
IN SHORT, I HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO BE IN THIS RESTAURANT.
NOT SO LONG AS THAT RESTAURANT
HAS A DRESS CODE
AND THAT DRESS CODE REQUIRES A TIE--
TIE? RIGHT HERE.
WELL, I GUESS, THEN,
IT'S TIME FOR ME TO BE MOVING ON.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH--
I DON'T NEED THE HELP. IT'S NOT NECESSARY.
NO, NO, NO, NO, NO!
WHY DON'T YOU PICK ON SOMEONE YOUR OWN SIZE,
YOU BIG, UGLY CHUMP?
OOH!
MRS. ARNOLD DROPPED BY TO SAY HELLO
ON HER WAY OUT.
SHE LOOKED LIKE SHE'D SEEN A GHOST.
WHAT DID YOU DO TO HER?
TOLD HER WHAT HER OPTIONS ARE.
I DON'T THINK SHE'S INTERESTED
IN DESTROYING HER HUSBAND,
AND I'M NOT INTERESTED IN THIS FIRM
BEING KNOWN FOR RUINING FRANK ARNOLD.
DON'T TELL ME HOW TO DO MY WORK.
GO EASY ON THIS DIVORCE,
OR I'LL PUT ANOTHER ATTORNEY ON IT.
WHO ARE YOU TRYING TO PROTECT?
THE LAW FIRM, THE WIFE, KIDS.
THINGS YOU WOULDN'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT, GREY,
AND I FEEL SORRY FOR YOU.
WELL, DON'T LOSE TOO MUCH SLEEP.
HEY, LIGHTEN UP.
YOU KEEP GOING 190 MILES AN HOUR,
YOU'RE GOING TO HIT SOMETHING.
ALL RIGHT, TAKE THIS STICK,
AND I WANT YOU TO CRACK ME
RIGHT ON THE TOP OF THE HEAD, ALL RIGHT?
FORGET IT.
HONEY...
YOU HAVE TO DO IT.
IT'S NOT GONNA HURT ME, I SWEAR.
NOW, WE TALKED ABOUT THIS
ALL THE WAY IN FROM DETROIT.
YEAH, BUT THAT WAS TALKING.
TALKING'S DIFFERENT THAN DOING.
THAT'S RIGHT, AND IF IT WASN'T,
WE COULD TALK OUR WAY
INTO A MILLION DOLLARS AND A NICE HIGH-RISE PENTHOUSE.
WE HAVE TO DO THE DOING, NOT THE TALKING.
COME ON.
YOU'RE GOING TO CRY.
HAVE YOU EVER SEEN ME CRY, HONEY?
NO, BUT I'VE SEEN YOU SAD.
WELL, THAT'S NOT CRYING, IS IT?
YOU CAN CRY AND NOT FEEL SAD
JUST LIKE YOU CAN FEEL SAD AND NOT CRY.
NOW, COME ON. WE'VE GOT TO HURRY WITH THIS.
WE'VE GOT THINGS TO DO, ALL RIGHT?
NOW, HOWEVER MUCH YOU LOVE ME,
THAT'S HOW HARD YOU HIT ME, OK?
I LOVE YOU A LOT.
WELL, THEN THE HARDER YOU HIT ME,
THE MORE I KNOW YOU LOVE ME.
OK.
THAT A GIRL.
ALL RIGHT.
OOH!
DINNER.
MM-HMM.
[DISENGAGES CAR ALARM]
AAH!
[SOBBING]
YOU KILLED MY DADDY!
HELP!
IS IS A GODDAMN JOKE.
SHE'S LOOKING AT US.
GIVE HER THE $25 SMILE.
[TELEPHONE RINGS]
[RING]
WHERE IN THE SWEET NAME OF ALL THAT'S HOLY
HAVE YOU BEEN?
I HIT A MAN WITH MY CAR.
HERE.
I ALMOST HAD THAT LADY'S PURSE, BUT YOU BLEW IT.
I HAD IT RIGHT IN MY HAND.
TOUGH. WE DON'T STEAL.
BUT WE CHEAT.
A LITTLE. BUT WE DON'T STEAL.
WE LIE.
A LITTLE MORE THAN WE CHEAT,
BUT THAT'S NOT RIGHT, EITHER.
IT'S BECAUSE OF THE TIMES.
THAT'S RIGHT. WE DON'T STEAL,
AND WE DON'T BREAK ANY LAWS.
WELL, SOME LAWS WE DO.
NOT THE GOOD ONES.
STAY THERE. I'LL COME GET YOU.
THIS STINKS LIKE TROUBLE. GOD, I DON'T NEED THIS.
WHERE ARE YOU?
ROCKY FELLER'S HOUSE OF BEEF ON RANDOLPH.
DID ANYBODY SEE YOU GO IN?
I DON'T THINK SO.
I'LL BE THERE RIGHT AWAY.
[SLURPING]
AH. ALL DONE.
SHOULD JOIN US, MA'AM.
THAT WAS A GREAT MEAL, WASN'T IT, HONEY?
YEAH.
SURE DIRTY.
THIS LITTLE ANGEL'S NOT ONLY THE CUTEST GIRL IN THE WORLD,
SHE'S ALSO THE SMARTEST.
WHY DON'T YOU SPELL SOMETHING FOR HER?
HOW ABOUT "ASPHYXIATE"?
A...
S...
P...
T-BONE! T-BONE! HEAVY ON THE MEAT!
EASY ON THE BONE! POTATO. HOT POTATO!
THANK YOU, NO. I'VE RIDDEN BETTER LOOKING MEAT THAN THAT.
BEAR RIGHT, BEAR RIGHT.
I...A...
T-E.
YOU EVER SEEN ANYTHING LIKE THAT?
THAT'S A BIG WORD FOR SUCH A LITTLE GIRL.
HELLO...DORIS.
LET'S GO.
OH. THIS IS THE GENTLEMAN
I MENTIONED ON THE PHONE AND HIS DAUGHTER.
PLEASED TO MEET YOU.
NICE TO MEET YOU. ALSO.
I'M WILLIAM DANCER. BILL.
SHE'S A PRETTY LITTLE GIRL.
YOU MUST BE VERY PROUD.
DORIS.
DORIS...
I'M EXTREMELY GRATEFUL FOR YOUR KINDNESS, MA'AM.
YOU'RE A LUCKY MAN TO HAVE SUCH A GOOD-HEARTED WOMAN AS A WIFE.
NO, WE'RE NOT MARRIED--
GOOD NIGHT, AND GOOD LUCK.
WE'D LIKE TO REPAY YOU FOR THE MEAL.
THAT'S NOT NECESSARY.
NO, THE CHILD HERE
MAKES A REAL PRETTY REFRIGERATOR PICTURE.
SHE CAN DRAW JUST ABOUT ANYTHING.
THANK YOU, NO.
GOOD NIGHT.
WE DIDN'T GET NOTHING BUT DINNER.
SHE LOOKED LIKE 50 BUCKS FOR SURE.
WE TAKE WHAT WE GET.
WE HAD HER, BILL. THE GUY SCREWED IT UP.
YOU KNOW...
THAT'S JUST THE KIND OF LADY
YOU SHOULD BE PRAYING FOR TO BE YOUR MOM.
WHY? WHO NEEDS A MOM?
YOU DON'T GOT A MOM, AND YOU CAME OUT ALL RIGHT.
GRAB SOME NAPKINS AND USE THE WASHROOM.
OK.
OH, HERE.
HUH?
GO BRUSH YOUR TEETH.
I BRUSHED MY TEETH IN DETROIT.
FINE. SO YOU BRUSH YOUR TEETH IN CHICAGO NOW.
OK.
IF YOU'RE NOT BACK IN 5 MINUTES, I'M COMING TO GET YOU.
IN A LADIES' BATHROOM?
THAT'S RIGHT.
NO FOOLING AROUND IN THERE.
WHAT'LL YOU GIVE ME FOR THIS?
WELL, IT'S NOT MUCH. A RUBY?
I DON'T KNOW. YOU LOOK AT IT.
LOOK, I'LL GIVE YOU 15 BUCKS.
TAKE IT OR LEAVE IT.
DONE.
NOW GET OUT OF HERE BEFORE I CALL THE COPS.
THANKS, YOU JERK.
I'M SORRY ABOUT YOUR RING, HONEY.
IT'S OK.
I'LL GET YOU ANOTHER ONE.
THAT WOULD MAKE ME FEEL KIND OF NERVOUS.
WHY WOULD A RING MAKE YOU FEEL NERVOUS?
WHEN SOMEBODY GIVES YOU SOMETHING TO REMEMBER THEM BY,
IT MEANS THEY'RE GONNA TAKE OFF.
IF THEY'RE GONNA STICK AROUND,
YOU DON'T NEED ANYTHING TO REMEMBER THEM BY
BECAUSE THEY'LL BE THERE.
YOU WORRY TOO MUCH.
WHAT CAN YOU TELL ME
ABOUT THE FRANK ARNOLD DIVORCE?
IT SOUNDS WONDERFULLY FILTHY AND SICK.
YOU KNOW I CAN'T TELL YOU ANYTHING, SO WHY DO YOU ASK?
HE'S INCREDIBLY CORRUPT.
WHAT IF YOU NEED A FAVOR SOMETIME?
WITH THE MATERIAL I'M GATHERING ON HIM,
I'LL GET FAVORS FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE.
LIKE WHAT KIND OF MATERIAL? PHOTOS?
LET'S CHANGE THE SUBJECT.
SOMETHING'S WRONG.
SOMETHING'S BOTHERING YOU.
I CAN'T STOP THINKING ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED LAST NIGHT.
WELL...WHAT'S THERE TO THINK ABOUT?
IT HAPPENED. IT'S OVER.
YOU'LL NEVER SEE THOSE PEOPLE AGAIN.
[CELLULAR PHONE RINGS]
HELLO? HELLO? HELLO? HELLO? WALKER.
IT'S MINE.
[ORGAN PLAYS]
DON'T YOU WANT ANY?
UM...I'LL HAVE WHAT YOU DON'T FINISH.
THAT WON'T BE ANYTHING PRETTY SOON.
HMM...
WHAT PART DON'T YOU WANT?
THE MEAT?
NO, YOU NEED THE MEAT.
NO, I DON'T.
ALL RIGHT. I'LL TAKE THE MEAT.
YOU EAT THE EGG. YOU NEED THE EGG.
OK. HERE'S THE MEAT.
THANKS.
YOU'RE WELCOME.
MMM, GOOD.
LOOK, AFTER WE FINISH HERE,
I NEED TO CHECK INTO A JOB,
AND THEN WE'LL GO TO THE ART MUSEUM.
I HATE THE ART MUSEUM.
IS IT GONNA HURT YOU TO LEARN A THING OR TWO?
ALL YOU LEARN FROM THE ART MUSEUM
IS HOW TO KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT
AND HOW TO WALK WITHOUT MAKING SQUEAKY SOUNDS WITH YOUR SHOES.
ALL RIGHT. THEN I'LL PUT YOU IN SCHOOL.
YOU CAN'T. WELFARE PEOPLE WOULD TAKE ME AWAY.
NOT IF I HAVE A JOB AND A NICE PLACE TO LIVE.
YOU DON'T GOT LEGAL CUSTODY.
WE'D GET CAUGHT, AND COPS'LL THROW YOU IN JAIL.
IS THAT A NICE THING TO SAY?
WE WOULDN'T EVEN BE TALKING ABOUT THIS
IF YOU'D GOT SOME MONEY OUT OF THAT LADY.
WE'D BE ON THE ROAD.
YOU DIDN'T BECAUSE SHE WAS TOO PRETTY.
SHE WAS TOO SMART.
AND SHE WAS TOO PRETTY.
SHE WAS IN A HURRY.
AND SHE WAS TOO PRETTY.
SHE WAS GONNA CATCH ONTO US.
AND SHE WAS TOO PRETTY.
YOU'RE PRETTY, AND I DON'T LEAVE YOU ALONE.
SHE WAS TOO PRETTY.
ALL RIGHT, IF I PROMISE TO SAY
SHE WAS TOO PRETTY,
WILL YOU PUT A CORK IN IT?
MM-HMM.
PROMISE?
MM-HMM.
SHE WAS TOO PRETTY.
HEE HEE HA HA HA!
I KNEW IT!
HUBBA HUBBA.
Woman: GREY! GREY!
GREY...
GREY! GREY!
SLOW DOWN! MY LEGS ARE MOVING SO FAST
MY PANTY HOSE IS MELTING.
MRS. ARNOLD CALLED. SHE SOUNDED PISSED.
SHE SAID SHE NEEDS TO SEE YOU TOMORROW,
SO I GAVE HER YOUR 2:30, OK?
FINE.
WALKER CALLED. HE SAYS HE HAS A DINNER MEETING
AND PROBABLY WON'T COME OVER,
BUT IF YOU THINK YOU'LL NEED TO HAVE SEX--
THAT'S WHAT HE SAID--
GO AHEAD OVER TO HIS PLACE AFTER YOUR DINNER.
CALL HIM AND DECLINE.
MR. OXBAR--
I REALLY HAVE TO GO.
WE AIN'T BEGGARS, RIGHT?
RIGHT.
WELL, THEN WHAT'S THE POINT
OF GOING TO FIND THAT LADY AGAIN?
ARE YOU HUNGRY?
NOT MUCH.
WELL, I AM.
THERE'S NO HARM IN SHOWING OUR FACE
AROUND HER AGAIN
AND SEEING IF SHE'LL OFFER US ANOTHER MEAL.
THAT'S BEGGING.
NO, IT ISN'T.
BEGGING IS ASKING IN A PATHETIC FASHION.
YOU'RE SPITTING HAIRS, BILL.
HELL, I'D RATHER SING FOR MY SUPPER
THAN SIT IN A PARKING LOT.
THEY STINK TO ALL HOLY HEAVEN.
LOOK, WE'RE GOING TO WAIT IN THE GARAGE,
WE'RE GOING TO LOOK LIKE WE'RE DOING SOME BUSINESS,
AND IF SHE COMES OUT, SHE FEELS KIND,
WE'RE GOING TO TAKE HER KINDNESS.
AND IF SHE DOESN'T COME OUT--
WE FREEZE OUR NUTS OFF.
YOU DON'T HAVE ANY NUTS TO FREEZE OFF, HONEY.
[DISENGAGES CAR ALARM]
COME ON, BABY. WHAT'S THE MATTER?
THIS IS THE PLACE. LET'S GO.
MY LIPS ARE CHAPPED, AND I HAVE TO FIND MY LIP GREASE.
WOMEN.
AAH!
NOW YOU'VE REALLY KILLED HIM!
[SIGHS]
THERE ARE NO BROKEN BONES,
NO CONTUSIONS, NO ABRASIONS.
A FEW LESIONS, NOT OF YOUR DOING.
THAT WOUND ON HIS FOREHEAD, THAT'S A DAY OR 2 OLD.
OH. I DID THAT YESTERDAY.
YOU HIT HIM TWICE?
WHAT HE NEEDS IS SOAP,
A RAZOR, A GOOD MEAL, BED REST,
AND THEN A GOOD SWIFT KICK IN THE BEHIND.
YOU'RE CRAZY TO LET A PERSON LIKE THAT
STAY IN YOUR HOUSE.
THE LITTLE GIRL IS HIS DAUGHTER.
SHE COULD USE A LITTLE SOAP, TOO.
THIS IS A MATTER FOR THE CITY,
NOT A SINGLE WOMAN LIVING ALONE.
I'M SURE IT LOOKS WORSE THAN IT IS.
I APPRECIATE YOUR CONCERN, BUT IT'S OK.
I'M SORRY.
I FELL ASLEEP, SEEING AS HOW I WAS SO EXTREMELY TIRED.
OH, WELL, YOU'LL GET TO GO TO SLEEP IN JUST A MINUTE.
OK?
THANK YOU FOR COMING UP.
DON'T BE SILLY.
THIS IS THE STUFF OF 10:00 NEWS LEAD STORIES,
BUT YOU'RE OVER 21.
I'LL SLEEP WITH MY DOOR LOCKED.
I'M IN THE BUILDING.
I CAN BE HERE IN 2 SECONDS IF YOU NEED ME.
THANKS.
GOOD NIGHT, DEAR.
MMM!
[GULP]
[BURPS]
THIS IS VERY EXCELLENT.
I NEVER KNEW PIZZA WAS SO GOOD WHEN IT WAS HOT.
THINK BILL WOULD WANT SOME?
I THINK BILL'S BETTER OFF RESTING.
HIS WHOLE LIFE IS NOTHING
BUT A THOUSAND MILES OF BAD ROAD.
OH, THE DOCTOR SAID HE'S GOING TO BE FINE.
DON'T TELL BILL HE SAW A DOCTOR.
IT'S AGAINST HIS FAITH.
[GROANING]
OH, NO. THAT'S HIS AFRAID-TO-DIE-ALONE GROAN.
YOU KEEP EATING,
AND I'LL GO SEE HOW HE IS, OK?
OK. TELL HIM TO HOLD ON,
AND TELL HIM TO BE STRONG AND DON'T LEAVE ME.
HE'S GONNA BE ALL RIGHT. HE'S NOT GOING ANYWHERE.
[CRIES]
[GROANS]
IT'S ME.
WHERE AM I?
YOU'RE IN MY APARTMENT.
I HIT YOU WITH MY CAR.
IS IT YESTERDAY?
I HIT YOU AGAIN.
WHERE'S MY CHILD?
SHE'S IN THE KITCHEN EATING PIZZA.
[WHISTLES]
BIG TIME.
IT'S A SHAME WE DON'T STEAL.
YOUR DAUGHTER'S HAD A BATH,
AND I HAVE A ROOM ALL READY FOR HER.
I'D LIKE YOU TO AT LEAST STAY THE NIGHT.
YOUR FOLKS RELIGIOUS PEOPLE?
NOT REALLY.
I'M SURPRISED.
WHY?
BECAUSE...
YOU'RE A SAINT.
HMM.
THERE ARE FRESH TOWELS IN THE BATHROOM.
I'LL SEE THAT YOUR DAUGHTER GETS TO BED.
THANK YOU.
I HAVE THE APARTMENT WIRED FOR SECURITY.
THERE'S A MAN DOWNSTAIRS.
I NEED ONLY TOUCH A BUTTON.
I DON'T MEAN TO BE HARSH OR UNKIND,
BUT I DON'T KNOW YOU, AND YOU'RE IN MY HOME.
NOW, IF YOU HAVE ANY DISHONEST INKLINGS,
I CAUTION YOU THAT I'M NO FOOL.
I UNDERSTAND, MA'AM.
MA'AM...
FOR THE RECORD...
I'M NO CRIMINAL.
WELL...
GOOD NIGHT.
GOOD NI--
GOOD NIGHT.
[COUGHS]
OHH...
AHH...
HOW MANY PEOPLE LIVE HERE?
JUST ME.
WHOSE ARE ALL THOSE CLOTHES?
THEY'RE MINE.
HOW COME YOUR BED'S SO HUGE?
I LIKE A BIG BED.
YOU GOT AN AWFUL LOT OF PILLOWS FOR JUST ONE PERSON.
WELL...
HOW COME YOU HAVE SO MANY TVs?
I MUST HAVE SEEN 3 ALREADY.
HOW'S THIS?
IT WON'T BE
THE MOST BEAUTIFUL OUTFIT IN THE WORLD,
BUT I THINK IT'LL DO.
[SNIFFS]
HOW COME THIS SMELLS SO GOOD?
IT'S CLEAN.
OH.
WHY DON'T YOU TAKE THAT ROOM NEXT TO MINE?
THAT'LL BE YOUR ROOM FOR TONIGHT.
YOU TRY THAT ON,
AND I'LL COME AND SAY GOOD NIGHT.
MA'AM, YOU'RE SO NICE.
MY NAME IS GREY.
MRS. GREY?
NO. JUST GREY.
OH.
WHAT'S YOUR NAME?
CURLY SUE.
I BET I KNOW WHY THEY CALL YOU CURLY SUE.
'CAUSE YOU GOT ALL THAT BEAUTIFUL CURLY HAIR.
NO.
IT'S BECAUSE THIS GUY WE WINTERED WITH--
TAMPA JOE REILLY--
HE THOUGHT I LOOKED LIKE THE BIG OAF IN THE THREE STOOGES.
HE SAID IT SO MUCH THAT IT STUCK. SEE YA.
OHH.
HOW COME YOU DON'T HAVE ANY KIDS?
YOU HAVE PLENTY OF DOUGH FOR LOTS OF THEM.
IT WOULD BE HARD FOR ME TO HAVE CHILDREN.
I'M NOT MARRIED.
KIDS DON'T COME FROM WEDDINGS, YOU KNOW.
THEY COME FROM RIGHT DOWN--
UH, NO.
I KNOW.
THE PROPER WAY TO HAVE A FAMILY
IS TO START WITH A WEDDING, ISN'T IT?
WELL, UNLESS YOU HAVE A BABY FIRST.
I WANT TO HAVE 7 BABIES.
I'M NAMING THEM MONDAY, TUESDAY,
WEDNESDAY, THURSDAY, FRIDAY,
SATURDAY, AND BILL--
AFTER BILL.
CAN I ASK YOU WHY YOU CALL YOUR FATHER BILL?
WELL, UM...
IF I'M, UH, IN A CROWDED PLACE,
AND I YELL...
I YELL, "DAD!" 50 GUYS TURN AROUND.
I YELL, "BILL," AND MAYBE 2 TURN AROUND.
IT'S A TIMESAVER, REALLY.
WELL, YOU BETTER GET SOME SLEEP.
GOOD NIGHT.
EXCUSE ME. WHERE IS THE GUY YOU WERE WITH YESTERDAY?
HE HAD TO WORK LATE.
IS HE A COP?
NO.
GOOD NIGHT.
MA'AM?
YES?
I BET HE LOVES YOU A LOT.
I HOPE SO.
GOOD NIGHT.
WELL, I KNOW HOW YOU CAN TELL.
HOW?
HE LETS YOU EAT FIRST.
SWEET DREAMS.
[DOOR LOCKS]
HI.
YOU OK?
OH, YEAH. I'M FINE.
I MEAN, I FEEL LIKE I GOT HIT BY A CAR.
YOU GOT HIT BY A CAR.
YOU OK?
YEAH.
COME HERE.
WHAT'S THE MATTER, BABY?
I'VE NEVER SLEPT BY MYSELF SINCE I WAS A BABY.
OH, YOU'LL LOVE IT.
YOU DON'T GET KICKED SO MUCH.
BUT WHAT IF I GET SCARED?
WELL...
THERE'S NO REASON TO BE SCARED.
KNOW WHY?
HMM.
BECAUSE WHEN YOU'RE ALONE,
ANGELS COME TO THE WINDOW.
YOU OPEN IT UP,
THEY FLOAT INTO THE ROOM OVER YOUR BED,
AND IF YOU'RE ASLEEP,
THEY'LL COME DOWN
AND KISS YOUR EYELIDS,
AND THEY GIVE YOU THE SWEETEST,
MOST WONDERFUL DREAMS YOU'LL EVER HAVE.
IS THIS TRUE?
SURE, IT'S TRUE.
YOU SURE?
YEAH. NOW, COME HERE, GIVE ME A HUG.
COME ON.
LOVE YOU, BILL.
OH, BABY.
I LOVE YOU, TOO, HONEY.
YOU KNOW, WE'RE VERY LUCKY TODAY.
YOU GO TO BED.
OK.
ALL RIGHT? GET SOME REST.
OK.
GO ON.
WE HAVE NOW COME TO THE END OF OUR PROGRAM DAY,
AND WE'LL JOIN YOU TOMORROW
AT THE REGULARLY SCHEDULED TIME.
GOOD NIGHT.
Curly Sue: ¶ OH, SAY, CAN YOU SEE ¶
¶ BY THE DAWN'S EARLY LIGHT ¶
¶ WHAT SO PROUDLY WE HAILED ¶
¶ AT THE TWILIGHT'S LAST GLEAMING ¶
¶ WHOSE BROAD STRIPES AND BRIGHT STARS ¶
¶ THROUGH THE PERILOUS FIGHT ¶
¶ O'ER THE RAMPARTS WE WATCHED ¶
¶ WERE SO GALLANTLY STREAMING ¶
¶ AND THE ROCKETS' RED GLARE ¶
¶ THE BOMBS BURSTING IN AIR ¶
¶ GAVE PROOF THROUGH THE NIGHT ¶
¶ THAT OUR FLAG WAS STILL THERE ¶
¶ OH, SAY, DOES THAT STAR-SPANGLED ¶
¶ BANNER YET WAVE ¶
¶ O'ER THE LAND OF THE FREE ¶
¶ AND THE HOME OF THE BRAVE ¶
PLAY BALL.
SHOOT.
SHE'S MAD.
[SNORES]
[GARGLING]
[GASPS]
AAH!
AAH! AAH!
[GLASS BREAKS]
AAH!
YOU'RE NUTS!
WILL YOU KEEP YOUR VOICE DOWN?
AM I HALLUCINATING?
YOU HAVE 2 DERELICTS IN YOUR APARTMENT.
IT'S A LONG STORY.
AND A WEIRD ONE,
WHICH I'M PUTTING A STOP TO AS SOON I CAN FOCUS MY EYES.
I'M SORRY I HIT YOU. I DIDN'T RECOGNIZE YOU.
THAT SPEAKS WELL FOR OUR RELATIONSHIP.
I WAS RIPPED FROM MY SLEEP BY A SCREAMING CHILD!
SPEAKING OF WHICH, THAT GODDAMN LITTLE URCHIN
GAVE ME A POP YOU WOULDN'T BELIEVE.
KNUCKLE PUNCH RIGHT IN THE NOSE.
I ASKED YOU TO KEEP YOUR VOICE DOWN!
AND I TOLD YOU LAST NIGHT
YOU WERE ITCHING FOR IT,
BUYING THOSE TWO FOOD.
HOW THE HELL DID THEY END UP HERE?
I HIT HIM WITH MY CAR AGAIN.
EXACTLY WHAT TIME WERE YOU BORN YESTERDAY?
IT'S CRAZY, BUT IT'S TRUE.
DID IT EVER OCCUR TO YOU THAT THIS MONKEY
MIGHT BE THROWING HIMSELF IN FRONT OF YOUR CAR?
JIG'S UP, BILL.
YOU ARE AN EDUCATED WOMAN
IN A POSITION OF RESPONSIBILITY
IN MAJOR LAW FIRM MAKING A TREMENDOUS LIVING.
WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU?
WHAT POSSESSED YOU TO INVITE VAGABONDS INTO YOUR HOME?
I'M NOT STUPID!
I HAD MY BEDROOM DOOR LOCKED.
OH, GEE. THEN YOU WERE PERFECTLY SAFE.
I DIDN'T SENSE ANY DANGER.
IF I HAD, I WOULDN'T HAVE DONE IT.
NO DANGER?! I GOT SLUGGED TWICE IN 5 SECONDS!
THAT WAS AN ACCIDENT!
I'M SURE WHEN YOU GOT INTO BED,
YOU SCARED THE LIVING HELL OUT OF CURLY SUE.
CURLY SUE? OH, THAT'S CUTE.
WHAT IS SHE, THE LOST STOOGE?
LOOK, I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE HELL
IS GOING ON HERE,
AND I SURE CAN'T EXPLAIN IT
IN WORDS YOU'D UNDERSTAND.
ENGLISH, FRENCH, HEBREW, MANDARIN IT'D BE THE SAME.
YOU'RE NUTS! YOU'RE NUTS!
AND YOU'RE ABUSIVE!
AND INSENSITIVE! INSENSITIVE! INSENSITIVE!
DON'T GET HOLY WITH ME JUST BECAUSE YOU'VE ENDANGERED
YOUR LIFE FOR NO GODDAMN APPARENT REASON!
YOU CAN LET YOURSELF OUT.
OH, NO! I'M NOT LEAVING YOU HERE ALONE WITH THEM IN THE HOUSE.
NO WAY, BABE.
THEN SLEEP ON THE SOFA.
THE GUEST ROOMS ARE TAKEN!
HI.
AAH!
ANISE?
COULD YOU PLEASE CALL MY HOUSEKEEPER
AND LET HER KNOW I HAVE GUESTS SO SHE'S NOT ALARMED?
ALL RIGHT, JUST TO MAKE THIS FAIR,
MAKE SURE THERE'S NO SUSPICION,
I'M GOING TO ALLOW THE LITTLE LADY TO DEAL.
OK?
OK.
DEAL, HONEY.
THAT SEEMS FAIR.
SHUFFLE 'EM UP.
SHE'S GOTTEN BETTER.
OK.
WHY DON'T YOU DEAL?
I'M GONNA RAISE 10.
10. OK.
I'LL STAY. YOU TOOK HALF MY PAYCHECK ALREADY.
BUT IF YOU WIN,
I'LL WORK FOR YOU FOR A WEEK.
CRYBABIES NEVER WIN, LADY.
SHUT UP. YOU CAN BARELY SEE OVER THE TABLE.
I MAY NOT BE ABLE TO SEE OVER THE TABLE,
BUT I HAVE THE OTHER HALF OF YOUR PAYCHECK.
BILL?
IT'S THE MISSIS!
TRINA?
TRINA!
I'M HOME!
WHAT IS GOING ON?
OPEN THE DOOR, PLEASE!
TRINA!
OPEN THE DOOR!
WHY WAS THE DOOR LOCKED?
UM...THE CHILD MUST HAVE DONE IT.
OH.
YEAH.
HOW'S THE GENTLEMAN?
OH, HE'S REALLY SICK.
YEAH, HE'S REALLY...
I ONLY SAW HIM FOR A SECOND THIS MORNING.
I WENT IN THERE, AND HE WAS JUST...
OOH, GOD, HE'S, LIKE, ALL SWEATING AND EVERYTHING.
I JUST KEPT RUNNING BY THERE TODAY.
I WOULDN'T EVEN GO IN.
HE'D BE GROANING AND MAKING ALL SORTS OF NOISE.
KIND OF FREAKS ME OUT.
DO YOU SMOKE CIGARS?
YEAH.
I WISH YOU WOULDN'T IN MY HOME.
YEAH. I UNDERSTAND THAT.
THAT'S-- THAT'S REASONABLE.
SEE, I DON'T USUALLY SMOKE CIGARS,
IT WAS JUST THAT MY FRIEND HAD A BABY.
YOUR DAD SURE ATE A LOT
FOR SOMEONE WHO DOESN'T FEEL WELL.
WELL, HE'S LIKE A CAMEL WITH A HUMP.
YOU KNOW HOW CAMELS
KEEP FOOD AND WATER IN THEIR HUMPS?
ONLY HIS HUMP IS HIS STOMACH.
I'M SURE HE FEELS AWFUL,
BUT WHEN YOU GOT A CHANCE TO LOAD THE HUMP,
YOU LOAD THE HUMP. THAT'S OUR PHILOSOPHY.
YOU'RE A SMART LITTLE GIRL.
I'M VERY SMART.
I KNOW A LOT OF STUFF.
DO YOU KNOW HOW TO READ?
SURE. I CAN ALSO DO MATH
AND SPELL EXTREMELY LARGE WORDS.
LIKE ASPHYXIATE?
YEAH.
A-S-P-H-Y-X--
TRY A SMALL ONE.
EXCUSE ME?
SPELL "CAT."
I WILL LATER.
HOW ABOUT RIGHT NOW?
I CAN'T.
JUST AS I THOUGHT.
HI.
WHAT'S GOING ON?
WELL, I'M, UH...RECUPERATING.
KNOCK IT OFF.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH THAT LITTLE GIRL?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
HAS SHE EVER BEEN TO SCHOOL?
BRIEFLY, FROM TIME TO TIME.
SHE'S COMPLETELY IGNORANT.
SHE'S NOT IGNORANT.
SHE'S ILLITERATE.
THAT'S NOT IGNORANT.
YOU'RE USING HER, AREN'T YOU?
NO, MA'AM.
LIAR. YOU USE HER IN YOUR LITTLE CONS.
IT'S PATHETIC. IT'S CRIMINAL.
I GUESS IT'S TIME TO GO.
GO AHEAD. YOU'RE NOT TAKING HER.
YOU'RE GOING TO STOP ME?
THE POLICE WILL.
YOU'RE GOING TO CALL THE POLICE?
YOU'RE NOT TAKING HER OUT OF HERE.
YOU'RE LEAVING, AND SHE'S STAYING.
YOU DON'T KNOW A THING ABOUT THIS.
I KNOW NEGLECT WHEN I SEE IT.
SHE'S NOT NEGLECTED.
SHE'S ABUSED.
I AM VERY SERIOUS, MR. DANCER.
KISS MY ASS, LADY.
I'VE RAISED THAT KID FROM A BABY.
WE'VE BEAT WORSE THINGS
THAN SOME DO-GOOD HIGH-RISE LEGAL EAGLE
WITH A JONES FOR ARM'S LENGTH SOCIAL REFORM.
NOW STEP ASIDE BEFORE I THROW
YOUR PAMPERED ASS IN THE CLOSET.
YOU DON'T SCARE ME.
I GOT NOTHING TO LOSE BUT THAT KID.
YOU TRY TAKING THAT KID AWAY FROM ME,
I'M GOING TO KNOCK YOUR DAMN HEAD OFF.
IF YOU LOVE HER...
GIVE HER A CHANCE.
OK.
HOW?
HMM?
THE STATE OF ILLINOIS,
THEY KNOW WHAT'S RIGHT FOR HER?
SURE, THEY'LL TEACH HOW HER TO READ,
THEY'LL TEACH HER HOW TO BE A FREAK.
AND WHEN PEOPLE BITCH ABOUT WELFARE,
THEY'RE GONNA BE BITCHING ABOUT HER.
BILL, YOU CAN'T FEED HER.
YOU CAN'T CLOTHE HER.
HOW DO YOU KNOW SHE'S NOT GONNA FREEZE TO DEATH SOME NIGHT
OR GET BEAT UP OR KIDNAPPED?
WHAT IF SOMETHING HAPPENS TO YOU
AND SHE ENDS UP IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE?
I GET BY. I SURVIVE.
I'VE BEEN DOING IT HER WHOLE LIFE.
WHERE'S HER MOTHER?
SHE'S BURIED IN FLORIDA.
YOU WANT TO KNOW THE REST OF THE STORY?
I'M NOT HER FATHER.
I MET HER MOTHER ONE NIGHT IN A BAR.
SOME PEOPLE GET VD FROM A ONE-NIGHT STAND,
I GOT A BABY.
SHE KNOWS ALL ABOUT IT. WE GOT NO SECRETS.
IF THERE WAS ANOTHER LIFE FOR HER,
I'D CUT MY THROAT TO GIVE IT TO HER.
I DIDN'T COME IN HERE TO RUIN YOUR LIFE.
OUR PATHS CROSSED, AND YOU ENDED UP HERE.
YOU'RE RIGHT.
YOU GOT SCAMMED.
I GOT A KNOCK ON THE HEAD,
AND THE REST IS BULL.
I GOT A LOT OF TRICKS. I BEEN AT IT A LONG TIME.
YOU PLAY SOMETHING UNTIL IT'S OVER...
AND THIS IS OVER.
NO TEARS.
I MUST BE CRAZY.
STAY AS LONG AS YOU LIKE.
I'M SORRY.
YOU BETTER GO TO SLEEP.
DID BILL GIVE ME TO YOU?
NO.
HE'S ALWAYS LOOKING FOR SOMEBODY.
A FATHER ALWAYS LOOKS
FOR THE BEST LIFE HE CAN GIVE HIS CHILD.
THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH MY LIFE.
I DIDN'T MEAN THAT.
IT'S JUST THAT AS YOU GROW UP
AND BECOME A YOUNG LADY,
THERE ARE GOING TO BE, WELL...
THINGS...
AND SITUATIONS THAT WILL BE DIFFICULT FOR A MAN.
ALL THE STUFF THAT HAPPENS TO WOMEN,
I ALREADY KNOW.
THE BOOBS, THE KISSING, THE BABIES,
THE CRABBY TIME,
THE NOT WEARING LIPSTICK TILL YOU'RE 16,
THE UNDERWEAR BANK ROBBERS WEAR ON THEIR FACES.
THERE'S A LITTLE MORE TO IT THAN THAT.
HALF OF IT, I DON'T CARE FOR--
PINK DRESSES AND KITTENS,
SPENDING ALL THE TIME IN YOUR BATHROOM,
CRYING WHEN SOMETHING'S REAL CUTE
FRANKLY MAKES ME LOSE MY BELLY.
WELL...
YOU'RE A VERY SMART LITTLE GIRL
WHO KNOWS HERSELF VERY WELL.
BUT I PROMISE YOU, THERE WILL COME A TIME
WHEN YOU'LL WISH YOU HAD A WOMAN TO TALK TO.
I DOUBT IT.
OK.
WELL...
WE TALKED ABOUT IT,
AND, UM, YOU CAN THINK ABOUT IT.
AND IF YOU FEEL YOU HAVE THE NEED TO DISCUSS IT...
BILL WILL TAKE CARE OF IT.
OH.
WELL, BETTER GET SOME SLEEP.
WELL...
GOOD NIGHT.
DO YOU MIND IF I WATCH TV FOR A WHILE?
FOR A LITTLE WHILE.
[DUDLEY DO-RIGHT THEME PLAYS]
DID YOU SEE BILL THIS MORNING?
NOPE.
WHAT TIME DID YOU GET UP?
IT WAS STILL DARK.
WHAT'S WRONG?
HE'S GONE.
DID HE LEAVE A NOTE?
NO.
DID HE LEAVE A RING?
A LITTLE ONE?
NO.
THEN HE'LL BE BACK.
I HOPE YOU KNOW YOU'RE MAKING ME MIFLIPPER.
YOU GOT TO WORK.
IF YOU DON'T GO TO SCHOOL, YOU HAVE TO WORK.
EVERYBODY'S GOT TO DO SOMETHING WHEN THEY GET BIG.
I'M NOT GONNA BE A BATHTUB WASHER.
OH, WELL, REALLY? WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO BE, THEN?
MAYBE A LAWYER.
YOU KNOW HOW LONG YOU HAVE TO GO TO SCHOOL TO BE A LAWYER?
HOW LONG?
20 YEARS.
SLAP MY BUTT. NO WAY.
DO YOU WANT TO SAVE YOUR MARRIAGE?
WHAT ABOUT THE PICTURES AND THE TAPE RECORDINGS?
IT'S TERRIBLE, IT'S DISGUSTING,
BUT BEFORE WE GO ON, I NEED TO KNOW.
DO YOU WANT TO LEAVE HIM?
THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT.
WELL, LET'S WORK ON THAT.
ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?
YOU SEEM A LITTLE...
NICE.
THANKS.
HOW WAS YOUR DAY?
TOTAL PISSER.
I'M TOO TIRED TO LECTURE YOU
ABOUT USING THAT KIND OF LANGUAGE.
SORRY. IT SLIPPED OUT.
DID BILL CALL?
NOPE.
SHOULDN'T HE BE HOME BY NOW?
[DOOR OPENS]
HELLO?
HI.
GUESS WHAT.
I GOT A JOB.
OH...
GREAT.
YEAH. IT'S NOT A GREAT JOB,
BUT IT'S WORK.
I GET MY FIRST PAYCHECK IN A WEEK.
I HAVEN'T DONE THAT IN A LONG TIME.
WELL, I'M VERY PROUD OF YOU.
YEAH?
WELL, IT WAS NO BIG DEAL, REALLY,
BUT IT JUST FEELS BETTER TO BE WORKING, YOU KNOW?
I KNOW.
HEY, WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM?
YOU.
SHE DOESN'T TAKE TO CHANGE VERY WELL.
SHE'LL BE ALL RIGHT.
MAY I HELP YOU?
MAY WE HELP YOU?
OHH...
I FEEL LIKE AN IDIOT.
YOU LOOK VERY PRETTY.
VERY, VERY...
WHERE ARE THE SHOES I GAVE YOU?
SHE'S GOT NICE HAIR.
THESE?
MM-HMM.
THESE TIGHTS ITCH.
PANTS. WHAT ARE THESE?
THESE THINGS STICK TO YOUR BUTT.
BILL?
IS EVERYTHING ALL RIGHT?
I FEEL LIKE A GODDAMN FOOL.
CAN IT BE THAT BAD?
[SIGHS]
YOU LOOK GREAT!
THINK SO?
WOW.
OH--UH--YOU...
YOU'VE GOT A TAG ON YOUR...
OH.
OHH.
YOU DON'T NEED IT.
I NEED IT FOR SUE.
SHE GETS A RUNNY NOSE.
YOU LOOK REALLY PRETTY.
THANK YOU.
SO, UH... YOU HUNGRY?
YEAH. LET'S EAT.
I HATE THIS.
THIS LOBSTER'S GOOD.
IT'S DELICIOUS.
OHH, GOOD EVENING.
[SPEAKING GERMAN]
KISS, KISS.
MMM... MMM...
THESE ARE MY FRIENDS.
WILLIAM DANCER AND HIS DAUGHTER SUSAN.
AHH...
OHH...
WHAT A LOVELY LITTLE GIRL YOU ARE.
MAY I?
MAY YOU WHAT?
KISS YOUR CHEEK.
IN A PIG'S EYE.
IN A PIG'S EYE?
GOOD EVENING.
WE'VE MET.
YES. BILL DANCER, CHAIRMAN OF THE BOARD,
FIRST ILLINOIS STATE BANK.
VERY POWERFUL MAN.
NO.
NO?
CITY ORDINANCE, TITLE 2, CHAPTER 160,
SECTION 010. RING A BELL?
OH, MY GOD.
TAKE MY COAT.
THIS WAS A JOKE, YES?
IT WAS A JOKE?
A LITTLE FUNNY, NO?
HANG OUR COATS.
AND TO BE ENTIRELY HONEST WITH YOU,
YOU SMELLED QUITE BAD.
YOU SEE, THE OTHER DAY,
THERE WASN'T ALL THAT MANY OPTIONS FOR--
YOUR TABLE IS RIGHT THIS WAY.
WHEN YOU SUGGESTED DINNER,
I DIDN'T REALIZE YOU WERE BRINGING THE KIDS.
I THOUGHT IT'D BE A NICE SURPRISE.
YOU SUCCEEDED MIGHTILY.
YOU REMEMBER WALKER.
YES... GOOD EVENING.
YOU'LL PARDON MY INCREDULITY.
I PRESUMED YOU'D BE GONE BY NOW.
I'M NOT.
YOU LOOK LIKE YOU GOT HIT
BY A RAZOR AND A BAR OF SOAP.
[SNAPS FINGERS] SCOTCH AND SODA.
Waiter: RIGHT AWAY, SIR.
WHERE DID YOU GET THE SPIFFY NEW DUDS?
FROM ME.
BOY, YOU TWO HAVE HIT THE JACKPOT.
HOW'S THE GRUB?
UH...
YOU WERE LATE, AND SUSAN GOT HUNGRY.
SO WE WENT AHEAD AND ORDERED.
OH.
I'M SUDDENLY NOT VERY HUNGRY.
WHAT DID YOU ORDER? BEANS?
I THINK IT'S TIME WE CALL IT AN EVENING.
NO. IT'S--IT'S FINE.
NO, IT'S NOT.
I'M NOT GOING TO EAT THIS,
AND I'M NOT GOING TO TAKE THAT.
COME ON, SUE.
THIS TIME, KEEP GOING.
SIT DOWN.
YOU HAD NO RIGHT TO DO THAT.
TOLD YOU THIS WAS A BAD IDEA.
IT'S NO FUN BEING SOMEBODY'S TOYS,
AND THAT'S WHAT WE ARE.
I'M ASHAMED OF US.
DON'T EVER SAY THAT.
WELL, EXCUSE ME, BUT I AM.
WHY DON'T YOU TELL ME WHAT'S GOING ON?
I DON'T SEE YOU FOR A COUPLE OF DAYS,
AND YOU'RE PLAYING DRESS-UP WITH THEM.
YOU'RE SERIOUS ABOUT THIS?
HOW DID YOU GET TO BE A LAWYER?
YOU SEND IN A COUPLE OF BUCKS
AND A LABEL FROM A BOX OF FROSTED FLAKES?
OH! GOOD NIGHT!
BILL!
BILL, COME ON.
HUSH UP.
I'M SO SORRY.
WELL, GOOD.
IT'S NOT GOING TO DO US ANY GOOD.
IT'S TOO LATE. WE'RE OFFENDED.
JUST KNOCK IT OFF, ALL RIGHT?
JUST KNOCK IT OFF.
WALKER'S AN ASS.
IF YOU TOOK ANYTHING HE SAID TO HEART,
YOU'RE JUST AS BIG AN ASS AS HE IS.
WELL, THIS THING'S A JOKE, YOU KNOW THAT?
THE WHOLE THING'S A JOKE.
THE COAT, THE GLOVES, EVERYTHING.
IT'S NOT DOING ANY OF US ANY GOOD.
DO YOU GET IT?
YOU SEE WHAT I'M SAYING?
BILL, WHERE ARE YOU GOING TO GO?
I'M GOING TO GO. WE'RE GOING TO BE FINE.
WE'VE NEVER HAD A PROBLEM FINDING A PLACE TO STAY,
ALL RIGHT?
GO BACK THERE. WE'LL GO THIS WAY.
WE'LL BE JUST FINE.
I DON'T WANT YOU TO LEAVE.
I'LL TELL YOU ONE THING--
WE'RE NOT GOING BACK
INTO THAT STUCK-UP HASH HOUSE.
ME, EITHER!
LET'S GO SOMEWHERE ELSE. ANYWHERE. YOUR CHOICE.
HOW ABOUT IF WE TAKE YOU OUT?
BILL, YOU DON'T HAVE ANY MONEY.
WE DON'T NEED MONEY.
IT NEVER STOPPED US BEFORE.
OK.
Bill: COME ON.
A TOAST...
TO TIFFANY AND ADAM.
HEALTH...WEALTH... AND HAPPINESS.
[SPEAKING ITALIAN]
[TAPS GLASS WITH SPOON]
THANK YOU. THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
IT'S OK. HE DOES IT ALL THE TIME.
I'D LIKE TO MAKE A TOAST...
HE'S A PRO.
TO THE BRIDE AND GROOM...
TIFFANY AND ADAM.
MAY YOU ALWAYS HAVE A PASSION FOR LIFE...
AND MAY YOUR LIFE BE FILLED WITH PASSION.
NOW MY WIFE DORIS WOULD LIKE TO SAY SOMETHING.
DORIS?
HMM?
WOULD YOU LIKE TO SAY A FEW WORDS TO THE BRIDE AND GROOM?
OH, I COULDN'T.
DORIS? FOR ADAM AND TIFFANY, PLEASE.
SHE HAS A FEW THINGS TO SAY, DON'T YOU, DORIS?
COME ON. STAND UP AND SAY SOMETHING.
WELL...
WELL, I, UM...
FIRST OF ALL, IT'S JUST SO GOOD TO BE HERE.
YOU KNOW,
IT'S JUST SUCH A, UH, GREAT EVENT.
AND, UM...
AND IT'S... I CAN HARDLY REMEMBER
THE LAST TIME I SAW...
LITTLE TIFFANY WHEN SHE WAS JUST...THAT BIG.
BUT NOW SHE'S...
ABOUT HERE.
I GUESS IT WAS, UM...
AT, UM...
OUR WEDDING IN VEGAS.
WE, UH, OUR WEDDING IN VEGAS.
OF COURSE, IT WAS A BEAUTIFUL WEDDING,
BUT NOTHING LIKE THIS.
OH, BOY...
VERY WELL PUT. THANK YOU.
SALUT.
All: SALUT.
ENJOY THE SHOW, MA'AM.
HI.
COLD OUT THERE.
OH, BOY.
OK, TICKETS, SIR?
I HAD THEM. DIDN'T I HAVE THEM?
YOU'RE HOLDING UP THE LINE HERE.
WHY DON'T YOU STEP TO THE SIDE?
NO, I GOT THEM.
MAYBE YOU DROPPED THEM.
OH, EXCUSE ME. I'M SORRY.
COME RIGHT THROUGH HERE.
DID I GIVE YOU THE TICKETS?
NO. NO, YOU DIDN'T GIVE THEM TO ME.
HI THERE.
I'M SORRY. MAYBE WE DROPPED THEM OUTSIDE.
WHAT SHOULD WE DO?
GO BACK TO THE BOX OFFICE, SIR.
I MEAN, THEY CAN HELP YOU OUT THERE.
OH. GREAT. THANK YOU.
GO BY THE BOX OFFICE, OK?
THERE WE ARE.
[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
[AIRPLANE ENGINE]
[TRAIN WHISTLE]
[AIRPLANE ENGINE]
[HORN HONKING]
[CAR WHIZZES BY]
What?
Where'd you get the popcorn?
THIRSTY?
GREY?
THANKS.
OH, THANKS.
[LOONEY TUNES CLOSING THEME PLAYS]
THIS IS GREAT!
WHOO!
[PLAYING YOU'RE NOBODY TILL SOMEBODY LOVES YOU]
COME HERE.
¶ SO FIND YOURSELF SOMEBODY TO LOVE ¶
¶ YOU'RE NOBODY¶
¶ TILL SOMEBODY LOVES YOU ¶
[PLAYS HIGH NOTES]
¶ YOU MAY BE KING ¶
¶ YOU MAY POSSESS ¶
¶ THE WORLD AND ITS GOLD ¶
¶ WHEN YOU'RE GROWIN' OLD ¶
¶ THE WORLD IS STILL THE SAME ¶
¶ YOU'LL NEVER CHANGE IT ¶
Curly Sue: ¶ AS SURE AS THE STARS SHINE ABOVE ¶
¶ YOU'RE NOBODY ¶
¶ TILL SOMEBODY LOVES YOU ¶
¶ SO FIND YOURSELF SOMEBODY ¶
¶ TO LOVE ¶
CHICAGO.
DEPARTMENT OF CHILDREN AND FAMILY SERVICES.
ABUSE AND NEGLECT.
Anise: GREY! GREY!
GOOD MORNING.
BERNIE, WHAT A PLEASANT SURPRISE.
DID WE HAVE A MEETING?
I'VE STOPPED TRYING TO ARRANGE
MEETINGS WITH YOU, GREY.
YOU'RE NEVER IN.
THAT'S NOT TRUE.
OBVIOUSLY SOMETHING'S BOTHERING YOU.
SERIOUSLY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
EVERY TIME I'VE CALLED DOWN HERE
THE LAST COUPLE OF DAYS, YOU'RE NOT IN.
I'VE HAD SOME PERSONAL BUSINESS TO ATTEND TO.
I DON'T KNOW IF YOUR PERSONAL BUSINESS
OR THE TIME IT'S TAKEN AWAY FROM YOUR WORK
HAS ANYTHING TO DO WITH THIS,
BUT YOU'VE GOT THIS ARNOLD DIVORCE ALL SCREWED UP.
NOTHING'S SCREWED UP.
I TOLD HER TO GO BACK TO HER HUSBAND.
SHE DID.
SO WHAT'S THE PROBLEM?
HE WANTED HER OUT.
THAT'S WHY I TOLD YOU TO GO EASY.
HE WANTED OUT,
BUT HE DIDN'T WANT TO GIVE UP EVERYTHING.
WELL, I GUESS IT'S HIS TOUGH LUCK.
YOU HAVE PHOTOGRAPHS OF FRANK ARNOLD?
I'LL SAY.
DESTROY THEM.
NO.
NOT IF HE'S GOING TO SCREW HER
OUT OF WHAT SHE'S ENTITLED TO.
DESTROY THEM.
NO OPPOSITION ON THIS.
HE WANTS THE GROUNDS. HE WANTS THE KIDS.
AND TRY SPENDING A LITTLE MORE TIME IN THE OFFICE.
[TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWS]
[DOORBELL CHIMES]
ARE YOU SUSAN DANCER?
[CHUCKLING]
HIYA, PIGEON.
YOU'RE LOOKING SHARP.
HUH? [PRISONERS YELLING]
I CAN'T TALK.
WHERE'S THE RING?
TELL ME WHERE THE RING IS.
I--I PAWNED IT.
OGDEN AND MADISON.
THIS SITUATION IS TOTALLY UNNECESSARY.
I'M AN ATTORNEY.
THE CHILD WAS IN MY CARE, IN MY HOME.
HER NEEDS WERE BEING MET.
THERE WAS ABSOLUTELY NO GOOD REASON
TO TAKE HER AWAY.
MA'AM, YOU AREN'T A LEGAL GUARDIAN.
SHE CAN'T POSSIBLY UNDERSTAND
WHAT'S HAPPENING TO HER.
SHE'S IN PROTECTIVE CUSTODY.
SHE'S BEING PROPERLY CARED FOR.
WITHIN 48 URS,
A SHELTER CARE HEARING WILL BE CALLED IN JUVENILE COURT.
YOU'RE WELCOME TO ATTEND.
I LOVE THIS LITTLE GIRL.
IT'S UNDERSTANDABLE, BUT...
FROM MY POSITION, IT'S COMPLETELY IRRELEVANT.
YO, DANCER...
YOU OUT OF HERE.
YOUR LAWYER JUST POSTED BOND FOR YOU.
YOU GOT A CUTE LAWYER, TOO.
DID YOU EVER GET
THOSE PLANTAR'S WARTS TAKEN CARE OF?
MY AUNT BERNICE HAD HERS CUT OUT.
FRANK ARNOLD.
SHH. PUNKIN, I'M ON THE PHONE.
YOU KNOW, THEY'RE SO SENSITIVE.
MY AUNT BERNICE HAD THOSE.
WHEN THE SCHNAUZER STEPPED ON HER FOOT,
I THOUGHT SHE'D GO THROUGH THE CEILING.
IS HE IN? YES OR NO?
WELL, YOU HAVE A SEAT AND LET ME FINISH MY CALL
AND THEN I'LL TELL YOU.
YOU COULD TRY THOSE AIR-PILLOW INSOLES.
OR MAYBE THE WATER KIND. YOU PUT THEM IN THE FRIDGE,
AND IT JUST FREEZES YOUR FOOT.
I REALLY NEED TO SEE HIM.
WELL, ISN'T THAT A PITY?
HE HAS A MEETING IN ABOUT 5 MINUTES.
I'M SORRY. HE HAS A MEETING RIGHT NOW.
OH! OH! I'LL CALL YOU RIGHT BACK.
SO IF YOU WANT TO KEEP DOING BUSINESS WITH THE CITY...
MISSY! MISSY!
WHAT THE HELL?
I'M GREY ALLISON, YOUR WIFE'S ATTORNEY.
I'LL GET BACK TO YOU.
WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE, BUSTING IN HERE LIKE THIS?
I'M IN A HURRY.
JESUS CHRIST, LADY, SO AM I.
MR. ARNOLD, YOUR WIFE LOVES YOU. SHE WANTS YOU BACK.
I KNOW FROM OTHER SOURCES YOU DON'T WANT HER BACK.
I'D LIKE YOU TO WORK IT OUT, AND I'D LIKE A FAVOR FROM YOU.
WHAT, ARE YOU NUTS?
I GOT A LIST OF NAMES AND SOME PRETTY RACY PHOTOS
OF A CERTAIN CITY OFFICIAL IN A BLUE SPEEDO.
I DON'T WANT TO BE A BITCH,
BUT I HAVE A PROBLEM, AND I NEED SOME STRINGS PULLED.
YOU NEVER DESTROYED THOSE PHOTOGRAPHS, DID YOU?
YOU TOOK THEM OVER TO FRANK ARNOLD
SO HE COULD PULL THE STRINGS OVER AT THE DCFS.
YOU LEARNED A FEW TRICKS FROM THE OLD MASTER, DIDN'T YOU?
BERNIE, I WANT YOU TO BUY ME OUT.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW MANY PEOPLE WOULD KILL
FOR WHAT YOU'VE ACHIEVED IN SUCH A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME?
YOU GOT A PARTNERSHIP,
A CORNER OFFICE BIG ENOUGH TO PLAY BASKETBALL IN.
WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO GIVE IT UP FOR? LOVE?
YOU GOT YOUR VALUE SYSTEM ALL SCREWED UP
SOMEWHERE ALONG THE LINE.
I THINK IT WAS SCREWED UP BEFORE.
I GOT TO ADMIT...
YOU'RE THE LAST ONE I WOULD HAVE EVER THOUGHT
WOULD GO QUALITY-OF-LIFE ON ME.
[DISENGAGES CAR ALARM]
HONEY...
GREY, I THINK YOU OWE ME AN EXPLANATION.
I DON'T OWE YOU ANYTHING!
4 YEARS WE WERE TOGETHER.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN ANYTHING?
AT THE VERY LEAST, AFTER THE WAY YOU'VE BEHAVED,
YOU OWE ME AN APOLOGY.
DID YOU TURN IN MY FRIEND AND HIS DAUGHTER?
WHAT MAKES YOU THINK THAT?
DID YOU?
IF THERE'S NOTHING TO HIDE,
IT'S JUST A CONCERNED PHONE CALL.
YES OR NO?
WHAT DIFFERENCE DOES IT MAKE?
JUST ANSWER ME!
YES.
I THOUGHT SO.
GREY...
UP YOURS!
GREY?
GREY!
WAIT--GREY!
STOP THE CAR!
GREY! GREY!
GREY!
[HORN HONKS]
[BRAKES SQUEAL]
WHOA! GREY!
GREY! OH, MY GOD!
GREY!
OWWW!
THERE IT IS.
THAT'S IT.
THEY CUT MY HAIR.
LET'S GET OUT OF HERE, OK?
OK.
[TRAIN WHISTLE]
Curly Sue: AM I OUT OF THIS JAM FOR GOOD?
ALMOST. THEY HAVE TO RUN A CHECK ON YOUR FAMILY.
THAT'S EASY. THERE ISN'T ANY.
THEN THEY'LL RUN A CHECK ON ME,
AND IF EVERYTHING MEETS WITH THEIR APPROVAL,
I'LL GET TEMPORARY CUSTODY.
AND THEN, WITH YOUR PERMISSION,
WE'LL START THE ADOPTION PROCEEDINGS.
WHAT'S BILL SAY?
HE CAN'T ADOPT YOU, HONEY. NOT NOW, ANYWAY.
BECAUSE HE'S SHIFTLESS.
IT'S MORE COMPLICATED THAN THAT.
BUT, ANYWAY, IT DOESN'T MATTER,
BECAUSE I'LL HAVE YOU, AND HE'LL BE WITH ME.
HOW COME HE DIDN'T COME WITH YOU?
HE HAD TO WORK.
YOU KNOW THAT FOR SURE?
THAT'S WHAT HE SAID. WHY?
YOU DON'T GOT TO BE A GENIUS TO FIGURE IT OUT.
HE GOT ME A MOTHER, DIDN'T HE?
HE CAN LEAVE ANYTIME HE WANTS NOW.
BILL?
I CAN'T READ IT.
IT SAYS...
"I'M IN THE LIVING ROOM."
HI.
COME HERE.
NOW, LOOK...
NO SWEARING,
NO GAMBLING, NO SPITTING, NO PUNCHING, AND NO KICKING.
PUT A SOCK IN IT. I KNOW WHAT I'M DOING.
DO YOU WANT US TO WALK YOU INSIDE?
NO, I GOT IT, BUT THANKS FOR ASKING.
ALL RIGHT, GIVE US A KISS.
PLEASE. WE'RE IN PUBLIC.
[BELL RINGS]
GOOD LUCK.
¶ LIFE GOES ON ¶
¶ NO ONE GETS REHEARSAL ¶
¶ LIFE GOES ON ¶
¶ THROUGH EVERYDAY REVERSAL ¶
¶ WITH EVERY DAWN ¶
¶ EVERY DAY IS FULL OF CHANCES ¶
¶ TO FIND SOME GOOD BEFORE IT'S GONE ¶
¶ YOU NEVER KNOW ¶
¶ WHICH WAY A DAY IS GONNA TAKE YOU ¶
¶ THERE'S ALWAYS SOME SURPRISE ¶
¶ THAT COMES ALONG TO SHAKE YOU ¶
¶ A SIMPLE RULE OF THUMB ¶
¶ THAT'S OFTEN BEEN NEGLECTED ¶
¶ IS TAKE LIFE AS IT COMES ¶
¶ EXPECT THE UNEXPECTED ¶
¶ YOU NEVER SEE ¶
¶ EXACTLY WHERE THE ROAD WILL LEAD YOU ¶
¶ AND WHEN IT COMES TO LOVE ¶
¶ YOU GAMBLE WHEN YOU NEED TO ¶
¶ YOU'LL MAYBE BREAK YOUR HEART ¶
¶ ON ONE UNLUCKY THROW ¶
¶ BUT THEN AGAIN, YOU NEVER KNOW ¶
¶ WHO KNOWS WHY ¶
¶ ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN ¶
¶ A CLOUDY SKY ¶
¶ CAN SUDDENLY BREAK OPEN ¶
¶ BEFORE YOUR EYES ¶
¶ THERE'S THE SMILING FACE OF SUMMER ¶
¶ CHASING ALL THE RAIN AWAY ¶
¶ YOU NEVER KNOW ¶
¶ WHICH WAY A DAY IS GONNA TAKE YOU ¶
¶ THERE'S ALWAYS SOME SURPRISE ¶
¶ THAT COMES ALONG TO SHAKE YOU ¶
¶ A SIMPLE RULE OF THUMB ¶
¶ THAT'S OFTEN BEEN NEGLECTED ¶
¶ IS TAKE LIFE AS IT COMES ¶
¶ EXPECT THE UNEXPECTED ¶
¶ YOU NEVER SEE ¶
¶ EXACTLY WHERE THE ROAD WILL LEAD YOU ¶
¶ AND WHEN IT COMES TO LOVE ¶
¶ YOU GAMBLE WHEN YOU NEED TO ¶
¶ YOU'LL MAYBE BREAK YOUR HEART ¶
¶ ON ONE UNLUCKY THROW ¶
¶ BUT THEN AGAIN, YOU NEVER KNOW ¶
¶ A SIMPLE RULE OF THUMB ¶
¶ THAT'S OFTEN BEEN NEGLECTED ¶
¶ IS TAKE LIFE AS IT COMES ¶
¶ EXPECT THE UNEXPECTED ¶
¶ I NEVER SAW ¶
¶ EXACTLY WHERE THE ROAD WOULD LEAD ME ¶
¶ ONE DAY I WOKE ¶
¶ TO FIND SOMEBODY NEEDS ME ¶
¶ I THOUGHT I'D TAKEN LUCK ¶
¶ AS FAR AS IT WOULD GO ¶
¶ BUT THEN AGAIN ¶
¶ YOU NEVER KNOW ¶
CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY WARNER BROS.
CAPTIONING PERFORMED BY THE NATIONAL CAPTIONING INSTITUTE, INC.