震撼性教育
现在发生的事只与我们
What's happening right now is important only in the context...
人类的继续进化有关
of our continuing evolution as a species.
罗杰, 我是说我妹妹 应该学会看地铁示意图
Roger, all I'm saying is that I wish my sister would learn to read a subway map.
你那样说是忽略了
By saying that, you disregard the primary importance...
人类之间关系的重要性
of utility in human relationships.
我们的能力-- 男人的能力: 看地图...
Our ability-- Men's ability to read maps...
航海，使得我们有用
你该让你妹妹看都不看它
to navigate, makes us useful.
You should discourage your sister from even looking at a map.
你是说我们女人方向感差?
Are you saying that we women have an inferior sense of direction?
哪边是北, 乔伊斯？不要四下看
Which way is north,Joyce, without looking around?
什么?
What?
你听到了的。指指北 快，北
You heard me. Point north. Quick. North.
快，北
Quick. North.
北，北
North. North.
- 你对了. - 他对了?
- You're right. - Is he right?
- 他对了 - 印象深刻
- He's right. - Very impressive.
这是由于女人在历史上
As she has throughout history...
对表现出色的男人的依赖造成的
the female responds to the male who displays the most utility.
通过不停地珩磨这些使我露脸的技术
By honing those skills which make me useful...
阻止了我必然的退化
I stave off my inevitable obsolescence.
是你呆在家里珩磨录像机吧？
You stay home honing your ability to program a VCR?
我的录像机三年来每天开12小时
My VCR's been flashing 1 2:00 for three years.
还有什么, 罗杰?
What else, Roger?
呃, 开车上下班 举重物
Oh, driving a standard shift. Lifting heavy things.
- 举吉他 - 对，对
- Air guitar. - Yes, yes.
尽管笑吧
Go ahead and chuckle, okay?
但在女人进化了移物的感应能力之前
But until women evolve the ability to move objects telepathically--
体力仍是主要的
and they will--
physical strength remains a primary utility.
这就是用蛮力
Here's to brute strength then.
罗杰, 你忘了男人的一个重要作用
Roger, you're forgetting a very important male utility.
是什么? 野餐?
What's that? Barbecuing?
性
对，我需要一个不光知道玩录像机的男人
Sex.
Yeah. I want a guy to do more than just program my VCR.
噢，我会帮你调录像机 好象你从没调过
Oh, I'll program your VCR, baby, like you never had it.
它是顶装的，你会调吗?
It's a top-loader. You thinkyou can handle that?
有趣，英格兰的一些科学家
Interestingly, a group of scientists in England...
刚宣布了他们想使鸡蛋受精...
just announced their intention to fertilize an egg...
而不用精子细胞
without the use of sperm cells.
我不明白
I don't understand that.
人类的每个细胞里 都有一个基因组的复本
Every cell in the human body contains a copy of the genome pattern.
使得精子细胞倍受关注的原因是 到现在为止
The only reason sperm cells have all the fun is that up until now...
只有他们掌握了此技术
they were the only ones with access.
克里斯多佛的一生中，人工受孕...
Within Christopher's lifetime, artificial insemination...
使得精子就象底特律装配线上的工人一样没用
will render sperm as useless as an assembly line worker in Detroit.
幸运的是，我的会计师在几年前 就为我建了精子金伞
Luckily, my accountant set up a golden parachute for my sperm years ago.
防止它们变小
In case they were downsized.
如你所知, 罗杰, 你知道我们女人...
Just so you know, Roger, you know that we women...
做爱是因为我们喜欢
make love because we like it.
- 不只为养儿育女 - 是的
- Not just to procreate. - Yes.
- 但男人是不可或缺的吗? - 我不知道
- But are men absolutely necessary? - I don't know that.
想想女人的生殖器结构
Think of the structure of the female genitalia.
等等，等等 好了，明白了
Wait. Wait. Okay, got it.
阴道里最敏感的是哪里呢?
What is the most sensitive part of the vagina?
- 不敢相信我们谈起了这个 - 我认为你知道, 多诺万
-I can't believe we've gotten into this. -I thinkyou know this, Donovan.
是阴蒂，哥伦布·里纳多斯在1559年首次发现
It's the clitoris, first discovered by Renaldus Columbus in 1 559.
他原以为是印度
He thought it was India.
噢, 别别!
Oh, no No!
阴蒂顶端有8千个神经纤维
The crown of the clitoris contains 8,000 nerve fibers.
比男人身上任何部分都多
It's a far great concentration than in any part of the male body...
甚至我们的指尖
even our fingertips.
它是大自然创造的 最最有效的
It is the most efficient, pleasure-delivery system...
愉悦传递系统
ever devised by nature.
那好, 问问你自己...
Now, ask yourself...
为什么阴蒂在阴道里面...
why didn't the clitoris end up inside the vagina...
是为了使性交自然地...
so that intercourse would be naturally...
不自觉地, 给女人带来不断的愉悦?
compellingly, constantly pleasurable for a woman?
- 我知道答案 - 你说, 梅纳德女士
- I know the answer. - Yes, Ms. Maynard.
因为在原始时期，女人死于生产
Because in primitive time, women died of childbirth.
所以若性交过于愉悦...
So for intercourse to be too pleasurable...
就会与达尔文的观点相左
wouldn't make sense from a Darwinian standpoint.
- 印象深刻 - 太对了
- I'm impressed. - Absolutely right.
- 我们得到什么结论呢? - 进化对女人有利?
- What does that tell us? - Evolution is looking out for us girls?
- 正确 - 对女人而言...
- Exactly. - That for women...
性交和性体验(?intercourse and sexual fulfillment) 从来都是两回事
intercourse and sexual fulfillment were never intended to intersect.
新的技术使它实现
New technology just makes it official.
未来的女性将进化阴蒂-- "clitori, clitorati"--
Future generations ofwomen will evolve clitorises-- "clitori, clitorati"--
"Clitorissimo."
使它更大、更长、更敏感
that are larger, longer, even more sensitive.
女人的能力，包括她自慰的欲望...
And a woman's ability, as well as her desire to self-stimulate...
将会呈指数增长...
will increase exponentially...
因为性交已与生殖无关
as intercourse is robbed of its procreative utility.
- 我是又困惑又吃惊 - 你该当如此
- I'm confused and frightened. - You should be.
物种不是静止的 我们一直处在变化中
The species is not static. We're in a constant state of flux.
两性的存在只有一个原因:
Two genders has been the default setting for one reason only:
到目前为止，它是繁殖后代的唯一方法
So far it's been the only way to propagate the race.
有没有只有单性的物种呢...
Is there any species that just has one gender...
它没有雌雄之分?
that doesn't have male/female?
海星是一个例子
Starfish, for one.
下次看到海星时 我会让他操他自己
Next time I see a starfish, I'm gonna tell him to go fuck himself.
好了，你喜欢的
Come on. You love it.
不，我们不喜欢
No, we don't.
我们说明了什么呢?
So where are we headed?
平等? 平等, 它是什么?
Equality? Equality, what is that?
它是自然法则吗?
Is that a principle of nature?
我们坐在一起看地铁示意图
We all sit around reading subway maps together.
不，当然不 物竞天择
No. Of course not. Natural selection.
这才是自然法则
Now that is a principle of nature.
选择. 有些需要丢弃，有些要失败...
Selection. Something has to lose. Something has to be defeated...
为了另外的一些被选择
in order for something else to be selected.
那, 这是什么含义呢?
So, what does this mean?
我们的后半生必须听从乔伊斯的命令
We have to take orders from Joyce for the rest of lives.
对了，我喜欢
That's right. I like that.
这说明从现在起，10或15代人
It means that 1 0 or 1 5 generations from now...
男人将处于被奴役状态
men will be reduced to servitude.
科技和进化将使得
Technology and evolution will have combined...
精子被排斥在生殖之外
to exclude sperm from procreation...
我们最终的命运将是搬重物
and our final destiny will be to lift couches...
等待心灵感应战胜地球引力的那一天
and wait for that day when telepathy overcomes gravity...
男人最后的用处也永远失去
and our gender's last remaining utility is lost forever.
永远
Forever.
噢, 上帝, 罗杰
Oh, my God, Roger.
- 什么? 我完了 - 那我的报告结束
- What? I'm done. - Then I rest my case.
谢谢
Thank you.
我爱你们
Love you people.
好了, 就停这里
Yeah, this is good.
- 天哪(耶稣基督)! - 不，是我
-Jesus! - No, just me.
你怎么进来的?
How did you get in here?
- 你从哪里拿到的? - 用你的复制的
- Where did you get those? - Copied them from yours.
- 何时? - 上星期你派我去买百吉饼
- When? - Last week when you sent me for bagels.
给我吧
Give them to me.
不停地打扰我你不烦吗?
Aren't you tired of constantly having to buzz me in here?
你脑子怎么了？ 一周一次怎么变成了“不停地”?
See how your brain works? How does once a week turn into "constantly"?
事实上，上星期是两次 包括星期五...
Actually, last week was two times, including, I believe, Friday...
你把我从沉沉的甜美的梦中叫醒 还要求使用我的身体
when you woke me out of a dead, pleasant sleep and demanded the use of my body.
- 你可以说不 - 什么? 开我的玩笑?
- You could have said no. - What? Are you kidding me?
那是行动指令
That was a call to action.
我在30秒内穿好衣服 就象是自愿救火员
I dressed in 30 seconds like a volunteer fireman.
我发疯似地--
你应该停下来听我说 我有事要告诉你
I was insane--
You should stop talking and listen to me. I got something to say to you.
是吗?
Oh, yeah?
- 是关于我的股票, 乔伊斯 - 我知道
- Words are my stock-in-trade,Joyce. - I know.
你不能关上水闸
You can't just stop up the floodgate.
- 放下 - 什么?
- Put that down. - What?
- 我们该停止了 - 停止什么?
- We need to stop this. - Stop what?
上帝, 我喜欢在盥洗室看着你
God, I love watching you in the bathroom.
你就象赛后的运动员 卸下盛装
You're like an athlete after the game, scraping off the war paint.
我是说, 我们停止见面
I meant, we need to stop seeing each other.
真的?
Oh, really?
整个事情是错的
This whole thing was a bad idea.
通常，我有很好的判断力 这次，却跑到窗外去了
Generally, I have good judgment, but this time, right out the window.
这件事没有错 没人知道我们
This whole thing is a great idea. Nobody knows about us.
我们一起出去, 我坐在那里...
We all go out, I sit there and...
你知道, 几个小时后...
you know, a few hours later...
我就是旅行推销员...
I know I'm going to be the traveling salesman...
你就是寂寞的家庭主妇
and you're going to be the lonely housewife.
我需要你在此事上成熟一点 不惹事
I need you to be an adult about this. No scenes.
乔伊斯, 我是你的男仆 是有教养的
Joyce, I am your boy. I'm your thoroughbred.
成熟些，明白吗?
Adult. Understand?
忘了那钥匙，好吗? 把钥匙保存在--
Forget about the keys, okay? Just keep the keys with--
今晚是我们的最后一晚 让它成为美好的一晚
Tonight is our last night, so let's make it a good one.
“告别”性从来不会美好
Good-bye sex is never good.
下星期，我们来个“重聚”性--
Next week, we'll have "get back together" sex--
- 今晚我可以留下吗? - 罗杰, 不
- Can I stay the night? - Roger, no.
好的
Right.
嗨，来杯科兹莫，谢谢
Hi. Can I have a Cosmo and a Maker's Mark on the rocks? Thanks.
- 我们谈谈吧 - 对不起，我和别人在一起
- Let's have a talk. - I'm sorry. I'm with some people.
让我猜猜
Let me guess.
你是他们中的新人
You're relatively new at the company.
或许你从别处来到纽约 一个友好的地方
Maybe you moved to New York from somewhere else. Somewhere friendly.
起初你以独处为荣
First you took pride in being alone.
想在这大城市中为自己留个好名声
Wanna make a name foryourself in the big city.
过了一段, 你开始想 若能结识某人将会不错
After a while, you started thinking how it might be nice to meet somebody.
冬天即将来临 有时会寂寞
Winter's not far off, and it gets lonely sometimes.
还有呢?
Okay. And?
所以你开始迷恋你的主管...
And so you develop a crush on your supervisor...
尽管办公室里的女人告诉你...
even though the other women in the office tell you...
" 注意，他是个添麻烦的人 "
" Keep clear. He's bad news."
- 为什么他是添麻烦的人? - 因为他是做戏的
- Why is he bad news? - Because he's a player.
他是个收藏战利品的家伙
He's a guy who collects trophies.
每个在那里工作的女人 最后都会和他上床
Every woman who takes a job there ends up in bed with him.
如果你屈服于诱惑...
And ifyou give in to temptation...
你就会成为水工口里肮脏的笑话
you'll end up the punch line to a sordid joke by the water cooler.
我说的对吗?
Am I hot or cold?
- 是个好故事 - 是老一套
- It's a good story. - It's a cliche.
你不归纳世事的时候做些什么?
So what do you do when you're not reducing the world?
做归纳，归纳出精华所在有什么错?
What's wrong with reduction, boiling things down to their essence?
见证事情的进展有什么错?
What's wrong with... seeing what's really going on?
那到底发生了什么事? 有什么大发现?
And what's really going on? What's the big revelation?
我为什么要告诉你?
Why should I tell you?
告诉你也不会改变什么
Telling you isn't going to change anything.
比如说, 我可以告诉你 你自以为是的个性
For instance, I could tell you that what you think of as your personality...
只不过是名利场中的东西
is nothing but a collection of Vanity Fairarticles.
我可以告诉你 你今晚选择的性伙伴
I could tell you your choice of sexual partners this evening...
是几个月前由几个 Young & Rubicam公司的业务员定的
was decided months ago by some account executive at Young & Rubicam.
我可以告诉你 可用几个星期分析一下你父亲...
I could tell you that given a week to study your father...
和他忽略你的方式...
and the ways in which he ignores you...
我可以下结论 你将无力抵抗，非常无助
I could come up with a schtick you'd be helpless to resist. Helpless.
我可以告诉你所有这些 但你会怎样处理这些信息呢?
I could tell you all that, but what would you do with the information?
有女人喜欢听这些东西吗?
Are there women who fall for this stuff?
我在讲我看到的事实
I'm telling the truth as I see it.
你将和老板上床 那关我什么事
You wanna go fuckyour boss? What business is it of mine.
他不是父亲 他只是个穿西服的家伙
He's not Daddy. He's just a guy in a suit.
你无力抗拒地要实现那个悲惨的
You feel compelled to contribute to the pathetic...
令人伤心的预言 一定要--
heartbreaking predictability of it all, by all means--
- 嗨 - 嗨
- Hi. - Hi.
- 你在等人? - 是的，我未婚夫
- You waiting for someone? - Yeah, my fiance.
- 祝贺你 - 谢谢
- Hey, congratulations. - Thanks.
祝贺你
All right. Congratulations.
他是个好人吗, 你的未婚夫?
Is he a kind man, your fiance?
他尊重你吗?
Does he treat you with respect?
这不关你的事 但，是的，他尊重我
Not that it's any ofyour business, but, yes, he does.
- 那必会使你紧张 - 为什么那会让我紧张?
- That must make you nervous. - Why would that make me nervous?
别装了
Oh, come on.
看看时间，我们一起做做算术
Look at the time. Let's do the math together.
你在说什么?
What are you talking about?
让我猜猜, 缺少自尊...
Let me guess, low self-esteem...
更年前期... 忧虑使你追求一些--
and premenopausal... concern led you to pursue a series of--
无法选择的关系?
semiabusive relationships?
但经过自我治疗使你相信
But a recent dose of therapy has convinced you...
内在美才是主要的
that inner-beauty is what really matters, and...
你能配得上那个尊重你的完美的家伙
you really deserve that perfect partner who treats you with such respect.
要我叫招待员吗?
Do you want me to call the bartender?
除非你是个傻子-- 但我不认为你是--
Unless you're an idiot-- which I don't thinkyou are--
除非你是个可怜的、无助的吸毒者...
unless you're some kind of pathetic, self-help junkie...
你和我都知道 那家伙将在某天清晨
you and I know your guy's gonna wake up one morning, and--
他会四处看看 看看你有多老
he's gonna look around, figure out how old you are...
看看你到底什么样 那天他将出去
and what you're really like, and that's the day he's gonna go out...
买包烟，再也不回来
for a pack of smokes and never come back.
到那时-- 你怎么办?
By that time-- How you doing?
若她看不出要发生的事 我会为她流泪的
If she doesn't see what's coming, I fucking weep for her.
- 能帮你什么吗，先生? - 不用，谢谢，我没事
- Can I help you, sir? - Hey. No, thanks. I'm good.
我是说, "你有什么事?"
I said, "Can I help you, sir?
- 另一个家伙呢? 是-- - 他回家睡觉了
- Where's that other guy? The-- - He's home sleeping.
那好，我有重要事情 要马上见梅纳德·乔伊斯，所以--
Okay. Well, it's very important that I see Joyce Maynard right away, so--
我明白，为何不留个便条呢?
Okay. I understand. Why don't I just leave her a note?
我要见她 这很重要
It's important that I see her in person.
那不行，我可以...
That's not gonna work, so why don't I...
给你叫辆车 你回家睡觉
call you a cab and you go home and sleep it off?
你为什么不回家?
Why don't you go fucking home?
你知道什么? 我们有点分歧
Okay. You know what? We don't understand each other.
我是她男友. 我是她男友, 明白? 你是谁? 你是谁?
I'm her boy. I'm her boy, okay? Who are you? Who are you?
我是你若不走就要叫警察的人!
I am the man who's gonna call the police ifyou don't get out of my lobby!
罗杰, 我是苏珊 今天是星期四，我要你打--
Roger, it's Susan. It's Thursday, and I wantyou to call--
- 罗杰, 听二线 - 是谁?
- Roger, pick up line two. - Who is it?
- 是关于新的活动 - 什么新活动? 是谁
-It's regarding the new campaign. -Which new campai gn? Get a name, please.
- 是苏珊 - 告诉她我不在
- It's Susan. - T ell her I'm out.
- 她说这很重要-- - 告诉她我不在
- She says it's important-- - T ell her I'm out.
这个 有点 傲慢 就象, "是什么?"
Yeah. This is, like, surly. That's like, "What is that?
- 这个是, 象-- - 你喜欢傲慢?
- And this is, like-- - You want surly?
- 这个象90年代的偶像 - 象我
-This is like '90s, adorable normal guy. -I am that.
- 那是你的问题 - 是你的恶梦
- That's your problem. - That's your nightmare.
嗨, 罗杰 你今晚去乔伊斯那里吗?
Hey, Roget. You going to Joyce's tonight?
什么?
What?
- 你没收到邮件? - 什么邮件?
- Didn't you get the E-mail? - What E-mail?
是关于晚会的?
About the party?
你去吗?
You going?
乔伊斯开晚会 我不问什么，我只是去
Joyce throws a party, I don't ask questions. I just show up.
她在开电话会议
She's on a conference call.
泰德, 有人在我办公室
Ted, there's someone in my office.
- 再见, 泰德 - 没事的, 堂娜, 你可以--
- Bye, Ted. - It's okay, Donna, you can--
- 再见，堂娜 - 我5分钟后打给你
- Bye, Donna. - I'll call you back in five minutes.
"5分钟"? 这是5分钟的问题吗?
"Five minutes"? This is a five-minute situation?
坐下
Sit down.
我不想坐下 我想站着
I don't wish to sit down. I wish to stand.
你昨晚是不是想闯进我的大楼?
Did you try to get into my building last night?
今晚为何不邀请我? 除了我大家都去
Why am I not invited tonight? Everyone will be there except me.
那象什么话?
What is that going to look like?
- 我们要重新划分界线 - 不要
- Let's reestablish some boundaries. - Let's not.
我是你的老板，你为我工作
I'm your boss. You work for me.
你写得一手好文章
You write very good copy.
但我有一大帮象你这样的人
But I have a hundred resumes on my files for guys just like you.
但他们做我做的那事吗?
But do those guys do that thing that I do?
你喜欢的那事?
The thing that you like?
我已给你解释过 我不想在公共场合见你
I have explained to you that I do not wish to see you socially any longer.
想办法想通这个问题
Find a way to deal with it.
那是什么意思?
What's that supposed to do?
尼克?
Nick?
罗杰叔叔 过得好吗?
Uncle Roger. How's it going?
你在这里干什么?
What are you doing here?
什么? 噢 我想看看你工作的地方
What? Oh. I wanted to see where you work.
- 好的 不 你在这里干什么? - 什么?
- Yes. No. What are you doing here? - What?
- 你是说纽约? - 是的
- You mean here in New York here? - Yes.
我来哥伦比亚大学面试 所以妈妈说该来看看你
I had an interview at Columbia, so Mom said I should lookyou up.
- 坐吧 - 好的
- Sit down. - Okay.
那些电话就是为这事了
That's what all the phone calls were about.
- 电话? - 是，你妈妈给我打过电话
- The phone calls? - Yeah. Your mom's been calling me.
- 你和她谈了? - 是电话留言
- Did you speak to her? - We're playing phone tag.
她说你可以看你在这里的工作
She said you could show me what you do here.
是吗?
She did?
其实没有什么可看的, 尼克
Well, there's not a whole lot to show you, Nick.
真的? 象是，你整天干什么?
Really? Like, what do you do all day?
我整天干什么?
What do I do all day?
我坐在这里 想办法让人们觉得不好受
I sit here and think ofways to make people feel bad.
- 我以为你写商业文章 - 是的...
- I thought you wrote for commercials. - I do...
但若你不让人们觉得难受 就卖不了产品
but you can't sell a product without first making people feel bad.
为什么?
Why not?
这是个替换游戏
Because it's a substitution game.
你要提醒他们生活中缺少了什么
You have to remind them that they're missing something from their lives.
每个人都会有缺憾，是不是?
Everyone's missing something, right?
- 我想是的 - 相信我
- Well, yeah. I guess. - Trust me.
当他们的这种感觉很强烈时
And when they're feeling sufficiently incomplete...
你说服他们 你的产品是唯一能补足这缺憾的
you convince them that your product is the only thing that can fill the void.
为此，不是采取行动处理他们的生活...
So, instead of taking steps to deal with their lives...
不是努力工作来消除他们的不幸的根源...
instead ofworking to root out the real reason for their misery...
而是跑去买一堆难看的裤子
they run out and buy a stupid-looking pair of cargo pants.
- 那么... 有意思吗? - 可以的
- So... is it fun? - It can be.
你看，我的一天就是这样
Look, I actually was about to call it a day.
酷 我们去吃点东西吧
That's cool. We can go get something to eat.
- 好的. 我们离开这里 - 很好
- Fine. Let's get out of here. - Great.
你吓了我一，我以为你在梦游
You gave me a scare. I thought you were having a narcoleptic episode.
- 什么? 什么时候? - 在办公室?
- What? When? - Back at the office, you know?
那是站立冥想 那使我平静，谢谢
That's standing meditation. It calms me down. Thanks.
为何你要平静? 你才十几岁，谢谢
Why should you calm down? You're a teenager. Thankyou.
当有压力的时候，我的脑子就会晕
My brain gets all sloppy when I'm stressed...
深思冥想会让我转移注意力 忘掉烦恼
so the meditation helps me focus and block out the bad stuff.
- 烦恼? - 象恐惧和疼痛
- Bad stuff? - Like fear and pain, you know?
是幻象，它呈现为阴郁三角形 这就是我
It's a visualization. I picture a blue triangle, and that's me.
我把三角外的其它东西放到红区 还管用
I put all the other stuff outside the triangle in a red field. It works.
你父母怎样?
So, how's your folks?
- 他们离婚了 - 什么?
- They got divorced. - What?
是的，我爸爸搬走了
Yeah. My dad moved out.
- 开玩笑吧。什么时候发生的? - 不久
- You're kidding. When did this happen? - A while ago.
奶奶的葬礼后我就没见过你
I haven't seen you since Grandma's funeral.
- 上帝, 尼克. 我很难过 - 没什么了不起的
- Jesus, Nick. I'm sorry to hear that. - It's no big deal.
我还和爸爸联系 他在途中打电话
I still talk to my dad. He calls from the road.
你妈妈怎样?
How's your mom doing?
她很好，你知道的
She's fine. You know.
- 奇怪她没和你一起来 - 或许因葬礼发生的事...
- Surprised she didn't come with you. - Maybe she was afraid to see you...
她不敢见你
after what happened at the funeral.
那全是因为你爷爷太牛*
That happened because your grandfather's a king-size prick.
All right?
你何时面试?
So when's your interview?
- 就是今天 - 怎么样?
- It was today. - How'd it go?
我想还行. 是因为妈妈我才面试的
Fine, I guess. I did the interviews 'cause Mom wants me to.
- 你对大学不感兴趣? - 为何要不停地上学呢
- You're not interested in college? - Why keep going to school...
我已经能独立处理事情了
when anything I need to find out about I can look up myself?
爸爸没上大学 在我这个年龄他已经上路了
Dad didn't go to college. By the time he was my age, he was on the road.
- 有什么事吗? - 没事，谢谢
- How is everything here? - First-rate. Thanks.
但是... 上学的好处是可有很多空闲
But... the good thing about college is you get to hang out a lot.
- 对社交有好处 - 是的
- It's good for the social skills. - Yeah.
所以... 妈妈说你很在行, 象个花花公子
So... my mom says you're kind of, you know, like a ladies' man.
- 她那么说的? - 但她说的象是贬意
- She said that? - But she says it like it's a bad thing.
那才象她
That sounds like her.
- 是真的吗? - 你怎么样? 有女朋友了?
- Is it true? - What about you? You have a girlfriend?
没，我是说，还没有
No. I mean, you know, not yet.
我越来越大了 有好多事情我想能--
Look. I'm getting older, and there's a lot of stuff that I wish I could--
有好多事我还没-- 有些事我应该--
There's a lot of stuff that I haven't-- There's certain things I need to--
我想你是说你该有所体验
Yeah. I thought you said you could look that stuff up.
不，我是说，不是这个
No. I mean, not this.
你不明白 我需要有个明白人指点
You don't understand. I need someone who knows what to say--
我在跟你开玩笑, 尼克 那就是上大学的原因
I'm kidding you, Nick. That's what college is for.
你找个需辅导学业的足球队员 他帮你找个女友
You find some football player who needs tutoring, and he helps you get girls.
- 你没明白 - 我明白，我也有过16岁
- You don't get it. - I get it. I was 1 6 once, all right?
若上不了大学 你怎么办?
What are you going to do ifyou don't go to college?
设计软件 或许做仿真游戏
Design software. Maybe work on simulation games.
很好，你是电脑高手 那能赚到钱
That's right. You're the computer whiz. There is money in that.
我给别人建系统已经赚到钱了
I already make money setting up systems for people.
我在为爷爷的研究搞网页
I'm working on a web page for Granddad for his research.
什么，那老家伙? 他真在花钱?
What, the old man? He's actually spending money?
是的，很大笔钱
Yeah, good money too.
有意思，因为他对着计算机吼 好象那是个人似的
It's funny, 'cause he yells at his computer like it's a person.
他总是说"那狗娘养的吃了我的文件"
He's always going, "That bitch ate my file."
- 或, "她在装模做样" - 你在那里花了很多时间?
- Or, "She's playing hard to get." - You spend a lot of time there?
现在是这样
Yeah, nowadays.
我放学后去 他来和我们一起吃晚餐
I go over after school, and he comes over and eats dinner with us.
等等，他跟你和苏珊一起吃晚餐?
Wait a minute. He eats dinner with you and Susan?
是的。因为奶奶死了，没有人照顾他
Sure. Since Grandma died, there's no one taking care ofhim.
即使在离婚后，妈妈也每天去做晚饭
Even after they split up, she went over every day to cook dinner.
我是说 每天 她是个疯子
I mean, every single day. She was nuts.
是的，她是个疯子
Yeah, she was nuts.
那么, 尼克
So, Nick.
你需要帮助去接近女士?
You need some help with the ladies?
好的 那我们开始 直接了当
All right. Here we go. Get this straight.
性无处不在，它就在我们周围
Sex is everywhere, okay? It is all around us.
它不是远不可及 它不是珠穆朗玛峰
It's not some distant destination. It's not Everest.
它就在这里 你要调节好自己适应它
It is right here. You have to attune yourself to it.
你必须使自己进入状态
You have to bring yourself into alignment.
你必须找到这一领地, 尼克. 好吗?
You have to find the zone, Nick. Okay?
做到这些，我保证 一个崭新的世界将为你打开
Do that, and I promise you a whole world will open up.
看看我，我走路的样子充满了感知(易接受性)
Look at me. I walk around in a state of total receptivity.
- 我就象个避雷针 - 好的，不错。我做什么呢?
- I'm like a fucking lightning rod. - All right. Fine. What do I do?
对入门者，要摆脱困扰和那阴郁三角
For starters, let's get rid of that little meditation. The blue triangle.
我们不排斥什么, 尼古拉斯 我们让他们来
We don't block things out, Nicholas. We let them in.
让什么来?
Let what in?
这城市中有数百万女人
There are millions ofwomen in this city.
有数百万. 她们大都不知道 她们的身体
Millions. Most ofthem are blessedly unaware ofthe countless ways...
有无数种方法暴露给我们的眼睛
in which their bodies are exposed to our eyes.
首先，学会看太阳，知道它的位置
So, first, learn to read the sun, where it sits.
你会发现... 逆光和透明的关系
You'll notice... correlation between backlighting and transparency.
她们穿浅色衣服 内衣直接显现出来
They wear light-colored clothing, underwear shows right through.
乳罩带，女裤带 根本不需要伸脖子或斜视
Bra straps, panty lines. No need to stretch or squint.
它就在那里，明白? 例如--
It is there for us, okay? For example--
什么?
What?
你要象建筑工人那样吹走我的掩护?
Are you blowing my cover like some construction worker?
- 不. 我刚要-- - 用用脑子
- No. I was just-- - Use your head.
后退. 让她过去 停几秒钟
Step back. Let her pass. Okay? Give it a few seconds.
看着，然后伪装你的动作，注意
Watch this, and then camouflage the move. Pay attention.
看看手表或者呼机
Checking of the watch is good. Or of the pager.
或者看路标 好象你迷了路
Or looking for a street sign like you're lost.
你看到我做了一组动作 不管做什么，不要被发现
You saw me do a combination. Whatever it is, don't get caught.
你认为女人知道发生的事吗?
Do you think women have a clue what goes on up here?
她们想什么 只是股票报价、钻头尺寸
What do they think, it's just stock quotes, drill bit sizes?
她们什么也不知道! 就让它维持这样吧
They don't know shit! Let's keep it that way.
- 好的 - 你的眼睛怎么样?
- All right. - Watch. What about your eyes?
- 什么? 我的眼睛? - 你的眼睛. 你的视力怎样?
- What? My eyes? - Your eyes. How's your vision?
- 很好. 20-20. - 好的. 远处的?
- No, it's good. It's 20-20. - Okay. Peripheral?
- 我不知道. 我想应该不错 - Fine's not gonna cut it.
- I don't know. It's fine, I guess. - Fine's not gonna cut it.
你必须增强肌肉 就象在为奥林匹克锻炼
You gotta workyour muscles like you're training for the fucking Olympics.
上、下、左、右，等等
- Yeah. - Up, down, left, right, et cetera.
- 看着我的手指 - 好的
- Here. Follow my finger. - Okay.
- 当它消失时告诉我 - 好的
- Tell me when it's gone. - All right.
- 好的. 停 - 就这样?
- Okay. Stop. - That's it?
在你准备好上街之前
You need a hundred, a hundred and ten degrees...
你需要100，110度
before you're ready for the street.
天气好时我能看到后面
I see behind me on a good day.
- 你玩计算机游戏? - 当然
- You play video games? - Sure.
好，那东西可训练眼力
Good. That stuff is training for the eyes.
瞬间记住映像
Registering images in a split second.
那很有价值 噢，在那里
It's invaluable. Oh. Right there.
蓝色运动衫. 蓝色运动衫 中间. 蓝色运动衫. 蓝色运动衫
Blue sweater. Blue sweater. Median. Blue sweater. Blue sweater.
那小姐正在-- 你没看见
That young lady just-- And you missed it.
- 我知道 - 只有几微秒
- I know. - In just a fraction of a second.
就是这样 但经过训练的眼睛一眼就能看到
That's all. But a trained eye can get in there for a look.
你必须学会预见你的机会
You have to learn to anticipate your opportunities, okay?
下出租车、经过地铁壁炉
Getting out of a cab, wind from a subway grate...
就象你久违了那里 弯腰捡起什么
or as you so sadly missed there, bending over to pick something up.
这些情况下需要反应迅速
These are situations which require lightning reflexes.
- 告诉你，我可以做到 - 你现在慢了我一步, 尼克
- I tell you, I can do that. - Your a step slow right now, Nick.
嗨，那不足为奇 我记得那里的样子
Hey, no wonder. I remember what it's like out there.
没有交流，没有新面孔
No interaction. No face time.
看着我。我每天走过大街、地铁、自动提款机队列、
Look at me. Every day I have the street, the subway, the ATM line...
办公室、运动场--
the office, the gym, the--
你发现什么?
What have you got?
俄亥俄州的年轻人坐在车里
Young people sitting in cars in Ohio.
渴望的眼神看着红灯
Wistful glances at the stoplight.
不，我去学校 那里有交流
No, I go to school. That's interaction.
好，我们就分析那里
Okay. Let's work with that.
我记得大学的楼有4层
The high school building is four stories, if memory serves.
- 现在有5层 - 不管它
- It's five stories now. - Whatever.
那是多层的，就是说 楼梯很妙
It's multistory, and that means stairs, which is good.
为解决眼睛视角问题，到这来
Free yourself from the tyranny of eye level. Come here.
在这个角度，高可看乳沟
Use the angles. High for cleavage.
- 低可看裙子 - 是的
- Low for the skirts. - All right.
记住，不必为用老手法而害羞
Remember, there's no shame in calling on an old standby, right?
丢下铅笔，系鞋带 只是不要泄露出来
Dropping of the pencil. Tying of the shoe.Just don't telegraph it.
有没有反光的东西? 镜子，窗户?
What about reflective surfaces? Mirrors, windows?
什么，在学校里? 没，那里没有镜子
What, in school? No, there's no mirrors.
那个难看的玻璃奖品容器--
What about that ugly glass trophy case that--
- 对，在那里 - 好，利用它，太好了
- Yeah, that's there. - Well, use it. It's perfect.
去那里站一会 走，走，停
Go stand over there for a second. Keep going. Keep going. Stop.
若你不能直接看见 就转身用玻璃看
Ifyou can't stare directly, turn your back and use the glass.
嗨，太棒了
Hi, gorgeous.
记住，入射角等于反射角
Remember, angle of incidence equals angle of reflectives.
就是说，若你能看见她们 她们也能看见你，要注意
In other words, ifyou can see them, they can see you. So be alert.
- 这真是复杂 - 这是火箭科学
- This is really complicated. - It's rocket science.
- 你很精于求助 - 我有一个问题
- You were smart to ask for help. - I have a good one.
当她们穿短袖时
When they're wearing short sleeves...
举手拢头发，就能从缝隙是看到
and they raise their arms to fix their hair, you can see in that gap there.
看看，这说明你在利用你的智慧
Now, see? That shows me you're using your faculties.
- 她们知道我们能看到吗? - 她们当然知道
- Don't they know we can see in there? - Of course they do.
乳房非常敏感 当它们暴露在空气中时 她们会知道
Breasts are very sensitive. They know when they're exposed to air.
女人走路时会把手放在侧边吗？不会
Are women gonna walk around with their hands clamped to their sides? No.
头发总是要照顾的
Their hair has to be dealt with eventually...
我们的时刻到了 象我们行家才会准备好
and it is our job, it is ourvocation to be ready.
好的。偷窥没问题了 但如何走第二步呢?
All right. So all this looking is fine, but how do you take the next step?
我想认识一位
I need to meet someone.
若你不能看出这两个问题的关系
Ifyou can't see how the two things are related...
那我就帮不了你了
there's nothing I can do foryou.
- 等等. 别急. 好了 - 你以为我们在这里开玩笑?
- Wait. Relax. Come on. - You think we are kidding around here?
- 你认为这是玩笑? - 不，那我在这里干什么?
- Do you think this is a joke? - No. Why do you think I'm here?
- 你必须使性显现出来 - 对不起
- You have got to make sex a presence... - I'm sorry.
- 在你脑中，你生活中 - 好的
- in your mind, in your life... - All right.
- 在你的精神中 - 对不起
- in your spirit. - I'm sorry.
- 好的 - 什么? 不，我不吸烟
- All right. - What? No. I don't smoke.
最好学学
Better learn.
- 好的 - 过来
- Okay. - Come on.
这里，在这里等
Here. Wait here.
呆在我这边
Okay. Stay on this side of me.
对不起
Excuse us.
进去，走，快
In, in, in. Go, go, go. Hurry.
Oh, yeah.
好的，我们进来了
Okay. We're in.
好
Good.
首先，观察一下地形
So, first, a survey of the terrain.
看起来仍是快乐时光
Technically, it's still happy hour.
有些喝酒的要走了 有很多人
Your casual drinkers have yet to pack it in. Lots of groups.
对我们实现目标不太理想 但也不是不可能
Not exactly ideal for our purposes, but not impossible.
我们要来个印象深刻的
So, we need to make an impression.
Send out a signal that back here is the place to be.
你要干什么？你说什么？
All right. What do you do? What do you say?
管那么多? 你在把事情复杂化
Who cares? You're overcomplicating it.
你愿意整晚坐在这里 想象那美妙的曲线
You spend the whole night sitting here thinking of the perfect line...
那有什么好?
what good is that?
保持联系，不和闹事者接触，看着
Just make contact. Separate yourself from the rabble. Watch this.
嗨! 罗斯.
Hey! Roses. Rosebud.
嗨. 过来
Hi. Come here.
过来，过来，过来
Come here. Come here. Come here.
嗨. 你能--
Hi. Could you--
我能给你拿--
Could I get you to take a-- Yeah.
- 嗨 - 尼克说你很美
- Hey. - Nick here thinks you're beautiful.
若他有此好品味 那他跟你在这里干什么?
If he's got such good taste, what's he doing hanging out with you?
问得好. 尼克?
Good question. Nick?
- 因为他是我叔叔 - 你怎么了
- Because he's my uncle? - How awful foryou.
如此而已 没什么大不了的，是吧?
And so on. No big deal, right?
现在她已经知道了我们在这里 我们就可以实施我们的策略了
Now she's aware of our presence, and we can plot our strategy.
我去拿些饮料 我去那里时，你想个钓钩
I'm gonna get us some drinks. While I'm there, think of a hook.
- 什么? 钓钩? - 钓钩，线，一个好藉口
- What? A hook? - A hook. A line. An opening salvo.
现在起的每一分钟, 罗斯都会站在这里
Any minute now, Rosebud is going to be standing right here...
低头看着你，你只有一个机会
Iooking down at you, and you're going to have one chance...
或者把它扔出停车场 或者努力撑下去
to either hit it out of the park or strike out miserably.
准备好
Be ready.
噢，糟糕，噢，糟糕
Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh, shit.
噢，糟糕，噢，糟糕
Oh, shit. Oh, shit.
你好, 尼克. 你的叔叔说 你有事情告诉我
Hello, Nick. Your uncle says you have something to tell me...
足以让我大吃一惊
that will absolutely blow my mind.
- 噢，是吗? - 是的，这是他的原话
- Oh, yeah? - Yeah. Those were his exact words.
他在开我们俩的玩笑?
Is he playing a little joke on us?
不，不 他是认真的
No, no. He's serious.
我是说，他是... 很认真的
I mean, he's... totally serious.
- 今晚 - 对不起
- Tonight. - Sorry.
谢谢. 当我--
Thanks. As I was--
- 今晚 - 对, 我是说...
- Tonight. - Right, I was saying that...
我是说今晚是一个--
I was saying that tonight is a--
今晚对我来说是一个非常重要的夜晚
Tonight is a very important night for me.
我正要告诉她我们打的赌
I was just telling her that we made a bet.
- 打赌? - 呃. 我们赌1千元
- A bet? - Uh-huh. We made a bet for $1,000.
我可以让某个人...
That I can get somebody to...
象是, 爱上我
Iike, fall in love with me.
真的?
Really?
爱. 那是个很难证明的东西 你说呢?
Love. That's a hard thing to verify, don't you think?
不, 我想我们可以
No, I think we can do it.
我相信我们可以
I'm confident we can.
1千美元?
A thousand dollars?
那并不能让人大吃一惊...
That's not exactly mind-blowing...
但它也不是我今晚听到的最差的
but it's not the worse line I'll hear tonight.
什么? 真的?
What? Really?
干得好, 尼克
Yeah. Good job, Nick.
- 那，值得坐下来吗? - 我在等一个朋友
- So, do we rate a sit-down? - I'm waiting for a friend.
她来后我让她评判
I'll run it by her when she shows up.
让她来这里 赌注是现金
Get her over here. There's cash at stake.
若我们来，谁和谁坐呢?
Ifwe do, who sits with who?
女士们选 自然选择
Ladies' choice. Natural selection.
我要和他坐
I wanna sit with him.
好，好
Yes, yes.
这是什么?
What is this?
浪姆酒. 我让他调淡些 我们还有很长的路要走
Rum and coke. I told him to mix it weak. We got a long way to go here.
- 我不喝酒 - 开什么玩笑? 喝一口
- Okay. I don't drink. - You kidding me? Take a drink.
- 我不让酒精进入我体内 - 你喝掉那饮料
- I don't put alcohol into my body. - You drink that drink.
停止戒酒对你今晚的成功至关重要
Loss of inhibition is crucial to your success tonight, okay?
几千年来，酒是社交的润滑剂
Alcohol has been a social lubricant for thousands ofyears.
你想今晚坐在那里重新发明个车轮？
You thinkyou're gonna sit here tonight and reinvent the wheel? Please.
好的。你做了件很好的事。你撒了谎
All right. Now, you did one very good thing. You lied.
你编了个故事 别让你那部分大脑停下
You made something up. Keep that part ofyour brain working.
我们使那些姑娘过来 你的本能会使你敞开交谈
We get those girls over here, your first instinct is gonna be to open up.
跟你说实话 战斗吧！让它妙趣不断
To tell the truth. Fight it! Just keep it interesting.
利用你的新奇感 你是酒吧中16岁的孩子
Play up your novelty. You're a 1 6-year-old in a bar.
为什么? "我父亲是酒吧老板" 你只能活一个月
Why? "My father owns the bar." You got a month to live.
你是个体验生活的演员-- 我不知道，临时发挥吧
You're an actor researching-- I don't know. Improvise.
接下来, 看看时间 现在几点?
Next, check the time. What time is it?
大约 7:02
It's about 7:02.
- 有没有医用报警手镯? - 没, 那不是随便用的
- Do you have a MedicAlert bracelet? - No, it's instructions.
若我死得早 我就把尸体冷冻起来
I'm having my body cryogenically frozen if I die prematurely.
好了，不管它了 已经足够好
All right. Leave it. It's spastic enough to be charming.
现在7点
So, the time. 7:00.
到关门我们有9个小时，时间足够了
We've got nine hours until closing time. An eternity.
看着我, 尼克 回答我这个问题
Look at me, Nick, and answer me this question.
好的
All right.
谁是历史上最伟大的篮球队员?
Who is the greatest basketball player in the history of the game?
- 你是指任何时候? - 行了，这很简单
- Do you mean ever? - Come on. This is easy.
- 迈克尔 乔丹? - 迈克尔 乔丹.
- Michael Jordan? - Michael Jordan.
为何他是最伟大的? 因为他为自己定了速度
Why was he the greatest? Because he paced himself.
因为他总是在结束时露一手
Because he always had something left at the finish.
神奇的约翰逊称之为“决胜时刻” 看到那边的家伙没？
Magic Johnson called it "winning time." See those guys over there?
这帮家伙自以为了不起
Yeah. Those guys think they're kicking ass.
相信我，现在还早
Believe me, it is early.
我们离决胜时刻还要走好久 所以要注意
We are a long way from winning time, so pay attention.
- 好的 - 你说你要体验
- Okay. - You say you want it.
若你真的想体验
Ifyou really wanted it...
你就该在这里忍受那帮家伙的折磨
you'd be in here, suffering the tortures of the damned with those guys.
- 什么? - 在好色与放纵之间
- What? - There's a big difference between...
有很大的区别
being horny and being willing to put in the time night after night--
我要体验. 好吗? 我上大学 你不认为那是折磨？
I want it. Okay? I go to high school. You don't think that's torture?
这需要很多信息
This is a lot of information.
我在给你通往这王朝的钥匙
I'm giving you the keys to the kingdom.
我知道
Yeah, I know.
有多少和你同龄的有这种机会?
How many boys your age get an opportunity like this?
是的
Yes.
那么，用手掐着脖子 喝了那冰水，那叫杜松子酒
So, stickyour finger down your throat. Drink ice water, call it gin--
我不管你做什么 准备好事情来临时勇敢地面对
I don't care what you do. Be ready to dive in at the moment of truth.
那... 你多久, 呃...
So... how often do you, like...
就是, 带个人跟你回家?
you know, like, get somebody to go home with you?
每天晚上
Every night.
瞎说
Bullshit.
只因你没有性体验 并不代表我们其他人...
Just because you're not having sex, doesn't mean the rest of us...
都坐着玩纸牌
are sitting around playing cribbage.
什么纸牌?
What's cribbage?
- 什么? 什么? - 好了，好了
- What? What? - Here we go. Here we go.
他们来了. 看来好蠢 他们比我大一倍
Here they come. This is so stupid. They're, like, twice my age.
冠军拒绝失败 学学迈克
Champions refuse to lose. Be like Mike.
我们如约来了 来喝一杯
Here we are. As promised. For one drink.
- 我是安德里亚, 这是索菲 - 我叫罗杰. 这是我侄子尼克
- I'm Andrea, and this is Sophie. - I'm Roger. This is my nephew, Nick.
- 嗨 - 他真的象是16岁
- Hi. - He really is, like, 1 6.
- 我告诉你了 - 请坐
- I told you. - Sit down.
你怎么进来这里的, 尼克?
How'd you get in here, Nick?
这问题你该问我的
It's funny you should... ask me that.
因为我们讨论过, 还有--
'Cause we were, before, discussing it, and--
不管那个了
Neveryou mind.
我在享受尼克带来的神秘的气氛
I'm enjoying the air of intrigue Nick brings to our booth.
- 大家干杯 - 我告诉了索菲你们的打赌
- Cheers, everyone. - I told Sophie about your little bet.
她认为你太在意了
She thinks you're full of it.
1千美元是小事情
There's nothing little about a thousand dollars.
他必须让人爱上他?
He's got to get someone to fall in love with him?
- 一个女人 - 一个女人?
- A woman. - A woman?
必须是个女人吗? 若是有个男人喜欢上你呢?
Does it have to be a woman? What if some guy takes a shine to you?
我想那也算，因为我们从没考虑性别
I guess that would count, 'cause we never discussed what gender--
如果尼克自愿进入那个洞洞 他就可以拿到钱
If Nick is willing to exploit that little loophole, he can have the money.
- 你们在说什么? - 我不知道
- What were you guys talking about? - I don't know.
- 我们在谈论什么? - 在谈论女人
- What were we talking about? - We were talking about women.
特别是，欣赏女人曲线的愉悦
Specifically, the pleasure to be derived from admiring the female form.
想象一下，整天被人欣赏是什么感觉
Imagine what it feels like to be admired all day long.
- 真的 - 你宁愿用假名?
- Really. - You'd rather be completely anonymous?
- 不用假名 - 不用假名
- Not completely anonymous. - Not anonymous.
我自己倒是喜欢 走在街上时
I myselfwould welcome the sensation of a hundred pair of eyes...
有几百双眼睛爱抚我的...东西(?booty) 这种感觉
caressing my... booty as I walk down the street.
男人常常这么说
Guys always say that.
是的. "我喜欢被女人盯着看"
Yeah. "We'd love it ifwomen were always staring."
我也会
We would.
如果没有女人听进去你说的话 而只是盯着你的胸部或胯部看
You would love it if no woman ever listened to a word you were saying...
and just kept her eyes locked on your chest oryour crotch?
你会喜欢吗？
如果那总是以性结束 我就不在乎
If it led to having sex all the time, I would not mind.
你能忍受没人理你 不把你当回事吗？
You could deal with never being heard, never being taken seriously?
如果我有什么需要说 我会等到性交后说
If I had something that needed saying, I would wait until right after sex.
请不要说那么露骨的字眼
Seriously, for a second, just stop saying the obvious thing.
想象一下 如果在所有人公交车上
Think what it would be like if on every bus...
都有你的裸体巨照 会怎么样
there were huge pictures ofyour naked body.
- 还有所有的宣传栏-- - 杂志
- And on every billboard-- - Magazine.
说的好-- 那只是你的身体
That's right-- it was just about your body.
有那么多的时间和金钱 花在迷恋、分析...
There was so much time and money and energy spent obsessing and analyzing...
努力想看一眼你的身体 很快变得好似...
trying to get a glimpse ofyour body, that soon it felt like...
世界忘记了别的事情...
the world had forgotten about everything else...
最后你感到...
and you end up feeling...
与你的身体已分离 就象它不是你的
disconnected from your own body, like it's not even yours.
如果你很在乎男性的凝视
Ifyou're really serious about avoiding the male gaze--
- 如果是用假名-- - 我从没说是用假名
- If the goal is anonymity-- - I never said the goal was anonymity.
让我们打个比方，好吗?
Here's a little suggestion, okay?
化化装，改头发样式
Putting on makeup. Styling your hair.
穿上杀手的服装 在周五的晚上到类似这里的地方
Wearing a killer outfit and coming to a place like this on a Friday night.
那就开始有意思了 因为在某个时刻...
That's when it gets interesting, because at a certain point...
- 你开始分析男性的凝视 - 不是最好的方式
- you start internalizing the male gaze. - Not the best course of action.
男性的凝视. 麦迪逊大街
Male gaze. Madison Avenue. Fucking patriarchy.
不管是什么，都把你当回事
Whatever it is, it's done its number on you.
你认为你能控制你找到的有魅力的人吗？
Do you thinkyou have any control over who you find attractive?
- 当然能 - 我想不能，我可以证明给你
- Of course we do. - I think not, and I'll prove it to you.
随便问一个女人, "男人最迷人的是什么"
Ask any woman, "What's the single most attractive quality a man can possess?
- 她们会怎么回答呢? - 幽默感
- And what do they invariably answer? - Sense of humor.
- 幽默感 - 幽默感占多数，是无疑的
- Sense of humor. - Sense of humor is huge. Definitely.
然而, 若两个又穷又低微 按他们自己的规则比赛的
And yet, if two lean, mean, play-by-their-own-rules...
摩托车手来到这里
motorcycle-riding men strolled up to this booth...
把我们这两个幽默的家伙痛打一顿
and beat the shit out of us two humorous guys, right...
邀请你去兜风，你就会去的 (膝盖发软weak at the knees)
and asked you out for a ride, you would be weak at the knees.
- 不可能 - 膝盖发软
- No way. - Weak at the knees.
骑摩托的男人确实很性感
Well, actually, guys who ride cycles are pretty sexy.
- 谢谢你，看到了? - 抱歉
- Thank you. You see? - Sorry.
事实是，敏感、可怜惜惜、 in-touch-with-their-feelings guys...的男人
The fact is that touchy-feely, weepy, in-touch-with-their-feelings guys...
让你作呕-- 你对他们退避三舍
make you sick-- you're repulsed by them.
比如说冰河时期 适者生存
Give me the Ice Age, okay? Survival of the fittest.
没有什么预报，没有说教理论
No mixed signals. No bullshit.
最卑劣、长头发的混蛋 总是能赢
Just the meanest, hairiest bastard wins all the time.
我们现在换个话题
Let's change the subject right now.
你知道，这很有趣 这很有男子气
You know, it's interesting. All this looking is so masculine.
我是说，你们男人是谈论主题.
I mean, you guys are just about the visuals.
真的。为什么我给男人口交时--
Really. Why is it that when I'm going down on a guy--
- 索菲! - 不，没关系
- Sophie! - No, really.
为什么在我自慰时...
Why is it that when I'm doing my thing...
为什么那个男人总是坚持要看？
why is it that men always insist on watching?
你不能闭上眼睛体会感觉吗？
Why can't you just close your eyes and concentrate on the feeling?
这对女人并不是恭维
It's not the most flattering activity for a woman.
我不敢肯定那是-- 或许我们能帮忙
I'm not sure that that's a-- Maybe we can help.
尼克, 参与进来 一个女人在自慰时
Nick, jump in here. A woman is doing her thing.
为什么我们要看?
Why do we have to watch?
或许是确认那确实在发生?
Well, maybe to make sure that it's actually happening?
我同意 确认那不是我们的幻觉
I'll buy that. Make sure we're not hallucinating.
或许把它存档 以防下次迟迟到来
And maybe to file it away, in case it's a long time before the next one.
两个极好答案 或许你可以好好解释一下存档?
Two excellent answers. Perhaps you'd elaborate on the filing it away part?
存档干什么?
File it away for what?
- 我不知道 - 说吧, 尼克
- Oh. I don't know. - Come on, Nick.
我们终于谈到了熟悉的话题
We're finally treading on some familiar territory here.
妈妈在厨房做果子冻
Mom's in the kitchen making Jell-O with fruit.
- 你把自己关进浴室-- - 别出汗, 尼克
- You lockyourself in the bathroom-- - Don't sweat it, Nick.
我和三个兄弟一起长大
I grew up with three brothers.
厕所简直就是色情博物馆 栩栩如生
The closets were pornography museums. More visuals.
你说的没错
You're right about the visual thing.
每当听到一个男人
It always drives me nuts when I hear a guy...
做女人做的有些性感的事情 就会让我作呕
going on about something a girl does that's supposed to be so sexy.
- 哪类的事情? - 象撩撩头发
- Like what kind of thing? - Like how she flips her hair.
站的姿势，可能是任何事情
How she stands with one foot to the side. It could be anything.
- 那有什么呢? - 因为那没意思
- What's wrong with that? - Because that's nothing.
她无意那么做
That's just something she does.
或许她只是模仿在电影上看到的
And she probably only does it because she saw it in a movie.
那并不是她们的特有的
It's not their real stuff.
所有的这些--撩头发、特殊习惯、警句
All that stuff-- the hair flips, the mannerisms, the catch phrases.
综合到一起构成个性 所以它是真实的
They add up to the personality. So they are what's real.
是的，但那只是外表 开始是不错
Yeah, but it's all the outside stuff. That's fine in the beginning.
你需要外表
You need the outside stuff.
你需要，象，有理由去爱
You need, like, the reasons to be in love.
但你可以越过外表
But you can get past that to the part...
而明白那些小伎俩毫无意义
where the little tricks don't mean anything.
我是说你被眼前的所吸引 故事结束
I say you are attracted to what is in front ofyou. End of story.
好浪漫
How romantic.
那要用多年的时间
It takes years and years together.
- 是吗? - 我不能表达得准确...
- Yeah? - I can't describe it exactly...
但象是她不能做什么
but it's like there's nothing she can do.
她吸引你的方法都失去了作用
All her usual ways of hooking you in have no effect...
然而你仍然爱她
and yet you're still in love.
就象是演出已经结束...
It's like the act is over...
你发现了她隐藏的部分
and you get to the part she's been hiding.
她仍然隐藏它 因为她认为那部分...
And she's been hiding it because she thinks that's the part...
会使你离开 或厌倦
that's gonna blow it or make you leave or get bored...
但你已知道那部分 你并没离开
but you get to that part, and you're still there.
你甚至更爱她
And you're even more in love.
哇
Wow.
见过我侄子没? 他的名字是耶稣
Have you met my nephew? His name is Jesus.
你多大了, 尼克?
How old are you, Nick?
16岁
I'm 1 6.
坚强点, 索菲 1千元的赌注还在这里
Stay strong, Sophie. There's a thousand of my dollars at stake here.
我们还限制一杯吗?
Are we still on a one-drink limit?
- 我想可以多喝一杯 - 我同意
- I think we can have one more. - Yeah, I'm in.
很好 Scootch out of there, 索菲
Great. Scootch out of there, Sophie.
- 谁喝什么? - 索菲知道我喜欢什么
- Who wants what? - Sophie knows what I like.
- 请来点冰水 - 好的，很可爱
- Just some ice water, please. - Okay, that's charming.
尼克?
Nick?
一个演员应该考虑抓住 单独和安德里亚在一起的机会
A player might consider taking advantage of this time alone with Andrea.
安德里亚. 好 你们慢慢聊
Andrea. Yeah. You can take your time.
- 嗨 - 嗨
- Hi. - Hey.
- 你叔叔有什么事? - 我不知道
- What's the deal with your uncle? - I don't know.
这是第一次我和他一起到社交场合
This is really the first time I've hung out with him socially.
- 你住在这城市吗? - 我和妈妈住在俄亥俄州
- Do you live in the city? - I live in Ohio with my mom.
她和罗杰基本上不再说话
She and Roger don't really speak anymore.
俄亥俄?
Ohio?
家里有女朋友吗?
Do you have a girlfriend back home?
没有，现在没有
No. Not right now.
尼克, 能帮我个忙吗? Nick, can you do me a favor?
好的 Okay.
捡起来 Pick that up.
- 蛋白质可提神 - 我们换换, 安德里亚 - Protein for stamina. - Let's switch, Andrea.
- 好的，我想该你了 - 好主意 - Okay. I suppose it's your turn. - Yeah, good idea.
保持新鲜 帮助我们通过第二轮 Keep things fresh and help us fight that second-round lag.
- 什么意思? - 是第二轮谈话... - What's that? - That's a conversational lag...
常在要第二次酒时发生 that often occurs after the ordering of the second round.
事实上, 尼克在告诉我 你和他妈妈的关系 Actually, Nick was telling me about you and your relationship with his mother.
- 没什么秘密，她是我姐姐 - 你和她的关系如何 - No secret there. She's my sister. - Your relationship with her.
不是你和她的关系 尼克说他们不答腔 Not your relationship to her. Nick says they don't speak.
可怕 我是说，你需要你的家庭 That's terrible. I mean, you need your family.
- 是的 - 你认为发生了什么, 尼克? - Yeah. - What do you think happened, Nick?
我妈妈比罗杰大很多 大概差9岁 My mom's a lot older than Roger. Like nine years.
你肯定很吃惊, 罗杰 You must have been quite the little surprise, Roger.
9岁的差距并不意味着不能怀孕 A nine-year gap doesn't necessarily mean an unplanned pregnancy.
但显然，我确实有些吃惊 But, apparently, I did come as a bit of a surprise.
真的? 我不知道这事 Really? I didn't know that.
那并不能解释 为什么你与姐姐相处不好 That doesn't explain why you and your sister don't get along.
这么说吧 我们缺乏共同点 Let's just say we don't have much in common.
我妈妈说，罗杰小的时候 他能为自己开脱任何麻烦 My mom says that when Roger was little, he could talk himself out of anything.
他从没惹上麻烦 即使他被抓住 He never got in trouble, even when he got caught.
- 她称他是"Roger Dodger"(鬼罗杰) - 这对你太合适了 (dodger 躲闪者, 欺瞒者) - She called him "Roger Dodger." - That's perfect foryou.
口才好并没错 尼克遗传到了 There's nothing wrong with a high verbal ability. Nick's got it too.
我想象爷爷，他几乎不说话 I wanna be like Granddad. He almost never talks.
但他一旦说话 每个人都侧耳倾听 But when he does, everyone kind of leans forward.
你知道，我爸爸就是那样 You know, my dad's like that.
区别在于 我爸爸所说的 The difference being that what my father has to say is usually...
常常是些"再搞点伤回来" some variation on, "Get me another scotch."
- 有其父必有其子? - 不，有其女 - Like father, like son? - No, like daughter.
- 我搞到-- - 谁的女儿? - I get my-- - Whose daughter?
- "有其女"你指什么？ - 开玩笑 - What do you mean, "like daughter?' - No joke.
妈妈在洗衣篮里藏有酒 有好多年了 Mom keeps a bottle in the laundry basket. She has foryears.
- 噢，上帝, 尼克 - 那太糟了 - Oh, God, Nick. - That's awful.
她不是象落魄的人 她只是-- 你叫它什么? She's not a wreck or anything. She's just-- What do you call it?
- 超常运作 - 是. 那就是苏珊 - High-functioning. - Yeah. That's Susan all right.
她总是超常运转 She's always functioned at a high level.
- 她真的很高尚，你知道？ - 你怎能开那玩笑? - She's just really high, you know? - How can you joke about that?
你能开任何事的玩笑 只要它和你有关 You can joke about anything that has to do with yourself.
这是基本的人权 对不对, 尼克? It's a basic human right. Isn't that right, Nick?
我想那是合乎宪法的 I think that's constitutional or something.
言论自由、玩笑自由 Freedom of speech. Freedom to joke.
你知道什么? 我要去洗手间 You know what? I need the ladies' room.
我们让男士们讨论这些新发现 Let's let the boys discuss these new revelations.
- 好主意 - 我不-- 好吧 - Good idea. - I don't-- All right.
好吧 All right.
小心，我们在等 Be careful. We'll be waiting.
你今晚不想和人性交吗？ Are you sure you want to get laid tonight?
我认为你想了解 I thought you would like to know that.
想来这里学习的不是我 I am not the one who is here to learn.
对大多数人来说 这里的话是说过就忘 For most of us, this is a forgetting place.
- 好吗? - 我们在谈论爷爷 - All right? - We were talking about Granddad.
- 我想-- - 你以为有资格加入... - I figured-- - You felt qualified to jump in...
并且解释清楚那个特殊的话题吗? and expound on that particular topic?
是的，我很抱歉 That's right. I'm sorry.
你现在是那个话题的专家了 但很不适宜 You're an expert on that subject now. You guys are joined at the fucking hip.
我不想冷场 I wanted to keep the conversation going.
有4个人在这里 There are four of us in this booth.
把它想象成桥牌 Think of it as a game of bridge.
在桥牌中, 2人一组4人一桌 In bridge, you have two sets of partners, okay?
如果你想让别人 Ifyou hope to become the kind of man...
选择你进行游戏 that other men choose to go into battle with...
你就必须学会 领会同伴的意图 you have to learn to read your partner.
很明显 我今晚不想谈家里的事 It should have been obvious I don't want to talk about the family tonight.
在这之前... A little while ago...
我们在听索菲讲她自己口交的事 we were listening to Sophie describe herself giving a blow job.
Don't you think that's slightly more fertile ground...
你不认为那比你妈妈的洗衣篮更有趣吗？
than what's at the bottom ofyour mother's laundry basket?
尽你所能把话题扯回到 Pull your weight and steer the conversation back...
有关性的方面 to something in the same universe as sex.
记得吗, 今晚的主要目的? Remember, the thing that was supposed to be the primary focus this evening?
别让我采用“失败保险” Don't make me resort to the fail-safe.
- 你去哪里? - 对不起 - Where are you going? - Excuse me.
不，坏主意 No. Bad idea.
噢，上帝 Ah,Jesus.
那里没事吧? Everything okay over there?
不，你站那里我尿不出来 No. I can't go with you standing there.
- 为什么? - 就是不能。出去 - Why not? - I just can't. Get out of here.
有个害羞的膀胱不能安度一生, 尼克 Can't go through life with a shy bladder, Nick.
你要在酒吧呆下去了 You're gonna be spending a lot of time in bars.
大部分酒吧有象这样休息室 Most of them will have restrooms just like this one.
好，那你尿 你先尿 Fine. Then you go. You go first.
我不用，我只是来洗手 I don't have to. Just came in to rinse my hands.
算了吧 Forget it.
- 走吧，孩子 - 不，我和别人来的 - Let's go, kid. - No, look. I'm with somebody.
罗杰叔叔, 你能告诉他吗？ 他不-- Uncle Roger, could you please tell him? He doesn't--
- 你怎么? - 不，我不认识他 - How you doing? - No, I don't know him.
- 该睡觉了孩子，走吧 - 罗杰叔叔 - Bedtime, kid. Let's go. - Uncle Roger.
- 快点，孩子，出去 - 你能-- - Come on, kid. Out. - Could you please--
他是我-- 罗杰叔叔! 真的，回去吧 He's my-- Uncle Roger! Really, go back in there.
你瞧，我是个演员 我在体验生活 Look, I'm an actor. I'm researching a role.
- 祝你好运 - 好的 - Good luck with that. - Okay.
- 你没事? - 噢，嗨 - You okay? - Oh, hey.
我想我应该等等再用洗手间 I guess I should've waited to use the bathroom.
在这里闲聊的新鲜感已经消失 Okay. Unless the novelty of hanging out with prom king here has worn off...
我建议带瓶酒去找个景色好的地方 I suggest we get a bottle and find someplace with a view.
- 好的，我们去找景色 - 去找景色，女士们 - All right. Let's find a view. - Let's find a view. Ladies.
- 那差不多 - 好了，谢谢 - That was close. - That's good. Thank you.
- 这是最好的 - 好了，一点点就行 - This is the finest. - That's good.Just a little bit.
谢谢 Thankyou.
来一点，好了，好了 Just a little. That's good. That's good.
- 你喜欢酒吗? - 喜欢 - How do you like the wine? - I like it.
它使我胸腔温暖 It makes my chest feel warm.
- 罗杰, 你教坏的 - 是，是我 - Roger, you're a bad influence. - Yes, I am.
- 酒精, 道德放纵的女人 - 还有赌博 - Alcohol, women of loose morals. - And gambling.
对，赌博 That's right. Gambling.
尼克没有抱怨 I don't see Nick complaining.
尽管我有话谈放纵的女人 Although I have to say, forwomen ofloose morals...
今晚的谈话到现在有点沉闷 conversation has been pretty tame so far tonight.
除了索菲的“口”头描述 With the notable exception of Sophie's oral presentation.
住嘴 Shut up.
若让尼克听听女士对性的领悟 对他会有好处的 It'd be helpful for Nick to hear more of the female perspective of the sex act.
- 你同意吗? - 上帝 - Do you agree? - God.
从哪儿开始? Where to begin?
尼克起个头吧. 尼克? Nick will get us started. Nick?
开始吧 Go ahead.
问吧，你想问什么都行 Ask away. Any question you like.
要有趣些 Keep it interesting.
好的 All right.
我很想知道你们的第一次是怎样的 I guess I'd like to know what your first time was like.
- 这是第一个问题? - 这是个好问题 - That's what you come up with? - That is a great question.
谢谢 Thankyou.
我先讲 I'll go first.
- 那是我在三年级的时候 - 高中还是大学? - It was my junioryear. - High school or college?
高中 High school.
他叫 Bobby Rushton, 我们甚至没有约会 His name was Bobby Rushton, and we weren't even dating.
只是有一天我带他出去 心想就是他了 I just picked him out one day and decided he was gonna be the one.
- 为什么选他? - 幽默感? - Why did you pick him? - Sense of humor?
哈哈，我记得他很有趣，但... Ha-ha. He was funny, as I remember, but...
不仅仅是 it was something more than that.
It was like this vibe. It was like this vibe.
我知道他会很好 I knew he would be nice.
他不是很受欢迎 我想他不会向他的朋友吹嘘我的事 He wasn't very popular, and I didn't think he'd brag about me to his friends.
- 有点意思 - 他没有 - That's half the fun. - Well, he didn't.
他和我一样紧张 He was just as nervous as I was.
这是我选择他的部分理由 Which is part of the reason that I picked him...
因为我想有些控制权 because I think I wanted to have some control.
- 你明白? - 你也是他的第一个吗? - You know? - You were his first as well then?
是的。事实上，我和他一起买的避孕套 Yeah. In fact, I went with him to go get the condoms.
我们一直骑车穿过城镇 We biked all the way across town...
因为我们怕有人看到我们 because we were so afraid someone might see us.
- 为这事我们计划了一个月 - 我喜欢这个故事 - We planned the thing for a month. - I love this story.
- 是的 - 那, 在哪里? - Yes. - So, where did you, you know?
在我家，我的房间 It was in my house, in my room.
我父母外出过周末 My parents were away for the weekend.
- 你流血了? - 正常，不很多 - Did you bleed? - The usual. Not too bad.
等等，那第一次疼吗? Wait. So it hurts the first time?
刚开始 (first second 第一秒) Well, it really hurts...
确实疼 that first second.
之后，一切都不同了 And then after that, it's just new.
明白? 就象对你的身体的新感觉 You know? It's like this new feeling foryour body.
他怎么样? So how was he?
- 几秒就结束? - 不是! 他象马一样继续干 - Matter of seconds? - No way! He kept going like a champ.
实际上我不得不让他快点 I had to ask him to hurry up, actually.
哇! - Ow! - Yeah.
他承认了之前象疯了般手淫 所以他不想-- He did admit to masturbating like crazy beforehand so he wouldn't just--
- 象他没做过那事 - 不, 听起来他是个好男孩 - Like he wasn't doing that already. - No, he sounds like a nice guy.
- 听起来他象是美梦成真 - 他是个好男孩 - He sounds like a dream come true. - He was a nice guy.
他现在是个警察 他有4个孩子 He's a cop now. He's got four kids.
过早的性生活无疑是羞辱 Early sex is an absolute humiliation.
自我辩解 我的第一次很奇妙 Oh. Speak foryourself. My first time was wonderful.
是吗? Oh, yeah?
让我大胆地猜猜 Let me take a wild guess.
- 一个老绅士 - 你对了 - An older gentleman. - Right you are.
- 已婚? - 又对了 - Married? - Right again.
你有多大? How old were you?
19岁，刚上大学 I was 1 9. Freshman in college.
我想你没花多少时间和同室交流 Guess you didn't spend a lot of time getting to know your roommates.
对，对，我甚至不记得她们的长相 No. No, I don't even remember what they look like.
那发生了什么? So what happened?
不管相不相 他最终选择了他老婆 Well, believe it or not, he ended up staying with his wife.
有多大的可能性? What are the odds?
当你知道他不会离开她时 你怎么办? What did you do when you realized he wasn't going to leave her?
好了, 尼克, 我最终知道了... Well, Nick, I got over it eventually...
我发誓不再重复错误 and vowed not to repeat the mistake.
- 结果怎么样? - 几个月就不行了 - And how's that going? - Some months are better than others.
- 哦 - 索菲-- - Uh-huh. - Sophie--
- 我没说什么 - 我该怎么办？他们都结婚了 - I didn't say anything. - What can I do? They're all married.
我发誓不再唠叨，好吗 I promised I would not be a nag. It's okay.
你，高手 告诉我们你的第一次 You, hotshot. Tell us about your first time.
实际上，我觉得尼克的故事 会更有趣. 尼克? Actually, I think Nick's story is much more interesting. Nick?
- 我想听听 - 是的 - This I want to hear. - Yeah.
尼古拉斯? Nicholas?
嗯, 这很难承认，但... Well, this is hard to admit, but...
我没有性经验 I've never had sex.
你是处男? You're a virgin?
是的 Yes.
那好性感，是不是？ That is so sexy. Am I right?
- 那很剌激 - 真的? - It's hot. - Really?
- 是的 - 你有女朋友吗? - Yeah. - Do you have a girlfriend?
- 从来没有 - 吻过女孩吗? - No. Never. - Have you ever kissed a girl?
是的，高中时有几次玩 truth or dare 游戏 Yeah, a couple of times in junior high playing truth or dare...
但那不象是真的接吻 but they weren't like real kisses.
不用舌头? No tongue?
我想是, 那还不止 她们很生硬 I guess, but more than that. They were just stiff.
不是我想象的那样 Not like I imagined that they should be.
尼克, 过来一会 Nick, come here for a second.
噢，上帝 Oh, my God.
不要爱上我或者什么，好吗? Now, don't fall in love with me or anything, okay?
那只是帮你度过少年期 That was just to get you through junioryear.
好的 All right.
我情不自禁 想得到你的初吻 I couldn't resist being your first kiss.
那很好 That's right.
永远永远 你都是他的初吻 Forever and ever, you will be his first kiss.
- 别靠近我 - 行了，为了对称 - Get away from me. - Come on. For symmetry.
不，别想. 尼克 No, not a chance. Nick.
- 你什么感觉? - 我的心跳得很快 - How do you feel? - My heart is beating really fast.
- 他知道怎么回答 - 他吻得好吗? - He knows just what to say. - Is he a good kisser?
噢，他会让人伤心的 Oh, he's gonna break some hearts.
下边那个怎么样, 尼克? How 'bout down below, Nick?
有没有挺起来? Any, you know, vertical displacement?
别烦他 你干嘛，风流浪子? Leave him alone. How you doing, Casanova?
- 没什么 - 真的? - I'm okay. - Sure?
- 是的 - 那好 - Yeah. - Okay.
我承认，我结婚了 我把戒指放在皮夹里了 Look, I confess. I'm married. I keep my ring in my wallet.
结婚了也不行 Even ifyou were married.
好，好 Yeah, yeah.
那么, 尼克 So, Nick.
用点时间把这个归档以后用 你明白我的的意思吗？ Take a moment to file this away for later. You understand what I mean?
想想吧, 索菲 Just think, Sophie.
在未来的6个月中 尼克每次遗精，都会想到你 In the next six months, every time Nick jerks off, he'll be picturing you.
- 别那么卑鄙 - 我不会那么做 - Don't be an asshole. - I don't do that, okay?
没错 好了，我没结婚 It's true. Okay, so I'm not married.
重要的是得不到感情，明白吗? What's important is the emotional unavailability, right?
- 那就是你所寻找的 - 我要走了 - That's what you look for. - I'm leaving.
索菲, 你还没有给年轻的尼古拉斯... And, Sophie, you've even provided young Nicholas here...
特殊印象 帮他进入太虚幻境 with a particular image to help structure his fantasy.
去你的, 罗杰 你今晚有地方去吗? Fuckyou, Roger. Do you have a place to stay tonight?
- 他和我在一起 - 你可跟我们走 - He's staying with me. - You can come with us.
他跟我走 除非你做些有益的事 He's with me. Unless you're finally ready to do something constructive.
象 帮尼克进入高潮 怎么样, 索菲? Like help Nick have an orgasm, huh, Sophie?
- 该摆脱你叔叔了 - 你好恶心。我们走 - It's time to cut your uncle loose. - You're disgusting. We're outta here.
- 你小心些 - 安德里亚? - You take care. - Andrea?
- 噢, 恶心 - 去你的 - Oh, disgusting. - Fuckyou.
女士们? 我-- Ladies? I--
他说什么了吗? Was it something he said?
混蛋! Asshole!
不. 我不要-- 这是你的机会 But no. Don't I-- Okay, here's your chance.
你在说什么? 为何你那说那些? What are you talking about? Why did you say that?
好警察、坏警察 Good cop, bad cop.
我撒下了种子 现在去完成它，好吗? I planted the seed. Now go and close the deal, all right?
- 我不能去-- - 你以为能再找到更好的机会? - I can't go-- - You thinkyou'll get a better chance?
去，看在上帝的份上 记住主要目的 Go, for Christ's sake, and remember the primary objective.
去，去，去! Go, go, go!
跑, 尼克, 跑 Run, Nick, run.
索菲! Sophie!
嗨, 索菲. 对不起 Hey, Sophie. I'm sorry.
没关系的 他是个怪人不是你的错 Don't worry about it. It's not your fault he's a jerk.
我知道。我希望 不象这样子结束 I know. I wish it didn't have to just end like this.
我们要走了 We're going now.
我建议你取消打赌 回家 I suggest you call offyour bet and go home.
打赌的事是胡绉的 The bet thing was just bullshit, okay?
我知道 I know.
别太当回事，好吗? You take it easy, okay?
我想我们-- Look, I want us to--
别糟蹋我们今晚度过的好时光 Don't spoil the wonderful time we had tonight.
你明白? You know?
用这个记住我 This is to remember me by.
保重, 尼克 Take care, Nick.
我们需要象你这样的男人 We need more men like you.
嗨 Hey.
怎么回事? What happened?
什么？什么都没发生 What? Nothing happened.
那你完了 So you're oh for one.
她并不是想做那事 我不能请求她 She wasn't gonna go for it. I couldn't ask her.
- 你今晚想和索菲过夜? - 很显然，她不是-- - You gonna sleep with Sophie tonight? - It was obvious. She was not--
你今晚想和索菲性交吗？ Are you going to have sex with Sophie tonight?
- 不 - 那我就说：你完了 - No. - Then I repeat: you're oh for one.
You need to learn how to finish. Anyone can get halfway home. 你应该学会如何完成 谁都能半道回家
We're switching to plan B. Hey! 我们改按B计划行动. 嗨!
I think a change ofvenue will improve your luck. 我想 改变一下环境 会改善你的运气
Wait! Hold up! Stop! 等等! 等等! 停下!
Do me a favor. Stay here till we're inside. 听我的 等在这里直到进去
- So where we goin'? - Finish up. - 我们去哪里? - 完成
- We're going to a party. Come on. - Whose party is it? - 我们去个晚会，走 - 谁的晚会?
Fuck! Over here. Over here. Kao! 那里 那里
Look at this. Beautiful glasswork. 看看这个 漂亮的玻璃制品
Whoa, whoa. 哇，哇
Why we running? 为什么跑?
That doorman has a hateful personality. 看门人脾气不好
Listen up. It's gonna be a whole new dynamic up there. 听着，上面是另一种精力充沛的人
Stay focused. 机灵点
Don't talk to any guys. That's a definite rally-killer. 不要和任何人讲话 那定是个集会杀手
Keep moving at all times. No hiding in the bathroom. 保持四处转 不要藏在洗手间
Here we are. Hey. 到了。嗨
- Look who it is. - Hey, Chris. How are you? - 看看这是谁 - 嗨, 克莉丝. 你好吗?
This is my nephew Nick. Chris. 这是我侄子尼克. 克莉丝
- How are you? - How ya doin'? - 你好? - 你好?
Wait. Do you have a bathroom I could use? 等等，我可用用洗手间吗?
- A what? - A bathroom I could use? - 什么? - 用洗手间?
A what? 什么?
I've been trying to shake this woman all night. 我整晚都在试图把她摇醒
This is Donovan. 这是多诺万
I'm the only one here that's my age. 这里没有我同龄人
Where did you think we were going, the junior prom? 你以为我们去哪里 少年舞会?
I think I'm drunk. 我想我喝醉了
Come here. 过来
Nick. Do you know where we are? 尼克. 你知道我们在哪里吗?
- I thinkyou said Greenwich Street. - We're in winning time. - 我想你说过格林威治街 - 我们身处 决胜时刻
- Okay. Winning time. - Right. Okay? - 对，决胜时刻 - 是不是?
It's a little harder to recognize than when you're in a bar... 这比在酒吧难发现
but the concept is the same. 但概念是一样的
There's an incredible moment that happens when a party... 当晚会过了高潮
passes its apex, its peak. 就会有一个难以置信的时刻
As if by magic, suddenly every person in the room... 就象是魔法, 突然间这里所有的人
is acutely aware of the time. 都意识到了这个时刻
It is at that moment that the fear hits. 就在那个时刻 恐惧来临
- What fear? - The fear of the empty apartment. - 什么恐惧? - 对空房子的恐惧
Oh. Yeah. 噢，是的
That is more than most people can stand. 那是大多数人所不能忍受的
Desperation creeps into the room like a fog. 绝望象雾一般爬进房间
Eyes begin to search the crowd anxiously. 眼睛开始焦急地搜索人群
Standards are drastically lowered. I mean, it's palpable. 准则戏剧般地放低了 我是说，很明显地
- You know what I'm saying? - Not really. - 明白我所说的话吗? - 不是很懂
What I'm saying is, you have a real shot here, Nick. 我说的是, 你在这里完成真正的性交, 尼克
This is the moment that separates a true champion. 这是分出真正冠军的时刻
You remember the reason you first asked for my help? 还记得你请我帮助的理由吗?
The primary goal? 主要目标?
- Yes. - Then let me help you... - 是的 - 那就让我帮你...
to achieve it. 完成它
All right. So. 好的. 然后呢
We need to scope out who the drinkers are. 我们要看看喝酒的是谁
Every party needs a pace car, a rabbit. 每个晚会都需要一个开路车、一个野兔
Always look for the girls who are two drinks ahead of everybody else. 要不停地寻找 比别人多喝两杯的女孩
How do you do that? 怎么找?
Listen for inappropriately loud bursts of laughter... 倾听不适宜的大笑
or scan the crowd for somebody spilling a drink. 在人群中搜索洒酒的人
Check the dance floor for somebody working out of their zone. 在舞池中看谁线路舞错
How about them? They seem pretty drunk. 他们怎么了? 他们应该醉了
Good afternoon. 下午好
God, this is so embarrassing. I don't know how this happened. 上帝, 真不好意思 我不知是怎么搞的
I'm so sorry. I'm sorry. 非常抱歉 对不起
Hey, Donna. 嗨, 堂娜
- Hi. - How ya doin'? - 嗨 - 你怎么样?
- Well-- - Good. Listen. - 还好 - 很好，听着
This is my nephew I want to introduce. Nick. 这是我的侄子 我想介绍一下. 尼克.
- Hi. - I saw you earlier at the office. - 嗨 - 之前我在办公室见过你
Hi, Nick. Donna. 嗨, 尼克. 堂娜.
- Nice to see you. - You too. - 高兴见到你 - 我也是
- Roger's showing you the town? - Yeah, some of it. - 罗杰带你去城里看看? - 是，差不多
Yeah, Nick's visiting. 尼克的拜访
Why don't you tell Donna about the bet we got going. 为何不告诉堂娜我们打的赌呢
- See you in a second. - Huh? Wait. - 待会见 - 呃? 等等
What bet? What's he got you involved in? 什么打赌? 他让你参与了什么?
- Oh, it's nothing. Really. - What is this? - 没什么，真的 - 这是什么?
Oh, that. I don't even know. 那呀. 我都不知道
- It's cute. - Thanks. - 很可爱 - 谢谢
I don't even use it. 我都没用过它
Eighty. Hot. Eighty degrees. 80，刺激，80度
That is hot. Yeah. 是刺激，是的
We made a bet whether I can get someone to fall in love with me tonight. 我们打赌看我是否在今晚 能让某个人爱上我
Wow. 哇
- For how much? - A thousand bucks. - 赌多少? - 1千元
Get outta here. 算了吧
Well, so, how's it going so far? 那，现在进展怎么样?
Excuse me. Thankyou. 对不起 谢谢
Thankyou. Cheers. 谢谢，干杯
Yeah. 好
To love. 为爱
Oh, hello. 你好
You're not the infamous Roger Swanson I've heard so much about, are you? 你不是那个声名狼籍的的罗杰·斯温森吧？ 我听了不少你的事情
That's me. Yes. 是我，是的
Joyce says of all of her copy people, you are the funniest. 乔伊斯说她所有的撰稿人中 你最有趣
- I'm a laugh riot. - No, she says that. - 我是个暴笑者 - 她说过
- Why would I lie? - What's your name? - 我为何要说谎呢? - 你叫什么?
I'm sorry. I haven't introduced myself. 抱歉，我还没介绍自己
I'm Patricia.Joyce and I went to college together. 我叫帕特夏. 我和乔伊斯是校友
Nice to meet you. Patty, would you do me a favor? 高兴认识你 帕特, 能帮我个忙吗?
Sure. I can certainly try. 当然，我可试试
See that kid right over there in the corner? 看到角落里的那孩子吗？
- Yeah. - That's my nephew Nick. - 是的 - 那是我侄子尼克
- Oh, really. He's so cute. - He is. - 是吗，他很可爱 - 是的
- He's still a virgin. - No! - 他还是个处男 - 不!
- Swear to God. - Poor boy. How old is he? - 向上帝发誓 - 可怜的孩子，他多大了?
He's 1 6. Now, listen. 16岁。听着
My time with Joyce taught me that older women fuck like jackrabbits... 我和乔伊斯的相处告诉我 老一些的女人做爱象长耳大野兔
and Nick is at his absolute peak sexually. 尼克的性欲正处在顶峰
So, I figure, the two ofyou go at it... 所以我想 你们两个去做爱
it would be like Frazier and Ali. 就会象弗雷泽和阿里 (干得热火朝天，哈哈)
- Right? - Something is wrong with you. - 好吗? - 你是不是有病
No, I'm serious. What do you say? 不，我是认真的 怎么样?
- As a kind of a... - I'm gonna-- - 就象是... - 我要走--
Red Cross moment or-- 红十字会 或 --
Okay. Nice to see you. 好吧，高兴见到你
- How's it goin' over here? - Hey, Roger. - 这里进行得怎么样? - 嗨, 罗杰.
- Now, who let you in? - Who let me in? You let me in. - 谁让你进来的? - 谁让我进来的？你呀
What? 什么?
You know, Nick here is a real ladies' man. 你知道，尼克对女人最合适
You're lucky he's spending all this time with you. 你很幸运 你一直都陪你
Yeah, that's me. The lucky lady. 是我，幸运的女人
Actually... I think I had too much to drink. 实际上...我想我喝的太多了
- Uh-oh. - Would you like to lie down? 想躺一会吗?
Nick, Nick. Excellent idea. 尼克, 尼克 好主意
Good one. Come on, darling. Let's find you a place to lie down. 好主意，来吧，亲爱的 我们找个地方让你躺躺
Oh, no.Just when things were getting good. 不，刚刚有点好玩
Things are still good. 会好玩的
- Come on. - Where are we going? - 来吧 - 我们去哪里?
- We're going. - We are? - 我们去 - 我们?
We're going right around this little corner. 我们拐个弯就到了
- Here we go. - I forgot to eat. - 到了 - 我忘吃东西了
Nick, stay with us. Keep close. 尼克, 和我们一起 靠近些
- Okay. - Good. - 好的 - 好
- All right. So I'll just-- - Oh, excellent. - 那我要-- - 很好
- Are you all right? - I'll just leave you two together. - 你没事吧? - 你让你们单独一起
- Okay. - No, don't go. - 好的 - 不, 别走
- You're in capable hands, believe me. - What are you doing? - 你能做到，相信我 - 你在干什么?
Hang on a second. 等一会
What are we gonna do? 我们要做什么?
We are not gonna do anything... at all. 我们 什么都不做
I'll be on guard duty, okay? 我去放哨, 好吗?
You need to work fast. If I were you, I'd switch to the two-minute offense. 你要动作要快点。若我是你 我会2分钟搞定
What are you talking about? Wait, Uncle Roger-- 你在说什么? 等等，罗杰叔叔--
Love you. 我爱你
Don't go. 别走
Oh, let me introduce you. 噢，我来给你介绍
This is Donovan Lehman, Christopher Weland... 这是多诺万·莱门 克里斯托弗
our two collaborators. 我们的合作者
I think they're gonna be perfect foryou. 我想他们对你会有帮助
You told me you wanted something a little bit magic, a bit surreal. 你告诉我你要来点离奇的，超现实的
Hey, hey, Donovan. How are you, man? 嗨，嗨, 多诺万 你好，伙计?
- Roger. Hey, man. - How are you? - 罗杰，你好，伙计 - 你好?
Hey, Chris. 嗨, 克莉丝
Look at you two. 看看你们两人
You seem like the happy couple. What's your secret? 看起来想是幸福的一对 你的秘密是什么？
Sorry. You know what they say about dipping the pen in the company ink. 抱歉，你明白他们所说的 蘸公司的墨水
- I guess so. - I know what they say. Yes, they do. - 我想是的 - 我知道他们说的什么
All right. 好的
Look at you. 看看你
Go to sleep. 去睡吧
I think we got sidetracked there. 我想我们在这里并不重要
Seriously, Donovan, with all the pressure facing men today... 说实话, 多诺万 面对时代的多重压力
it's got to be tough to maintain a relationship. 要得到一种关系 就要坚强些
I don't know. Let's ask a man. Chris? 我不清楚 让我问个人. 克莉丝?
Traditional male roles are being tossed aside... 在我们还没机会意识到时
before we have any chance to make an internal shift, don't you think? 男人传统的作用已被抛弃，是不是？
Our culture seems designed to emasculate and infantilize. 我们的文化象是设计成了 使柔弱和幼儿化
- That's a strong statement. - Why don't you go and... - 这措词很强烈 - 怎么不去...
help yourself to some food? 吃点什么?
It's particularly true in a situation when the woman is... 特别是当女人比男人
two decades older than the man. 大20岁时更是如此
- Roger! - Approximately. - 罗杰! - 大概是
We were having this discussion the other day-- 若这个谈话发生在另一天--
Is it your mission in life to humiliate yourself? 你一生的目标就是羞辱你自己？
It's more of a hobby really. 只是习惯罢了
I want you to leave right now. 我要你立刻离开
You want me to leave and go where? 你让我离开 去哪里?
Think very hard about what you're doing. 好好想想你在干什么
Go where,Joyce? Where do you want me to go? 去哪里, 乔伊斯? 你想让我去哪里?
You're through. 你完蛋了
You lied to me. You are a liar. 你对我撒谎 你是个骗子
- I want you to leave. - Who's he? - 我要你离开 - 他是谁?
Who the fuck is he? 他到底是谁?
Who is he? What-- 他是谁? 什么--
Don't get comfortable. 别太放肆
Don't ever settle in like you own the place. Trust me. 别以为这是你的地方，相信我
There's always something gaining on you. 总有些人强过你
And here they come now. Hey, guys. Good luck. 他们来了 嗨，伙计们，好运
Sorry. Take care now. 抱歉，保重了
Let me get a coat here. Take care. 我拿一下衣服 保重
Nice to see you. Thanks, Joyce! Bye-bye! 高兴见到你 谢谢, 乔伊斯! 再见!
What just happened? 发生了什么?
Excuse me. I'm sorry. 抱歉，对不起
That didn't go exactly as I had hoped. 这并不是我所希望的
What happened in there? What were you shouting about? 那里发生了什么? 你在吼什么?
Doesn't matter. What about you? 没关系 你怎么样?
- Did you get it on with Donna? - No. - 你和堂娜入巷了? - 没有
- Why not? - Are you kidding? She was passed out! - 为何没有? - 开玩笑？她睡着了!
Nick, you have had one golden opportunity after another this evening. 尼克, 你今晚失去两次好机会了
You haven't exactly shown yourself to be a clutch player. 你没有在“决胜时刻”好好表现
- Hey! - What happened in there? - 嗨! - 那里发生了什么?
- Are you drunk? - I'm going home. - 你喝醉了? - 我要回家了
- Where do you need to be dropped? - What? - 你要从哪里下车? - 什么?
That's it? 就这样?
We've had a full evening. I thinkyou're ready to fly solo. 我们过了一整晚 我想你可以放单飞了
- You said there was a fail-safe. - What fail-safe? - 你说有失败保险 - 什么失败保险？
Back at the bar. You said there was a fail-safe. 在酒吧 你说有失败保险
Did I? 我说过?
- I don't thinkyou want the fail-safe. - No, I want it! Just stop. - 我想你不需要失败保险 - 不，我需要！停下
- You sure? - Yes, I'm sure. - 你肯定? - 是，我肯定
I'm not going home like this, all right? 我不想这样回家，好吗?
I'm sure. Okay? 我肯定，好吗?
You know what? You're right. 知道吗? 你是对的
Why give into a slump? Let's go down swinging. 为什么会失败? 我们要体面地失败 (?做最后一击)
- Yes. Like Michael Jordan. - Right. - 对，象迈克尔 乔丹 - 对
That's the wrong sport, but I like your enthusiasm. Let's go. 那不是个好运动 但我欣赏你的热情 我们走吧
All right. Thanks. 好的，谢谢
Come on. Come on. 走，走，走，走
Hey. Two of us. 嗨，2个人
That's 200. 200元
One... two. 1...2
- Is he a minor? - I'm an actor. I'm researching a role. - 他未成年? - 我是演员，在体验生活
It's a hundred to fuck me. 操我要100元
Tip. 小费
Come on. 来呀
Wait.Just slow down. 等等，慢点
Please slow down. 请慢点
- We're goin' home. - Hey! Hey! - 我们回家 - 嗨! 嗨!
- What are you doing? - Easy, easy. - 你干什么? - 放松，放松
Get outta here. Motherfucker, get off me! 离开这里 妈的, 放开我!
Motherfucker, get off me! 妈的, 放开我!
- Get off me! - Get outta here! - 放开我! - 离开这里!
Nick! 尼克!
Nick. 尼克.
Nick, don't worry about it. 尼克, 别担心
It's okay. It's all right! 没问题，行了!
Nick! 尼克!
Chill! 扫兴!
It's all right, man. 没事的
Jesus. 上帝
Fucking booze. 臭酒
Come on. 走吧
Come here. 过来
-Jesus. - Don't tell-- - 上帝 - 别告诉--
Go to sleep. 睡觉吧
Okay. 好了
Roger, pick up the goddamn phone. 罗杰, 拿起电话
Nick is gone. No one's seen him in two days. 尼克走了 2天来没人见到他
I am frrantic, and I needyou to call me, please. 我都发疯了 请你给我回电话
Oh, my God. 噢，上帝
There's coffee. 那有咖啡
I don't drink caffeine. 我不喝咖啡
Yes. 哦
I keep losing my balance. 我一直站不稳
- That'll pass. - Yeah. - 会过去的 - 是的
So, Nick... 那, 尼克...
tell me more about Columbia. 多给我讲讲哥伦比亚大学的事
What did you think of the campus? 你对大学有什么看法
I don't know. It was fine. 我不知道 那不错
Did you... Iook around the neighborhood? 你有没有四处看看?
Maybe you could tell me about the different things you saw on your tour. 或许你可以告诉我 和你路途中所见的不同处
I'm sorry I got so mad. 抱歉，我发疯了
You're what? 你怎么了?
Last night. 昨晚
You were trying to teach me the way that things are done, and I-- 你昨晚努力教我完成那事，而我--
I guess I kept fucking it up. So-- 我想都是我搞砸了，所以
So I shouldn't have gotten so mad. 所以我不该那么疯
I'm... sorry I disappointed you. 我抱歉让你失望
Uh-huh. Okay. 呃，没事
Anyone can have an off night. It's happened to me. 谁都有过毫无所获的夜晚 我也经历过
You said you score every night. 你说过你每晚都有所获
I say a lot of things. Look, Nick. 我说过很多事情 听着, 尼克
Call your mom, will you? 打电话给你妈妈，好吗?
I'm sure she would like to hear from you. 我肯定她在期待你的电话
Forget it. I'll see her when I get home. 算了吧，我回家就看到她了
Call her anyway. Come on. 打给她 快
I'll leave you to it. 你自己处理吧
I guess I'll see you at the next funeral. 我想我会在下个葬礼再见到你
Why? Who's sick? 怎么? 谁病了?
What? No, I'm kidding. 什么? 不, 我在开玩笑
Me too. 我也是
All right. Good-bye, Uncle Roger. 好的 再见，罗杰叔叔
See you, Nick. 再见, 尼克
Don't tip. I got it. 别谢我，我已得到了
How long does it usually take to get to the airport? 去机场要多长时间?
- About a half hour, sir. - Right. - 大约一个半小时 - 好的
You see Angela today? 你今天见安吉拉了吗?
- How come? - No bra. - 怎么了? - 没胸
I swear to God. 我对上帝发誓
That's unhealthy. They're gonna sag when she gets older. 那不健康，她老时胸部会耷拉下来
Fuck 'em up. 一边去吧
So go tell her, Nick. 去告诉她, 尼克
What? 什么?
Go tell her. 去告诉她
Yeah, maybe she doesn't know. 对，或许她不知道
- You know, you'd be doing her a favor. - Yeah. - 你这样做是帮她的忙 - 对
A true favor. 帮大忙
Yeah. 对
Look who dropped by for a visit. 看看谁来了
Girls. 女孩们
Young women. 年轻女士
Female human beings. 女性
Female hearts beating beneath... 雌性心脏在那...
those tight sweaters. 紧绷绷的毛线衫下跳动
Feminine blood coursing through theirveins. 阴性血液在她们血管中流淌
Living, breathing girls. 鲜活可爱的女孩子们
What are you young men in the prime ofyour lives doing about this? 你们这些小伙子 在青春期怎么应对这事呢？
I'm doing plenty. 我要大干
- Yeah? You're getting plenty of action? - Oh, yeah. - 你要大干一场? - 是的
He has to beat 'em off with a stick. 他要用一根棍 打败她们
Unfortunately, I'm not talking about "whack-off.com," okay? 不幸的是，我不是在说"whack-off.com"
I'm talking about the girls in this room. 我在说这房间里的女孩
I'm talking about communicating. 我说的是沟通
I'm talking about engaging. 我在说 魅力
I'm talking about standing up from this... 我是说从这个全男性的、 星际迷航式谈话
guys-only, StarTrek-convention, frankly, homoerotic little group... 同性小团体中站出来
and introducing yourself to one of these girls. 把自己介绍给那些女孩之一
Yeah, but I always get so nervous. 对，但我总是会紧张
Why? There's nothing at stake. 为什么? 又没有什么危险
If there was a chance ofyou actually getting laid... 假如你有机会被...
then you'd have a reason to be nervous. 那你才有理由紧张
Try working someone in a bar for three hours... 在3小时之内搞定酒吧里一个人
and then you gotta close the deal right before last call. 那你必须按时完成
That's pressure. Okay? 那才是压力，对不对?
You guys can treat this like it's a warm-up. 你们可以把这当做热身
You're trying to find your style. So you get nervous? 你在寻找你的风格 所以你紧张?
Maybe you're the nervous guy. Maybe that's your hook. 或许你紧张 或许那就是你的鱼铒
So go ahead and blush. Stutter all you want. 所以尽管去脸红 结结巴巴地说出你的想法
Show her how she makes you feel. 让她知道你的感觉
Think of it. You're combining honesty and flattery. 想想吧，你在用诚实和恭维组合拳
- That's lethal. - Yeah, but... - 那是致命的 - 是，但是...
you can't let a girl know how nervous you are. 你不能让女孩知道你有多紧张
You gotta let her know you're in control, right? 你必须让她知道你在控制，对不?
"In control"? Who is this guy? "控制"? 谁能做到?
You're in high school. You don't control any-- Look at your face. 你们是在中学，你不控制什么-- 看看你的脸
Look at what you're eating, for Christ's sake. 看看你在吃什么
Look at that shirt. 看看那衬衫
In control. 控制！
All right. 好了
Who's the one you guys are all desperate to talk to? 你们最想跟谁说话？
Angela. 安吉拉
Definitely. 没错
- Angela. - Okay. Here's what you could say. - 安吉拉 - 你们可以这样说
Hi, Angela. My name is-- What is it? 嗨, 安吉拉 我叫-- 叫什么?
- Darren. - My name is Darren. - 戴伦. - 我叫戴伦
Every time I see you in the hall, I have the urge to talk to you. 每次看见你 都有和你说话的冲动
So I try to think of something clever to say... 所以我努力搜刮想说点机敏的
but I get so nervous... 可我太紧张了
that nothing comes out. 以致什么也想不出来
We don't know each other right now, but I'd like to maybe... 我们现在还互不相识 但我很想 比如...
invite you out for a soda sometime so that we could talk. 找时间请你去喝点什么 以便我们可以谈话
I'd like to see what we have in common. 我想知道我们有什么共同点
But most of all, I'm curious to find out... 但最主要的是 我很想知道...
what kind of person you really are... 你是怎样的人
because I am tired of looking at you from a dist-- 因为我已经够了远远地看着你
And so on and so forth. 等等等等
Take that out for a spin. See how it works. 那样编个故事 看它灵不灵
Yeah. See her turn around and walk back to the jock table. 她会转过身 回到别的桌上
- Yeah. - If that happens... - 对 - 如果是那样
you go to sleep knowing you gave it your best shot. 你睡着了都不知道你中了大奖 (已经有了效果)
Remember, she has to show you something as well. 记住，她也会给你看些什么 (她也会有所反应)
I'd love it if Angela showed me something. 如果安吉拉给我看看什么 我会很高兴
- Yeah. Two things. - Yeah! - 对，两个东西 - 对!
I'd lick 'em. 我会舔他们
Well, I tried. Hang in there, Nick. 好吧，我尽力了 不用送了, 尼克
Wait. You're going? 等等，你要走了?
Yeah, I gotta get home, look forwork. 是的，我要回去，找工作
As we speak, consumers everywhere need reminding... 就象所说 消费者需要被提醒
of just how fat and unattractive they are. 他们有多胖多不美
Nice meeting you, men. 高兴见到你们
Keep your sense of humor. 保持幽默感
In ten years, you won't even remember what this place looks like. Trust me. 10年后这个地方什么样你们都不会记得 相信我
Dude, your uncle is strange. 伙计，你叔叔很奇怪
Yeah, I know. I guess he is. 是，我知道 我想他是的
Yeah, but he's cool. You gonna visit him again? 但他很酷 你还要拜访他吗?
I don't know. 我不知道
What? 什么?
What? 怎么?
Hey, Nick. 嗨, 尼克
Some guy, I guess he's your uncle... 有个人，我想他是你叔叔
he said you had something to tell me. 他说你有事要告诉我
He said it would "blow my mind." 他说那足以让我大吃一惊
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