王八蛋們！ Motherfuckers!
操 Fuck.
操！ Fuck!
咱快到家了，哥們兒！ We're almost home, buddy!
哥叫艾倫，哥買了一頭長頸鹿！ My name's Alan and I bought a giraffe!
它是哥的了！ He's all mine!
它超級友善！ He's super friendly!
看那頭長頸鹿 Look at the giraffe.
天哪 你估計它要去哪兒？ Oh, my God. Where do you think it's going?
我的人生充實了！我有一個美好的人生！ Oh, my life is great! I have a wonderful life!
我有一個美好的人生！ I have a wonderful life!
是的，先生 我一定會的 Yes, sir. Absolutely, I will.
太謝謝您了 不是，當然了 Thank you so much. No, of course.
不是吧，又這樣，我很抱歉 No, no. And again, I'm so sorry.
市長剛剛打來，艾倫 That was the mayor, Alan.
這是個意外 It was an accident.
你說過不管我做什麼你都會愛我的 You said you'd always love me no matter what I did.
我愛你 你是我最好的朋友 I know and I do. You're my best friend.
但是，艾倫，為啥你要買長頸鹿呢？ But, Alan, why would you buy a giraffe?
我一直想要一頭 I've always wanted one.
我可以拿我的樹屋餵它 I could feed him from my tree house.
而且，我覺得我很像它 Besides, they remind me a lot of myself.
怎麼像了？ In what way?
像它一樣高貴冷艷有內涵 They're majestic, pensive and tall.
- 有內涵？ - 沒錯 - Pensive? - Yeah.
- 你從哪學的這個詞？ - 和朋友們玩填字遊戲 - Where'd you learn that word? - "Words With Friends."
- 什麼朋友？ - 系統隨機分配的 - What friends, Alan? - You can set it on random.
艾倫，拋開這個不說，你害的一條高速公路都關了… Alan, aside from the fact that you shut down a freeway...
還殺了一頭野生動物 you murdered a wild animal.
這可是大新聞 It's national news.
你根本不知道 You don't want to know
我花了多少錢來擺平這件事 the checks I had to write to fix this.
拜託 我們很有錢 Oh, please. We're rich.
有錢就屌咩？艾倫 We are not anything, Alan.
我是有錢 都把你養到40歲了… I am well-off. You are my 40-year-old son...
42歲 我42歲了！ Forty-two. I'm 42!
42歲還住在家裡 42-year-old son who still lives at home.
你要繼續接受治療了 You are to go back on your medication
否則我就不給你錢花了 or I'm cutting you off.
別鬧了 什麼時候吃晚飯？ You're bluffing. When's dinner?
我和你媽都不能忍了！ Your mother and I can't take this anymore!
- 好把，你或許應該去治療下 - 我不要！ - Well, you might have to. - I can't do it!
我不要這樣！ I cannot do this!
# 我再也不在乎你說的話了 # # I don't care what you say anymore #
艾倫！艾倫！ Alan! Alan!
歡迎 Ave
瑪利亞 Maria
天啊，他唱的真好聽 My God, he's got the voice of an angel.
讓人透不過氣來 It's breathtaking.
歡迎 Ave
瑪利亞 Maria
我不敢相信我爸死了 I can't believe my daddy is dead.
我想起了許多可以死在他之前的人 I can think of so many people I would rather have died first.
譬如說我媽 Like my mother.
正如你們所知 As many of you know...
我爸和我很要好 my father and I were extremely close.
他是我生活的伴侶 He was my life partner.
像每日必修的功課一樣，他經常跟我說 He would often tell me, almost on a daily basis...
我是他最愛的孩子 that I was his favorite child.
我會永遠記得他跟我說的最後一句話 I'll always remember the last words he said to me:
我為你驕傲，艾倫 "I'm proud of you, Alan.
一直都是 Never change."
嗯… Well...
爸，我聽見了 I heard you loud and clear, Daddy.
我不會變了 I will never change.
永遠不會 Never, ever.
媽呀 Oh, Mom.
你繼續吧 Go ahead, chief.
希德·加納是位好丈夫 Sid Garner was a beloved husband...
好父親和好鄰居 father and neighbor.
真是難過的一天 Wow, rough day.
- 沒錯，崔西最近好嗎？ - 不怎麼好 - Yeah, how's Tracy doing? - Not great.
她媽處在崩潰邊緣 Her mother's totally on the edge,
而且如果這不夠… and if all this weren't enough...
顯然艾倫放棄治療快半年了 apparently Alan's been off his meds for almost six months.
天啊 Oh, boy.
這可不太好 Yeah, it has not been pretty.
然後出了長頸鹿那碼子事 Then there's the whole fucking giraffe thing.
我倒覺得挺有趣的 I thought that was pretty funny.
- 什麼？ - 拜託，他殺了一頭長頸鹿 - What? - Come on. He killed a giraffe.
誰他媽的在乎？ Who gives a fuck?
我不打算說什麼 You know, I wasn't gonna say anything,
但是艾倫最近經常來我的診所 but Alan's been stopping by my office lately.
開玩笑吧？去你那兒操嘛？ You're kidding me. What for?
我不知道 I don't know.
他就一直呆在等候區 He just sits in the waiting room
讀著Highlights（全球知名兒童刊物） and reads Highlights magazine.
做填字遊戲什麼的，然後就走了 Fills in the puzzles, whatever he can, and then leaves.
看啊 Check it out.
天啊，你要對他做什麼？ Jesus, what are you gonna do with him?
事實上，我想跟你說 Actually, I wanted to talk to you guys about that.
琳達一直想送艾倫去治療 Linda really wants to stage an intervention for him.
真的嗎？ An intervention? Really?
聽起來不錯 I think that sounds like a great idea.
但是… Yeah, the thing is...
她很確信艾倫是不會去的 she's pretty convinced he won't agree to it
除非我們幾個去勸 unless all of us are there.
你懂艾倫的 I mean, you know how he is.
我不懂，這太難懂了 I don't know. It seems a little extreme to me.
天啊，你看看他 Oh, God. Look at him now.
好吧，我去，什麼時候？ Okay, I'm in. When are we doing it?
今天我們跟崔西談了談 So we talked to Tracy today...
她說他們找的那地方設備挺不錯 and she said that the treatment facility that they found is really nice.
環境也好 我上網查了 確實如此 It's beautiful. I checked it out online. Great reputation.
誰他媽管？再好也是在亞利桑那州 Who gives a fuck? It's in Arizona.
開車去個來回也要兩天吧？ We gotta go on like a two-day drive for this shit?
走吧 Here we go.
他們應該省著點錢 They should just save their money
送艾倫去個減肥夏令營什麼的 and send him to fat camp.
- 菲爾 - 咋了？ - Phil. - What?
他該減肥了 He should lose weight.
他得找個伴兒 He'll find a woman.
那哥們太寂寞了 The dude's lonely.
如果他寂寞 If he's so lonely,
那你為什麼不多花點時間陪他呢？ why don't the you spend more time with him?
不，相信我，你也不會這樣做的 No, trust me, you don't want that.
不 你絕對不會想的 No. You definitely don't want that.
拜託，他沒那麼爛 Come on. He's not that bad.
我是說，還會發生什麼更爛的事情呢？紋身（宿醉2）？ I mean, what's the worst that's happened? The tattoo?
沒錯，紋身那次最爛了 Yeah, the tattoo's the worst.
是吧？ Right?
絕對是，紋身那次絕對是噩夢 Definitely. Tattoo was the worst. Nightmare.
說到紋身，你後來去檢查過嗎？ Speaking of which, you ever get tested?
什麼？ Excuse me?
那些紋身的墨水 You know, because of the ink.
它們進入了你的體內 That went inside you.
我沒事 I'm fine.
- 注意安全 - 好的，明天見 - Take care. - All right, good luck tomorrow.
謝謝 Oh, thanks.
- 11點我來接你 - 完美 - I'll pick you up at 11. Perfect.
太謝謝你了 Thank you so much.
謝謝 Thanks.
- 再次謝謝你們來 - 沒關係 - Again, thank you so much for coming. - Oh, of course.
這位是尼克 艾倫的一位好朋友 This is Nico. Nico is a good friend of Alan's.
- 你好嗎？ - 好 - What's up, bros? - Oh, yeah, hey.
這是布蘭卡 And that's Blanca.
她一直照顧艾倫到大 Blanca's been with us since Alan was a baby.
- 你好 - 你好 - Hello. - Hello.
這位是提摩西，住在對面 And this is Timothy. Timothy lives across the street.
他經常和艾倫一起游泳 He and Alan swim together.
- 你好嗎？ - 嘿 - Hey, what's up, little man? - Hey.
- 坐吧，你們 - 嗯 - Why don't you guys take a seat? - Yeah.
崔西載著艾倫在回來的路上 Tracy's on her way back with Alan right now.
他顯然不知道接下來要發生什麼@ Obviously, he has no idea this is coming,
所以一會兒氣氛會有點緊張 so things might get a little intense.
但不管發生什麼，記住 But, no matter what happens, remember:
這都是為了艾倫好 This is all about Alan getting better.
媽，我要奧利奧冰沙 Mother, Oreo smoothie, now!
大家好 Hey, everyone.
嘿，提摩西，今天去游泳有點冷吧？ Hey, Timothy. Little cold for a swim, isn't it?
你今天去了碼頭 玩的開心嗎？ You went to the pier today. How was that?
- 開心 - 沒錯 - We had a great time. - Yeah.
我玩了會兒滑雪球，大概有45分鐘吧 I played skee ball for, like, 45 minutes.
真是很爛的鍛煉 It was a pretty sick workout.
怎麼了？ What's going on?
呃，你坐下吧，哥們 Uh, why don't you have a seat, bud?
我們想跟你聊會兒 We just want to talk to you for a sec.
好吧 Okay.
嘿，菲爾 Hey, Phil.
- 耶 - 最近怎樣？ - Yeah. - What's going on?
你牛逼 Oh, you got me.
聽著，艾倫 So, Alan...
我們來這是為了告訴你一個超炫的地兒 we're all here to tell you about an awesome place...
叫 新地平線 called New Horizons.
聽起來確實不錯 That does sound awesome.
艾倫，這是一次治療 Alan, this is an intervention.
什麼？ A what?
媽 Mom.
艾倫 Alan.
「我很愛你，我們都愛」 "I love you so much. We all do.
但我們不能再欺騙對方了 But we can't keep lying to each other.
從你小時候開始，我就想… Ever since you were a baby, all I want..."
天啊，還有人沒睡著嗎？ Oh, my God, is anybody else falling asleep?
聽著，艾倫 Alan, listen.
- 媽我無意冒犯，但你實在有夠無聊 - 艾倫先生 - No offense, Morn, but you're boring. - Mr. Alan.
你新來的吧？ Oh, now you?
「我幫你擦了30年屁股」 "I pick up after you for 30 years.
打掃你的房間 I cleaned your room.
也看到了些不為人知的東西 I see things no one should ever see.
但是我仍然為你祈禱 But I pray for you.
艾倫先生，所有人都… Mr. Alan, everyone...
- 來人把這兒清了 - 艾倫 - Someone should clean that up. - Alan.
艾倫，你病了 Alan. You are not well.
你沒在接受治療 You're off your meds
而且你讓你全家人都感到沮喪 and you're clearly upsetting your whole family.
胡扯 That's baloney.
艾倫，如果你同意這一切… Alan, if you say yes to this...
我們今天就帶你去那裡 we drive you there today,
我保證你回來後會大變樣 and I promise you will come back a changed man.
「我們」是誰？誰是「我們」？ Who's we? What do you mean, "we"? Who's we?
我們，所有人 菲爾，我，你 We. All of us. Stu, Phil, me, you.
你也去嗎，菲爾？ You going, Phil?
艾倫，我愛你 I love you, Alan.
嘿，艾倫，你餓嗎？ Hey, Alan, you hungry?
要不要去吃點東西？ You wanna get some Arby's?
不，謝了 No, thanks.
知道嗎，我早想跟你說了 You know, I meant to tell you earlier,
你那件背心真贊 that's a really cool vest you got on.
謝謝你，菲爾，那是我爸的 Thanks, Phil. It was my dad's.
他穿著它死的 He died in it.
真的好贊 That's intense.
嘿，艾倫，我只想說你是個勇敢的人 Hey, Alan, just want to say what you're doing is really brave.
我們都為你驕傲 We're proud of you.
沒錯，你可是要做大事的人 Yeah, you're gonna do great.
停車，我不想做了 Stop the car. I don't want to do this anymore.
- 什麼？ - 我改變主意了 - What? - I changed my mind.
艾倫，你不要這樣 Alan, you can't change your mind.
大家都看著你呢 Everybody's counting on you.
我這樣就很好，我想回家 I'm fine just the way I am. I want to go home.
調頭，快，現在！我不想… Turn the car around. Now, please! I don't...
他媽的怎麼了？ What the fuck was that?
天啊，他們是故意的！ Oh, my God! He's doing it on purpose!
快讓路！ Get out of his way!
我在讓我在讓我在讓 I am, I am.
嘿，快滾開！ Hey, get the fuck off!
跟他們說說理 You have to exchange information.
操什麼？天啊，菲爾！ - Why? - Jesus. Phil!
- 菲爾！ - 操 - Phil! Phil! - Oh, shit!
- 快走！ - 知道了！ - Get away from him! - I'm trying!
- 小心！ - 操！ - Look out! - Oh, shit!
我操！我操！ AW, shit! Oh, shit.
操！ Shit!
上！ Go, go, go!
快鎖門，道格，快鎖門！ Lock your doors! Doug, lock your doors!
操，到底怎麼了？ Shit! What's going on?
快他媽滾…抓住！ Get the fuck... Hang on!
- 救命！ - 放手，傻子！ - Help! - Let go, fucking asshole!
- 斯圖，我們沒事 - 我們在電梯裡！ - Stu! We're okay. - We're in an elevator!
你在哪？ Where are you?
他媽的到底怎麼了？ What the fuck is going on?
這一定搞錯了 Please, this is a huge mistake.
你們抓錯人了！ You got the wrong guys!
我他媽的沒抓錯人！ I got the right fucking guys!
帶他過來 帶他過來 到這裡來 Get him up. Pick him up. Put him here.
你是黑道格！他是黑道格！ You're Black Doug! That's Black Doug!
他媽的閉嘴 閉上臭嘴 Shut the fuck up with that. Shut the fuck up.
天啊，還真是 Oh, my God. It is.
艾倫，告訴我 Alan, tell me right now,
為什麼黑道格要綁架我們？ why is Black Doug kidnapping us?
- 我說了別再叫我黑道格 - 不好意思 - I said don't call me that shit no more. - Sorry.
- 這不是艾倫的錯 - 謝謝你，黑道格 - It ain't Alan's fault. - Thank you, Black Doug.
- 王八蛋！ - 道格！ - Motherfucker! - Doug!
道格！ Doug!
- 叫你野道格行了吧？ - 好 - Just Doug, okay? - Yeah.
你操嘛這麼做？ Why are you doing this?
因為… Because...
是我叫的 I told him to.
我是馬歇爾 I'm Marshall.
不管你知不知道 And whether you know it or not...
我們有一些共同點 we all have something in common.
四年前，這個傻子… And it all started four years ago when this moron...
賣錯了藥給他 sold the wrong drugs to this dumb fuck.
那晚隨後發生的一切你根本無法想像 You have no idea the chain of events that were set in motion that night...
在他媽的一家酒行的停車場裡 in the parking lot of a fucking liquor store.
喲，黑鬼 What up, nigga?
你說什麼？ Excuse me?
放輕鬆，我不是條子 Chill out, I'm not a cop.
只是來享受夜生活 Just in town for the night.
我和我那幫兄弟們想high一把 Me and my boys looking to get our freak on.
你把迷姦藥賣給了艾倫 You sold Alan roofies.
操，我一定是搞混那幾個裝藥的袋子了 Oh, shit. I must've mixed up the bags.
是我的錯，艾倫 My fault, Alan.
他媽的，因為這件事馬歇爾差點操爆我 Damn. Marshall gonna be pissed off at me on that one.
馬歇爾？ Marshall?
你是馬歇爾 You're Marshall.
你因為這個把我們帶到這兒來？ You brought us out here because of that?
你不是因為那個來這兒的 You're not here because of that.
你來這兒是因為我從未聽說過的中國佬 You're here because some Chinaman I never heard of
到了我的地盤… strolls into my town...
把我的手下趕到了大街上 and takes one of my guys off the street.
- 周？ - 沒錯 - Mr. Chow? - Yes.
沒錯，就是那個該死的萊斯利·周先生 Yes, Mr. Leslie fucking Chow.
他完完全全擾亂了我的生活 You introduced a virus into my life.
天啊，他操了什麼？ Oh, God, what did he do?
他爆了我的菊花 He fucked me in the ass.
哦，他經常這麼操 Oh, he does that from time to time.
不是你想的那個爆菊花 Not literally.
天啊！ Jesus!
你們的破事過後幾周，我收到消息… A few weeks after your bullshit, I get word...
有人從阿布扎比（阿拉伯聯合酋長國首都）過來 this sheik is coming in from Abu Dhabi.
說是來搞些「投資」 He was looking to make some less-than-legal investments.
帶著兩個老婆… He brought his two wives...
還有價值4千2百萬的金條 and $42 million in gold bars.
休息的時候 It was a lay-up.
都趴下！趴下！ Get down! Get down!
我們收下了 We took it all.
兩輛貨車分裝了這些金條 Two vans, each with 21 million in gold.
我的人分開走 MY guys split up.
一撥回到了 One of them made it back...
另一撥沒有 one of them didn't.
有事咩，警官？ ls there a problem, officer?
沒事了，傻屌 Not anymore, motherfucker.
萊斯利·周偷走了我一半的金條 Leslie Chow stole $21 million from me...
那是個星期二 on a Tuesday.
天啊 Oh, God.
我到處找他 I looked everywhere for him.
但他消失了，誰也找不到他 But he's gone, no one can find him.
直到這個賤貨在曼谷被人抓了（見宿醉2） Until the little cockroach got himself pinched in Bangkok.
我去看他 So I pay him a visit.
給他提了個條件 I offer him a truce.
我不會傷害你 I won't touch a hair on his head.
我只想讓他告訴我金條在哪兒 I just want him to tell me where my gold is.
可他不說 He refuses to talk.
不僅不跟我說… Not only does he refuse to talk to me...
他還從來沒跟外界聯繫過… he has no communication with anyone from the outside...
除了你 except you!
他！ Hey-
沒理由啊！ It's unfair!
艾倫，你一直跟周聯絡著？ Alan, you been talking to Chow?
- 他們一直在寫信 - 嘿，那是我的隱私！ - They've been writing letters. - Hey, those are private!
「親愛的萊斯利，天啊，烤汁豬排堡回來了！」 "Dear Leslie, OMG, the McRib is back!"
「它為什麼會消失呢？」 "Why was it ever gone?"
沒錯！ Exactly!
「親愛的艾倫，我今天尿在了一個獄卒身上 "Dear Alan, I threw urine on prison guard today.
嫁禍到了一個獄友身上，真希望你當時也在場」 Blamed it on cellmate. Wish you were here."
沒錯啊，我是希望能親眼目睹 Yeah, I wish I could've seen that.
一封接著一封毫無意義的信 Letter after letter of total nonsense...
除了一條共有的線索： except for one common thread:
你們！ You guys!
狼友 The wolf pack.
天啊，艾倫 Jesus Christ, Alan.
五個星期前 Five weeks ago,
周從最高安全等級的監獄溜了 Chow escaped from maximum security detention.
操 Oh, fuck.
上了一艘開往西海岸的船 He stowed aboard a shipping freighter bound for the West Coast.
- 他在哪？ - 我不知道 - Where is he? - I don't know.
艾倫，如果你知道周在哪 Alan, if you know where he is,
現在就跟這個人說 you tell this man right now.
菲爾，我不知道，我發誓 Phil, I don't know, I swear.
我幾個月沒跟周聯絡了 I haven't talked to him in months.
看來得來點硬的了 We gotta do it the hard way.
- 不要！ - 操什麼？ - Oh, no! - What the fuck?
- 走吧 - 不！不！要操嘛？ - Let's go. - No! No! What the fuck?
你在做什麼？ what are you doing?
道格現在是我的了 Doug is my insurance. He stays with me.
我見不到周，就爆了他的頭 You don't give me Chow, I blow his brains out.
你們要是報警… You go to the cops...
我也爆了他的頭 I blow his brains out.
你瘋了吧！ That's insane!
我們根本不知道那個王八蛋在哪！ We don't even know where the fuck he is!
沒人知道 No one does.
但我想身為狼友應該最有可能找到他 But I figure the wolf pack has the best chance of finding him.
給你們三天時間 You have three days.
去吧 Get to work.
把道格換成斯圖好咩？ Can you take Stu instead?
操你大爺，艾倫 Fuck you, Alan.
操 Shit.
操！ Shit!
- 艾倫 - 操嘛？ - Alan. - Yeah, Phil?
我要你滾過來咬斷這些繩子 - I need you to roll over here and chew off these hand-ties.
好 Okay.
操！ Damn it!
我操！ Oh, fuck!
- 我被曬傷了 - 快滾開 - Got a little too much steam. - Get off me.
好，我走 All right, let me just shimmy down.
你能別動嗎？別動！ Would you just hold still? Hold still!
救命！ Help!
我去 Holy shit.
斯圖，接下來操嘛？ What are we gonna do, Stu?
- 我們要去報警 - 不，千萬別 - We're gonna go to the police. - Oh, no, we're fucking not.
你沒聽到那哥們說的？ Did you hear that guy?
報警他就爆了道格的頭 He will kill Doug, period.
周就是個毒瘤子 Chow is a cancer.
第一天遇見他我就這麼覺得 He's been a cancer since the first day we met him.
把周交給馬歇爾，萬事大吉 We're gonna hand him over to Marshall and then it's done.
- 嘿，菲爾 - 艾倫，現在沒空 - Hey, Phil. - Alan, not now.
你得幫我，我一個人沒法做 But I need you, Stu. I can't do this alone.
做什麼？我們根本不知道周在哪 Do what alone? We have no idea where he even is.
- 菲爾 - 艾倫，你要操嘛？ - Phil. - What, Alan?
我說我前幾天收到了這封奇怪的電郵 I was gonna say I got this strange e-mail the other day.
我不知道什麼意思 I wasn't sure what it meant,
但我認為可能是周發的 but now I think it might be from Chow.
「肥仔，自由的感覺真好」 "Fatty, it feels good to be out.
我離你不遠了 別跟別人說 我會聯繫你的 I'm close by. Tell no one. I'll be in touch.
「周」（音同意大利語「再見」） "Chow."
這上面寫的是「周」 This says "Chow."
你又怎麼不知道是周發的？ How did you not know this was from Chow?
那時候，我以為「周」是「再見」的意思 At the time, I thought it was "Chow" like "goodbye."
你懂的啊，就好像，「周，再見拜拜（意大利語）」 You know, like, "Chow, arrivederci."
Sbarro，Papa John's啊（均為美國披薩品牌） You know, Sbarro, Papa John's.
我這就給他回信 I'm writing him back.
哇，等等，等一等 Whoa, wait, wait. Just hold on.
告訴他你很高興他能越獄 Gonna tell him you're happy he's out
想見他 and you'd love to see him.
那就太好了 Ooh, I would love to see him.
你們知不知道你們在操嘛？ Do you even know what's going on?
知道啊 Yes, I do.
菲爾在做事，而我是他的助手… Phil's doing all the work, I'm his assistant...
而你站在那裡看著像個傻子 you're standing there looking like an idiot.
我得安排個會面… I'm gonna arrange a meeting...
- 然後我們把周約出來 - 「約他出來？」 - and we're gonna take him out. - "Take him out"?
誰說約的？我們要怎麼約？ Who says that? How do we take someone out?
我們得用點藥 We'll use drugs.
處方藥 Prescription drugs.
你懂的，牙醫都能開的那種 You know, the kind a dentist has access to.
真幸運我們有一個會開假處方的牙醫 Good luck finding a dentist who will write fake prescriptions.
哦我認識他，他叫斯圖 Oh, I know one. His name is Stuart Price.
走吧，找個藥店去 Now let's go find a fucking pharmacy.
你上道了，小子 You just got schooled, son.
你來不來？ Are you coming or not?
我不怎麼想來 I don't like this plan.
好吧，那麼再見 Okay, then. Ciao.
我真他媽的有幽默感 I got a pretty dope sense of humor, bro!
要這麼多注射器操嘛？去問問看 This amount with syringes is just weird. Go check it out.
沒事吧？ Everything okay?
你要的東西真夠奇怪 Well, it's just a strange request.
這麼多的藥還有一包注射器 This drug in this amount and a pack of syringes.
- 有一點奇怪啊 - 耶 - It's just a little weird. - Yeah.
出了點狀況，所以… It's just kind of an emergency, so...
看看你 See, that right there,
坐立不安，加上一副狼狽的模樣… and you're acting all fidgety, plus you look like shit...
在我們這行看來，這些都是危險信號 in our business, these are all red flags.
我得找下醫生，確保一切正常 I need to call the doctor, make sure everything's okay.
你真幸運 You're in luck,
因為我就是一位正式醫生 because I actually am the prescribing doctor.
操，又一個危險信號 Oh, boy. Another red flag.
這上面說你是個牙醫啊 It says here you're a dentist.
牙醫就不是醫生啊 Yeah. Doctor of Dental Science.
真他媽的亂 This is fucked up.
爸？ Hey, Dad?
有個活著的癮君子 I think we got a live one.
怎樣？ How'd we do?
挺好的，拿到了杜冷丁和一袋注射器 We did good. I got Demerol, a pack of syringes...
還差點丟了我的牙醫執照 and almost lost my dental license.
- 周有什麼消息嗎？ - 沒 - What about Chow? Anything? - No.
看啊，周20分鐘前給我電郵了 Oh, look at this. He e-mailed me like 2O minutes ago.
艾倫，我們坐這兒都… Alan, we've been sit...
把電話給我 Give me the phone, please.
周說了啥？ What does it say?
他今晚八點想見艾倫，上面說讓艾倫自己去 He wants to meet Alan tonight at 8. It says come alone.
- 自己去哪？ - 巴士站 - Come alone where? - A bus stop.
在提華納（墨西哥西北部城市） In Tijuana.
提華納完了 Tijuana's the bomb.
操 Oh, fuck.
不，這下好了 No, that's perfect.
不，從這兒到提華納要三小時車程 No, it's like a three-hour drive from here.
斯圖，麻煩多看看地圖 Yeah, Stu, try reading a map.
是啊艾倫，下次有消息了麻煩吱一聲 Yeah, Alan, try reading anything ever.
好吧斯圖，麻煩別這麼囉嗦 Yeah, Stu, try not having such big horse teeth.
我們需要個計劃 All right, we need a plan.
周和艾倫要在公交車站的長椅上見面 They're meeting on a bus bench in a public place...
所以艾倫要讓周確信那裡很安全 so Alan needs to convince Chow to go someplace more private.
而那地方我們又能觀察他，給他下藥 Someplace where we can sneak up on him and drug him.
哪裡呢？ Like where?
我不知道啊，小巷裡吧 I don't know, like an alley.
電影院怎麼樣？ What about a movie theater?
我操，好主意啊 Fuck, that's actually a great idea.
光線變暗… The lights go down...
我坐在他後面 we take the seats behind him,
給他下藥，事兒就這麼完了 we jab him and it's fucking done.
下藥這事兒我在行 I'll jab him if you want. I've drugged people before.
是我們 Yeah, us.
無意冒犯，可我們是不會讓你去處理任何毒品的 No offense, but we're not letting you handle any drugs.
你會殺人的 You'll kill someone.
別鬧了，我是專家 Oh, please, I'm an expert.
記不記得泰國那次的棉花糖（宿醉2）？ Remember the marshmallows in Thailand?
啊？ Yeah?
那次我的量掐的剛好 I made it so you could eat
至少吃了三個也還沒死 at least three before hitting a fatal dose.
等等 Wait.
你的意思是如果我吃了四個就死了？ So you're saying I would've died if I had had four?
沒人會一次吃四個棉花糖的，斯圖 Nobody eats four marshmallows, Stu.
我能活著還得謝謝你這理論咯？ That insane theory is the only reason I'm still alive?
沒錯，不用謝 Yes! And you're welcome, by the way.
你差點殺了我，別說「不用謝」了 Don't say "you're welcome" for almost killing me.
- 好吧 - 謝謝 - Fine. - Thank you.
- 不用謝 - 操！ - You're welcome. - Goddamn it!
天啊 Oh, God.
你是對的 You know, you were right.
哪對了？@ About what?
那地方在亞利桑那 送艾倫去治療根本沒用 That place in Arizona. It's not gonna help him.
這哥們沒得救了 There is no facility that can fix this guy.
我們下輩子還得陪他 We're gonna spend the rest of our lives dealing with him...
「因為我們是他現在的一切」 because we're all he has now.
你知道了嗎？ You realize that? We're it.
操，看看 Oh, shit, check it out.
是周嗎？ Is that Chow?
嘿，肥仔 Hey, fat stuff.
萊斯利 Leslie.
- 自然點，往前看 - 好 - Act cool. Eyes forward. - Yeah, okay.
- 有人跟著你咩？ - 沒有 - Anyone follow you? - No, I don't think so.
好的，好的 Good, good.
哥現在可是頭號人物，得低調點 Gotta keep low profile right now. Chow wanted man.
誰也信不得 Can't trust anyone.
給哥來點糖吃，快 Quick, give me some sugar. Come on, come on, come on.
搞什麼？ What the fuck?
艾倫親周了？ Did he just kiss him?
聽著，艾倫，哥現在有點麻煩 Listen, I'm in a bit of a pickle, Alan.
- 我需要個朋友 - 我就是你朋友，萊斯利 - I need a friend. - Well, I'm your friend, Leslie.
這正是我找你來的原因 Exactly. That's why I called you down here.
你是哥這操蛋的一生中唯一可以相信的人 You're the only person I can trust in this shit-hole of a life.
不是吧，斯圖和菲爾咩？ That's not true. Stu and Phil are your friends.
他們？ Oh, really?
真有趣 That's interesting.
他們在哪？ Where are they?
- 附近 - 附近是哪裡？ - Around. - Around where?
我不知道 I don't know.
- 混蛋！我說過讓你自己來的！ - 萊斯利 - Motherfucker! I told you to come alone! - Leslie.
操 Shit.
- 怎麼了？ - 周要走了？ - What happened? - Is he leaving?
回頭聊！我還會吻你的！ We'll talk more! I'll give you another kiss!
周過來了 He's coming this way.
趴下，快趴下 Get down. Get down.
- 操 - 萊斯利！ - Fuck. - Leslie!
媽的 Oh, fuck.
- 出來，你們這幫混蛋！ - 萊斯利，不要！ - Get out of the car, you mutts! - Leslie, no!
- 放開我，死肥仔！ - 冷靜地，周！ - Get off me, fat clown! - Chow! Chow, calm down!
- 誰讓你們來的？ - 沒人 - Who sent you? - No one! No.
我們只是想見你！ We just wanted to see you!
騙人！沒人想見我！ Liar! No one wants to see Chow!
我們…我們想你啊 No, we... We miss you.
- 啥？ - 周，我們想你 - What? - We miss you, Chow!
- 就這麼簡單 - 耶 - That's it. - Yeah.
我們想你 We miss you.
你們想我？ You miss me?
非常想 So much.
你們想我 You miss Chow.
對啊 Yeah, buddy.
我們愛你啊，老周 We love you, Chow.
# 我今天感受著疼痛 # # I hurt myself today #
# 去試探我是否還有感覺 # # To see if I still feel #
# 我把注意力集中在疼痛上 # # I focus on the pain #
# 唯一真實的東西 # # The only thing that's real #
# 我變成什麼樣子了？ # # What have I become #
我在看什麼鬼東西？ What the fuck am I watching?
# 我那些親愛的朋友 # # My sweetest friend #
# 每一個我熟知的人 # # Everyone I know #
# 最終都離我而去 # # Goes away in the end #
- 要完了嗎？ - 是吧 - Is that gonna be enough? - Oh, yeah.
這東西得一會才能溶好 This will take about a minute to kick in.
到時我們就跟服務員說他喝醉了 We'll tell the waitress he's drunk.
他會一直暈著，被我們拖上車 By the time we get to the car, he'll be out cold.
# 骯髒的國王 # # My empire of dirt #
# 我會讓你失望 # # I will let you down #
# 我會讓你傷心 # # I will make you hurt #
坐下，艾倫 Alan, sit down.
唱的真不錯啊，周 That was really nice, Chow.
謝謝 Thanks, Phil.
關鍵是要唱出心裡的歌 The key is to sing from your heart.
很墨西哥哈？你在這裡操嘛？ So Mexico, huh? What are you doing down here?
搞一搞，吹一吹咯，老樣子 You know, fucking, doing blow. Same old, same old.
哦，我還鬥雞 Ooh, I got into cockfighting.
- 哦，聽起來很贊 - 沒錯 - Oh, cockfighting. That sounds wonderful. - Yes.
斗遍墨西哥無敵手 Basically, been killing it down here.
贊啊 That is just terrific. Right?
我覺得，就衝你的鬥雞，咱得操一杯 I mean, that's terrific. I think that calls for a toast.
沒錯 I like that.
- 斗爆別的雞 - 斗爆它們 - To killing it. - Killing it.
沒錯，斗爆它們 Yeah, to killing it.
你還好咩？ You okay, Chow?
你說說看我好不好吧 I don't know. You tell me.
你有幾隻雞？周 So how many rooster birds do you have, Chow?
- 安靜點，不然我就割斷他的脖子 - 天啊 - Shh. Act cool or I open his vein. - Oh, my God.
你們為什麼要給可憐的老周下藥？ Why you wanna drug poor Chow?
不是你想的那樣子，周，都是那個馬歇爾叫的 No, no. It's not what you think. There's this guy Marshall.
馬歇爾？你們怎麼會認識那個傻子？ Marshall? How you know that fat fuck?
他說你拿了他的金條 他把道格抓走了 He says you took his gold. He's got Doug.
我們不把你帶去他就把道格殺了 He'll kill him unless we bring you back.
沒錯，我發誓，是真的 It's true! I swear to God, it's true!
這是事實，周 Chow. Chow, that's the truth.
操！ Goddamn it!
那個混蛋 That motherfucker.
斯圖，你還好嗎？ Stu, you okay?
- 你還好嗎？ - 不好 - You all right? - No.
對不起，周 We're sorry, Chow.
對不起 We're sorry.
我們不知道怎麼做 We didn't know what else to do.
下次別騙周 Next time, don't lie to Chow.
你是對的 You're right.
你太正確的，是我們錯了 You are so right, and we made a huge mistake.
那麼，我們現在該怎麼辦？ So, what do we do now?
看情況 That depends.
我能信你們嗎？ Can I trust you?
這是哪兒？ What is this place, Chow?
我的房子 My house.
哥曾經是世界之王 Chow used to be on top of the world.
有三幢漂亮的房子在三個不同的國家 Had three beautiful homes in three different countries.
但墨西哥的這棟別墅 But this one, my Mexican villa...
是我的最愛 this was my favorite.
結果事情搞砸了 And everything got fucked.
哥進去了，哥的財產都沒了 Chow go to prison, all my property seized.
我的房子… My homes...
被拿來拍賣 sold at auction to highest bidders.
但我知道些猛料 But I know something no one else knows.
這幢房子是我拿來藏金條用的 This house is where I stashed the gold.
- 馬歇爾的金條？ - 沒錯 - Marshall's gold? - Yep.
藏在地下室的牆裡 Hid it inside the basement wall.
沒人知道在那裡 No one knows it's there.
我們去把金條搞到手 We're gonna go get it.
等等，你是說闖進去？ Wait. You mean break in?
聽著，馬歇爾想要他的金條 Look, Marshall wants his gold.
拿到之前他會一直追殺我的 And he's gonna hunt me down until he gets it.
如果我們去找他不帶著金條，他會殺了我的 If we show up without it, he'll kill me.
我們是不會闖進任何地方的 We're not breaking in anywhere.
這不是別的地方，是我的房子 Not anywhere, Stu. My house.
簡直小菜一碟 It's piece of cake.
我對這裡瞭如指掌 I know every square inch of this place.
最妙的是，我們要闖的這家主人 The best part, the guy we're stealing it from
根本不知道那裡有金條 doesn't even know it's there.
所以他也不會知道金條沒了 So he'll never know it's gone.
我們明白吧？哈？ You guys know what's going on, right?
你什麼意思？ What do you mean?
我要說錯了麻煩指正我 Well, and please correct me if I'm wrong,
我們不是闖進這房子 we're not breaking into this house.
這房子太小了 This house is too small.
我們是要闖進另外一幢房子 We're breaking into another house.
這只是個模型，對嗎？ This is just a model, right?
什麼？艾倫，不要！ What? Alan, no!
我的雞！ My chickens!
操！ Oh, shit!
周，搞什麼？ Chow, what the fuck?
小心它們的爪，很危險 Watch out for the claws! They're trained to kill!
它的喙好尖 His beak is so sharp!
- 操！ - 別動，我是來幫忙的 - Oh, fuck! - Stay still, I'm trying to help.
不要！把它拿走！ - Don't! - Get it off!
- 哥要正中靶心 - 你瘋啦？ - Fucking bull's-eye! - Are you out of your mind?
射！射！射！ Shoot it! Shoot it! Shoot it!
斯圖，窗！ Stu, the window!
- 扔出去 - 好的！ - Get it out! - Okay, okay!
扔出去！ Get it out!
別掙扎了 Don't struggle. Let go.
你為我贏過很多比賽，華萊士 You won a lot of fights, Wallace.
但這次你輸了 Not this time.
這些雞到底怎麼了？ What the fuck is wrong with those chickens?
它們很憤怒 They're angry.
我拿可卡因來餵它們 All I feed them is cocaine.
還有雞肉 And chicken.
這房子真贊 That's some house, Chow.
這可是我的仙境，現在不是了 It was my Shangri-La. Now it's gone.
別在我的車裡吐口水，好嗎？天啊 Could you not spit inside my minivan, please? Jesus.
現在誰住那兒？ Who lives there now?
搞網絡公司的屌絲，他從不住在這裡 Some dot-com millionaire. He's never here.
這裡只是拿來度假的 This is a vacation home.
保姆週六不來 The help doesn't show up on Sundays.
只有幾隻看門狗哈，斯圖？ No one there but the guard dogs. Stu?
我們把漢堡扔到門口 We'll toss these burgers over the gate,
等待杜冷丁放倒它 wait for the Demerol to kick in.
一定得把它們殺了 Make sure you put in enough to kill them.
我們才不要殺狗，周 We're not gonna kill the dogs, Chow.
這只會讓它們昏迷幾個小時 This will knock them out for hours.
不好意思，我不知道你在PETA（善待動物組織善待動物組織）工作 Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know you worked for PETA.
真是個娘炮 What a pussy.
拿著，艾倫 Alan, take that.
- 你去哪裡？ - 你會知道的 - Where are you going? - You'll see.
原諒我，寶貝 Pardon me, little loser.
不好意思 Excuse me, fucking asshole.
跟著我 Follow me.
好，行動是這樣的： Okay, here's the deal:
屋裡有兩處控制面板 two security panels inside.
你掐了一個，另一個就響了 If you cut only one wire, it triggers alarm.
條子就來了 Place will be crawling with cops.
但如果你兩個一起掐 But if you cut wire on both panels at same time,
就不會響 alarm disabled.
是啊，但我們怎麼才能不觸動警報然後進去？ Yeah, but how are we gonna get inside without tripping the alarm?
好好瞧著 Check this out.
還有問題咩？ Any more stupid questions?
誰要跟著我？ Now, who's coming with me?
我來吧 I'll do it.
你想告訴他世界的真實嗎？ You wanna tell him?
艾倫，你太胖了 Alan, you're just too fat.
收到 Roger that.
你踢我，你這個混蛋 You kicked me, you motherfucker.
不不不，別起來，會觸發動作偵測器 No, no, no. Don't get up. Will trip motion detectors.
像條狗樣走 Stay low like dog.
好吧，好主意 Okay. Good idea.
- 哪邊？ - 那兒，廚房 - Which way? - In there. The kitchen.
搞什麼？ Aah! What the fuck is that?
哈哈，我在跟你問好啊，我們是狗，忘了啊？ Ha, ha. I'm saying hello. We're dogs, remember?
嘿，斯圖？ Hey, Stu?
看看這個 Check it out.
天啊，真噁心 Oh, my God! So gross!
不要這樣，周 God! Chow, cut it out!
好了，我到位了 Okay, I'm here.
現在呢？ Now what?
把蓋子拆了，你就能看到線 Pull the cover off so you can see the wires.
好 Okay.
好了 Okay. Done!
數到三，剪斷灰線 Okay, on three, cut the gray wire.
一，二… One, two...
等下，等下！ Wait. Wait, wait, wait!
我這兒沒灰線，只有紅、綠和黃線 I don't have a gray wire. I have red, green and yellow.
奇怪了，我這兒有淡灰、中灰和深灰色的線 That's weird. I have light gray, medium gray, dark gray.
真的？ You do?
他媽的 Motherfucker.
怪我了，我是色盲 My bad. I'm colorblind.
你是啥？ You're what?
不管了，把中間那根剪了 Fuck it, just cut the middle one.
不，我中間那根有可能跟你的不同 No, my middle one could be different.
線都繞一起了 The wires are all twisted.
- 數到三 一，二… - 周，住手！ - On three. One, two... - Chow, stop!
天啊 God.
別動，我去找你 Hold on, I'm coming to you.
他們搞什麼鬼這麼久？ What the fuck's taking them so long?
你這襯衫哪兒買的？Diesel？ Where'd you get that shirt, the Diesel store?
菲爾 Phil.
操嘛？ What?
真好看，你這襯衫哪兒買的？ It's a cute top. Where did you get that shirt?
什麼問題？ What's the problem?
把你想剪的線指給我看 Just point to the wire you want me to cut.
- 這根灰的 - 好的 - This gray one right here. - Great.
照你說的，這是根綠線 For your information, that's green.
哪根是紅的？ Which one's red?
你左手那根 The one in your left hand.
等等，左手是哪只？我讀寫困難@ Wait, which hand is that? I'm also dyslexic.
搞什麼？ What the fuck?
你在哪兒買的？ Where'd you get it?
我不知道 我找到了會給你買一件的 I don't know. I'll find out, I'll get you one.
我常去的那家商場就有家Diesel There's a cool Diesel store in the mall that I like to go to.
就靠近飲食區 Right next to the food court.
我不知道這件衣服是不是Diesel的 I don't know if it's Diesel.
看起來像 Looks like a Diesel.
你到底有什麼病？ What's the matter with you?
好的，你還拿著我給你的那根線吧？ Okay, you're still holding the one I left you with, right?
那必須的 Pretty much. Heh, heh.
媽的 Oh, fuck.
好的，數到三 All right. On three!
一 One...
二 two...
三 three.
我去，奏效了 Holy shit, it worked.
沒事了？ All good?
小菜一碟 - Easy peasy. - All right.
你根本想不到多簡單 You have no idea.
來吧 Come on.
小心點，周 Jesus, be careful, Chow.
操爆這傻屌 Fuck this guy.
住我的房子，過我的生活 Living in my house. Living my life.
能照著計劃走咩？ Can we just stick to the plan?
好 Fine.
廢了 Ruined.
這哥們瘋了 He is completely out of control.
咱把大事先辦了吧 Let's just get this done.
這邊走，過來， 過來 This way. Come on, come on.
就埋在這堵牆後 It's buried behind this wall.
- 艾倫 - 給你，老大 - Alan. - Here you go, boss.
操！ Fuck!
- 你好嗎？ - 很好 - You okay? - Yeah, I'm okay.
熱個身而已 Just warming up.
真重，有輕點的咩？ It's so heavy. Do we have a lighter one?
讓我來吧，周 Why don't you just let me do it, Chow?
好吧 你來我來都一樣 Okay. Either way, you or me. Same thing.
把衣服脫了吧，好操活 You might wanna take your shirt off. Makes it easier.
- 啥？ - 我聽到了 - What? - I've heard that too.
看到了嗎？周回來找你們了 See that? Chow come back for you.
這是最後的了 That's the last of it.
確定？ You sure?
- 嗯 - 真的確定？ - Yeah. - You triple sure?
- 嗯！ - 好的！ - Yes! - Good!
周？ Chow?
周！ Chow!
周，快點他媽的開門！ Chow, open this fucking door right now!
周！ Chow!
史都華·普萊斯 Stuart Price.
沒犯過重罪，被抓過一次 No felonies. One arrest:
內華達州，拉斯維加斯 Las Vegas, Nevada.
菲爾·溫內克 Phil Wenneck.
沒犯過重罪，被抓過一次 No felonies. One arrest:
還是在內華達州，拉斯維加斯 Also Las Vegas, Nevada.
艾倫·加納 Alan Garner.
這上面記的沒錯吧？ Is this record accurate?
都是我操的 I did that.
- 公交車上打飛機 - 沒錯是我 Masturbating on a city bus. Yep, that was me.
聽著，我們在這兒5小時了 Look, we've been here for 5 hours.
該說的都說了 We already told your guys everything.
沒有 No.
你只說了個中國佬的故事 You told them a story about a little Chinese man.
萊斯利·周 他是個國際罪犯 關起來 Leslie Chow. He's an international criminal. Look it up.
一個沒人聽說過的中國佬 A little Chinese man that no one in town has seen or heard of.
你們說的那家賓館也找不到他 The hotel where you say he's staying? No one there.
搞不好他已經出城了 Probably because he left town.
這是一種可能 That's one theory.
另外一種是你在撒謊 Another theory is that you're lying.
「行為淫蕩，舉止下流，在聖誕前夕」 "Lewd behavior, Cracker Barrel, Christmas Eve."
不好意思 Excuse me.
我們完了 We're fucking dead.
周為什麼這麼做？ Why would Mr. Chow do this?
因為他是個利用我們的貪婪的小人 Because he's a greedy piece of shit who used us.
沒錯，可他也是我們的朋友 Yeah, but he's our friend.
別傻了，艾倫 Grow up, Alan.
你們可以走了 You're free to leave.
所有的指控都被撤銷了 All the charges have been dropped.
誰撤的？ By who?
你們走運了 It's your lucky day.
門外有輛車在等你們 There's a car waiting for you out front.
來吧，我們走 Come on, let's go.
哦，天啊 Oh, Jesus.
什麼？ What?
對不起 I'm sorry.
這是什麼意思？ What is this?
上車吧 Get in the car.
不好意思，先生？ Excuse me, sir?
我們要去哪兒？ Where we headed?
歡迎回來 Welcome back.
- 搞什麼 - 走吧 - What the fuck? - Let's go, guys.
到後面去 Out to the back.
- 道格？ - 小心，夥計們 - Doug? - Guys. Careful.
你給我過來 Get your ass back over here.
萊斯利·周不住在這裡 Leslie Chow never lived here.
你們闖的根本不是他的舊房子 You didn't break into his old house.
是我的房子 You broke into my house.
我不明白 I don't understand.
你們沒拿回周偷走的金條 You didn't get back the gold he stole from me.
反倒讓他把另一半也偷走了 You got the other half that he didn't.
天啊 Oh, my God!
你是說周沒拿到的那一半？ What, you mean the half he never had?
周是個世界級的小偷，你們只是他的工具 He's a world-class rat, and you three were his accomplices.
- 不！ - 我們根本不知道 - No! - We had no idea.
我們是想幫你來著 We were trying to help you. We thought you'd be happy!
太感謝了 Thank you so much.
太感謝你們把我給洗劫一空了 Thank you for ripping me off.
太感謝你們掃蕩了我的家！ Thank you for desecrating my home!
還有要感謝你們殺了我的狗！ And thank you for killing my fucking dogs!
我們沒殺，它們只是暈過去了 We didn't kill your dogs. They're just tranquilized.
沒錯 Oh, right.
你懂個屁 You don't know.
- 周走時扭斷了它們的脖子 - 啥？ - Chow snapped their necks on his way out. - What?
有人要為此付出代價 And somebody's gotta pay.
- 他說的沒錯 - 不要，不要！啊！ - He's right. - No, no, no! Aah!
我的保安頭子 My head of security.
連三個傻子和一個拿著剪線鉗的中國佬都比不上 Couldn't stop three fuckups and a Chinaman with a pair of wire cutters.
太扯了吧 Unreal.
沒關係 我知道這很嚇人 That's okay. I know it's scary.
那誰，上樓給艾倫拿條褲子 Hector. Run upstairs and grab a pair of sweatpants for Alan here.
我穿44碼的 I'm a 44 slim.
等多拿幾條讓我選咩？ Can you bring me a few options?
你們找到過周，再找一次 You found Chow once. Find him again.
還有我的金條 And my gold.
等著 Wait.
我們連車都沒，周偷走了我的車 We don't even have a car. Chow stole my minivan.
那輛轎車歸你們了，找那誰拿下鑰匙 Take the limo. Hector has the keys.
然後滾蛋 And get going.
我今天把道格殺了 I'm killing Dougs today.
- 我從沒見過殺人 - 是嗎？ - I never saw anyone get killed before. - Right?
天啊，當時人家好怕 My God, that was so intense.
那哥們就這麼死了 I mean, he just fell and then he's dead.
真噁心 I feel sick.
我也覺得 Me too.
或許我們該找點吃的 Well, maybe we should get some food, guys.
我們該怎麼做？我們根本不知道周在哪裡？ What are we gonna do? We have no idea where Chow is.
我也不知道 I don't know.
他偷了你的車，我們可以報失… He took your minivan. We could report it stolen...
然後警察會追蹤到他？ and then they could track him down?
值得一試 It's worth a shot.
操！ Oh, fuck!
我的手機落在車裡了 I left my phone in the minivan.
如果你丟了你的手機，費爾 Well, if you lost your phone, Phil,
我這有個軟件可以找回來 I have that Find My Phone app.
這不是當下要解決的問題，艾倫 We have bigger problems than that, Alan.
等等，等等，如果你的手機在車裡… No, wait, wait, wait. If your phone's in the minivan...
而周偷了你的車，那麼你的手機就和周在一起！ and Chow has the minivan, then your phone's with Chow!
你聽到他說的了，我們的問題不是這個，斯圖 You heard him. We have bigger problems than that, Stu.
艾倫，把你的手機給我，快點 Alan, give me your phone. Quick.
- 贊 - 沒錯 - That's brilliant. - Yes.
- 你的密碼是？ - 「Hey Phil.」 - Wait, what's your password? -"Hey Phil."
- 耶？ - 沒錯，就是它 - Yeah? - No, that's it.
- 什麼？ - 我手機的密碼 - What? - That's my password.
「Hey PHil」 "Hey Phil."
就是它 It is it.
菲爾知道了 Phil gets it.
沒什麼比丟了手機更不好的了 Nothing worse than losing your phone.
你剛剛看到個人被殺了 You just saw a man get murdered.
你的姐夫被綁了 Your brother-in-law is kidnapped.
你確定這些都比丟手機好？ You sure there's nothing worse?
你不懂 You don't get it, Stu.
你就是不懂，斯圖 You just don't get it, do you?
我的手機上有超過50個軟件 I have over 60 apps on that phone.
丟了怎麼辦？ What if I lost my phone?
你知不知道我得花多久… Do you have any idea how much time and man-hours it would take...
才能重新下載這些軟件？ to re-download those apps?
你說的對，我是沒想過，謝謝你 You are right. I had not thought of that. Thank you.
天啊，怎麼腦殘的老是你，斯圖！ Oh, God, it's not always about you, Stu!
找到了 It's locating.
- 真的找到了 - 什麼？ - Oh, God, of course. - What?
周在哪？ Where is he?
那混蛋在拉斯維加斯 He's in fucking Vegas.
@散彈鎗 Shotgun.
哦，不 Oh, no.
嘿，斯圖 Hey, Stu?
我不是很喜歡和你這樣交談 I don't enjoy talking to you that way.
我不知道為什麼你老是想激怒我 I don't know why you insist on making me blow my top.
我們一起經歷過這麼多次冒險… We've been on a lot of adventures together...
但你看起來還是什麼都沒學到 but it seems like you haven't learned anything.
什麼都沒有！ Anything!
你好好想想 You think on it.
我在車裡等你 I'll be in the limo.
他沒事 He's okay.
得有人把這炸了 Someone needs to burn this place to the ground.
我告誡自己再也不要來了 I told myself I would never come back.
別擔心 Well, don't worry.
今晚過後一切就結束了 It all ends tonight.
這上面說就在我們右邊200碼 It says 200 yards up on the right.
就是那裡 And there it is.
好神奇 Amazing.
看來周不要這車了 Looks like he ditched it.
- 門沒鎖 - 操 -It's open. - No shit.
轉轉看看 Well, look around.
周有沒有落東西在車裡 Let's see if he left anything in here.
- 我找到了杜冷丁 - 好的，留著，我們要用 - I found the Demerol. - Good. Keep it, we're gonna need it.
我找到手機了，但他媽的鑰匙不見了 I got my phone. No fucking keys, though.
- 艾倫，你找到了什麼？ - 沒找到金條 - Alan, anything? - No, not even the gold.
周他媽的來這裡幹嘛？ Why the fuck would Chow come down here?
我知道，懂嗎？ I know, right?
為什麼？ Why here?
你無法對抗約翰·塞納純粹的的威力！ You can't match the pure strength and power of John Cena!
塞納放倒了龐克！ Cena puts Punk down!
漂亮！ Nice!
打擾了 你有沒有看到過… Excuse me. Have you happened to see the driver...
門口那輛車的司機？一個矮矮的中國佬 of that minivan that's out front? Short Asian guy?
中國佬都矮好咩？ Yeah, they're all short.
沒錯 That's so true.
但他身上帶著一些金子 Right, but he may have been trying to pawn some gold.
這就和我有關了是嗎？ That would be my business, wouldn't it?
我喜歡你的上衣 I like your T-shirt.
我在論壇看過那場秀 I saw that show at the Forum.
他唱了「Captain Jack」 He played "Captain Jack."
是啊，很棒的一首歌 Yeah, I heard that was legendary.
美女… Woman...
我喜歡上你了 you have no idea.
和我交往吧 Try me.
凱西，我餓了 你訂的中國菜呢 Cassie, I'm hungry. I thought you ordered Chinese.
媽，我這兒有客人！ Mom, I'm with a customer!
我說什麼時候吃就什麼時候吃！ You'll eat when I say it's time to eat!
可醫生… But the doctor...
再不閉嘴我就操爆你的老菊 If you don't reverse that right now, there's gonna be hell to pay.
她屌爆了 She's rude.
謝謝 Thank you.
聽到了嗎？沒人喜歡你，老傢伙 Yeah, you hear that, Ma? Nobody likes you!
沒錯，閉上你的老菊 Yeah, keep your mouth shut!
你真聰明 You're smart.
一個中國佬早些時候來過 A Chinese guy came in here earlier.
很奇怪 It was pretty weird.
他拿來一個金條 He pawned a gold brick.
值40萬的金條他只要了1萬8 The thing's worth 400 grand, he took 18,000.
他說他要去哪了嗎？ Did he say where he was going?
對不起，我有在跟你說話咩？ I'm sorry, was I talking to you?
他說他要三樣東西 He said he wanted three things:
妹子，漢子，還有浴鹽 He wanted some girls, some guys and some bath salts.
我給了他一張三陪服務的卡然後他走了 I gave him a card for an escort service and he took off.
也給你們一張吧，這服務絕對贊爆 Pretty high-end, so good luck getting anything out of them.
謝謝你 Thank you.
我們得走了 We gotta go. We should go.
沒錯 - Yeah. - Yeah.
我懂了，我懂了 I'll get it, I'll get it. I'll get it.
有什麼嗎？ Anything?
沒有，還是忙線 No, I'm still on hold.
看那傻逼多開心 Oh, look how happy this fucking guy is.
你見沒見過他這麼嗨？ Have you ever witnessed a moment with that much heat?
我是說，嗨到白熱級了！ I mean, white-hot heat, bro!
沒有，剛剛真是有夠勁爆 No, it was pretty intense.
耶！ Yeah!
事情很急 Yeah, it's actually an emergency.
那人有口濃重的亞洲音 He has a thick Asian accent.
我知道了 I totally get it...
但是現在情況很緊急而且… but this is a highly unusual circumstance and...
好吧 Okay. All right.
只是個負責搞三陪的 It's an escort service.
沒什麼線索 They're not gonna tell us shit.
找個三陪女怎樣？ Maybe an escort would.
- 你還有那誰（宿醉1）的電話？ - 是，不過… - You still have her number? - Yeah, but...
那樣很遜好咩 it'd be pretty awkward.
我們只能找她了 It's all we got.
她又對我笑了，從店裡面 She smiled at me again, from inside the shop.
今天是我這輩子最讚的一天 This is the best day of my life.
天啊，是你們 Oh, my God, you guys...
都過了這麼久了 It's been so long.
- 進來，進來 - 謝謝你 - Come in, come in. - Thank you.
- 你看起來不錯啊 - 你也是啊，你懷孕了 - You look great. - So do you! You're pregnant.
我只是胖了 I feel so fat.
拜託 Oh, please.
你們能把鞋脫了嗎？我有點潔癖 Do you guys mind taking your shoes off? I'm a germ freak.
- 好吧 - 當然 - Yeah, sure. - Of course.
艾倫 Alan.
艾倫，你在操嘛？ Alan, what are you doing?
對不起 Sorry.
- 你房子真不錯 - 謝謝 - you have a great house. - Thank you.
我去年嫁給了個外科醫生 I got married a year ago to a surgeon.
- 又是一個醫生，你相信嗎？ - 又一個醫生 - Another doctor, can you believe it? - Another doctor.
他叫傑夫，你們會喜歡他的 His name's Jeff. You guys would love him.
泰勒，跟媽咪的朋友們問聲好 Tyler, say hi to Mommy's friends.
嗨 Hi.
等等，那是那個小孩咩（宿醉1）？ Wait, is that the baby?
是啊，時光飛逝啊，對嗎？ Yeah, time flies, huh?
能找個私密點的地方好聊天嗎？ Jade is there a place we could talk that's a little bit more private?
去廚房吧，想喝咖啡嗎？ Let's go in the kitchen. You guys want coffee?
太好了 Perfect.
你來嗎？ Hey', you coming?
我能去跟那小傢伙說聲嗨嗎？ Is it okay if I go say hello to the little guy?
當然 Of course.
東西不錯 Nice stuff.
謝謝，傑夫買給我的 Thanks. Jeff bought it for me.
傑夫是誰？不是你爸爸？ Jeff. Who's that, your fake dad?
你以前叫卡洛斯 Your name was Carlos once.
你知道嗎？ Did you know that?
不知道 No.
這是真的 Well, it was.
說實話，你還是叫卡洛斯好聽 And, frankly, it suits you better.
好吧 Okay.
還記得我嗎？ Do you remember me?
不記得了 No.
你是我爸爸？ Are you my real dad?
沒錯 Yes.
我不懂 你得理解 I don't know. You gotta understand,
我幾年前就已經離開那個圈子了 I've been out of that world a few years now.
是的，當然 我們全都知道 Yeah, of course. We totally get that.
我的意思是，傑夫知道我的過去，他沒說什麼，只是… I mean, Jeff knows everything and he's cool, but...
我們只是問問你知不知道附近… We're just asking if you can call around...
的人知不知道周在哪裡 just find out if anybody might know where he is.
我們真的需要你的幫助 We could really use your help.
你以前很喜歡我背著你走來走去 You used to love it when I would carry you around.
有時我還會覺得你的頭靠在我的胸口 Sometimes I can still feel your little head on my chest.
你喜歡這個叫傑夫的人嗎？ So do you like this new Jeff guy?
喜歡，他人很好 Yeah, he's nice.
我爸也是個好人，我們什麼都一起做 My dad was nice too. We did everything together.
他是我生活的伴侶，哈 He was my life partner, heh.
可我讓他失望了 I really let him down.
好吧 Okay.
相信我，你不會想去那裡的，好嗎？ Just trust me, you don't want to go over there, okay?
不是這個 Not this one.
我也愛你 I love you too.
她說這個瘋狂的中國佬… She says there's this crazy Chinese guy...
在凱撒行宮的頂樓包間裡 and he's holed up in the penthouse suite of Caesars Palace.
妹子們進進出出，滿地的藥… There's girls going in and out, drugs everywhere...
聽起來贊爆了 It sounds like a bad scene.
嘿，艾倫？ Hey, Alan?
我們得走了 We gotta go.
我要走了，小伙子 I gotta go, little man.
跟你聊天很贊 It was great talking to you.
擊個掌 High five.
- 見到你真好 - 我也是 - It's great to see you. - You too, Jade.
- 謝謝你幫忙 - 耶 - Thanks so much for your help. - Yeah.
你的孩子真好人 That's a great kid you got there.
他是最棒的 He is the best.
艾倫 Alan.
等等，我有東西要給你 Oh, hold on. I have something for you.
完美了 Perfect.
拜託 Oh, please.
回頭見，卡洛斯 I'll see you around, Carlos.
是我，斯圖，我們找到周了 - Yeah. - We got him.
- 好的，他在哪裡？ - 凱撒行宮 - Great. Where is he? - Caesars Palace.
調頭，我們去拉斯維加斯 Change of plans. Tell him we're going to Vegas.
我現在過去 I'm on my way.
城外有個地方 There's a spot just outside of town.
我一會發短信告訴你詳細地址，6點見 I'll text you the details. Be there at 6 a.m.
把那傢伙綁了來見我 And make sure the little fucker's tied up.
我們還沒抓到他 We don't have him.
嘿，馬歇爾，是菲爾 Hey, Marshall, it's Phil.
可能斯圖沒說清楚 Maybe Stu wasn't clear.
我們沒抓到周 We don't actually have Chow,
只是知道他在哪裡而已 we just know where he is.
我們是希望你的人… Yeah, and we were hoping that you and your guys...
能去凱撒酒店把他抓走 could go to Caesars and get him.
我不管你們想什麼 I don't give a fuck what you were hoping.
說好了你們帶周來見我 The deal is you bring Chow to me.
- 操 - 6點來，不然我就爆了道格的頭 - Oh, fuck. - 6 a.m. Or your friend is dead.
操 Shit.
天啊 Oh, God.
我來過這地方 This place gives me the chills.
我知道 I know, right?
能回來真好 It's great to be back.
- 太多美好的回憶了 - 你他媽的在逗我？ - So many good memories. - Are you kidding me?
好的，計劃是這樣的 Okay, so here's the deal:
你得有鑰匙才能到周那層樓 You need a key just to get onto his floor.
即使你到了那裡 And then once you're there,
他的保安還在門口守著 he's got security posted at the door.
真滑稽 It's ridiculous.
讓我猜猜，那是他？ Let me guess, that's him?
沒錯，拿著閃光板的那傻子 Yep. The one with the strobe lights.
有辦法了 Igotanidea.
你們一定會嚇尿的 But you're not gonna like it.
這行不通 It's not gonna work.
你這態度就不行 Not with that fucking attitude.
你知不知道這裡是拿大理石做的？ You know this whole place is made out of marbles?
來吧，快 Come on. Go, go, go.
找到周後 After we stick Chow,
艾倫和我會把他帶到大堂 Alan and I are gonna take him down through the lobby.
在車裡等著 Be waiting in valet.
別熄火，準備出發 Engine running, ready to go.
你確定？ Are you sure about this?
把杜冷丁給我 Give me the Demerol.
20分鐘後見 See you in 20 minutes.
- 嘿，菲爾？ - 耶？ - Hey, Phil? - Yeah?
別玩脫了 Don't die.
好吧 All right.
你準備好了嗎？ Are you ready to do this?
耶 Yeah.
等等，我們在操嘛？ Wait, what are we doing?
我去 Holy shit.
我們要爬下去 We're gonna climb down...
到陽台那兒得有8英尺高 and then it's about an 8-foot drop to the balcony.
- 好了嗎？ - 耶 - All right? - Yeah.
你自己吐 No, you spit in your own hand.
好吧 Oh, yeah.
空氣太操了 Dry desert air.
- 沒事的艾倫，你不需要這樣 - 好吧 - Alan, it's fine. You don't need it. - Okay.
天啊 Oh, God.
小心！ Careful!
- 菲爾！ - 我沒事 - Phil! - I'm all right.
我沒事！ I'm okay!
- 嘿，菲爾 - 怎麼了？ - Hey, Phil. - What's wrong?
等一會兒 Hold on a second.
- 啥？ - 等一會兒！ - What? - Hold on!
你晃出來點兒 Like, kick yourself out a little bit.
艾倫 Alan.
- 別動 - 艾倫！ - Stay still! - Alan!
拍到了咩？ Did you get it?
沒有，等等 No. Hold on.
哈，真酷啊 Ha, that's cool.
我去！ Fuck me!
一切還好？ Everything all right?
沒事 It's okay!
都好！ It's all right!
我成功了！ I got it!
你好嗎？ Are you okay?
到你了，艾倫 Alan, it's your turn.
沒錯 That's it.
我不行了，菲爾 Phil, I can't. I can't.
來吧 Come on.
艾倫，你還好吧？ Alan, you all right?
叫保安，菲爾！ Phil, call Security!
- 我要滑下去了 - 抓緊了！ - I think it's slipping! - Just hold on!
天啊！ God!
- 你得放鬆 - 我在滑，菲爾！ - You need to calm down. - I'm slipping, Phil!
操！ Fuck!
操！你還好嗎？ Oh, shit! You okay?
救命！ Help!
不 Oh, no.
我要死了 I'm gonna die, Phil.
你沒事，就… No, you're fine. Just...
跳下來我接著你 Drop down to me.
別鬧了 No chance.
我在這上面很好 I'm good up here.
艾倫你可以的，我會接住你的 Alan, you can do this. I'll catch you.
就… Just...
跳吧 let go.
就這樣，直著跳下來 That's it. That's it. Just drop straight down.
別往前跳 But don't push off.
不！ No!
- 天啊！ - 到這兒來！ - Oh, God! - Come here!
他媽的！ Holy fuck!
你還好咩？ You Okay?
嗯 Yeah.
操 Shit. Oh, fuck.
我差點死了 I almost died, Phil.
拜託，我是不會讓你死的，我愛你 Come on. I wasn't gonna let you go. You're my boy.
我也愛你 And you're my man.
你操嘛呢，艾倫？ Alan, what are you doing? Alan.
好吧 Okay.
我們去抓周那個混蛋 Let's go get this fucker.
你們有沒有見到我的…… Have you seen my...?
哈？ Huh?
菲爾！ Phil!
王八蛋！ Motherfuckers!
搶他的槍！ Grab the gun!
操！菲爾！ - Oh, fuck! - Phil!
菲爾你還好嗎？ Phil, you okay?
周！ Chow!
開他媽的的門，周！ Chow, open the fucking door!
操 Fuck.
別鬧，周 Chow, stop.
你們王八蛋 You motherfuckers!
萊斯利，下來吧！求你了！ Leslie, get down from there! Please!
你會受傷的！ You're gonna hurt yourself!
受傷才怪呢 Nothing hurts Chow.
我是隱形的！ I am invisible!
是「無敵」吧，而你不是 It's "invincible," and you're not.
你只是他媽的瘋掉了 You're just out of your fucking mind.
想不死的話快點從那兒下來！ Now get down from there before you die!
死？ Die?
我都死了你們還怎麼殺我？ How do you kill what's already dead?
操！ Oh, fuck!
操你大… Holy...
- 你好嗎？ - 不好 - You okay? - No.
網上看 Look up.
那他媽是啥？ What the fuck is that?
- 是周！ - 啥？ - That's Chow! - What?
跟著他 Follow him.
我愛可卡因！ I love cocaine!
快走開！ Out of the way!
這是怎麼了？ How did this happen?
我們把他困住了，結果他跑了 We had him trapped, and then he jumped!
那哥們瘋了！ He's out of his fucking mind!
我瘋了！ I'm out of my fucking mind!
真美 So beautiful.
別跟丟了，斯圖 Stu, do not lose him.
我在努力 I'm trying.
操 Oh, shit.
# 我相信我能飛翔 # # I believe I can fly #
# 我相信我能觸到天空 # # I believe I can touch the sky #
# 日日夜夜，我想像這一幕 # # Think about it every night and day #
我們把這些金條帶走 We gotta pack up all this gold. We're taking it with us.
告訴我情況，斯圖 Talk to me, Stu.
我找到他了 I got him.
哈哈，我找到他了 Ha, ha. I got him!
操！ Oh, shit!
操 Shit.
操！跟丟了 Fuck! I lost him!
別鬧，怎麼可能跟丟了？ Don't tell me that. You can't lose him!
這比你想的難好咩？菲爾 This is so much harder than you realize, Phil.
我只是個看牙的 I'm just a dentist!
才不，斯圖，你他媽的是個醫生，接著跟 No, Stu, you're a fucking doctor. Now go get him.
他他媽的去哪了？ Where the fuck did he go?
我去！ Fuck me!
當初真得好好想想 I should have thought this through!
操！ Shit!
滾開！ Move!
斯圖？ Stu?
- 周？ - 快停車！ - Chow? - Stop the fucking car!
- 斯圖 - 停不了，踏板卡住了 - Stu. - I can't! The pedal is stuck!
- 啥？ - 斯圖？ - What? - Stu?
- 我看不到了！ - 快停車，王八蛋！ - I can't see! - Stop, motherfucker!
- 拿開你的傘！ - 停車！ - Get off! - Pull over!
聽不了了！ It won't stop!
滾開！ Get off the car!
我什麼都看不到！ I can't see anything!
哈哈哈，我們要同歸於盡了 Ha-ha-ha. We're gonna die finally.
我去 Holy shit.
斯圖？怎麼了？ Stu? Stu, what happened?
斯圖，怎麼了？ Stu, what's going on?
出事了，周要死了 We had an accident, and I think he's dead.
啥，啥？ Wait, what?
我想我殺了他 I think I killed him.
我去 Holy shit.
他不動了 He's not moving.
操 Oh, fuck.
周？ Mr. Chow?
周？ Chow.
斯圖？ Stuart?
他活著，他沒事 He's alive. He's okay.
太好了 Oh, great.
把他放上車然後來找我們 Put him in the limo and come get us. We'll meet you at valet.
好，好 Yeah, okay.
斯圖 Stu.
剛才真是贊爆了，哈？ That was some ride, huh, pal?
那是 Yeah, it was pretty wild.
我要死了 I can't feel my nuts.
你摸摸我的蛋看它們還好嗎？ Would you rub them and make sure they okay?
別鬧了，萊斯利 It's over, Leslie.
等等 Wait.
我們可以談談 Let's make a deal.
想讓我幫你吹咩？ Want Chow to blow your dick?
別鬧了，斯圖 Come on, Stu.
我會把你吹的爽爽的 I could be a good wife to you.
- 談個屁 - 等等！ - No more deals. - No, wait!
把袋子放到後座上 Let's put the bags in the back seat.
後備箱有東西了 Trunk's full.
嘿，我現在好多了 Hey, guys? I'm feeling better now.
好，下個路口出去 All right, it's the next exit,
直著開4英里進入沙漠 then four miles straight into the desert.
聽著： Tell you what:
讓我出去，金子咱們分了 大家都爽 Let me out, we split the gold four ways. Everyone wins.
馬歇爾會殺了我的 Marshall gonna kill me!
你們都是幫兇！ My blood will be on your hands!
我做鬼都不會放過你的，斯圖 You want Chow's ghost haunting you for rest of your life, Stu?
掛你頭上看著你和你老婆啪啪啪 Floating over you while you make fuck on your wife?
他不會的殺你的，周！ He's not gonna kill you, Chow!
他只想要他的金子！ He just wants his gold back!
金子沒了 It's gone.
我在曼谷花掉了2千萬 I blew the first 2O million in Bangkok.
所以我才回來要剩下的 That's why I had to get the other half.
夠了，周！都結束了！ Enough, Chow! It's over!
你們王八蛋！ You motherfucker!
我要死不了你們就完蛋了！ When I get out of this, I'm gonna rip out your fucking lungs!
聽到嗎？你們完蛋了，完蛋了！ You hear me? You're dead! You're all dead!
我不是這意思 I didn't mean that.
我有時會發飆 Chow loses temper sometimes.
求你了，我需要幫助 Please. I need help.
我知道 I know that now.
那個路口出 That's the exit.
他們到了 They're here.
艾倫，他們來了，把周拿出來 Alan, they're coming, grab the last bag.
求你了，艾倫 Please, Alan.
道格！ Doug!
離那袋子遠點 Step away from the bags. Let's go!
沒事了吧？ We good?
- 都在那裡，我保證 - 不全是 - It's all there. I promise. - Not exactly.
原來那一半呢？ I'm still missing the original half.
我們只找到這些@ But, no, that's all we have.
周說那一半他全花了 Chow said he blew the other half in Bangkok.
他人呢？ Where is he?
車裡 He's in the trunk.
一手交錢一手交貨 Deal's a deal.
- 道格 - 鑰匙給我 - Doug. - Give me the keys.
你們要對周做什麼？ What are you gonna do with Chow?
只是聊聊 I just wanna talk to him.
滾開 Move.
你還好嗎？ You all right?
搞什麼？ What the fuck?
沒得聊了 End of conversation.
你為什麼這麼做？ Why would you do that?
萊斯利·周是條瘋狗 Leslie Chow is madness.
瘋狗不會說話的 You don't talk to madness.
如果夠幸運 If you're lucky,
你們把瘋狗困在車裡然後殺了它 you trap it in the trunk of your limo and you kill it.
就是做了一件大好事 You did a great thing tonight.
你們應該感到開心 You should feel good about this.
搞什麼？你覺得這好玩咩？ What the fuck? You think this is a fucking game?
不，不，不！ Don't, don't, don't!
操！ Oh, shit!
哈哈哈，王八蛋們 Toodle-loo, motherfuckers.
周 Chow.
周，周，等等 Chow. Chow, wait.
現在你們想聊了哈？ Oh, now you wanna talk, blue eyes?
想理我了哈？ No more silent treatment?
萊斯利，不要 Leslie. No.
你別管，肥仔 Stay out of this, fatty.
不要，萊斯利 No, Leslie.
你要射菲爾，就得先射我 You shoot Phil, you gotta go through me.
啥？ What?
- 艾倫 - 別吵 - Alan. - Quiet.
我在和他對視 I'm in a stare-off.
今天你們不死 Today you all live.
是我給艾倫面子 Because one of you was a friend.
艾倫，你操嘛了？ Alan, what did you do?
我把後座和後備箱的閂打開了 I unlocked the latch between the back seat and the trunk.
還給了他把槍？ And left him his gun?
是啊，我一路上都沒想到 Yeah, I didn't think it all the way through.
他給了老週一個機會 He gave Chow a fighting chance.
這正是我想要的 That's all I ever need.
死肥豬 Fat fuck.
不容易啊，是不是？ It's never easy, is it?
沒人想看見這樣 No one wants to see that.
除了我，我天生是個壞蛋 Except for me, but I was born bad.
等等，我有東西給你 Hold on. I have something for you.
因為你對我好 For your loyalty.
不，我不想要這些，周先生 Oh, no, I don't want this, Mr. Chow.
那好，還回來吧 快點 Okay, give it back, then. Come on.
快點，別讓斯圖知道 Quick! Before Stu smells it.
我也不想要 I don't want it either, Chow.
別鬧了，人還能不為財死？ Oh, please. Like a squirrel doesn't want a nut.
那他一定是個猶太人 It funny because he's Jewish.
你懂嗎？ Don't you get it?
操 Goddamn it.
好吧，都走吧 Okay, go on. Get out of here, all of you.
回頭我還會聯繫你的 Hey, chubster, I'll call you in a week. We'll get together.
別了，萊斯利，我不帶你玩了 No, Leslie, we can't be friends anymore.
啥？ What?
你一點都不健康 You're not good for me. It's not healthy.
艾倫，你在想什麼？ Alan, you're not thinking straight.
明天再聊吧 Let's just talk tomorrow.
萊斯利，你是我見過的最酷最讚的人 Leslie, you're one of the coolest and nicest guys I've ever met.
你很聰明 And you're smart
很有趣，大家都愛你 and you're funny and everybody loves you.
什麼意思？ Alan. What is this?
我們要在一起 When we get together,
事情就變壞了，還有人會死 bad things happen and people get hurt.
說的沒錯啊 好玩嘛 Yeah, that's the point. It's funny.
我這一輩子得做出一些改變 Well, I've gotta make some changes in my life,
這就是其中之一 and this is one of them.
對不起 I'm sorry.
後會有期，萊斯利·周 Farewell, Leslie Chow.
你們真冷酷 You're cold as ice.
完了 Shotgun.
大家還好？ Everybody okay?
嗯 Yeah.
艾倫，你呢？ Alan, you okay?
嗯 Yeah.
好的，回家吧 Good. Let's go home.
老天爺 Jesus Christ.
知道嗎？ You know what, guys?
我得去處理點私人事務 You can go ahead without me. There's something I need to do.
知道怎麼回家咩？ Do you even know how to get home?
當然，我不小了 Of course I do. I'm a grown man.
會問路人的 I'll ask a stranger.
祝你好運，艾倫 Good luck, Alan.
回頭見 We'll see you soon.
你知不知道離這裡幾個街區… Did you know that just a couple blocks from here...
有個地方看起來很像法國巴黎？ there's a place that looks exactly like Paris, France?
我記不起來那裡叫什麼了 I can't remember what it's called,
但應該是非常壯觀的 but it's supposed to be magnificent.
那裡叫巴黎賭場旅館 It's called Paris Hotel and Casino,
確實壯觀 and it is magnificent.
沒錯 Yeah, that's it.
我想請你去那吃晚餐 今晚 Well, I'd like to take you to dinner there. Tonight.
哦，抱歉 不行 Oh, sorry. No can do.
好吧… Oh, well...
我這輩子不能再去賭場了 I'm banned from the casino for life.
外加10年 Plus 10 years.
上次我媽過生日我帶她去那兒 I took Mom there for her birthday,
玩了21點 played a little blackjack.
她分了兩張10分的牌 She split 10s.
我反應過度了 I may have overreacted.
他們說這有點虐待老年人的意思 They said it was abuse of an elderly.
我也這麼做過 I've done that.
是嗎？無所謂了 Right? Whatever.
我不能再回去了 I can't go back there.
但是，呃… But, uh...
金磚賭場有最棒的羊排，如果… Golden Nugget has the best prime rib in town, if that's...
聽起來很贊 Well, that sounds glorious.
8點見 I'll send for you at 8:00.
就這樣？ Is that it?
我在黃片裡見過這一幕 I saw it once in a pornography.
不錯的姿勢 It's a nice gesture.
可或許我們該等等 But maybe we should wait.
好吧，好吧 Okay. Yeah, yeah.
8點見 I'll see you at 8.
你看起來真不錯，艾倫 You look great, Alan.
戴不戴帽子？ What do you think? Hat or no hat?
- 帽子得戴 - 好 - Hat. For sure. - Oh, yeah. Okay.
這是？ Who's this guy?
穿背心的現在拿起了手杖？愛死它了 The vest and the cane? I love it.
謝謝你，卡西給我挑的 Thank you. Cassie picked it out for me.
你看起來像花生米 You look like Mr. Peanut.
我知道，這是我一直努力的方向 Yeah, I know, right? That's what I was going for.
- 還是別了吧 - 耶 - Maybe we'll just lose it. - Yeah.
嘿，艾倫，我剛跟卡西聊過 Hey, Alan, I was just talking to Cassie.
她是個很棒的女人 She's an amazing woman.
謝謝你這麼說 她確實很棒 Oh, thank you for saying that. She is an amazing woman.
我覺得她比你老婆棒多了 I find her much better than your wives.
不錯哦 That's sweet.
這提醒我了 Which reminds me.
呃，咱們得談談 道格？ Um, we need to talk. Doug?
好吧，我聽著呢 All right, listen, fellas.
現在我要結婚了 Now that I'm getting married,
我得多花時間在我那位身上了 I'm gonna be spending a lot more time with Cassandra.
是啊 就該這樣 Yeah. It's the way it should be.
不，你先別說話，菲爾，好嗎？ No, you slow your roll, Phil, okay?
我還有話說 There's more.
而且你不會喜歡我接下來要說的 And you're not gonna like this part.
我不再是狼友了 I must resign from the wolf pack.
哇哦，這可是件大事，艾倫 Wow, that's a big step, Alan.
我知道 I know.
她是我的靈魂伴侶 But she's my soul mate.
和我新的最好的朋友 And my new best friend.
還有，她還能讓我騎她… Plus, she lets me mount her...
這讓我感覺輕鬆多了 which relaxes me.
天啊 Oh, my God.
這話就不要說了，艾倫 Alan, maybe never say that part again.
放鬆，道格，都不小了 Chillax, Doug, we're all adults here.
我知道你也騎過我姐 I know you mount my sister.
我見過的 好幾次呢 I've seen it. Many times.
啥？ What?
艾倫，你是最棒的 Alan, you are the best.
關鍵是 The point is:
你們就別管我了 You need to let me go.
尤其是你 You in particular.
我不能再罩著你了 I can't be your hero anymore.
好吧，好吧 Okay. Sure.
說了這麼多… Having said all that...
我還是想每週二咱聚在一起打保齡球 I still would like to get together on Tuesdays for bowling...
每隔一個週六去大鬧一場 and alternating Sundays for general horseplay.
別定時間了，不如隨意發揮吧？ How about we play all that by ear?
是時候了，艾倫 Alan, it's time.
走吧 Here we go.
準備好了？ Ready?
好了 I'm ready.
搞什麼？ What the fuck?
天啊 Oh, my God.
你們 You guys.
我們太瘋狂了 We're so crazy.
我穿著女人的內衣 I'm wearing women's underwear.
天啊 Oh, my God.
斯圖，別怕，往下看 Stu, don't freak out, but you need to look down.
啥？ What?
天啊 Oh, my God!
操！ Oh, fuck!
哥有胸啦！ I have boobies now!
我去！ Holy shit!
這一點都不好笑 It's not funny!
艾倫，你操啥了？ Alan, what did you do?
你操啥了，艾倫？ What did you do, Alan?
結婚蛋糕 The wedding cake.
是萊斯利送的 It was from Leslie.
天啊 Oh, my God.
一夜瘋癲哈，賤人們 We had a sick night, bitches.