Guys, guys, guys!
It's the beginning of summer.
What are we gonna do to shake things up? I need stories!
Let's do a piece on this Grandmaster Flash guy.
What is he like? What makes him tick?
He's a DJ, who cares? What else?
- Come on, Alan! - DJ?
Think you need to broaden your horizons.
There's a whole movement happening up in the South Bronx.
- Right, Dave? - I mean, come on.
Get on a train and go uptown.
- Find out what's really going on. - Yeah, take a peek.
I got something.
You got a little, uh... barbecue sauce on your face.
Lindsay, your hands are full
with the radio payola piece. Just stick with that.
Yeah, stick to your payola piece.
Going out, trying to pitch another piece.
I know, I know, Alan. It's just, um... Humor me for a second.
- Uh-oh. Here we go, we gotta humor her. - Should be good.
Get ready.
There's this...
summer camp that I heard about up in Maine.
A summer camp? Is this a joke?
What is this, a joke? A summer camp in Maine?
Guys! Guys! Guys! Come on! Come on!
It's a funny joke, but if it's not a joke, I mean, come on...
Hey, hey, hey, hold on. Hold on, guys.
Let's see where she's going with this...
I'm thinking I go up there undercover.
Get the real story, right?
What the teenagers are doing when the parents aren't around.
I know I'm 24 years old, but...
I could pass for a teenager, you know, with the right clothes.
Oh, wow.
- Yeah, I don't buy it. - I doubt it.
The right clothes? They don't make those kind of clothes.
God damn it! I can pull this off! I have a degree from the...
Columbia School of Journalism.
There it is. Dave, you owe me 20 bucks.
- You owe me 20 bucks. - Right, we'll call it even, Dave.
We're gonna call it even on the bet.
Degree or no degree, Lindsay,
what makes you think you can pass for 16 years old?
What makes her think she could pass for a 16-year-old?
Oh!
- Whoa. - I'll be damned.
She really does look like she's 16.
I stand corrected, Linds. I think we all underestimated you.
- You made a mistake. - Yeah.
So what do you say, Alan?
You gotta understand. It's... it's just not our normal beat.
- Yeah, we don't do that. - It's not our beat.
- It's rock and roll. - Guys! Guys!
This is Rock & Roll World magazine!
Are we just gonna cover rock and roll?
Or are we gonna cover the world?
- Yeah. - She's got a point.
We gotta cover the world. That's in the title. Rock & Roll World.
Five thousand words on summer camp. Make it count.
All right, I'll call TWA.
We're half past the top of the morning here
on the first day of Camp Firewood.
Today's the day you let everybody know just who you are.
-Are you a jock? An artist? Yeah!
Maybe you're a cool kid. A loner?
Who you sit next to at lunch today
could set the stage for the rest of your summer.
And do yourself a favor,
folks. Don't get caught picking your nose,
or you're gonna be known as the Booger Kid,
and we got eight weeks to go.
Now, my schedule spies
tell me that the activity orientation stations
are up and running right about now, so check 'em out.
Ow, my balls! God!
Let us know what's hot and what is not.
As always, you got the
Beekeeper spinning only the platters that matter.
Now, I really shouldn't do this,
'cause it'll piss off the bean counters,
but what the hell!
Let's do ten songs in a row, commercial-free,
right here on WCFW in the Beehive!
I had no idea how I was gonna convince a bunch of teens
that I was just like them and not a 24-year-old
with a lifetime of sexual and career experience.
Little did I know, this summer camp in the woods of Maine
would change the trajectory of my entire life.
Can't beat me. You can't beat me.
Hey, guys. Let's do this, okay?
We're gonna build a story one word at a time.
It's really fun. I'll go first.
- Once... - Upon...
A...
Fart.
- As always, very original, Drew. - I know.
- Let's try again. - Okay.
- Once... - Upon...
A...
Titty!
Come on, guys. This could be
very rewarding if you actually made an effort.
- I don't think so. - No.
Do you have a boyfriend, Katie?
Yes, his name is Blake McCarthy,
and our parents vacation together in Nantucket.
Is he cute?
Uh, yeah, he's a total fox.
Like a younger Larry Wilcox.
Ooh.
What about you guys? Do any of you have boyfriends?
Well, what about over there?
You think any of them are cute?
Ew, gross.
Boys are disgusting!
They make me barf.
Well, I'm sure you feel that way now,
but I bet you that's gonna change.
Amy keeps staring at brown shirt over there.
I don't know.
He seems... nice.
Kevin, why don't you... Why don't you try this time?
- Go ahead, Kev-Kev. - Kevin?
Hey, Coop, I gotta take a whiz. Thanks, man!
Screw you, Kevin, okay? Buh-bye.
What's up, buddy? You seem distracted.
That girl over there. I think I like her.
- Maybe you should go talk to her. - But what would I say?
Look, last year I was terrified to talk to this girl, Donna,
but then on the very last day of camp,
I did talk to her, and now she's my girlfriend.
So, anyone can do it...
Hey! A cool thing is happening over here! Everyone run toward it!
- Should we go? - Yeah, let's go.
All right.
Oh, that's my girlfriend, Donna! Hey, Donna!
Wow.
Who is this guy?
That's Yaron. He's the new Soccer Counselor.
He's from Israel.
- Ya-what? - Yaron.
- What? - Yaron.
- Ya-reun? - Ya-ron.
Ha!
Whoo!
Ha!
Wow.
I'm so happy to meet all of you.
In Israel we have a saying...
It means, "Will you dance with me?"
And that is how I feel about all of you.
Men, women, counselors, campers...
I want you all to dance with me.
So, bevakasha, uh...
Yaron, where do you live in Israel?
I live on a beach south of Haifa, Hof HaBonim.
Oh, I've been there. I've seen the guys all playing matkot.
Matkot! You know this?
When were you in Israel?
This past winter I was there. I just... yeah.
Hey, popsicles! Let's go! Let's go! Let's go!
Oh, my gosh. Can I have one of those?
I've just been, like, dying for a cigarette.
Of course.
You guys, you can't smoke at camp.
You're cute.
Mmm.
I really miss these. They're not as strong in the States.
Well, I brought many, so... anytime.
Be careful what you offer.
I'm Gerald Cooperberg. I'm Donna's boyfriend.
Well now, for me, it's time for...
I have to play for... teaching soccer for kids.
Oh, for soccer.
And so, see you soon.
Yeah, saba... ba.
Donna, I can't believe you smoke now.
You should try it. You might like it, Coop.
Oh, I don't know. I...
- Come on! - Okay.
You look sexy with a cigarette.
- Really? - Yeah.
Do you wanna, like, go have lunch or whatever?
I'm probably gonna skip lunch.
Just 'cause I'm not really into the ersatz food thing.
Oh, yeah. Right.
Ersatz stuff in general is pretty dubious,
is kinda my take on that.
Maybe we could then go
back to my bunk and just, like, do whatever...
Uh, Coop, I don't know if I can,
just 'cause I have to
unpack and take things out of bags and stuff.
- I'm kind of slammed right now. - Yeah.
Um, but I'll see you later.
Sure, yeah. You want to make a scheduled time for that, or...
Bye.
Okay, all the campers are accounted for.
You want me to cross-check against the yellow list?
Yes, just don't ask me. Do whatever.
Hey, whoa, are you okay?
Yes, I'm okay. Nothing is wrong, all right?
I just don't need you giving
me the third degree about my mental state!
I'll fix it. Pass it over here. I can look at it.
But be careful. It's my favorite cassette.
I'll bet you he can fix it.
- Oh, man... - Shit.
Who is that?
I don't know, but God dang it, she's smoking!
- Hi, I'm Lindsay. - Hi.
- Hi, Lindsay. - Hi, Lindsay.
- Hey. - So, I'm a new counselor here.
- Cool. - Cool.
- Cool. - Yeah.
So where are you from, Lindsay?
Where am I from? Where am I from?
I'm from, I'm from, I'm from, I'm from...
Manhattan... ville. Manhattanville.
- Cool. - Where is that?
It's in Ohio.
- Hmm. - All right.
Oh, which part?
The center... up... state, down.
- The downtown. - Oh, okay. Cool.
Can I sit down?
- No, no, no, sit right there. - Join us.
We were just listening to some music and...
Yeah, some top hits.
You know what works great for that? Butter knife.
That's how I fix it in the office.
What office?
The officer... Officer Jones.
Oh.
- Cool. - Yeah.
Oh, no! I gotta go!
What's wrong with her?
Hmm...
Oh, no, oh, no, oh, no.
Honey? Sweetie, are you okay?
Uh, I think so.
I have a feeling I know what's going on.
You need one of these?
Oh, uh...
Thanks.
Uh...
Where do I... put it?
Oh...
Just... up in the... Where the...
- Where it's coming from? - Thanks.
It's not so bad, is it?
I feel different. I feel...
Weird.
Well, it takes some getting used to.
Abby Bernstein, I do believe you've just become a woman.
Are you sure you can't tell?
Your secret is safe with us.
- â™?Electric ways â™?- Bravissimo.
People, that is how it's done.
Becky, Danny, I hope you were paying attention.
You guys are our leads. We need to feel the love between you.
It's called acting.
Yes, Ben, but it's a little more complicated than that.
We never want to know you're acting.
You have to be it so we don't see it.
You have to live it or we won't forgive it.
You have to inhabit it or leave it in the cabinet.
Hiya.
Sorry I'm late. Guy jumped in front of the F Train.
Everyone, this is my assistant Rhonda.
She's come up from the city to help us out tonight.
She's going to teach you the new choreography.
All right.
This one's with a hitch-kick, right into a ball change.
Don't let your ball change look like a box step
and your grapevine needs to travel!
- Huh? Ya got that? - She's sassy.
From the top, guys. I want pizazz.
I want oomph, I want hips, hips, hips. Energy! Okay?
From one. No marking.
Five, six, seven, eight!
Stop! Stop!
Stop moving!
Claude, according to Actors' Equity rules,
we need to break for lunch.
Oh, wow.
I think we really need to keep working. Curtain's in six hours.
We haven't even rehearsed the "Death Row Boogie" Number.
Ben, Equity rules are Equity rules for a reason.
Susie's right, Ben.
Just because you're an
amateur doesn't mean you have to act like one.
Ladies and gents, that's lunch!
One hour. It's a walk away.
And I mean one hour. No dillying, no dallying.
Susie, I am impressed with your
knowledge of the professional theater regulations.
Very impressed.