Ethereal
just like a drug getting into my body,
that's how filling myself with his sex felt like,
that's how contemplating at each one of his eyelashes was like
that's how licking both of his lips was like,
exquisit pleasure going all over my mind
ending in an explosion a few centimeters bellow my navel
but one day he decided to leave
I was't good enough to deserve such a god beside me ,
I wasn't worthy to raise up in his wings to the highest point in the world of mortals
I let him go without saying a word,
he took his leather jacket smelling like cigar and expensive perfume,
looking at me with certain pity and endearment at the same time
while he walked out the old door of my bedroom
when he closed it
I knew I would not see him ever again
I tried that thousands of tears flood that little room and get the water up my nose until I couldn't breathe any more
but only small pieces of wadding and cotton fillings came out of my eyes
as I contemplated with sadness the worn seams in my torso and thought about my miserable existence
then with my shaking hands I kept on pulling out that white and spongy padding from my tired body
All around me turned into clouds, I touched heaven on earth,
so I kept on doing it until I was empty and lifeless
however, I always felt that way
the bed always full
but an empty soul