Hmm... Let's see...
Hmm... it can't be, no.
Two months, it's been two months.
The 5th... yeah the 5th.
- Come on, King! - Let's go, man.
My God! Here we need the female touch, huh?
- And Sandra? - She's coming.
Could you lend me $10,000 pesos?
I think...
Mario...
you never gave me the other ten I lent you.
Ah, right...
- How much do I owe you, man? - $10,000 pesos.
Let's take care of that immediately.
Here's $5,000.
- I owed you ten. I gave you five. - Yeah...
- Then I owe you five. - Yeah...
Here you go...
$10,000. Now you owe me five, man.
How's that?
Sure, you owed me five. I paid you ten. You owe me five.
- Thanks, now we're even. - Exactly.
- So... could you lend me ten now? - Now OK, man.
- Thanks. Ready? - Let's go.
Come on, Sandra. Hurry up!
Mario!
- Hi! - Hi.
- Did I take long? - No, not at all.
Mario's difficult sometimes.
He really yelled at me. I need time to get ready.
You put them on.
What?
- The earrings I gave you. - Oh, yeah. How do they look?
You look pretty.
Let's go so I don't miss the flight.
Listen... could you lend me $10,000 pesos?
It's the end of the month and I have to pay some bills.
Yeah, here.
- Did I owe you something? - I don't remember.
Me neither!
- Let's go. Mario'll pay you back later. - Yeah.
THE KING OF FOOLS
- Hurry up. - Yeah.
- Good moming, Mario. - Morning, Hector. You're late today... me too!
Sandra, for God's sake! You always do the same thing.
- Oki Stop shouting at me. - In a bad mood, man?
- Sandra and the pen. - The pen?
- You didn't hearabout it? - No.
- Yesterday he lost his pen. - Was it very expensive?
No, no man. It's just that I can't go to work without a pen. You know?
Because when people go to the bank, they never bring a pen. Can you believe it?
No one comes with apen. Then what do they do?
They start looking forone. And who has one? The security guardi He always has a pen,
but only one because it's difficult to keep track of more than one.
Do you think anyone ever tried to return the pen?
Never! They put the pen in their pocket like it was the most usual thing...
they go and get in line. But I go up to them and stare at them...
to see ifthey realize that the pen is my pen.
And they act as ifthe pen had always been theirs.
So, gently without showing any trace of anger,
I point at their jacket just where my pen is.
Look how people are... just then they realize!
Excuse me, sir. Here it is. Thanks so much!
I'm just getting it back when I see another guy without a pen. You see?
I can't lose the pen!
Taxi, Sir? Taxi!
He was mine! Mine!
Yesi Where to, sir?
Hey, your shoes! Tie your shoes!
Heyi
They're Russians! They're really complicated.
Do you know how to speak Russian?
Ehhh Taxi?...
No? Taxi?
Taxi? Nothing?
...I'm here with luggage...
What?
...everything... I don't care!
What do you think?
Yeah, I'll call you back.
- Miss... you know? - Adriani
Yeah, he went that way.
Don't worry! I'll get him. Don't worry.
Hey, come over here.
Here he is. Hey, kid!
Adrian! Adrian!
That candy... where'd you get it?
I gave it to him.
The thing is today's ChiIdren's Day here so the Taxi Union...
...invented this thing to give away candy to chiIdren.
He gets so silly sometimes, it drives me crazy. Does it hurt much?
No! It was just a tap! Do you need a taxi?
What am I gonna do with you?
- Sorry... did you say something, Miss? - No, I was talking to the boy.
TAXI DRIVER RETURNS MILLIONS
That's me.
It was all overthe papers.
Don't ask me how someone can leave 24 miIlion pesos in a taxi.
But it happened. These things happen.
You know what I did?
I went to the police and I returned it. What do youthink?
Incredible.
Incredibly foolish!
Sorry, but I need to call things by their name!
Since then everyone has been calling me "King".
King of Fools that is!
You owe me one.
No. No, thanks.
- I need a favor. - Tell me what you need.
- Do you have a phone where I can reach you? - Yeah. Look...
here's my card. You can call me here.
I do special trips. What ever comes to mind. I'm at your service!
- Anselmo I have to ask you a huge favor. - Whatever you need, my darling.
Come on!
- I need you to stay with Adrian for a while. - What?
I can't take him with me!
- But Miss... - Eva.
- Miss Eva... - I'll come get him wherever you are.
I promise I'll pay you.
I know it's hard to understand, but I need this favor.
I'd do whatever happily, but...
- The boy's my guarantee. - But I have to go back to work...
to the airport. You see? It's a lot of responsibility. I just can't.
It's an emergency. I swear if I could do it another way, I wouldn't ask you.
And what happens if the boy... get's hungry and he wants some milk?
Adrian is very good. He's not a problem.
He never cries and he'll eat anything.
But what are you saying? It's your kid!
He's not a pet you can leave with a neighbor when you go on vacation.
- Please... - Can I tie this?
I beg you. It's just for a little while. I promise I'll pay you... Whatever you want.
- Whatever I want? - Whatever you want.
Fine. If I help you, don't think it's because of self-interest.
Thanks.
How do I look?
Beautiful!
I'll be right back. Don't worry, OK?
Take care of him... don't let him lose that bear...
...once we couldn't find it, he didn't sleep for three days.
- OK, I'll take care of 'em. - Thanks.
You couldn't hold it a little...
Do you know your Mom's phone number?
Or some relative's?
And your Dad?
What's this?
Oh, crap! The gringos left it.
- They gave it to me. - What do you mean?
Because it's Children's Day.
You think I was born yesterday, huh?
Give it to mei
Can I see it?
That's an expensive one. Where'd you get it?
Um, I bought it. It was on sale.
- And... What are you gonna do? - What am I gonna do?
Take him home with me. Wait till she calls. What else can I do?
I don't know how you put up with it.
You know how? From the heat... from the pure heat...
From the heat of the motor.
Yeah... you have to put oil in more often.
- Yeah and with what money? - There you need to invest.
- If not, you're gonna destroy your motor. - You're right.
I take just the smallest curve and my motorstops.
Cold water, man. Cold water is the best thing in these cases. For the radiator.
- And think with your head. - You didn't see the model.
Sporty! What year could it've been? An '81.
- A good year! - Double airbag, front and back.
Tight... It had those halogen headlights, and the high beams on.
Only one owner, never used as ataxi.
Just one owner? You'd need to see those papers.
And look under the hood just to be sure.
- I'd love to look under the hood! - Yeah, but don't be so trusting, man.
On the outside she might look great... but a cylinder might be worn out...
Pistons might have problems... You never know.
A beauty like this can take a 100,000 fuckometers before adjusting.
Adrian, why don't you get dressed... and let's go.
You need to calm down and take a cold shower.
You didn't see her. She was a movie star, I swear.
That's why you're lost, you fool!
These women take advantage of you to get whatever they want!
She's a criminal... I know people just by looking at them.
- But you haven't seen her. - Doesn't matter! What you've said is enough.
Just looking at a person I know who they are. I do this for hours at the bank.
Look overthere... he's a jockey who's trying to lose some weight before his next race.
And that fat guy there... is a Spaniard who has a bakery...
and he always comes here after he meets his lover.
- Yeah, but we know him. - Fine, but it's all the same. Believe me.
- Can I borrow this? - Sure.
20,700...
Sorry...
17,500...
What'sthe matter?
You don't like it?
I want my Mom.
Look, it's yummy...
- I want my Mom! - No, you can't cry here.
- I want my Mom! - Look! You hear that? You know who that is?
Those are the cops. In this buiIding...
when chiIdren are bad and start to cry, the cops come and take them prisoner.
Look... the cops. Let's do something.
We're gonna sit here and turn on the TV.
When the cops come, we'll say you weren't crying.
It was the TV. OK? There... nice and quiet.
Hi... Mario told me already.
Hi therei Poorkid. The little creature... abandoned.
Why do these things always happen to you?
Because that's the way it is.
- Because I'm the King, that's why. - Yeah, silly...
All right!
Hello there, sweetheart!
Look at that. It wasn't the cops. It was my friend Sandra. We're saved!
What cops?
I told Adrian that in this house you can't act up or cry...
you have to eat all yourfood or the cops come and take you away.
Oh, you're dumbi
No, it's a lie, OK? Cops don't take kids away!
- What happened? Were you crying? - I didn't do a thing. I don't think he liked the food.
- I wonder what junk you gave him. - The same junk I eat every day.
I know what this little guy wants.
He wants Uncle Anselmo to take us out...
somewhere nice where there's a playground and we can get something to eat...
we'll drink soda and play. That's what you want?
Mmm... Just what I was thinking.
But you can't go like that. Where are you rthings?
Over there.
- Say"attack". - Attack.
Say "water".
Why are you getting married? The fashion is to get divorced.
I don't know. We're fine the way we are. But Mario... got it in his head.
You know how apprehensive he can be.
I should marry a miIlionaire.
If a guy showed up with a suitcase of money, I'd leave Mario and marry him.
What?
OK, here... but it's the last.
It's not fair. I saw you first.
Anselmo, no kidding.
I'm insecure enough. I don't need anyone making me more insecure.
So you preferred a security guard. It's more secure than a taxi driver.
No.
Let me tell you something. It was hard to decide between you two.
Yeah? Really?
- I didn't know that, I would've tried harder. - See?
Then you didn't like me so much.
No, I always thought you were too pretty for me.
Hello, yes...
Speaking.
Yes... Finally! I thought you'd never call.
Adrian? He's fine.
He behaves well, almost like he wasn't even here.
We went out for something to eat. You want to talk to him? Impossible.
We're playing hide-and-seek.
Sure, whenever you want. My address is on the card.
But don't hurry. If you want tomorrow or... I can drop him off.
OK, I'll wait for your call. Yeah! Think about it. See you later, thanks.
Where did this little guy go?
There he is!
Heyi
It's nothing. You know how those alarms go off for nothing.
What do you mean, nothing?
That's the third time someone's stolen that mirror.
- Maybe it wasn't on purpose. - What'd you mean? If I catch 'em, I'll kill 'em.
- No! - What's wrong?
Revenge is nevergood. It kiIIs the soul and poisons you.
- Are you a fool? Or just acting like one? - Exactly, the King to be precise.
- Ready? - Let's go.
- And now what? - No, it's just that the food didn't agree with him.
Shit!
This little boy has a problem.
- Yeah... don't tell Mario. - Are you crazy? He might call the cops.
Maybe his Mom is a con artist. He must've learned this somewhere.
Why don't you ask him what his mother does?
- You think he'll tell the truth? - ChiIdren and drunks always tell the truth.
Ask him now. I'll go look for something to make the bed.
Hey, Adrian. What does your Mom do?
- Swim. - Swim.
Are you sure?
I'm not asking what she does for fun, but what she does at work. Understand?
- What does she do at work? - Swim.
We're not getting anywhere. He's autistic or something.
I'm thirsty.
There's water for you in the kitchen. Go get it.
What's up?
You really liked me?
A lot.
And why didn't you eversay anything?
I thought you weren't interested.
Everytime the three of us went out you left us alone.
- But I always ended up paying the bill. - Don't be like that. Mario didn't have a job.
At least he had a girlfriend.
I want you to promise that when I get married, we won't talk about this again.
For me, marriage is for ever and this only confuses me.
If we didn't take advantage of our opportunity, it's not Mario's fault.
I don't want to live with the ghost of what could've been.
No, you're right. I'm happy foryou.
I'll go along with it. You and Mario will make a lovely family.
- What'sthe matter, my love? - When is my Mom coming?
She's coming soon. Now you need to go to bed.
It's very late and chiIdren at this time need to sleep.
So we're going to take off your sneakers...
and you're going to sleep in this nice bed...
with your bear and Uncle Anslemo is going to tell you a bedtime story.
Good night.
Good night, King.
Are you really a king?
Yes. But even more than a king... I am the Emperor of Fools.
- What's that? - What?
A fool.
Fool comes from...
good...
being foolishly good.
I'm King of the Good Guys and I fight against the King of the Bad Guys.
- Now go to sleep. - And my story?
Give me a break... I've had to take care of you all day.
I take you out and you get into a mess. Now youwant a story?
Besides I don't know any stories.
OK, I'm remembering one...
this is the story of a boy.
A boy like you. A normal boy.
Maybe a little more shy than normal because he was really quiet.
This boy didn't like to talk. He liked to watch.
Most of all he liked to watch from his window how the snow fell.
You know about snow? Yeah?
Then close your eyes...
imagine that snow is falling.
And it keeps falling and falling...
You know why? Because this story takes place in Punta Arenas.
Punta Arenas is a city far away, almost at the end of the world...
and in the winter there's lots of snow. That's why the penguins like living there.
With the cold, the lakes freeze and the penguins skate on the ice.
The hunters come with their shotguns and try to catch them...
But they just skate away.
The mother of this boy was very poor and had to work hard to support her family,
that's why the boy didn't care.
Know why? Because he had his window.
His window where he watched the world. He could see many things.
He saw in the mornings how the milkman came and left milk at his house.
The poor man worked through the worst storms and he was always cold.
Maybe that's why he did what he did. Do you know what he did?
And he never said anything because he didn't like to talk.
That's why people thought he was spoiled and maybe even a little dumb.
Nobody imagined that in time he would even have his own taxi,
paid in installments, sure... but his own taxi.
He would even become a King, the King of...
Anselmo?
I've been thinking, I'm gonna come and live with you. I don't really love Mario.
- It's you I love. - Really?
I'd love it, but I couldn't do that to Mario. He'd kiII me.
Excuse me, but I couldn't help hearing what you were dicussing.
It's not what you think, my friend.
But what's the problem? It's fine with me. You make a good couple.
Relax.
Hello.
Eva!
- Sandra, this is Eva... Sandra. - Nice to meet you. Are you a couple?
Yes, we're going to get married. Did you come to get Adrian?
- I can't take him. Can he stay with you? - Eva, he's your son.
If you accept, I'll leave the suitcase with the money.
- Ah, say yes! - Fine, if you can't take him.
- Let's go to bed then? - The three of us?
- Yeah. Does that bother you? - No, on the contrary.
- Sounds like someone's at the door. - There's no reason to open it.
- It might be important. - You go and we'll wait for you here in bed.
Anselmo, why don't you go?
Because this is a dream. If I get up and open the door, that'll be the end of it.
- Then what do we do? - Let's hurry, before it's too late.
Please! Something like this will never happen to me in real life.
- Adrian? - Shh, he's sleeping.
Come in.
Don't worry. I took good care of him. I didn't lose sight of him for even a second.
- How'd he behave? - Fine... the typical mischief kids get into.
- Are you OK? - Yes.
Do you want something hot?
A tea, coffee?
- A glass of wine? - OK.
I don't know where it is.
I swearl had it... Here! I can open it with this.
- Do you have anymore tequila? - No, I ran out. But I'll open this right away.
And these marks on the days?
That... the thing is...
I don't have much luck with ladies. I'm a bachelor...
nothing... it's stupid.
Yeah?
How can I explain? If at some point, something works out...
lfl get lucky with a girl, then I put a check, otherwise I make an "X". You see?
- It's siIly. - You mean you put a check on the calendar...
...every time you sleep with a woman? - Yeah.
- You're a psychopath. - No, it's just siIliness.
- A psychopath with very little luck. - Don't believe it. Today I was on the verge.
- Your luck is going to change. - I hope so.
- You're going to fill that calender with checks. - I wish.
I am thankful for your help and you behaved really well with me.
It was nothing.
For me it was a lot and I need you to continue helping me.
- That I continue helping you? - Nothing difficult...
ljust need you to do what I tell you and not to get nervous.
If you're good to me, I'm going to be good to you.
You know you can ask me for whatever you want.
- Whatever I want? - Whatever you want.
What I want is... water.
Cold water.
What are you doing?
Following the advice of a friend. Eva, this is as far as I go. Look... relax.
- I don't know what you're mixed up in. - I can explain!
I don't want to know. I was your babysitter all day. Just take the boy and go.
I don't know anyone. They'll do anything. You don't knowi
I have my own problems. So please just take the boy and go.
- And where am I gonna go? - What do I know? A hotel.
I can't jeopardize my chiId. Don't be mean. What do you want?
- Nothing. - That I beg you? What?
I know what you want.
Don't be stupid. Take advantagei I'm in yourhands.
Let go!
I don't understand! And you're color's coming out.
Get out!
Fine.
WiII you give me a glass of wine before I go?
OK. Let's do it right.
I mean... I'll serve you a glass of wine, we'll toast and you'll leave.
Even better... we have a drink...
and I return the favor. What do you think?
Really! I don't want you to feel obligated.
I did you a favor and fine, you understand?
It's not that I don't like you. I think we should get to know each othermore.
What are you doing?
I must be dreaming again. That's it. If there's a knock on the door, don't open it...
Don't even think about it.
Thank you sweet Virgin.
We aren't out of practice, buddy. We made her crazy...
Oh Daddy... oh my sweet Daddy.
What's up, man? Didn't you have to leave early?
Shh! The boy is sleeping.
Looks like I'm staying.
- You're not going to work? - No... If you only knew.
Reality is even stranger than fiction.
Ummm... I see.
- What's going on? - Nothing, my love. He's a neighbor.
- A cop neighbor? - No, my love...
It's Mario. He's a security guard at a bank.
Mario, this is Eva. Eva, Mario.
- Nice to meet you. - A pleasure.
Anselmo, why are you so late?
Who's she?
Don't worry. We'll go by subway.
- Great. - Let's go, Sandra.
- Who's she? - Let's goi
Bye.
- And who was that? - That's Sandra, Mario's girlfriend.
Yeah?
- She got all jealous didn't she? - You think?
Could you give me a minute.
- What's going on, Sandra? - Nothing.
I'm not late so I can wait for you.
- And Mario? - I told him I forgot something...
and he got mad and left.
The thing is, I'm gonna be a while more inside.
No, it's fine. I have time. I'll just wait anyway.
You're not a little jealous are you, Sandra?
Jealous? Who do you think you are? Brad Pitt?
- Good morning. - Hello, good morning.
Well, I think it's better if you take a taxi cause it's gonna take me a while.
I'm ashamed of youi You're so stupid you don't realize that bitch is using you!
She doesn't know anyone. Someone's got to help her.
Oh sure... and it was so cold last night you took herto bed with you.
- No, it wasn't like that. - How could you?
Last night you kissed me and then you went to bed withthat bitch.
- Late again? - The story of my life.
- And you didn't sleep with Mario? - It's not the samei
- How's that? - No, because I'm going to marry Mario!
Perfect... then I don't know why were talking. We don't have anything to do with each other.
Yeah, no... you're right.
We have nothingto do with each other. And even thanks...
because last night you made me doubt, but now I realize you're a jerk!
Sandra.
Hello.
Problems?
No, my love...
I had a debt she was trying to collect.
I missed you, my little sweetie.
- Get dressed and let's goi - Yes, my love.
I prefer that you don't call me "my love" in front of the boy. I don't want to confuse him.
No problem my... I'm going to get dressed.
- It's here? - Yeah, here it is.
Where is he...? Where is that asshole?
What time is it?
- 9:30. - Where is he?
- Where is who? - Nobody.
Eva, maybe you if you'd explain... what this is about.
- I thought you didn't want to know. - Sure, but...
afterlast night...
What do you wanna know?
I don't know...
Who are you? What do you do?
I swim.
You swim?
What do you mean?
I work in a nightclub in Mexico. I swim all night long in afish tank, naked.
How's that?
Fantastic. It's fantastic. Don't think I have any problems with that.
In fact, since you have to work at night, I could stay home and take care of the boy.
There he is! Stay here.
- Hey you... - He's OK. Don't worry.
- Ah... he's "OK"? - He doesn't know anything, relax.
But Eva, fuck me! You know how they are!
He's afriend... someone had to take care of Adrian.
- Exactly, and why'd you bring the kid? - We'll talk later. Adrian, say "hi" to your Daddy.
- Hello. - Hey little guy.
Wow, but aren't you the big champ! To the airport.
- Let's go. - Hurry up asshole!
- If the accountant wakes up, we're screwed. - I gave him four sleeping pills.
That's so good... honey.
Oh yeah, my sweet Daddy... that's so good.
Fuck! What's this?
Aren't you a little horny? Across the street there's a motel, and this is as far as I go.
- Get out the two of you, the three of you. - What the fuck happened to this asshole?
- Nothing. He's just nervous. - Ahh, nervous. That's it. I get nervous, sure...
Yes? Mr. Giorgio, I'm just getting to the office. Yes?
- OK, you get out too. - Take off quickly, Anselmo.
- What? - Let's go now! Quickly!
- You want to leave your sweet Daddy here? - Don't get jealous...
- He's nothing compared to you. - How do you think I should feel?
Yesterday you slept with me and now you're kissing this tad pole!
- Please, I beg you, let's go! - Look, I have a heart also...
I thought after last night... it was important to me. I thought...
Take this and I have more. I told you I'd pay you, but goi
That's not how you raise akid. No wonderhe's all screwed up.
Don't be a fool! This is gonna make you set for life... you just have to take off!
- Everything is all screwed up! - What happened, Daddy?
They got a hold of the accountant. They're looking for you. They sent people to the airport.
Let's go to that motel untiI this blows over.
Let's go!
Anselmo, I'm gonna try to get away from him. I'll call you. Take good care of Adrian.
No way!
Eva!
I'm not keeping the kid! You take him!
- It's dangerous, Anselmo. I need to play along. - I don't care!
- Keep himi - Noi You take himi
Eva, get over here!
Come here, forget this! I'm tired of this...
- No! Anselmo, I can't take him! - Walk, walk!
I'm leaving him here. Stay here.
Understand, Anselmo! I can't take him!
Take him, Anselmo!
Anselmo!
Anselmo! Take him please!
Adrian, don't move! Please!
Adrian! The truck!
Adrian, stay there! Don't move!
Stay there!
It's OK!
Don't move!
Excuse me, Ma'am.
Please...
could you return my pen?
- Oh, yes... thank you. - We're here to serve. Have a nice day.
You see what I'm talking about? I don't get it...
- lfl lend you my pen, you have to give it back. - Yeah, but you're really...
- Excuse me. Could I borrow your pen? - Yes, Sir. Right away.
I've tried everything. I've attached strings, but no!
Man, I'll buy you apenfactory, but what can I do?
Lfl were you, I'd go to the police station and tell it all to the cops.
In fact...
- Where'd he go? - Adrian... Adrian!
- Little boy! - Adrian!
What are you doing? Come here you little rascal!
Excuse me. Let's go.
Here he is. Don't move. Here!
- OK, he's a kid, don't exaggerate. - Excuse me, Ma'am. I'll take your things.
Go right to the teller, please.
I can't take him to the cops. It's not his fault.
No, the fault is yours for getting fooled by that woman.
- What makes me angry is that I warned you. - I tried to stay cool, but I couldn't.
The truth is no one can take away the goodtimes you had, man.
- What are you doing, you little shit? - Come here.
- See why you have to take him to the cops! - Thanks, man.
What would you like to eat?
My pen?
Don't think I'm going to feed you hotdogs for your whole life.
You have to eat othert hings, fruits, vegetables...
You have to eat other things, fruits, vegetables...
- Are you mad? - A little.
Are you going to take me to the cops?
No.
- Why not? - Because I don't want you to have abad time.
Do you have a bad time when they take you to the cops?
If you've done something bad, yes.
- And if you've done something good? - Also.
- What are we gonna do now? - You know what? We're gonna go...
to my apartment and wait for your Mom and Dad. Don't you know I'm the King of Fools?
- Yeah, I know. But he's not my Dad. - No?
No.
I want you to be my Dad.
Let's be quiet. It was better when you didn't talk so much.
If you marry my Mom, could you be my Dad?
I can't marry your Mom. She doesn't love me. You don't marry someone you don't love, see?
Does Sandra love you?
I think so.
So are you going to marry her?
What happened? The shock loosened your tongue?
- If your tongue gets loose, can it fall out? - If your mouth is closed, no.
- If it falls out, can you stick it back in? - I don't know.
- Do you have to go to the doctor... - I'm gonna give you a good whack...
- What's a whack? - If you don't keep quiet...
Why don't you just be quiet...
- Are you angry? - Yes... come on, get in the car.
- But we were gonna go home. - Yeah, but now we're going in the car. Get in!
Take this.
That's $15,850.
Here's your change and your receipt. Thank you for choosing us.
- Hi. - Hi.
- Hi, Adrian. - Hi. You work here?
Before he was autistic, now he won't shut up.
- Are you still angry? - Me? Why?
- I almost got run over. - Be quiet for a minute.
- Could you check this price, Ricardo? - Yes, of course.
- What's he going to do? - He's helping me, my love.
- I was thinking that you and I have to talk. - We've said everything there is to say.
- No, the most important thing is missing. - Yeah?
- Don't marry Mario. - What?
I thought about it. He's a strong guy. He'll understand and he'll get over it.
You've gone crazy, Anselmo.
I'm tired of being the fool who always misses his chances.
- Always? You didn't do so bad with that bitch! - But I slept in the kitchen!
- I don't believe you, Liar! - We slept int he bed, but on seperate sides.
- And that satisfied grin this moming? - Maybe I slept with her, but... I love you.
- Why didn't you tell me before? - It's never too late.
- And what do you want me to do now? - Marry me! We'll have the same party, it's easy.
If I marry you, Mario'll kill you and I'll be a widow. Is that what you want?
- Is there a problem, Sandra? - No, there's a problem with the codes.
- How strange! - You know what? I don't need any of this.
Because if I marry her, he'll kill me. If she marries him, I'll die.
Andthe dead, don't eat!
So, I can save. No more supermarket,
no rent, no electric bill, no speeding tickets,
no more parking, no more credit cards.
Aaah, but you say, "You have to pay for the funeral."
Sure, the coffin and the tombstone that says,
"Here liesAnselmo, the King of Fools." But don't worry, I'm OK with something simple.
Cremate me and scatter my ashes in the sea.
Noi They can throw them down the toilet and then every time they go to the bathroom,
they'll remember me fondly.
Let's go, my little orphan.
- Mr. Anselmo? - Yes.
Nice to meet you.
Theytold usthis was your parking space. We've been waiting foryou a longtime.
- Andwhy would that be? - We need some information.
At the airport they told us you picked up a passenger, a friend of ours, a foreign girl.
Is he yours?
- Ah, yes. - He's a good looking kid, huh?
She's a pretty girl.
She's one lovely bitch. Lovely, lovely!
Do you remember her? A woman like her is difficult to forget.
God damn it! This fucking accountant!
What's going on, you faggot? Shut up!
Shut up faggot!
What are you doing?
- I thought he was finished! - But he's not, you idiot!
These supermarket bags are worth shit. They break by themselves!
Go start the motor... asshole!
So my friend... tell me now...
Where did you leave the girl?
I left her on the street. She got out and went into the subway. I swear.
So, we're just like we were when we started?
No, no, no... give him to me please.
He has nothing to do with this.
Tell me something. Is your Dad a big liar?
- How fortunate. - Boss...
I think I owe you an explanation.
This accountant wasn't a bad guy.
He just got hold of some money that he shouldn't have.
- He deserved what he got, didn't he? - Yes!
You're not going to say anything about this?
- Yes. - What do you mean, "Yes"?
- No. - No! Yes or no?
Yes, I won't say anything. No, I won't say anything. Yes and no.
You're not going to say anything?
The other thing is...
- Is this your car? - Yes.
Do you still have a lot of payments to make?
54... I'm almost finished.
Go home now. Go and I'll talk to these men.
What are you doing here? Didn't I tell you I was busy?
Lucky me, the right side.
Look...
I accept and I'll have to pay for one less part.
But let's get one thing straight, ifl catch you stealing again,
I'm gonna whack you because you don't understand words!
You have no idea the trouble I'm in because of you and your Mom.
The amount of parts I have to buy.
I can't work with my car the way they left it! It's apiece of shit now!
The onlything you're interested in is eating hotdogs and stealing!
You know how much this is gonna cost? I don't know where I'm gonna get the money.
What are you doing?
What's that?
- It's a necklace and it's worth a lot of money. - Why is it in your bear?
My mom put it there just in case we got stuck without money.
With this you can buy lots of new cars.
Excuse me! Can I come in?
What's up, man?
I don't know what happened to Sandra. She's weirder than ever.
I don't know what to do. The best thing is to leave her alone...
For now, I'll go to the bar near the park and have some drinks.
Want to come?
- Look what was in the bear. - Mmm. Comes with a prize inside?
It's a diamond necklace.
These are fake, man. They're just pieces of glass.
It's real. My mom told me and it's worth a lot of money!
It's fake. I'll show you...
Man... you know what this is worth?
You could've bought a fleet of taxis with this necklace.
- I told him but he didn't want it. - Listen, Adrian...
lfl keep the necklace I'm stealing. I'm hurting someone.
Just because someone hurt you, doesn't mean you have to hurt them. You see?
Are you reallythis good? Orare you doing this to impress me?
He's good. Really good. He is the King of Good Guys.
Here.
- This little boy has afever. - Yeah?... Really?
- Could that be why he's talking so much? - Why don't you put him in bed.
- My Mom is going to come and get me. - Yeah, she called.
But have him lie down fora little rest.
Ahh... yet another problem!
I don't know how you get mixed up in so much trouble.
Anyway, this is the trouble that bothers me the least.
Let's not start.
You really embarrassed me in the supermarket.
Maybe I said it badly... and late, but everything I said is true.
I'm not gonna leave Mario.
So we're gonna have to do something because we can't go on like this.
Go along. You always have to go along. That's life.
- Don't get me sick, OK? - OK.
- What are you thinking? - Are dreams real ornot?
Dreams aren't real. But if you really, really want something...
...you can make it come true. - I don't understand.
If you truly want something, in the end it works out. For example, tell me something you want.
I want you to be my dad.
That's a bit difficult. I could be your uncle, your friend, but your Dad...
You need to want things that are simpler. For example, know what I want?
I want abig kiosk...
where I'd sell soft drinks and magazines and candy.
And gum?
Yeah, and gum and I'd have a microwave to make melted cheese sandwiches.
And I'd have a train because this would be in a big park.
I'd take the kids in the train and Sandra would take care of the kiosk...
No... maybe not Sandra.
You got sad?
Yeah... you'd bettersleep.
Adrian... get up.
- I don't want to. I'm cold. - Get up!
No.
- Where'd you get this? - From the sauna.
- And this? - From the bank.
- Mario would die ifhe knew. - Now you won't love me anymore?
- I'll always love you. - Why?
Because that's how parents are with their chiIdren. It doesn't matter what you do,
I'll always love you.
I'll always love you too.
- Hi. - Hi.
- Sorry to bother you. - No problem.
Mario hasn't come home yet. Do you know where he went?
To the barnear the park.
- I heard the boy crying. Did he wake up? - He's not feeling well. He keeps waking up.
We'd better go into my room.
I brought you some medicine for the fever. One every eight hours.
- They're chewable so they're easy to swallow. - OK, thanks.
- I haven't slept at all. - I don't know how else to help you.
- Maybe you can give me areally good hug. - You don't give up.
I'm not asking foranything bad. Just a hug between friends.
I don't want to be one of those women who cheats on her husband before getting married.
I'm not asking for that. I understand. It's difficult but I'm goingt o get over it. No one dies of love.
No.
OK, then. Come on.
OK... that's it.
You see?
Friend.
You see?
- Nothing happened. - Nothing happened.
I'm going.
- Oops, my sweater. - The sweater.
- OK, good night. - Bye, sleep well.
- Take care. - You too.
This isn't what we agreed on.
- One more and then that's it. - One more...
- OK, I'm going. - Yeah? Already?
- Mario might come back. - Why...
Why don't you say...
that you stayed to put the little guyto sleep.
- This little guy? - Yeah, this little guy!
- Look what happened to the little guy! - Tell him to come to Mommy.
- Stop! Stop! Someone's knocking. - Again?
- Stop! Stop! - Don't open the door, don't!
Stop! It could be Mario!
He's going to kill me.
Relax!
What are we doing? He's my friend.
- He has a gun, he's gonna kill me! - Quiet! It could be that woman!
- Relax! - Don't go! Don't go!
Hide! Hide!
Isn't this Anselmo's house?
- What are you doing here? - What's it to you?
- Sandra's here cause Adrian wasn't feeling well. - What's wrong?
- His mother doesn't care about him. - Now you're involved where you don't belong!
Adrian... Wake up, my love.
I don't think it's a good idea to take him now. Why don't you let him sleep until tomorrow.
I can't. I need to leave immediately. Take this.
This is for your help and abit more for the damage to your car.
- Can you take me to the bus station? - I can't. I've a broken headlight, I'll get a ticket.
You've got enough to pay a thousand tickets. If not, I'll get another taxi.
- What do you say? Will you take me? - You're not going to keep helping her?
At least help me get my stuff downstairs. I can't do it alone.
- How do you feel? - My throat hurts.
- Such a long trip with the boy like this. - I don't have a choice, or I'd do something else.
- I missed you, my little bon bon. - Mommy, I feel like vomiting.
Lie down on the seat. We'll be there soon and you'll feel better, OK?
Here.
Give him one every eight hours.
Thanks.
Mommy?
Do you want to work in Anselmo's kiosk?
What kiosk?
- Ready? - Thanks.
- Hey, the medicine. - And your bear?
- In my backpack. - The medicine, every seven hours.
- Every eight... I know. - Every eight, yeah. And don't let him get cold.
You don't want to come with us?
Really, I'm telling you, leave it all behind. I'll help youi
- Leave all what behind? - Working every day, earning a miserable salary.
I'll visit, OK?
Thanks foreverything.
Let's go.
Adrian, Adrian you have to go.
You're choking me, Adrian.
- Bye. - Bye.
- OK? - Help me.
- Are we really late? - No, like 40 minutes.
But don't worry, brides are always late.
- Wait, wait. - Let's see... No, let me...
- No, no, no! Yeah, I'm almost... yeah, it's difficult. - No, you're...!
- No, you're choking me! - Sandra! It's almost... wait a minute!
- Sandra, be patient! - You broke it!
Don't worry. I'll fix it, I'll fix it.
No, no...
You're makeup is going to run. You're pretty like that...
You're...
too pretty like that.
I'm sorry.
Now we're going to have to count.
Yeah, I know.
Last time, I promise.
One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten.
- Friends? ...Always friends. - Nothing more than friends.
- Did it work? - Yes, perfectly... friend!
Careful with the veil.
I'm coming!
Hey...
This seat is really uncomfortable. How do you take people back here?
The truth is they've been complaining alot lately.
But I just tell them to sit on this side and there's no problem.
- You know what? There's something here. - Sandra, Sandra! Don't start fixing that now.
You're going to get your dress dirty.
He left it as a present. Don't you see?
Sandra...
- Now we can... - Count to ten.
No, you said if someone came along with a suitcase full of money, you'd go with him...
This is like five suitcases full of money. Let's go... together!
- Repeat with me! One, two... - Noi I'm tired of that!
I want to love you and that's it!
- Anselmo, you're not like that. - I'm not like that.
I don't want to be like this anymore, the King of Fools.
And who's going to be the King now... yourfriend Mario?
One... two...
three... four...
five... six...
seven... eight...
nine... ten.
Did it work?
Hello, friends! Hi there!
Here comes the train!
Here it is! We're here!
Come here, Miss. Come this way.
I hope you've enjoyedthe ride.
Remember... the next trip is at four in the afternoon!
- How was the trip, Mr. Conductor? - It was relaxed, Miss.
- And today's menu? - Something very tasty called "Eat and Shut up."
Again?
You got a postcard from Brazil.
No!
"I am..." What does it say?
"Learning..."
"I'm learning to write."
"I have another Dad."
"He's black and laughs a lot."
"Adrian."
Look. Eva writes also. "Kisses from Eva also."
Well, she doesn't write much.
MARIO'S PENS
Listen, man, here I brought you a present!
A present I'm sure you're gonna like!
I have it right here so you can see it right away!
It's pretty!
I'll show you!
I'll show you a great gift that I've bought for my friend.
Come my queen and accompany me...
with our little son.
I'm back!
- More... Move it up to the left... - What is it?
Mario to the left.
"THE KING" OF MELTED CHEESE
- Now? - Yes.
How does it look, man? It sounds betterthan the King of Fools.
Don't you think?
Translation & Subtitles Diane Greenstein & Niles Atallah