翻译 嘉禾 易大饼
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聊聊飞船修理
再吃点墨西哥卷饼吧
翻译 Vicki AkaneX
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校对 橙砸 时间轴 Kristine
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后期&压制 Jason肖 特效 小布
妈蛋的 他们又不来了 God dammit. They're not coming. Again.
监制 橙砸
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原 创 翻 译 中英双语字幕
电脑 关掉墨西哥流浪乐队 Computer, turn off the mariachi simulación.
你们最好是去买更多米勒淡啤酒 I should hope that you're all going out to get more Miller L-l-l-lights
来周二墨西哥卷饼夜了 for Tuesday Taco Night Thing.
等等 是今晚吗 我一直以为是周一 Wait, that was tonight? I could've sworn that was on Monday.
一直都是周二 你们错过了最后的三弦琴 It's always on Tuesdays, and you've missed the last tres.
我们知道你只是想骗我们和你一起玩 We know you're just trying to trick us into hanging out with you.
不 我是想骗你们来学修飞船 No! I'm trying to trick you into learning about ship repair.
我们得放多少次鸽子 How many times do we have to ghost on you
你才会放弃搞卷饼夜 before you stop with the taco thing?
你一定得来 You're coming.
直到你腻得不行 求我别弄了 You're gonna come so hard you're gonna beg me to stop.
你想得美 Yeah, you wish.
我们要去康纳·米勒的生日聚会 We're going to Conner Miller's birthday party.
他妈很有钱 他爸想成为小说家 His mom is rich, and his dad's trying to be a novelist,
所以肯定会有一场撕逼大战 so I bet they get in a big fight.
那里会有魔术师 There's gonna be a magician.
这会是我的魔术大师签名册上第一个签名 It'll be my first autograph in my awesome Magician Autograph Journal!
魔术师 六月-十二月
魔术真蠢 Magic is stupid.
也许我应该紧随他 来弄懂他的手法 Maybe I'll tag along just so I can explain how he's doing his tricks.
请不要来 我觉得你不会喜欢的 Please don't come. You know, I don't think you'd like it.
这事和家务 叫喊都无关 It has nothing to do with chores or yelling.
科尔沃 你在社交上不太行 Korvo, you don't really do well in a social setting.
这似乎就是你的风格 It's kinda like your thing.
你的逆反心理学起作用了 泰瑞 Your reverse psychology has worked, Terry.
没什么能阻挡我跟你们一起去 Nothing will stop me from joining you
这个儿童生日聚会 at this child's birthday party.
科尔沃 Korvo!
生日快乐 康纳
真浪费纸 What a waste of paper.
有儿童参与的仪式中 The only good ceremony involving children is the Jewish one
只有犹太人的割礼是好的 where they cut off the penis.
不对吗 Am I right?
慢点 Slow down!
只是放慢枪 没什么大不了 Just a slow-down ray. No big deal.
魔术 魔术 魔术 Magic. Magic. Magic. Magic. Magic.
竟然正好开始了 On the nose much?
魔术 魔术 Magic! Magic!
兔子藏在桌子下面 傻瓜 Rabbit was hidden under the table. Dumb.
假拇指 Fake thumb.
腋下藏着泡沫球 Foam ball in the armpit.
嘴里全是旗子 Mouth full of flags.
太蠢了 谁都能行 This is so stupid, anyone could do this.
我能做到 I could do this.
斯洛普星球是完美的乌托邦 Planet Shlorp was a perfect utopia.
直到被小行星撞击 Until the asteroid hit.
100名成年人和他们的孩子 One hundred adults and their replicants
获得了一只蛹仔 逃离到太空中 were issued a Pupa, and escaped into, the space,
寻找无人居住的新家园 searching for new homes on uninhabited worlds.
我们坠毁并滞留在地球这个人口过剩的星球 We crashed on Earth, stranding us on an already overpopulated planet.
没错 是我一直在讲话 That's right, I've been talking this whole time.
是我抱着蛹仔 我叫科尔沃 I'm the one holding the Pupa. My name's Korvo.
这是... 我的节目 我刚丢下了蛹仔 看到我了吗 This is-- this is my show. I just dropped the Pupa. Do you see me?
真是搞笑 This is ridiculous.
我讨厌地球 这是个糟糕的家 I hate Earth. It's a horrible home.
人类真愚蠢 People are stupid.
他们总在说自己有多爱家人 They're always talking about how they love their family,
可他们从不让家人变大 but they're never making their family gigantic.
他们都是正常大小 They're all normal sized.
如果你喜欢什么 就应该试着把它变大 If you like something, you should be trying to make it gigantic.
外星也难民 第一季 第 3 集
好了 一定要分享 All right, be sure to share.
保证底层的人吃到瑞斯牌糖果 Make sure the lower levels get Reese's
不要霸占彩虹糖 and don't hog the Skittles.
杨尤艾克 我要出门了 Yumyulack, I'm heading out.
我想早点到学校 I like to get to school early
就能看老师们在停车场喝酒 so I can watch the teachers drink in the parking lot.
等会 我想把我最新的受害者 Hold on. I just want to put my latest victim,
我是说样本 也放进去 I mean specimen, in there too.
等会 我认识她 Wait, I know her.
是那个把宠物狗的屎放进邮箱的女士吗 Is that the lady who puts her dog's poop in the mailbox?
我倒想 I wish.
她只是那家脱衣舞夜总会旁边的 It's just the waitress from the Benihana
红花餐厅的服务员 over by the strip club
为什么抓她 我以为她人很好 Why is she going in the wall? I thought she was a nice one.
我说了我不要虾 I said I didn't want shrimp!
如果我过敏 可能会死的 If I was allergic, I could have died!
这就是你想要的吗 Is that what you want?
当然不 我希望一切都能永生 你知道的 Of course not. I wish everything lived forever. You know that.
我的老天 My god.
我他妈的在哪 Where the fuck am I?
欢迎 市民 Welcome, citizen.
离我远点 Get away from me
你口袋里的东西都是我们的了 Whatever you got in your pockets is ours!
钱包 口香糖 金属钥匙 Wallet, gum, key metal--
她有钙片 She's got Tums!!
我们有话好说 We could do this the easy way
不然我用牙签射死你们 or the toothpick way.
-你们来选 -这事儿没完 - Your choice. - This isn't over.
你的牙签总会用完的 Everyone runs out of fancy toothpicks at some point.
想活命就跟我来 Come with me if you want to live.
-来自"铁血战士" -是"终结者" - That's from Predator. - It's from the Terminator.
我去 是吗 我已经说了几个礼拜了 Crap, really? 'Cause I've been saying that for weeks.
-你确定吗 -那部电影我看了几百次了 - Are you sure? - I've seen that movie a hundred times.
我们走吧 我真是个笨蛋 We should go. I'm such an idiot.
怎么了 科尔沃 你想继续 What's up, Korvo? Do you want to resume,
修正星际航行矩阵中的错误吗 correcting any inaccuracies in the cross-galactic navigation matrix?
不 我没时间放松 No, I don't have time to relax.
今天我们要搞明白我怎么能成为魔术师 Today we need to find out how I can be a magician.
魔术不是... 很逊吗 Isn't magic... lame?
如果魔术很逊 那为什么 If magic is lame, then why do you
你的全息影像里有枚硬币 have a quarter in your hologram?
什么 你可真行 What? Get the fuck out of here.
没错 好吧 我需要尽快成为最棒的魔术师 Exactly. Okay, I need to be the best magician I can as fast as possible.
这是什么情感弧线吗 Is this some sort of emotional arc?
魔术师从不揭露自己的动机 A magician never reveals his motivations.
[原句是"A magician never reveals his secrets"]
我们开始吧 Let's get started.
计算奇迹 Calculating wonder.
好了 我会按地球上最伟大的魔术师来教你 Done. I'll teach in the form of Earth's greatest illusionists.
霍迪尼 科波菲尔和神秘人 Houdini, Copperfield, and Mystery,
"致命游戏"的搭讪大师 the pickup artist from The Game.
我可以逃脱任何东西 束缚任何人 I can escape anything and neg anyone.
你没有你朋友那么火辣 You're not as hot as your friend.
哪个部分是科波菲尔 Which part is Copperfield?
另外两个人格吃掉了他 The other two personalities ate him.
我能得到个正常的导师吗 Can I please just get a regular tutorial?
好吧 处理中 Fine. Processing.
似乎你应该把简单的把戏 It seems like you should combine simple tricks
和你本来就擅长的事结合起来 with what you're already great at.
煮三文鱼吗 Cooking salmon?
电脑 把不耐烦的情感降低25% Computer, lower impatience expression by 25 percent.
你应该把高技术融入你的戏法中 You should incorporate advanced technology into your act.
外星科技与戏法结合 Combine alien technology with sleight of hand,
这样的表演一定会让人大吃一惊 a show like that would blow people's minds!
尤其是如果我们在幕间休息时供应三文鱼 Especially if we served salmon at intermission.
公爵说你没按时上缴彩虹糖税 The Duke says you're late on our Skittle tax.
我只能找到一粒薄荷巧克力豆 All I could find was a Junior Mint.
-快走 别管这些 -这他妈是什么地方 - Keep walking, don't get involved. - What the hell is this place?
这里是外星小孩建的监狱 This whole world is a prison created by alien kids.
由一个个养育箱连接构成 It's made up of a system of connected terrariums.
那帮家伙是执法者 Those guys are enforcers.
是这面墙的统治者组建的武警 They're part of a martial police formed by the ruler of the wall.
公爵的仁慈是我们的荣光
我猜统治者是公爵吧 I'm guessing that's The Duke?
还挺复杂的 It's pretty complicated.
是像"纽约大逃亡"里的纽约公爵那样吗 Is he like The Duke of New York from Escape from New York?
没错 是的 是的 就是那样 Okay, yeah, yeah, it's exactly like that.
我都忘了那部电影了 没错 完全一样 I forgot about that movie. Yeah. It's exactly the same.
杰西 那外星小姑娘 会给我们糖果和小礼物 Jesse, the girl alien, gives us candy and little gifts.
公爵会囤起来 然后再分给我们 And then The Duke hoards and distributes that,
这就是他掌权的方式 and that's just, you know, that's how he keeps control.
你懂的 Yeah, you got it.
为什么这绳子一股薄荷味 Why is this rope so minty?
因为这是牙线 我们得物尽其用 Because it's floss. We use what we have!
我裤子还是波利口袋人偶做的呢 My pants are from a Polly Pocket.
来 摸张牌 Go ahead, pick a card.
我将把这些牌变成56种已灭绝动物 I will now turn these cards into 56 different extinct animals.
我相信这是你的牌 I believe this is your card.
科尔沃 棒呆了 Korvo, that was amazing!
你什么时候成魔术师了 When did you become a magician?
我最近在偷偷学 好让你们爱上我 I've been secretly learning so you guys would love me!
那你成功了 Well, it worked!
我们应该去吃披萨 We should go out for pizza
然后好好夸下你的奇妙魔术 and talk about how great you are.
不要 No.
我本来想学魔术来引起你们的关注 You know, I thought I learned magic to get your attention,
但现在不足够了 but that's just not enough anymore.
你们现在对我来说都太土鳖了 You're all too provincial and lame for me now.
你才演了一场就飘了 You're intoxicated with fame off one performance?
没错 Yes.
但我们压根一点也不土鳖 But we're not like even, like, a little provincial.
他哪儿学来的满嘴净跑火车 Where's he getting this bullshit?
既然现在我比你们强了 Now that I'm better than you, I'm going to become
我要成为史上最杰出的魔术师 the greatest magician of all time,
你们以后会在我的传记片里 and you will collectively be portrayed as the first wife
被集体刻画成不相信我的发妻 who didn't believe in me in my biopic.
每次电影演到这儿我就停了 I always stop the movie at that point,
所以我想主人公跟亲友断绝关系后 so I assume it goes great for the protagonist
应该是会顺风顺水吧 after he cuts ties with his friends and family.
享受被落下的滋味吧 Enjoy being left behind!
这就像我跟安塞尔·埃尔格特结婚那次 This is just like the time when I married Ansel Elgort.
那个小崽子 跑出我的魔掌算他走远 The little scamp. He's lucky he got away.
我那么爱他 为什么不能打给他 I loved him so much. Why can't I call him?
我给你预约了 I got you a meeting with
跟世上最伟大的魔术师星探的面试 the biggest magician talent scout in the world.
她住在温蒂汉堡店楼上的独卧公寓 She lives in a one-bedroom apartment
就在铁路边上 above the Wendy's by the train tracks.
我还没准备好 我都没有魔杖或助理 I'm not ready, I-I don't have a wand or an assistant--
其实一样来一个就够了 I really only needed one of each.
要不然你下次表演个别瞎逼逼怎么样 How about your next trick is not complaining for once?
去你大爷的 电脑 恶语伤人啊 Fuck you, computer. Words can hurt.
这里是集市 This is the marketplace.
集市
需要什么东西可以来这儿换 If there's something you need, you can barter for it here.
集市
一般都拿什么跟人交换啊 What do people trade with?
基本就是被缩小时口袋里的东西 Well, mostly whatever they had in their pockets when they got shrunk.
你要是穿着工装短裤 那基本上就是富人了 If you had cargo shorts on, you're basically rich.
古板老爹和爱遛狗的姬佬在这里风生水起 Suburban dads and lesbian dog walkers live like kings in here.
话说 你头发挺值钱的 You know, your hair is pretty valuable.
我们可能可以拿你的刘海换点水果糖 We could probably trade those bangs in for some Mikes,
要是赶上季节了 还能吃块好的 maybe even an Ike if they're in season.
恩里克 别吃那个 Enrique? Don't eat that.
这会让你得"糖癫疯"的 You know it gives you the sugar shakes.
"糖癫疯" Sugar shakes?
我们忘了糖尿病怎么说 Yeah, we don't know the word for diabetes.
就是糖尿病啊 It's diabetes.
还真是 抱歉 我糊涂了 Yeah. S-- I'm sorry. I'm losing my mind.
我好几个月没吃蔬菜了 I haven't had a vegetable in months.
爸 就喝一小口吧 Dad, come on, just a sip.
你找到胰岛素了吗 在投放区 Did you find any insulin? Down at the drop zone?
抱歉 老兄 Sorry, man.
进来的人都只带了薄荷糖和润唇膏 Everyone who came in only had breath mints and Chapsticks.
妈的 连着好几天都是润唇膏了 Damn. We've got Chapsticks for days!
听着 我会弄到手的 我保证 Look, we're gonna make it work. I promise.
你爸爸会没事的 Your dad is gonna be okay.
如果得了糖尿病 为什么还一直吃巧克力 If this man is diabetic, why does he keep eating chocolate?
他们只给我们吃糖 Well, the only food they give us is candy.
偶尔会给个苹果或者小洋葱头 Sometimes they'll drop in an apple or a cocktail onion,
但很少见 but it's very rare.
我们得搞明白怎么跟公爵交换胰岛素 We have to figure out how to barter for insulin from The Duke.
他在这儿什么都能搞到手 He can get anything in here.
老天 他可真爱吃巧克力 Man, he is really going to town.
爸 别吃了 你根本都不饿 Dad, stop! You're not even hungry!
如果你以为我是什么普通的魔术师 If you thought I was any old magician,
不好意思戳破你的气球[幻想]了 I hate to burst your balloon.
表演结束 End of trick.
真正的魔术其实一直在你心里 The real magic was in you the whole time.
请鼓掌吧 Now, now clap.
-我拒绝 -什么 为什么 - Pass. - What? W-why?
你不是那种念"急急如律令"的 You're less "abra cadabra"
更像是"平平死人尸" and more "average cadaver."
你这人没风格 孩子 You got no personality, kid.
我可以建个盗取别人魅力的机器 I-I-I could try to build a device that steals other people's charisma
然后像化疗一样注射进我的身体 and then inject it into my body like chemotherapy.
你就是个可悲的秃顶蓝崽子 You're a sad blue creep with no hair.
你不可能成功的 It's not gonna happen.
你才是可悲的蓝崽子 You're a sad blue creep!
你怎么了 哭了吗 What are you, crying?
我... 我没哭 你才哭了呢 I-I'm not crying, you're crying!
有点瘆人 Well, this is creepy.
这一层由蝴蝶结教堂掌管 Yeah, this level is run by the Bowinian church.
是崇尚杰西的宗教 It's the religion that worships Jesse,
杰西就是给我们食物和药的外星女孩 the girl alien who gives us food and medicine.
她头上扎个蝴蝶结... She's the one with the bow--
怪不得这地方叫"蝴蝶结教堂" yeah, now, that's why they call it the "Bowinian Church."
我刚懂 Okay, I just got that.
这儿已经衍生出整套宗教了 There's already a whole religion?
你们在这里待多久了 How long have you people been in here?
时间在墙里有所不同 它能改变人 Time moves differently in the wall. It changes a man.
等会 外星人还能控制时间 Wait, the aliens can control time?
不 不 就是打个比方 No, no. It's more like a metaphor.
是这样 我们吃了太多的糖 Just, look, we eat a lot of candy,
一切都变得奇奇怪怪 and that makes everything weird.
而且这里没有日历或时钟 Plus, there's no calendar or clocks.
就把这儿当拉斯维加斯 行吧 能接受吗 Think of it like Vegas, okay? Could you just go with it?
行 天啊 我服了 Okay, geez. It tracks.
恐怕我们没有多余的了 I'm afraid we have nothing to spare.
我们的胰岛素提取自 Our insulin is derived from
我们在扭扭糖上培育的霉斑 the mold we grow on old Twizzlers.
只够我们这些人用 We only have enough for the flock.
扯淡 That's bullshit!
你是怕公爵觉得你和他竞争而生气 You're afraid The Duke will be pissed if he thinks you're competing with him!
我们就应该拿走它 We should just take it.
我会为你父亲祈祷 I'll pray for your father.
我就知道他们不会帮忙的 I knew they wouldn't help us.
-宗教就是这么扯淡 -等等 - Religion's such bullshit. - Wait!
-把这个拿走 -这是什么 - Take this. - What is it?
火腿肠 It's a Slim Jim.
这还没俩纽扣长 但总能值点东西 It's barely two snaps long, but it's gotta be worth something.
用它去交易你找的东西吧 Use it to trade for what you seek.
我不该出现在这 愿弓与你同在 I-I shouldn't be here. May the bow be with you.
蛋白质在这里就像金子一样 Protein is like gold in here.
但这对公爵而言够吗 But is this enough for The Duke?
不够 但我知道可以拿这个换什么 No, but I know what we can trade it for.
后 门
变戏法不够 我还得人见人爱 Tricks aren't enough, I have to be likable?
不可能 That's impossible!
真希望我从没学过魔术 I wish I'd never learned magic!
-来-吧 -快看 垃圾魔术 - Ta-dah! - Check it out: trash magic!
还有先变成鸽子 And the bouquet that turns into doves!
再变成翼龙的花束 That then turn into pterodactyls!
来-吧 来-吧 Ta-dah! Ta-dah!
来-吧 Ta-dah!
我通常只发看母乳喂奶反应的视频 I usually only post breastfeeding reaction videos,
但这太绝了 but this is sick.
烧伤人/伏地魔垃圾箱魔术
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纽约吉米法伦
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纽约吉米法伦
吉米今夜秀
纽约吉米法伦
吉米今夜秀
好吧 这太棒了 简直难以置信 Okay, this is so amazing, I can't believe it.
纽约吉米法伦
吉米今夜秀
纽约吉米法伦
吉米今夜秀
纽约吉米法伦
吉米今夜秀
纽约吉米法伦
吉米今夜秀
纽约吉米法伦
吉米今夜秀
纽约吉米法伦
吉米今夜秀
纽约吉米法伦
吉米今夜秀
纽约吉米法伦
吉米今夜秀
纽约吉米法伦
吉米今夜秀
纽约吉米法伦
吉米今夜秀
纽约吉米法伦
吉米今夜秀
纽约吉米法伦
吉米今夜秀
纽约吉米法伦
吉米今夜秀
纽约吉米法伦
吉米今夜秀
纽约吉米法伦
吉米今夜秀
纽约吉米法伦
吉米今夜秀
纽约吉米法伦
吉米今夜秀
纽约吉米法伦
吉米今夜秀
纽约吉米法伦
吉米今夜秀
纽约吉米法伦
吉米今夜秀
纽约吉米法伦
吉米今夜秀
纽约吉米法伦
吉米今夜秀
接下来的嘉宾 他太棒了 真的太棒了 Our next guest is, he's so great, he's so great,
掌声有请"伟大的烧伤垃圾工" please welcome "The Incredible Burn Victim Trash Man!"
我想上吉米鸡毛秀来着 I wanted to be on Kimmel.
伟大的烧伤垃圾工
明晚 维加斯维加斯赌场将 Tomorrow night, the Vegas Vegas Casino is proud
魔咒
气球魔术
创刊号
魔术周刊
伟大的烧伤垃圾工 免费魔术教学 采访吸血鬼
有幸呈现"伟大的烧伤垃圾工" to present The Incredible Burn Victim Trash Man!
为您演绎无人企及的最危险的魔术 Featuring the most dangerous trick anyone has ever attempted:
跳过黑洞 leaping through a black hole!
他要如何在引力把他的原子结构 How will he survive the gravimetric forces
都撕裂的情况下幸存 as they rip his atomic structure asunder?
明天要去拉斯维加斯看科尔沃变魔术了 We're going to Vegas tomorrow to see Korvo do tricks!
我终于要见到罪恶之城啦 耶 罪恶 I'll finally see the city of sin! Yay, sin!
我要在马戏团赌场酒店赌个够 I'm gonna bet it all at Circus Circus!
那我要拯救一位性工作者 And I'm gonna rescue a sex worker!
她将永远不用做爱 She's never gonna have sex again.
或他 Or he!
你好 Greetings.
我是世界知名魔术师威尔金斯·米考伯 I am world renowned magician Wilkins Micawber.
魔术师能有多出名 我就有多出名 I'm as famous as a magician can get,
想想第三个海姆斯沃斯兄弟 Think the third Hemsworth brother,
[指卢克·海姆斯沃斯 锤哥锤弟的大哥 名气比较小]
我的神秘同事们就像他 as are my mysterious compatriots.
我们来找"伟大的烧伤垃圾工" We are here to parlay with The Incredible Burn Victim Trash Man.
-他在哪 -他在楼上练习表演 - Where hence ye? - He's practicing his act upstairs.
任何人都不能打扰他 Nobody's supposed to interrupt him.
我好像闻到了小魔术师们的恶臭 I thought I smelled the stench of lesser magicians.
听着 你不能表演这个黑洞魔术 Listen, listen, listen. You can't do this black hole trick.
这太惊人了 It's too amazing!
你要是活下来 我们的事业就完蛋了 If you survive, our careers die.
我想做什么就做什么 别管我 I do what I want, leave me alone!
我没要他们的签名 I didn't get their autographs!
"伟大的烧伤垃圾工"让我们别无选择 The Incredible Burn Victim Trash Man left us no choice.
我知道魔术法不赞成谋杀 Now I know murder is frowned upon by magic law,
但我爱死大麻和妓女了 but I love weed and prostitutes.
所以我需要钱 So I need that money.
我们会确保这将是他盛大的生命终曲 We'll make sure this is his grand finale. Of life.
我拿不到他们的签名了 Now I'll never get their autographs.
而且他们要杀了科尔沃 And they're gonna kill Korvo!
幸亏我出来了 Pretty convenient I came out here.
蛹仔 你今天怎么回事儿 What is your deal today, Pupa?
一般不这么拿着火腿肠招摇过市 You don't toss around a Slim Jim like this
除非你要谈生意 unless you mean business.
我们需要你的"花花公子" 我们知道你有 We need your Playboy. We know you have it.
你疯了吗 Have you lost your mind?
这可是帕克10[美国大学体育联盟]的女孩 It's the Girls of the Pac 10.
每帕克[每个大学的女孩]至少得20个纽扣 That would cost at least, 20 snaps per Pac.
行行好吧 兄弟 Come on, man!
抱歉 但我不能和你交易 I'm sorry, but I can't make the trade.
这是这里仅存的读物之一 It's one of the only pieces of reading material that made it in here.
而且还有乳头 你懂的 Plus titties, you know.
抱歉 但我需要那本"花花公子" Sorry, dude, but I need that Playboy!
-佩德罗 搞什么 -我拿到了 - Pedro! What the hell? - I got it.
快走 Go!
救命 我被抢劫了 Help! I'm being robbed!
红花餐厅 婊子 Benihana, bitch.
科尔沃先生 您能具体解释下 Mr. Korvo, could you explain exactly
我们所看到的吗 what we're looking at here?
这是一个量子环 It's a Quantum Ring,
用我的宇宙飞船碎片做出的黑洞 a black hole I built out of pieces from my space cruiser.
你可能需要很多物理知识来理解... You kind of have to know a lot about physics to understand--
-看起来像星际之门 -星际之门是什么 - Looks like a Stargate. - What's a Stargate?
[1994年的动作片 里面有扇连通两个世界的门]
就是这个 在库尔特·拉塞尔的电影里排第四 It's what this is, and the fourth best Kurt Russell movie.
那今天我将通过穿越黑洞成为库尔特 Then today I will be Kurt Russell, by diving through the black hole.
如果跳的角度正确 我将毫发无伤地通过 If I hit it at just the right angle, I should pass through unharmed.
哪怕1毫米的误差 我都会死 If I'm even a millimeter off, I die and
甚至可能导致时间内爆 这我不是很确定 maybe time implodes, I'm not sure about that last part.
所以要么这是精彩的表演 So either it's a great show
要么我永远不用给离婚赡养费了 or I no longer have to pay my alimony.
我恨那女人 I hate that woman.
这里是泰得·约翰逊 在魔术表演后台 This is Ted Johnson, reporting from backstage
为您带来的报道 at a magic show.
没错 就是星际之门 Yeah, definitely a Stargate.
科尔沃 你有麻烦了 我们来警告你的 Korvo, you're in trouble! A-and we came to warn you!
但你们还有空买纪念T恤 But you stopped to get t-shirts.
这是为了防止我们人群中走散 It was in case we got separated in the crowd!
魔术师们要在你变魔术前杀掉你 Magicians are gonna kill you before you do your big trick!
我明白怎么回事了 I see what this is.
你们嫉妒了 想参与我的演出 You got jealous and now you want to be part of my show.
你们本有机会向我表示感激 You all had your chance to show me you appreciated me
只要来我的周二墨西哥卷饼之夜 by coming to my Tuesday Night Taco Thing,
然而我却不得不扔掉所有卷饼 but instead I had to throw all the tacos away.
-记得吗 之前 -不 这都几百万年前的事了 - Remember that? From earlier? - No, that was like a million years ago.
你不可能还为那事生气 You can't still be mad at that.
保安 我不认识这些人 把他们赶出去 Security, I don't know these people. Get them out of here!
他们要谋杀你 They're gonna do a murder on you!
我不需要你们 这是我的闪耀时刻 I don't need you! This is my arc!
你做了什么 What did you do?
不知道 我踢了他的那玩意儿 I don't know, I kicked him in that thing people have.
我们得分头行动 找到那些魔术师杀手 We gotta split up and find those magic murderers.
欢迎伟大的烧伤垃圾工
拉斯维加斯售罄
那么这些牌去哪了呢 And where did all those cards go?
我相信你们明天 I think you'll all be pleasantly surprised
第一次排便时会感到惊喜的 during your first bowel movement tomorrow.
女士们先生们 这是我今晚最后一个魔术 And now, ladies and gentlemen, my final trick of the night!
我将会是史上首位 I will be the first magician in history
穿越黑洞的魔术师 to jump through a black hole!
他们在那里 There they are!
天呐 杨尤艾克 My god, Yumyulack,
你把他们都割喉了 you just cut those guys' throats.
你杀了两个活生生的人 太疯狂了 You just ended two human lives. That's crazy.
但你是为了拯救科尔沃的性命 情有可原 But you were doing it to save Korvo's life, man. So it's okay.
对 没事的 我们超棒棒 Yeah, it's okay. We're good, we're good.
天呐 他死了 我的科尔沃 God, he's dead! My Korvy!
不 No!
欢迎莅临寒舍 Welcome to my humble abode.
我是公爵 暗黑的统治者 I'm The Duke. The ruler of shadows.
中坚力量 窗内顶流 贵族人士 The main vein. The big boy. The top puppy.
我的警卫说你想跟我做个交易 My guards tell me you're interested in a swap of some kind?
帕克10的美眉 Girls of the Pac 10!
你想要什么 What can I trade you for?
我们需要胰岛素 我爸要死了 We need insulin. My dad is dying.
如果我不跟你交易 真是天理难容 I'd be crazy not to take that deal.
给我的朋友们一些胰岛素吧 Get some sugar shots for my friends here!
太感谢你了 Thank you so much!
我听说你在二层引起了骚乱 I heard about the riot you caused on level two.
还蔓延到了三层 You know, it spread to three levels?
我失去了个试图控制局势的执法者 I lost an enforcer trying to shut it down.
很多人因此丧生 A lot of lives lost for that stunt.
在这种地方 和平来之不易 It's not easy keeping the peace in a place like this.
即使我们不是那俩外星孩子的俘虏 Even if we weren't the prisoners of two alien children,
一直挨这么近也受不了 it would be hard being this close to each other all the time.
每天都是折磨 It's a daily struggle.
求你了 先生 请你帮帮我 Please. sir. I beg you to be generous.
我爸要死了 My dad is dying.
孩子 我又不是怪物 Kid, I'm not a monster.
你爸爸当然能获得胰岛素 Of course your dad can have his insulin.
我们都要活下去 Our job is to survive.
你何必赶尽杀绝 You didn't have to do that!
把他们赶出去 Get them out of here.
一股贫民的恶臭味 It's starting to smell like low wall.
马克·库班的专访 酷毙了 An interview with Mark Cuban! Score!
[美国知名投资人 NBA球队老板]
今天 我们的科尔沃叶落归根 Today, we give Korvo back to the great all tree,
如他所愿 用了传统的方式 in the traditional way as he would have wanted:
接受天葬 ripped apart by noble birds.
我该怎么形容科尔沃呢 What can I say about Korvo?
显然他是家里最不受欢迎的人 Korvo was easily the least popular person in the house
泛着全脂牛奶的臭味 and he smelled like whole milk,
但我们还是会想念他的 but we're still gonna miss him.
抱歉 我不想在这里哭的 I'm sorry, I didn't want to do it right here.
我想等会儿在厕所里哭 I wanted to do it later. In a bathroom.
科尔沃很刻薄 能这么刻薄也不容易 Korvo was mean, and being mean is tight.
说得真好 That was beautiful.
-你只抓到了一只鸟 -对啊 它们太难抓了 - You only got one bird? - Yeah, they're hard to catch. Geez.
伙计 真希望在科尔沃还活着时 Man, I just wish we had gone to one of these stupid parties
我们参加了一次这种愚蠢的派对 when Korvo was alive, you know.
我们本可以当面告诉他这有多无聊 We could've told him how boring this was to his face.
是啊 尽管很明显他只是想骗我们 Yeah, even though it was clear that he just wanted to trick us
听他叨叨无聊的飞船修理 into listening to boring ship repair stuff,
不过要是他还在就好了 it would have been nice to have him around.
所以 为了纪念他 That's why, in his honor,
我把他的修船指南拿了下来 That's why, in his honor, I have brought down his manuals,
我们来看看他在船上做的事 and we are gonna read about the work he did on the ship
然后继承他的事业 and start doing it ourselves.
为了科尔沃 For Korvo.
我们现在可能是得这么做了 I guess we have to do that now.
来-啦 Ta-daaaa!
你不能再踢别人的裆了 You have to stop kicking there.
你还活着 科尔沃 你还活着 You're alive! Korvo, y-you're alive! You're--
我可是老狐狸 Alive like a fox!
你们都被骗了 "惊天魔盗团"大成功 And you all fell for it! I Now You See Me'd you!!
"惊天魔盗团" 杰西·艾森伯格的电影 Now You See Me? The movie? With Jesse Eisenberg?
它教会了我两件重要的事 It taught me two important things.
第一 任何魔术最精彩的部分都是 One: the best part of any magic trick is
花大量时间和金钱来设计一个精妙骗局 spending a ton of time and money setting up an elaborate lie.
-第二 家庭 -家庭 - And the other: family. - Family?
这要从我抛下你们去拉斯维加斯说起... It all happened when I ditched you guys for Vegas...
你看 我们原本只是四个孤独的魔术师 Yeah, you know, we were just four lonely magicians.
然后不知不觉 And then presto.
我们成为了家人 Now we're abraca-family.
我意识到我做得太过分了 我需要你们 I realized I'd gone too far and I needed you guys.
我们不仅是太空旅行团 也是家庭 We're not just a space team, we're also a family team.
所以我才雇了那些魔术师假装要杀我 Which is why I had to hire those magicians to pretend to kill me!
他们是失业的演员 They're all out-of-work actors.
别说了 我喜欢那些魔术师 Don't say that! I love those magicians!
那是因为半夜 我在你们脑子里 That's because in the middle of the night, I planted false memories
都植入了假的记忆 of them in all of your heads!
泰瑞 我们杀了其中两个人 Terry, we killed two of those guys.
我相信这只是魔术的一部分 I'm sure that was just part of the trick.
慢着 那你怎么假死的 But wait, how did you fake your death?
看完"惊天魔盗团2"之后 After I was finished with Now You See Me 2,
我看了"致命魔术"的小说 I read the novelization of The Prestige.
你看到死掉的我是克隆人 他真的不错 The Korvo you saw die was a clone. A really good one too.
他以为他是我 而且我确保 He thought he was me, and I made sure
他能感受到痛苦和其他感觉 he could feel pain and all that stuff.
我成功了 And it worked!
你们都以为我死了 还来参加我的派对 You all totally thought I was dead and came to my party!
多好的魔术 对吧 Good trick, right?
-是的 -好炫酷 - Yeah. - Amazing.
科尔沃 这是史上最棒的魔术 Korvo, that was the best trick ever!
还有谁在变魔术吗 Was anyone else doing a trick?
蛹仔一整天都是纸片人 The Pupa was a cardboard cutout all day?
你到底是谁 Who even are you?
-来-啦 -你真棒 蛹仔 太厉害了 - Ta-da! - Bravo, Pupa! Amazing!
魔术日赛高 Best day of tricks ever!
魔术 魔术 魔术 魔术 Tricks! Tricks! Tricks! Tricks!
魔术 魔术 魔术 魔术 Tricks! Tricks! Tricks! Tricks! Tricks!
好了 够了 All right, enough!
现在 熔岩反应堆有78个部分 Now, there are 78 parts of the lavatic reactor.
第一部分为绳状熔岩漏斗 The first is the Pahoehoe funnel.
它有72个分流器 It has 72 shunts.
每个分流器必须轻轻聚合 下一步才能… Each shunt must be gently jostled before you can proceed--
好吧 这太没劲了 Well, this sucks.
恩里克 我很抱歉 我不知道怎么会这样 Enrique, I'm so sorry, I don't know how this happened.
你救了我 蒂姆 You saved me, Tim.
但我不知道 没了儿子我该怎么活下去 But I don't know how I'll go on without my boy.
我… 真的不知道了 I-I-I just don't know.
缩小的人死了会上天堂吗 Do you go to heaven if you die small?
他在迷你状态死了啊 He died small!
事情本不该如此 It doesn't have to be this way.
佩德罗不必去死 Pedro didn't have to die.
我要改变这里 I have to fix this place.
一个人怎么改变世界 How can one person change the world?
先摧毁它 By tearing it down.
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冲啊 小河马 把它吃掉 Come on! Come on, hippo. Eat, eat! Come on, eat it, hippo
滚犊子 杰西 Fuck you, Jesse.
-我喜欢这游戏 -冲啊小河马 - I love this game. - Hippos!