That was the 10th time I've peed here. 我已经上了十次厕所
It's also the 10th time you've told us. 你也跟我们说了十次
Sorry,it must be hard to hear. 抱歉，你们一定听得很烦
It's easier having babies playing "Bring in Da Funk" on your bladder! 三个宝宝在你的膀胱上 蹦蹦跳跳比较好玩
I am so sick of being pregnant. God! 我真是受够怀孕了
I can't sleep,except on my back, which hurt. So I can't sleep. 我睡不着，除非睡床上 但是又会痛，等于睡不着
My only happiness is from a cup of coffee... 我唯一的乐趣来自咖啡
...which is decaf because I'm pregnant! 但它是低咖啡因的因为我怀孕
You want a cookie? 菲比，你要吃饼干吗？
Thank you so much! 太谢谢你了
So,honey,how are those mood swings coming? 你的情绪起伏还好吗？
I haven't had any yet. 我还没有这个困扰
The One with the Worst Best Man Ever 本集播出：“史上最差伴郞”
rainystar压制iPod-MP4
Hey,guys.
All right,here's the ring. 这就是戒指
Yes,yes! A thousand times,yes! 我愿意，我愿意，千百个愿意
Any ideas for the bachelor party? 单身派对有想法了吗？
Before rings and bachelor parties,you have to decide who your best man will be. 托管戒指办派对前 应该先选个伴郞吧？
Oh,it's awkward. 真尴尬，尴尬尴尬
I already asked Chandler. 我已经找钱德了
He got to do it at your first wedding. 什么？你上次结婚他就当过了
I figured you'd understand. I've known him longer. 我以为你会了解 我们认识比较久
I don't have any brothers. I'll never be a best man. 拜托啦，我没有兄弟 我永远都没机会了
You can be the best man when I get married. 你可以当我的伴郞
I'll never get to be a best man! 我没机会了啦
Wait,wait. 等一下
So you'll be my best man twice, and I won't be yours at all? 我让你当两次 你一次也不让我当？
Of course,you can be my best man. 你当然可以当我的伴郞
-What about me? You said I could. -I'm not getting married! 那我呢？你说我可以当 我又没有要结婚
It's a question for science-fiction writers. 那是科幻小说要挑战的题材
I can't believe it's not me. 你居然不找我
-How could it not be me? -I'm not even 你怎么可以不找我？ 我又没要… 我又没要…
You know what? That's it. 好了，够了
From now on, Joey will be my best man. 乔伊，从现在起你当我的伴郞
Shame about you,though. 帅！不过你真的很烂
-Stop it. -What? 别闹 怎么了？
One of the babies is kicking. 有个宝宝在踢
That's a good thing. 那不是好事吗？
It's not kicking me. It's kicking another baby. 不是踢我，是踢另一个宝宝
Don't make me come in there! 别逼我进去
Do you have a big bowl I can borrow? 有碗公可以借我吗？
There's one under the cabinet. 台子下面有一个
-Why do you need it? -We're having a party tomorrow night. 干嘛？ 我们明天要开派对，回见
-Are you planning on inviting us? -No. Later! 你们有打算要找我们吗？ 没有，回见
Get your ass back here,Tribbiani! 崔比亚尼，给我滚回来
Hormones. 荷尔蒙
How come you're having a party and we're not invited? 菲比的意思是 你们开派对怎么不找我们？
-It's Ross' bachelor party. -So? 那是罗斯的单身派对 所以呢？
Are you bachelors? 你们是单身汉吗？ 不是
Are you strippers? 你们是脱衣舞娘吗？ 不是
Then you're not invited. 那就抱歉了
Then you're not invited to our party either. 那你们也别想参加我们的派对
What party? 什么派对？
Phoebe's baby shower. 菲比的送礼会
Baby shower? That so doesn't sound like something I want to do. 送礼会？ 听起来就很不想参加，回见
I can't believe I'm going to have a party. 你们居然要帮我办派对
That's so great. A party! 太棒了，派对耶
I don't know why. 我也不懂
This is what I got going for the party liquor-wise. 在酒方面我的计划是
-Get a lot of liquor. -Great. 买一大堆酒 很好
In terms of the invite list, I got you,me and Chandler. 至于邀请名单有你、我、钱德
I'll invite Gunther because we're talking pretty loud. 我会请阿甘 因为我们讨论得很大声
I'll be there. 我会去
I know it's your party... 派对是为你办的
...but I'd like to limit the number of museum geeks. 但我想限制博物馆怪脚的人数
Let's not invite any anthropologists. Just the dinosaur dudes. 那就别找人类学家 找搞恐龙的就好
We'll need a six-pack of Zima. 好，还得买半打汽水酒
Hey,what are you doing? 你们在干嘛？
Just planning my bachelor party with my best man. 跟我的伴郞筹划我的单身派对
Good luck trying to top the last one. 祝你们办得比上次好
It won't be that difficult since this one won't be... 不难，因为这次
...in the basement of a Pizza Hut. 不会办在必胜客的地下室
I'm Ross,I'm Ross. I'm too good for the Hut. 我是罗斯，必胜客配不上我
I gotta go pick up Ben. Everything sounds great. 我得去接儿子，看样子没问题
Keep it on the mellow side. A few guys hanging out. 总之不要太疯，大家聚聚打牌
-No strippers or anything. -You got it. 不要找脱衣舞娘，好吗？ 没问题
See you later. 待会见
Have fun planning your mellow party. 好好办不能疯的派对吧
There will be strippers. He didn't say anything about no strippers. 会有脱衣舞娘，他没说不要
He just said,"No strippers." 他刚就说不要
I chose not to hear that. 我当做没听到
Look what I got,look what I got! 你看我买了什么
They make these for little people! 居然有这种童装
Little Village People. 给乡下小孩穿的
Look at this one. This is my favorite. 你看这件，我最喜欢这件
That is so sweet. 太可爱了
Phoebe will love dressing them. 菲比一定会很喜欢打扮他们
Except she won't be the one who gets to dress them. 但到时替他们打扮的不是她
She won't get to keep the babies. 因为她不能把宝宝留着
My God,we are throwing the most depressing baby shower! 天哪 这真是最令人沮丧的送礼会
Unless we give her all gifts she can use after her pregnancy. 除非送她产后可以用的礼物
Like regular coffee. Tequila! 像普通咖啡，龙舌兰 一整盒烟
-A carton of cigarettes! -She doesn't smoke. 一整盒烟？ 她又不抽烟
-It's the thought that counts. -It's a great idea. 心意最重要 好主意
And those leather pants she's always wanted! 还有她一直想要的皮裤
She'll love that! 她一定会很高兴
What the hell is this? 这是什么玩意？
You thought it'd make me feel better? 送我2个月后才能用的礼物
To give me something I can't use for two months? 我的心情会好吗？
This sucks! 烂透了
-Who gave me this? -Well,l 这是谁送的？ 我…我…
They told me you like them. 她们说你喜欢
All right,then I'm wrong. It's a great gift. The best present I ever got! 好吧，我错了 这是我收过最棒的礼物
What's my next present? 下一个礼物呢？
We don't have anything. 我们都没带
All right,fine,then this is over. 好吧，送礼会结束
Balloons! 真是的…放什么汽球
-Listen,about the stripper.... -Yeah? 对了，那个脱衣舞娘…
Good call! 叫得好
So I'll be hosting your next bachelor party? 知道下次要找谁办了吧
Joey,I'm kind of hoping this will be my last one. 我希望这是最后一次
A little announcement. 请注意
I've decided that my best man is my best friend Gunther. 我决定我的伴郞 是我最要好的朋友阿甘
What's my last name? 我姓什么？
Central Perk? 中央咖啡馆？
Thanks for not marrying Rachel. 谢谢你没娶瑞秋
Hey,Gunther! Don't forget your shirt. 阿甘，记得拿衣服
What are those? 那是什么？
Little party favors. Check it out. 派对小赠品，你看
（98罗斯盖勒单身派对）
（伴郞乔伊崔比亚尼）
Just want everybody to know the position of my best man is still open. 请注意，我的伴郞人选还空着
So is the position of the bride. 新娘人选也是
Great. 很好
Smooth,man. 有一套
You got some chili on your neck. 你的脖子沾到辣椒
I just want to say thanks,everyone. This was great! 谢谢大家，今晚很愉快
See you guys Monday morning. 星期一早上见
-Thanks,Joey. -Don't forget your shirt. 乔伊，谢了 别忘了拿衣服
Hey,museum geeks! Party's over. 博物馆怪胎，派对结束了
Wave bye-bye to the nice lady. There you go. 跟小姐说再见，快点
Back to your parents' basement. All right. 回爸妈的地下室去
Boys,come on out. Here you go. 出来吧，来
Look at the birdies! Are those yours? 好可爱喔，是你养的？
They let you keep chickens and ducks as pets? 我不知道可以养鸡鸭当宠物
And I got the duck totally trained too. 我把鸭子训练得很好，你看
Stare at the wall. 盯着墙壁
Hardly move. 几乎不动
Be white. 白白的
You are good at that. 你真行
I had fun tonight. 今晚很愉快
-You throw one hell of a party. -Thanks. It was great meeting you. 派对办得很棒 谢了，很高兴认识你
If any of my friends ever get married or have a birthday or a Tuesday.... 要是我有朋友要结婚 或是过生日、过星期日…
Yeah,that'd be great. 那就太好了
So,I guess,good night. 那就再见了
Unless you want to hang around. 除非你想留下来 是吗？
I'll let you play with my duck. 对，你可以跟我的鸭子玩
Stripper! 跳脱衣舞的
The stripper stole the ring! 舞娘把戒指偷走了
Chandler,get up! The stripper stole the ring! 钱德，起床 舞娘把戒指偷走了
-What? -The ring is gone! 什么？ 戒指被偷了
Just give me a minute to wake up for this. 先让我清醒一下
You lost the ring. You're the worst best man! 你把戒指弄丢了 你是最烂的伴郞
This isn't funny. I go to sleep,everything's cool. 不好笑，怎么办？ 我去睡觉，一切正常
I wake up,the stripper's gone, and the ring is gone! 等我醒来，舞娘不见了 戒指也不见了
-You slept with her? -Of course! 你跟她上床？ 废话
-Hi,guys. -Hi,Phoebe. 你们两个 菲比
I wanted to apologize if I seemed a tad edgy yesterday at my shower. 我想说声抱歉 我昨天在送礼会上似乎凶了点
Just the hormones. 荷尔蒙作崇
-No,we -Hormones. 别这样，我们… 荷尔蒙嘛
I wanted to say thank you. It was so sweet. 谢谢你们，你们真有心
You seem to be doing much better. 你似乎好多了，太好了
-How are things going? -Good. 你现在怎样？ 很好
Everything's been about me lately. So what's happening with you? 最近的注意力都在我 你们呢？
We were just talking about me not going to Ross' wedding. 我们正在说 我不去参加罗斯的婚礼
It just might be too hard, given the history and all that. 有那段过往 我可能很难面对
This reminds me of the time when I lived on the street. 这让我想起当年流落街头时
This guy offered to buy me food if I slept with him. 有人说我陪他上床就请我吃饭
How is this like that? 这两件事哪里像？
Well,let's see. It's not really like that. 我想想…的确不像
Because that was an actual problem. 因为那才算是问题
And yours is just a bunch of high-school crap... 你这只是高中女生无病呻吟
...that nobody really gives! 没人在乎
I'm sorry. I just thought 抱歉，我只是…
Here come the water works. 泪眼攻势来了
I called the company that sent her, and they don't care. 我已经没辄了 我打给仲介站，他们不管
I called 911 and they yelled at me. This is an emergency! 我打119又被吼 这还不算紧急事件吗？
I really wanna help you out, but I got plans to go see Titanic... 我真的很想帮忙 但我打算去看“铁达尼号”
...so I've got to call 911 to find out what time it starts. 所以我要打119问场次
Hey,guys. 我来了
Thanks again for last night. What a great party. 谢谢你，派对办得很棒
The guys from work had a blast. 博物馆那伙人玩得很爽
One of them had never been to a bachelor party before. 其中有一个没参加过单身派对
Another one had never been to a party before. 另一个没参加过派对
So that wedding ring. 那个结婚戒指
-Man,that is nice. -Yeah,right? 可真漂亮 漂亮吧
I might pick one of those babies up for myself. 我也想买一个
Where might one get one of those? 要去哪里买？
When my grandmother first came to this country... 那个戒指？ 我奶奶刚来到这个国家时
...that ring and the clothes on her back were all she had with her. 全身上下只有那只戒指 和一小包衣服
So you might say that the ring is irreplaceable. 所以那只戒指可说是无可取代
Absolutely. It's been in my family for generations. 当然，它是我家的传家宝
Every bride who's worn it has lived a long and happy life. 每个戴上它的新娘 都能幸福到老
So you might say it's a magic ring. 所以简直算是一只魔戒
Yeah,the stripper stole it. 被脱衣舞娘偷了
What? 什么？
-What did you just -I think I heard what he said. 你刚才说… 我想我听到了
I believe it was, "The stripper stole the ring." 应该是说… “被脱衣舞娘偷了”
My ring? My wedding ring? 偷了我的戒指？我的结婚戒指？
The stripper stole my wedding ring? 脱衣舞娘偷了我的结婚戒指？
How could this happen? 怎么会这样？
It all started when you said, "Joey,you be my best man!" 原因就在于你说了 “乔伊，你来当我的伴郞吧”
All right. I'm going to call the cops. 好，我来报警
I screwed up. But you don't have to turn me in. 我搞砸了你也不用报官捉我
-Not on you,on the stripper. -I already did that. 不是捉你，是捉那个舞娘 我试过了
They said they'd look into it after they solve all the murders. 他们说等侦破所有谋杀案再说
-We'll call the company that sent her. -I did that too. 那就找仲介站 我也试过了
They wouldn't give me her real name. 他们不肯透露她的真名或电话
They said if I bother them again, they'd call the police. 他们说我再打去就要报警
I said,"You talk to the police, you tell them I'm missing a ring." 我说“你去啊” “就说我掉了一只戒指”
So,what are you telling me?
There's nothing we can do? 难道一点办法也没有？
-How could this happen? -Look,Ross,I am so sorry. 怎么会这样？ 罗斯，我真的很抱歉
What if we just called her... 我们可以再叫她一次
...used a fake name and had her come to my office? 用假名把她找去我的办公室
That sounds like fun, but we got a ring to find! 好像不赖，但我们得找戒指
Here's your tea,Phoebe. 菲比，你的茶
It's so good. 感觉真好
Thanks. 谢谢
-Good. -So glad you like it. 那就好 你喜欢就好
What? She made the tea. 怎样？茶是她泡的
I think I just had a contraction. 不是，我刚才阵痛了
-What? -My God! 什么？ 天哪
I felt one a few minutes ago. 几分钟前就有一次
That definitely was one. 这次绝对错不了
You can't have the baby here. 你不能在这里生
I haven't sterilized the apartment since the guys moved out! 男生搬走之后我还没消毒
It's okay. I'll boil some water and rip up some sheets. 没事，别怕，我来烧水撕床单
It's probably false labor. 别紧张，可能是假性阵痛
That can happen near the end. Just get the book. 接近预产期会这样，去拿书来
-Get the book! -The book! 瑞秋，拿书来 书，好
-The Bible? -I don't know! 圣经？ 我哪知啊
All right. This is great. 好，很好
You get behind the desk. 钱德，你站到桌子后面
When she comes in, she won't recognize you because 但愿她一进来不会认得你 因为…
Well,why would she? 她怎么会认得你
And then you buzz Ross and l. 然后你对罗斯和我打暗号
You be Mr. Gonzales, and I'll be Mr. Wong. 你是冈萨勒斯先生 我是王先生
Diverse. 民族大镕炉
Anybody call for security? 有人叫警卫吗？
You be cool. 冷静
Which one is Gunther Central Perk? 好，哪位是阿甘中央咖啡馆？
Joey. 乔伊
Where's my ring? My dead grandmother's wedding ring. 我的戒指呢？ 我过世的奶奶的结婚戒指呢？
Way to be cool,man. 你还真冷静
What? 你在说什么？
There was a ring in a box. After you left,it was gone. 床头柜的丝绒盒里有只戒指 你一走它就不见了
You think I stole some ring? 你们觉得我偷了戒指？
We know you took it! Just save yourself the time and confess. 一定是你偷的 少废话，从实招来
Who are you,the Hardy Boys? 你们是少年侦探团吗？
I don't need to steal a stupid ring. I make $1,600 a week. 我不必偷什么戒指 我1星期赚1600
Any of you guys make that? 你们有人赚那么多吗？
Marry me. 嫁给我
I don't get it. It was in my room all night. She didn't take it. 我不懂，戒指整晚都在我房里
I didn't take it. You didn't take it. Then who did? 她没拿，我没拿，你没拿 那是谁拿的？
We're trying to think. 安静，我们在想事情
I don't get how you know it's false labor. 你怎么会知道是假痛？
Do you see any babies? 你有看到宝宝吗？
-How do you feel? -Okay,I guess. 你感觉如何？ 还好吧
I don't know. 我不知道
I know it's going to be over soon so.... 大概是知道快要结束了
But isn't that a good thing? 那不是很好吗？
-You said you were sick of this. -I know. 你说你受够了 我知道
Usually,when you're done with the pregnant thing... 只是通常怀孕完之后
...you get to do the mom thing. 就是当妈妈
But I'll be sitting around in my leather pants,drinking tequila. 我却会穿着皮裤喝龙舌兰
Some moms do that. 有些妈妈也会那样
That's even sadder. 那样更悲惨
Look,I know what I got myself into. 我知道这么做的后果
It's just that now that they're in me... 但他们现在在我肚子里
...it's like I know them and.... 我仿佛了解他们
It just won't be easy when these babies have to go away. 把他们送走时我会很难受
I know,sweetie. 我知道
But it's not like you won't have anything. 但你并不会一无所有
You'll have nieces and nephews. That's even better. 你会有姪子姪女 那样甚至更棒
-Yeah,okay. -No,really. 少来 不，是真的
You won't be the one worrying about saving for college. 你不必担心他们的大学学费
Or yelling at them when they're bad. 或在他们不乖时骂他们
Or putting them on Ritalin when they just won't calm down. 或在他们吵个不停时 喂他们吃立得宁
You'll be the one they run away to. The one they talk to about sex. 他们逃家会来找你 会找你讨论性的问题
You just get to be cool Aunt Phoebe. 你可以当酷阿姨菲比
Cool Aunt Phoebe. 酷阿姨菲比
I am pretty cool. 我是蛮酷的
And you know what else? Are they going to love you! 还有，他们一定会爱死你
They are going to love me. 他们会爱死我
Thanks,you guys. Again. 谢谢你们…再次感谢
Oh,sweetie. 谢什么
Thanks. 谢谢
What? 怎么了？
Just kidding. 开玩笑的
Oh,my God! 怎么了？ 天哪
Got you again. You're so easy! 又骗到了，你们真好骗
If anything happens to him 要是它有事…
The vet said it's a simple procedure. 乔伊，兽医说手术很简单
Things can go wrong. What if he doesn't make it? 所以呢？搞不好会出错 要是它没撑过来呢？
-He will,Joe. -But what if he doesn't? 它会的 要是没有呢？
He's such a good duck. 它这么乖巧
I'm so worried about him! 我好担心它
Somebody lose a ring? 有人掉了戒指吗？
Oh,my God! Thank you! Thank you so much! 天哪！谢谢你，谢谢
How's the duck? 鸭子怎么样？
Just fine. You'll see him in a bit. 它很好，正在休息 你们可以去见它
Great. 太好了
-Thanks for being so cool. -No,that's all right. 罗斯，谢谢你这么好脾气 没关系 当然有关系
You made me your best man and I totally let you down. 你找我当伴郞，我却让你失望
-It's not your fault. -Yeah,it is. 又不是你的错 当然是
You wouldn't have lost it. 你就不会弄丢戒指
Ross,you were right. He should be your best man. 你知道吗？罗斯，你是对的 他才应该当你的伴郞
-No,you should. -Don't argue. 不，应该你当 别吵了
I get to choose my best man. 伴郞是我选的
I want both you guys. 你们两个我都要
Really? 真的？
Both you guys should be up there with me. 你们都应该陪我站在神父面前
You two are my 你们是我的…
I'm lucky to have just one good 有一个好朋友就…
Thanks,man. 谢了
I got to go check something,okay? 我去那边看看
-What a baby! -Total wuss. 真孩子气 有够爱哭的
-How come you're getting Nana's ring? -Mom gave it to me. 为什么奶奶的戒指是给你？ 是妈给我的
She said something about it being a wedding ring and that you may not need... 她说有个婚戒比较大 你又可能...
...one. ...用不上
I really didn't need to tell you all that. 我实在不必说这些
I don't really think it's fair. I mean,I've always loved that ring. 我觉得不公平 我一直很喜欢那个戒指
Oh,Mon,I'm sorry. 对不起
I'd let you have it, but Emily's gotten really attached to it. 我原本会让给你 但艾蜜莉对它爱不释手
Thanks. 好吧 谢谢
-Here you go. -Thanks. 拿去 谢谢
Emily,did you know that that ring spent two days in a duck's colon? 你知道那个戒指 在鸭子肚子里摆了2天吗？