嗨，先生
要这个
四元
谢谢
而且这一赔偿条款
明确表明不会存在禁令救济
我们的客户获得经济补偿的机会
可谓极其渺茫
我明天来解决
因为我觉得那晚上事情有些不对劲
就被指责吗？
完全没想到在春天会停电
而且事先也没有过风暴
当你度过漫长的一天，非常疲惫
你走在回家的路上
你觉得所有的一切都被割裂了
仿佛垂死的文明划出的缓慢轨迹
至少这是我所意识到的
“在郊区时，我们生活在自然的怀抱”
这时当我和戴安娜第一次
来到这个地方看房时
我们的房产经纪人说的话
哦，糟糕
你确实能看到小鹿，兔子和乌鸦
但我们并没有生活在自然的怀抱中
这就是郊区的含义
你离群索居
免受野生动物的烦扰
天呐
去吧，离开这里！
走啊
滚出去！
该死
天呐
天呐，该死！
该死
好吧
哈！哈！出去！
我与我的妻子发生了争吵
我们做出了性嫉妒的
惯常举动
不管怎么说
或者是由我引发的
而她是我的共犯
在15年的婚姻生活过后
嫉妒是可靠的兴奋剂
坦白来说
当你的配偶有了嫉妒心理 这是一种奉承
血液流动着，心脏怦怦跳动
我们争吵后
激烈地上床
或者像是戴安娜煽动性的说法
我们做爱了
这非常有用
你整个下午都跟那家伙调情
除非你不是故意的
很显然，我没有在勾引他
是的，显然
戴安娜，小孩子都能看出来
发生了什么
有谁看到了呢？
我们只不过在谈话
我目睹了全过程，戴安娜
你完全是在向他发出邀请
只是你古怪的想象，维克菲尔德
你会搭讪任何一个看你一眼的女人
而我只不过是
不，不，不，你的言论有着性暗示
我是在说笑话
哦，笑话吗？啊！
除了你以外，所有人都笑了
看着我的妻子勾引一个穿着 开领短袖衬衫的男人
我没觉得有什么好笑
我只是在回答他说的话
如果你非得弄清楚 只不过是些蠢事
天啊！
我已经无比的厌烦 你持续不断的监视
-你 -哇，哇，哇
不，你限制我
不得与其他父母谈话
我已经很少跟人联系了
-你与他在联系 -而你看不见的呢？
我是说，你认为 在我们有这种关系的情况下
我还会跟其他人纠缠不清吗？
我想要的
只是消磨时光
这是我想要的，挨过这一天
不可思议
为什么要去那里？
再一次忍受我妻子的常态
很快，他们都会睡着
哦
哦，糟糕
啊！
天呐！
哦！
说实话，我为自己所创造的困境
感到十分迷惑
戴安娜也许认为我与其他人在一起
倒不是在15年的婚姻中
我曾给过她怀疑我的理由
哦，我的天
It would be the weakest of tactics
for me to walk into my house
and try to explain to her
the perfectly rational sequence
that led me to spend the night in the garage.
You know, another woman might have
saved my supper plate in the refrigerator.
But I lived in Diana's judgment.
It shone on me as in a prison cell
where the light is never turned off.
The immediate solution?
Postpone my entrance 'til my wife had gone off to work.
嗯
Rush, rush, rush.
The bus is here, girls.
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
They forgot their lunches.
Girls, girls, lunch.
They're gonna be late again.
Bye-bye, girls. Have a good day.
Okay, love you.
Oh, yeah.
The first call would be to my office.
No, he hasn't come in.
No.
Yesterday evening.
Well, no, he didn't say anything.
Mm-hmm. Well, he left around the usual time.
Oh, yes, of course, I will.
Bye-bye.
Oh, where are you going now?
Surprise, car's still there.
The plot thickens.
After a few calls to her friends
wouldn't it seem reasonable to expect
that the assistant curator of the county museum
would depart for work?
I realize this is a common enough complaint.
But there are times when I feel I've spent my life
just waiting for my wife
to get ready to leave the house.
Oh, you got to be fuckin' kidding me.
Oh.
What the hell?
Wait a minute, wait a minute wait a minute.
Ah-ha!
Yeah.
Ah-ha.
Yes, officer.
No checks were missing.
Why, why! Where could he be?
Ah. Oh.
There's the hubs.
No wonder you want him back. He's a stud.
Our town police are well-paid and polite
and not so different from the rest of us
in their distant relationship to actual crime.
Nobody mugged him or anything.
What? What am I, a travel agent?
I guarantee he's at the strip club
right now hangin' around.
Dickhead.
Uh-oh.
Here come the water works.
Shit.
But then god help us.
The widow, babs.
Right on cue.
Christ.
Oh, god.
Do you ever shut up?
No, no, no, no. Don't cry, don't cry.
No. He's not worth it.
There you go.
I have big broad shoulders, darling.
And if you need to cry, you just lay your head right here.
Broad shoulders.
Like a fuckin' linebacker.
I'll be here for you.
But, darling, now is the time
that you need to protect yourself.
You do.
Financially, I mean.
He could wipe you out.
Oh, no, no, no.
Mommy, the bank accounts are secured.
Look.
Look, look, look.
You see?
If Howard was going to leave me
wouldn't he have cleared out all the accounts?
But he didn't.
Well, just give him time. He will.
You bitch.
Oh, god, I wish I had
a high-powered rifle right now.
One shot.
That woman could be up here for two days.
At this juncture, it seems fair to point out
if your spouse had seemingly vanished
would you go off to work as usual?
Are daily matters so very goddamn urgent
at the local county museum?
Or was that desperate call to the police a tactic
calculated to embarrass me?
Leave it to Mrs. Wakefield
to turn a rather amusing sidestep
into prima facie evidence
of Howard's thoughtless behavior.
I was naive
and condescending to her mother.
I lacked interest in her work.
Or I wasted perfectly beautiful full weekends
watching football games.
And if she was such a feminist
why did my opening a door for her
or helping her on with her coat matter so goddamn much?
Standing there in the clear light of day..
I could see.
Diana felt that she had married the wrong man.
Oh.
I ask you
what is so sacrosanct about a marriage and a family
that you should have to live in it day after day
however unrealized that life may be?
Who hasn't had the impulse to just put their life
on hold for a moment?
I ask you.
Mm.
Oh, my god, that looks good.
What are you two doing laughing?
Assholes.
Unh-unh-unh. Here's the conspiracy.
It's all a little too convenient, don't you think?
Oh, yes, I agree.
I think she's totally guilty.
She murdered him.
Oh.
Oh, no.
Ben Jacobson, attorney at law
just stoppin' by for a little deli.
Hello, Ben.
You're not fooling anybody.
I say, without shame
I'd given not a single thought to anyone at work.
And the documents I carried away with me.
Documents, vital to a very lucrative case
we'd been preparing.
All of that was pretty remote now.
嗯
...I've got my own little deli going here.
哦，我的天
Here I am.
Ta-dah!
Oh, right.
Make her the victim.
Oh, please. They've hardly been abandoned.
People, I'm right here.
Oh, I see.
Here it is.
Making your play, huh, Ben?
Go on, go on, go on. Go, on.
She's hurting.
Give her your hanky, be a gentleman.
我的天
He..
He took out his phone.
What an ass.
A husband doesn't just vanish, Mrs. Wakefield.
Howard Wakefield is on this earth.
Or under it.
And only you, madam, know which it is.
Are you accusing me of making a game of this?
I assure you my frame of mind was quite rational.
May I remind you
I was eating actual garbage to survive?
哦
Come on back.
Come on, honey, come back, come back.
Come back, come back, come back.
There you are.
About my wife's deliberate nudity.
Apparently it's a side effect of her
having once been a modern dancer.
Briefly. I feel compelled to add.
Who exactly are you trying to attract out there?
No one can see me and if they can, I don't care.
Uh, clearly.
Strutting around this house on full display.
Would it kill you to put some clothes on
in front of our girls?
No, I'm not gonna teach our daughters
to have shame about having a body.
What if I started parading naked around them, huh?
What'd you think about that? Hey, look at me!
哇，爸爸光着身子！
Mr. prude-o in the nude-o.
Hey, look at me, I'm going to work naked!
Right, right, right.
天呐
Would you get away from there?
There's no one there, Howard.
Oh.
Seeing my wife in the nude, oddly enough
usually got me thinking about money.
I've only a slender amount of cash with me.
And if it's my intention to vanish completely
using a credit card is out of the question.
I could pre-date a bank check
and cash it somewhere, yes.
But that might signal to Diana
that my disappearance was pre-meditated.
Which, I don't know, seems unnecessarily cool.
It's not difficult to run away.
People ditch their families all the time.
But if this were a simple abandonment of wife
and children, I'd have written Diana a note
taken my car out of the garage
driven to Manhattan, checked into a hotel
and walked to work in the morning.
Easy. Anyone can do that.
But you'd still be the same person.
This is different.
You see..
...i no longer seem to require those things
that only days ago were so indispensable.
The armor of a clean shirt
the smooth shave
credit cards, cellphones
clients.
There will be no more getting on that train.
I'll take nothing more from her.
Nothing from that house.
Ever.
I'll sustain myself like a castaway.
A survivor.
Undetected.
Unshackled.
I'll become the Howard Wakefield
I was meant to be.
Oh, please.
You've imagined doing this yourself. I know you have.
But what about the twins you ask?
No regrets there.
In their current phase
our girls generally think of me
as some kind of unfortunate oddity
who embarrasses them in front of their friends.
Believe me
I'm seeing more of these two now
than I have in months, if not years.
And I'm sure it's not lost on you.
Though I might have left my wife
I'll still be able to keep an eye on her.
Ah.
There we go.
Did I ever miss the conveniences of home?
Oh!
Yeah.
No TV..
...no problem.
Our neighbor, Dr. sondervan, is a known authority
on down syndrome and other developmental disorders.
When he began to board some patients
a few months at a time, I stood up for sondervan
when our neighbors petitioned against him.
Shit!
God.
My spirited defense of Dr. sondervan
and his young charges for once gave me
the moral high ground with Diana
who naturally took the opposing view.
Howard, really?
Do we have any idea what goes on behind those gates?
And the apparent answer to your wife is
not too goddam much.
Morning's a little social interaction.
Evenings conclude with a hot shower.
And who can argue with that?
There you are.
Oh. That's so easy, isn't it?
In every marriage, there's a division of labor.
Mine and yours.
By Diana's artful calibration
her tasks occur only inside the house.
Children, cleaning, provisioning.
Oh, which means shopping.
Lots of shopping.
But anything external, the roof
the gutters, the chimney, trash
you know, servicing the cars, that's all left to me.
Her duties end at the door.
And of course, any labor accomplished outside the house
is invisible to my wife.
Paying the bills, invisible.
Property taxes, life insurance
home insurance and of course, our mortgage.
All faithfully and invisibly
taken care of by one Howard Wakefield.
Now quite possibly deceased.
Celebration.
One, two, three, four, five.
Party?
P-a-r-t-y.
Yeah.
Tsk. Monday.
Who the hell is this?
Oh, my god. Ben Jacobs.
Oh, yes, yes, yes, uh-huh.
You dog.
Coffee? Cookies? Come on in.
Oh, he's gonna need some whitener
for his coffee, Diana.
Uh, excuse me, you don't have any soy milk, do you?
Of course, she's got soy milk.
She's got everything.
Please, Ben, please tell her
about your tragic lactose intolerance.
All the bloating and flatulence.
Ah-ha!
Little pro-bono work on behalf of the firm.
How nice of you.
I'm impressed.
You know, I never used to sing.
I think that's worth noting.
If I sign this..
...it's declaring my husband absentee.
What if I don't sign?
Would it make him any less absent?
You've got to be kidding me.
Right away with the..
Come on, honey.
Show him the door. Show it.
Yes, yes.
Oh, Ben, you're such a douche.
She is totally out of your league.
Attagirl!
That's for you, dickhead.
Yeah.
Absentee or no, it's a victory, I guess
to know I've still got possession of my wife.
这提醒了我，我相信你已经意识到
戴安娜是个舞者
在我们相遇的时候，当然
戴安娜对舞台的一时兴起
已经被偶尔的
夜间酒吧课程取代了