×ÖÄ» This is a great idea.
×ÖÄ» It's been ages since we got drunk before lunch.
×ÖÄ» -How about The Bull? -Uh, no, somewhere further away.
×ÖÄ» - What's on the agenda? -I just need a drink first.
×ÖÄ» -Did Abigail get back to you? -No, nothing. This is really weird.
×ÖÄ» I think maybe she slipped out during Angus' big announcement.
×ÖÄ» Without telling me?
×ÖÄ» Uh, she's not picking up. I'm starting to...
×ÖÄ» Uh, guys, can we just go via her flat?
×ÖÄ» -It's a ten-minute detour. - Is everything all right?
×ÖÄ» I don't know. Last I knew, everything was fine.
×ÖÄ» Did you guys... Did you see anything?
×ÖÄ» -Well... -What kind of a well was that?
×ÖÄ» -I don't really know what I saw. -What did you see?
×ÖÄ» Well, it was a... It was a look.
×ÖÄ» A notable look?
×ÖÄ» Obviously a notable look, Dylan, or I wouldn't have noticed it.
×ÖÄ» But not so notable that I would have brought it up before now.
×ÖÄ» I would say it was at the low end of notable.
×ÖÄ» What did you see?
×ÖÄ» Well, I arrived at the party...
×ÖÄ» and I was... I was feeling good,
×ÖÄ» you know, it was late in the day...
×ÖÄ» There was a nice vibe to the place. Lots of familiar faces.
×ÖÄ» And for a party celebrating a divorce,
×ÖÄ» I gotta tell you, I thought it had an upbeat atmosphere.
×ÖÄ» Some pretty girls, good drinks.
×ÖÄ» I knew I looked good in my top.
×ÖÄ» You know, it just... it just...
×ÖÄ» It felt really right around my shoulders.
×ÖÄ» You know how that feels? When a top just sort of holds you?
×ÖÄ» Okay, I really don't need to know how snug your shirt was.
×ÖÄ» Will you please just get on with the story? Please.
×ÖÄ» -Oh! There he is. -Oh.
×ÖÄ» Angus. Man of the hour. All right.
×ÖÄ» Here is the official proof that I destroyed my marriage.
×ÖÄ» On account of my infidelity.
×ÖÄ» Congratulations. I think you'll be very happy, mate.
×ÖÄ» -What, you don't think I'm damaged goods?
×ÖÄ» -Oh, no, you are. We all are.
×ÖÄ» I wonder if I look back on today,
×ÖÄ» if it's the moment that my life got better or much worse.
×ÖÄ» I wish I knew which way it was
×ÖÄ» gonna go and then I'd know how to feel about it.
×ÖÄ» Me and Evie got this for you.
×ÖÄ» -Oh. - Don't smoke it all at once.
×ÖÄ» It's a party. Maybe I'll meet someone.
×ÖÄ» - -Oh!
×ÖÄ» -First ever divorce party. -Oh, yeah, mine too.
×ÖÄ» Oh, yes.
×ÖÄ» Huh.
×ÖÄ» You certainly seem to be the center of attention.
×ÖÄ» -How long... -
×ÖÄ» Did you invite Jane?
×ÖÄ» -Yeah. -Dude, why?
×ÖÄ» It's Jane. Everyone loves Jane.
×ÖÄ» And she was on the groom's side of the aisle at the wedding.
×ÖÄ» The wedding where she dumped Dylan?
×ÖÄ» Yeah. Ah, but if she hadn't done that,
×ÖÄ» Dylan wouldn't have met Abigail,
×ÖÄ» and Abigail makes Dylan happy.
×ÖÄ» -Have you met Abigail yet? -No.
×ÖÄ» You know, she's coming tonight.
×ÖÄ» Oh, well, um, I'm... looking forward to meeting her.
×ÖÄ» -Angus... -Mmm.
×ÖÄ» who's the girl in the pink dress?
×ÖÄ» Oh, that's Nicole. I work with her.
×ÖÄ» Uh-huh.
×ÖÄ» Is this gonna end up as a story about how you slept with Nicole?
×ÖÄ» No, au contraire,
×ÖÄ» I spent most of the evening trying not to sleep with her.
×ÖÄ» I'm trying to ignore my instincts. It's, uh, my new thing.
×ÖÄ» Can you just get to the bit
×ÖÄ» where you saw Abigail's notable look thing?
×ÖÄ» Yeah, okay, fine.
×ÖÄ» Basically it was... it was a look with a kind of...
×ÖÄ» searching sadness and regret.
×ÖÄ» We'd just got back from... Well, never mind that. Anyway...
×ÖÄ» the actual look was much later on.
×ÖÄ» Everybody, um, I've got an announcement to make!
×ÖÄ» So, um, I thought I'd say a few words, uh, this evening,
×ÖÄ» um, but I didn't think they'd be these words.
×ÖÄ» So she was looking at you?
×ÖÄ» Why... why would she be looking at you?
×ÖÄ» I don't know. I didn't even notice her looking at me.
×ÖÄ» Dude, she was gazing at you.
×ÖÄ» -Why would she be gazing at you, Evie? -I don't know!
×ÖÄ» We had, like, the most normal conversation.
×ÖÄ» "Pleased to meet you..." Dah di dah...
×ÖÄ» -Oh, Dylan's here! -Hey!
×ÖÄ» How you doing? Hey, Mal.
×ÖÄ» -How are you? -Good to see you.
×ÖÄ» Hey.
×ÖÄ» -Abigail. Hi. - I'm Mal.
×ÖÄ» -Great to see you. - Hey. There he is.
×ÖÄ» Hi, I'm Evie. Good to meet you.
×ÖÄ» Abigail.
×ÖÄ» Right.
×ÖÄ» Uh, drinks?
×ÖÄ» -I'll go. -I'll help.
×ÖÄ» Great. That's it.
×ÖÄ» We bought some drinks. We brought them back to you.
×ÖÄ» Technically, it's your round now.
×ÖÄ» -Anything else? -No!
×ÖÄ» I mean, we realized
×ÖÄ» we'd bumped into each other at Angus' wedding hotel.
×ÖÄ» So, that was interesting. But nothing weird.
×ÖÄ» That's all.
×ÖÄ» -So I'm guessing Dylan is the friend-- -Was!
×ÖÄ» Was, that's like...
×ÖÄ» I'm... I'm engaged now to Mal.
×ÖÄ» I don't know why I didn't just say we'd met before. I...
×ÖÄ» -Um, did you and that chef-- -Yeah, no, never again.
×ÖÄ» Okay.
×ÖÄ» After that night, everyone thought I was a lesbian,
×ÖÄ» which probably made my life easier overall.
×ÖÄ» -They do say that about lesbianism. -
×ÖÄ» I did not expect you to be Evie.
×ÖÄ» Ditto.
×ÖÄ» I'm guessing you never did say anything to him.
×ÖÄ» Ah, it sort of never came up.
×ÖÄ» And then things moved on and...
×ÖÄ» you know, Mal... Mal's great.
×ÖÄ» You know, I'm really, really happy and... Dylan is all yours.
×ÖÄ» I didn't mean it like that.
×ÖÄ» No, I know, I know, I know. But he is.
×ÖÄ» It's... it's all good.
×ÖÄ» I'm glad it worked out for you.
×ÖÄ» Okay, sorry to get all Hercule Poirot on your ass,
×ÖÄ» but I saw you guys talking and
×ÖÄ» it wasn't just pleasant chit chat over drinks.
×ÖÄ» Yes, it was.
×ÖÄ» Can we find the nearest pub? I really need that drink now.
×ÖÄ» I detected a certain intensity, Evie.
×ÖÄ» Okay, I wasn't gonna dob you in, Poirot,
×ÖÄ» but if anyone is to blame for upsetting Abigail last night,
×ÖÄ» -it's definitely you, mate. -What's this?
×ÖÄ» -I don't think-- - Yeah, we do.
×ÖÄ» -I didn't-- -Whatever you did, you did.
×ÖÄ» Luke, what did you do?
×ÖÄ» He grabbed her arm and pulled her back to talk!
×ÖÄ» In a friendly way. It wasn't a grab,
×ÖÄ» it was a request with my hands.
×ÖÄ» Luke!
×ÖÄ» I may have glossed over a couple details.
×ÖÄ» But what matters is, Abigail and I parted on good terms.
×ÖÄ» -Just tell me the truth. - I don't want to do that.
×ÖÄ» -The truth makes me feel real feelings.
×ÖÄ» -I need to know what happened.
×ÖÄ» Right, all right, all right.
×ÖÄ» Abigail and I had a difficult
×ÖÄ» conversation at one point in the evening, agreed.
×ÖÄ» Granted, Evie, okay? But it
×ÖÄ» had nothing to do with Dylan, so it's irrelevant.
×ÖÄ» -I'd like to be the judge of that. -Look...
×ÖÄ» But there's... There's a context to what happened, Dylan,
×ÖÄ» and the context itself was important.
×ÖÄ» So, let's hear the context.
×ÖÄ» I've been... I've been seeing a therapist.
×ÖÄ» You've been dating a therapist?
×ÖÄ» Not dating. Seeing as in...
×ÖÄ» paid appointments to talk about my emotions and so forth.
×ÖÄ» I think I have issues with love and sex and relationships.
×ÖÄ» You're in therapy?
×ÖÄ» You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to.
×ÖÄ» No, no. No, no, it's fine.
×ÖÄ» I love you guys. I just...
×ÖÄ» I've been trying to... break some old habits
×ÖÄ» and this girl Nicole is making things very,
×ÖÄ» very difficult for me.
×ÖÄ» Cleo, I need help.
×ÖÄ» -I'm being tempted. I need a strategy. - What's going on?
×ÖÄ» -Oh, Dylan's here! -Hey...
×ÖÄ» I'm being tempted by hollow, hedonistic sex.
×ÖÄ» I just... I don't know whether or not that's a good thing.
×ÖÄ» Luke, I'm in the middle of something. Is it urgent?
×ÖÄ» There's a girl I want to have sex with.
×ÖÄ» First time in ages, so that's good.
×ÖÄ» But I'm not sure I want to be that guy anymore.
×ÖÄ» You don't have to sleep with someone straight away.
×ÖÄ» Yes! Good.
×ÖÄ» Go slow.
×ÖÄ» How do I do that?
×ÖÄ» I don't know. Try being mindful?
×ÖÄ» Fuck, mindful? You haven't seen this girl. She's a hall-of-famer.
×ÖÄ» Okay, so prove to yourself you can get through the night
×ÖÄ» without sleeping with her.
×ÖÄ» Sleep with her next week.
×ÖÄ» I am gonna find that very fucking difficult, Cleo.
×ÖÄ» What might make it easier?
×ÖÄ» Dude, where is this going?
×ÖÄ» How do you stop a guy from wanting a cigarette?
×ÖÄ» Nicotine patch?
×ÖÄ» Give him a cigarette. That's how you stop him wanting one.
×ÖÄ» Well I... gave myself a cigarette.
×ÖÄ» Oh, my God. That is where this is going.
×ÖÄ» -I don't follow. -Tell me you're joking!
×ÖÄ» It was a medical procedure to avert a major psychological crisis.
×ÖÄ» That is not where your consciousness is located.
×ÖÄ» -Is it not? -You knocked one out at Angus's party?
×ÖÄ» To take the edge off my lust for Nicole.
×ÖÄ» I took no pleasure in it,
×ÖÄ» other than the obvious pleasure I took in it.
×ÖÄ» Why... why does this involve Abigail?
×ÖÄ» Well, you see, I kept running into this girl
×ÖÄ» and she's honestly smoking hot.
×ÖÄ» So... well... then...
×ÖÄ» Hey!
×ÖÄ» Hi.
×ÖÄ» -Hi. -Angus talks about you a lot at work.
×ÖÄ» He's really pinning his hopes on you.
×ÖÄ» -Hopes? -Yeah.
×ÖÄ» Hopes for what?
×ÖÄ» Getting laid.
×ÖÄ» He says it's your forte.
×ÖÄ» What? What?
×ÖÄ» I wouldn't say it's a forte,
×ÖÄ» per se. It's more of a knack, really.
×ÖÄ» Well, I think if you have a talent, you ought to share it.
×ÖÄ» You know, actually my biggest talent is for origami.
×ÖÄ» Would you like me to make you a paper swan?
×ÖÄ» Okay.
×ÖÄ» Okay, I'll make you a paper swan, cheers.
×ÖÄ» Nicole was woof and impossibly hot.
×ÖÄ» -What is wrong with you? -No, what is right with me.
×ÖÄ» This was me trying to be a better man.
×ÖÄ» Look, I didn't plan for any of this.
×ÖÄ» But the toilet was busy, and I was desperate.
×ÖÄ» This particular spot was officially out of bounds.
×ÖÄ» And I genuinely thought I'd be over and done with in two minutes.
×ÖÄ» Nobody would have ever had to know.
×ÖÄ» So you're saying your therapist told you to do this?
×ÖÄ» Effectively, yes.
×ÖÄ» Not in so many words, but I read between the lines.
×ÖÄ» Come on, you fucker.
×ÖÄ» Yeah, come on.
×ÖÄ» It's not what it looks like.
×ÖÄ» What is it then?
×ÖÄ» -I don't know. -Oh, dear God.
×ÖÄ» -Do you want to talk about this? -Look, please...
×ÖÄ» This will need to be talked about!
×ÖÄ» I know it looked bad,
×ÖÄ» but she did keep saying she wasn't upset about me,
×ÖÄ» and it was about something else.
×ÖÄ» I don't understand why she
×ÖÄ» wouldn't pick up the phone to Dylan because of me.
×ÖÄ» She was holding a cigarette?
×ÖÄ» Yeah.
×ÖÄ» Abigail doesn't smoke. Why was she smoking?
×ÖÄ» I don't know.
×ÖÄ» But if she came out for a smoke because she was upset,
×ÖÄ» then her being upset predates her catching me au naturel.
×ÖÄ» There's nothing natural about what you were doing.
×ÖÄ» My point is that I'm off the hook.
×ÖÄ» Yeah, good job, Luke. You really come out of this looking good.
×ÖÄ» I've never seen her smoke.
×ÖÄ» Look, dude...
×ÖÄ» it wasn't Evie and it wasn't me.
×ÖÄ» She's not returning your calls. Maybe you upset her.
×ÖÄ» I barely saw her all night. We had, like, one conversation.
×ÖÄ» You all right? You having a good time?
×ÖÄ» -Yeah. -What?
×ÖÄ» -Can I ask you a question? -Absolutely. Anything.
×ÖÄ» Did you and Evie sleep together?
×ÖÄ» Yeah.
×ÖÄ» Yeah we did, um, but it was a long time ago.
×ÖÄ» -And then never again? -No.
×ÖÄ» We're just friends
×ÖÄ» and we've been just friends for a very long time.
×ÖÄ» Did she have to get tested 'cause of that friendship?
×ÖÄ» No, it was like... seven years ago.
×ÖÄ» It was before chlamydia was even invented.
×ÖÄ» I've met Evie before.
×ÖÄ» When you were looking for a wedding venue for Angus.
×ÖÄ» -I was on the bar that night. -Were you?
×ÖÄ» I don't think we met,
×ÖÄ» 'cause I'd have remembered you.
×ÖÄ» I really liked her.
×ÖÄ» Anyway, green-eyed paranoia. It's over and done with.
×ÖÄ» -I'm sorry for prying. -Oh, it's okay.
×ÖÄ» You can ask me anything.
×ÖÄ» I still don't get why she was smoking.
×ÖÄ» Hey, why don't you ask Angus? He was with her.
×ÖÄ» Okay, I really want to see her now. I'm getting worried.
×ÖÄ» - Dyl. -Angus, I need you to listen carefully.
×ÖÄ» Last night you were with Abigail when you both saw Luke.
×ÖÄ» Oh, yeah, that's an image that will stay in my head forever.
×ÖÄ» Yeah. Angus, were you with
×ÖÄ» Abigail before you went outside to smoke?
×ÖÄ» -Yeah, she seemed quite upset. -Tell me everything you know.
×ÖÄ» Well, I'd had a bit of a difficult night.
×ÖÄ» It's cool that you're throwing a party to celebrate the divorce.
×ÖÄ» Oh, well, that's me all over. Fun-loving and now single as well.
×ÖÄ» -Uh, why did you get divorced? -Oh, I slept with a stripper.
×ÖÄ» -Oh! -
×ÖÄ» Yes, I already tried that. And no, it didn't work. So, what now?
×ÖÄ» -I don't know! You're the therapist!
×ÖÄ» -So, can I get you that drink?
×ÖÄ» Um, I'm just gonna go see my friend.
×ÖÄ» - Yeah. -See you later?
×ÖÄ» Eventually I just thought, "No, Angus,
×ÖÄ» give up on love and enjoy the company of some wonderful people."
×ÖÄ» So, I went to speak to Jane.
×ÖÄ» Jane!
×ÖÄ» Hey!
×ÖÄ» Oh, Abigail, this is Jane.
×ÖÄ» She was Dylan's date at mine and Helen's wedding.
×ÖÄ» Sadly, it wasn't meant to be.
×ÖÄ» But on the upside, it was meant to be with Angus's best man.
×ÖÄ» - -How is he?
×ÖÄ» Actually, I was working there that night.
×ÖÄ» Dylan let you have the room, didn't he?
×ÖÄ» Yeah, he's a gentleman like that.
×ÖÄ» Oh, God, you weren't there
×ÖÄ» the night we set off the fire alarm, were you?
×ÖÄ» Me and Dylan were just talking about how I met Evie that night.
×ÖÄ» Oh, well, here we all are together again.
×ÖÄ» Oh, God, Jane, it's been too long since we saw you.
×ÖÄ» Jane, Jane, good old Jane.
×ÖÄ» Actually, I saw Dylan and Evie quite recently.
×ÖÄ» -Oh, really? -Mmm.
×ÖÄ» -Saw her at the clinic. -Evie was at the clinic?
×ÖÄ» Pretty sure they had a little wingding after him and me broke up.
×ÖÄ» I mean, it was always on the cards.
×ÖÄ» Because maybe she was just waiting for someone?
×ÖÄ» She was wielding her pot of wee like a tiny little trophy
×ÖÄ» and Dylan was looking very anxious about the whole thing.
×ÖÄ» You don't know what her results were, do you?
×ÖÄ» -No. -Oh, well. It's only chlamydia.
×ÖÄ» It's probably good for you to get it once.
×ÖÄ» You know, like, uh, chicken pox.
×ÖÄ» Has anyone got a cigarette?
×ÖÄ» -Oh, shit. -What is it?
×ÖÄ» I've been waiting to flame up the beast.
×ÖÄ» I think I know why Abigail's upset.
×ÖÄ» And then, the most wonderful thing happened.
×ÖÄ» Holly! You found me!
×ÖÄ» -Or are you here for someone else? -No.
×ÖÄ» I've been looking for you for ages.
×ÖÄ» - -I'm so happy!
×ÖÄ» Me too!
×ÖÄ» God, I'd begun to think you were some wonderful drunk dream.
×ÖÄ» I've thought about you every day for three months.
×ÖÄ» -Aw. -Oh, God, can I get you a drink?
×ÖÄ» Can't. Pregnant.
×ÖÄ» Oh!
×ÖÄ» Well, ah, congratulations.
×ÖÄ» Uh, how far along are you?
×ÖÄ» About three months.
×ÖÄ» Sorry... three months?
×ÖÄ» It's yours!
×ÖÄ» Oh, my God.
×ÖÄ» -Oh... -Yes!
×ÖÄ» -Really? -Yes, yes!
×ÖÄ» -Okay. -Yes.
×ÖÄ» Will you guys wait for me?
×ÖÄ» Of course.
×ÖÄ» Good luck.
×ÖÄ» Where's Mal?
×ÖÄ» -Rugby's on in the back room. -Your touchline awaits.
×ÖÄ» Don't.
×ÖÄ» -How did we get here, Dyl? -What do you mean?
×ÖÄ» Well, how do you feel about Abigail?
×ÖÄ» I mean... really?
×ÖÄ» Being honest?
×ÖÄ» Everybody, um, I've got an announcement to make!
×ÖÄ» So, I thought I'd say a few words this evening,
×ÖÄ» um, but I didn't think they'd be these words.
×ÖÄ» Um, this is Holly.
×ÖÄ» Hi.
×ÖÄ» Um, we met at a strip club.
×ÖÄ» Um, but afterwards they threw me out.
×ÖÄ» Um, I went back in the daytime
×ÖÄ» to find her, but they threatened to break my nose.
×ÖÄ» - -And then, you know, they fired me.
×ÖÄ» And I've been looking for Angus ever since
×ÖÄ» and then he just pops up
×ÖÄ» in a photo on my friend's Instagram page...
×ÖÄ» -Divorce party! -
×ÖÄ» -Um... we're having a baby! -Oh, and we're getting married!
×ÖÄ» - - Yeah!
×ÖÄ» You know, I want what you have.
×ÖÄ» You know, I want to be in love again.
×ÖÄ» Why, what's up?
×ÖÄ» I really did want a drink in my hand before I said anything.
×ÖÄ» - -What's going on?
×ÖÄ» -You all right? -Fine.
×ÖÄ» Only, I was talking to Jane
×ÖÄ» and she mentioned you being at the STI clinic with Dylan,
×ÖÄ» -and I sort of put two and two together. -
×ÖÄ» -I made a mistake. -Oh, so did I.
×ÖÄ» Does he know?
×ÖÄ» -Mal doesn't know. -Oh, I won't say anything.
×ÖÄ» Actually, with me, I don't think I did make a mistake.
×ÖÄ» And I'm not proud of cheating,
×ÖÄ» but I think I made the bigger mistake long ago.
×ÖÄ» Everything after that was just the consequences.
×ÖÄ» -Did you know that at the time? -On some level I think I did.
×ÖÄ» What did it feel like?
×ÖÄ» Uh, look, I tried to kiss you on my wedding day.
×ÖÄ» -I mean, there were warning signs. -Yeah.
×ÖÄ» There was just this...
×ÖÄ» ache for a different life that never went away.
×ÖÄ» And I thought marriage would fix it.
×ÖÄ» Doesn't it?
×ÖÄ» I think, on some level,
×ÖÄ» Helen knew I didn't love her as much as she loved me.
×ÖÄ» And she just became permanently angry with me because of it.
×ÖÄ» Angus, I am so full of doubts.
×ÖÄ» I keep thinking it's just because it's me. But what if it's not?
×ÖÄ» Have you guys seen Abigail? I can't find her anywhere.
×ÖÄ» No.
×ÖÄ» Okay, thanks.
×ÖÄ» My hard-won advice...
×ÖÄ» would be not to ignore those feelings.
×ÖÄ» Yeah.
×ÖÄ» I'm gonna need somewhere to live.
×ÖÄ» I know why you're not
×ÖÄ» answering my calls and why you left without me.
×ÖÄ» Evie and I slept together about a year ago.
×ÖÄ» I lied to you about that.
×ÖÄ» I didn't lie because there's anything going on between us.
×ÖÄ» I lied because... I'm ashamed of it.
×ÖÄ» And because I didn't want you thinking
×ÖÄ» that I'm the kind of person who does things like that.
×ÖÄ» Who shags someone's girlfriend?
×ÖÄ» But that is what you did.
×ÖÄ» I don't mind complicated.
×ÖÄ» I can handle the occasional failure in character...
×ÖÄ» but I do not like being lied to.
×ÖÄ» How was Mal?
×ÖÄ» Bad.
×ÖÄ» Really bad.
×ÖÄ» I just couldn't not say anything.
×ÖÄ» I just would have always had this thought eating away at me.
×ÖÄ» How do you feel?
×ÖÄ» Be honest or I'll kick you out.
×ÖÄ» I love you.
×ÖÄ» And I'm trying not to say that lightly anymore.
×ÖÄ» -How about you? -Annoyed at you.
×ÖÄ» I'm worried.
×ÖÄ» I'm really happy when you say that you love me...
×ÖÄ» because I do love you back.
×ÖÄ» And I'm annoyed about that on top of everything.
×ÖÄ» You don't mess this up.
×ÖÄ» Is any of this about Dylan?
×ÖÄ» Of course it's about Dylan.