Okay. Settle down.
Got your ears open?
This is the story of a sad flute
a laughin' baby and a weepin' sword.
A long, long time ago in a land far, far away,
there lived a warrior...
warrior with empty eyes.
He'd trained his entire life for one purpose.
To be the greatest swordsman in the history of mankind.
He'd just achieved his life's ambition,
but his heart felt emptier than ever.
These two clans had been warrin' for 500 years.
And they vowed to keep on warrin' until one of them
didn't have a single man left above Styx.
And so now, here he was,
peerin' down at this very last of his enemy.
When that little warrior princess giggled,
it did somethin' to him inside.
But this was no time for feelin'.
For when spared that baby's life,
he put his name at the top of his own clan's death list.
With nothin' but the clothes on his back and the baby in his arms,
he decided to pay a visit to an old warrior friend in a faraway land.
Hey, Johnny.
I don't like your stinkin' face.
Easy, Ronald.
The name's Eight-Ball. Like in the game.
Good luck for some, bad luck for others.
How can I assist you, my friend from the mystical East?
Haven't been here since Smiley kicked the bucket.
Was a 3-day wait just to get your shirts pressed.
For a guy who cleaned sheets all day, he sure liked to make a mess
in the after-hours, if you know what I mean.
See you in the morning.
You came to me to be strong.
I have made you the strongest.
She will always be the enemy.
Here it is.
Just rub some on your shoulder.
Smiley's Oriental cure-all. Works like a charm.
Now, honey, I didn't forget about you.
It's alright there. It's okay. Ssh, ssh, ssh.
Sorry about the tap I gave ya. I thought you knew the sword.
Smiley was always yabberin' on about a guy who was gonna roll into town.
But I shoulda figgered. What do you call her?
I do not know.
Oh. She's not yours?
Where's her folks?
Dead.
Best we find you another diaper.
Alright.
Smiley like your uncle or something?
Friend.
Well, if you were his friend, maybe he would like for you
to take over his laundry.
- Do not know how. - So I'll teach ya.
I always done the laundry around here.
That's how I repaid Smiley for teaching me the sword.
Tell you what I'm gonna do.
You stay here, I'll teach you how to tie a diaper properly.
We'll be partners, 60:40. You are the 40.
Alright now, time to get to work.
Dang, you're slower than molasses in January.
You clean that real good, yellow boy.
As clean as Snow White's panties-
If I find the smallest bit of condor crap on my fancy duds...
- Well, we gonna have us-
Didn't I tell you I'd rip 'em off if you don't watch yourself?
Let go, evil midget!
Come on, Eight-Ball, we were just havin' us some fun.
- Really?
Okay... okay... Let go.
- Get outta here!
How 'bout a home-cooked meal for you and your little 'un?
Once that Ferris wheel is finished, it's gonna bring everybody rushin' back,
And then we can take the word "travelling" out of "travelling circus".
Hey, Ron.
Welcome to the Eighth Wonder of the World!
Get down here! The chow bell ringin'!
Bravo, bravo.
Gonna grab some vittles with us?
No thanks. Not hungry.
I-I-I b-baked a cake.
Come on, Ron!
What the hell's up with her?
You, I knew you was trouble the moment you walked into this-
Sounds even better from inside.
You ever seen one of these before?
The sound it's makin'? It's called "opera".
Day my poppa found his first chunk of gold,
he went out and bought this thing.
Listen. Here's my favorite part.
So at the edge of the desert, in a busted town full of broken people,
the warrior began to learn stuff he shoulda learned a long time ago.
No, no! Rough!
Like the joy of gettin' dirty things clean.
Yes!
That's me! Thank you!
I told you to aim at the line, not at the coin!
All right!
He also learned the joy of losing.
You're gonna need blood and bone of about 100 dead buffaloes as fertilizer.
Smiley always tried to get something to grow.
Never, ever lasted too long.
He learned you could be happy workin' with folks.
And findin' the simple peace in some private time
after a hard day's work.
What's takin' you so long?
Come on, Skinny! You gonna miss it. Come on.
And he found that it's nice to have a few friends around
when the sun goes down.
But most of all, the warrior learned there's a heck of a lot more pleasure
makin' things grow than there is in cuttin' 'em down.
You bunch of pups! Gimme back that goddamn bottle!
You win. Show me what you got.
God damn! I shoulda never taught you this game!
You a shark with a poker face.
What happened to her?
Please! Help me!
- Help me! - Lynne!
- Please! Let her go! - Someone, help me!
- Eight-Ball! - Lynne!!
Hungry?
No?
Pretty thing.
Damn you!
No!
No! Lynne! Lynne!
No!!
Only thing was, when we went to bury her,
she was still breathing.
Never known nobody that close to kickin' it.
We didn't know what to do wit' her, if'n she was gonna live or die.
So we just put her in bed and waited.
Two days, and she was eating soup.
By the day three, she was already sitting up somehow
and slinging daggers at the wall.
But God ain't fair.
And some people just ain't cut out for the knife.
Dang it. My arm ain't worth a damn.
It is not your arm.
What'd you say?
Ouch!
Now you sure about this?
'Cause I'm not so good with my eyes open.
Throw.
I can't do it.
Do not talk. Focus.
It is your heart that shakes.
You dead?
Not yet.
Sure you're not fountainin' blood or anything, are ya?
Oh, shit!
I did it!
Thank you, Mr. Sad Flute.
Smiley told me everything.
I just taught you to focus.
Why you do that?
Okay. I've always been dyin' to know.
Why are y'all called The Sad Flutes?
So you got lady Sad Flutes, too?
Sad Flutinas or somethin'?
Yes.
That's nice.
Jumpin' in the moonlight and kissin'
as you both fly under the stars to the tunes of The Sad Flutes-
We are called Sad Flutes because when you cut the throat,
the last sound is like a sad flute.
Dang!
Skinny, sure know how to throw a dead cat into a party room, don't ya?
Why'd you become a Sad Flute?
To be strong.
That it?
My father was working in the field.
I was helping him.
A swordsman came.
Killed my father.
Just to test his sword.
That musta hurt you somethin' bad.
Not hurt. Angry.
Course.
No.
I was angry at my father.
Here. Take it.
It's a present. My momma gave it to me.
She said, "If you hold it over your heart when you're sad,
it takes away all your sadness."
It works.
Kinda.
Present?
Yeah.
That is your only friend here.
Take good care of it.
Yes, master.
Oh, tarnations.
Only to protect, not kill.
What am I gonna kill in this town, an armadillo?
Is that what I think it is?
You've sealed it.
So they cannot hear.
Hear what?
The weeping.
Of all the souls I have taken.
Who's listenin?
My past.
And if it hears?
No more music.
This is a big country. Where do we look?
Do not look.
We listen.
He will show.
Think of the sword as part of the body.
Like a finger. Like a tooth.
Rather think of it like metal slicin' through a herd of buffalo!
Show me what Smiley taught you.
You do not have the power.
Well, thank you very much. I did not know that.
But you are fast.
Just have to be faster.
Ouch!
Ouch! Is this 'cause of yesterday? 'Cause I said I was sorry!
What? Cut it out, Skinny. I'm serious!
You are slower than molasses in January.
Come on, then!
Cut it out, Skinny!
Stop it, Skinny!
Cut it out! I'm serious!
Stop!
You bearded nut!
Merry Christmas, Laundry Man!
Merry Christmas!
Merry Christmas.
Yeah!
We go!
May I have this dance?
Whose birthday?
Well... It's sort of a long story.
Hey, hey, hey, hey!
Hey, ya young punks!
Ya gonna take me for a spin or what?
I win.
No.
Until your enemy's heart stops, you have not won.
Is that so?
Did that stop your heart?
That's better!
Merry Christmas!
I didn't get my invitation.
Has anyone seen it?
No?
Never mind.
We're all here now.
No harm done.
Ho, ho, ho.
And what did Santa bring you, little boy?
Why... if it ain't a clown.
You're looking so sad.
You know, I never found clowns that funny myself.
Don't worry, clown. I'm a pretty good shot.
Especially when I've been drinking.
Hey!
Don't go wastin' good moonshine.
Wow. This shit's smoother'n a calf's ass.
But this- this party's for girls.
Let's all go to the spilloon!
What have we here?
Looks like we got ourselves another clown.
Take this clown for a walk.
Never quite understood the attraction of a circus.
Till now.
Join the others in Stockton. I'll catch you up.
Gentlemen, I have a few old memories I'd like to revisit.
Follow me.
Dang it! He killed my whole family!
God damn it, Baptiste, let me go or I swear I'm gonna-
- I-I-I'm sorry, Lynne. - Lynne.
This ain't just for your protection, you know.
It's for the whole goddamn town.
Let me see!
We have a winner! Gentlemen?
Maria!
He is your, uh... marido?
My apologies.
I am not the kind of man who sleeps with a married woman.
No.
Por favor. Gracias, Senor!
Mommy! No!
Oh!
But their daughters...
Oh, that's a completely different matter.
Clean them up.
You get a bullet in the head for every louse I find.
I once strung a man up by his own hamstrings
because he cooked me a steak well-done.
What?
Find that funny?
Or is it because of this?
Thank you, gentlemen.
This girl says she'll serve herself up to you instead of the spics.
Have we, uh, met before?
No. We haven't.
This is bound to be a night you will never forget.
You have good teeth.
I like that.
Colonel, as you unwrap me,
I'm sure you will find there's a whole lot more of me to like.
I have no doubt of that.
And though I may be young,
I was hopin' you could teach me a thing or two.
Life's best lessons tend to hurt.
Sharp pain can bring sharp pleasure.
Tell them to get. This ain't the theatre.
Gentlemen, you heard the lady. Make yourselves scarce.
Lynne!
She's not here!
Now I, I might say some things during.
Feel free to answer if you like.
Nothing is too wrong.
I've been waitin' my whole life for a place
where it's right to be wrong.
You know, I don't think any part of the body is dirty or bad.
Just as long as it's well-scrubbed
Yes.
Assemble.
Now.
Now where do you plan to begin the inspection?
I like where the skin creases...
Go on.
Between your nice... big...
Moment I smelt your neck...
it all came flooding back.
No girl could ever smell as sweet.
You changed it all. My world.
My face.
You changed my life, little girl.
And now I'm-- I'm going to change yours.
That certainly is a beautiful scar I gave you.
A hard-on for a scar.
Now that is wrong.
Oops.
I forgot.
Nothing tonight is wrong.
Tell the cook to fry up some potatoes
And while we're waiting, I thought I should give you
what I was so generously offering ten years ago.
Enjoy the show.
No! He's mine.
- Lynne... - Are you all right?
Cover me!
Hold on!
Lynne!
Pull it off.
- She got the wrong guy. - That ain't him.
Oh, God help us.
Merry Christmas!
Sweet mother of God, it's a goddamn butcher shop in here!
I must go or you will all be in danger.
We're in danger already.
Colonel's on the loose.
That's right. Lynne here smoked the wrong guy.
Now the Colonel's coming back, and he's bringing the whole damn family.
We need the guy who did that butcher job in the saloon.
Well, I say we all just pack up and leave.
He's right! If you stay and fight, you'll die like rats.
Well, we'll die like rats with rifles.
What rifles?
You got a Chink with a sword and a buncha juggling idiots.
- How dare you?! - That ain't all we got.
Hey!
Beth will understand.
Follow me.
I ruined everything. Didn't I?
You did what you had to do.
You coulda just grabbed April and hit the trail.
But you didn't.
Knowing saving me would ruin every new thing you found here.
This New World, without you...
not so new.
Hey, let's say somehow they all come and go and we're still breathin'.
You're still gonna leave, right?
That is the plan.
Um...
Maybe I could go with you?
Just think about it, alright?
Hey!
That's my primo cactus juice!
I knew what you was from the get-go.
Don't need to look at the size of a man.
I can smell the blood.
It was on you, too.
Yeah.
Good.
Now, get my jacket clean if you can.
If I'm gonna die, I want to look good doing it.
Why die?
'Cause we only got about a hundred sticks of dynamite and a few weapons.
That ain't much more 'n to sting them with.
You also have that.
Done a good job on this garden. Well, for a laundry man.
You do a good shooting.
- For a drunken man.
Why you stopped the shooting?
Well, I just went around robbing banks, hitting trains
till I ran into the only force that can truly bring down any outlaw.
Sheriff?
Woman.
When I was with her, I didn't wanna run.
What happened then?
There was a couple of Rangers who hadn't forgot about me.
They ambushed me.
Bullets flyin' everywhere.
One of 'em found Beth.
Last thing she ever said to me was, "Don't never pick up no gun again".
So far...
Well, at least till today...
I done what she asked.
But for fellas like me and you, we are what we are.
If you truly love somethin' or somebody, Laundry Man...
you get as far away from 'em as possible.
'Cause we're sand.
They're flowers.
These are yours.
These are to kill.
Come.
Closer.
Here.
Remember these places.
Fastest way to kill your enemy.
I will remember.
Company charge!
Oh...
Hey!
What the hell?
Come on!
Get up there! Everybody, up there!
Come on men!
Get him, down there!
Get down.
Shoot them!
Okay, let's get out of here.
Shoot them!
Shit.
Dynamite! Run for your lives!
Take cover!
Shit! We did it!
They hit Jacques!
Come on! Back to town!
Come on.
Let's close this damn circus down! Burn it!
Come on!
Kill.
Run.
Hey, come on! Into the hotel!
Keep low!
Get them!
Here! Take her!
Skinny!
I-I couldn't protect April.
Guard the hallway!
And don't let a damn soul into this room!
What the-
One more step, and she's soup.
I said stop!
That sure is a purty scar I gave you.
I'll see you in Hell, little girl.
Wear something nasty.
Is this the new life you have found?
Funny.
Look much like the old one.
Do you think you will tell her that you kill her mother,
her father and her entire clan?
She is the enemy.
She will always be the enemy.
You came to me to be strong.
I have made you the strongest.
Kill her now.
You do not belong here.
I do.
I did.
You have the perfect body for an assassin
but the heart of a priest.
Your heart will become your biggest enemy.
You must kill your biggest enemy.
We are assassins.
All that we love, we will destroy.
You are assassin.
All that you love, you'll destroy.
Did we win?
We survived.
Some of us.
I'm not goin' with you. Am I?
I guess that's the end of them.
No.
It is just the beginning.
What about the baby? She gonna be safe?
They are listening for this to cry.
Not her.
That's right, Sand Man.
Keep walkin'.
The warrior walked away.
And legend has it, he never stopped walkin',
always making sure to keep as much distance as possible
between himself and the little gal he loved.
How much?
Free.