片名：刺客學妹
我從不認識我的父母 I never knew my parents.
我只認識普萊斯考特 The only thing I ever knew was Prescott.
這是一所由政府管理的機密學校 It was a top-secret government-run school
將小姑娘訓練成殺人機器 that turned little girls into killing machines.
不賴 再來 Not bad. Run it again.
站到最後去 老太太 Back of the line, Grandma.
97 到你了 97, u're up!
趕緊的 Move!
倒數三秒 計時開始 Time trial starts in three, two, one...
哈德曼 普萊斯考特的老大 Hardman, the head of Prescott,
對教育有著獨到的見解 had some unique ideas about education.
重點就是給目標打洞 It's all about putting holes in the subject.
懂我意思了吧? See what I mean?
女士們 準備開戳 Ladies, prepare to spring some leaks.
動手 Engage.
注意弱點 雙眼... It's all about vulnerability. Eyes...
我們或許都是孤兒 Now, we may have all been orphans,
但絕不允許我們成為一家人 but we were never allowed to become a family.
頸動脈 Carotid arteries.
收筆 Pens up!
成為普萊斯考特的一員 就像成為一座孤島 To be a Prescott is to be an island.
只有你孤身一人 It is u and u alone out there.
我們是怎麼說的 女士們 What do we say, ladies?
冷酷無情 No attachments!
冷酷 無情 No... attachments.
是啊 這話我從來都聽不慣 Yeah, that part never sounded right to me.
動手 其他各方面我都很出色 Engage! I was good at everything else.
應該說 是最好的 The best, actually.
儘管我很想交朋友 As much as I wanted to make friends,
在這裡是絕對不可能的事兒 that was just never gonna happen here.
開始 Begin.
別安好心 女士們 Bad intentions, ladies.
別安好心 Bad intentions.
每一拳都要有目的性 Every punch has a purpose.
出擊 閃躲 出擊 閃躲 Strike and move. Strike and move.
行雲流水 Flow.
手肘 膝蓋 Elbows, knees.
反應 React.
重拳 女士們 Hammer fist, ladies.
你們受訓不是要自救的 You're not training to save ur lives.
而是要幹掉別人 You're training to take someone else's.
賤人 Bitch.
我是班裡第一個出外勤的 I was the first one in my class to be activated.
一如往常 84號對此難以接受 As usual, 84 didn't take it well.
莫斯科
做這一行 是需要一定想法的 It takes a certain mindset to do this kind of work.
所以他們從很小就訓練我們 That's why they get to us so ung.
再說 誰會去懷疑一個小孩呢? Plus, who would ever suspect a kid?
這個人就沒有 Not this guy.
我能說什麼呢 他把我們訓練得很好 What can I say? He trained us well.
柏林
當然 我有機會看到外面的世界 Sure, I got to see the world...
但我不禁發現的是 But what I couldn't help notice
有另一個被我錯過的世界 was this whole other world I was missing.
上海
我想了解普通小孩的生活 I wanted to know what normal kids did,
於是開始搜集情報 so I started gathering intel.
"賤女孩"
"飛躍比弗利"
認識下維多利亞-諾克斯 美國移居者變身軍火商 Meet Victoria Knox: American expat turned arms dealer.
如果你是恐怖分子 想殺人 If u're a terrorist and u want to kill some folk,
找她就對了 this is the person u call.
別被她的漂亮臉蛋給騙了 Don't let her good looks fool u.
她的智商有140 She has an I.Q. of 140,
這也是她的殺人武器 and she will use it to kill u.
她上一次露面 是3年前在科西嘉島 She was last seen in corsica three years ago,
直到8小時前她再度現身 until she resurfaced eight hours ago,
有可能再過8小時便會消失 and will probably be gone in eight more,
除非我們抓住她 unless we bring her in.
糾正 Correction:
是除非你抓住她 特工83 Unless u catch her, Agent 83,
並且把她活著帶來 and bring her in, alive.
等下 什麼? 冷靜 Wait, what? Simmer down.
你是B小隊 84 B小隊? You're B-Team, 84. B-team?
這應該是我的任務啊 This should be my mission.
我研究了案卷 I studied the case file.
她就在那兒聞Kesha 錢婆出的新香水 She's over there sniffing Kesha,new fragrance by Kesha.
我讓你冷靜 I said Simmer...
你給我全身心投入 特工83 You need to get ur head in the game, Agent 83,
因為維多利亞-諾克斯會幹掉你 because Victoria Knox will take it off.
只要照章辦事 If we follow the profile,
大家就都會平安歸來 everyone will come home safely.
記住 我們不是 And remember, we're not in...
搞救援的 In the rescue business.
她說的沒錯 What she said.
收拾裝備 Gear up.
我們1小時後出發 We're wheels up in one hour.
車臣
諾克斯是個傳奇 Knox was a legend.
殘忍冷酷 心狠手辣 Ruthless, vindictive...
而且專門對普萊斯考特下手 And she had a thing for taking out prescotts.
有個壞消息 你死定了 Got some bad news: You're dead.
嘿 夥計們 Hey, guys.
有沒有好好招待他們? 單獨關了36小時 u make them comfortable? 36 hours alone in the box.
好 很好很好 Oh, good. Good, good, good.
哥本哈根 Copenhagen?
嗨 躲貓貓 Hi, peek-a-boo.
哥本哈根是我的 Copenhagen's mine.
約翰尼斯堡 記得我嗎? Johannesburg, remember me?
喜歡被搶指著嗎? Like having a gun to ur face?
感覺不錯 是不是? Feels good, doesn't it?
還有你 And u...
終於抓到你了 Finally got u.
抓到你了 才沒有 小孩兒 Gotcha. You got nothing, kid.
你拿著槍想幹什麼啊 What do u plan to do with that?
還在玩老一套的間諜變裝遊戲呢? Still playing dress-up with 007-year-olds?
她人呢? 有人不見了? Where is she? You missing someone?
生我氣啦? You mad at me?
應該說我對你的人生選擇有點失望 Let's just say I'm a little disappointed with ur life choices.
讓她老實坐好 Sit her ass down somewhere.
你叫什麼 83 回話 What's ur name? 83, come back.
83 聽到請回話 83, come in if u hear me.
給我們個信號 任何東西 Give us a visual, anything.
83號 83.
給我信號 快 Sign me, come in.
83 講話 83, come in.
給我們一個信號 Give us a sign u're down there.
這並非我計劃中的結果 I didn't plan for it to turn out like this,
但是現在沒的回頭了 but there was no turning back now.
這是我逃離的機會 This was my chance to escape.
83號 這是你最後的機會 83, this is ur last chance.
長官 看不到 也沒有聲音 Sir, no visual, no audio.
她沒有回應 She's not responding.
記錄 Mark it.
83號 83...
停止活動 Inactive.
我無法相信 I couldn't believe it.
"中學行動"就此開始了 Mission high school was a go.
交換生項目
交換生
尋找家庭
美國 紐頓
這是退出的最後機會了 Last chance to back out.
外國交換生可是你的主意 對 6年前的 Foreign exchange student was ur idea. Yeah,6years ago
嗨 我是梅根 Hi, I'm Megan.
要擁抱嗎 你們家是什麼習慣? Do we hug? WELL, What do u do in ur family?
那邊不一樣 抱一抱很好 It's different there. Hugs are good.
嗨 我是潘妮 他是帕克 Hi, I'm penny.This is Parker.
嘿 帕克 Hey, Parker.
她是麗茲 This is Liz.
當然 Of course.
別 在我看過你的論文之前 別抱我 Ew, no, don't touch me till I've seen ur papers.
伊麗莎白 怎麼了? Elizabeth. What?
拉爾森先生 嘿 天啊 Mr. Larson, hey! Oh, my good...
不 抱歉 真抱歉 不好意思 Oh, no, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. Excuse us.
他...我看過檔案 你們一家的照片 Oh, is he... I saw in the profile, the picture of all of u.
不不不 沒關係 現在只有我們仨 我... No, no, no, it's okay. It's just the three of us. I'M....
我離婚了 I'm divorced.
對不起 沒關係 Oh, sorry. That's fine.
我沒事 我們沒事 I'm fine... we are fine.
其實是更好 明白嗎 u know, even better, actually, u know.
有的人努力適應 Some people make it work.
其他人呢 就跟醫藥代表跑了 Others, u know, they run off with a pharmaceutical rep
把你一生積蓄都花在一條躉船上 and spend ur life savings on a pontoon boat.
不過我們過得很好啦 那...你父母還在一起嗎? But we're good, so... Are ur parents still together?
我父母都去世了 Mine are dead.
我去開車 I'll get the car.
歡迎梅根
我覺得你這樣做很勇敢 Well, I think what u're doing is very brave.
適應一種新文化是很難的 Adjusting to a new culture is hard.
知道還有什麼很難嗎? 忍者訓練 You know what else is hard? Ninja training.
但我照樣練 But I do it anyway.
你胳膊就是這麼傷的? Is that how u hurt ur arm?
不是 從自行車上摔下來了 是忍者訓練 Nope, fell off his bike. It was ninja training.
好 我猜老爸隨時也會開著船回來 是吧 Ok and I guess dad's just gonna pontoon back any day now too
好了 伊麗莎白 咱還是好好吃飯吧 Okay, Elizabeth... Let's not ruin dinner.
我是一名影子戰士 I'm a shadow warrior.
是嗎? 真酷 Yeah? That's cool.
我是一名特工 I'm a secret agent.
如果有任何你想做的 比較特比的事 well, if there's anything that's special that u'd like to do,
你可以列出來 u know, u can just make a list,
我相信麗茲會很願意 很願意幫你的 and I'm sure Lizzy would be thrilled, thrilled to show u.
是不是 親愛的 Isn't that right, sweetheart?
我想坐校車 I would love to take the school bus.
彼特-迪納多在公車上拉屎了 好了 帕克 Peter Dinardo pooped on the bus. Ok, Parker.
怎麼了 不許提屎 What? No poop.
我一眼就能認出屎啊 這是事實 I know a poop when I see one. You can't fight with that.
一 這很噁心 One, that's disgusting.
二 我不坐大巴 Two, I am not riding the bus.
可這是中學生活的經典體驗啊 But it's a quintessential high school experience.
還有接吻病 So is mono.
什麼事接吻病? What is mono?
小孩子因為接吻生的病 就像嘴巴的艾滋 Kids get it from kissing. It's like mouth aids.
你徹底讓我沒胃口了 You seriously just ruined my appetite.
你需要的東西都有了嗎? 是的 在做準備 u have everything u need? Yeah, just prepping.
交通工具還是在0700嗎? Is transpo still at zero seven hundred?
交通工具? transpo?
公車 抱歉 The bus, sorry.
是 不 通常是7點出發的 Oh, yeah, no, it usually rolls by at 7:00.
好 知道了 Okay, got it.
我們真的很歡迎你來 You know, we're really glad u're here.
謝謝 我也開心 Thanks. Me too.
好 Okay.
晚安 Good night.
好 Okay.
普通的16歲小孩 普通的16歲小孩 Normal 16-year-old, normal 16-year-old.
鮮肉啊 Fresh meat.
我的媽 Oh, my god.
天啊 怪胎 Jeez... Freak show!
你想怎樣? What do u want from me?
我想咱們可以一起走 你是嗑浴鹽了嗎? I thought we could walk together. Are u on bath salts?
你就像是得了社交皰疹 還想... It's like u have social herpes and u want to...
吐在我嘴裡 Spit it back in my mouth.
這...也太噁心了 你的妝也是 That's... that's really gross. So is ur makeup.
天啊 你就像是跟蛋頭先生有過一夜情 God,u look like u had a one-night stand with Mr. Potato head.
聽著 我還有9個月 3周零5天 Look, I have nine months, three weeks, and five days
逃離這個青春期後神經病區 until I escape this post-pubescent psych ward,
你不能給我搞砸了 u are not gonna mess this up.
你去 Just...
把臉擦乾淨 Wipe all that off,
換上這個 然後 put these on, and just...
盡量不要跟我講話 好嗎？ Try not to talk to me. Okay?
歡迎 海盜們 Welcome, Vikings.
嘿 各位 拿出點學校精神來 Hey, everyone. Now, let's see some school spirit.
來 跟我一起拼 Come on, spell it with me.
一起來 V-I-K-I Come on, V-I-K-I...
好 Okay.
好 我要自己拼 是吧 Okay. I'm gonna spell it by myself, huh?
好吧 我有好消息 All right, well, I have great news.
我們的校園現在是"無堅果"地帶了 Our campus is now a nut-free zone.
是啊 終於 Yeah, finally!
當然 古奇 沒錯 Absolutely, gooch. That's right.
只要我是校長 As long as I'm principal,
你就再不會看到哪個學生嘴裡有堅果 u will never see another student with nuts in their mouth.
不保證喲 No promises!
是啊 這會是漫長的一年 我明白 Yeah, it's gonna be a long year, I see.
同時我也很激動 因為 第一次 I'm also excited because, for the first time,
紐頓中學參與到 Newton high school is participating
一個全新的外國交換生項目 in a brand-new foreign student exchange program.
你知道我們需要更多元化 You know we need more diversity.
我們只有兩個柬埔寨人 一個墨西哥人 We only have, like, two Cambodians and one Mexican.
你是第一次參加集體大會吧? I take it this is ur first assembly.
是啊 也太棒了吧 Yeah. Isn't this awesome?
通常不是 不過還好 not usually. But okay.
你是樂隊成員嗎? Are u a member of the band?
不 其實我更傾向於工程方面 No, I'm actually more on the engineering side.
我負責燈光控制台和設計 I do the lighting board and design.
瞧啊 哇噢 Oh, look at that, wow.
所以這是你的專長 音頻/視頻宅 我懂 我懂 So that's ur thing, then. A/V geek. I got it, I got it.
我看過"對面惡女看過來" I saw 10 things I hate about u.
沒錯 是啊 就是那樣的 Right, yeah. No, it's just like that.
是啊 我明白 只不過不是90年代 Right, I figured. Only not the '90s.
聽我說 不管外面發生什麼 You know, just, whatever happens out there,
都別往心裡去 好 don't let 'em get to u. Right.
好 請大家跟我一起 All right, well, please join me
歡迎我們的外國交換生 in welcoming our foreign exchange student,
從異國他鄉遠道而來的 all the way from exotic...
不是吧 Oh, come on, man.
加拿大? 真的嗎? Canada? For real?
大家掌聲歡迎梅根-沃什 Please put ur hands together for Megan Walsh.
叫你呢 是啊 是我 That's u. Yeah, that's me.
表現出我們的熱情來 梅根-沃什 Show her some love, Megan Walsh.
來啊 海盜們 歡呼聲呢 Come on, vikings, make some noise.
熱情一點 各位 謝謝 Come on, people. Thank u.
嘿 大家好 我是梅根 Hey, guys, I'm Megan.
來自薩斯喀徹溫的裡賈納 I'm from Regina, Saskatchewan.
我非常激動能夠成為擁有悠久歷史的海盜校友 I'm really psyched to join the long and proud legacy of Viking Alumni.
嘿 你剛說"例假哪"? 對 薩斯喀徹溫 Hey, did u say Regina? Yeah, Saskatchewan.
回"例假哪"去 Go back to Regina!
好了 古奇 加拿大吃屎吧 Okay, gooch. Canada sucks a dick!
你穿的是什麼睡衣啊 你來這兒幹嘛啊 What are ur pajamas all "aboot"? Why are u here?
回家去吧 Go home!
不 不 大家聽我說 No, no, guys... shh, please.
把比伯收回去 把比伯收回去 Take back Bieber... Take back Bieber!
把比伯收回去 別鬧了 好了 Take back Bieber! Stop, stop, stop.
喔 凱什 Oh, cash!
來自加拿大的梅根 各位 Megan from Canada, everyone.
嘿 他們有時很難搞 Hey, they can be a tough crowd.
別擔心 你會很屌的 Don't worry about it; You're gonna be nickel.
謝謝 沒問題 Thanks. Totem pole.
沒問題 Totem pole.
謝謝 哇噢 多麼精彩的出場啊 Thank u. Wow, what an entrance.
真是太精彩了 What an entrance.
好 咱們歡迎iTunes三月下載排行榜上 Ok let's give it up for a little rock group that was number 24
名列24的搖滾組合 on the iTunes download list back in march,
紐頓中學自己的 "表情符"! Newton high's own... Emotacon!
她來了 There she is.
嘿 梅根 嗨 我是米茜 Hey, Megan. Hi, I'm Missy.
我為今天集會上大家的表現感到抱歉 I am so sorry about that behavior at assembly.
小孩子有時是很無情的 Kids can be so cruel.
要跟我們一起嗎 來坐吧 一起坐 Want to join us? Come sit, come sit.
哇噢 好啊 Wow, sure.
謝謝 我... Thanks, I...
彩球 是吧 Pom-poms, huh?
你們是啦啦隊的 對不對? 當然了 You're cheerleaders, aren't u? Oh, absolutely.
我知道你打的什麼算盤 算盤? I know what angle u're running. Angle?
我看過"賤女孩" 兩遍 好吧 Oh, I've seen mean girls, twice. Okay.
你要要請我坐下 讓我卸下防備 u're gonna invite me to sit, then weaken my defenses,
用精心策劃的惡作劇讓我出醜 證明你的社交地位 then embarrass me in some elaborate prank to assert ur social dominance.
什麼? 這招不錯 What? Nice try.
我以為咱們很友好啊 I thought we were nice.
古奇 別再玩紙飛機了 Gooch, enough with the paper airplanes.
歡迎回來 歡迎 Welcome back, welcome back.
第一天很鬱悶 我懂 好了 都坐下 First day blues, I get it. All right, take ur seats.
書放在桌上 打開第一頁 Put ur books on ur tables and open them up to the first page.
不 別鬧了 古奇 Oh, no, no, gooch!
古奇 抱歉 Gooch. Sorry.
你就不能學學凱什嗎? Why can't u be more like cash, huh?
看看? 他把書拿出來了 對嗎? See? He's got his book out, right?
你要坐下嗎? 看看我的乖孩子 You need a seat? Look at my beautiful boy.
來自加拿大的梅根 對嗎 我喜歡這張嘴 Megan from Canada, right? Love that mouth.
A/V宅男? A/V geek?
是啊 我叫羅傑 Yeah, well, it's Roger.
好 我來 肚子餓嗎? All right, here.You hungry?
不會 好 Nope. Okay.
坐吧 謝謝 Sit down. Thanks.
我想應該不需要吧 I-I guess u didn't need that.
是啊 Yeah.
不 Oh, no.
希望他不是"治殺"(Kermit 科米蛙) I hope he didn't "Kermit" suicide.
我聽說這門課很"呱呱" I heard this class is "ribbiting."
我是不會"蹦"下結論的 Well, I wouldn't "leap" to conclusions.
德拉姆先生有時很難搞 Mr. Drumm can be pretty rough.
嘿 新來的 專心聽 Hey! New girl! Focus!
就說吧 Told u so.
好了 Okay, hey, uh...
我知道大家今天都跟朋友一起坐 I know everybody got to sit with their buddies today,
但實驗搭檔是由我來選的 but I'm the one who chooses the lab partners.
所以明天座位表應該就出來了 So tomorrow the seating chart shall be up,
咱們會很開心的 現在都給我走人 and we'll have a wonderful time. Now, get out of here!
沒開玩笑 趕緊滾蛋 I'm not kidding. Get out of here.
走 很高興認識你 Go. It was nice knowing u.
等一下 先生 慢著 Hold on there, mister. Hold on there.
我知道你放學後要幹什麼 I know what u're doing after school.
什麼? 跟我排練 What? You're jammin' with me.
我玩伸縮長號的 You know, I play a little slide trombone.
你知道伸縮長號吧 You know slide trombone.
咱倆一起排練 Yeah. Let's jam.
好啊 咱們一塊練練 Sure. Let's have a sesh.
好啊 行 我欣賞你的勇氣 All right.Cool I like ur spunk.
好的 快走吧 Okay. Get out of here.
喔 加拿大 Oh, Canada...
德拉姆老師
好 我4點來接你 Okay, I'll be here at 4:00 to pick u up.
如果遲到我會短信你的 你照舊 好嗎? I'll text u if I'm running late. You do the same, okay?
好 我要每20分鐘知道你的位置 Yep. I want to know ur 20 every 20.
但不要4:20 But no 4:20.
我認真的 I'm serious.
我在說什麼? 你在說大麻? What am I talking about? You're talking about weed?
你是怎麼知道的 How do u know that?
什麼意思啊你 因為... 你是"豬頭逛大街"嗎 What do u mean? Because... What are u Harold and Kumar?
不 我是青少年 在上中學 所以... No, I'm a teenager, and I go to high school, so...
我不是說我有抽大麻 I mean, I'm not saying that I smoke weed,
但有人抽大麻... 千萬別 那是入門毒品 but people smoke weed... don't.It's a gateway drug.
那是一種入門毒品 It is a gateway drug.
你抽大麻 接下來 猜猜怎麼著 冰毒 You smoke weed, and then, guess what, meth...
等於死亡 Equals death.
快克害人 可卡因要命 Crack is whack. Coke's no joke.
聽出來押韻了嗎 So how it all rhymes like that?
就像一首講毒品死人的詩 It's like a poem about dying from drugs.
嘿 我要走了 好嗎? Hey, I got to go, okay?
還有印度麻藥也很有害 Also,hash is very bad for u,
因為要比大麻更厲害 'cause it's more intense than weed.
很強勁 會讓你發狂 It's, like, really compact, and u'll freak out.
我就徹底瘋過一次 I had a major freak-out.
好了 嘿 你們好 Okay, hey, hello.
沒想到我們倆是一組 是啊 生物是很奇妙的 It's so funny we ended up together. biology's kind of tricky,
你看上去很聰明 and u seem really smart.
是啊 絕對是最佳拍檔 Yeah, it's definitely a good match.
我想你坐在我的位置了 I think u're in my seat.
嗨 凱什 Hi, cash.
你坐她的位置了 嗨 凱什 You're in her seat. Hi, cash.
相信我 我是...6號台的 Trust me. I'M... I'm at station six.
是啊 不 我肯定是我 Yeah, no. I'm pretty sure I'm there.
大家都找到自己的位置了嗎 Did everybody find their seats okay?
起來 加拿大 離開我的位置 Come on, Canada, out of my seat.
每一年 我都會專門選一個人 Every year, I pick a very special someone
擔任我的實驗助手 to be my lab assistant.
猜猜看 今年會是誰呢 點點 點豆花 guess what, who's it gonna be? Eenie, meenie, miney...
凱什 快上來 兄弟 Cash. Come this way, brother.
像搖滾明星一般大搖大擺 Struttin' like a rock star.
你們兩個女人 可以做搭檔 And u two females, u can be partners.
祝你"例假"和開心喲 Have fun with Regina.
冷酷 堅忍的凱什 Cold, hard cash.
站過來 先生 Get over here, Mister.
梅根 嗨 Megan, hi.
我不禁注意到你對凱什有好感 是吧? I couldn't help noticing u're into cash, huh?
我不怪你 如果我不是嚴格的素食者 I don't blame u.If I wasn't such a strict vegan,
我肯定就...撲過去了 I'd be, like, all over that.
誰說不是呢 Tell me about it.
不過很諷刺 So ironic,though,
那些骨肉皮 蕩婦時常對他投懷送抱 all of those groupies and sluts constantly hang all over him.
是啊 都不是他的菜 Yeah, they're not even his type.
他喜歡什麼菜? What is his type?
喜歡打扮的女孩子 像模特那樣? Girls who like dressing up. Like models?
差遠了 Not even close.
吉祥物 Mascots.
我對中學的搜索結果都說他們是很囧的獨行俠 All my high school research suggests that they're awkward loners,
樂隊嫌沒有音樂性 田徑隊嫌不協調 not musical enough for the band, too uncoordinated for track.
我知道聽起來奇怪 但學校精神 這裡是很重視的 I know it sounds weird, but school spirit, it's, like, really big here.
凱什超愛學校精神的 And cash loves school spirit.
是啊 不然"表情符"為什麼每次動員大會都表演? Yeah,why do u think emotacon performs at,like every pep rally?
學校精神 是啊 誰想要做一個 School spirit. Yeah, I mean, who wants to be
在觀眾席衝他尖叫的路人啊 some rando screaming at him from the audience?
我可不願意 但是吉祥物 他們會去後台 I wouldn't. But mascots, they go backstage.
他們去後台 They go backstage.
他就會完全屬於你一個人啊 單打獨鬥 You would have him all to urself. Mano a Mano.
和一個吉祥物面對面 不過 你得趕快啊 Mano a Mascot. But, hey, u should hurry, huh?
你可不想被別人給搶先了 'Cause u don't want somebody else to get that spot.
是啊 肯定的 肯定的 Yeah, like, totem pole. Totem pole.
太好了 謝謝 Great, thanks.
我表現如何 好極了 孩子 How'd I do? Yeah, that's great, kid.
非常有精神 你被錄用了 太好了 A lot of spirit. Job's all urs. Yes.
95 96 97 98 99... 95 96 97 98 99...
一千 1,000
黃色的樹林裡分出兩條路 "Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
可惜我不能同時去涉足 and sorry I could not travel both..."
梅根 Megan.
願意一起嗎? Care to join us?
樹林裡有兩條路 應該是有埋伏 Two paths in the woods. Probably an ambush.
我會等到傍晚 他們入睡 沒有防備的時候 I'd wait until nightfall when they're asleep and vulnerable,
然後在樹線內前進 then advance inside a tree line,
或許設一根絆線 以防他往回跑 maybe rig a trip wire in case he's trying to double back.
好 Okay.
麗茲 Well, Liz...
如果我是你 今晚會鎖好房門的 I'd be locking my door tonight if I were u.
回答得真好 怪胎 其他人? Sweet answer, weirdo And anyone else?
就跟她說的差不多 不過除去連環殺手的部分 Whatever that was, but minus the serial killer part of it.
上 Move.
你幹什麼 誰派你來的? What are u doing? Who sent u?
我投降 投降 I surrender! I surrender!
你是誰? 我是萊昂納多-斯坦曼 Who are u? I'm Leonard Steinman.
林肯的二年級生 I'm a sophomore at Lincoln.
就是想拿吉祥物贖金 這是傳統 Just wanted to hold the mascot ransom. It's tradition.
綁架是一項中學傳統? Kidnapping is a high school tradition?
對 Yeah.
中學傳統 High school tradition.
別打臉 別打臉 Not the face, not the face.
厲害啊 加拿大 Sweet moves, Canada.
嘿 梅根 Hey, Megan.
你沒事吧 You all right?
你把頭掉在那邊了(不知所措) Really lost ur head out there.
我得走了 I got to go.
抱歉 I'm sorry.
天啊 Oh, god.
他來了 是 There he is. Yup.
今天怎麼樣? How we doing, sport?
很好 好的 Good. All right.
那...那個女孩是誰 Who... who's the girl there?
她是新來的 是啊 好 She's just a new student. Yeah, all right.
但你覺得她很可愛 是吧? But u think she's cute, right?
是 她真的很可愛 Yeah, she's really cute.
你們是怎麼說的來著 辣妹? What do u call 'em, like, a hottie?
你們...是不是...這麼說的 Is that... what do u... is it a...
性感小餅乾? 不對 A hottie biscotti? No.
就直接說"喔 她真性感" You just say, like, "oh, she's hot."
真是個寶貝 對 Just like a babe. Yeah.
還是說 這貨? Or u say, like, a bitch?
"嘿 快看那貨" 不 我不會 Like, "hey, look at this bitch." No, I wouldn't...
我不會那麼說 太粗魯了 I wouldn't say that. That's so rude.
是啊 抱歉 Yeah, sorry about that.
咱回家好嗎 好 Can we just go home? Yep.
不過 你要是有任何事想聊 儘管找老爸 But,u know,ur old man is here to talk if u want to talk about anything at all.
是 我知道 Yeah, I know.
好 Okay.
比如性啊...或是交媾啊 或是... Like sex or... Intercourse, or...
走吧 爸爸 走 Let's go, dad. Let's go.
拜託 83 動動腦 Oh, come on, 83, think.
都白訓練了啊 遵守章程 Fall back on ur training. Stick to the profile.
這資料根本是錯的 Ugh, this profile's all wrong!
這是怎麼了 親愛的 這些情報 都是錯的 What's going on, honey? All this intel, it's wrong.
我再也沒臉見人了 我全搞錯了 都錯了 I can never show my face again. I've got it all wrong, all wrong.
所有一切 我... It's everything, I...
我就像是要窒息了 It's like I'm suffocating.
模擬溺水 我可以...我能搞定 Simulated drowning, that, I can... That, I can deal with.
可...這要嚴重得多 Just, this stuff is so much worse.
我...我沒辦法 我一秒鐘都堅持不了了 I can't... I can't do it. I can't take another second of it.
這...這是... 中學生活 It's just... it's... It's high school.
就是這樣 That's all it is.
嘿 聽我說 Hey, look.
過來 Come here. You know...
有人會怒放 這是他們人生最美好的歲月 Some thrive, and it's the best years of their lives.
其他人呢... Others...
其他人則會因為頭上扎了深黑緞帶 Others spend four years being mocked
就像麥當娜在"幸運星"MV裡那樣 for wearing a thick black ribbon in their hair like Madonna
被整整嘲笑4年 in the lucky star video.
什麼? 谷歌一下 What? Oh, Google it.
但我們會撐過去的 不是因為我們很堅強 But we suffer through it, not because we're being strong
或是坦然面對我們的個人風格 or staying true to our personal style,
而是因為摘掉緞帶就意味著 but because taking that ribbon off would mean
向那些混蛋 revealing to those bastards
展露我們最初隱藏起來的那一點禿 the tiny bald spot we were hiding in the first place.
我是假定 Hypothetically.
聽我說 你的感覺是很正常的 Look, what u're feeling is normal.
中學是一段很矛盾的時光 High school is a conflicting time.
好 Okay.
家長建議就此結束 Parental advice terminated.
過來 抱抱 好了 Bring it in. Give me a hug. Okay.
打住 Stop.
我很多年前就處理好了 I had it taken care of years ago.
希望你喜歡我們的款待 還好啦 I hope u've enjoyed our hospitality. It's all right.
你只需要告訴我供貨人的名字 All u got to do is give me the name of ur supplier.
我會保證讓你有尊嚴地在這裡腐爛 I'll see to it u rot here in dignity.
每周洗澡一次 Showers once a week.
女同包廂 周日有法式吐司吃 That l word box set. French toast on Sundays.
你人還真好呢 That's really nice of u.
我們都清楚每個人都會開口 We both know everybody talks.
我們也清楚 我跟別人不一樣 We also both know that I'm not just anybody...
對嗎 鄧布利多? Am I, Dumbledore?
如果你夠聰明 If u played ur cards right,
我們或許還會讓你回來為好人效力 we might even let u come back and play for the good guys.
好人? The good guys?
你殘害人命 You destroy lives.
只有那些該死的 Only those that need to be destroyed.
我不是指那些目標 I'm not talking about the targets.
長官 有件事你得... Sir, I have something u need to...
可是 長官 But, sir...
她真可愛 She's cute.
最後開口的機會 Last chance to talk.
行 Fine.
哪兒都別去 Don't go anywhere.
好 我就在這兒 Yeah, I'll be right here.
知道我喜歡跟我打交道的人哪一點嗎? u know what I like about the people I do business with?
他們清楚自己是混蛋 They know they're assholes.
好笑嗎? Something funny?
你會後悔的 You'll regret this.
她來了 She's here.
怎麼回事? 說笑呢 What's going on? Is that a joke?
昨晚到現在有85000的點擊量了 85,000 views since just last night.
我成網紅了? 如同HPV(人乳頭瘤病毒) I'm viral? Like HPV.
就連"我幹"拉夫都是你粉絲 夥計 快看 Even Rape-It Ralph is a fan. Dude, check this out.
這傢伙就要挨一長號了 This guy's about to get trombonered.
就這樣 Just like... right there.
我靠 Damn, oh!
她讓林肯那些混蛋全都傻眼了 Oh, she showed those d-bags from Lincoln.
嘿 所以說咱們海盜不是好惹的! Hey, this is why u don't mess with us vikings.
對極了 Hell yeah!
裡賈納 裡賈納 裡賈納 Regina, Regina, Regina,
裡賈納 裡賈納 裡賈納 Regina, Regina, Regina, Regina...
隨便了 Whatever.
上大學她就會變肥婆了 She's gonna get really fat in college.
我不懂誒 我像個超級瘋子一樣被人拍下來 I don't get it. I'm on camera acting bat-shit psycho.
通常這樣就會讓人火起來 That's usually what gets people trending.
不不不 我不能出現在網上 No, no, no, no, I can't be on the Internet.
大事不妙 麗茲 真的很不妙 你在這兒啊 That's bad, Liz. That's really bad. There u are.
我們這週末有即興演出 So, um, we're jammin' this weekend.
不如你來瞧瞧? Why don't u stop by?
好啊 沒問題 Yeah, sure.
聽起來很屌 Sounds nickel.
屌? 好啊 到時見 Nickel? Awesome, catch u then.
到時見 Catch u then.
顯然也不是很糟 Obviously not all bad.
聽著 你也許能唬住那些人 但咱倆都清楚 Look,u may have all of these people fooled,but u and I both know
你比凌晨兩點的快餐店還陰森 that u are sketchier than a 2:00 A.M.Waffle house.
天啊 真是對不起 Oh, my God, I'm so sorry!
你真不該偷偷靠近別人 You really shouldn't sneak up on people.
不不不 都是我不好 NO,NO,NO,NO, It's totally my mistake.
好 Okay.
抱歉 歡迎 Sorry. Welcome.
謝謝 這地方很酷 Thanks. This place is really cool.
我拿了冰袋 Got some ice.
太感謝了 Oh, thank u so much.
你瞧 我其實... You know, I'm not...
不是說被你輕易放倒 就真的很脆弱 I'm not as fragile as my easy takedown would suggest.
是 你是趁我不備 No. You caught me off guard.
是啊 我... 通常我都可以保護自己的 Right. I... Usually I can defend myself.
我確實注意到了內力 真的 I did notice that inner buffness, I did.
謝謝 Oh, Thanks.
你打敗了"表情符"最新的MV 是吧 So u're on pace to beat Emotacon's last video release, huh?
真了不起 That's pretty cool.
是啊 該如何關掉網絡呢 講真? Yeah, how do u turn off the Internet? Really?
很多人都迫不及待地求關注呢 u know, a lot of people would kill for that kind of attention.
是啊 怎麼說呢 我還是喜歡低調 Yeah, I don't know. I just prefer to stay below the radar.
好 那或許你以後要避免用跆拳道扁人了 Ok,so maybe u steer clear of anymore Tae Kwon do smackdowns, eh?
其實那是以色列格鬥術與合氣道的結合 That was actually more a mix of Krav Maga and Aikido.
我剛對你使用的才是跆拳道 Tae Kwon do is what I just did on u.
不過在面對多個對手的時候 But when faced with multiple opponents, it's...
怎麼了? 你真怪 What? You're weird.
是啊 但我喜歡 這樣挺好 Yeah, but I like it. It's cool.
你父母是軍隊的嗎? Were ur parents in the military or something?
抱歉 是不是不該提父母? Oh, sor... Are parents a bad topic?
他們在我很小的時候就過世了 They both died when I was really young.
我是在寄養家庭長大的 抱歉 我不知道 I was raised by a foster family. Sorry, I had no idea.
不 沒關係的 我真白痴 No, it's fine. I'm stupid.
你怎麼會知道呢? 我真是...抱歉 How would u have known? I don't know I'm sorry.
不要有第二次了 不然你還得用冰袋 Just don't let it happen again, or u might need more icepacks.
是嗎 羅拉-卡芙特?(古墓麗影主角) Oh, yeah, Lara Croft?
那我告訴你 我想再比過 You know what? I want a rematch.
是嗎? 對 來吧 Do u? Yeah, put 'em up.
好 All right.
我打 Pop.
來 出拳 Here, hit it.
真的? 真的 Really? Yeah.
我不想弄傷你 I don't want to hurt u.
好 來吧 Okay, come on.
噢 好痛 痛死了 Ooh, it hurts. Oh, it stings.
快敷冰 我需要冰 Get the ice. I need the ice.
羅傑 都準備好了嗎 Rogerito, are we set up?
是的 稍等片刻 Uh, yeah. Just give me one second.
我很高興你能來 我也是 I'm glad u could make it. Me too.
你能幫我個忙嗎? Do u think u could do me a favor?
我可以試試 是嗎 I could try. Yeah?
過來 Come on.
我在寫一首新歌 So I'm working on this new song,
但我是當局者 but I'm just so inside of it.
我需要真實意見 如果你不介意的話 I could use an honest opinion, if u don't mind.
當然 No.
還很粗糙 所以...溫柔點 It's pretty rough, so... be gentle.
你處理得很好 什麼? You're handling it pretty well. What's that?
出名這個怪物 The fame monster.
她有時如野獸 所以... She can be a beast. So...
和一個明白其中壓力的人聊聊 感覺不錯 It's nice talking to someone who understands the pressure.
謝謝 是啊 Thanks. Yeah.
不 是我才對 No, that's... That's me.
懂壓力 Pressure understander-er.
你知道那個守衛肯定會看到你的 You know, that guard totally would have seen u.
不可能 我這是隱身模式 Uh-uh, no way. I was in stealth mode.
隱身模式? Stealth mode?
這樣的圍場肯定有反情報裝置的 A compound like this would have counter-intel out its ears.
運動傳感器 高光譜成像 Motion sensors, Hyperspectral imaging.
你不可能在走廊裡秘密活動的 There's no way u could just tiptoe down the hall.
高價值目標絕不會輕易就能面對面拿下的 A high-value target is never gonna be vulnerable to a face-to-face takedown.
是嗎? He's not?
是的 你得採取製造精神痛苦的消極作戰方式 No, u've got to engineer a passive campaign of mental anguish,
基本就是讓目標與他最親近的東西疏遠 basically alienating the target from those closest to him.
他會撤退 不斷產生偏執和疑慮 He'll withdraw, paranoia and suspicion grow,
最終他會選擇自我了斷 and eventually he'll just kill himself.
不知道這上面有沒有這個按鈕呢 I'm not sure if there's a button for that.
是啊 Right, um...
用那根燈線勒死他好了 Just choke him out with that lamp cord, then.
屌啊 多謝 寶貝兒 Nickel. Thanks, babe.
我該...我該走了 I should... I should probably get going.
是啊 當然 Yeah, no doubt.
不過 聽我說 古奇的父母出門了 But,listen,before u bounce, Gooch's 'rents are out of town,
我們這周五要辦派對 你一定要來 so we're throwing down this Friday. u got to be there.
真的嗎? "父母去歐洲"派對? Are u serious? Parents-away-in-Europe party?
天啊 今天真是棒呆了 Oh, my God, this day cannot get any better.
應該是去匹茲堡 Um, Pittsburgh, I think.
不過古奇的派對堪稱傳奇 你來嗎? But Gooch's parties are legendary. You down?
來 我來 好 很屌 Down. I'm down, yeah. Nickel.
絕對的 絕對的 Totem Pole. Totem Pole.
你好啊 83 Greetings, 83.
晚上好 83 你是怎麼找到我的 Good evening, 83. How did u find me?
用我學習打領結和切菠蘿的同一種方法 Same way I learned to tie a bow tie and slice a pineapple:
油管 Youtube.
你是為誰賣命的?東方集團? So who u working for, hmm? Eastern Bloc?
蘭利的阿賽維多? Acevedo over at Langley?
我沒有為任何人賣命 好嗎? I'm not working for anybody, okay?
不如咱們跳過撒謊環節 Why don't we skip the lies
讓佩德羅做他該做的? just let Pedro here go ahead and do his thing?
你沒意見吧? 很刺激的 是不是? You down with that? That'd be hot, right?
哈德曼 拜託 Hardman, please.
這樣吧 退下 佩德羅 You know what? Stand down, Pedro.
知道我要怎麼做嗎? You know what I'm gonna do?
我就直截了當 上... I'm gonna go ahead and cut right to the truth...
吐真劑了 真的嗎 Serum. Seriously?
根本沒用的 Those don't even work.
是啊 沒錯 咱們看看到底有沒有用 Yeah, seriously. Now we're gonna see if it works.
你為什麼逃跑? Why have u run away?
83號 83 83, 83.
再一次 One more time.
你為什麼逃跑? Why did u run away?
你剝奪了我的童年 You deprived me of my childhood.
我又不能舉手說"不好意思啊 長官" I couldn't just raise my hand and say, "excuse me, sir,
"我其實不想當刺客呢" "I don't think I really want to be an assassin.
"我能退出這所秘密殺人學校嗎?" "Can I please be excused from this secret mountain killing school?"
拜託 拜託 能不能... Please, please, can we just...
別用眼淚攻勢 Stop the waterworks?
嘿 咱就實話實說吧 Hey, let's get to the bottom of this.
你為誰賣命 沒有人 Who are u working for? Nobody.
我沒有為任何人賣命 I'm not working for anybody.
我保證 I promise.
好吧 我暑假有為斯巴羅打工過幾個禮拜 Ok I worked for sbarro for a few weeks over the summer
為了多賺點錢 我以為你不會介意的 just to make some extra cash. I didn't think u'd mind.
阿齊茲-法塔赫-斯巴羅? Aziz Fataah Sbarro?
你什麼時候去了黎巴嫩啊 When the hell were u in Lebanon?
是斯巴羅批薩 Sbarro Pizzeria.
是全球最大的百貨公司意大利連鎖餐廳 It's the world's largest Mall-based Italian restaurant chain.
他們的蒜香麵包超好吃 They make these amazing garlic knots.
蒜香麵包超好吃 Amazing garlic knots.
我就是相當普通人 I just want to be normal.
你是普萊斯考特 普萊斯考特不會流淚 You're a Prescott. Prescotts don't cry.
她為什麼哭啊 她努力找尋真實的自己? Why is she crying? Her struggle to find her own identity?
第一次動情帶來的感情波動? The emotional turbulence of a first crush?
可能是她看"戀戀筆記本"看太多遍了 Maybe she watched the notebook one too many times.
青春期對小姑娘來說是很善變的階段 Adolescence is a very volatile time for a young woman.
他好懂我 83 He so gets me. 83!
你是一名叛變特工 You are a rogue agent.
必須有個了結 好吧好吧 This has got to end. Okay, okay, okay.
先別急 你不能就這麼帶我走 Hold on now. You can't just take me.
小鎮發生少女失蹤 Missing girl in a small town
絕對會造成重大影響的 would throw up all kinds of red flags.
安柏警報 知道不? Amber alert, hello?
我得回去 收拾殘局 I need to go back and tie up loose ends,
起碼可以說我祖母生病什麼的 at least just say my grandma got sick or something.
我喜歡 I like it.
好 但必須現在就結束 Okay, but it's got to be done now.
明白嗎? You understand?
來自裡賈納的梅根 發音是... Megan from Regina... It's pronounced...
我知道怎麼發音 I know how it's pronounced.
來自加拿大的梅根 Megan from Canada...
必須消失 Has got to disappear.
永遠地 Forever.
明白嗎 You got it?
好了 給她鬆綁 All right, cut her loose.
嘿 忍者龜 來 洗刷刷 上床睡覺 Hey, ninja turtle, come on. Wash up, bed.
帕克 那個是哪來的? Parker, where did u get that?
天啊 抱歉 梅根 Oh, my God! Sorry, Megan!
走 走 快走 Go, go, go!
嘿 你沒事吧 Hey, are u okay?
還好嗎 嗯 我沒事 很好 Are u okay? Yeah, I'm good. I'm great.
好 關鍵是卷起來 打滾 OKAY. The key is to tuck and roll.
你說什麼 卷起來 怎樣? I'm sorry, tuck and what?
他們是秘密特工嗎? Were those secret agents?
沒錯 帕克 是的 They were, Parker, yes.
不過我沒事 真的 我沒事 But I'm fine. No, I'm okay.
你看看 太陽出來了 I mean, look at this. The sun is out.
雲朵閃著光 The clouds are shining.
你是帕克 你是麗茲 Oh, u are Parker, and u are Liz.
你害怕我 靠 可不是麼 You're scared of me. Hell yes, I am.
不...不只是我 你害怕這個世界 Not... not just me, though. I mean, u fear the world.
每天早上 你都用挖苦諷刺武裝自己 Every morning u dress urself in this cloak of sarcasm.
但卸下這層防備 But stripped bare of this defense,
你就不得不建立與同齡人之間的聯繫 u'd be forced to forge true connections within ur peer group,
讓其他人看到真實的麗茲 allowing people to see the true Liz.
摘掉面紗吧 伊麗莎白 Pull back the veil, Elizabeth.
我不會拒絕你的 I won't reject u.
你說話真搞笑 You talk funny.
又一次敏銳觀察 Another fine observation,
你這個沒有爸爸的敏感小孩 u sensitive boy with no father figure.
天啊 她超懂你 Oh, my God! Okay, she so gets u.
閉嘴 抓住她的腳踝 Shut up and grab her ankles!
你沒事吧? You okay?
沒事 肯定沒睡好 Yeah, I must have sort of slept weird.
好像被人從一輛行駛的車子裡丟出來一樣 I feel like I've been tossed from a moving car.
這感覺我懂 Oh, I know that feeling.
你會去古奇的派對嗎? So, are u going to gooch's party?
不知道呢 我... I don't know. I mean...
我爸不是很喜歡派對什麼的 所以... It's just my dad's not really big on parties, so...
過分保護? Overprotective?
過度警覺 專橫跋扈 喜歡干涉 Hypervigilant, domineering, intrusive.
各種都有 我明白 Any of those work. I know what u mean.
我的養父母有時也是控制狂 My foster parents could be pretty controlling sometimes.
是嗎啊? 他們經常禁足你嗎? Oh, yeah? What, did they ground u a lot?
應該說是監禁 More like solitary confinement.
哇噢 加拿大確實很爛 Wow, Canada really does suck.
我從來都沒有機會去想自己要什麼 I was never really given a chance to figure out what I want.
我幾乎是靠詐死才離開那裡的 I practically had to fake my own death just to get out of there.
起碼你敢反抗 Well, I mean, at least u stood up for urself.
這很棒 有時我也希望自己有條出路 That's cool. Just sometimes I wish I had a way out.
離開這裡嗎? A way out... of here?
你為什麼會想離開這裡呢? Why would u ever want to leave these place?
我想看看新的世界吧 I guess it's just time for something new.
我想這就是上大學的意義 不過我也不知道 I guess that's what college is for. But I don't know.
你有想過接下來怎麼做嗎? I mean, have u thought about what's next for u?
沒有 No.
沒有? 真的沒有 No? No, actually.
我的精力都放在今年 I've been so focused on this year,
還沒想過這個問題 你應該想想 I haven't really thought about it. Well, u should.
未來可在等著你喲 You know, u got a whole life ahead of u.
沒關係的 不管你怎麼做 It doesn't matter. You know, whatever u do,
我肯定都很厲害的 I'm sure it'll be impressive.
你真這麼想? 是的 You really think so? Yeah.
我還沒見過你 I mean, I've never seen u
做什麼不厲害的事兒 所以... do something that wasn't impressive, so...
嘿 夥計們 Hey, guys.
我要辦個派對 好啊 I'm gonna have a party. Sweet.
帶上你的朋友 不要男的 Bring ur friends, but no dudes.
聽你這麼說真好 謝謝 That was a really nice thing to say. Thank u.
你瞧 古奇的派對 Listen, so... Gooch's party.
我們可以回頭再說 Oh, we can talk about it later.
不不 我想現在就說 不 你應該去的 No, no, I want to talk about it now. No, u should go.
真的 沒什麼 Seriously, it's cool.
你真的應該去玩玩 You should really come to the party.
或許是你的出路呢 It could be ur way out.
再看吧 We'll see.
媽媽 你不...不會讓她去的 對吧? Mom, u're not, like, letting her to go that, are u?
當然會了 親愛的 有什麼大不了的? Sure. Honey, what's the big deal?
首先 昨晚她在前院昏倒了 Well, for starters,she was passed out in the front yard last night.
可能她喝了太多酒 Well, maybe she had too much to drink.
在你這兒完全不是問題? And that's just suddenly okay with u?
我知道家裡多了個女孩子 I know having another girl in the house
或許會讓你嫉妒 但不要再這樣了 might be causing some jealousy issues but this needs to stop.
好吧 那我覺得這個派對對她來說不安全 Ok then I don't think that this party will be a safe environment for her.
為什麼? Why is that?
因為古奇會在 古奇就是頭豬 Because gooch is gonna be there, and gooch is a pig.
商業課上 他有個策劃 In business class, he had this proposal
是開一家海盜主題餐館 to have a pirate-themed restaurant
飯後你就可以選擇掠奪你的女招待 where after dinner u have the option to plunder ur waitress.
你要是覺得這麼危險 Well, if u think it's gonna be that dangerous,
那我想你要跟她一起去 then I think u need to go with her.
什麼? 對啊 你倆可以一起跳海 What? Yeah, u two can walk the plank together.
你...是開玩笑嗎? 你要去 Are u... is that a joke? You're going.
老天啊 Oh, my God!
玩開心喲 Yeah, and try to have some fun.
酷斃了 Oh, that's sick.
別電我啊 老兄 "Oh, don't tase me, bro."
帕克 天啊 Parker. Oh, my God.
帕克 Parker.
這些都是哪來的? 親愛的 Where do u get these things? Honey.
你很漂亮 You look cute.
謝謝 你也是 Thanks. You too.
真是太贊了 是啊 This is awesome. Yeah.
就跟健身俱樂部似的 Like a bally's total fitness.
自由 Freedom!
把你的酒給我 老兄 Give me ur drink, bro.
我要忘掉這一幕 所以... Well, I'm gonna need to black that out, so...
啤酒? Keg?
我沒事 I'm okay!
我真沒事兒 Yeah, I'm okay!
不 不過說實話 我們是在澳洲認識的 No, but, true story... We met when I was in Australia.
他算是那裡的皇室了 He was practically royalty there.
什麼 這麼說你跟他是朋友? Wait, so u're friends with him?
我很喜歡他的電影呢 我不會說我們是朋友 Because I love his movies. I wouldn't say we're friends
不過你真該悄悄他發給我的"短性息" but u should see the snapchats he sends me.
這是我聽過最牛的一件事了 That is the coolest thing I have ever heard.
慢著點兒 別把我頭髮弄亂了 Easy, tiger. Gonna mess up my hair.
你為什麼會在這兒 84? Why are u even here, 84?
為什麼要假裝你認識一個姓海姆斯沃斯的? And why are u pretending to know a Hemsworth?
我沒有假裝 那你是認識哪個? I'm not pretending. Which one do u know?
重要嗎? 重要嗎? Does it matter? "Does it matter?"
淡定 Chill out.
我只是來監視的 梅根 I'm just keeping an eye on things... Megan.
哈德曼讓你來盯著我? So hardman sent u to watch over me?
保險政策 Insurance policy.
不能帶你走 就強迫你走 If we can't get u out, we'll force u out.
所以就毀掉我的社交生活 By ruining my social life.
不過看起來你也沒什麼社交啊 Though it doesn't seem like u have much of one.
你擦的是錢婆香水? Are u wearing kesha?
她的香氣是絕對真理 Mm, her scent is the absolute truth.
還有...現在叫希瑟 Oh, and... It's Heather now.
親親 Kisses.
給我回來 你去哪兒啊 Ugh, come back here. Where are u going?
什麼情況 What the fuck was that?
對不起 我沒光著 Oh, I-I'm sorry. I'm decent.
不用擔心 Don't worry about it.
不 沒事兒 我還是... No, it's fine. I think I'll probably...
別走 麗茲-拉森 跟我聊聊 Stay with me, Liz Larson, and talk.
留下來跟我說說話 拜託了 你知道我名字? Stay and talk with me, please. You know my name?
當然了 我為什麼不知道? Yeah, why wouldn't I know ur name?
你想知道我的名字嗎? Do u want to know my name?
我從年鑒上看到 你的興趣是大金剛和驢子潘趣 I know that according to the yearbook,ur interests are donkey Kong and donkey punches,
這樣對我就足夠了 so that's enough for me.
我叫伯納德 My name is Bernard.
但是伯納德有龍舌蘭 But Bernard has Tequila,
麗茲-拉森 就在這個酒壺裡 Liz Larson, in this awesome flask.
摘掉面紗 Pull back the veil.
伯納德的龍舌蘭就在這個龍舌蘭酒壺裡 Bernard's Tequila in this flask Tequila.
來吧 喝一口 好 好吧 So come, drink. Okay, yeah.
好極了 Oh, yes.
好 沒問題吧 Okay. are u okay?
你聽說返校舞會了吧 So, u heard about homecoming?
我看上了一個小子 I have my eye on this one guy.
不知道他在不在這兒 I wonder if he's here.
有 他在那兒 Yep, there he is.
是啊 想都別想 Yeah, don't even think about it.
什麼? Oh, what?
害怕有人喜歡我多過你? Worried somebody might like me more than u?
我警告你 I'm warning u.
他是我的 走著瞧 He's mine. We'll see.
你們想玩啤酒乒乓嗎? So u ladies want to play some beer pong?
想 想 Yes. Yes.
嘿 我是凱什 Hey, I'm cash.
希瑟 來吧 Heather. Come on.
嘿 你認真的啊? Hey, are u serious?
是 Yes.
都是因為我和我爸 It's all because of me and my old man.
他就是個沒腦的機器 根本不理解我 He's just this mindless machine that I can't even relate to anymore.
"你必須當第一 "You got to be number one.
"這個家裡不允許有失敗者 "I won't tolerate any losers in this family.
"你這種強度根本不夠 要贏 贏 贏 "Your intensity's for shit. Win, win, win."
真是...王八蛋 It's... u son of a bitch.
有時 Sometimes...
有時真希望可以喘口氣 Sometimes I wish my knee would just give
他會放我一馬 and he would forget all about me.
我很遺憾 我不知道 I'm so sorry. I mean, I had no idea...
你這麼會演戲 You were such a great actor!
天啊 這是"早餐俱樂部"裡的一段獨白? Oh, god, that was the breakfast club monologue?
沒錯 我喜歡 Yeah. Oh, I love it.
別人很少相信我會演戲 就因為我的外表 People don't usually believe I can act, just 'cause of the way I look.
當然 我不是維拉·法梅加 但我認為自己有才華 Yeah, sure, I'm no Vera farmiga, but I believe I have talent.
超級有才 Tremendo talent.
真的? 是啊 Really? Yeah.
謝謝 Thank u.
嘿 夥計 嘿 Hey, man. Hey.
敲敲門 Knock-knock.
看啊 是羅傑 Oh, look, it's Roger.
羅傑兔 你好啊 Roger Rabbit. What up?
快進來 Come get in.
過來玩 很開心的 Come hang. It's nice.
不了 不用了 No, that's okay.
不過看上去裡面確實很開心 It does look like fun in here, though.
快樂所在 浴缸很好玩 That's where the fun is. Tubs are fun.
你們有看到梅根嗎? u guys have not seen Megan anywhere, have u?
誰想知道? 我 Who wants to know? I do.
他有張可靠的臉 可靠? He has a trustworthy face. Trustworthy?
有一點 除了那個傻笑 A little bit, except for that smirk.
她在樓下 She's downstairs.
不過... But...
不是我告訴你的喲 因為我... You did not hear that from me,because I...
根本不在這裡 Was never here.
你們玩開心 謝謝 You guys have fun. Thank u.
不 真的 太開心了 嘿 梅根 No, really, it's so much fun. Hey, Megan.
你知道...你知道伯納德在哪兒嗎? Do u know where... Do u know where Bernard is?
這家店...好大啊 This store is, like, huge.
誰是伯納德? 他...就是 你知道... Who's Bernard? He's... just, if u know...
等他回我電話 When he calls me back,
你能告訴他我就... could u just tell him that I'm gonna be...
我就在這張桌子下面 I'm just gonna be under this table.
出租車來了 Cab's here.
誰想吃松餅? 天啊 我要吃 Who's up for waffles? Oh, my God, let's do it.
嘿 梅根 你來嗎? Hey, Megan, u in?
我應該送她上床睡覺 I should really get her to bed.
我想她已經找到了 來吧 我們一起去吃點兒 I think she's already found one. Come on, let's grab a bite.
來吧 凱什 Ugh, come on, cash.
你是想玩一下 還是想搞一下? Do u want to hang out or bang out?
麗茲 嘿 Liz, hey.
坐起來 我要去吃松餅 Sit up for a sec. I'm gonna go out for waffles,
不過我會給你帶個煎餅的 but I'll bring u a short stack.
我去去就回 給你帶好吃的 I'll be right back. I'll bring u waffles.
好 Okay.
這兒有人跟你說返校舞會嗎? Has anyone around here told u about homecoming?
沒 走吧 No Come on.
好吧 Yeah, okay.
真是荒唐 我今早都沒喝咖啡 This is ridiculous. I haven't even had coffee this morning.
我醒來 結果看到什麼? 臉上畫著JJ I wake up, and what do I come down to? Dicks in my face.
你怎麼會認為可以在陌生人家睡覺的啊 What in that head of urs thought it was okay to sleep at a stranger's house?
是你讓我玩開心的啊 開心 開心 You told me to go have fun. Fun, fun.
可你大早上6點搖搖晃晃回來 But u stumbled in here at 6:00 A.M.
臉上還畫著男性生殖器 With male genitalia drawn on ur face.
我有確保她的安全 I made sure she was safe.
什麼? 她有枕頭的 Excuse me? She had a pillow.
她應該被送回家 What she should have had was a ride home.
你不能把朋友丟在沙發上 You don't leave a friend on a couch
就因為你想跟一個樂隊白痴男去吃早飯 because u want to go have breakfast with some silly little boy band.
這個家裡的人要互相照顧 We look out for each other in this family.
明白嗎 Got it?
是 夫人 Yes, ma'am.
真混蛋 他們用的是記號筆 Assholes. Ugh, they used a sharpie.
你得臉上畫著這個去教堂了 You're gonna go to church with that on ur face.
你何不走過去跟牧師說"嘿 我臉上有個JJ" Why don't u walk right up to the pastor say"I've got a penis on my face"?
我會的 是嗎 I will. u will?
好 好極了 咱們給外婆看看 Okay, great, let's go show it to grandma.
上車了 親愛的 Step right up, gumdrop.
今天是美好的一天啊 It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood.
嘿 倒數第三排上有口香糖 你能清理一下嗎 Hey,there's some gum three rows back.u think u could get on that?
青少年的諷刺 Ooh, teenage sarcasm.
你有試過青春痘和飲食失調了嗎? Have u tried acne and eating disorders too?
你有試過刮鬍子嗎 Have u tried shaving?
馬丁-范布倫想要回他的鬍子呢 Martin Van Buren called and wants those sideburns back.
馬丁-范布倫1822年就死了 Marty Van B. Died in 1822,
距離發明電話14年 14 years before the invention of the telephone.
現在知道我為什麼更傾向在家上學了吧 Now u see why I prefer homeschooling?
坐 Sit.
我要把你撤走 什麼? I'm pulling u out. What?
不 我們說好的 No, we had a deal.
取消了 自己看看屏幕 Deal's off. Look at ur screen.
諾克斯跑了 還留下了死亡威脅 Knox escaped, and she left a really nice death threat.
這怎麼可能 有人幫她 How is that possible? She had help.
我失去了很得力的手下 I lost some good people.
不想再失去你 所以我要送你到安全的地方 Don't want to lose u, so I'm trying to get u somewhere safe.
我在這兒就很安全 謝謝 你剛登陸了臉書 I'm safe here, thank u. u just logged on to Facebook.
用的是化名 我要帶你回去 Under an alias. I'm taking u back.
我在這兒有真正的生活 好嗎 I have an actual life here now, okay?
我不要回去普萊斯考特 I'm not going back to Prescott.
等諾克斯找到你 And when Knox finds out where u are,
她就會用你的真實生活來摧毀你 she will use ur actual life to destroy u.
冷酷無情 記得嗎 83? No attachments, remember, 83?
我無法再那樣生活了 I can't live like that again.
嘿 我們等著呢 要遲到了 快點 Hey, we're out here.We're gonna be late. Come on.
你想要一個人 If u want to go it alone,
就必須是百分之百的 u'll have to go 100% alone.
我不會回去的 I won't be back.
麗茲好不容易才把我當人看 It's just, Liz is finally acting like a human towards me,
我肯定羅傑是我第一個真正的朋友 and I'm pretty sure Roger's my first real friend,
還有個超級大帥哥邀請我去返校舞會 and I just got asked out by the hottest guy to homecoming.
我從沒參加過返校舞會 好嗎? I've never been to a homecoming, okay?
這...我不走 我要留下 This is... I'm not going. I'm staying.
讓我下車 記住 83 Let me off. Remember, 83...
我不是搞救援的 I'm not in the rescue business.
如果諾克斯來了 她最好帶上烈火 If Knox comes... She better bring fire,
帶上電閃雷鳴 還有地獄 she better bring thunder, and she better bring hell.
讓她盡量10點半前到 我有宵禁的 Just tell her to bring it before 10:30. I've got a curfew.
真不懂你氣個什麼 I don't know why u're so mad, all right?
又不是我灌你喝龍舌蘭的 I didn't pour Tequila down ur throat.
我被人亂畫了臉 好嗎 I got Pablo dicasso'd on my face. Yeah?
簡直是中學恥辱的巔峰了 That's, like, the pinnacle of high school humiliation.
洗掉了啊 差不多吧 It washed off. Sort of.
什麼? What?
天啊 還有照片 Oh, my God. And the photos!
現在都發到Instagram上了 Instagram, like, owns them now.
咱能稍微正面一點嗎 Can we just focus on the positive for a minute?
凱什邀請我去返校舞會了 Cash asked me to homecoming!
我要是不跟他去 他就會邀請希瑟了 If I hadn't gone with him,he would have asked Heather.
那樣可就沒戲了 天啊 大花痴 That would have been game over. Jesus, Ringwald!
你活在"青春電影"的幻想裡 一點也不膩嗎? Do u never tire of this "I'm in a teen movie" fantasy?
我都不明白你幹嘛對這傢伙如此著迷 I don't even understand why u're so obsessed with this guy.
我是說 好吧 他是很帥 玩樂隊的 耶 I mean, like, okay, he's cute and he's in a band, yay.
他長得就像克里斯-安吉 He also looks like the ass-baby
和拉塞爾·布蘭德拉出來的小孩 of criss angel and Russell brand.
你好? Hello?
有在聽我說話嗎? Are u listening to me?
你在看什麼啊 What are u staring at?
趴下 Down!
跟我換位置 Switch seats with me!
天啊 怎麼回事? Oh, my god! What's happening?
有人想我死 Somebody wants me dead.
現在是飛車追逐 麗茲 好吧 為什麼? We're in a car chase, Liz. Okay, why?
我不是從加拿大來的 I'm not from Canada.
我是一個訓練兒童刺客的 I'm a fugitive from a quasi-governmental
半政府軍事機構的逃兵 military facility that trains child assassins.
我偽造死亡 逃跑 假扮成一名交換生 I faked my own death, ran away,pretended to be an exchange student.
我不知該怎麼跟你說 我得離開這兒 I didn't know how to tell u. I got to get out of here.
不 你為什麼要那麼做啊 不知道 No! Why would u do that? I don't know!
好 我需要你調整呼吸 All right, I need u to get ur breathing under control
免得... before u...
現在感覺好多了 是吧 柵欄 You feel better now, don't u? Fence!
出什麼事了 What happened?
你幹什麼? 他們會閃的 What are u doing? They'll move.
你瘋了嗎 他們會閃開的 Are u crazy? They'll move.
住手 Stop!
待在這兒 Stay here.
錢婆香水 Kesha.
特工83 咱們不是斷交了嗎 Agent 83, I thought we were done with each other.
她是個雙重間諜 哈德曼 She's a goddamn double agent, Hardman.
你怎麼這麼生氣 你派來的保護要殺我 Why do u sound so upset? ur protection tried to kill me.
你指的什麼保護? 84號 And what protection would that be? 84.
特工84? 你見過她? Agent 84? You've seen her?
是的 我見過她 你派她來跟著我的 Yes, I've seen her. You assigned her to shadow me.
她想搶我男朋友 She tried to steal my boyfriend.
沿著導線找到開關盒 Follow the lead wire back to the switching box.
紅色那根 請不要炸死我 The red one. Please don't blow me up.
我沒有派84 I did not send 84.
事實上 我以為她死了 As a matter of fact, I thought she was dead,
在諾克斯逃跑時遇害了 killed in action during the Knox escape.
什麼? 天啊 What? Oh, God.
這下事情大條了 This is a hell of a state of affairs.
把我的裝備送過來 我可以幹掉她 Just send me my gear. I can take her out.
不不不 83 我警告過你 Oh, no, no, no, 83.I warned u about this.
你現在只能靠自己 You're on ur own.
先掛了 哈德曼 別... Got to go. Hardman, no...
抱歉 Sorry.
所以說我們要穿防護服 And that's why we wear the suits.
羅傑? Roger?
我不知道你在這兒 I didn't know u were here.
是啊 我聽說出車禍了 謝謝你趕來 Yeah,I heard about the accident. Thanks so much for coming.
我現在真的很需要朋友 I really needed a friend right now.
是啊 我肯定凱什在路上了 Right. Well, I'm sure cash is on his way.
我很高興你沒有受傷 Anyway, I'm really glad u're not hurt.
我們回頭見 好嗎? I'll see u around. Okay?
那個...受訓刺客? So... Trained assassin, huh?
謝天謝地 你沒有一生氣就幹掉我 Thank god u didn't get pissed and bump me off.
你為什麼來? Why did u come?
我看到了全家福 I saw the family photo.
你們看起來很幸福 我想和你們一樣 u guys looked really happy. I wanted to be a part of that.
但我從沒想過會這樣的 麗茲 真的對不起 But I never wanted this, Liz. I'm really sorry.
不 No.
一切都很好 我沒事 Everything's fine. I'm fine.
真的 我想只是瘀傷而已 I mean, really, I think it's mostly just bruising.
天啊 哈德曼是對的 Oh, god... Hardman was right.
我真是太蠢了 居然不聽 I was just too stupid to listen.
我得走了 I got to go.
別離開我們 只有這樣才能保證你們的安全 don't leave us. It's the only way to keep u guys safe.
胡說 Bullshit.
聽著 我很遺憾事情不總是如預期那般 Look, I'm sorry that this is not working out the way that u always imagined.
但人生就是很混亂 But life is messy,
大家誰都無法避免 and it doesn't give a free pass to anyone,
不管你會說多少種不同語言 no matter how many different languages u speak
又或是你用呼啦圈就可以殺人 or whether or not u can kill someone with a hula-hoop.
拋棄別人 並不是在幫他們 Abandoning people is not how u help them.
離開才是最傷人的 相信我 Leaving is what hurts. Trust me.
外面有危險又自私的反社會分子想幹掉我 麗茲 There are vicious,self-absorbed sociopaths out to get me right now, Liz.
我想 I mean...
中學你都熬過來了 對嗎? You survived high school, right?
這些人能有多壞? How bad could these guys be?
你去哪兒? 我哪兒都不去 Where are u going? I'm not going anywhere.
謝謝你的畫 塔克 Thanks for my picture, Tucker.
好嗎? Okay?
把我的護目鏡放回去 Now put back my goggles!
我靠 好吧 Shit. Okay, uh...
我先迴避一下 I'll let u guys have a minute.
太扯了 Oh, crazy.
你要看一下... 好 多謝 You want to check ur... Yeah, thanks.
好...回頭打給我 Yeah, well, just... Call me later.
鮮肉啊 Fresh meat.
閉嘴 Shut up.
你不能批評我 You cannot judge me.
沒有 Not judging.
完全沒有 Not judging.
依照任務描述 我們就可以平安回家 Follow the mission profile, and we all come home safely.
我們有主場優勢 所以讓諾克斯找上門來 We have the home field advantage,so we let Knox come to us.
不過現在是返校舞會 每個女孩都需要保護 It is homecoming, though. Every girl should use protection.
好 我們行動 Okay, let's do this.
好極了 拜託把這個從我眼前拿開 Awesome, please take this away from me.
我會吐你一身的 I'm gonna throw up all over u.
拜託 Please...
殺人是怎樣的? 什麼? What's it like to kill someone? Excuse me?
就是 你有沒有 I just mean, do u even...
感覺懊悔 當你開槍打人的時候 Feel remorse when u're like,shooting someone in the face?
他們教我們要脫離感情 They used to tell us that we had to detach,
但是...我從來都做不到 but... I never could.
那是怎樣 你是夜裡總會 So, wait, then are u, like, haunted at night
夢到被你殺死的那些人嗎 by the visions of the souls that u've taken?
不 不不是啦 No, no, not... no.
不是那樣的 Not quite.
你瞧 我... See, I've...
其實從來沒有過 什麼? Never actually done it before. What?
等下 你說你經驗豐富啊 Wait, u told me u were, like, miss experienced.
我從沒這麼說過 我記得你有說過 I never said that. I distinctly remember u saying that.
我知道怎麼做 好嗎 我或許是有說過 I know how it works, okay? I may have said that.
我看過錄像 各種不同的方式 I've seen videos, different ways that it's done.
就是自己沒試過 從來沒有過? I've just never done it myself. Like, never?
有次在倫敦我跟一個男人就差一步 I came really close once and grazed this guy in London.
這算嗎? 算 Does that count?That counts.
我覺得必須要徹底才算 I think it has to go all the way in.
好了 Okay, wow.
如果要吹毛求疵的話 那就是沒有 If we're gonna nitpick here, then technically no.
不過我做過很多其他的 I've done lots of other stuff, though.
好吧 Okay.
我有 我相信 I have. I believe u.
沒你想的那麼簡單 好嗎 It's not as easy as u think, okay?
需要嘗試很多次才行的 It can take a few times for things to line up.
搞不懂你笑什麼 I don't know why u're laughing.
不 我會...我會做的 No, I would... I would do it.
如果有必要 我會的 If I had to, I would do it.
我就是... I just...
覺得第一次應該特別一點 I just think the first time should be special.
是吧? 是啊 Right? Yeah, well...
那有一件事咱們意見一致 We agree on one thing, then.
在聊什麼呢? What are we talking about?
要不要 爆米花? Uh... would u... Popcorn?
你要吃爆米花嗎?我敢說你肯定想吃 Would u like some popcorn? I bet u'd like some popcorn.
想不想吃爆米花? Wouldn't u like some popcorn?
嗨 準備好了? Hi. Ready?
是的 我還可以嗎? Yeah, am I good?
好極了 好 Better than good. Okay.
不過稍等 One sec, though.
近一點 好 Close. Okay.
好了 There.
眼睛上加一點煙燻 Just a little bit of smoke around the eyes.
增加你的神秘氣息 Adds to ur mystique.
我呢? And me?
你確定要穿這雙高跟鞋? You positive about the heels?
是的 沒問題的 沒問題 Yeah, I got this. You got this.
去征服他們吧 Go get 'em.
少了你可不行 我們走 Not without u. Let's go.
三 二 一 Three, two, one.
好 Yes.
那... So, um...
麗茲-拉森 Liz Larson, huh?
是啊 我能說什麼呢? Uh, yeah, u know... What can I say?
我喜歡跟她一起的自己 I like who I am around her.
有你的 古奇 現在是伯納德 Good for u, gooch. Oh, it's Bernard now.
伯納德 It's Bernard.
你好 你好嗎 Hello. How's it going?
瞧你們 都打扮好了 是啊 Look at u, all dressed. Yeah.
真不錯 謝謝 This is nice. Thank u.
我喜歡 拿著 姑娘們 I like this. There u go, girls.
好 太好了 謝謝 Okay, great. Thank u.
你們真漂亮 謝謝 You girls look beautiful. Thank u.
等等 等一下 我們拍張照 Oh, oh, wait, wait, wait. Let's take a picture.
好 Okay.
一 二 One, two...
茄子 Cheese.
你幹什麼啊 留個紀念 What are u doing? Make memories...
不是小孩子了 Not babies.
謝謝 記住 小夥子們 Thank u. Remember, boys...
你對她們做什麼 我都會加倍奉還 Whatever u do to them, I'm gonna do to u.
不開玩笑 天啊 我的第一個返校舞會 Not kidding. Oh, my God, my first homecoming.
準備好了? 做好一切準備 You ready? Just be ready for anything.
明白 Gotcha.
凱什在哪兒? 看到凱什嗎? Where's Cash? Seen Cash?
別貼這麼近 Uh-uh-uh, not tightly there.
領帶不錯 有點神秘感 安柏 Good tie. Little mystery, Amber.
我喜歡這首歌 你想跳舞嗎? I love this song. Do u want to go dance?
好啊 好 Yes. Yes!
我們要跟他們一起嗎 接下來就是"表情符"表演了 Should we go join them? Oh, emotacon's on next.
或許等下吧 好的 Maybe after. Sure, okay.
芝士怎麼樣? How's the cheese?
不賴 Not bad.
真的很"芝士" It's actually pretty "gouda."
你是說好吃? 不 很芝士 You mean good? No, gouda.
就是個...玩笑 It's... it's a joke.
這是奶酪 荷蘭芝士 很好吃 對 對啊 It's cheese, gouda, it's good. Right, right.
我懂了 豬式拉丁語(一種遊戲) I get it, yeah. Pig Latin.
不對 No.
天啊 我... Gosh, I've...
這樣的一個晚上 我已經夢想很久了 I've dreamt about a night like this for a really long time,
而且我真的很開心 and I have had so much fun.
你是一支超棒樂隊的主唱 You're the front man of an amazing band.
你是這所學校的國王 等一下 You're the king of this high school. Wait a minute.
你是要甩掉我嗎? Are u dumping me?
我不知道 聽我說 寶貝 I don't know. You know what, babe?
不管是怎樣 我們等會兒再說吧 Whatever it is, let's talk about it later.
等會兒? Later?
是啊 我今晚有個重要表演 Yeah, it's just, I got a big show tonight.
我得讓嗓子好好休息 You know, I got to keep my voice rested.
對 好 當然 Right, okay. Of course.
失陪 Excuse me.
女人 誰需要她們啊 Women... Who needs 'em?
我是個白痴 我欠你一個大大的道歉 I'm an idiot, and I owe u a huge apology.
梅根 別說了 Megan, just stop.
你生氣 我明白 我們能... You're pissed. I get it. Can we just...
我不生氣 好嗎? I'm not pissed, all right?
你想跟搖滾明星約會 沒問題 If u want to go date the rock star, that's fine.
想跟那些受歡迎的人一起玩 隨便了 You want to go hang with the cool crowd, whatever.
但我只是想你知道 我不是 But I just want u to know that... I don't.
等一下 我腦子裡練習過的 Hold on. I was practicing this in my head,
我想要全說出來 and I want to get it all out.
我只是很好奇 你不是什麼? I'm just curious. You don't what?
我不想跟搖滾明星約會 I don't want to date the rock star.
好嗎? 原來他們根本不懂雙關語 All right? It turns out, they don't get puns,
完全不懂 like, at all.
我想了接下來要怎麼做 I thought about what was next for me.
是你 It's u.
我? It's me?
你真的認為我會讓這麼強的內力跑掉? u really thought I'd let all this inner buffness get away from me?
或許我已經太遲了 但根據我的詳盡研究 Look, maybe I'm too late,but according to my exhaustive research,
在返校舞會上 和我很喜歡的男生 it is very important that I dance with a guy
一起跳舞 是很重要的 that I really, really like at homecoming.
我能跳這支舞嗎 Can I have this dance?
靠 不行 別跟這兒亂摸我的男伴 Hell no, u can't. Quit getting handsy with my date.
什麼? 她是想摸你嗎? What? Did she try to touch u?
你怎麼認識她的? How do u even know her?
伯納德 稍等我一下 Bernard, give me one second.
你的男伴? 對 爪子拿開 Your date? Yeah, so paws off.
嘿 等一下 你幹什麼啊 Hey, just one second. What are u doing?
別惹她啊 我們有新任務 Don't taunt her. We've got a new mission.
真的? 是什麼? Really? What is it?
讓那個臭婊子別再摸我的男人 For that douche-baguettte to take her hands off my man!
好吧 Okay.
她們在為羅傑打架嗎? Are they fighting over Roger?
我聽說你出外勤死了 真是最難過的一天了 When I heard u died in the field, it was the worst day of my life.
因為我想親手殺死你 Because I wanted to kill u myself.
這是怎麼回事 What is happening?
天啊 這裡面有麩筋嗎 Oh, god, is there gluten in this?
麩筋? 這是純液體的啊 Gluten? It's all liquid.
所以? 醬油是液體 裡面有麩筋的 大姐 So? Soy sauce is liquid, and it has gluten in it. Hello?
你覺得水果潘趣裡有醬油嗎? Do u think there's soy sauce in the fruit punch?
天啊 你小時候被爹媽灌了多少 God,how much hormone-injected beef
打過荷爾蒙的牛肉啊 did ur parents feed u as a baby?
閉嘴 辛迪 你閉嘴 唐娜 Shut up, Cindy. You shut up, Donna.
絕對的 Totem Pole.
在我海扁你之前 我要先稱讚你一句 Before I kick ur ass, let me just say well done.
你總算有一次不像個變性人了 For once, u don't look like a tranny mess.
謝謝 我真的很喜歡你的禮服 Thanks. I really like ur dress.
長度剛好展示你那兩條白色大粗腿 Perfect length to show off those cottage-cheese thighs.
你巴不得有這樣的身材呢 P90x練出來的 賤人 You wish u had this bod. P90x, bitch.
是P90XL才對 賤人 P90 extra large, bitch.
我知道你在這兒 I know u're in here.
梅根 Megan.
我們一向都清楚會是這種結果 We always knew it would end up like this...
我拿著刀子 Me with a knife,
捅進你的身體裡 u with it in u.
哈德曼對我們期望太高 Hardman expected so much out of us.
但諾克斯讓我看到了更划算的 But Knox opened my eyes to a better deal.
她去搞定你那可愛的新家庭 She takes care of ur precious new family,
而我來殺了你 and I kill u.
而且 我還可以跟凱什親熱 Plus, I got to make out with cash...
還有羅傑 And Roger.
什麼? What?
熱飯來了 賤人 Hot lunch, bitch!
沒事吧你 沒事 你呢 You good? Yeah, u?
我好極了 Ooh, I'm really good.
捅人真好玩 Stabbing people is fun.
還有更多人給我捅嗎? Are there gonna be more people for me to stab?
沒了 放下玉米熱狗 我們得回家去了 No, put the corn dog down. We got to get home.
好 Okay.
這邊安全 We're all clear out here.
那女孩兒在哪兒 Where the hell is that girl?
該死的 God damn it.
你們真得加強一下周邊安全了 u guys really need to do something about that perimeter security.
梅根? 歡迎回家 83 Megan? Welcome home, 83.
看來有人今晚不走運啊 Looks like someone didn't get lucky tonight.
你為什麼回來 諾克斯? Why'd u come back, Knox?
很多原因 Whole list of reasons,
但不如我們就說是...復仇? but why don't we just settle on... revenge?
知道嗎 你可以叫我維多利亞 You know, u can call me Victoria.
靠 不如我們更親近一些? Hell, why don't we get real familiar?
何不叫我1號呢 Why don't u call me number one?
畢竟當初哈德曼是這麼叫我的 After all, that is what hardman used to call me.
你是普萊斯考特? 最初的普萊斯考特 親愛的 You're a Prescott? The original Prescott, sweetheart.
我們有很多相似之處 We have a lot in common.
不過 哈德曼警告我時 我聽話了 Although, I listened to hardman when he warned me about...
感情 Attachments.
麗茲 Liz!
我發現這隻小耗子在外面跑 I found this little rat scurrying outside.
你不想傷害你的感情對象 對嗎 Don't want to hurt ur attachments, do we?
放下 Drop it.
立刻 立刻 Now. Now.
放了他們 好嗎 Let them go, all right?
他們跟這件事無關 當然有關了 They're not involved. Of course they are.
事情不需要這樣結束的 This doesn't have to end this way.
你和我其實有很多相似之處 You and I actually do have a lot in common.
只不過我不是個腦子有病的賤人 Oh, except I'm not a psycho bitch.
日子還長著呢 Give it some time.
你說呢 83? What do u say, 83?
第一個普萊斯考特? First Prescott, huh?
真是想不到啊 你說什麼 Never would have guessed. Excuse me?
估計那時候普萊斯考特的標準比較低吧 Well,Prescott probably just had lower standards then, yeah?
什麼樣的廢柴都肯要 Taking whatever losers they could get.
這姑娘夠敢說的 Well, this girl's got a mouth on her.
你要是想打架 If u wanted a fight,
直說就好 小賤貨 u could have just said so, little bitch.
給我起來 Get ur ass up.
站起來 我有口吃嗎? On ur feet.Did I stutter?
第三輪? Round three?
你個小可憐 Oh, u sad little thing.
你以為他會來救你 You think he's coming for u.
哈德曼根本不在乎你 Hardman doesn't give a shit about u.
你是孤單一個 You're all alone.
我一點都不孤單 I'm definitely not alone.
嘿 她有個忍者 Hey, she's got a ninja.
帕克 不 帕克 不要 Parker, no! Parker, no!
趴下 Get down!
我靠 What the Fu...
你來了 You came.
看來1號特工完蛋了 Looks like agent one is done.
把她銬起來 梅根 Cuff her. Megan.
過來 天啊 Come here. Oh, my god.
帕克 你那麼做真的很蠢 也真的很酷 Parker, that was so dumb, but really cool.
你是為我來的 其實 我們是為了諾克斯 You came back for me. Actually, we came for Knox.
而且 甜蜜16歲確實需要些實戰經驗 Plus, the sweet 16s needed some real combat experi...
你是為我而來的 You came back for me.
好啦好啦 Okay, okay.
所以我們之間是有感情的 特工... So we do have our attachments, agent Eighty...
梅根 Megan.
還有更糟的 There are worse things.
你不是要參加舞會嗎? Don't u have a dance to get to?
你說我自由了? 並沒有 You mean I'm free? Uh, not really.
一個隱藏很深的秘密特工 An off-the-books agent in deep cover
我現在可不想放棄這樣的人才 is not an asset I'm willing to let go right now.
我們保持聯繫 I'll be in touch.
你準備好了嗎? Are u ready to do this?
好像我會讓你隻身前往似的 我們走 Like I'd let u go in without backup. Let's go.
12點前給我滾回來 Have ur asses back here by midnight!
我們盡量啦 你想知道忍者的一個冷知識嗎? We'll try. You want to know a fun fact about ninjas?
並不像 我就是 Not really. Well, I am one.
是喲? Is that right?
前往"男子普萊斯考特"網站 填申請表吧 Go to www.Prescottschoolforboys and fill out an application.
快答應 拜託 我能去嗎? Say yes. Please, can I go?
我們再商量 Uh... we'll talk.
好吧 隨便了 可愛的孩子 Okay, whatever. Cute kid.
謝謝 Thank u.
嗨 我是潘妮 這是我的家 Hi, I'm Penny. This is my house.
我這兒有你想要的東西 潘妮 And I've got something u want, Penny.
不過首先 我要先盤問你 But first, I debrief u.
跟我來 Come with me.
我很多年沒有被盤問過了 I haven't been debriefed in years.
顯然你是不會跟我說今晚的事了 Obviously u're not telling me something about tonight.
你還是處男嗎? Did u lose ur virginity?
是嗎? Did u?
好吧 你個小狼狗 Okay, u dirty dog.
好吧 好 All right, all right.
只有我先告訴你我失去處男身的故事 Well, it's only appropriate that I tell u the story
這樣才對 about when I lost my virginity.
她是我們家的保姆 比我大很多 She was our babysitter. She was a lot older than me.
很溫柔的情人 她差不多65了 Very gentle, gentle lover. She was about 65.
喔 爸爸 停車 Whoa, Dad, stop.
等一下 嘿 你去哪兒啊 Hold on. Hey, where are u going?
梅根? 羅傑 Megan? Roger!
我知道你很困惑 我也有很多要解釋的 I know u're confused, and I've got a lot to explain.
但我這輩子第一次 But for the first time in my life,
清楚知道自己是誰 想要什麼 I know exactly who I am and what I want,
並且不怕說出來 and I'm not afraid to say it.
羅傑 我覺得你 Roger, I think u are...
棒極了 Amazing.
可真老套 That's pretty corny.
羅傑 你去哪兒啊 Roger! Where do u think u're going?
上車來 我是個好孩子 爸爸 Get back in the car. I'm a good kid, dad.
你得放開我 You got to let me go.
她有直升機駕照嗎? Does she even have a helicopter license?
不用等門了 Don't wait up.
羅傑 Roger!
青春期是一段迷茫的歲月 Adolescence is a confusing time.
我們能活下來真是奇跡了 It's a wonder any of us make it out alive.
安全帶 羅傑 安全帶和保險套 Seatbelts, Roger! Seatbelts and Condoms!
如果到那一步的話 If that comes up.
要是沒有 就別拿出來 If it doesn't come up, don't bring it up.
現在看來 哈德曼是對的 In the end, hardman was right.
感情是很危險 Attachments are dangerous.
意味著你在乎某樣東西 They mean u care about something.
但我們在乎的人 But the people we care about
是活著的意義所在 are what make life worth living.
活在危險裡又怎樣? What's wrong with living dangerously?
查查她申請哪所大學 Find out where she's applying to college.
還有保底學校 Safety schools too.
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