×ÖÄ» - - Coming!
×ÖÄ» Here's your daughter. I'm done with her.
×ÖÄ» Turns out I'm stupid, and I don't get it, and I never will.
×ÖÄ» Wait a minute. When I dropped her off at your house,
×ÖÄ» I was stupid, I don't get it, and I never will.
×ÖÄ» Man, just when you think you're special.
×ÖÄ» You're both horrible, horrible people.
×ÖÄ» Is that an upgrade from stupid?
×ÖÄ» You mind if I check the score of the game?
×ÖÄ» I don't mind, but you might want to bolt.
×ÖÄ» Your ex-girlfriend Lori is in the kitchen.
×ÖÄ» Wait a minute. "No birth control" Lori?
×ÖÄ» That didn't catch on, so she just goes by Lori now.
×ÖÄ» Don't worry about it. We're fine.
×ÖÄ» Even though she thinks psychotherapy is a scam,
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×ÖÄ» I really liked her.
×ÖÄ» So what are you guys up to?
×ÖÄ» We're working on a new business.
×ÖÄ» - Cofftea. - Cofftea?
×ÖÄ» Are you tired of having to decide
×ÖÄ» between having a cup of coffee or a cup of tea?
×ÖÄ» No.
×ÖÄ» I know, I can never decide either.
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×ÖÄ» Just brew-steep up a fresh pot-kettle
×ÖÄ» of coffee-flavored tea and you can have both.
×ÖÄ» How's that sound?
×ÖÄ» Like I'd rather live with painful indecisiveness.
×ÖÄ» Jen, there's a problem.
×ÖÄ» The pot-kettle's acting weird and it isn't brew-steeping.
×ÖÄ» Then you better get back in there before it starts fire-smoking.
×ÖÄ» I knew I shouldn't have listened
×ÖÄ» to that stupid Korean woman at the nail shop.
×ÖÄ» If it's such a sure thing, why is she still scrubbing feet?
×ÖÄ» Hey, Charlie.
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×ÖÄ» Thanks.
×ÖÄ» This is such a weird coincidence.
×ÖÄ» I was just thinking about calling you the other day.
×ÖÄ» But you can't use the phone
×ÖÄ» when the moon is in the second phase of Capricorn?
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×ÖÄ» No, I just didn't like how we left everything.
×ÖÄ» I shouldn't have scared you off
×ÖÄ» by saying I didn't believe in birth control.
×ÖÄ» Oh, don't beat yourself up. There was a lot more to it than that.
×ÖÄ» Uh... Like what?
×ÖÄ» If you won't let me lie, I can't make you feel better.
×ÖÄ» I think I just said that as a defense mechanism
×ÖÄ» because I have a fear of intimacy.
×ÖÄ» Defense mechanism? Fear of intimacy?
×ÖÄ» Sounds like someone is changing their mind about therapy.
×ÖÄ» Well, I did read a "Psychology Today"
×ÖÄ» while I was waiting to be fitted for my new diaphragm.
×ÖÄ» Fitted? I thought those things were just kind of off the rack.
×ÖÄ» Aw, Mr. Goodson, you have so much to learn.
×ÖÄ» How about I come over Wednesday
×ÖÄ» and give you some private tutoring?
×ÖÄ» You mean sex, right?
×ÖÄ» 'Cause the last time a woman offered me private tutoring,
×ÖÄ» there was a huge misunderstanding.
×ÖÄ» I wound up learning calculus.
Ó²×ÖÄ»
×ÖÄ» It's called Coffee.
×ÖÄ» Oh, my God.
×Ö How come Jen never invents...
Ä» oh, my God! There's an aftertaste.
×ÖÄ» You think it's gone... but it's not.
×ÖÄ» That's the tea.
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×ÖÄ» Remember Lori?
×ÖÄ» You mean "The romantic girl of your dreams"
×ÖÄ» "Except she was a lunatic" Lori?
×ÖÄ» Yeah, that didn't catch on. She's just going by Lori now.
×ÖÄ» Her and I are gonna give it another shot.
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×ÖÄ» So it would probably make sense for us to put our thing on hold.
×ÖÄ» Look, I have no problem honoring our agreement
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×ÖÄ» but you've already tried capturing this unicorn,
×ÖÄ» which I'm sure she also believes in, and failed.
×ÖÄ» So why can't you just be happy with our amazing arrangement?
×ÖÄ» I am, but you know that I want more...
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×ÖÄ» Jen, you've got to make a big cup for Kate.
×ÖÄ» She's gonna love it.
×ÖÄ» I've got to start group.
×ÖÄ» - Hey, Kate. - Hey, Jen.
×ÖÄ» No time for Coffee. I'm on my way out.
×ÖÄ» Okay. Oh, hey, don't forget
×ÖÄ» we've still got to do that girls' night out.
×ÖÄ» Just let me know when you're ready.
×ÖÄ» Does this girls' night out involve picking up guys?
×ÖÄ» If it doesn't, I don't know why we're going.
×ÖÄ» Great.
×ÖÄ» Then I'm ready. How about tomorrow?
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×ÖÄ» It's loaded with guys. There's a guitar store down the street
×ÖÄ» and a fire station next door.
×ÖÄ» Good, because I am not looking for anything deep or meaningful.
×ÖÄ» No, if you want deep and meaningful,
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×ÖÄ» Everything's a negotiation, but it's worth it.
×ÖÄ» Sorry I'm late.
×ÖÄ» I had to walk here.
×ÖÄ» Why? I thought you were driving everywhere
×ÖÄ» because you sold advertising space on your car.
×ÖÄ» I was. I just ran out of gas.
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×ÖÄ» Well, Vagisil is really getting their money's worth today.
×ÖÄ» Lacey, anything you'd like to share?
×ÖÄ» Yeah, I'm sick of guys misrepresenting themselves as rich.
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×ÖÄ» But instead of getting stuck in anger,
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×ÖÄ» It's a website for women who want to date rich guys only.
×ÖÄ» For sure.
×ÖÄ» Lacey, you are a horrible
×ÖÄ» judge of character and this isn't going to help.
×ÖÄ» Instead of picking losers in gin-soaked bars,
×ÖÄ» you'll be picking losers in your gin-soaked home.
×ÖÄ» Hey, that is so... true.
×ÖÄ» I just want what everyone else wants...
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×ÖÄ» Patrick: You just don't know what to look for.
×ÖÄ» I bet I can get on that site
×ÖÄ» and I can find you a great guy like that.
×ÖÄ» I'll bet you 100 bucks that I can do it better than you.
×ÖÄ» I don't care nothing about Lacey, but I just like gambling.
×ÖÄ» Oh, please. Like you guys know me better than me.
×ÖÄ» I spend all day thinking about me.
×ÖÄ» You spend, like, what,
×ÖÄ» maybe two or three hours a day thinking about me.
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×ÖÄ» Messes with the average.
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×ÖÄ» About what we need than we are.
×ÖÄ» As soon as I get my Vagisil check,
×ÖÄ» I will pay everybody $20 not to do this.
×ÖÄ» Okay, so here's the plan. I'll give each of you my password,
×ÖÄ» you pretend you're me, and whoever picks the best catch wins.
×ÖÄ» Remember, guys,