×ÖÄ» # Do you want your man or not? #
×ÖÄ» # Do you know your plans or not? #
×ÖÄ» # You gonna go back home or not? #
×ÖÄ» # You gonna claim your throne or not? #
×ÖÄ» # Is you Khaleesi or that other bitch... #
×ÖÄ» # Whose name I don't remember? #
×ÖÄ» - Issa! - Huh?
×ÖÄ» - I'm hungry. Let's go! - Okay!
×ÖÄ» Wait a minute,
×ÖÄ» so you're trying to tell
×ÖÄ» me you went all the way to Daniel's house
×ÖÄ» and nothing happened?
×ÖÄ» Like, at all?
×ÖÄ» - I didn't even go inside. - Hold the fuck up!
×ÖÄ» You got on stage and went
×ÖÄ» all Dej Nope about my broken pussy for nothing?
×ÖÄ» Like, all that drama for zero dick?
×ÖÄ» - Tsk, bitch, you buggin'. - It wasn't for nothing, though.
×ÖÄ» Like, it wasn't even about Daniel.
×ÖÄ» It was about me.
×ÖÄ» Like, I became someone else up there.
×ÖÄ» - Mm. - You know, it was like brave me.
×ÖÄ» It was "No fucks" Me.
×ÖÄ» And I wanna be that person.
×ÖÄ» You used to be that person,
×ÖÄ» all freestyle and drunk in my backseat and shit.
×ÖÄ» So, what, you trying to be a rapper now?
×ÖÄ» No! I just wanna not be scared to do shit anymore.
×ÖÄ» Well, you know what? That sound real cool, real noble,
×ÖÄ» but can you just leave my shit out of it?
×ÖÄ» - You right. - Okay, thank you!
×ÖÄ» And I'm really sorry for saying your pussy's broken.
×ÖÄ» - You know, I was just talking. - No, no, no, shut up.
×ÖÄ» You was right, my pussy is broken
×ÖÄ» and I need to take better care of her.
×ÖÄ» So, I'm gonna get her a tune-up.
×ÖÄ» A tune-up?
×ÖÄ» Like, she needs her oil changed?
×ÖÄ» Like, your pussy gonna pass a smog check or...?
×ÖÄ» Shut the fuck up.
×ÖÄ» - I'ma get her fixed. - How, Sway?
×ÖÄ» I'm making today Molly Maintenance Day.
×ÖÄ» I'ma get my hair done, nails done,
×ÖÄ» everything did.
×ÖÄ» Ooh, like a fancy day!
×ÖÄ» Basically, yeah.
×ÖÄ» If I'm feeling fancy and well taken care of, so will she.
×ÖÄ» - That makes sense. - Right?
×ÖÄ» Yo, Issa, you got Lawrence calling me now.
×ÖÄ» What? Just... just ignore it.
×ÖÄ» Hello, you've reached the voicemail box for...
×ÖÄ» Molly Carter.
×ÖÄ» Please leave a message.
×ÖÄ» Watch him, watch him, now, watch him.
×ÖÄ» - That's what's happening. - Watch him, watch him.
×ÖÄ» Loving 80 right now, man.
×ÖÄ» - Yo, it's Wrence. - Wrence!
×ÖÄ» - About time. - Yo!
×ÖÄ» Hey, who all is there?
×ÖÄ» Oh, Fast Mike and Brandon. Where you at?
×ÖÄ» Man, Pasadena is far as fuck.
×ÖÄ» Nigga, it's only, like, four freeways.
×ÖÄ» - Grab me a Guinness, B. - I got you.
×ÖÄ» Yo, bro,
×ÖÄ» Fast Mike got fat as fuck.
×ÖÄ» I wanna call him Slow Mike,
×ÖÄ» but you know how sensitive that nigga get.
×ÖÄ» Ah.
×ÖÄ» What's good with you, man?
×ÖÄ» Aw, shit is up right now, money.
×ÖÄ» I sold a house to Tiger earlier, man.
×ÖÄ» I was starstruck, tap dancing for his ass and shit.
×ÖÄ» That nigga swole as fuck. Commission was crazy.
×ÖÄ» - Oh, that's cool. - What's up with you, man?
×ÖÄ» How's that new project going, the Whoopty-Whoop?
×ÖÄ» - It's Whoop-Whoop. - What'd I say?
×ÖÄ» Still working on my business plan, man.
×ÖÄ» Plus, you know, there's so many apps out there now,
×ÖÄ» it's hard to break into the market.
×ÖÄ» Am I going too broad, do I need to be more specific?
×ÖÄ» - It's just a lot, you know? - Cool, cool.
×ÖÄ» That's what's up, man. Hey,
×ÖÄ» I'ma be selling you a house soon, fam.
×ÖÄ» - How are you and the old girl? - Issa's cool.
×ÖÄ» She, um...
×ÖÄ» I kind of fucked up her birthday, man.
×ÖÄ» Aw, damn, man, you gotta fix that.
×ÖÄ» But other than that, you good, right?
×ÖÄ» Uh, actually, man,
×ÖÄ» I was calling 'cause I just wanted to...
×ÖÄ» Oh, shit, this motherfucker hit a three, bro.
×ÖÄ» Hey, man, let me finish the rest of this game.
×ÖÄ» I'ma shout at you, all right?
×ÖÄ» Yeah, all right. All right, cool.
×ÖÄ» I can't hear you. I was on the phone, girl.
×ÖÄ» You getting a pedicure?
×ÖÄ» Mm, I probably should.
×ÖÄ» Ooh, girl.
×ÖÄ» Lawrence ever suck your toes?
×ÖÄ» Once, but it made us both uncomfortable.
×ÖÄ» Ugh, he was sucking on your big old man feet?
×ÖÄ» Girl, I tell ya, that nigga is the one.
×ÖÄ» Or someone else might be.
×ÖÄ» What are you talking about?
×ÖÄ» I like Lawrence.
×ÖÄ» Bitch, I love him, but...
×ÖÄ» I mean, maybe I'm not satisfied.
×ÖÄ» You know? Maybe I wanna be dicked down properly.
×ÖÄ» You know? Maybe I wanna be face down,
×ÖÄ» ass up, surrounded by foreign freaks, you know?
×ÖÄ» Maybe I wanna ask a nigga what he wants for breakfast
×ÖÄ» and he replies, "That pussy,"
×ÖÄ» and he's talking about me, girl.
×ÖÄ» - You know? - I can't with you. Mm-mm.
×ÖÄ» You don't know.
×ÖÄ» I'm just saying
×ÖÄ» Lawrence hasn't put it down in a very long time, okay?
×ÖÄ» And maybe I need to get on one of those apps like you, girl.
×ÖÄ» Girl, calm your deprived ass down.
×ÖÄ» You are not about this app life.
×ÖÄ» Try me.
×ÖÄ» Bitch, I'm not gonna sign up. I just wanna see what's out there.
×ÖÄ» All right. You asked for it.
×ÖÄ» Check it, that's OkCupid.
×ÖÄ» It's free, so it's like "Bottom of the barrel" Dudes.
×ÖÄ» Bought a bunch of new movies at the barbershop.
×ÖÄ» Bootleg and chill?
×ÖÄ» Tinder used to be cool,
×ÖÄ» but now it's basically a fuck app.
×ÖÄ» So, what are you in the mood for?
×ÖÄ» We could ditch the menus
×ÖÄ» and have our own dinner for two.
×ÖÄ» Heh, I'll be six, you'll be nine.
×ÖÄ» Hinge at least pulls from your network of friends,
×ÖÄ» but apparently all my friends only know Hotep niggas.
×ÖÄ» Uh-uh, no.
×ÖÄ» I just want a queen that respects herself,
×ÖÄ» who lays off the swine,
×ÖÄ» who stands beside her king like a strong black woman should.
×ÖÄ» - Yeah. - Yeah.
×ÖÄ» But my queen gotta be a freak, too.
×ÖÄ» I fucked that nigga 'cause he was fine.
×ÖÄ» But then he had the nerve to dump me
×ÖÄ» 'cause I told him I never went to the beach till college.
×ÖÄ» Nigga, you sell Obama puzzles at the African marketplace
×ÖÄ» and you gonna judge me?
×ÖÄ» You grew up in LA and you never went to the beach?
×ÖÄ» Okay, Windsor Hills, I was a hood rat.
×ÖÄ» All I knew was Florence and Crenshaw. Whatever, I am still fly.
×ÖÄ» Basically, most of these
×ÖÄ» dudes are not looking for a relationship.
×ÖÄ» - They're just trying to fuck. - Really?
×ÖÄ» Yep.
×ÖÄ» I mean, I just wanna up the quality of dudes that I meet.
×ÖÄ» There's this one app called The League.
×ÖÄ» It's for elite dating.
×ÖÄ» Like, girl, you gotta be a professional just to get in.
×ÖÄ» I mean, I've been on, like, a three-month waiting list.
×ÖÄ» Three months?
×ÖÄ» To meet one nigga?
×ÖÄ» Yeah, this is a lot.
×ÖÄ» You gotta fuck a lot of frogs to get a good frog.
×ÖÄ» That's not the saying. Or any saying.
×ÖÄ» The point is it's a numbers game.
×ÖÄ» Check it, I'm going on a date with this frog tomorrow.
×ÖÄ» - Mm. - He could be different.
×ÖÄ» - You never know. - Mm.
×ÖÄ» So, what we doing next?
×ÖÄ» I gotta get my hair done and then something else.
×ÖÄ» What?
×ÖÄ» It's a "Vagacial" Appointment.
×ÖÄ» It's like a facial for your vagina.
×ÖÄ» - I said everything did. - Mm.
×ÖÄ» I saw it on Draya's Instagram.
×ÖÄ» I mean, you could roll if you want to.
×ÖÄ» Fuck! I guess I'll go home
×ÖÄ» and deal with this motherfucking relationship.
×ÖÄ» You should write Hallmark cards.
×ÖÄ» Bitch, shut up.
×ÖÄ» I'll see you later.
×ÖÄ» Go handle your man, girl.
×ÖÄ» Do you know who you are? You the bossiest bitch.
×ÖÄ» You a grown-ass woman like Solange's sis.
×ÖÄ» You gonna take control like Janet, or lose control like Missy.
×ÖÄ» The decision is yours... boss up or be a pussy.
×ÖÄ» Mm-mm, no.
×ÖÄ» _
×ÖÄ» # If you're reading this, it's your birthday #
×ÖÄ» # We're gonna sip champagne like we... #
×ÖÄ» Thanks, man.
×ÖÄ» Issa.
×ÖÄ» - Lawrence? - Where have you been, huh?
×ÖÄ» - I've been calling you. - Oh, I... I...
×ÖÄ» you know, I had my phone on airplane mode.
×ÖÄ» - What the fuck? - I'm just buying...
×ÖÄ» - You're buying panties? - Why you being all loud?!
×ÖÄ» Why are you buying a six pack?
×ÖÄ» It's cheaper and it's not like it's the cute kind.
×ÖÄ» Wait, are you not coming home?
×ÖÄ» Lawrence, I'm not ready to talk about this right now.
×ÖÄ» No, no, no, no, no.
×ÖÄ» You can't keep ignoring me, Issa. I wanna talk!
×ÖÄ» Lawrence, we are not about
×ÖÄ» to be the black couple fighting in Rite Aid.
×ÖÄ» Okay, listen, I know that this is about your birthday, okay?
×ÖÄ» It's not even about my birthday.
×ÖÄ» - See? You don't even... - I don't even what?
×ÖÄ» I... I can't do this right now.
×ÖÄ» - I'm sorry, I gotta go. - Wait, Is-Issa!
×ÖÄ» Lawrence, wait.
×ÖÄ» Can I get your Rite Aid card for the discount?
×ÖÄ» Come on, man.
×ÖÄ» I men and women.
×ÖÄ» I got two bitches waiting on me outside...
×ÖÄ» and two counts of murder on my head
×ÖÄ» that they know about.
×ÖÄ» And I ain't sorry.
×ÖÄ» Girl, hey! Look at you.
×ÖÄ» Uh, how was your "Vagacial"?
×ÖÄ» This bitch blew bubbles at me. My pussy is still broken.
×ÖÄ» At least I have an icebreaker for my date tomorrow night.
×ÖÄ» But what are you still doing here?
×ÖÄ» I thought Miss No Fucks was going home.
×ÖÄ» Um, can I stay one more night?
×ÖÄ» Flavor Flav said yes already.
×ÖÄ» Issa, what's going on? Why are you avoiding Lawrence?
×ÖÄ» I kissed Daniel.
×ÖÄ» But it was like... it was like...
×ÖÄ» And then it was... and then it was finished.
×ÖÄ» Bitch, I knew it with your old lying ass.
×ÖÄ» Okay, I did not lie,
×ÖÄ» because, technically, I did not go inside or fuck him.
×ÖÄ» That's a sound defense.
×ÖÄ» And I saw Lawrence
×ÖÄ» and, girl, he just doesn't get it.
×ÖÄ» And I don't know what to do and I'm just... I'm tired.
×ÖÄ» Stay as long as you need.
×ÖÄ» Thank you.
×ÖÄ» And just so we're clear, I'm still Miss No Fucks.
×ÖÄ» It's a... it's a whole process. It's a thing, so...
×ÖÄ» Yeah.
×ÖÄ» How's your presentation going?
×ÖÄ» Girl, I got too much on my mind, okay?
×ÖÄ» I am about to just wing this shit "No fucks" Style.
×ÖÄ» And these white people,
×ÖÄ» they're not even gonna know the difference.
×ÖÄ» They're not gonna know!
×ÖÄ» You're so stupid.
×ÖÄ» Oh, can I borrow some clothes for work tomorrow?
×ÖÄ» _
×ÖÄ» Boy, bye. Nope!
×ÖÄ» Um, blazer twins.
×ÖÄ» Look at that.
×ÖÄ» Hey, I'm so glad you came in early.
×ÖÄ» So, about our youth... your youth outreach initiative,
×ÖÄ» um, did you get my email?
×ÖÄ» Oh, no, I had a lot to do this weekend.
×ÖÄ» Well, I don't wanna step on your toes,
×ÖÄ» but I spoke to some of the teachers at Thomas Jefferson
×ÖÄ» and it turns out the students have a high interest in sports.
×ÖÄ» Sports? That's not exactly outside of what they know,
×ÖÄ» and don't you think that's extremely limiting?
×ÖÄ» No, I hear you.
×ÖÄ» That is sadly stereotypical.
×ÖÄ» But to your general point about
×ÖÄ» exposing them to new and untraditional things,
×ÖÄ» what about partnering with USC for sports like lacrosse,
×ÖÄ» water polo, or even real polo?
×ÖÄ» I don't... Culturally speaking, I just...
×ÖÄ» It's crippling for inner city kids
×ÖÄ» to rely solely on sports to achieve success...
×ÖÄ» - you know? - That's true.
×ÖÄ» Well, my other idea was to take them to different neighborhoods
×ÖÄ» and to do a community cleanup.
×ÖÄ» You mean take a bunch of black kids
×ÖÄ» and have them clean up the streets like a chain gang?
×ÖÄ» That's the whitest shit you've ever said!
×ÖÄ» You know, community service is cool,
×ÖÄ» but I think I found my stride.
×ÖÄ» - I've got this. - Okay.
×ÖÄ» - Thank you, though. - Thank you.
×ÖÄ» Guys, I've been doing this a long time,
×ÖÄ» but I still get excited when my staff takes initiative
×ÖÄ» to maximize their impact in the classroom.
×ÖÄ» Issa, Frieda, the floor is yours.
×ÖÄ» Thank you, Joanne.
×ÖÄ» Ahem, so the kids of Thomas Jefferson Middle School
×ÖÄ» are stagnant because they don't know what else is out there.
×ÖÄ» So, my idea is to expose them
×ÖÄ» to the arts around Los Angeles.
×ÖÄ» Which arts?
×ÖÄ» Uh, all of them.
×ÖÄ» Are you referring to, like, visual arts,
×ÖÄ» theatrical arts, or did you really just mean the arts?
×ÖÄ» Um, what I'm asking is, is that it?
×ÖÄ» No, that's... uh-uh, that's not it.
×ÖÄ» Um, if they're interested in painting and sculpture,
×ÖÄ» we can take them to The Broad.
×ÖÄ» If they like music,
×ÖÄ» we can take them to the Hollywood Bowl.
×ÖÄ» There's the Watts Towers...
×ÖÄ» Have you put together a budget on this?
×ÖÄ» - That sounds expensive. - It does, right?
×ÖÄ» No, I was gonna get people excited about it first
×ÖÄ» and then I was gonna take a stab at the budget.
×ÖÄ» A stab?
×ÖÄ» So, you have really no idea how much this is gonna cost at all?
×ÖÄ» This sounds like a whole lot of work for very little benefit.
×ÖÄ» I see where you're going with this,
×ÖÄ» but have you thought about the risk factors,
×ÖÄ» the executions, how is it mission-driven?
×ÖÄ» Uh, the... the mission would be... help.
×ÖÄ» We were also considering a community service component
×ÖÄ» - which I... - Not yet, Frieda.
×ÖÄ» - This is Issa's idea. Let her finish. - Okay.
×ÖÄ» Yeah, no, uh, a community service component
×ÖÄ» could also be included, um...
×ÖÄ» Culturally, I'm just like...
×ÖÄ» Wouldn't they rather go to an African American museum
×ÖÄ» or, like, a Latino museum
×ÖÄ» and just see how much more grateful other generations were?
×ÖÄ» Oh, my God, what about hip-hop Shakespeare?
×ÖÄ» The kids would love "Othello."
×ÖÄ» An interracial romance.
×ÖÄ» Ooh, what about a drum circle?
×ÖÄ» That really helps with aggression.
×ÖÄ» I took an African dance class in high school,
×ÖÄ» so I could do mask work with the kids.
×ÖÄ» We watch "Lemonade"
×ÖÄ» and then we go to Lemonade and we eat.
×ÖÄ» We eat good food that's good for you
×ÖÄ» and we see art.
×ÖÄ» Can I have a few minutes, please?
×ÖÄ» Everyone,
×ÖÄ» let's reconvene at the end of the day.
×ÖÄ» Yes, but when the plaintiff took this job, he signed a waiver
×ÖÄ» that completely indemnifies our client
×ÖÄ» of any and all risks associated with operating heavy machinery.
×ÖÄ» You are so fucking smart.
×ÖÄ» I'll keep reviewing the employment contract.
×ÖÄ» Sorry to interrupt.
×ÖÄ» - Hey. - Molly, good points today.
×ÖÄ» Oh, thank you, 'cause, you know, actually, I was...
×ÖÄ» Diane, I never got a chance
×ÖÄ» to formally congratulate you on your engagement.
×ÖÄ» - Congratulations. - Thank you.
×ÖÄ» Wedding planning is the most stressful.
×ÖÄ» My wife and I went crazy.
×ÖÄ» - Are you going crazy yet? - You know, I am going crazy
×ÖÄ» with all this work we have to do.
×ÖÄ» Oh, my God,
×ÖÄ» I haven't even thought about the wedding yet, you guys.
×ÖÄ» It's, like, only been a few days.
×ÖÄ» - Did you see the ring? - Oh!
×ÖÄ» - Well, there it is. Wow. - It's a princess cut.
×ÖÄ» - That is a diamond. - Look at mine.
×ÖÄ» - Look at that. - Mm-hmm.
×ÖÄ» - Come in. - Hey.
×ÖÄ» Um, so, I'm sorry about the presentation today.
×ÖÄ» - I know you were expecting more. - I was.
×ÖÄ» Um, and I just wanna let you know
×ÖÄ» that I am fully committed to and invested in We Got Y'all.
×ÖÄ» - I've just had a lot... - Let me stop you right there.
×ÖÄ» - You're not. - Um, sorry?
×ÖÄ» I hired you because I saw
×ÖÄ» someone who wanted to make a difference.
×ÖÄ» You seemed passionate at first,
×ÖÄ» but I've noticed you've been on autopilot for a while now.
×ÖÄ» If you don't wanna do the work,
×ÖÄ» if you're no longer invested in what we're trying to do here,
×ÖÄ» maybe this isn't the right place for you.
×ÖÄ» No, it... no, it is!
×ÖÄ» And you're right.
×ÖÄ» I... I wanna be here.
×ÖÄ» And I will do better.
×ÖÄ» The leader who does not take advice
×ÖÄ» is not a leader.
×ÖÄ» That's a proverb from Kenya, date unknown.
×ÖÄ» Okay.
×ÖÄ» _
×ÖÄ» # If you're reading this, it's your birthday #
×ÖÄ» # We're gonna sip champagne like we're thirsty... #
×ÖÄ» - What up, yo? - Nothing, bro. I'm good.
×ÖÄ» # So let's have a toast, it's your birthday #
×ÖÄ» # Birthday, birthday, birthday... #
×ÖÄ» Hey, something up?
×ÖÄ» I ain't seen your girl in a minute. Y'all good?
×ÖÄ» - She leave you for another bitch? - What? No.
×ÖÄ» - No. - Talk to me, blood.
×ÖÄ» Me and Nala was just about to go watch the "Bare Bears."
×ÖÄ» - "Care Bears," Daddy. - Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah.
×ÖÄ» We don't use no C-word, sweetheart.
×ÖÄ» This is a blood house.
×ÖÄ» Are you sure you're "Bool," Man?
×ÖÄ» I've just been messing up.
×ÖÄ» I started this business that didn't pan out.
×ÖÄ» Now I'm watching all my friends just pass me by.
×ÖÄ» It's just been frustrating on all levels.
×ÖÄ» Yeah, a nigga's stuck.
×ÖÄ» Yeah.
×ÖÄ» You ain't working, you ain't providing.
×ÖÄ» Shit, you probably ain't even putting it down.
×ÖÄ» - Man, hey. - Nah, nah, no disrespect.
×ÖÄ» - You love your girl and shit, right? - Yeah, I do.
×ÖÄ» I just... I just don't know how to change things, man.
×ÖÄ» Well, hear me out.
×ÖÄ» I used to be out there fucking bitches,
×ÖÄ» being inconsiderate and shit.
×ÖÄ» But then when I had Nala, I was like,
×ÖÄ» "What if she meet a nigga like me?"
×ÖÄ» I even tried to make it work with her moms,
×ÖÄ» but her moms is a H-O-E.
×ÖÄ» - So F-U-C-K her B-I-T-C-H-A-S-S. - Hey, hey, hey. Hey.
×ÖÄ» Gotta spell fast. She getting so smart.
×ÖÄ» She know her ABBs and shit. That's little Einstein, huh?
×ÖÄ» Daddy's little Einstein.
×ÖÄ» Anyway, bling your shit up, blood.
×ÖÄ» Hey, and if it don't work out, I got bitches.
×ÖÄ» Cool.
×ÖÄ» "Bool."
×ÖÄ» I completely forgot about the surveys these kids did.
×ÖÄ» Yeah, well, they were still in sealed envelopes.
×ÖÄ» The voice of the children. You believe this? It's so telling.
×ÖÄ» And you were right, they did mostly list
×ÖÄ» basketball and football in their interests.
×ÖÄ» Mostly spelled wrong, but still.
×ÖÄ» They wanna be part of a team.
×ÖÄ» Or they wanna take it out the hood. Look at this question...
×ÖÄ» "What is something you'd like We Got Y'all to do next year?"
×ÖÄ» - This is sad. - "Take us to the Crenshaw mall."
×ÖÄ» "Go to Benihana's."
×ÖÄ» "Dave & Buster's."
×ÖÄ» "Stand in line for Jordans."
×ÖÄ» These kids can't even imagine past the 10 freeway.
×ÖÄ» No, I'm not... I'm not laughing at...
×ÖÄ» - That's... that's sad. - It's sad.
×ÖÄ» No, my friend grew up around here
×ÖÄ» and she was talking about how she never went to the beach
×ÖÄ» - until college. - No way.
×ÖÄ» - Is she okay? - Yeah, she's fine.
×ÖÄ» - She's a lawyer, but... - Okay.
×ÖÄ» I don't know,
×ÖÄ» what if we just took these kids to the beach to start?
×ÖÄ» You know, we could even do your service idea and make it a...
×ÖÄ» Beach cleanup.
×ÖÄ» Word twins.
×ÖÄ» Hello.
×ÖÄ» - It's becoming our thing. - Mm-mm.
×ÖÄ» No, no, no, look,
×ÖÄ» hands down, the worst dating experience I've had...
×ÖÄ» - Coffee Meets Bagel. - Wait, worse than OkCupid?
×ÖÄ» Listen, I've never had so many women eyeing my shoe size
×ÖÄ» and asking me, "So, are the rumors true?"
×ÖÄ» - Wait, about your...? - Uh-huh.
×ÖÄ» Yep, white girls have no shame.
×ÖÄ» Oh, so you mostly date white girls?
×ÖÄ» Not at all. I just went through this period
×ÖÄ» - where black women weren't feeling me. - Now I know you lying.
×ÖÄ» No, no, no, listen, you're the first black woman
×ÖÄ» who's responded to me in a minute.
×ÖÄ» - I don't know what it is. - Really?
×ÖÄ» Really.
×ÖÄ» Wow.
×ÖÄ» You two, okay?
×ÖÄ» You want some more wine or are you in a rush?
×ÖÄ» Sure, no rush here.
×ÖÄ» Can we have your Argentinian Malbec?
×ÖÄ» - Okay. - Thanks, man. You're gonna like this.
×ÖÄ» - Oh, am I? - Oh, yeah, yeah.
×ÖÄ» Am I gonna like it like I like your chicken?
×ÖÄ» Uh, I mean, you know...
×ÖÄ» - I mean, just a taste! - You got pasta.
×ÖÄ» - This was fun. - Yeah!
×ÖÄ» You wanna grab some coffee?
×ÖÄ» Uh, definitely.
×ÖÄ» You trying to fuck, though?
×ÖÄ» - You motherfucker. - All right.
×ÖÄ» You think that just 'cause you know some fancy wine-speak,
×ÖÄ» I'm just supposed to let you take me home?
×ÖÄ» What, three glasses of Spanish wine means we fuck?
×ÖÄ» Malbec's Argentinian, but...
×ÖÄ» I spent all this time trying to make sure that my pussy is fixed,
×ÖÄ» but it turns out you are
×ÖÄ» just like every other single asshole out here.
×ÖÄ» I didn't break my pussy, niggas like you broke my pussy.
×ÖÄ» _
×ÖÄ» So, I'm home.
×ÖÄ» You still the same nigga?
×ÖÄ» "Yep, but who else you gonna be with?"
×ÖÄ» Oh, I got options, nigga. I got options.
×ÖÄ» "So, you ready to talk now?"
×ÖÄ» You ready to man-up now? Ha!
×ÖÄ» You wasn't expecting that, huh? That was good.
×ÖÄ» That's, like, pow.
×ÖÄ» "What's my mama gonna say about us breaking up?"
×ÖÄ» I don't give a shit about your mama, nigga!
×ÖÄ» She's really nice.
×ÖÄ» "Where'd you put all my shit?" In a box to the left.
×ÖÄ» It's like a jungle sometimes, nigga.
×ÖÄ» "So, you know I'm gonna take all my DVDs."
×ÖÄ» Don't nobody want your Steve Harvey box set.
×ÖÄ» "You know I'm still working on my business plan."
×ÖÄ» I got a plan... start the business.
×ÖÄ» Nigga, how 'bout that?
×ÖÄ» "Bitch you know I love you." I love you, too.
×ÖÄ» Hey, broken pussy!
×ÖÄ» Jared.
×ÖÄ» - Right, right. - What's up?
×ÖÄ» You got... you got a little...
×ÖÄ» something all over your face.
×ÖÄ» Okay, so you got jokes.
×ÖÄ» Somebody runs out of a club and don't say good-bye.
×ÖÄ» Yeah.
×ÖÄ» - Uh, who is this? - That's Flavor Flav.
×ÖÄ» Oh, you should get a Doberman and name him Chuck D.
×ÖÄ» - Thank you. - Real clever.
×ÖÄ» I tried. Did a little something.
×ÖÄ» Got an interview with a headhunter tomorrow.
×ÖÄ» That's great.
×ÖÄ» I shouldn't have ignored you today.
×ÖÄ» Thug Yoda spelled an entire sentence today.
×ÖÄ» For real?
×ÖÄ» That's "Brazy."