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字幕製作：passinggod

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我叫陳偉文，是一個作家

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「隋處摸」是我的筆名

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沒錯

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其實我只是在報紙的風月版寫情色小說

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但我經常都安慰自己

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其實我的小說一點都不容易寫

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譬如說，明明是女人的乳房

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就要寫作「水蜜桃」

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女人的性器官，就寫作「水簾洞」

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她是我女朋友，她也是一個作家

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不過她就是大名鼎鼎

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暢銷文藝愛情小說家席夢絲

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幾年前她那本肉麻當純情的小說…

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《想著你抱著他愛著誰》賣到翻印十幾版

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比得上香港地圖

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之後她現在一行字的稿費

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比我寫足一晚還多

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你看看她，多優雅，多端莊

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其實她私底下，有不為人知的一面…

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大力點

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大力點

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大力點…

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左轉呀

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等一下，怎麼左轉呀？

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就像開車那樣呀？

27
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怎麼你這麼笨！

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每次都要我提你！這樣呀！

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你記得嗎？我教了你很多次，是這樣呀！

30
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好痛呀！

31
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我正不正？

32
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正！

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看著我

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看著我

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幹嘛這麼大力呀？

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進去點

37
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進這麼深幹嘛？

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我快要到了，我們一起吧！

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來了

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到了

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已經到了

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你剛剛射的時候，好像沒叫？

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有，怎會沒有？

44
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我在叫，嘩，到了，這樣呀

45
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都沒看到你反白眼的？

46
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有反，全反了

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全白了

48
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瞎子一樣

49
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真的？

50
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真！

51
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再來一炮，馬上！

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又來？

53
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就是這樣

54
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我對做愛就產生了莫名奇妙的恐懼

55
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梁景，別催啦

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就差結尾，很快，結尾了…

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以後不用寫？

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風月版怎可以說停就停？

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你知不知道全香港每天有多少男人

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都靠我那幾百字來做下體運動呀？

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其實有沒有想過把我轉到體育版去呢？

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我推薦你…

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現在上網什麼都有得看

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風月版沒得做啦，我給轉到宗教版去

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昨天才說完馬太福音，今天要說阿彌陀佛

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阿彌陀佛好呀！

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老袁，我們好慘啊…

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知道了，風月版給裁了嘛

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我這裏也撐不了多久了

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唉，簡直是世風日下！

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萬料不到，色情事業都有衰落的一天呀

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就說你吧

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在這兒賣盜版，就是賊嘛

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現在賊都沒得做

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你說香港還不死嗎？這城市正垂死中！

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你錯了

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這城市已經死了

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不過我覺得呢，色情事業是永垂不朽的

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你想想，人類的來源是什麼？

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就是好色嘛！

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如果人不好色，哪還有人類？

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一定有得做的！

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對…可是現在上網免費任看

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哪有人買呀？

85
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免費也要有內容呀

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明不明白？內容呀！

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不明白

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香港，勝在有「居者有其屋」

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色片

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沒理由色者沒其片的！

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我們叫團友每人投幾萬

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集資去投資拍AV

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那當上投資者

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那我們想拍啥，就拍啥囉！

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那些團友又可以去看AV的拍攝過程

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我們三個拿著版權

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能賣多少錢，我們三個分了它

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可是拍AV好像不便宜吧？

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那可不是呀！

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我問過了，拍一部AV…，拍一部AV…

101
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幾萬可以，幾十萬也可以

102
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豐儉由人呀

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不就是嗎！拍戲的事很靈活的嘛

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你想想

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參加那些蔡瀾美食團也要幾萬塊呀

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說不定他還把東西全吃光呢！

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一定很多人參加的！

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真的可以考慮

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我有個朋友，在日本專門寄AV給我盜版

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找她安排

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拍完以後再賣給日本人也行

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那就行了，她要一半，我們三個要一半

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說著說著好像真的成事了！

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有噱頭，我也有興趣呀

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你是誰呀？

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我來買A片的

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幾萬塊去見識見識

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我想我很多朋友也有興趣

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聽到沒有，馬上有第一個客人了！

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如果我們這次做得好的話，長做長有呀！

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那馬上去搞啦！已經未出發先興奮了

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我說起來都有一點硬了

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這張好呀！

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那張《淫蕩人妻》，給我一張嘛

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媽的！買你妹呀！上網下載啦！

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相聲呀！

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相聲？　　　他寫著趙本山

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那些內地人真紅　　　這邊…

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對了，幫我們安排

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拍AV那女的是什麼人？

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本身是香港人，但是在日本住了很久了

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她一直幫我買些日本新出的A片

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寄回香港給我盜版

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這回她出了不力的

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前面蹲著的那個就是她

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鳩山！

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到了…

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旺中帶靜呢，上了這條樓梯…

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這裏也蠻神秘的嘛

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那和我們來的目的一樣

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我有一種不祥的預感

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你的

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你的

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你的

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你的

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你的…

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這些是…你們的

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我待會就帶你們去看看充滿特色的房間

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包管你們會有「嘩」一聲的感覺

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嘩…

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是不是真媽的「嘩」呢？

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這裏最特別是可以橫著進橫著出

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他媽的特別呢

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這裏跟殮房沒差多少呀！

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那可不一樣！

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殮房要人拉你出來，這裏不用唷

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我終於知道這個世上

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有地方比住地下房更慘！

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房間那麼小，怎麼住呀？

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你把它當儲物櫃…

161
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那就他媽的大呢！

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什麼鳩？

163
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鳩山初代子

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代子小姐是吧？

165
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你也有你的道理

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我們應該凡事向好的方向看

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難道我們專程過來是住五星級酒店嗎？

168
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沒錯！

169
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我們的錢，應該花在值得花的地方

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說得對

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我們的精力，都應該出在最應該出的地方

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真麻煩你呀，鳩小姐！

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不用客氣！

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初代是…你名字？

175
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還是興趣呢？

176
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是我媽媽改的！

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你老媽喜歡初代…　　　是呀！

178
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靠，我們會不會被騙了？

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靠！我現在啥都不怕

180
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我最怕那個初代子，兼任AV女主角而已

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那我真的好怕喔

182
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不會那麼無良的，我跟她說明…

183
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要大胸，又出名的AV女優的

184
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其實，你們會不會太悲觀呢？

185
00:09:53,468 --> 00:09:55,174
整天覺得人家要騙我們似的

186
00:09:55,470 --> 00:09:56,630
那應該怎麼樣？

187
00:09:56,930 --> 00:10:00,548
你想想，我們看了幾十年AV

188
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做了幾十年男人，打了幾千次飛機

189
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可是明天

190
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是真真正正第一次接觸到真正的AV女優

191
00:10:09,150 --> 00:10:11,186
拍屬於自己的AV

192
00:10:12,487 --> 00:10:14,148
為了迎接這個神聖的一刻

193
00:10:14,322 --> 00:10:17,234
我們是不是應該一起齋戒沐浴呢？

194
00:10:17,700 --> 00:10:19,656
齋戒沐浴？

195
00:10:48,356 --> 00:10:50,517
其實，下雨也不錯呀！

196
00:10:50,733 --> 00:10:52,598
明天更大乳呀…

197
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你又知道？

198
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那些女優好大乳的嘛…

199
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希望在明天嘛

200
00:11:23,975 --> 00:11:24,760
各位團友

201
00:11:24,934 --> 00:11:27,220
這裏就是無數AV的勝地

202
00:11:27,812 --> 00:11:29,552
這裏是一個復合片場

203
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看，那邊就有一個診所

204
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整天在拍《淫賤女護士》的

205
00:11:35,111 --> 00:11:36,226
這邊就是課室

206
00:11:36,404 --> 00:11:37,985
拍《純情學生妹》

207
00:11:38,239 --> 00:11:39,319
是不是他媽的「嘩」呢？

208
00:11:39,490 --> 00:11:41,902
嘩…

209
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喂喂！

210
00:11:42,911 --> 00:11:44,822
這張床呀，不就是經常拍AV那張？

211
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幫我拍照…

212
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我操你…

213
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我操你…

214
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別去呀！

215
00:11:53,546 --> 00:11:55,036
你真是有眼光呢

216
00:11:55,215 --> 00:11:57,957
這裏是不少AV男優出精的地方

217
00:11:58,134 --> 00:11:58,919
出在哪裏呢？

218
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通常出在那裏！

219
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如果用紫外光燈一照

220
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整張床會發光的呢！

221
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聽見沒有

222
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早晨，大家好！

223
00:12:09,145 --> 00:12:10,931
這位是導演，不用理他的

224
00:12:11,105 --> 00:12:14,017
那…就隨便掃墓那樣鞠個躬就走啦

225
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請多多指教！

226
00:12:18,988 --> 00:12:20,603
大家好

227
00:12:20,949 --> 00:12:22,780
這是辰巳唯小姐

228
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大家好，我是辰巳唯

229
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請多多指教

230
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辰巳唯，F Cup，前賽車女郎

231
00:12:38,132 --> 00:12:39,872
綽號賽車皇后！

232
00:12:40,093 --> 00:12:41,458
開心是好的

233
00:12:41,636 --> 00:12:43,467
但是大家還傻逼的不開始

234
00:12:43,638 --> 00:12:45,128
就拍不完了

235
00:12:51,229 --> 00:12:52,639
原來也蠻悶的喔

236
00:12:52,814 --> 00:12:54,805
對呀，還不是那幾招

237
00:12:55,191 --> 00:12:56,180
停！

238
00:12:56,359 --> 00:12:57,769
鳩山，幫我翻譯

239
00:12:57,944 --> 00:12:58,182
是

240
00:12:58,361 --> 00:12:59,146
我就這麼覺得呀

241
00:12:59,320 --> 00:13:01,151
這位男優剛做的都太一般了

242
00:13:01,447 --> 00:13:03,688
完全能猜到男主角怎麼做

243
00:13:03,866 --> 00:13:05,072
現在我們作主嘛

244
00:13:05,243 --> 00:13:08,201
我認為呢，一來就進主題，出絕招吧！

245
00:13:08,371 --> 00:13:09,486
好呀！　　　絕招？啥絕招呀？

246
00:13:09,664 --> 00:13:11,825
試試人肉…

247
00:13:12,083 --> 00:13:13,072
直升機！

248
00:13:13,835 --> 00:13:15,041
不好意思

249
00:13:15,211 --> 00:13:18,374
直升機…

250
00:13:19,173 --> 00:13:22,131
不懂這招？沒關係啦，那試試那個…

251
00:13:22,302 --> 00:13:23,257
鐵雞斗蜈蚣！

252
00:13:23,428 --> 00:13:24,668
這招好呀！

253
00:13:27,890 --> 00:13:29,676
說什麼也好，都不可以

254
00:13:29,851 --> 00:13:32,263
又不懂？這麼遜！

255
00:13:32,437 --> 00:13:34,894
那簡單一點，人肉打樁機！

256
00:13:35,356 --> 00:13:37,517
等等，發生什麼事？

257
00:13:38,192 --> 00:13:39,932
怎麼樣，這樣就做不下去了

258
00:13:40,111 --> 00:13:42,818
我都明白　　　那就繼續吧

259
00:13:43,281 --> 00:13:45,943
他們是投資者，照你意思做吧

260
00:13:46,743 --> 00:13:48,950
他們說做愛要循序漸進呢

261
00:13:49,162 --> 00:13:51,699
不是吧！還要循序漸進？

262
00:13:51,873 --> 00:13:53,363
看了幾十年都是這樣子

263
00:13:53,541 --> 00:13:55,748
你們AV界要突破呀，對不對？

264
00:13:55,918 --> 00:13:58,625
依我說呢，我們應該這樣做，對不對？

265
00:13:58,796 --> 00:14:00,707
他說…

266
00:14:01,215 --> 00:14:02,921
你看不起我呀

267
00:14:03,092 --> 00:14:04,832
你們根本不懂AV，不閉嘴就給我滾

268
00:14:05,011 --> 00:14:07,627
什麼不懂AV呀？我們全都是專業觀眾！

269
00:14:07,805 --> 00:14:09,545
神經病，看了幾十年盜版AV

270
00:14:09,724 --> 00:14:11,885
我們不專業？你拍了多少年AV?

271
00:14:12,060 --> 00:14:13,095
你閉嘴！　　　我好怕喔我

272
00:14:13,269 --> 00:14:14,634
你不停在這裏說三道四，有種跟我說日語

273
00:14:14,812 --> 00:14:15,597
你有沒有專業道德呀？

274
00:14:15,772 --> 00:14:18,855
你們自己拍下去，我不拍了！

275
00:14:19,025 --> 00:14:21,266
神經病，這就跑了那麼不專業

276
00:14:21,444 --> 00:14:22,058
還有道德嗎？

277
00:14:22,236 --> 00:14:23,225
那怎麼辦？

278
00:14:23,988 --> 00:14:25,068
跑掉了呢！

279
00:14:25,239 --> 00:14:26,319
換另一個男優囉

280
00:14:26,491 --> 00:14:28,072
我跟你們說

281
00:14:28,242 --> 00:14:29,732
我只是中間人

282
00:14:30,161 --> 00:14:32,447
這片子的版權已經賣了

283
00:14:32,622 --> 00:14:35,079
如果交不出片子，你們要賠錢給我的

284
00:14:35,249 --> 00:14:36,705
什麼？這麼嚴重？

285
00:14:37,251 --> 00:14:38,832
你不做漢奸真浪費了你

286
00:14:39,170 --> 00:14:40,410
你怎知她不是？

287
00:14:40,588 --> 00:14:43,455
不如你們其中一個拍吧

288
00:14:43,758 --> 00:14:46,795
她問你們可不可以派個人出來代拍？

289
00:14:47,261 --> 00:14:49,798
這次真便宜了你們

290
00:14:49,972 --> 00:14:51,678
有得看，有得干

291
00:14:51,891 --> 00:14:52,971
爽死你們唷！

292
00:14:53,142 --> 00:14:54,552
神經！

293
00:14:54,894 --> 00:14:57,226
你去拍吧！神經病！

294
00:14:57,772 --> 00:15:00,309
你去吧！直升機呀你！

295
00:15:00,483 --> 00:15:02,769
別鬧了，快找人來呀

296
00:15:04,112 --> 00:15:05,943
梁景，我真是很替你高興

297
00:15:06,114 --> 00:15:07,103
我也想不到自己…

298
00:15:07,281 --> 00:15:09,488
帶你來日本，還關照你這麼好的差事

299
00:15:09,659 --> 00:15:11,991
事不宜遲，我馬上去替你買紅牛和安全套

300
00:15:12,161 --> 00:15:13,276
慢著…

301
00:15:13,621 --> 00:15:15,202
其實我真他媽的不行呀

302
00:15:15,456 --> 00:15:16,320
操你媽呀！

303
00:15:16,499 --> 00:15:18,831
剛才又說這又說那的，又什麼直升機

304
00:15:19,001 --> 00:15:20,332
我也很想幹呀

305
00:15:20,503 --> 00:15:22,118
但無奈我大腿內側有塊胎記

306
00:15:22,296 --> 00:15:23,126
很容易被認出的！

307
00:15:23,297 --> 00:15:24,912
靠，胎記這東西都長差不多形狀啦

308
00:15:25,091 --> 00:15:25,329
不就是！

309
00:15:25,508 --> 00:15:28,090
真的很奇怪的，長的跟米老鼠一樣的

310
00:15:28,302 --> 00:15:29,963
一進鏡頭，給人家告我侵權不就更糟？

311
00:15:30,138 --> 00:15:30,968
你還真多藉口的

312
00:15:31,139 --> 00:15:32,049
不…

313
00:15:32,223 --> 00:15:33,963
他不就行了
！你啊！

314
00:15:34,475 --> 00:15:35,430
你怎麼看？

315
00:15:35,852 --> 00:15:36,967
我不行呀

316
00:15:37,186 --> 00:15:38,426
為什麼不行

317
00:15:38,980 --> 00:15:40,311
我內彎

318
00:15:41,607 --> 00:15:42,847
啥米內彎？

319
00:15:44,944 --> 00:15:45,603
有沒有見過

320
00:15:45,778 --> 00:15:46,858
開運竹？

321
00:15:52,493 --> 00:15:53,403
喂！阿達！

322
00:15:53,578 --> 00:15:55,489
你平常那麼好色，你來吧！

323
00:15:55,663 --> 00:15:58,029
對不起，我今天真的要跟大家坦白

324
00:15:58,207 --> 00:15:59,868
其實我是一個拉子

325
00:16:00,042 --> 00:16:02,283
所以那天洗澡，我沒脫內褲

326
00:16:02,462 --> 00:16:04,248
去你媽的，不是吧？!

327
00:16:04,422 --> 00:16:06,208
難怪你有胸！

328
00:16:06,382 --> 00:16:08,498
你們再不找人搞定他，找人砍死你們呀！

329
00:16:08,676 --> 00:16:09,586
操你媽的！

330
00:16:09,760 --> 00:16:11,216
喂！不要呀！

331
00:16:11,637 --> 00:16:13,502
日本的黑社會很兇的

332
00:16:13,681 --> 00:16:15,888
我認識一個人呀，買錯了香煙而已…

333
00:16:16,058 --> 00:16:17,093
給人砍了左手尾指呀！

334
00:16:17,268 --> 00:16:18,849
那現在怎麼辦呀？

335
00:16:20,688 --> 00:16:22,178
你們聽我說一句

336
00:16:23,357 --> 00:16:25,018
我們身為一個中國人

337
00:16:25,693 --> 00:16:27,354
難得有機會來到日本

338
00:16:27,653 --> 00:16:30,019
可以合情合理的

339
00:16:30,198 --> 00:16:32,530
用身體來懲罰一個日本妹

340
00:16:32,742 --> 00:16:35,279
你不要問國家為你們做了些什麼

341
00:16:35,703 --> 00:16:36,863
我們問自己

342
00:16:37,079 --> 00:16:40,537
曾幾何時為國家付出一分力！

343
00:16:41,501 --> 00:16:42,536
沒錯！

344
00:16:43,461 --> 00:16:44,997
我們要證明給日本妹知道

345
00:16:45,338 --> 00:16:47,169
我們中國人不是東亞病夫！

346
00:16:47,340 --> 00:16:49,797
釣魚台是我們的！　　　釣魚台是我們的！

347
00:16:49,967 --> 00:16:51,753
沒錯！辰巳唯也是我們的！

348
00:16:51,928 --> 00:16:56,922
我們的…

349
00:16:57,099 --> 00:16:58,179
好！

350
00:16:59,310 --> 00:17:00,766
我很開心

351
00:17:01,062 --> 00:17:02,643
看來大家都已經有答案了

352
00:17:03,064 --> 00:17:05,851
那請問，哪位想成為今晚的幸運兒呢？

353
00:17:06,192 --> 00:17:07,272
你！

354
00:17:08,110 --> 00:17:10,021
靠，傻豬呀！

355
00:17:14,825 --> 00:17:15,905
你好

356
00:17:16,911 --> 00:17:17,570
你好

357
00:17:17,745 --> 00:17:18,530
是

358
00:17:23,751 --> 00:17:24,365
謝謝

359
00:17:24,544 --> 00:17:25,579
是

360
00:17:28,130 --> 00:17:29,745
快脫她衣服呀，你媽的！

361
00:17:30,383 --> 00:17:31,748
脫啦，現在不就脫啦！

362
00:17:44,689 --> 00:17:45,929
快點啦，熬湯呀？

363
00:17:46,107 --> 00:17:47,438
你來呀！

364
00:17:50,278 --> 00:17:51,609
不好意思

365
00:18:01,455 --> 00:18:03,946
不要呀！不要呀！
不要…

366
00:18:04,125 --> 00:18:05,331
沒關係

367
00:18:09,755 --> 00:18:11,040
不要呀！

368
00:18:17,305 --> 00:18:18,340
不要呀！

369
00:18:18,514 --> 00:18:19,629
不要呀！

370
00:18:19,807 --> 00:18:21,217
你放我走吧好不好

371
00:18:21,392 --> 00:18:22,552
我賠錢給你吧！

372
00:18:24,562 --> 00:18:29,147
脫衣服…

373
00:18:29,317 --> 00:18:31,433
脫褲子…

374
00:18:31,611 --> 00:18:32,896
不要呀…

375
00:18:33,070 --> 00:18:34,310
不要呀…

376
00:18:35,865 --> 00:18:36,945
不要呀…

377
00:18:47,627 --> 00:18:49,458
進去了！

378
00:19:03,267 --> 00:19:05,007
又進去了！

379
00:19:07,688 --> 00:19:08,598
啥東西？

380
00:19:08,773 --> 00:19:09,728
潮吹唷！

381
00:19:54,443 --> 00:19:56,399
你們很壞的

382
00:19:56,612 --> 00:19:59,228
要人家拍這些東西

383
00:20:02,326 --> 00:20:08,572
他好可愛，好搞笑呢

384
00:20:11,377 --> 00:20:13,459
未遇上小澤之前

385
00:20:14,547 --> 00:20:18,756
我從來都不知道女人可以做主動

386
00:20:21,345 --> 00:20:27,807
非常開心，但是又有點激動

387
00:20:36,193 --> 00:20:37,854
我覺得你在這戲裏面

388
00:20:38,070 --> 00:20:39,230
真是好慘呀

389
00:20:39,447 --> 00:20:41,358
我看得淚汪汪呢

390
00:20:43,492 --> 00:20:46,074
你覺得可不可以多打點馬賽克？

391
00:20:46,245 --> 00:20:46,950
不好意思

392
00:20:47,121 --> 00:20:48,110
是！

393
00:20:48,289 --> 00:20:50,951
那個…打馬賽克，可以嗎？

394
00:20:51,584 --> 00:20:52,289
好的好的，可以

395
00:20:52,460 --> 00:20:53,950
謝謝你

396
00:20:56,964 --> 00:20:58,374
喂！老兄呀！

397
00:20:58,632 --> 00:21:00,122
你不是這樣吧，那馬賽克…

398
00:21:00,301 --> 00:21:02,838
比牛油紙還薄呢，打厚一點行不行？

399
00:21:03,012 --> 00:21:05,253
還有你不要只打在我那話兒

400
00:21:05,473 --> 00:21:07,054
臉孔也要打，打在臉上

401
00:21:07,224 --> 00:21:08,304
不對…

402
00:21:08,476 --> 00:21:10,216
整張臉…整個人全打了

403
00:21:10,394 --> 00:21:12,476
這樣…好的，好的

404
00:21:13,439 --> 00:21:15,805
也不對，整個畫面全打了

405
00:21:23,115 --> 00:21:24,821
你真媽的不用擔心

406
00:21:24,992 --> 00:21:26,152
你摘下眼鏡

407
00:21:26,327 --> 00:21:27,783
沒人認得你的

408
00:21:28,162 --> 00:21:29,652
你試試摘下眼鏡

409
00:21:32,166 --> 00:21:33,372
你是誰呀？

410
00:21:33,542 --> 00:21:36,579
你別這樣啦，你真的以為我是低能呀？

411
00:21:39,673 --> 00:21:41,038
我最初以為…

412
00:21:41,675 --> 00:21:44,508
女人脫衣服真的很大壓力

413
00:21:45,304 --> 00:21:48,296
但是原來男人脫衣服更大壓力

414
00:21:50,100 --> 00:21:51,806
算了，別說我了

415
00:21:52,186 --> 00:21:53,346
對了，老袁說你呢

416
00:21:53,521 --> 00:21:54,852
是香港過來的

417
00:21:55,898 --> 00:21:57,354
你沒理由沒中文名字吧

418
00:21:57,525 --> 00:21:59,061
難道你真的姓鳩？

419
00:22:00,778 --> 00:22:02,063
這麼久了

420
00:22:02,279 --> 00:22:03,860
他媽的忘記了

421
00:22:06,700 --> 00:22:07,860
就是說…

422
00:22:08,118 --> 00:22:09,858
有不可告人的秘密了

423
00:22:11,956 --> 00:22:13,617
其實我留在日本

424
00:22:13,791 --> 00:22:17,079
是有一個他媽浪漫的原因呢

425
00:22:17,711 --> 00:22:19,201
我在等一個人

426
00:22:20,464 --> 00:22:21,704
你不問我在等誰？

427
00:22:21,882 --> 00:22:22,587
沒有，我就不問

428
00:22:22,758 --> 00:22:24,214
讓你無法說下去嘛

429
00:22:44,738 --> 00:22:46,820
我覺得好像發了一場夢一樣

430
00:22:47,199 --> 00:22:50,066
我以為我的人生從此就跟AV畫上句號

431
00:22:50,452 --> 00:22:51,532
殊不知

432
00:22:51,829 --> 00:22:54,070
原來只是剛剛開始

433
00:23:21,108 --> 00:23:23,269
「Sex Pistols」吧

434
00:23:29,700 --> 00:23:30,155
怎樣啦，阿銘？

435
00:23:30,326 --> 00:23:32,282
陳偉文，你太牛逼啦！

436
00:23:32,453 --> 00:23:34,944
論壇上那條片，全世界都點贊喔！

437
00:23:35,122 --> 00:23:35,952
啥片呀？

438
00:23:36,123 --> 00:23:37,283
還裝蒜？

439
00:23:37,458 --> 00:23:38,243
不是吧？

440
00:23:38,417 --> 00:23:39,372
那條AV片，「無垢男」呀！

441
00:23:39,543 --> 00:23:42,455
現在連結也打不開，大家都在瘋狂轉發？

442
00:23:42,630 --> 00:23:44,461
那女的叫什麼？

443
00:23:44,632 --> 00:23:46,839
辰巳唯？嘩，也蠻正的！

444
00:23:47,009 --> 00:23:48,294
去日本…

445
00:23:49,803 --> 00:23:51,293
親子皇國也有？

446
00:23:51,805 --> 00:23:53,921
那麼多網站都有？

447
00:23:55,643 --> 00:23:57,599
阿姐，那個不是我！

448
00:23:57,853 --> 00:23:59,343
不是喇！

449
00:23:59,521 --> 00:24:01,978
媽，那人不是我呀，媽！

450
00:24:09,698 --> 00:24:10,483
怎麼啦，絲？

451
00:24:10,658 --> 00:24:13,365
陳偉文，你馬上給我打開電視新聞台

452
00:24:13,702 --> 00:24:15,192
為什麼呢？

453
00:24:30,636 --> 00:24:32,627
最近網上流傳一條AV影片

454
00:24:32,805 --> 00:24:34,841
據說男主角，是一個香港人

455
00:24:35,015 --> 00:24:36,346
而影片流出之後

456
00:24:36,517 --> 00:24:38,348
香港網上一天的點擊率

457
00:24:38,519 --> 00:24:39,725
已經破了紀錄

458
00:24:39,895 --> 00:24:42,307
聽說台灣和東南亞都一樣

459
00:24:42,481 --> 00:24:43,846
而最令人意外的是

460
00:24:44,024 --> 00:24:45,013
這段影片

461
00:24:45,192 --> 00:24:47,308
在日本竟然掀起了熱潮

462
00:24:47,486 --> 00:24:49,147
現在讓我們駐日本的記者

463
00:24:49,321 --> 00:24:51,152
文嘉儀為大家報導

464
00:24:53,450 --> 00:24:55,361
自從影片在互聯網傳出

465
00:24:55,536 --> 00:24:57,527
後刮起了一陣旋風

466
00:24:57,705 --> 00:24:59,411
最近日本人氣女性雜誌

467
00:24:59,581 --> 00:25:01,697
讀者票選出最想一夜情的男人

468
00:25:01,875 --> 00:25:05,083
這名香港男子更首度擊敗日本人氣偶像

469
00:25:05,254 --> 00:25:06,494
成為第一名

470
00:25:06,714 --> 00:25:08,830
自從看了這條片之後

471
00:25:09,049 --> 00:25:11,711
我每晚都會夢見他

472
00:25:11,927 --> 00:25:15,886
我老公已經吃我不消了

473
00:25:16,140 --> 00:25:18,051
我覺得他好可愛

474
00:25:18,225 --> 00:25:20,386
以前的AV都是男人粗暴地征服女人

475
00:25:20,561 --> 00:25:22,142
現在角色調轉

476
00:25:22,312 --> 00:25:26,646
我看得很過癮

477
00:25:26,900 --> 00:25:29,937
是因為他將傳統AV的男女角色互換了

478
00:25:30,112 --> 00:25:32,353
令一直覺得被AV輕視的女性

479
00:25:33,073 --> 00:25:37,567
內心的壓抑突然被釋放

480
00:25:37,745 --> 00:25:39,235
據說日本的成人電影公司

481
00:25:39,413 --> 00:25:40,653
最近收到很多電話

482
00:25:40,831 --> 00:25:42,913
大家都很想知道這名男子的真正身份

483
00:25:43,083 --> 00:25:44,994
而網上也有人發起搜索行動

484
00:25:45,169 --> 00:25:47,535
相信這名男子的身份很快會曝光

485
00:25:47,713 --> 00:25:49,874
無視新聞，文嘉儀在東京的報道

486
00:25:56,472 --> 00:25:58,303
對不起，這次真的是意外呀

487
00:25:58,474 --> 00:25:59,589
我以後不敢了

488
00:25:59,767 --> 00:26:02,679
我不是故意的，我是被迫的！

489
00:26:12,196 --> 00:26:13,231
阿絲，你別走呀！

490
00:26:13,405 --> 00:26:15,566
你走，我就死給你看！

491
00:26:36,303 --> 00:26:37,543
等等！

492
00:26:37,721 --> 00:26:39,131
等等！

493
00:26:40,390 --> 00:26:41,379
你認不認得我呀？

494
00:26:41,558 --> 00:26:43,139
我怎麼會不認得你

495
00:26:43,894 --> 00:26:45,304
你就是日本那個鳩山呀

496
00:26:45,479 --> 00:26:48,471
對呀！為啥你要自殺那麼傻逼呢？

497
00:26:49,066 --> 00:26:50,146
對了

498
00:26:50,442 --> 00:26:52,353
為啥我要自殺那麼傻逼呢？

499
00:26:52,736 --> 00:26:54,317
如果我要死…

500
00:26:54,863 --> 00:26:55,727
我都先殺了你呀！

501
00:26:55,906 --> 00:26:56,520
你這混蛋！

502
00:26:56,698 --> 00:26:58,484
那些馬賽克呀，害死我呀！

503
00:26:58,659 --> 00:27:00,320
我現在家破人亡了！

504
00:27:00,494 --> 00:27:02,405
你應該感謝那些馬賽克才對

505
00:27:02,579 --> 00:27:04,115
你現在真火了

506
00:27:04,289 --> 00:27:07,122
全日本的AV公司都在找你呀

507
00:27:07,292 --> 00:27:08,202
他們說你是…

508
00:27:08,377 --> 00:27:10,038
「現象派男優」

509
00:27:10,337 --> 00:27:11,998
是女人看到你都興奮呢

510
00:27:12,506 --> 00:27:13,336
真的？

511
00:27:13,507 --> 00:27:16,544
真的！有沒有說你好像梁朝偉？

512
00:27:19,972 --> 00:27:20,757
其實呢

513
00:27:20,931 --> 00:27:23,388
你在香港，不死也沒啥用了

514
00:27:23,600 --> 00:27:26,012
不如你跟我去日本，賺日圓

515
00:27:26,395 --> 00:27:29,637
全日本的女人都等著看你的身體呢

516
00:27:29,940 --> 00:27:33,182
人總有一死，不如把錢賺了才死呀

517
00:27:34,653 --> 00:27:36,860
真的那麼多人想看我的身體？

518
00:27:37,364 --> 00:27:38,353
是呀

519
00:27:38,740 --> 00:27:40,401
我現在就想看了

520
00:27:42,369 --> 00:27:42,824
可是…

521
00:27:42,995 --> 00:27:43,780
我保證

522
00:27:43,954 --> 00:27:46,661
你會成為全日本系最紅的AV男優

523
00:27:47,207 --> 00:27:49,539
請你接受我的邀請，和我合作

524
00:27:49,710 --> 00:27:51,371
讓我做你經紀人吧！

525
00:27:57,676 --> 00:27:58,256
傳說中香港男子

526
00:27:58,427 --> 00:27:59,542
正式以藝名「小澤馬利奧」…

527
00:27:59,720 --> 00:28:01,836
進軍日本！

528
00:28:02,014 --> 00:28:03,879
馬利奧…

529
00:28:22,910 --> 00:28:25,868
以後在東京呢，你就住這裏了

530
00:28:26,121 --> 00:28:28,032
不是東京的房子很小嗎？

531
00:28:28,207 --> 00:28:29,162
這裏這麼大呀？

532
00:28:29,333 --> 00:28:31,198
你那話兒大嘛

533
00:28:31,793 --> 00:28:32,953
也對喔！

534
00:28:37,591 --> 00:28:38,421
不用收拾啦

535
00:28:38,592 --> 00:28:40,048
我不打飛機的

536
00:28:40,385 --> 00:28:42,091
這些是你的功課

537
00:28:42,387 --> 00:28:44,252
就是說多看多吸收，就做得好點嗎？

538
00:28:44,473 --> 00:28:46,088
對呀！　　　不過也對啊

539
00:28:46,391 --> 00:28:49,428
我想我上次是被迫才做得到

540
00:28:49,978 --> 00:28:51,934
可是呢，那麼多人在現場

541
00:28:52,105 --> 00:28:54,437
自願我真怕自己做不來呀！

542
00:28:54,691 --> 00:28:55,350
不用怕

543
00:28:55,525 --> 00:28:57,891
到時候有很多大師傅在場

544
00:28:59,196 --> 00:29:00,436
不會是你吧？

545
00:29:00,781 --> 00:29:02,271
我不教人的

546
00:29:03,242 --> 00:29:06,279
用力點，就是「摸多」～

547
00:29:06,453 --> 00:29:07,863
「摸多」～

548
00:29:08,038 --> 00:29:10,700
一起來吧，就是「易咕」～

549
00:29:10,874 --> 00:29:12,489
「易咕」～

550
00:29:12,668 --> 00:29:16,001
好舒服呢，就是「奇摸雞」～

551
00:29:16,171 --> 00:29:17,456
「奇摸雞」～

552
00:29:17,631 --> 00:29:18,495
對

553
00:29:19,049 --> 00:29:20,459
可是你三個反應都一樣的？

554
00:29:20,634 --> 00:29:21,999
它們是完全不同的

555
00:29:22,177 --> 00:29:23,633
是嗎？

556
00:29:23,929 --> 00:29:25,794
那你要不要教我一點日文呢？

557
00:29:25,973 --> 00:29:27,964
日本呢，最重要呢

558
00:29:28,141 --> 00:29:29,631
就是「嗨渣拿」

559
00:29:30,143 --> 00:29:31,098
「超那媽」

560
00:29:31,270 --> 00:29:32,100
和「豬-嗨」

561
00:29:32,312 --> 00:29:34,428
「嗨渣拿」就是煙灰盅啦

562
00:29:34,773 --> 00:29:35,808
但「超那媽」是…

563
00:29:35,983 --> 00:29:37,598
「超那媽」是啤酒囉

564
00:29:38,402 --> 00:29:39,266
那誰是「豬-嗨」呀？

565
00:29:39,444 --> 00:29:42,311
「豬-嗨」是燒酒加滾水

566
00:29:43,073 --> 00:29:44,904
「豬-嗨」也有人喝呀？

567
00:29:45,325 --> 00:29:46,815
很受歡迎呢！

568
00:29:47,536 --> 00:29:49,026
在你正式拍AV之前

569
00:29:49,204 --> 00:29:52,321
我安排了你拜一位高人為師，向他學習

570
00:29:52,499 --> 00:29:54,410
增強床上的戰鬥力

571
00:29:58,797 --> 00:30:00,662
加籐鷹神之手？

572
00:30:03,468 --> 00:30:04,503
加籐先生

573
00:30:04,678 --> 00:30:06,214
請你收我為徒

574
00:30:07,723 --> 00:30:09,429
傳授我絕世神功呀！

575
00:30:29,745 --> 00:30:31,531
發生了什麼事呀？

576
00:30:33,665 --> 00:30:34,996
你看看

577
00:30:35,625 --> 00:30:37,616
地上有只蒼蠅…

578
00:30:37,961 --> 00:30:40,043
剛被我搞到潮吹而死

579
00:30:40,380 --> 00:30:42,666
不是吧！

580
00:30:52,601 --> 00:30:54,387
你安息吧！

581
00:31:11,745 --> 00:31:13,656
師傅，你在幹嗎？

582
00:31:17,918 --> 00:31:21,911
離這裏西南偏西20公里的大海已經潮吹

583
00:31:22,214 --> 00:31:23,750
波濤洶湧

584
00:31:24,257 --> 00:31:25,588
真的？

585
00:31:43,485 --> 00:31:43,940
用力點！

586
00:31:44,111 --> 00:31:45,146
是！

587
00:31:54,413 --> 00:31:55,573
快點！

588
00:31:56,081 --> 00:31:57,196
是！

589
00:31:57,666 --> 00:32:00,282
黃昏前挖不到蕃薯，今晚沒飯吃！

590
00:32:00,502 --> 00:32:01,742
是！

591
00:32:02,462 --> 00:32:04,874
趁新鮮喝了它

592
00:32:05,048 --> 00:32:06,288
是

593
00:32:12,639 --> 00:32:14,254
其實我們中國人的傳統

594
00:32:14,433 --> 00:32:16,674
最好的東西都是留給師傅的

595
00:32:19,980 --> 00:32:21,971
很好的傳統

596
00:32:42,252 --> 00:32:43,492
去吧！

597
00:32:44,171 --> 00:32:45,661
小澤馬利奧！

598
00:32:46,339 --> 00:32:48,421
你一定會成功！

599
00:32:49,593 --> 00:32:53,427
為AV開創新的天地啦！

600
00:32:55,932 --> 00:32:57,843
去吧！

601
00:33:12,032 --> 00:33:15,024
這些傢伙奇形怪狀的

602
00:33:15,202 --> 00:33:16,317
也是男優呀？

603
00:33:16,495 --> 00:33:18,577
他們叫做「汁男」

604
00:33:18,747 --> 00:33:20,487
專門替那些男優射精

605
00:33:20,707 --> 00:33:23,824
有時那些男優射不出來，或者早洩

606
00:33:24,002 --> 00:33:25,367
就得靠他們了

607
00:33:25,545 --> 00:33:28,127
拍AV的時候，拍射精近鏡

608
00:33:28,298 --> 00:33:30,880
其實不是那些男優，是他們來的

609
00:33:31,218 --> 00:33:32,082
是這樣喔！

610
00:33:32,260 --> 00:33:35,752
就好像那些武打巨星摔地的鏡頭就找替身

611
00:33:38,141 --> 00:33:40,507
他們射一次，就收一次錢

612
00:33:40,727 --> 00:33:42,433
所以不能軟下來呀

613
00:33:43,313 --> 00:33:45,895
那怎麼知道射了多少次？

614
00:33:46,358 --> 00:33:47,268
他們射一次

615
00:33:47,442 --> 00:33:49,228
手就圈一條橡皮筋

616
00:33:49,402 --> 00:33:50,562
所以他現在也未射

617
00:33:50,737 --> 00:33:51,943
就沒有橡皮筋了

618
00:33:54,199 --> 00:33:55,860
不好意思，不好意思！

619
00:33:59,454 --> 00:34:02,412
兄弟，你想怎樣呀？

620
00:34:02,582 --> 00:34:04,072
不好意思！

621
00:34:05,585 --> 00:34:07,621
這個學名叫「早洩」

622
00:34:12,759 --> 00:34:13,794
在調什麼飲料呀？

623
00:34:13,969 --> 00:34:15,254
讓我們要來補身的？

624
00:34:15,428 --> 00:34:17,168
這些是假精液

625
00:34:17,514 --> 00:34:19,379
他用一點香蕉汁

626
00:34:19,599 --> 00:34:22,432
然後加回練乳，再加三滴咖啡

627
00:34:22,936 --> 00:34:23,766
真他媽的像

628
00:34:23,937 --> 00:34:24,972
要不要試喝一點？

629
00:34:25,146 --> 00:34:26,932
也真的蠻像的，喝就不要了

630
00:34:27,107 --> 00:34:28,688
可是，為啥有汁男

631
00:34:28,858 --> 00:34:30,394
又用假精液呢？

632
00:34:30,610 --> 00:34:33,477
因為有時候要拍AV男優射精

633
00:34:33,655 --> 00:34:36,067
他射不出來，那我們呢…

634
00:34:37,993 --> 00:34:39,108
拿著…

635
00:34:39,411 --> 00:34:41,117
我們就裝一條喉管

636
00:34:41,871 --> 00:34:43,281
就是放在那話兒下面？

637
00:34:43,540 --> 00:34:43,778
對呀！

638
00:34:43,957 --> 00:34:44,616
那怎麼射呢？

639
00:34:44,791 --> 00:34:47,203
有個泵呀，一壓

640
00:34:47,377 --> 00:34:48,287
會射好遠的呢

641
00:34:48,461 --> 00:34:49,746
也真聰明！

642
00:34:49,921 --> 00:34:51,502
難怪我看那些AV女優

643
00:34:51,673 --> 00:34:54,289
有時候口爆、顏射那些

644
00:34:54,467 --> 00:34:55,547
吞得那麼過癮啦

645
00:34:55,719 --> 00:34:57,129
原來有香蕉汁

646
00:34:58,346 --> 00:34:59,802
那個不是麻生希嗎？

647
00:35:00,140 --> 00:35:01,801
是呀，今天你和她拍呀

648
00:35:02,058 --> 00:35:02,843
不是吧？

649
00:35:03,018 --> 00:35:04,349
好大壓力喔！

650
00:35:06,146 --> 00:35:07,306
麻生希小姐

651
00:35:07,522 --> 00:35:10,764
小澤馬利奧今天第一次正式拍AV

652
00:35:10,942 --> 00:35:11,681
請麻生小姐指教指教

653
00:35:11,860 --> 00:35:13,066
請多多指教

654
00:35:13,236 --> 00:35:14,521
不用客氣

655
00:35:14,696 --> 00:35:16,732
之前已經看過小澤先生的作品

656
00:35:17,365 --> 00:35:19,651
覺得你真的好可愛

657
00:35:20,785 --> 00:35:22,025
不知道小澤先生身體

658
00:35:22,203 --> 00:35:23,864
最敏感的部位是哪裏呢？

659
00:35:24,164 --> 00:35:26,155
她問你最敏感是哪裏呢？

660
00:35:26,499 --> 00:35:27,659
全身嘛！

661
00:35:28,168 --> 00:35:29,499
全身！

662
00:35:31,004 --> 00:35:32,835
小澤先生真的好風趣

663
00:35:33,006 --> 00:35:34,962
我最喜歡風趣的男人了

664
00:35:40,680 --> 00:35:41,795
耳朵

665
00:35:47,020 --> 00:35:48,430
乳頭

666
00:35:50,482 --> 00:35:51,517
不要…

667
00:35:51,691 --> 00:35:52,271
不要…

668
00:35:52,442 --> 00:35:53,557
老師…

669
00:35:53,735 --> 00:35:55,020
老師不要…

670
00:35:56,446 --> 00:35:57,356
不要…

671
00:35:57,530 --> 00:35:58,360
老師…

672
00:35:58,531 --> 00:36:00,021
不要…

673
00:36:01,868 --> 00:36:04,780
記住，掙扎一會兒就要放棄

674
00:36:05,413 --> 00:36:07,495
因為你已經開始想要

675
00:36:07,874 --> 00:36:10,365
掙扎太久觀眾會不耐煩

676
00:36:10,669 --> 00:36:11,658
總之奧義就是…

677
00:36:11,836 --> 00:36:14,703
「三下反抗，一下迎合」

678
00:36:14,964 --> 00:36:16,374
明白嗎？

679
00:36:17,050 --> 00:36:18,711
有一點不能忘記

680
00:36:19,386 --> 00:36:22,753
兩人之間絕對沒有「不可能」

681
00:36:23,056 --> 00:36:24,717
是這樣的

682
00:36:25,016 --> 00:36:26,506
謝謝您！

683
00:36:48,498 --> 00:36:51,365
我一定要跟他來一炮

684
00:37:03,263 --> 00:37:04,924
讀幾年級呀？

685
00:37:05,473 --> 00:37:06,428
中一

686
00:37:08,309 --> 00:37:10,265
這把年紀不就是留了很多年級！

687
00:37:10,437 --> 00:37:11,927
一定是他媽的蠢貨！

688
00:37:12,230 --> 00:37:13,470
小澤同學

689
00:37:13,648 --> 00:37:14,808
是！

690
00:37:24,951 --> 00:37:26,407
小澤同學

691
00:37:28,246 --> 00:37:29,782
到你檢查身體

692
00:37:30,999 --> 00:37:32,739
醫生你好！

693
00:37:35,128 --> 00:37:36,834
今年幾歲？

694
00:37:37,297 --> 00:37:38,628
十三

695
00:37:40,884 --> 00:37:42,545
上床，脫衣服

696
00:37:43,178 --> 00:37:44,213
是

697
00:38:03,823 --> 00:38:06,235
老師，你做什麼？

698
00:38:09,662 --> 00:38:12,495
我在替你檢查乳頭的反應

699
00:38:13,333 --> 00:38:14,869
是正常的

700
00:38:15,251 --> 00:38:19,665
我還要看看你小弟弟是偏左，還是偏右

701
00:38:38,441 --> 00:38:40,773
你現在看到我做什麼？

702
00:38:41,069 --> 00:38:42,650
脫衣服

703
00:38:43,571 --> 00:38:48,190
你眼睛有問題

704
00:38:49,494 --> 00:38:51,485
出現幻覺

705
00:38:55,834 --> 00:38:58,325
老師，你幹嘛呀？

706
00:38:58,878 --> 00:39:01,494
我好怕怕呀！

707
00:39:04,467 --> 00:39:05,798
不要…

708
00:39:06,928 --> 00:39:09,214
不要…

709
00:39:10,682 --> 00:39:12,593
不要…

710
00:39:13,184 --> 00:39:14,390
不要…

711
00:39:20,149 --> 00:39:21,810
發育得相當完整

712
00:39:21,985 --> 00:39:24,021
比間尺還長

713
00:39:27,282 --> 00:39:28,397
不要…

714
00:39:28,616 --> 00:39:30,322
老師不要…

715
00:39:30,827 --> 00:39:32,442
小澤同學

716
00:39:32,745 --> 00:39:35,487
以下你看到的，和你做的

717
00:39:35,665 --> 00:39:37,826
全部都是幻覺

718
00:39:46,801 --> 00:39:49,167
老師，舒服…

719
00:39:52,098 --> 00:39:53,884
要來了…

720
00:39:55,059 --> 00:39:56,469
一起來吧

721
00:40:06,613 --> 00:40:09,150
謝謝老師！

722
00:40:09,324 --> 00:40:10,655
停！

723
00:40:10,825 --> 00:40:12,281
好！做得好！

724
00:40:15,955 --> 00:40:18,037
謝謝你

725
00:40:18,249 --> 00:40:19,238
是不是很開心？

726
00:40:19,417 --> 00:40:19,872
很開心

727
00:40:20,043 --> 00:40:21,954
介不介意替我拿張衛生紙？流出來了！

728
00:40:22,170 --> 00:40:24,035
衛生紙！

729
00:40:26,966 --> 00:40:29,173
馬利奧…

730
00:40:37,936 --> 00:40:39,346
你好！

731
00:40:39,812 --> 00:40:41,018
你好！

732
00:40:45,777 --> 00:40:47,017
馬利奧？

733
00:40:47,779 --> 00:40:50,111
不是，我很明顯是張家輝啦！

734
00:40:50,865 --> 00:40:52,480
真是馬利奧！

735
00:40:53,451 --> 00:40:54,566
我愛你！

736
00:40:54,744 --> 00:40:56,325
不要！

737
00:40:59,666 --> 00:41:04,581
和馬利奧合作的女優由我挑選

738
00:41:04,796 --> 00:41:06,457
是的，當然是

739
00:41:15,431 --> 00:41:16,887
社長，電話

740
00:41:17,934 --> 00:41:19,299
這個…

741
00:41:20,687 --> 00:41:21,847
喂？

742
00:43:27,980 --> 00:43:29,265
等等…

743
00:43:29,732 --> 00:43:30,892
那個…

744
00:43:31,067 --> 00:43:32,932
是多大個cup呢？

745
00:43:33,861 --> 00:43:34,976
L-cup !

746
00:43:35,196 --> 00:43:36,311
L-cup ?

747
00:43:36,489 --> 00:43:38,605
A、B、C、D、E、F、G

748
00:43:38,783 --> 00:43:40,489
H、I、J、K、L

749
00:43:40,660 --> 00:43:43,026
操你媽的，真他媽的巨大！

750
00:43:57,343 --> 00:43:59,959
不要…

751
00:44:02,265 --> 00:44:03,846
不要…

752
00:44:04,475 --> 00:44:05,931
救命呀！

753
00:44:06,936 --> 00:44:08,346
救命呀！

754
00:44:15,862 --> 00:44:17,818
你逃不掉了

755
00:44:18,781 --> 00:44:21,693
還是乖乖就範吧

756
00:44:22,410 --> 00:44:26,403
給我玩完，再滿足這裏所有女人

757
00:44:27,206 --> 00:44:29,162
不要…

758
00:44:30,376 --> 00:44:31,957
不要…

759
00:44:32,253 --> 00:44:35,541
不要…

760
00:44:44,974 --> 00:44:48,262
救命，救我呀

761
00:44:48,936 --> 00:44:50,927
我不可以就這樣死在這裏的

762
00:44:51,272 --> 00:44:52,512
我要想辦法

763
00:44:52,773 --> 00:44:54,980
我要用幻想對抗你的呢！

764
00:45:45,952 --> 00:45:47,408
好！停機！

765
00:45:50,373 --> 00:45:55,367
辛苦了！　　　辛苦了！

766
00:46:01,968 --> 00:46:04,880
阿絲，我以為你不再聽我電話了

767
00:46:05,137 --> 00:46:06,627
你有沒有收到我送給你的包包？

768
00:46:06,806 --> 00:46:08,137
收到啦

769
00:46:09,600 --> 00:46:10,965
我以為你會生我氣

770
00:46:11,143 --> 00:46:13,759
其實呢，我也接受現實了

771
00:46:13,938 --> 00:46:17,101
現在這個世界也是笑貧不笑娼

772
00:46:17,275 --> 00:46:19,357
你也不用太介懷人家怎麼看你的

773
00:46:19,527 --> 00:46:20,687
我沒有呀

774
00:46:20,987 --> 00:46:22,443
我只介意你怎麼看我

775
00:46:22,613 --> 00:46:24,604
人家都說不介意了

776
00:46:24,865 --> 00:46:26,196
我不說了，要把頭髮吹乾

777
00:46:26,367 --> 00:46:28,198
再跟你說吧，拜拜

778
00:46:50,099 --> 00:46:51,339
我操你呀！

779
00:46:51,517 --> 00:46:52,757
你死去哪裏啦？

780
00:46:52,935 --> 00:46:54,266
他媽的把我的錢都拿了

781
00:46:54,437 --> 00:46:56,268
還留下一筆高利貸給我！

782
00:46:56,439 --> 00:46:57,474
是我混蛋

783
00:46:58,858 --> 00:47:00,018
你打死我吧！

784
00:47:00,192 --> 00:47:02,683
操你…

785
00:47:05,489 --> 00:47:07,445
你現在那麼有錢

786
00:47:08,075 --> 00:47:10,862
捧紅了那個小澤馬利奧

787
00:47:11,704 --> 00:47:14,195
又不見你捧我？

788
00:47:18,044 --> 00:47:21,582
你已經不愛我了

789
00:47:23,341 --> 00:47:26,424
我不可以忍受你和別的女人上床的

790
00:47:26,761 --> 00:47:30,253
無論你怎樣，我都那麼愛你的

791
00:47:31,640 --> 00:47:33,471
那你證明呀

792
00:47:43,027 --> 00:47:44,892
我不客氣了

793
00:48:40,126 --> 00:48:42,492
對不起…不好意思…

794
00:48:43,963 --> 00:48:44,622
謝謝！

795
00:48:44,797 --> 00:48:47,129
不好意思…對不起…

796
00:48:48,759 --> 00:48:50,545
有錢人喔！

797
00:48:56,350 --> 00:48:57,681
替我捉住那混蛋

798
00:48:57,893 --> 00:48:58,757
媽的別給他走！

799
00:48:58,936 --> 00:49:00,426
哪個混蛋？

800
00:49:00,646 --> 00:49:02,352
我不就是混蛋囉！

801
00:49:03,149 --> 00:49:03,683
這個？

802
00:49:03,858 --> 00:49:05,974
對呀，你旁邊那個呀！

803
00:49:16,495 --> 00:49:18,611
我真他媽的傻逼蠢貨！

804
00:49:19,039 --> 00:49:20,495
我明知道哥兒是騙我的

805
00:49:20,666 --> 00:49:23,123
我都給他再來一炮

806
00:49:23,377 --> 00:49:25,584
你知不知道他刺得我最痛的是哪裏？

807
00:49:26,255 --> 00:49:27,836
是心呀！

808
00:49:28,591 --> 00:49:31,378
我以前給日本仔騙我來日本

809
00:49:31,677 --> 00:49:34,635
在歌舞伎町呀，做風俗娘呢！

810
00:49:34,847 --> 00:49:35,882
你做風俗娘？

811
00:49:36,056 --> 00:49:39,514
幫人家馬殺雞，推油呀、出火呀

812
00:49:39,685 --> 00:49:40,925
我很厲害耶

813
00:49:41,103 --> 00:49:43,310
九十分鐘賺三萬日圓？

814
00:50:05,794 --> 00:50:08,331
後來廣也哥兒愛上了我

815
00:50:08,547 --> 00:50:09,787
我不就給他放題囉

816
00:50:10,049 --> 00:50:13,041
他是我的客人嘛，又那麼愛我

817
00:50:13,260 --> 00:50:14,340
我就不收他錢囉

818
00:50:14,512 --> 00:50:16,218
他媽的把我的錢都騙光了

819
00:50:16,388 --> 00:50:18,049
還丟下一筆高利貸給我

820
00:50:18,224 --> 00:50:20,385
所有男人都是這樣騙女人的

821
00:50:20,559 --> 00:50:23,016
總之一個男人一看見你，就說很喜歡你

822
00:50:23,187 --> 00:50:24,347
他就是他媽的在騙你

823
00:50:24,522 --> 00:50:26,058
我反過來想的

824
00:50:26,315 --> 00:50:29,352
我以為你說不喜歡我，是喜歡我呢

825
00:50:29,944 --> 00:50:30,933
那你喜不喜歡我？

826
00:50:31,111 --> 00:50:32,692
我從來不騙人的

827
00:50:34,782 --> 00:50:38,115
愛情真是他媽的累人

828
00:50:40,120 --> 00:50:43,658
哥兒哥兒哥兒哥…

829
00:50:46,085 --> 00:50:47,416
你怎麼了？

830
00:50:48,337 --> 00:50:49,998
你不是那麼笨吧？

831
00:50:50,297 --> 00:50:51,412
唉，糟了！

832
00:50:53,133 --> 00:50:54,964
為什麼我的腳不用走

833
00:50:55,135 --> 00:50:56,545
它也走著呢？

834
00:50:56,804 --> 00:50:59,386
你剛才喝的啤酒，是新發明

835
00:50:59,557 --> 00:51:00,672
喝了會飛的

836
00:51:01,600 --> 00:51:04,216
你當我傻逼！

837
00:51:04,603 --> 00:51:06,514
你在背著我嘛！

838
00:51:07,273 --> 00:51:08,729
謝謝你

839
00:51:10,359 --> 00:51:12,896
又會這麼蠢也這麼重的

840
00:51:17,116 --> 00:51:18,777
對，可以了

841
00:51:18,993 --> 00:51:20,108
謝謝你

842
00:51:20,452 --> 00:51:21,612
是！

843
00:51:21,954 --> 00:51:23,319
嘩！很帥呀！

844
00:51:23,497 --> 00:51:24,657
有多帥呢？

845
00:51:25,082 --> 00:51:26,618
你側面的分界真是一絕呀

846
00:51:26,792 --> 00:51:27,747
是嗎？

847
00:51:27,918 --> 00:51:28,532
那我想問問你

848
00:51:28,711 --> 00:51:30,952
這一身造型是拍什麼戲呢？

849
00:51:31,130 --> 00:51:33,291
今天是拍你做宇宙大王　　　這樣…

850
00:51:33,465 --> 00:51:35,706
給美少女戰士捉走了　　　是這樣的…

851
00:51:35,884 --> 00:51:36,839
先姦後殺　　　是

852
00:51:37,011 --> 00:51:37,921
殺完再奸

853
00:51:38,095 --> 00:51:40,086
死了也繼續奸，好點子

854
00:51:40,389 --> 00:51:41,925
那誰做美少女呀？

855
00:51:42,099 --> 00:51:43,964
淮山杞子呀，新人來的

856
00:51:44,310 --> 00:51:45,550
那她經紀人會不會叫…

857
00:51:45,728 --> 00:51:46,763
「根本刁斯」呢？

858
00:51:48,397 --> 00:51:49,432
你好！

859
00:51:49,607 --> 00:51:50,767
你好…

860
00:51:50,941 --> 00:51:52,647
杞子她是第一次拍AV

861
00:51:52,818 --> 00:51:55,400
請小澤先生多多指教

862
00:51:55,571 --> 00:51:56,981
來吧，杞子！

863
00:51:57,406 --> 00:51:58,691
你好，多多指教

864
00:51:58,907 --> 00:52:00,317
請多多指教

865
00:52:00,492 --> 00:52:01,732
經紀人相當屌絲

866
00:52:01,910 --> 00:52:03,571
好像我那麼屌絲呀！

867
00:52:04,955 --> 00:52:06,946
她很可愛呢！

868
00:52:10,002 --> 00:52:11,708
不要…

869
00:52:12,004 --> 00:52:13,710
不要…

870
00:52:16,592 --> 00:52:16,876
大…

871
00:52:17,051 --> 00:52:18,291
大魔王…

872
00:52:20,220 --> 00:52:24,338
你濫殺無辜，罪惡滿刑…

873
00:52:27,936 --> 00:52:29,346
受死啦…

874
00:52:29,688 --> 00:52:31,178
對！

875
00:52:32,483 --> 00:52:34,519
你不要奸我

876
00:52:34,693 --> 00:52:35,899
你可以殺我

877
00:52:36,111 --> 00:52:37,851
可是你千萬別搞我的小弟弟

878
00:52:38,030 --> 00:52:39,986
這是我的死穴

879
00:52:40,157 --> 00:52:41,363
不過你捉了我…

880
00:52:41,533 --> 00:52:44,275
我任你處置吧，來吧！

881
00:52:51,543 --> 00:52:53,955
我要你…死前…

882
00:52:56,048 --> 00:52:58,289
受盡屈辱

883
00:53:22,324 --> 00:53:25,441
不要…

884
00:54:11,248 --> 00:54:12,579
淮山，你不可以這樣的！

885
00:54:12,750 --> 00:54:15,833
沒關係　　　淮山，等等…

886
00:54:16,003 --> 00:54:17,288
我去搞定她

887
00:54:17,463 --> 00:54:20,580
很抱歉，真的非常抱歉！

888
00:54:28,640 --> 00:54:30,255
我沒有惡意的

889
00:56:44,484 --> 00:56:46,600
AV有多大壓力

890
00:56:46,904 --> 00:56:48,269
我很清楚

891
00:56:49,072 --> 00:56:51,233
我都不太喜歡拍AV的

892
00:56:52,284 --> 00:56:54,115
不過看來也不適合你

893
00:56:54,912 --> 00:56:56,448
你走吧！

894
00:56:58,874 --> 00:57:00,956
是不是我的日文太爛呀？

895
00:57:01,126 --> 00:57:02,241
明白嗎？

896
00:57:02,419 --> 00:57:04,785
可是我和經紀人簽了合約

897
00:57:05,005 --> 00:57:07,496
毀約要賠很多錢的

898
00:57:07,758 --> 00:57:08,793
沒問題

899
00:57:08,967 --> 00:57:10,832
我有錢

900
00:57:11,345 --> 00:57:12,460
行了！

901
00:57:15,307 --> 00:57:16,513
再見…

902
00:57:19,353 --> 00:57:20,718
再見…

903
00:57:22,481 --> 00:57:23,846
走吧！

904
00:57:33,325 --> 00:57:34,735
小澤先生

905
00:57:35,661 --> 00:57:37,151
我覺得跟你拍，我可以的

906
00:57:38,163 --> 00:57:40,370
不過小澤先生可不可以幫我一個忙？

907
00:57:41,833 --> 00:57:43,039
什麼忙？

908
00:57:43,543 --> 00:57:45,158
就是拍AV之前

909
00:57:45,420 --> 00:57:47,160
請小澤先生和我拍拖

910
00:57:47,673 --> 00:57:49,504
給我一些戀愛的感覺

911
00:57:49,675 --> 00:57:51,666
那樣我一定會拍很好的

912
00:58:04,648 --> 00:58:05,854
鮪魚腩壽司？

913
00:58:08,902 --> 00:58:09,482
鮪魚腩，可以嗎？

914
00:58:09,653 --> 00:58:11,189
很喜歡

915
00:58:16,576 --> 00:58:17,691
晚飯可以嗎？

916
00:58:17,869 --> 00:58:18,858
可以呀

917
00:58:19,204 --> 00:58:21,320
但是下次先換衣服

918
00:58:21,498 --> 00:58:24,035
我們這身打扮比較怪

919
00:58:24,209 --> 00:58:26,666
我也這樣覺得

920
00:59:41,912 --> 00:59:45,075
一定是鳩山把衣服拿回來

921
01:00:18,323 --> 01:00:19,529
那…

922
01:00:20,158 --> 01:00:22,490
就是說我們穿得那麼光鮮

923
01:00:23,495 --> 01:00:25,326
而且又那麼整齊

924
01:00:26,331 --> 01:00:27,741
就是沒事啦！

925
01:00:28,291 --> 01:00:30,031
我有說你有做過嗎？

926
01:00:30,377 --> 01:00:31,787
心虛啊？

927
01:00:33,421 --> 01:00:35,207
也不是心虛

928
01:00:35,382 --> 01:00:37,168
只是三個字…

929
01:00:37,634 --> 01:00:38,999
措手不及

930
01:00:43,014 --> 01:00:44,550
香港女朋友

931
01:00:47,060 --> 01:00:49,142
那我先走了

932
01:00:49,396 --> 01:00:51,352
明天見

933
01:00:53,567 --> 01:00:56,104
我們剛剛收工嘛

934
01:00:56,444 --> 01:00:58,400
然後她…

935
01:01:29,895 --> 01:01:30,680
操我呀！

936
01:01:30,854 --> 01:01:33,015
我要你像在AV？操那些女人一樣的操我！

937
01:01:33,231 --> 01:01:33,936
不要呀！

938
01:01:34,107 --> 01:01:36,268
我今天拍了四場戲，我做不到了

939
01:01:36,443 --> 01:01:37,933
不許不要！

940
01:02:31,539 --> 01:02:33,450
宇宙大魔王，我不會放過你

941
01:02:33,625 --> 01:02:35,286
別走！

942
01:02:37,337 --> 01:02:38,827
別走！

943
01:02:39,214 --> 01:02:40,454
等等…

944
01:02:57,482 --> 01:02:58,813
等等…

945
01:03:13,790 --> 01:03:15,997
就算只得一天

946
01:03:16,960 --> 01:03:19,793
我也要完全擁有你

947
01:03:56,458 --> 01:03:57,789
這一刻

948
01:03:58,126 --> 01:04:00,538
我深深體會到原來妒忌心

949
01:04:01,046 --> 01:04:02,911
可以將一個女人改變

950
01:04:03,631 --> 01:04:05,462
將一個女人推得那麼盡

951
01:04:09,012 --> 01:04:11,924
這一次，是我拍AV以來

952
01:04:12,724 --> 01:04:14,965
第一次有愛情的感覺

953
01:04:33,787 --> 01:04:34,867
喂？

954
01:04:35,080 --> 01:04:37,241
席夢絲，你現在在哪？

955
01:04:37,415 --> 01:04:40,407
我在日本旅行呀，剛剛去了血拚呀

956
01:04:41,127 --> 01:04:41,991
血拚？

957
01:04:42,170 --> 01:04:44,081
你男友是小澤馬利奧的事被爆料了

958
01:04:44,255 --> 01:04:46,462
現在大陸出版社說你形象有問題

959
01:04:46,674 --> 01:04:47,413
暫停出版你的書

960
01:04:47,592 --> 01:04:50,004
還喊停了你進入大陸市場的計劃

961
01:04:56,559 --> 01:04:58,766
歡迎大家收看「理有理講」

962
01:04:58,937 --> 01:05:01,019
這集我們請來兩位嘉賓

963
01:05:01,189 --> 01:05:03,601
討論一個非常熱門的話題

964
01:05:03,775 --> 01:05:05,936
首先，在我身旁的是…

965
01:05:06,236 --> 01:05:11,776
道德調整…道德調理整…理會會長

966
01:05:11,950 --> 01:05:14,737
兼資深AV人

967
01:05:14,911 --> 01:05:19,826
兼香港精神分裂協會榮譽會長

968
01:05:19,999 --> 01:05:22,285
人稱「玉面飛龍」的…

969
01:05:22,460 --> 01:05:23,825
毛膠衛先生

970
01:05:24,129 --> 01:05:25,494
是毛高衛！

971
01:05:25,672 --> 01:05:27,333
不好意思，毛膠衛先生

972
01:05:29,092 --> 01:05:31,799
另外一位就是我們的純愛小說女王

973
01:05:31,970 --> 01:05:33,210
席夢絲小姐

974
01:05:33,388 --> 01:05:36,380
和我們討論一下一個熱門話題

975
01:05:36,641 --> 01:05:39,178
就是有一位香港男人

976
01:05:39,352 --> 01:05:42,059
無緣無故的走去日本當AV男優

977
01:05:42,230 --> 01:05:45,848
被女人淫辱而走紅的奇怪現象

978
01:05:46,067 --> 01:05:47,557
毛先生，你怎麼看？

979
01:05:47,777 --> 01:05:49,187
我必須大力譴責

980
01:05:49,362 --> 01:05:51,899
這個化名為小澤馬利奧的男人

981
01:05:52,115 --> 01:05:54,822
他簡直喪盡天良，丟盡香港男人的臉子

982
01:05:54,993 --> 01:05:55,778
你們知道嗎？

983
01:05:55,952 --> 01:05:57,317
看了他AV的男人

984
01:05:57,495 --> 01:05:59,156
起碼有四成是從此不舉的

985
01:05:59,330 --> 01:06:01,742
有三成就是舉了起來，軟不下來

986
01:06:01,916 --> 01:06:04,328
有兩成就是鬼鬼祟祟地舉

987
01:06:04,502 --> 01:06:06,367
鬼鬼祟祟地軟下來

988
01:06:06,754 --> 01:06:07,869
還有一些特例

989
01:06:08,047 --> 01:06:10,254
有少數分子看了AV之後

990
01:06:10,425 --> 01:06:11,210
居然吐奶！

991
01:06:11,384 --> 01:06:13,500
這可真是好危險喔！　　　當然啦！

992
01:06:13,761 --> 01:06:15,877
那席夢絲小姐，你有怎麼看呢？

993
01:06:16,055 --> 01:06:18,341
最近有一本週刊爆料

994
01:06:18,516 --> 01:06:21,508
說你和這個小澤馬利奧是閨密喔！

995
01:06:24,105 --> 01:06:25,845
我要發出嚴正聲明

996
01:06:26,024 --> 01:06:29,107
我和這個小澤馬利奧已經沒有任何關係

997
01:06:29,569 --> 01:06:31,025
我之所以和他劃清界線

998
01:06:31,196 --> 01:06:32,185
是因為他的所作所為

999
01:06:32,363 --> 01:06:34,775
令我極度討厭、非常羞恥！

1000
01:06:35,033 --> 01:06:39,197
好，現在有家庭觀眾打電話來表達意見

1001
01:06:39,871 --> 01:06:42,203
是，電話已經接通了，請說

1002
01:06:42,582 --> 01:06:45,540
杜小姐，麻煩你，和席夢絲說

1003
01:06:45,877 --> 01:06:48,710
這裏在座的每個人都可以說我…

1004
01:06:49,130 --> 01:06:50,040
是

1005
01:06:51,841 --> 01:06:53,547
就你不可以！

1006
01:06:55,178 --> 01:06:57,169
小澤馬利奧呀！

1007
01:06:57,388 --> 01:06:59,629
各位家庭觀眾、現場觀眾…

1008
01:07:00,225 --> 01:07:03,467
小澤馬利奧呀！來了我們的節目呀！

1009
01:07:03,645 --> 01:07:05,636
我有一點點想吐奶呀！

1010
01:07:08,316 --> 01:07:11,399
我求求你了！你不要再傷害我了！

1011
01:07:11,653 --> 01:07:12,859
對呀，傷害都輕力點…

1012
01:07:13,029 --> 01:07:14,235
是誰說的…

1013
01:07:15,323 --> 01:07:17,234
是誰說的做什麼也不要緊

1014
01:07:17,408 --> 01:07:18,864
笑貪不笑娼

1015
01:07:19,035 --> 01:07:20,900
最要緊是賺到錢呀？

1016
01:07:25,750 --> 01:07:28,241
那你知不知道你現在害我大陸不可以出書

1017
01:07:28,419 --> 01:07:30,250
我沒了十幾億的市場呀？

1018
01:07:30,505 --> 01:07:32,871
這就是我們分手的原因是吧？

1019
01:07:33,424 --> 01:07:35,961
謝謝你，我明白了…

1020
01:07:36,761 --> 01:07:38,922
我也沒有大陸市場，我也沒餓死

1021
01:07:39,138 --> 01:07:40,753
你別走

1022
01:07:47,772 --> 01:07:49,353
你去死吧！

1023
01:07:59,284 --> 01:08:00,774
嘩，好精彩呀！

1024
01:08:00,952 --> 01:08:03,409
剛才公說公有理，婆說婆有理

1025
01:08:03,580 --> 01:08:05,912
毛先生，你見證了這個歷史時刻

1026
01:08:06,082 --> 01:08:07,868
你會站在哪一邊呢？

1027
01:08:08,084 --> 01:08:09,449
我有少少傷感

1028
01:08:09,794 --> 01:08:11,125
村上春樹說過

1029
01:08:11,296 --> 01:08:13,457
如果一面高牆和一隻雞蛋中間

1030
01:08:13,631 --> 01:08:15,292
他一定站在雞蛋那邊

1031
01:08:15,466 --> 01:08:17,002
作為一個男人

1032
01:08:17,385 --> 01:08:18,795
在女人的高跟鞋

1033
01:08:18,970 --> 01:08:20,255
和蛋蛋中間

1034
01:08:20,471 --> 01:08:22,336
我一定站在蛋蛋那邊

1035
01:08:23,141 --> 01:08:23,971
可惜呀

1036
01:08:24,142 --> 01:08:27,225
他的蛋蛋似乎已經給人踢爆了

1037
01:08:27,562 --> 01:08:28,768
可憐…

1038
01:08:28,938 --> 01:08:29,973
阿絲這一腳

1039
01:08:30,148 --> 01:08:31,684
我住了幾天醫院

1040
01:08:32,358 --> 01:08:34,474
雖然醫生說我小弟弟沒什麼事

1041
01:08:35,111 --> 01:08:36,521
可是我都決定了…

1042
01:08:36,988 --> 01:08:38,524
退出AV界

1043
01:08:48,541 --> 01:08:49,951
我想說…

1044
01:08:50,168 --> 01:08:51,829
我不想再做小澤馬利奧了

1045
01:08:52,003 --> 01:08:53,584
小澤是時候退休

1046
01:08:53,880 --> 01:08:55,370
去一個完全沒人認識的地方！

1047
01:08:57,300 --> 01:08:59,632
他媽的哪有沒人認識你的地方呢？

1048
01:09:00,178 --> 01:09:03,591
我剛剛把你的AV賣去了南美和東歐

1049
01:09:03,806 --> 01:09:05,387
除非你去非洲吧

1050
01:09:06,351 --> 01:09:07,841
你不要這樣好不好？

1051
01:09:08,061 --> 01:09:10,894
你已經在我身上賺了很多錢，對不對？

1052
01:09:11,356 --> 01:09:12,846
總之我這陣子賺的錢

1053
01:09:13,024 --> 01:09:14,059
你抽了佣金後還給我

1054
01:09:14,233 --> 01:09:15,848
我要走了

1055
01:09:19,530 --> 01:09:21,270
你他媽的有沒有想過你走了我怎麼辦？

1056
01:09:21,491 --> 01:09:22,901
合約我都簽了

1057
01:09:23,409 --> 01:09:24,194
賠死我呀

1058
01:09:24,369 --> 01:09:26,655
那陳靜不也一樣？怎樣了？

1059
01:09:27,413 --> 01:09:29,745
你還不還給我也好，你怎樣算都好

1060
01:09:29,916 --> 01:09:32,032
我決定要走了，好不好？

1061
01:09:36,756 --> 01:09:38,087
再見

1062
01:10:21,092 --> 01:10:22,753
小澤馬利奧！

1063
01:10:23,845 --> 01:10:25,085
全都是你的！

1064
01:10:25,346 --> 01:10:26,426
媽的別再回來

1065
01:10:26,597 --> 01:10:27,928
好好的過生活

1066
01:10:30,601 --> 01:10:31,636
那你有什麼打算？

1067
01:10:31,811 --> 01:10:32,766
我想過了

1068
01:10:32,937 --> 01:10:34,928
我不想你不開心的做下去

1069
01:10:35,148 --> 01:10:36,479
你走吧

1070
01:11:02,467 --> 01:11:04,207
你好呀，鳩山小姐

1071
01:11:04,469 --> 01:11:07,802
你這兩期的貸款還未還呢

1072
01:11:08,639 --> 01:11:10,470
我不知道你說什麼

1073
01:11:13,895 --> 01:11:16,432
兩天後不還錢

1074
01:11:16,814 --> 01:11:18,805
打斷你的腳！

1075
01:11:19,150 --> 01:11:20,390
走吧

1076
01:11:20,693 --> 01:11:22,058
走吧

1077
01:11:35,249 --> 01:11:36,159
沒事吧？

1078
01:11:36,334 --> 01:11:37,323
我沒事呀！

1079
01:11:37,502 --> 01:11:38,867
你看我像有事嗎？

1080
01:11:39,253 --> 01:11:40,618
你走啦

1081
01:11:40,880 --> 01:11:42,495
再見！

1082
01:11:45,510 --> 01:11:46,750
你他媽的又想怎樣呀？

1083
01:11:46,928 --> 01:11:48,134
想和你去醫院

1084
01:11:48,304 --> 01:11:50,340
然後還錢給人家，好不好？

1085
01:11:55,353 --> 01:11:57,264
小澤馬利奧要復出了！

1086
01:12:04,946 --> 01:12:06,061
死了沒有？

1087
01:12:06,364 --> 01:12:07,149
還未…

1088
01:12:07,323 --> 01:12:08,688
最近的醫院在哪裏？

1089
01:12:09,367 --> 01:12:10,197
送你去瑪嘉烈醫院吧

1090
01:12:10,368 --> 01:12:11,357
好呀…

1091
01:12:13,204 --> 01:12:18,699
不要喔…

1092
01:12:20,002 --> 01:12:21,663
等等

1093
01:12:23,047 --> 01:12:25,003
你身體是不是有問題呀？

1094
01:12:25,174 --> 01:12:26,505
口音好古怪

1095
01:12:26,676 --> 01:12:27,882
莫非你是同鄉？

1096
01:12:29,053 --> 01:12:29,792
是

1097
01:12:29,971 --> 01:12:31,256
我是福建混大阪

1098
01:12:31,430 --> 01:12:32,636
再混俄羅斯

1099
01:12:32,807 --> 01:12:33,762
哦，就是大陸妹啦！

1100
01:12:33,933 --> 01:12:35,013
是

1101
01:12:35,476 --> 01:12:36,886
就是…

1102
01:12:37,270 --> 01:12:39,511
我吹得嘴巴也僵硬了

1103
01:12:39,730 --> 01:12:41,470
怎麼它還那麼軟的？

1104
01:12:44,360 --> 01:12:46,601
馬利奧已經不行了

1105
01:12:49,156 --> 01:12:51,112
快叫汁男隨時準備

1106
01:12:51,701 --> 01:12:55,114
馬利奧已經不行，大家隨時準備

1107
01:12:57,582 --> 01:12:58,867
喂！大陸妹

1108
01:12:59,083 --> 01:13:00,038
你別亂說！

1109
01:13:00,209 --> 01:13:02,074
我小澤馬利奧在這一行堪稱出了名的…

1110
01:13:02,253 --> 01:13:03,663
口軟莖硬

1111
01:13:03,921 --> 01:13:05,377
會不會是你有問題？

1112
01:13:05,590 --> 01:13:08,127
我？我有什麼問題？

1113
01:13:08,885 --> 01:13:11,501
會不會是你身材有問題呀？

1114
01:13:11,721 --> 01:13:13,803
我身材有什麼問題？

1115
01:13:14,473 --> 01:13:17,135
如果我身材有問題

1116
01:13:17,476 --> 01:13:19,762
我作為一個福建人

1117
01:13:19,979 --> 01:13:23,312
怎樣在這個日本AV界立足？

1118
01:13:23,566 --> 01:13:24,931
說呀？你穿得像粽子一樣…

1119
01:13:25,109 --> 01:13:27,851
我想你不就是胸部跟背部一樣平！

1120
01:13:28,070 --> 01:13:30,527
我奶奶是俄羅斯人

1121
01:13:30,740 --> 01:13:33,823
我的身材是鬼妹的身材！

1122
01:13:33,993 --> 01:13:35,529
三歲鬼妹呀？

1123
01:13:36,621 --> 01:13:38,452
我看你…

1124
01:13:38,623 --> 01:13:42,411
也是不見身材不流眼淚的了

1125
01:13:42,835 --> 01:13:44,996
讓我秀一些本錢給你看！

1126
01:13:51,135 --> 01:13:52,625
真他媽的大波！

1127
01:13:52,803 --> 01:13:54,043
怎樣？

1128
01:13:54,305 --> 01:13:56,387
究竟是我的問題

1129
01:13:56,557 --> 01:13:59,299
還是你的問題呀？

1130
01:14:00,770 --> 01:14:02,806
那很明顯是我有問題了

1131
01:14:03,481 --> 01:14:04,687
我對不起你

1132
01:14:04,982 --> 01:14:06,313
對不起！

1133
01:14:07,818 --> 01:14:10,230
沒關係…

1134
01:14:11,322 --> 01:14:13,483
人生，總是會有…

1135
01:14:13,658 --> 01:14:16,195
高潮和低潮的

1136
01:14:16,535 --> 01:14:19,493
我之前有好幾年拍AV

1137
01:14:19,705 --> 01:14:21,036
都沒有高潮

1138
01:14:21,290 --> 01:14:25,249
不也是乾巴巴的熬過去了

1139
01:14:25,920 --> 01:14:28,161
所以呢，不用怕

1140
01:14:28,381 --> 01:14:30,463
希望在明天嘛！

1141
01:14:31,133 --> 01:14:32,589
謝謝你！

1142
01:14:32,843 --> 01:14:33,457
加油！

1143
01:14:33,636 --> 01:14:34,625
是！

1144
01:14:35,805 --> 01:14:37,887
替身呀！開工呀！

1145
01:14:38,057 --> 01:14:39,797
這個性無能的

1146
01:14:39,976 --> 01:14:41,512
浪費我的時間！

1147
01:14:43,521 --> 01:14:44,852
真的不行呀？

1148
01:14:45,690 --> 01:14:46,554
放心

1149
01:14:46,732 --> 01:14:48,188
問題不大的

1150
01:14:48,484 --> 01:14:50,020
只是麻煩很大而已

1151
01:14:55,116 --> 01:14:57,152
今天AV頭條！

1152
01:14:57,535 --> 01:14:58,775
知情人士爆料

1153
01:14:58,953 --> 01:15:02,866
小澤馬利奧自被香港女朋友襲擊下體之後

1154
01:15:03,374 --> 01:15:04,705
雖然生理上已經康復

1155
01:15:04,875 --> 01:15:06,831
但患上了精神不舉

1156
01:15:07,086 --> 01:15:09,668
連拍AV也得用替身

1157
01:15:10,131 --> 01:15:11,621
如果傳聞是真的

1158
01:15:11,882 --> 01:15:13,338
真的叫人太擔心了

1159
01:15:13,551 --> 01:15:15,917
不過小澤馬利奧最近也真的很麻煩

1160
01:15:16,262 --> 01:15:17,422
因為近期AV界的超新星出道

1161
01:15:17,596 --> 01:15:19,211
他就是被譽為小澤馬利奧勁敵

1162
01:15:19,473 --> 01:15:25,719
治癒系AV美男-長崎直樹

1163
01:15:26,355 --> 01:15:31,395
我們現在先去看看他的訪問…

1164
01:15:35,740 --> 01:15:37,776
各位，你們好

1165
01:15:37,950 --> 01:15:39,440
我是長崎直樹

1166
01:15:39,618 --> 01:15:41,574
能夠令女性觀眾開心

1167
01:15:41,746 --> 01:15:44,078
是我最大的幸福呢

1168
01:15:45,082 --> 01:15:50,372
有評論說你模仿小澤馬利奧

1169
01:15:50,671 --> 01:15:52,457
你怎麼看？

1170
01:15:52,631 --> 01:15:53,996
小澤馬利奧

1171
01:15:54,425 --> 01:15:55,505
這個…

1172
01:15:55,760 --> 01:15:57,591
既然大家都是香港人

1173
01:15:58,471 --> 01:16:00,257
你敢不敢接受挑戰？

1174
01:16:00,931 --> 01:16:04,515
我們就用下一部AV的銷量來決一勝負

1175
01:16:05,478 --> 01:16:06,809
如果輸掉的話…

1176
01:16:07,104 --> 01:16:08,594
必須承認對方

1177
01:16:08,773 --> 01:16:10,513
就是「男優之王」！

1178
01:16:11,442 --> 01:16:12,852
你敢不敢接受？

1179
01:16:15,071 --> 01:16:18,234
長崎直樹真的好有型呀！

1180
01:16:19,158 --> 01:16:20,113
厲害！

1181
01:16:20,326 --> 01:16:21,941
長崎直樹真是厲害！

1182
01:16:22,161 --> 01:16:24,117
最新AV《亂奸·未亡人》銷量數字

1183
01:16:24,288 --> 01:16:26,654
已經超過了馬利奧！

1184
01:16:27,124 --> 01:16:27,954
我們現在就為大家送上

1185
01:16:28,125 --> 01:16:29,456
這部AV的精彩片段

1186
01:16:40,721 --> 01:16:41,927
春子…

1187
01:16:44,350 --> 01:16:45,681
就是…

1188
01:16:46,435 --> 01:16:48,096
我們曾經說過

1189
01:16:48,562 --> 01:16:50,302
永遠在一起

1190
01:16:51,148 --> 01:16:52,433
但為什麼你那麼忍心

1191
01:16:52,608 --> 01:16:54,599
就這樣丟下我？

1192
01:16:55,402 --> 01:16:56,733
沒了你以後…

1193
01:16:58,072 --> 01:16:59,232
就是…

1194
01:16:59,907 --> 01:17:02,148
我根本沒辦法去相信愛

1195
01:17:03,619 --> 01:17:05,860
也不可以再去愛了

1196
01:17:07,748 --> 01:17:09,739
「奇摸雞」！

1197
01:17:21,929 --> 01:17:22,884
是…

1198
01:17:23,222 --> 01:17:24,712
你們有心了

1199
01:17:28,894 --> 01:17:30,475
春子的死是一個意外

1200
01:17:30,688 --> 01:17:32,519
你不要怪責自己了

1201
01:17:34,024 --> 01:17:35,230
就是…

1202
01:17:36,152 --> 01:17:37,642
如果不是我帶他去撒尿

1203
01:17:37,820 --> 01:17:38,980
只顧著抽煙

1204
01:17:39,196 --> 01:17:40,527
拉他不住…

1205
01:17:42,158 --> 01:17:44,695
他絕對不會給那貨車輾死！

1206
01:17:45,327 --> 01:17:47,238
那輪胎還他媽的那麼大！

1207
01:17:47,538 --> 01:17:49,904
我最喜歡就是多情的男人

1208
01:17:50,624 --> 01:17:52,660
他的眼淚已經將我溶化

1209
01:18:04,638 --> 01:18:06,048
直樹…

1210
01:18:06,473 --> 01:18:08,088
你靠在我個肩膀盡情哭吧　　　不要…

1211
01:18:08,642 --> 01:18:10,678
不要…

1212
01:18:11,312 --> 01:18:12,893
不要…

1213
01:18:13,522 --> 01:18:14,978
不要…

1214
01:18:20,571 --> 01:18:21,686
不要…

1215
01:18:25,910 --> 01:18:28,697
不要…

1216
01:18:29,371 --> 01:18:30,861
站住！

1217
01:18:34,668 --> 01:18:36,124
如果你走出這個門口

1218
01:18:36,295 --> 01:18:38,251
春子就會永遠消失！

1219
01:18:40,633 --> 01:18:42,089
想拿回春子

1220
01:18:42,301 --> 01:18:43,916
你自己脫衣服吧！

1221
01:18:44,220 --> 01:18:46,051
快點脫衣服！

1222
01:18:50,100 --> 01:18:51,636
快點！

1223
01:18:52,144 --> 01:18:54,100
由上至下脫光！

1224
01:18:54,271 --> 01:18:55,681
脫掉褲子！

1225
01:18:55,940 --> 01:18:57,271
脫掉內褲！

1226
01:18:57,441 --> 01:18:58,180
脫掉襪子！

1227
01:18:58,359 --> 01:18:59,769
幹嘛這樣子？

1228
01:18:59,944 --> 01:19:01,900
給我看你的乳頭！

1229
01:19:02,112 --> 01:19:03,227
跪下！

1230
01:19:04,365 --> 01:19:05,775
要笑！

1231
01:19:06,951 --> 01:19:08,111
跳舞！

1232
01:19:23,384 --> 01:19:26,342
我寧願給那麼大的輪胎輾死的是我

1233
01:19:27,388 --> 01:19:30,972
給那三個女人淫辱的是你呀，春子

1234
01:19:35,020 --> 01:19:39,013
（我的生命，猶如狂風中的花瓣）

1235
01:19:39,191 --> 01:19:40,055
（柔弱、飄零…）

1236
01:19:40,234 --> 01:19:40,723
（長崎直樹）

1237
01:19:40,901 --> 01:19:42,983
好！替我答應他！

1238
01:19:43,988 --> 01:19:44,977
他媽的不行

1239
01:19:45,155 --> 01:19:46,645
你真的他媽的不行嘛！

1240
01:19:46,991 --> 01:19:48,276
不行也得行

1241
01:19:48,993 --> 01:19:49,823
我要做一件

1242
01:19:49,994 --> 01:19:51,780
我一輩子都會記得的事

1243
01:19:52,037 --> 01:19:53,698
那你不去操門外的護衛員？

1244
01:19:57,167 --> 01:19:58,782
我突然間想起一個人

1245
01:19:59,044 --> 01:20:00,159
找到她

1246
01:20:00,337 --> 01:20:01,076
那就行了！

1247
01:20:01,255 --> 01:20:02,040
好！

1248
01:20:02,214 --> 01:20:04,000
我無論如何都幫你找她回來！

1249
01:20:05,050 --> 01:20:06,665
不會真的是門外那護衛員吧？

1250
01:20:07,511 --> 01:20:10,218
這個女人，是我青春期AV的女神

1251
01:20:10,389 --> 01:20:12,846
少年的我，為她打落了無數架飛機

1252
01:20:13,017 --> 01:20:14,302
成為空戰英雄

1253
01:20:14,518 --> 01:20:17,134
她簡直是我對性愛的啟蒙老師

1254
01:20:17,354 --> 01:20:20,812
也是好多香港空戰英雄的偶像

1255
01:20:21,567 --> 01:20:22,556
各位觀眾…

1256
01:20:22,735 --> 01:20:24,066
夕樹舞子

1257
01:20:37,041 --> 01:20:39,202
小澤先生的情況，我明白了

1258
01:20:39,877 --> 01:20:41,913
那你需要多少時間呢？

1259
01:20:43,213 --> 01:20:45,704
給我一杯茶的時間

1260
01:20:50,554 --> 01:20:53,045
男人的性興奮

1261
01:20:53,223 --> 01:20:54,884
是源自大腦

1262
01:20:55,476 --> 01:20:58,058
不是源自下半身

1263
01:20:58,896 --> 01:21:00,261
如果出現問題

1264
01:21:00,481 --> 01:21:02,392
最佳解決方法

1265
01:21:02,900 --> 01:21:04,185
是追本逆源

1266
01:21:04,360 --> 01:21:07,102
找回他成長期令他興奮的目標

1267
01:21:07,446 --> 01:21:08,982
令他重新起動

1268
01:22:06,380 --> 01:22:07,916
好辛苦！

1269
01:22:11,468 --> 01:22:12,799
沒事嗎？

1270
01:22:13,470 --> 01:22:14,459
小澤先生

1271
01:22:14,638 --> 01:22:17,880
你要堅持，醫生很快就來了

1272
01:22:18,684 --> 01:22:20,094
好辛苦！

1273
01:22:30,487 --> 01:22:31,476
怎麼了？

1274
01:22:31,989 --> 01:22:33,980
小澤先生，你的心跳好奇怪

1275
01:23:01,643 --> 01:23:02,758
好辛苦！

1276
01:23:02,936 --> 01:23:04,426
沒事嗎？

1277
01:23:05,314 --> 01:23:06,850
發生了什麼事？

1278
01:23:07,024 --> 01:23:08,059
怎麼了？

1279
01:23:08,233 --> 01:23:09,439
什麼？

1280
01:23:09,860 --> 01:23:11,350
你沒事嗎？

1281
01:23:12,112 --> 01:23:14,444
我的胸口好痛喔

1282
01:23:15,199 --> 01:23:16,985
你替我擦點油吧

1283
01:23:17,159 --> 01:23:18,023
擦點油麻煩你

1284
01:23:18,202 --> 01:23:20,363
擦在乳頭上就最好了

1285
01:23:20,871 --> 01:23:24,363
對不起，如果是這樣擦油也沒用

1286
01:23:27,461 --> 01:23:28,576
這個

1287
01:23:29,046 --> 01:23:30,536
振作呀！

1288
01:23:30,964 --> 01:23:32,704
振作呀！

1289
01:23:33,217 --> 01:23:35,253
振作呀！

1290
01:23:35,511 --> 01:23:37,297
振作呀！

1291
01:23:41,308 --> 01:23:43,845
我雖然令他起死回生

1292
01:23:44,436 --> 01:23:46,927
但是要他變回生龍活虎，比以前還厲害

1293
01:23:47,856 --> 01:23:50,518
還是需要更加厲害的高人幫他

1294
01:23:58,367 --> 01:23:59,857
喂，你在哪兒？

1295
01:24:00,285 --> 01:24:02,571
忽然叫我來這個貨倉做什麼呀？

1296
01:24:02,746 --> 01:24:05,078
我覺得你在港女手上跌倒

1297
01:24:05,249 --> 01:24:07,706
就應該從港女手上站起來！

1298
01:24:08,043 --> 01:24:09,999
所以我專誠為你速遞了

1299
01:24:10,212 --> 01:24:12,077
香港首屈一指的本地雞來日本呢

1300
01:24:37,614 --> 01:24:40,356
金雞也有外送服務到日本？

1301
01:24:40,742 --> 01:24:43,779
老闆，我不就是阿金囉

1302
01:24:43,954 --> 01:24:46,036
我一直想打開國際市場

1303
01:24:46,206 --> 01:24:47,992
今天終於可以實現到了

1304
01:24:48,166 --> 01:24:50,748
謝謝你，請多多指教！

1305
01:24:51,003 --> 01:24:52,789
鳩山小姐已經全告訴我了

1306
01:24:52,963 --> 01:24:54,624
你放心吧，我絕不失手

1307
01:24:54,798 --> 01:24:58,290
香港人對我特別有親切感的

1308
01:24:58,802 --> 01:25:00,588
我包你可以…

1309
01:25:03,140 --> 01:25:04,801
射爆大氣層

1310
01:25:05,684 --> 01:25:08,050
我好開心呀，第一次出來公幹！

1311
01:25:08,228 --> 01:25:10,014
我真的好開心呀！

1312
01:25:12,482 --> 01:25:14,268
是，謝謝

1313
01:25:14,651 --> 01:25:15,640
那我開始了，老闆

1314
01:25:15,819 --> 01:25:16,399
好啊…

1315
01:25:16,570 --> 01:25:17,355
要不要女朋友感覺？

1316
01:25:17,529 --> 01:25:18,314
千萬不要

1317
01:25:18,488 --> 01:25:20,649
我女朋友害成我這樣，我好恨她

1318
01:25:20,824 --> 01:25:21,813
好

1319
01:25:26,705 --> 01:25:28,946
我一看就知他有一段傷心的往事

1320
01:25:29,124 --> 01:25:29,658
非常傷心！

1321
01:25:29,833 --> 01:25:31,414
我先跟他聊聊天

1322
01:25:44,181 --> 01:25:45,887
看來我也要用冰火了！

1323
01:25:46,141 --> 01:25:49,850
不用出動那麼大殺傷力武器對付我吧？

1324
01:25:50,103 --> 01:25:51,684
非常時期用非常方法嘛

1325
01:25:51,855 --> 01:25:52,844
劉德華教的

1326
01:25:53,023 --> 01:25:55,765
那混蛋劉德華，這次給他害慘了

1327
01:26:17,631 --> 01:26:18,620
熱死人了

1328
01:26:18,799 --> 01:26:21,040
怎麼你那麼固執，這樣都不射？

1329
01:26:21,551 --> 01:26:22,131
不行了

1330
01:26:22,302 --> 01:26:25,009
我要出渦輪增壓，爆旋陀螺！

1331
01:26:58,880 --> 01:27:01,462
金雞果然名不虛傳！

1332
01:27:01,633 --> 01:27:04,420
看來，你已經射出了銀河系

1333
01:27:04,928 --> 01:27:06,589
依你現在的功力

1334
01:27:06,805 --> 01:27:08,591
可以接受任何挑戰

1335
01:27:09,850 --> 01:27:11,010
你要記住

1336
01:27:11,184 --> 01:27:12,640
你是香港人

1337
01:27:13,019 --> 01:27:15,601
香港人的核心價值就是…

1338
01:27:16,231 --> 01:27:19,268
遇到任何挫折，都一定要…

1339
01:27:20,318 --> 01:27:21,433
硬！

1340
01:27:27,117 --> 01:27:29,529
當今兩大最受迎的AV男優

1341
01:27:30,120 --> 01:27:32,702
小澤馬利奧和長崎直樹的…

1342
01:27:32,998 --> 01:27:36,331
「男優王者大對決」直播

1343
01:27:36,877 --> 01:27:38,037
現在正式開始！

1344
01:27:43,341 --> 01:27:44,421
小澤馬利奧

1345
01:27:44,593 --> 01:27:46,629
我今天就要在全世界面前打敗你！

1346
01:27:47,471 --> 01:27:48,460
如果你輸了

1347
01:27:48,638 --> 01:27:49,753
你要在電視機面前

1348
01:27:49,931 --> 01:27:51,262
向所有觀眾下跪

1349
01:27:51,433 --> 01:27:53,924
承認我，才是真正的「男優之王」

1350
01:27:54,811 --> 01:27:57,097
你這個江門古天樂，我跟你說呀

1351
01:27:57,314 --> 01:28:00,306
你抄襲我賣點這件事我都還未跟你算帳

1352
01:28:00,484 --> 01:28:01,064
好！

1353
01:28:01,234 --> 01:28:03,520
今天我就讓全日本人知道

1354
01:28:03,695 --> 01:28:06,528
誰才是最可愛的！

1355
01:28:07,240 --> 01:28:08,821
今天這場AV男優對決

1356
01:28:09,576 --> 01:28:11,191
將會以兩位男優最新推出

1357
01:28:11,369 --> 01:28:13,610
在今天開賣的AV新作銷量決勝負

1358
01:28:13,830 --> 01:28:17,163
而為了增加專業認受性

1359
01:28:17,334 --> 01:28:19,495
當然要請來他們的師傅

1360
01:28:19,920 --> 01:28:22,457
殿堂級AV男優

1361
01:28:22,631 --> 01:28:26,874
加籐鷹先生作專業評判

1362
01:28:31,765 --> 01:28:33,596
加籐鷹先生

1363
01:28:34,184 --> 01:28:38,348
你怎麼看這次兩位徒弟的對決呢？

1364
01:28:38,605 --> 01:28:41,688
他們倆都是我愛徒

1365
01:28:42,526 --> 01:28:45,233
真的左手手指又是肉

1366
01:28:45,445 --> 01:28:47,686
右手手指也是肉

1367
01:28:48,573 --> 01:28:52,612
我覺得是自己的左手和右手的決戰

1368
01:28:53,453 --> 01:28:57,241
兩位男優又有話要發表

1369
01:28:57,541 --> 01:28:58,656
真看不過眼你那麼帥

1370
01:28:58,834 --> 01:29:00,370
好，就跟你拚了

1371
01:29:00,544 --> 01:29:03,035
如果今天誰輸了，就要含我們師傅…

1372
01:29:03,213 --> 01:29:04,828
加籐鷹「神之手」

1373
01:29:05,006 --> 01:29:05,870
的手指！

1374
01:29:06,049 --> 01:29:06,663
靠！

1375
01:29:06,842 --> 01:29:07,877
你這個翻版張家輝

1376
01:29:08,051 --> 01:29:08,961
含而已，誰怕誰

1377
01:29:09,135 --> 01:29:11,126
那你就錯了

1378
01:29:11,304 --> 01:29:14,171
一塊砧板，就算切了三十年刺身

1379
01:29:14,349 --> 01:29:16,715
都會有點腥味吧？更何況…

1380
01:29:17,561 --> 01:29:19,392
加籐鷹的手指唷！

1381
01:29:20,939 --> 01:29:22,645
你等著含吧！

1382
01:29:23,400 --> 01:29:27,359
我手上已經有小澤和長崎的新作

1383
01:29:28,029 --> 01:29:29,144
去吧！

1384
01:30:20,206 --> 01:30:21,446
丑成這樣！

1385
01:30:37,474 --> 01:30:38,884
好可愛呢！

1386
01:30:41,978 --> 01:30:44,390
先生，我們幾姊妹希望…

1387
01:30:44,689 --> 01:30:47,726
吸收先生身體的精華

1388
01:30:47,901 --> 01:30:51,359
幫我們的靈魂補濕

1389
01:30:51,571 --> 01:30:53,812
讓我們得以超渡

1390
01:30:54,532 --> 01:30:56,147
等等，你走光喔！

1391
01:30:56,326 --> 01:30:57,566
沒關係！

1392
01:31:20,225 --> 01:31:21,214
臨

1393
01:31:21,893 --> 01:31:23,178
兵

1394
01:31:23,728 --> 01:31:24,843
斗

1395
01:31:25,522 --> 01:31:26,557
者

1396
01:31:26,856 --> 01:31:27,390
皆

1397
01:31:27,565 --> 01:31:28,304
陣

1398
01:31:28,483 --> 01:31:29,188
裂

1399
01:31:29,359 --> 01:31:30,565
在

1400
01:31:32,696 --> 01:31:33,731
前

1401
01:31:41,037 --> 01:31:43,119
我們來生再見

1402
01:31:52,298 --> 01:31:55,005
真的沒想到，太有驚喜了

1403
01:31:56,261 --> 01:32:00,550
長崎竟然想到以男女陰陽調和

1404
01:32:01,141 --> 01:32:04,178
破了人類和幽靈的界限

1405
01:32:04,853 --> 01:32:07,845
將AV提升到一個哲學的層次

1406
01:32:09,524 --> 01:32:10,809
謝謝！

1407
01:32:11,901 --> 01:32:13,186
謝謝！

1408
01:32:15,405 --> 01:32:17,396
我們長崎一定會贏

1409
01:32:17,782 --> 01:32:19,397
你們不如早點認輸吧

1410
01:32:21,786 --> 01:32:25,244
我現在真的好擔心呀，可是…

1411
01:32:26,124 --> 01:32:27,364
操你呀！

1412
01:32:28,418 --> 01:32:31,956
剛剛加籐先生的評語一出

1413
01:32:32,172 --> 01:32:33,582
長崎直樹的新作

1414
01:32:33,798 --> 01:32:35,538
《超渡淫靈》的銷量直線上升

1415
01:32:41,347 --> 01:32:42,507
我現在已經幻想到

1416
01:32:42,682 --> 01:32:45,845
一會兒你捉住加籐鷹雙手，含著的樣子

1417
01:32:46,144 --> 01:32:48,180
真的很可愛呢！

1418
01:32:48,646 --> 01:32:49,601
靠！

1419
01:32:53,443 --> 01:32:56,651
不知小澤又會以什麼題材迎戰

1420
01:32:56,821 --> 01:33:00,109
又可不可以勝過長崎呢？

1421
01:33:00,283 --> 01:33:01,523
加籐先生

1422
01:33:01,743 --> 01:33:04,325
我們還是快點看看小澤的新作吧！

1423
01:33:05,080 --> 01:33:05,910
去吧！

1424
01:33:12,128 --> 01:33:15,916
地球在宇宙中就好像一個無辜少女

1425
01:33:16,132 --> 01:33:18,589
經常給來自外星的怪獸蹂躪

1426
01:33:18,802 --> 01:33:20,758
通常呢，就一星期一次

1427
01:33:20,929 --> 01:33:23,636
因為超人片集就是一星期播一次的

1428
01:33:23,932 --> 01:33:25,468
這一次就最離譜了

1429
01:33:25,642 --> 01:33:27,303
因為怪獸好多

1430
01:33:27,477 --> 01:33:28,512
好多只

1431
01:34:12,689 --> 01:34:13,804
「?咩爹」！

1432
01:34:13,982 --> 01:34:15,188
「?咩爹」！

1433
01:34:21,948 --> 01:34:23,188
這個時候…

1434
01:34:23,408 --> 01:34:24,193
真他媽的沒用

1435
01:34:24,367 --> 01:34:27,655
沒一次夠怪獸打的地球保衛隊出動了！

1436
01:34:27,829 --> 01:34:30,070
這個…那些怪獸都他媽的瘋了

1437
01:34:37,130 --> 01:34:38,461
看看看

1438
01:34:38,673 --> 01:34:41,710
這些白癡每次都只會激怒怪獸

1439
01:34:41,885 --> 01:34:43,625
簡直是操他都嫌費事

1440
01:34:44,429 --> 01:34:45,544
剛剛收到消息

1441
01:34:45,722 --> 01:34:47,804
我們的部隊都給怪獸擊落了！

1442
01:34:47,974 --> 01:34:49,510
我們支持不下去了…

1443
01:34:49,684 --> 01:34:52,300
地球的和平還是要靠你了，小澤超人！

1444
01:34:52,604 --> 01:34:53,434
其實有哪一個禮拜不是這樣？

1445
01:34:53,605 --> 01:34:54,685
你說來幹嗎？

1446
01:34:57,901 --> 01:34:58,731
你們這些王八蛋

1447
01:34:58,902 --> 01:34:59,891
他媽的來地球做什麼？

1448
01:35:01,571 --> 01:35:02,811
那還用問？

1449
01:35:03,072 --> 01:35:04,027
來毀滅地球

1450
01:35:04,199 --> 01:35:05,905
他媽的不用血拚呀？

1451
01:35:07,410 --> 01:35:08,775
好，先殺你這個王八蛋！

1452
01:35:13,708 --> 01:35:15,323
來日本不血拚還幹嗎？

1453
01:35:15,793 --> 01:35:16,498
那麼兇啊

1454
01:35:16,669 --> 01:35:18,079
讓我把你的耳朵扭下來

1455
01:35:20,965 --> 01:35:22,125
怎麼會是你呀？

1456
01:35:22,383 --> 01:35:24,044
我特地出鏡支持你的！

1457
01:35:25,678 --> 01:35:27,418
平常為什麼戴假髮呀？

1458
01:35:28,264 --> 01:35:29,344
其實我是戴假髮的

1459
01:35:29,515 --> 01:35:30,800
你這混蛋，騙我？

1460
01:35:31,100 --> 01:35:31,964
走呀！

1461
01:35:32,143 --> 01:35:33,178
小澤超人一出手

1462
01:35:33,353 --> 01:35:35,969
就把鳩山怪獸扔到很遠…

1463
01:35:37,065 --> 01:35:40,182
你又不是地球人，為什麼不讓我們破壞？

1464
01:35:48,701 --> 01:35:49,941
這群怪獸一湧而上

1465
01:35:50,119 --> 01:35:51,108
人多欺負人少

1466
01:35:51,287 --> 01:35:52,402
圍毆小澤超人

1467
01:35:52,580 --> 01:35:54,070
原來不是

1468
01:35:54,249 --> 01:35:56,285
是圍著非禮小澤超人才對

1469
01:35:56,459 --> 01:35:57,790
這些怪獸，非常好色

1470
01:35:57,961 --> 01:35:59,792
對小澤超人上下其手

1471
01:35:59,963 --> 01:36:04,252
他們調戲小澤超人兩顆乳頭

1472
01:36:04,425 --> 01:36:06,290
還猴子偷桃！

1473
01:36:07,387 --> 01:36:08,797
操你媽的，全都歪掉了

1474
01:36:08,972 --> 01:36:09,836
還是那招…

1475
01:36:10,014 --> 01:36:13,973
招、招、招…

1476
01:36:15,019 --> 01:36:16,350
小澤超人，我問你…

1477
01:36:16,604 --> 01:36:19,346
到底地球有啥好，值得你去保護？

1478
01:36:19,524 --> 01:36:20,309
我他媽的怎會知道

1479
01:36:20,483 --> 01:36:22,223
我是超人，就要保護地球啦！

1480
01:36:22,694 --> 01:36:25,151
別跟他囉唆，先消滅他！

1481
01:36:25,321 --> 01:36:26,151
靠！

1482
01:36:26,322 --> 01:36:28,813
小澤超人，地球這趟給你害死了

1483
01:36:28,992 --> 01:36:29,981
你這混蛋，我真的忍你好久了

1484
01:36:30,159 --> 01:36:32,741
你整天在指指點點，你下來打呀！

1485
01:36:33,121 --> 01:36:35,407
操你媽的，整天只在上而坐著！

1486
01:36:35,665 --> 01:36:36,950
王八蛋，操你呀！

1487
01:36:37,125 --> 01:36:38,331
你說這些？

1488
01:36:38,501 --> 01:36:39,911
等等，操你是行得通的

1489
01:38:35,451 --> 01:38:38,033
原來令女人最受用的秘技

1490
01:38:38,204 --> 01:38:40,160
是男人的浪漫和細心

1491
01:38:40,456 --> 01:38:42,367
最令女人融化的G點

1492
01:38:42,542 --> 01:38:43,748
是在心裏

1493
01:38:43,918 --> 01:38:45,658
而不在那某處

1494
01:38:45,920 --> 01:38:48,787
小澤超人，我真他媽的佩服你！

1495
01:39:43,102 --> 01:39:46,594
小澤的AV不只衝出了地球

1496
01:39:46,814 --> 01:39:48,679
有去到宇宙的胸襟

1497
01:39:49,275 --> 01:39:52,859
表達了人類渴望和外星人和平相處

1498
01:39:53,696 --> 01:39:57,234
甚至合體的願望

1499
01:39:57,742 --> 01:40:02,111
比長崎的又再推上一個層次

1500
01:40:02,747 --> 01:40:05,534
人類以後不會再怕怪獸

1501
01:40:05,708 --> 01:40:08,700
真是來一隻，操一隻

1502
01:40:09,795 --> 01:40:11,660
小澤的AV

1503
01:40:12,381 --> 01:40:15,873
完全驅除了多年來我們對怪獸的恐懼

1504
01:40:16,552 --> 01:40:20,136
最新消息，有正式銷量宣佈

1505
01:40:20,306 --> 01:40:23,048
小澤的AV榮登銷量第一

1506
01:40:24,727 --> 01:40:26,718
徹底擊敗長崎！

1507
01:40:36,739 --> 01:40:38,195
不可能的！

1508
01:40:40,159 --> 01:40:41,569
不可能的！

1509
01:40:42,203 --> 01:40:43,739
我現在正式宣佈…

1510
01:40:44,580 --> 01:40:48,994
這次的AV男優王者大對決，勝出的是…

1511
01:40:49,544 --> 01:40:52,001
小澤馬利奧！

1512
01:41:01,097 --> 01:41:04,430
夠了，快點下來跪下吧

1513
01:41:23,786 --> 01:41:26,198
請你下跪吧！

1514
01:41:34,547 --> 01:41:36,959
跪呀！

1515
01:41:48,352 --> 01:41:51,185
含呀！

1516
01:42:24,639 --> 01:42:25,879
不是吧兄弟？

1517
01:42:26,140 --> 01:42:27,630
這樣就想過關？

1518
01:42:29,310 --> 01:42:30,516
幹嘛啦？

1519
01:42:30,686 --> 01:42:31,892
拍電視節目而已

1520
01:42:32,063 --> 01:42:33,178
用不著那麼認真吧

1521
01:42:33,356 --> 01:42:34,721
真傻逼！

1522
01:42:35,316 --> 01:42:36,772
你這混蛋！

1523
01:42:40,696 --> 01:42:43,859
我今日所受的屈辱，將來…

1524
01:42:45,409 --> 01:42:47,525
一定要你百倍奉還

1525
01:42:52,541 --> 01:42:53,621
贏了啦！

1526
01:42:53,793 --> 01:42:54,248
當然啦

1527
01:42:54,418 --> 01:42:55,908
贏了啦！

1528
01:42:56,879 --> 01:42:57,914
很開心吧？

1529
01:42:58,631 --> 01:42:59,711
說點正經的…

1530
01:43:00,049 --> 01:43:02,040
你有沒有試過看我的AV打飛機呢？

1531
01:43:02,843 --> 01:43:05,050
沒有，當然沒有啦！

1532
01:43:05,554 --> 01:43:06,885
答得那麼害羞？

1533
01:43:07,348 --> 01:43:09,134
他媽的神經病，當然沒有！

1534
01:43:10,059 --> 01:43:11,549
你是不是女人來的？

1535
01:43:20,903 --> 01:43:21,892
你好！

1536
01:43:22,113 --> 01:43:25,571
小澤馬利奧！

1537
01:43:27,743 --> 01:43:29,358
別廢話，一人一隻呀！

1538
01:43:29,537 --> 01:43:30,322
都簽名了！

1539
01:43:30,496 --> 01:43:31,326
謝謝！

1540
01:43:31,497 --> 01:43:32,532
從今天開始

1541
01:43:32,707 --> 01:43:34,698
我們這裏只賣正版DVD !

1542
01:43:36,752 --> 01:43:38,959
真走運，我這裏本來也關門了

1543
01:43:39,171 --> 01:43:41,002
但他真屌絲，接手了

1544
01:43:41,340 --> 01:43:42,750
屌絲是好的

1545
01:43:43,175 --> 01:43:44,381
曾經有人跟我說過

1546
01:43:44,552 --> 01:43:45,917
我們是香港人…

1547
01:43:46,095 --> 01:43:47,756
無論遇到什麼挫折也好

1548
01:43:47,930 --> 01:43:49,295
一定要硬！

1549
01:43:49,473 --> 01:43:50,929
要硬！

1550
01:43:51,100 --> 01:43:52,431
只要我們夠硬…

1551
01:43:52,935 --> 01:43:54,926
就沒人可以動我們了！

1552
01:44:00,276 --> 01:44:04,565
哥兒哥兒哥兒哥兒哥～～

1553
01:44:07,283 --> 01:44:08,443
哥～～～

1554
01:44:08,617 --> 01:44:11,233
你現在是「現象級男優」呀

1555
01:44:12,246 --> 01:44:13,452
手真多…

1556
01:44:13,789 --> 01:44:14,744
你雙手在幹什麼？

1557
01:44:14,915 --> 01:44:16,780
忍不住…忍不住…

1558
01:44:16,959 --> 01:44:19,666
Chotto Ma Te Yo愛心…

1559
01:44:31,182 --> 01:44:32,513
如果他射了

1560
01:44:32,725 --> 01:44:34,966
就可以圈一根橡皮筋在手上

1561
01:44:35,269 --> 01:44:37,760
現在他還沒射，所以沒有橡皮筋

1562
01:44:42,568 --> 01:44:46,402
你好，我是中國來的神算

1563
01:44:46,572 --> 01:44:48,563
綽號「人算不如天算」

1564
01:44:48,741 --> 01:44:51,483
真名是陳可辛，你可以叫我Peter

1565
01:44:52,036 --> 01:44:53,196
Peter老師

1566
01:44:53,454 --> 01:44:54,660
是不是很帥？

1567
01:44:54,872 --> 01:44:58,160
小澤老師，請你體罰我吧！

1568
01:45:00,669 --> 01:45:01,533
嘩！

1569
01:45:02,713 --> 01:45:04,203
搞什麼？!

1570
01:45:04,882 --> 01:45:05,837
發生什麼事？

1571
01:45:06,008 --> 01:45:07,168
你女兒真混蛋

1572
01:45:07,343 --> 01:45:09,504
抓我的手，捏她的胸，成何體統！

1573
01:45:11,388 --> 01:45:13,925
她那麼過份？有沒有我這麼過份呀？

1574
01:45:14,099 --> 01:45:16,340
嘩！你想怎樣呀？嘩！

1575
01:45:25,736 --> 01:45:27,476
謝謝

1576
01:45:36,205 --> 01:45:38,821
謝謝大家！

1577
01:45:41,710 --> 01:45:43,291
謝謝

1578
01:45:43,504 --> 01:45:46,587
嘩，好厚哦