- What gives you that idea? - The key you dropped.
- Maybe I dropped it for the milkman. - Oh.
She dropped it for the milkman.
Frulein, if that's supposed to be a joke, you're joking up the wrong tree.
Let me assure you, we are in no mood for flippancy.
- Facts, if you please. - Yes, facts.
- You are an American woman? - We'll ask the questions.
- What is the name of the man? - Yes.
- Johnny. - Johnny what?
I see you do not believe in lipstick.
And what a curious way to do your hair, or rather not to do it.
Wait a minute. Do you know who you're taking to?
An American woman, and I'm a little disappointed, to tell you the truth.
We apparently have a false idea about the chic American woman.
- I suppose it's publicity from Hollywood. - You're being impertinent.
Well, I must go back now. There's a curfew for German civilians, you know.
There sure is.
Frulein von Schltow, we increased our national debt
by some $350 billion to win this war. I would regard it as a waste
- if we didn't eliminate types like you. - Like you.
Perhaps if you would change the line of your eyebrows a little.
Gute Nacht.
Gute Nacht, Captain... whatever your name is.
What nerve. What colossal nerve.
We have to remember what they've been through.
All those bombings left them kind of wobbly up here.
- I do look awful without make-up. - You don't.
We were only allowed 60lbs of luggage. No nonessentials.
Never listen to another woman if you want to know how you look. Ask a man.
- Come on, ask me. - I know how I look.
You look charming, positively, definitely, absolutely charming...
in a... refreshing sort of way.
- Are you being polite? - Who wants perfume?
Give me the fresh wet smell of lowa corn right after it rains.
We had little rain this year, wonderful corn weather.
I'm sure glad to hear that.
- Now to get back to that woman. - Must we?
To be as insulting as that, she must feel awfully safe.
Or just bluffing.
The man behind her must be really important.
A general or a colonel.
A colonel at least.
What's the full name of that colonel?
- Colonel? - That Colonel Plummer.
- Rufus J Plummer. - J for what?
J for John.
Do you think?
No, not him. It couldn't be him. He's a married man. A West Pointer.
I've heard of married men, of West Pointers, even.
- But not Plummer, ma'am, I swear. - There was a look in his eye.
If we could only get our hands on her file. Who told you it was sent to Nrnberg?
- Second Lieutenant Cook, in charge of files. - Maybe he's covering up for his colonel.
- I'll ask him tomorrow morning. - No. We'll go there now.
- Where? - To the files.
In the middle of the night? Shouldn't we get permission?
Did we get permission to land in Normandy? Let's go.
Schltow, Schltow.
S... SA...
SCH to ST. This is where it would be.
If it is at all, but I don't think it is.
- Well, let's make good and sure. - Sure.
Come on, open it.
Schlage, Schlangenberg, Schlagenspitz, Schlitz...
Seems that some of them never got to Milwaukee.
Schliemann, Schlssel, Schltow...
- There. - Here's the Schltows.
Anton, Emil, Fritz, Gottfried, Waldemar...
- No Erika. - No Erika.
Told you so. Gone to Nrnberg. Gone to Nrnberg.
I'll take you back to your billet.
Erika von Schltow.
- Yes? - It's under von.
Oh, no.
Like O'Brien. You wouldn't look under B, you'd look under O.
- All right, let's look under O. - Under V.
- V as in vindictive. - What was that, Captain?
I pity anybody who has you on his trail.
You pity a man who's consorting with a notorious Nazi?
Von Resnicek, von Reudesheim...
Did it occur to you there might be extenuating circumstances?
I expect any man in his country's uniform...
Oh, that one. You expect him to be an ambassador.
A salesman of goodwill. You want him to stand on the blackened rubble
of what used to be the corner of a street
with a sample case of assorted freedoms,
waving the flag and the Bill of Rights.
That's not the way it works.
Suppose you stop and ask yourself how come he skidded of the road?
- I'll tell you how. No moral brakes. - That's it, going too fast.
During the war, he couldn't go fast enough.
"Get on that beachhead, through the tank traps, across the Rhine. Step on it."
Faster, 100 miles an hour, 24 hours a day through burning towns.
Then one day the war is over.
You expect him to jam on those brakes and stop like that.
Everybody can't stop like that!
Sometimes you skid, sometimes you go into a spin and smash into a tree
and bash your fenders and scrape those fine ideals you brought from home.
It's time such wrecks were hauled into a garage.
- Anyone who forgets he's American... - Don't forget he's also human.
What would you know about that?
Von Schlegel, von Schlittenheim...
The loneliness is stored up right down to his boots and it's driving him crazy.
One day a pair of open-toed shoes come along.
You want him to ask questions? Party affiliation? Social Security number?
Yes, I want him to make sure he's not doing something subversive.
Are you qualified to call the pitch on this? What's your life, anyway?
Committees and sessions and adjournments
and budget cuts and appropriations.
What do you do for laughs? What do you do for tears for that matter?
For tears... for tears I cry, Captain Pringle.
It may interest you to know I once cried for a man
till my eyes were half washed out of my head.
Not really.
I was on an important subcommittee. One was a Southern Democrat.
His convictions were utterly different from mine.
I hated everything he stood for. I despised his politics.
But I loved him... insanely.
I loved the Southern syrup in his voice.
His mint julep manners.
The way he'd look at me through his long thick eyelashes
when I was vetoing an amendment.
He'd put his arm around me, just kind of lazy, like.
Lean his head against my cheek.
His hair had a deep wave in it.
- You know what he was trying to do? - What?
He was trying to sway my vote.
Once he drove me home from an all-night meeting,
stopped his car on Earl Street.
For no reason at all, he said, except he was yearning for my lips.
To tell you the truth, I was yearning for his.
But it would have meant betraying my platform and my constituents.
- What did you do? - I filibustered.
- You what? - I just kept on talking.
The constitution, the Bill of Rights, poems, Longfellow, anything I could think of.
Von Schloss, von Schlotzing, von Schlumann, von Schlrmann,
von...
- No other man since the mint julep guy? - No.
- No more what you call yearning? - No.
- Sure? - None of your business.
I've been doing a little yearning ever since you stepped off that plane.
Captain Pringle!
- Don't! - Why not? You're not a Nazi.
Don't tell me it's subversive to kiss a Republican.
I am a Congresswoman.
Yeah. Now I know how I'll cast my absentee ballot come re-election.
- I'm here on official business. - This is official.
Oh! Now, listen.
Listen.
"Listen, my children, and you shall hear of the midnight ride of Paul Revere
"On the 18th of April in '75, hardly a man is now alive
"Who remembers that famous day and year
"He said to his friend, 'lf the British march by land or sea from the town tonight
"'Hang a lantern aloft in the belfry arch of the North Church tower as a signal light
"'One if by land and two if by sea
"'And I on the opposite shore shall be ready to ride and spread the alarm
"'Through every Middlesex village and farm
"'For the country folk to be up and to arm... '
"Then he said 'Good night! ' And, with muffled oar, silent..." Oh!
(Moans)
Now, Congresswoman, may I have the floor?
You are entirely out of order.
Objection overruled.
Ooh. Oh.
Just, er, checking up on Paul Revere.
Oh, sure.
This is where you live, Congresswoman. This is your billet.
I said we're here. What's the matter?
- I just want to die. - You what?
It's awful. It never should have happened.
Listen, you didn't burn down an orphanage.
You got kissed in a file room. That's all.
- I'm a thief. - Thief?
The lowest kind of a thief, stealing another woman's man.
Yeah?
The cake I brought. The girl you left behind.
She sent a love letter and you fell in love with the postman.
Those things happen, like electrons, positive and negative.
- One day they get together and wham! - No!
No wham.
- We've got to get control of ourselves. - Can we?
It would be wiser not to see each other again.
- I suppose it would. - We can't go on with our investigation.
- So we drop it. - No. No, I'll go on alone.
- I could enlist the help of the general. - No.
Why not?
Miss Frost, Congresswoman, Postman, darling,
to know that you're here and around and I couldn't see you, I'd go crazy.
We've got to be strong.
This business about Dusty, it's not serious. It's just a college crush.
- I have a dreadful sense of guilt. - We're not engaged.
I'm not committed in any way.
It would break her heart, the daughter of the man who swung the 4th Precinct.
No, it won't. She's a kind of a flighty kid, you know.
She's been engaged to four guys since I've been gone,
one of them a feed and grain merchant.
Think what a good provider he'd make.
Oh, John...
I don't even know your first name, Congresswoman darling.
- Phoebe. - Phoebe.
Isn't that ridiculous?
Not a bit ridiculous.
How about a good-night kiss, Phoebe?
Good night.
Good morning.
Good evening.
Good gracious.
(Man) The problem is how to stop all this physical human contact...
We just ought to put our foot down and put it down hard.
- Why, Miss Frost. - Where have you been?
- We've been worried. - Won't you join us?
- Miss Frost? - Miss Frost?
Anything I can do for you?
Not a thing.
Hah... (Wails)
- Hans Otto Birgel. - That's the best we could find, Colonel.
The others without uniform don't show his face so plainly.
Lovely master race type. I bet he never tortured anybody.
Not until he made sure his dachshund had had his dinner.
I want every MP to memorise this puss.
Have 100 copies printed. Send it around with a detailed description.
Will do.
We've got the trap baited with the right cheese.
He'll snap at it, sure as shooting.
- I hope. - (Knock at door)
Come in.
- You wanted to see me, Colonel? - Yes, Miss Frost.
- That'll be all, Major. - Yes, sir.
- How is the investigation going? - The what?
- The investigation. - Oh, fine.
- Making any progress? - Slowly. Why?
It seems, in the course of it, you lost something.
- I have? - This is yours, isn't it?
Yes, thank you very much. Well, I guess I'd better get some hatpins.
It is pretty windy in Berlin, especially at night.
Well, the whole thing can be easily explained.
But I hardly think you're in a position to cast a stone, Colonel Plummer.
- I'm very sorry. - I think you're brazen.
Am I?
- Having that on your desk. - Having what on my desk?
I know all about that going 100 miles an hour, then the war is over
but you can't stop like that.
But there is such a thing as discretion.
- What discretion? - Is this your family?
Yes, and this is our house in Indiana.
- How long have you been married? - 22 years.
Oh, no. Perhaps it would be a good idea if you sent for your wife.
She can't come now. We're expecting a baby.
- A baby? - I mean, our older daughter is.
I can understand the temptation of a young man over here but a grandfather...
Really, Colonel Plummer, you should have your brakes relined.
John. John, now I know.
- Good morning. - Good morning.
- I found out. There can't be any doubt. - What?
- He even has her picture. - Who?
- Colonel Plummer. - Whose?
- That woman's. - How come?
I mean, what for?
To look at. He can't keep his eyes off her.
It must be a mistake. Maybe it's somebody who looks like her.
Should I talk it over with the general?
- I wouldn't. Not the general. - (Buzzer)
Excuse me. Denazification office, Captain Pringle speaking.
- Who? - Johnny, what has happened?
Why didn't you come last night? I waited for you.
Johnny, are you listening?
Of course I am, Lieutenant... Forrestal.
Lieutenant Forrestal, quartermasters.
Well, Lieutenant, I'm sorry I couldn't make it. I'm pretty busy these days.
Johnny, what's the matter? This is Erika. How you talk to me!
Lieutenant, it should not be too difficult to grasp the situation.
I wonder how he got through officers school.
Oh, someone is with you, is that it?
That is correct, Lieutenant Forrestal.
Is this the son of the secretary of the Navy? Let me speak with him.
No, this is the army Forrestal, absolutely no relation.
Lieutenant, I assure you I'll see you as soon as it's practical.
It may be late, possibly after your office hours.
- I miss you so, Johnny. I love you. - I'll make a note of that.
Goodbye, Lieutenant.
Nice kid. We went through basic training together.
Now, what am I to do about the Colonel?
- I don't know. - Could he be transferred to Japan?
I don't think so, not Japan. Not with Tokyo Rose around.
- What do you suggest? - What do I suggest?
- What do I suggest? Come on! - Where are you taking me?
Brent, take over for me. I won't be back today.
Where are you taking me? We have a meeting with the general.
You don't want to see the general, you want to see me. I want to see you.
So little time, so much to say. Don't let's waste a minute.
- My investigation... - I'll handle it after you go.
Send you a full report to Washington.
These few days are ours. They're all we've got.
You dreadful man.
Come on. Let's get the Jeep and drive out to Wannsee.
It's wide and green and I know a spot that looks like a bend in the Mississippi.
Let's.
(Brakes screech, horn honks)
Johnny, come on.
- Faster. Faster. - Hi.
Two days and two nights, what has mein kleiner Liebling being doing?
He's been making charm with the bloodhounds.
How are things going with the Congresswoman?
- All right. We're engaged. - You're what?
Better than having my head chopped off.
- I didn't know you were that deep in. - What deep? How deep?
Why didn't you tell me you and Birgel were like that?
- He's dead. - Having your hand kissed by Hitler.
I hope you had it sterilised.
Looked as if he had rat poison in that moustache.
Don't talk like that.
Why not? How much of a Nazi were you, anyway?
Johnny, what does it matter, a woman's politics?
Women pick out whatever's in fashion and change it like a spring hat.
Yeah. Last year it was a little number with a swastika on it.
This year it's ostrich feathers, red, white and blue.
Next year a hammer, maybe, and a sickle.
Oh, Johnny, we must not say mean words to each other.
When you say you are engaged, that is only until her plane leaves, huh?
What else?
- I love you so very much. - You do?
You're the only man I ever wanted to marry.
That's mighty white of you.
I want to go with you to America. I want to climb up the Statue of Liberty.
You want to get down that basement at Fort Knox.
I want to be where you are.
Yeah, I can just imagine you in lowa in blue jeans,
going on a hay ride to the old mill.
I would love that.
Mmm, gently, baby, it's Mother's Day.
Cut it out, you blonde flamethrower.
Cut it out, I said.
Did you ever kiss the Congresswoman?
Sure I did.
- Did she kiss you? - What kind of a question is that?
It's a very important question. What do you do when you're alone together?
Oh... we sit, hold hands...
- whistle Shine On Harvest Moon. - (Laughs)
- What's so funny? - You hold hands?
Sure. Nice people do, you know.
You're so naive, you Americans.
So we are. So what of it?
That funny little woman with a face like a scrubbed kitchen floor.
Yeah?
I have some vodka from the Russian sector and I had the phonograph fixed.
- Would you like to hear some music? - No thanks.
- Thanks a lot but no thanks. - You're going?
- I got an early formation. - You'll come back tomorrow night?
I imagine so, sterling character that I am.
So long.
(J Pringle whistling Shine On Harvest Moon)
- Miss Frost? - Miss Frost?
- We're waiting for you. - Dinner, Miss Frost.
- Did you call me? - It's a quarter of eight.
We're going to the officers' mess for dinner.
I was sort of planning on a quiet evening.
Don't you feel well, Miss Frost?
I feel fine. I have a kind of a headache, that's all.
Would you make my excuses to the colonel?
- Sure will. - Shall we bring you a sandwich maybe?
Cheese? Chicken? Ham?
Anything. Thank you very much. Good evening, gentlemen.
Maybe we shouldn't leave her alone.
Maybe we should take her temperature. Quite a lot of typhoid fever in Berlin.
Oh, good evening. I came to see Miss Frost.
Go on in. We're going out.
One might suspect Cupid had a hand in this.
If we didn't know Miss Frost. You can't shoot an arrow through steel.
Phoebe... Phoebe!
(J Whistling Shine On Harvest Moon)
Coming, John.
(Whistles appreciatively)
Well!
- Do I look all right? - Where did you get it?
- At the Brandenburg Gate. - The black market? You didn't.
Well, I did. All I wanted was a lipstick and something for my eyebrows
but a woman had this over the handlebars of her bicycle
and I gave her my typewriter for it.
The shoes were six extra typewriter ribbons.
- Phoebe, for the love of Mike. - Don't scold me.
I know I shouldn't have but I simply had to.
This is our last evening and I wanted to look so pretty and I look just awful.
It's like a circus tent in mourning for an elephant that died.
- It's no such thing. - I'm not blind.
I tried to fix it but maybe I'd better go up and put my suit on.
It is kind of high. What is it, a turtleneck evening gown?
Well, it was a little lower but I fixed it.
You sure did.
Now, we takes this pin from here, where it's just in the way,
and put it back here where it can earn its pay.
It looked so lovely on the bicycle.
Now, stop it. You dressed for me and to me you look good.
John, where did you learn so much about women's clothes?
My mother wore women's clothes.
Oh, John, you're simply adorable. Do you know it?
Who am I to argue with a Congresswoman?
You've got too much junk on your mouth.
- Have I? - Now, hold still.
Now... we're in business.
We forgot your sable.
Oh...
You'll be quite a thing at that officers' mess.
- I don't want to go there. - Where do you want to eat?
I thought some civilian place.
In Berlin?
The place where that singer... You know, that place.
- You don't want to go to that sewer. - Yes, I do.
I want it dark and gay and with music.
J Want to buy some illusions slightly used?
J Second-hand
J They were lovely illusions, reaching high
J Built on sand
J They had a touch of paradise
J A spell you can't explain
J For in this crazy paradise
J You are in love with pain
J Want to buy some illusions slightly used?
J Just like new
J Such romantic illusions
J And they're all about you
J I'd sell them all for a penny
J They make pretty souvenirs
J Take my lovely illusions
J Some for laughs
J Some for tears J
- Look, it's a hollow bottle. - That's where the profit is.
There should be a Congressional investigation.
- Second the motion. - Let's investigate another bottle first.
- More champagne. - Jawohl.
Hold my hand, John.
Sure.
Oh, John...
I'm so happy, I'm in heaven.
Not that I was unhappy before.
I was just drifting.
That's it. Drifting on a grey sea all alone.
It's not bad but suddenly you get scared.
You need another voice, so you hoist up your heart and you wait
and nobody passes by, just grey waves.
Your heart gets frayed, lashed by the night winds and rain.
So you haul it down, what's left of it, and you resign yourself...
Then suddenly out of nowhere comes a boat so unexpected,
all white sails on the horizon.
To you, my beautiful boat.
Phoebe, you make me feel awful.
Well, you are beautiful and you're fun and you're good to me.
Stop it. I'm not that good. Some day you may find...
You talk an awful lot for a boat.
To us.
(J Vocalising)
J Want to buy some illusions slightly used?
J Just like new
J Such romantic illusions
J And they're all about you
J I'd sell them all for a penny
J They make pretty souvenirs
J Take my lovely illusions
J Some for love
J Some for tears J
(Cheering and applause)
- Good evening. - May I?
- Get another glass, John. - No thank you.
My, look at the kitchen floor.
- Look at what? - Such a change.
This dress. This dress is from lowa?
Oh, no, Berlin. Do you like it?
It's stunning but haven't you got it on backwards? And the hair.
What did you put in those pigtails, shoelaces?
- I like it. - He likes it.
I shouldn't have mentioned the eyebrows. Now her face looks bow-legged.
Miss von Schltow, I think the pianist is looking for you.
Have you ever made any progress hunting down that man?
- What man? - My man.
Oh.
Oh, a little progress, only that's all been postponed on account of another man.
Look at him. Isn't he beautiful?
Phoebe, please. She always kids me like that.
- I know he's not pretty but he's beautiful. - When are you leaving Berlin?
- Tomorrow. It's our last night together. - Too bad.
What he doesn't know is he's going too.
- I am? - I talked it over with the general.
- It was to be a surprise. - It is.
- I can't go. - Yes, you can.
He hasn't had a furlough in four years.
This is a bolt from the blue. I didn't have the slightest, faintest...
Miss von Schltow, isn't it time for your next number?
There'll be no next number tonight.
May I steal one of your American cigarettes?
Hey, Pringle. John, the Colonel's looking for you.
- Colonel? - Yelling his head off.
He's got enough blood in his eye to sell by the pint.
- What does he want? - I don't know. Get down to his office.
Check! Check! Er... (Speaks German)
Go on. I'll take care of the check. Hurry.
- I'll drop you on the way. - I'll take Miss Frost home. Get going.
Why are you going? It's so nice here.
- I got to go. Didn't you hear? - I forbid you.
- Phoebe, this is the army. - I don't want you to go.
I got to go.
All right. You're in contempt of Congress.
Take care of our friend. Goodbye.
Goodbye, Frulein von Schltow.
- How much? - No, this is on the house.
- Thank you. Ready, Miss Frost? - Sit down. Have some champagne.
Another bottle. (Speaking German)
Sit down.
No, I really shouldn't be in a place like this.
(Hiccups)
(All yelling "Hey" in time with Russian Cossack music)
- Ha! - (All cheer)
J The stars at night are big and bright
J Deep in the heart of Texas
J The prairie sky is wide and high
- J Deep in the heart of Texas - (Man) Yahoo!
J The sage in bloom is like perfume
J Deep in the heart of Texas
J Reminds me of the one I love
J Deep in the heart of Texas J
(All cheering)
Don't suppose you boys know the lowa song?
- Iowa, where's that? - In the United States, silly.
- Since when? - 1846.
No kidding. (Hums)
(Frost hums, off-key)
- Would you like to play it? - We'll play it but we don't like it.
- My old campaign song. - Sing it.
- No. - You must. You asked for it.
Maybe there's some boats around. Who knows? Go on.
J loway, loway
J State of all the land, joy on every hand
J We are from loway, loway
J That's where the tall corn grows
J Fly away, loway
J State of all the land, joy on every hand
- J We are from loway... J - (Speaking German)
J We are from loway, loway
J That's where the tall corn grows J
- Everybody, sing! - (Cheering)
J We are from loway, loway
J State of all the land, joy on every hand
J We are from loway, loway
J That's where the tall corn grows J
(Yelling in Russian)
(Sirens outside)
This is a raid. All military personnel, get out their papers.
(Official speaking German)
(Frost) Whoo-hoo!
Hey. Hey, you.
Who-hoo.
- Hey. - (Speaking German)
Jawohl!
(Laughs)
- Oh, will you... - (Speaking German)
Where are we going?
Pretty hat. Let me try it on.
What's this? What's happening? Where are we going?
- To the police station. This is a raid. - A what?
- A raid. We have one every other week. - That's ridiculous.
They want to check up on our papers.
We Germans have to have our papers in order.
But I'm not a German. They have no right...
Of course they haven't. There's no reason why you should submit to it.
You just tell them who you are and they'll apologise and let you go home.
Only on second thoughts, is it a good idea?
What kind of an impression will it make on us Germans?
A Congresswoman of the United States of America caught at the Lorelei.
And where did the Honourable Miss Frost get that dress?
The black market, maybe?
- Want some coffee, Captain? - No thanks, sir.
- Just as well. This is the only cup. - Yes, sir.
How about a jigger of poison with a hemlock chaser?
More like it, sir.
Captain, I think you have as good a war record as any man in this town.
You were on the first team since Normandy and you sure carried the ball.
I know you were among the first ten men to cross the Remagen Bridge.
I also know why you were in such a hurry.
Did you know what a hot potato you had on your hands?
Well, not quite, sir. I... had a hunch it was warm, all right.
Sometimes I wonder if it isn't a waste of money
to import 11,000 ping-pong tables for the recreation of you young men.
Captain, you might as well realise
we've been wise to you and the von Schltow woman all along.
I kind of figured you were peeking.
The army has been counting on you for a certain pattern of behaviour.
- You let us down but good. - Sorry, sir.
Since that committee arrived, you've been playing a double bill
with the lady from lowa in the upper half.
I'd appreciate it if you leave her out of this, sir.
You would?
Pressure has been exerted to have you go back to the United States for a while.
- So I've heard. - You're not going of course.
Of course. When do proceedings start, sir?
Captain Pringle, you're to stay away from that certain party, off limits.
Suits me fine. It was all washed up anyway as far as I'm concerned.
Let's get this straight. You're to stay away from the Congresswoman.
Oh?
Pick up that torch for Frulein von Schltow,
light it again and carry it in public, that's an order.
- Well, how do you do. - You've heard of Hans Otto Birgel?
- That was her guy. - He's hiding out in the American zone.
- He's dead. - He's very much alive.
And thanks to you, he's kicking.
We had a hunch about him so we watched Miss von Schltow.
Here are three letters we intercepted.
Someone tipped him off that his girl has been seeing an American officer.
He's a jealous rat. He says he's going to come out and kill you both.
- That's cute. - Now, go on back and fan those flames.
Stick around the Frulein until he shows.
I wish I'd never crossed the Remagen Bridge.
Sorry, son, that's the way it reads.
OK, I'm going. Only I think I'll have that coffee first.
Never mind the cup. Just give me a spoonful of the powder.
(Speaking German)
- Do you have your passport with you? - No.
You just tell them who you are and they check with the army officials.
- I can't do that. - Why?
What if the German papers pick it up and there are some ugly references?
May never reach Washington.
Of course there's one person who could get you out of all this nastiness.
Me. I could do it.
No names mentioned. No aftereffects.
Just as if it never happened.
Why should you? You don't like me.
It's not generosity. We Germans can't afford to be generous.
We're very poor.
It's give and take if we are to survive.
What have I to give?
- What do you want to take? - (Officer yelling in German)
(Speaking German)
You know what I told him? That you were a country cousin of mine.
Perfectly easy if you have a safe conduct
with the signature of a kind American officer on it.
And you wanted to chop his head off.
Exactly what is it you want from me, Frulein von Schltow?
Let's go up to my apartment. It's only a few ruins away from here.
- No, I'd rather not. - You'd better.
You may need a handkerchief.
This is a beastly thing to do but you must understand what happened to us here.
We all become animals with exactly one instinct left.
Self-preservation.
Take me, Miss Frost. Bombed out a dozen times.
Everything caved in and pulled out from under me.
My country, my possessions, my beliefs.
Yet somehow I kept going.
Months in air-raid shelters crammed in with 5,000 other people.
I kept going.
What do you think it was like to be a woman here when the Russians swept in?
I kept going.
It was a living hell... and then I found a man.
And through that man, a roof and a job and food and...
And I'm not going to lose him.
What has all this to do with me?
A little. You see, you want the same man.
Come on. I told you you'd need a handkerchief.
(J Whistling Shine On Harvest Moon)
This is how he looked when I met him first. He was a lieutenant.
He sat at his desk interrogating me.
He had such a grim, businesslike face,
but fortunately I was wearing my last pair of silk stockings.
He's really a nice boy.
You mustn't judge him by what he did to you.
He hated it. I know.
Of course, he would come here and feel so miserable and sorry for you.
Your plane is leaving tomorrow, isn't it?
Don't sit there as if it was the end of the world. Nothing happened.
He played a dirty trick on you, that's all.
So you fly off back home, wash your hands, wash your lips...
They've got so much soap in the United States.
Sorry. You know this game of love.
If you want to take the advice of an old gambler,
some people are lucky at it, some people are jinxed.
They shouldn't even sit down at the table.
(Car horn honks)
I do not imagine you care to see him again.
Why not go up the stairs where it's dark until he comes in and then leave?
(Car horn honks)
Go on, leave. Haven't you had enough?
What is this, a big scene?
We can't keep a gentleman in the dark, can we?
Four hours ago you could have had him court-martialled
and sent me to a labour camp, not now.
Not any more. Now you're one of us.
Hi.
What's the matter? No kiss for your little Schweinehund?
I'm sorry I had to show up with that Congress dame. She's gone dappy.
Doesn't mean a thing. Leaving tomorrow anyway.
Come on.
Sorry.
I guess this is where the funny man says, "Shall we dance?"
You are not a funny man, Captain Pringle.
But you are quite a dancer.
What a waltz we had.
Good night.
(J Man whistling Daisy, Daisy)
(Man) Shh! Hey, Frulein! (2nd man) Hey, Frulein!
(Both yelling in German)
(Man) Hey, Frulein! (2nd man) Hey, Frulein!
Ein moment, Frulein!
Holy mackerel!
The last time we had one of these, it lasted 11 days.
You're a great comfort.
You can't get to Washington soon enough, can you, to dash off that black Berlin report?
No report at all, Colonel Plummer.
- No? - I came here as an objective observer.
Some things have happened which automatically disqualify me.
Aren't you taking it a little big?
- You know nothing whatever about it. - I got a hunch.
In a way, I'm glad you took off the blinkers and wandered away on your own.
It's a big mess we're trying to clean up. There's a lot of rubble.
Rubble of all kinds, vegetable, mineral and animal.
You walk around on it, you're apt to get conked on the head by a loose brick.
Stop it, please. I've had about all I can stand.
(Plummer) I'm sorry but I feel a little responsible about that loose brick, Pringle.
- Colonel, please. - I'm not trying to whitewash him.
There isn't enough paint in Germany for that
but let me scrape together something in his defence.
- I'm not listening. - Take it from me.
He won't get off scot-free.
As a matter of fact, he's started to pay already.
It's no fun to walk around with a target pinned on your chest.
I'd appreciate it if you'd leave me alone.
How's about some reading matter for the plane?
Those aren't teardrops. I was washing my hands when he asked me to give it to you.
All right, I'll put it right there.
Colonel Plummer, it's clearing. We should be taking off in about 20 minutes.
- Thank you. - Yes, sir.
Gentlemen, I was just informed there will be no flights until tomorrow morning.
Now, we might as well get ourselves back into town.
Sorry, Miss Frost. We're going to wait for the fog to lift a little.
J Amidst the ruins of Berlin
J Trees are in bloom as they have never been
J Sometimes at night you feel in all your sorrow
J Her perfume as of a sweet tomorrow
J That's when you realise at last
J They won't return the phantoms of the past
J A brand new spring is to begin
J Out of the ruins of Berlin
J Amidst the ruins of Berlin
J Trees are in bloom as they have never been... J
(Speaking in German)
Hans Otto Birgel.
J Amidst the ruins of Berlin
J Trees are in bloom as they have never been
J Sometimes at night you feel in all your sorrow
J Her perfume as of a sweet tomorrow
J That's when you realise at last
J They won't return the phantoms of the past
J A brand new spring is to begin
J Out of the ruins of Berlin J
(J Singing in German)
(J Singing in French)
(J Singing in Russian)
(J Singing in German)
(J Singing in French)
(J Singing in Russian)
(Cheering and applause)
(Gunshots, screaming)
So we followed her all day until the five o'clock shadow showed.
- Sure enough, she was Hermann. - Well, doggone.
You sure spin some tall tales.
Yeah, well, how about this? Hans Otto Birgel.
Big Gestapo man hiding out underground.
The only lead we have is that he's still crazy about a former lady friend,
a nightclub singer somewhere in the American sector.
Herr Birgel suspects she's two-timing him so he crawls out of his hole.
Only he doesn't crawl fast enough.
So we play it up a little with the help of an American officer.
A captain, to be exact.
Make a fancy story in a Sunday supplement someday.
- The Love Commando. - (Woman) Ha.
Here's their angle. The Captain isn't very keen for the assignment,
having fallen for somebody else in the meantime.
You know how they cook it up with a lot of marshmallow on top.
Then the story of how they got the poison into Gring's cell.
- (Whistles blowing) - There were two scrub women...
Sorry, sir. The car has to pull in. Keeping the street open for the ambulance.
- What's up? - Trouble at the Lorelei.
- Birgel showed up. There was shooting. - (Plummer) Who got it?
- I don't know, sir. - Excuse me, gentlemen.
Perhaps you'd want to come along, Miss Frost.
Hey!
(J Singing drunkenly in Russian)
Mm-hm. Two plugs right through the kisser.
No.
- It was an ugly kisser anyway. - It was not.
He was no good and he's dead and it's OK by me.
Ohh...
No sense of humour.
Take care of her, lover boy.
(Humming mournfully)
- All right, clean up the mess. - Yes, sir.
Find him a slab before the Russkies start tossing him up to the ceiling.
Go on home!
Come on, break it up, let's go. All right.
(Humming stops)
Where are you taking me?
Looks like you've got a date with five million von bricks.
I have a paper saying I'm on the white list.
We know how you got it and it wasn't,
if you'll pardon the non-Aryan expression, kosher.
You do not understand. There's a mix-up.
Yeah. We just sent part of it off to the morgue.
- Just ask Captain Pringle. - Forget Captain Pringle.
How could I ever forget him? He's so nice. I will miss him terribly.
- Please tell him. - No soap.
And no chocolate, no cigarettes.
Tough.
Tell me, Colonel, are you that wonderful Colonel Plummer?
That's me, only most of the time they call me delicious.
Colonel, if I could come to your office tomorrow sometime,
when you're not too busy.
Miss von Schltow, I've become a grandfather today.
Let's not be silly.
She's all yours.
Can they take me by my apartment so I can change?
- I guess so. - Come on, boys.
Has it stopped raining?
If there are any puddles, you'll carry me, won't you, boys?
You two, watch out for those two.
(Both) Yes, sir.
- And you watch out for them. - That ought to do it.
He said there were two plugs in your kisser.
There ought to be. I'm sorry about everything.
- Except the time with you. - Take that away.
It's true. With all the headaches ahead, you'll be my aspirin.
That's nice, but what about my headache?
You're on your way back home.
You'll be all right by the time you fasten your seat belt.
I love you, John.
No, you don't. I'm just a hit-and-run boy.
The kind of guy you need is somebody to marry.
Well?
Oh, no. I'm not somebody anybody marries.
You need somebody respectable, a senator, a Supreme Court judge,
maybe... somebody from the Smithsonian Institute.
I know who I want.
Not me, I'm a heel, a certified heel.
I got documents to prove it.
Listen...
"Listen, my children, and you shall hear of the midnight ride of Paul Revere
"On the 18th of April in '75, hardly a man is now alive who remembers..."
(Glass smashing)
Oh...