1
00:00:49,759 --> 00:00:50,780
各位鬼大哥

2
00:00:50,783 --> 00:00:52,637
我现在烧点零用钱给你们用

3
00:00:52,638 --> 00:00:54,688
不要客气啊 尽管拿去花

4
00:00:57,311 --> 00:00:58,464
我见过的人很多

5
00:00:58,656 --> 00:00:59,647
我还从来没见过

6
00:00:59,648 --> 00:01:01,629
像你这么婆婆妈妈的男人

7
00:01:02,080 --> 00:01:03,260
什么叫婆婆妈妈

8
00:01:03,264 --> 00:01:04,220
今天是七月半

9
00:01:04,223 --> 00:01:06,238
所以烧点零用钱给那些鬼用啊

10
00:01:06,719 --> 00:01:08,120
做人没钱已经够糗了

11
00:01:08,129 --> 00:01:09,438
做鬼没钱那不更惨吗

12
00:01:14,880 --> 00:01:18,689
喔 哇 一张就是五千万

13
00:01:18,690 --> 00:01:19,930
这些钱加起来

14
00:01:19,937 --> 00:01:21,619
连王永庆都比不上

15
00:01:21,620 --> 00:01:24,370
做鬼比做人好 我宁愿去做鬼

16
00:01:24,373 --> 00:01:25,909
你别急 很快就轮到你了

17
00:01:26,675 --> 00:01:27,219
哼

18
00:01:30,931 --> 00:01:32,660
上面叫我们到坑口去查案

19
00:01:36,083 --> 00:01:36,914
闸门打开了

20
00:01:36,915 --> 00:01:38,990
一大群马一字排开冲了出来

21
00:01:38,995 --> 00:01:40,466
三号大力士领先了

22
00:01:40,467 --> 00:01:41,260
它领先了半个马头

23
00:01:41,267 --> 00:01:43,059
啊 大力士一路领先了

24
00:01:43,060 --> 00:01:44,371
加点油啊 跑快点

25
00:01:44,372 --> 00:01:46,003
第一名一定跑不掉了

26
00:01:46,004 --> 00:01:49,100
加点油 哇 这次我赢定了

27
00:01:49,108 --> 00:01:51,217
第三名是六号的龙腾虎跃

28
00:01:51,219 --> 00:01:53,140
大力士反而到了第四名

29
00:01:53,428 --> 00:01:56,403
嗯 妈的 这匹烂马总是后劲不足

30
00:01:56,405 --> 00:01:57,172
干脆跳楼算了

31
00:01:57,970 --> 00:01:59,500
你每次都说要跳楼

32
00:01:59,509 --> 00:02:00,724
你怎么老没摔死啊

33
00:02:11,606 --> 00:02:12,758
没什么状况 走吧

34
00:02:13,174 --> 00:02:15,639
哎 依据警长刚讲的

35
00:02:15,640 --> 00:02:17,495
没状况并不表示没问题

36
00:02:17,975 --> 00:02:19,510
闭上你的乌鸦嘴好不好

37
00:02:19,702 --> 00:02:21,173
快点 我女儿等我回去吃饭呢

38
00:02:21,782 --> 00:02:23,640
少来了 你还不是想去见女朋友

39
00:02:23,959 --> 00:02:25,046
关你什么事

40
00:02:25,334 --> 00:02:27,701
你不走我走了 你干脆走路回去吧

41
00:02:27,863 --> 00:02:28,853
没几条街就到

42
00:02:57,852 --> 00:02:58,364
干什么的

43
00:03:06,493 --> 00:03:07,259
不许动 警察

44
00:03:22,660 --> 00:03:23,205
不许动

45
00:03:31,599 --> 00:03:32,077
还跑

46
00:03:44,782 --> 00:03:45,519
你还想跑

47
00:03:45,520 --> 00:03:48,550
不要动 哼 如果你再动

48
00:03:48,559 --> 00:03:50,862
当心我一枪打烂你的头

49
00:03:54,382 --> 00:03:55,727
你糗大了

50
00:04:01,170 --> 00:04:03,120
你个死老鬼

51
00:04:03,631 --> 00:04:04,241
你好臭

52
00:04:04,784 --> 00:04:07,215
哎哟 这叫有味道

53
00:04:07,216 --> 00:04:08,527
看不到我的样子

54
00:04:08,529 --> 00:04:10,994
就闻到我的香味了

55
00:04:20,051 --> 00:04:21,160
手脚利落点啊

56
00:04:21,169 --> 00:04:21,808
是

57
00:04:22,578 --> 00:04:25,521
不行啊 要是真在货仓找到什么证据

58
00:04:25,522 --> 00:04:26,515
他一个人搞得定吗

59
00:04:28,329 --> 00:04:29,385
我还是回去看一看

60
00:04:36,171 --> 00:04:36,875
啊

61
00:04:40,139 --> 00:04:42,667
阿标 阿标

62
00:04:46,060 --> 00:04:47,116
寿西斯古

63
00:04:49,261 --> 00:04:49,900
马可斯

64
00:04:50,573 --> 00:04:51,916
难道说我已经死了

65
00:04:52,845 --> 00:04:56,390
赌鬼警察借高利贷无法偿还

66
00:04:56,397 --> 00:04:57,130
只有自杀

67
00:04:57,483 --> 00:04:58,445
哎 这写得不对

68
00:04:58,604 --> 00:05:00,363
我是追查贩毒集团被人谋杀的

69
00:05:00,957 --> 00:05:02,686
你知不知道是谁杀了你

70
00:05:02,687 --> 00:05:04,124
我没看清楚他的样子

71
00:05:04,286 --> 00:05:06,878
那你愿不愿意承认是自杀呢

72
00:05:07,068 --> 00:05:08,475
呃 我不承认

73
00:05:08,637 --> 00:05:10,684
嗯 那就死因不明喽

74
00:05:11,135 --> 00:05:11,900
呃 大人

75
00:05:11,902 --> 00:05:13,694
能不能让我回去重新调查一下

76
00:05:14,398 --> 00:05:17,470
你以为这里是宾馆呢 可以随便出入

77
00:05:17,475 --> 00:05:19,516
大人 你我都是公务员

78
00:05:19,518 --> 00:05:21,152
能不能给我行个方便呢

79
00:05:21,153 --> 00:05:25,023
嗯 方便 那就要看你懂不懂规矩喽

80
00:05:25,310 --> 00:05:27,069
呃 规矩

81
00:05:32,222 --> 00:05:33,118
哎 这合用吗

82
00:05:33,435 --> 00:05:34,812
哎…合用

83
00:05:34,814 --> 00:05:35,230
我走了

84
00:05:35,231 --> 00:05:38,930
哎 慢点 哎 你回去有两件事情要记着

85
00:05:38,936 --> 00:05:41,561
如果有这种痣的就是你的救星

86
00:05:41,562 --> 00:05:42,100
哦…

87
00:05:42,103 --> 00:05:43,737
如果是这样的就是你的克星

88
00:05:43,738 --> 00:05:44,151
哦…

89
00:05:44,152 --> 00:05:46,649
哎 还有 这是私人的礼物

90
00:05:47,097 --> 00:05:47,608
干什么

91
00:05:47,865 --> 00:05:49,433
里面有很多符咒你用得着的

92
00:05:49,656 --> 00:05:51,129
符咒 我怎么找救星啊

93
00:05:51,608 --> 00:05:53,912
你是警察 当然是回警察局去找啊

94
00:05:54,235 --> 00:05:54,903
警察局

95
00:06:16,923 --> 00:06:17,880
哎…

96
00:06:17,884 --> 00:06:18,450
嗯

97
00:06:18,459 --> 00:06:20,251
坐好 几号房

98
00:06:20,634 --> 00:06:21,946
嗯 一号

99
00:06:31,772 --> 00:06:32,349
一号

100
00:06:40,475 --> 00:06:41,020
二号

101
00:06:49,663 --> 00:06:50,175
三号

102
00:07:14,373 --> 00:07:15,525
哎 玩个游戏

103
00:07:20,903 --> 00:07:21,479
牌子给我

104
00:07:24,296 --> 00:07:25,063
猜中就是你的

105
00:07:26,727 --> 00:07:27,590
看清楚哦…

106
00:07:38,889 --> 00:07:39,401
再玩一次

107
00:07:39,686 --> 00:07:40,456
哎 教官来了

108
00:07:50,538 --> 00:07:51,040
哎

109
00:07:51,049 --> 00:07:51,751
嗯

110
00:07:52,040 --> 00:07:52,552
嗯

111
00:08:10,090 --> 00:08:11,338
哼 你真行啊

112
00:08:13,546 --> 00:08:15,114
不过没有用 我来分

113
00:08:28,364 --> 00:08:29,101
一号

114
00:08:29,581 --> 00:08:30,189
二号

115
00:08:30,476 --> 00:08:31,116
三号

116
00:08:36,428 --> 00:08:37,005
嗯

117
00:08:37,517 --> 00:08:38,062
不要嘛

118
00:08:38,348 --> 00:08:41,902
哼哼 进来 不要怕

119
00:08:43,500 --> 00:08:44,012
过去

120
00:08:46,573 --> 00:08:47,151
把裤子脱掉

121
00:08:47,630 --> 00:08:48,237
啊

122
00:08:49,037 --> 00:08:49,516
快点

123
00:08:51,598 --> 00:08:52,143
等一下

124
00:09:01,710 --> 00:09:02,285
你干什么

125
00:09:02,479 --> 00:09:04,010
呃 挡一下嘛

126
00:09:04,014 --> 00:09:05,710
哼哼 挡得住吗

127
00:09:05,712 --> 00:09:07,693
嗯 哎 挡住…

128
00:09:07,694 --> 00:09:08,912
啊 我看到了

129
00:09:09,327 --> 00:09:10,544
他们看不到嘛

130
00:09:10,960 --> 00:09:11,601
转过身去

131
00:09:19,120 --> 00:09:20,879
这臭小子是我的救星

132
00:09:21,135 --> 00:09:21,648
趴下

133
00:09:23,440 --> 00:09:24,175
趴下干什么

134
00:09:24,688 --> 00:09:26,608
给你做深入检查 趴下

135
00:09:27,218 --> 00:09:27,855
深入检查

136
00:09:28,080 --> 00:09:28,680
快点

137
00:09:28,687 --> 00:09:29,872
喂…不…

138
00:09:29,873 --> 00:09:30,280
趴下

139
00:09:30,289 --> 00:09:32,334
我的救星 天知道谁救谁

140
00:09:32,335 --> 00:09:33,745
不要…

141
00:09:33,747 --> 00:09:34,609
定

142
00:09:34,976 --> 00:09:39,616
好 你趴下 让我深入检查 趴下…

143
00:09:50,318 --> 00:09:52,014
小姐 你最好跟我们合作点

144
00:09:52,622 --> 00:09:54,150
我不是跟你很合作吗

145
00:09:54,157 --> 00:09:55,498
谁叫你在那边坐台的

146
00:09:55,499 --> 00:09:57,740
坐台 什么叫坐台 警官

147
00:09:57,741 --> 00:09:59,212
少耍花样了 死丫头

148
00:09:59,439 --> 00:10:00,748
谁跟你耍花样啊

149
00:10:00,749 --> 00:10:02,340
是你叫我坐在这里的

150
00:10:02,350 --> 00:10:04,013
哈 你还敢顶嘴啊

151
00:10:04,877 --> 00:10:06,670
我哪敢乱顶啊

152
00:10:06,671 --> 00:10:07,311
还说没顶

153
00:10:08,909 --> 00:10:11,566
你有病啊 只有你能顶我

154
00:10:11,856 --> 00:10:13,359
我哪敢乱顶你啊

155
00:10:20,560 --> 00:10:21,068
早

156
00:10:22,766 --> 00:10:23,311
长官

157
00:10:26,127 --> 00:10:27,631
Hi 长官

158
00:10:31,792 --> 00:10:34,064
打搅你一下 你好吗

159
00:10:35,248 --> 00:10:36,240
有人在家吗

160
00:10:37,649 --> 00:10:38,350
对不起

161
00:10:45,552 --> 00:10:46,161
怎么是你

162
00:10:46,609 --> 00:10:47,087
是我

163
00:10:47,633 --> 00:10:48,304
你是谁

164
00:10:48,978 --> 00:10:50,578
警员1997今天来报到

165
00:10:52,976 --> 00:10:55,506
总部怎么会派这种人来 真是

166
00:11:10,790 --> 00:11:11,876
哎 你干什么

167
00:11:11,876 --> 00:11:13,061
哎 你老爸在叫你

168
00:11:13,285 --> 00:11:13,988
是你老爸

169
00:11:14,564 --> 00:11:15,620
这个人因为好赌

170
00:11:15,622 --> 00:11:16,966
惹上高利贷没钱还

171
00:11:16,967 --> 00:11:19,461
开枪跳楼自杀身亡 还你老爸嘞

172
00:11:19,717 --> 00:11:20,740
对不起 真不好意思

173
00:11:20,741 --> 00:11:21,575
少啰嗦 跟我来

174
00:11:32,584 --> 00:11:33,225
来这干吗

175
00:11:33,766 --> 00:11:34,343
你说呢

176
00:11:35,334 --> 00:11:36,134
哦 好

177
00:11:38,597 --> 00:11:39,909
哎 警官 小便

178
00:11:39,910 --> 00:11:40,392
你猜

179
00:11:45,159 --> 00:11:48,230
抬脚 抬脚啊

180
00:11:48,232 --> 00:11:48,969
干什么

181
00:11:51,047 --> 00:11:51,880
脚拿开

182
00:11:51,885 --> 00:11:52,839
你怎么搞的 大婶

183
00:11:52,840 --> 00:11:54,408
这是男厕所 你进来干什么

184
00:11:54,760 --> 00:11:56,550
你问我进来干什么呀

185
00:11:56,551 --> 00:11:58,440
我拖了十几年的地了

186
00:11:58,442 --> 00:12:00,105
你当我是来参观的

187
00:12:00,265 --> 00:12:04,497
真是的 哎哟 什么大鸟小鸟我没见过呢

188
00:12:08,703 --> 00:12:09,759
真丢人

189
00:12:11,904 --> 00:12:12,605
你侮辱我你

190
00:12:13,377 --> 00:12:14,880
警官 你就别跟她斗嘴了

191
00:12:15,041 --> 00:12:17,118
要是把她惹毛了 你担不起的

192
00:12:17,120 --> 00:12:18,620
哦 她是什么人呢

193
00:12:18,626 --> 00:12:21,408
人间硕果仅存千岁的老处女了

194
00:12:21,409 --> 00:12:23,320
你要是把她七十年欲火挑起来

195
00:12:23,329 --> 00:12:25,473
嘿 我们全警局的人都不够看

196
00:12:27,328 --> 00:12:27,968
你行不行

197
00:12:28,415 --> 00:12:36,001
324 325 326 320…

198
00:12:41,441 --> 00:12:47,456
327 328 329 330 333…

199
00:12:47,458 --> 00:12:48,481
大美人

200
00:12:49,860 --> 00:12:52,803
300…哎呀 我数了多少

201
00:12:52,804 --> 00:12:53,537
332

202
00:12:53,748 --> 00:12:56,277
哎 谢谢你 332

203
00:12:56,278 --> 00:12:58,913
关你个屁事啊 把门关上

204
00:13:02,498 --> 00:13:04,440
哎 你们两个进来干什么

205
00:13:04,448 --> 00:13:06,465
哦 没什么 我带他进来领枪的

206
00:13:06,689 --> 00:13:07,201
过来

207
00:13:09,312 --> 00:13:10,200
编号多少

208
00:13:10,209 --> 00:13:11,330
呃 1997

209
00:13:11,616 --> 00:13:12,609
哦…

210
00:13:24,993 --> 00:13:25,761
在这里签个名

211
00:13:26,370 --> 00:13:27,393
哦…

212
00:13:37,635 --> 00:13:39,330
哎 你是刚来的

213
00:13:39,331 --> 00:13:41,281
我给你个简单的任务

214
00:13:41,569 --> 00:13:43,616
我已经派了两个女警员呢

215
00:13:43,617 --> 00:13:45,470
在一家按摩院中卧底

216
00:13:45,475 --> 00:13:46,850
你上去跟她们联络

217
00:13:46,851 --> 00:13:49,154
等到时机一到呢 你就表露身份

218
00:13:49,155 --> 00:13:50,979
把他们一网打尽 就这么简单

219
00:13:51,172 --> 00:13:52,060
这还简单

220
00:13:52,066 --> 00:13:53,859
废话呢 复杂的找你做吗

221
00:13:55,332 --> 00:13:56,323
卧底是谁

222
00:13:56,324 --> 00:13:58,948
呃 那两个卧底的女警啊

223
00:13:58,949 --> 00:14:00,322
她们都穿着洞洞袜

224
00:14:00,324 --> 00:14:01,731
你到上面只要跟她们说出了

225
00:14:01,732 --> 00:14:03,170
这次行动的暗号之后呢

226
00:14:03,173 --> 00:14:04,004
她们就会接应你

227
00:14:04,005 --> 00:14:05,500
哦 什么暗号

228
00:14:05,509 --> 00:14:06,882
呃 从今开始[越南话]

229
00:14:06,883 --> 00:14:08,030
哦 那你呢

230
00:14:08,037 --> 00:14:09,920
哎 我在这里控制整个行动的进行

231
00:14:09,924 --> 00:14:11,109
随时支援你们呢

232
00:14:11,110 --> 00:14:12,260
就这么决定了 快上去吧

233
00:14:12,261 --> 00:14:14,979
哦 哦 嗯 嗯

234
00:14:16,483 --> 00:14:18,725
嗯 先睡一觉吧 哼

235
00:14:32,126 --> 00:14:34,710
哎 老板 怎么样 要找小姐

236
00:14:34,719 --> 00:14:35,197
哎…

237
00:14:35,199 --> 00:14:37,590
哎 来 这边请啊 你请…

238
00:14:37,598 --> 00:14:39,261
我们的小姐都是一流的

239
00:14:39,262 --> 00:14:40,286
你慢慢看 啊

240
00:14:40,864 --> 00:14:41,503
谢谢

241
00:14:42,303 --> 00:14:44,415
哎 这要挑不到的话 香港就没女人喽

242
00:14:45,482 --> 00:14:46,410
来 你尽管挑

243
00:14:47,242 --> 00:14:49,802
我想先看看她们的腿

244
00:14:49,962 --> 00:14:51,115
样子是不要紧

245
00:14:51,116 --> 00:14:53,132
不过这女人腿要美才行

246
00:14:53,133 --> 00:14:54,443
啊…可以…

247
00:14:54,444 --> 00:14:56,650
来…小姐 把裙子拉高点啊

248
00:14:56,652 --> 00:14:59,339
让老板看一看 哎 拉高点…

249
00:15:03,635 --> 00:15:04,819
哎 怎么样

250
00:15:05,909 --> 00:15:06,578
不错

251
00:15:06,995 --> 00:15:08,590
呃 那你看上哪一个了

252
00:15:08,594 --> 00:15:10,774
呃…全要

253
00:15:12,885 --> 00:15:13,430
全要

254
00:15:13,942 --> 00:15:15,127
呃 不行吗

255
00:15:15,478 --> 00:15:17,970
哎 可以…来…都起来…

256
00:15:17,972 --> 00:15:19,028
老板 祝你玩得愉快

257
00:15:19,354 --> 00:15:24,922
哎哟…来嘛…跟我走了…

258
00:15:24,924 --> 00:15:27,100
别这么猴急嘛…

259
00:15:29,019 --> 00:15:31,291
一次要六个 我靠 真他妈凯子爹

260
00:15:31,963 --> 00:15:34,394
哎呀 你搞什么鬼嘛 弄这么久都还没有弄好

261
00:15:34,396 --> 00:15:37,018
这双网袜弄得我好痒 烦死人了啦

262
00:15:39,165 --> 00:15:40,572
喂 怎么她们不见了

263
00:15:41,085 --> 00:15:42,267
这样不是更好吗

264
00:15:42,268 --> 00:15:43,350
上来接应我们那个家伙

265
00:15:43,356 --> 00:15:44,793
一定不会认错人的

266
00:15:44,795 --> 00:15:45,821
哦…

267
00:15:45,822 --> 00:15:49,020
慢着…不用这么冲动嘛

268
00:15:49,022 --> 00:15:51,195
等一下 听我说句很重要的话

269
00:15:53,309 --> 00:15:54,270
从今开始[越南话]

270
00:15:54,493 --> 00:15:55,770
从今开始[越南话]

271
00:15:55,773 --> 00:15:58,620
香港已对越南船民实施新政策[越南话]

272
00:15:58,622 --> 00:16:00,542
从此以后 凡因经济问题[越南话]

273
00:16:00,543 --> 00:16:02,200
以船民身份进入香港者[越南话]

274
00:16:02,206 --> 00:16:04,123
将被视作非法入境者[越南话]

275
00:16:04,124 --> 00:16:05,371
好棒…好棒啊

276
00:16:05,564 --> 00:16:07,740
不过你们都没有搞懂我的意思

277
00:16:07,745 --> 00:16:11,300
我们懂 我们都是从越南来的

278
00:16:11,302 --> 00:16:15,301
嘿…对不起 我走错地方了

279
00:16:15,302 --> 00:16:16,742
啊 不好意思啊

280
00:16:16,935 --> 00:16:19,490
老大 你不要冲动啊

281
00:16:19,495 --> 00:16:22,181
这就走了…真是的…

282
00:16:22,952 --> 00:16:24,350
臭小子 想干什么

283
00:16:24,359 --> 00:16:26,117
其实我是个大专学生

284
00:16:26,119 --> 00:16:27,752
想做个问卷调查

285
00:16:27,753 --> 00:16:30,270
哎 是关于野鸡…啊 不 就是妓女

286
00:16:30,279 --> 00:16:31,209
学生 哪一系

287
00:16:31,432 --> 00:16:32,010
毛毛系

288
00:16:32,778 --> 00:16:34,118
嗯 毛毛系

289
00:16:34,344 --> 00:16:35,367
鸳鸯毛毛系

290
00:16:36,424 --> 00:16:41,448
呃…哼…也就是那一种…

291
00:16:41,801 --> 00:16:44,200
你会懂的了 告辞了

292
00:16:44,205 --> 00:16:47,175
哎…学生证呢

293
00:16:47,432 --> 00:16:48,807
学生证又不是身份证

294
00:16:48,808 --> 00:16:50,665
不需要随身携带的

295
00:16:50,956 --> 00:16:51,910
你没听过吗

296
00:16:51,914 --> 00:16:54,698
哼 学生 我们才是真正的学生

297
00:16:55,337 --> 00:16:57,032
喽 这是学生证

298
00:16:57,513 --> 00:16:59,530
是吗 哎 你哪一系的

299
00:16:59,531 --> 00:17:02,504
我们是大专社会学系 在黑社会兼差

300
00:17:03,659 --> 00:17:04,810
半工半读

301
00:17:06,826 --> 00:17:10,380
真是令人佩服 继续努力

302
00:17:16,908 --> 00:17:18,890
连警察你也敢非礼

303
00:17:21,608 --> 00:17:25,799
嗯 警察 你敢消遣我 把她们带过来

304
00:17:26,763 --> 00:17:29,066
走啊 肥婆子 走啊

305
00:17:30,314 --> 00:17:33,322
哼 你们好大的胆子啊 敢砸我地盘

306
00:17:34,635 --> 00:17:35,753
从今开始[越南话]

307
00:17:37,354 --> 00:17:38,314
你们这么晚才来

308
00:17:38,762 --> 00:17:39,691
不算晚了

309
00:17:48,683 --> 00:17:51,467
全部趴下 我是警察

310
00:17:51,935 --> 00:17:52,348
哼

311
00:17:52,349 --> 00:17:55,420
啊 你不要乱玩枪啊 你还在念书

312
00:17:55,422 --> 00:17:56,574
很危险你知不知道

313
00:17:56,959 --> 00:17:58,976
还给我 嗬 你好乖乖

314
00:18:03,263 --> 00:18:03,808
住手

315
00:18:04,926 --> 00:18:07,325
叫你住手啊 你个呆子你想害死我

316
00:18:12,389 --> 00:18:15,206
哼…臭小子 我告诉你

317
00:18:15,207 --> 00:18:17,094
现在我不想打烂你的头

318
00:18:17,350 --> 00:18:18,694
我要打烂你的嘴

319
00:18:23,432 --> 00:18:24,198
好脏啊

320
00:18:25,893 --> 00:18:28,004
打烂他的头啊 打烂他的头

321
00:18:29,868 --> 00:18:31,607
我只不过是唬唬你就吓成这样

322
00:18:32,183 --> 00:18:34,110
要是玩真的话 你不是尿一裤子吗

323
00:18:34,111 --> 00:18:39,134
啊 救命啊 不要闹了

324
00:18:39,392 --> 00:18:41,598
这小子真是个弄种

325
00:18:42,079 --> 00:18:44,094
不要…

326
00:19:07,178 --> 00:19:09,258
呃 什么事…

327
00:19:12,394 --> 00:19:13,355
都搞定了

328
00:19:14,187 --> 00:19:14,701
搞定了

329
00:19:21,303 --> 00:19:23,193
你这只猫真坏 又在神台上拉屎

330
00:19:25,719 --> 00:19:26,294
好臭啊

331
00:19:36,500 --> 00:19:37,300
对不起 祖师爷

332
00:19:43,253 --> 00:19:45,813
弟子有请茅山祖师附身授法

333
00:19:50,520 --> 00:19:52,982
有请老祖师大显威灵

334
00:20:00,878 --> 00:20:03,309
哼 手长脚长 样样都可以长

335
00:20:04,972 --> 00:20:05,420
孽畜

336
00:20:10,092 --> 00:20:12,333
蟑螂擒拿手 孽畜 你还想跑

337
00:20:23,660 --> 00:20:25,486
对不起 祖师爷 我家太脏了

338
00:20:28,590 --> 00:20:31,149
糟了 桃花劫 不行

339
00:20:32,559 --> 00:20:33,744
阿玉 先不要走

340
00:20:35,982 --> 00:20:37,005
爸 什么事

341
00:20:37,456 --> 00:20:42,159
你啊双脸泛红 眼冒春水 犯桃花

342
00:20:42,415 --> 00:20:43,663
碰到男人可要当心呢

343
00:20:44,462 --> 00:20:45,936
干吗要我当心男人啊

344
00:20:46,289 --> 00:20:47,374
怕遭报应啊

345
00:20:48,465 --> 00:20:50,545
爸 你又干了什么好事了

346
00:20:50,799 --> 00:20:53,680
呃 哎呀 少管这么多了 反正当心就是了

347
00:20:53,935 --> 00:20:55,471
好了 你不用担心

348
00:20:55,697 --> 00:20:56,719
我走了 拜拜

349
00:20:56,720 --> 00:20:58,470
哦 早点回来

350
00:20:58,478 --> 00:20:59,118
知道了

351
00:21:00,658 --> 00:21:04,176
唉 自作孽 平常老爱玩别人的女儿

352
00:21:04,499 --> 00:21:06,129
现在自己女儿长这么大了

353
00:21:06,386 --> 00:21:08,144
可别报应在阿玉身上那就惨了

354
00:21:13,200 --> 00:21:13,770
出去了

355
00:21:13,777 --> 00:21:14,384
嗯

356
00:21:19,794 --> 00:21:24,882
嗯 嗬 原来是穿这么长的裙子

357
00:22:46,260 --> 00:22:48,756
嗯 搞什么

358
00:22:51,765 --> 00:22:52,372
狗窝似的

359
00:22:59,637 --> 00:23:02,005
这么脏怎么能住人呢 真是

360
00:23:32,046 --> 00:23:33,739
啊 怎么又是你

361
00:23:35,021 --> 00:23:36,589
怎么会把个死人宿舍给我

362
00:23:52,752 --> 00:23:53,713
你别太过分

363
00:24:06,466 --> 00:24:08,096
消防队 不是 警察

364
00:24:08,097 --> 00:24:10,050
哼 挺神气的啊

365
00:24:11,714 --> 00:24:15,776
哎 你…你会说话

366
00:24:17,859 --> 00:24:20,060
警察 编号1997

367
00:24:20,068 --> 00:24:21,796
你最好不要说话

368
00:24:21,988 --> 00:24:23,716
你有权不说话

369
00:24:23,717 --> 00:24:26,564
你所要说的话将来会作为呈堂证供

370
00:24:35,396 --> 00:24:36,163
请问大门在哪里

371
00:24:37,989 --> 00:24:38,660
嗯

372
00:24:39,397 --> 00:24:39,909
谢谢

373
00:24:46,309 --> 00:24:46,948
Hi

374
00:24:47,206 --> 00:24:49,700
Hi 啊…

375
00:24:53,638 --> 00:24:54,438
我调头跑

376
00:25:19,181 --> 00:25:21,185
我不行了 我慢慢走

377
00:25:26,589 --> 00:25:27,515
该怎么办

378
00:25:32,701 --> 00:25:33,279
不来了

379
00:25:34,719 --> 00:25:35,198
Hi

380
00:25:35,901 --> 00:25:39,527
咦 我一定是在做梦 还是白日梦

381
00:25:40,039 --> 00:25:43,270
我有病…我还是神经病啊

382
00:25:43,272 --> 00:25:46,280
我一定是神经病 我有神经病了

383
00:25:54,322 --> 00:25:57,169
不要玩了嘛

384
00:25:58,960 --> 00:26:02,320
我说我不要玩 我要回家

385
00:26:03,570 --> 00:26:04,403
你走不掉的

386
00:26:05,042 --> 00:26:06,098
我重新再走一遍

387
00:26:17,104 --> 00:26:20,210
我说过你走不掉的 哼 自讨苦吃

388
00:26:22,164 --> 00:26:22,835
嗯

389
00:26:28,659 --> 00:26:29,715
现在你相信我了

390
00:26:30,450 --> 00:26:31,184
相信

391
00:26:36,053 --> 00:26:36,850
有什么好笑的

392
00:26:38,486 --> 00:26:39,923
我是在害怕

393
00:26:40,436 --> 00:26:41,654
刚才你还没怕够啊

394
00:26:42,837 --> 00:26:44,400
我这个人就是这样子

395
00:26:44,403 --> 00:26:47,186
你不要管我 有话你就说嘛

396
00:26:47,987 --> 00:26:49,651
好 我告诉你

397
00:26:50,486 --> 00:26:52,852
我有一个克星 还有一个救星

398
00:26:53,142 --> 00:26:54,930
因为你的屁股长了梅花痣

399
00:26:54,933 --> 00:26:56,085
所以你是我的救星

400
00:26:56,436 --> 00:26:57,557
克星还没找到呢

401
00:26:58,517 --> 00:27:00,916
我干吗那么倒霉要当你的救星啊

402
00:27:00,918 --> 00:27:02,548
我怎么知道呢 是上面说的

403
00:27:04,918 --> 00:27:06,774
不要了 我求求你

404
00:27:06,775 --> 00:27:09,079
我又不认识你 你不要整我了

405
00:27:09,080 --> 00:27:10,743
不是我想要整你

406
00:27:10,744 --> 00:27:12,310
是上面要整我们两个

407
00:27:13,527 --> 00:27:16,400
哎 你以为你真的很了不起

408
00:27:16,405 --> 00:27:18,295
在按摩院里面可以一个打九个

409
00:27:18,839 --> 00:27:20,696
你以为你可以一口气

410
00:27:20,856 --> 00:27:22,648
把那个女孩子的裙子给吹起来

411
00:27:24,057 --> 00:27:24,759
原来是你

412
00:27:24,950 --> 00:27:26,775
是我 这样好了

413
00:27:27,001 --> 00:27:28,600
我可以帮你泡那个妞

414
00:27:29,143 --> 00:27:31,031
你帮我的忙 怎么样

415
00:27:32,938 --> 00:27:35,754
不行啊 我不行的啦

416
00:27:35,755 --> 00:27:36,490
你是不肯啊

417
00:27:36,492 --> 00:27:37,772
不行的啦

418
00:27:38,315 --> 00:27:39,240
你真的不肯

419
00:27:39,243 --> 00:27:40,390
不要了 我不肯…

420
00:27:40,394 --> 00:27:41,643
好 那走着瞧

421
00:27:46,507 --> 00:27:48,300
有鬼啊

422
00:27:49,611 --> 00:27:50,027
长官

423
00:27:50,029 --> 00:27:50,541
嗯

424
00:27:51,437 --> 00:27:51,949
没事

425
00:27:52,333 --> 00:27:53,292
哼 神经病

426
00:27:54,667 --> 00:27:56,077
哎 你相不相信有鬼

427
00:27:56,333 --> 00:27:57,386
相信 是有鬼啊

428
00:27:58,413 --> 00:27:59,373
那你有没见过鬼呢

429
00:27:59,629 --> 00:28:00,106
没有

430
00:28:01,612 --> 00:28:03,502
不知道见鬼是好还是不好

431
00:28:03,693 --> 00:28:05,229
如果他肯帮你 你就发了

432
00:28:05,836 --> 00:28:06,582
是吗

433
00:28:06,584 --> 00:28:07,033
是啊

434
00:28:07,801 --> 00:28:08,697
如果我不肯呢

435
00:28:09,078 --> 00:28:10,296
哼 不帮你就糗了

436
00:28:11,353 --> 00:28:11,927
糗了

437
00:28:12,794 --> 00:28:14,838
你见鬼了 那你糗大了

438
00:28:15,128 --> 00:28:17,560
没有 我好得很 我正在走运呢

439
00:28:17,848 --> 00:28:20,473
我长这么大 从来都没糗过

440
00:28:20,474 --> 00:28:21,721
是哦…

441
00:28:22,519 --> 00:28:23,318
啊…

442
00:28:23,320 --> 00:28:24,121
嗯 干什么

443
00:28:26,008 --> 00:28:26,998
踩到钉子了

444
00:28:27,321 --> 00:28:30,505
还好 没扎到肉 这不能算糗啊

445
00:28:33,163 --> 00:28:35,497
哼 这样还不糗啊 嗯

446
00:28:41,229 --> 00:28:42,799
好 回去吧 不要看了

447
00:28:43,150 --> 00:28:44,458
哎 什么事

448
00:28:44,651 --> 00:28:46,081
那个越南男子不肯下来

449
00:28:46,785 --> 00:28:47,746
有没通知上面呢

450
00:28:47,747 --> 00:28:48,290
还没有到

451
00:28:49,603 --> 00:28:50,810
我刚才没有事

452
00:28:50,819 --> 00:28:52,545
严格说起来也不是很糗

453
00:28:52,547 --> 00:28:54,148
好了…不糗…干活了

454
00:28:54,818 --> 00:28:57,050
哎 你先上去 我马上来

455
00:28:57,059 --> 00:28:57,699
他在上面

456
00:28:59,062 --> 00:28:59,872
哎 坚叔

457
00:29:00,355 --> 00:29:03,070
哎 也没什么了 我是想问问你

458
00:29:03,073 --> 00:29:06,049
这一辈子当中有没有试过…

459
00:29:07,011 --> 00:29:07,585
见鬼

460
00:29:07,842 --> 00:29:08,480
见鬼

461
00:29:08,482 --> 00:29:09,060
嗯

462
00:29:09,217 --> 00:29:10,880
没有啊 怎么回事

463
00:29:10,881 --> 00:29:11,328
嗯

464
00:29:11,329 --> 00:29:12,672
你见到鬼了 是不是

465
00:29:12,674 --> 00:29:13,346
不是

466
00:29:14,115 --> 00:29:15,778
是谁 是谁乱丢垃圾

467
00:29:16,450 --> 00:29:18,753
哎 你还真糗啊 有没有怎么样

468
00:29:18,754 --> 00:29:20,194
没有…干活去

469
00:29:20,674 --> 00:29:21,630
千万不要想不开

470
00:29:21,634 --> 00:29:22,883
什么事情都可以商量嘛

471
00:29:22,884 --> 00:29:24,194
还有什么好说的

472
00:29:25,061 --> 00:29:27,204
我是非死不可

473
00:29:27,395 --> 00:29:29,379
哎 老兄 老兄啊

474
00:29:29,380 --> 00:29:30,268
你不要上来

475
00:29:31,501 --> 00:29:31,810
老兄

476
00:29:31,820 --> 00:29:32,490
你不要上来

477
00:29:32,491 --> 00:29:34,474
老兄 你安静一点 慢慢来 啊

478
00:29:34,476 --> 00:29:36,172
你要再过来 我就真的跳下去了

479
00:29:36,173 --> 00:29:37,930
老兄啊 你听我说嘛

480
00:29:37,931 --> 00:29:39,148
听我说啊 老兄

481
00:29:39,501 --> 00:29:41,640
老兄啊 你不要这么傻嘛

482
00:29:41,645 --> 00:29:44,268
你想想看 当年你从越南

483
00:29:44,269 --> 00:29:45,966
离乡背井投奔怒海

484
00:29:45,967 --> 00:29:47,750
千山万水惊涛骇浪的

485
00:29:47,757 --> 00:29:48,942
好不容易到这个地方来了

486
00:29:48,943 --> 00:29:49,739
为的是什么呢

487
00:29:49,998 --> 00:29:52,396
还不是为了要争自由爱自由吗

488
00:29:52,877 --> 00:29:54,445
你有没听说过一句话

489
00:29:54,446 --> 00:29:57,390
生命诚可贵 自由价更高

490
00:29:57,391 --> 00:30:00,366
我没有听过 你不要再说了

491
00:30:01,775 --> 00:30:04,942
你们香港人 猫哭耗子假慈悲

492
00:30:06,128 --> 00:30:07,408
我们越南人

493
00:30:07,598 --> 00:30:09,997
每一个都千辛万苦来到香港

494
00:30:10,220 --> 00:30:11,532
你们也太不人道了

495
00:30:11,728 --> 00:30:13,327
还要把我们给送回去

496
00:30:14,701 --> 00:30:16,461
你知不知道我们回去就死定了

497
00:30:16,654 --> 00:30:17,710
反正都是要死

498
00:30:17,711 --> 00:30:19,055
不如从这儿跳下去算了

499
00:30:19,247 --> 00:30:20,467
老兄 说不定你不会遣返…

500
00:30:20,468 --> 00:30:21,870
神探正在上面谈判

501
00:30:21,877 --> 00:30:23,006
你没有看报纸吗

502
00:30:23,246 --> 00:30:24,750
柴玲啊都去了法国了

503
00:30:24,751 --> 00:30:26,250
侯德建又回到台北去

504
00:30:26,254 --> 00:30:28,800
还上电视 他们风光的…

505
00:30:28,805 --> 00:30:29,633
打搅你一下

506
00:30:29,634 --> 00:30:30,300
你上来干什么

507
00:30:30,303 --> 00:30:30,975
我是想聊我们跟他聊过…

508
00:30:30,976 --> 00:30:34,210
柴玲跟我不同啊 他全世界支持他

509
00:30:34,215 --> 00:30:36,769
我们是越南人 说遣返就遣返

510
00:30:37,027 --> 00:30:38,910
这是逼我们走绝路嘛

511
00:30:38,914 --> 00:30:40,470
你自己先考虑一下 你还有什么话

512
00:30:40,472 --> 00:30:41,430
我是想问你

513
00:30:41,431 --> 00:30:42,968
没什么好考虑的了

514
00:30:42,969 --> 00:30:44,560
你考虑一下我刚刚说的话

515
00:30:44,569 --> 00:30:45,650
再打搅你一会儿

516
00:30:45,655 --> 00:30:47,480
我是想问你如果那个鬼想整你

517
00:30:47,481 --> 00:30:48,370
而你又不想理他

518
00:30:48,377 --> 00:30:49,560
你说你会不会死得很难看

519
00:30:49,561 --> 00:30:50,936
就是你们不理我们

520
00:30:50,937 --> 00:30:51,927
如果你们照顾我们

521
00:30:51,928 --> 00:30:53,624
我们也不会走上这条路啊

522
00:30:53,914 --> 00:30:55,769
你他妈的 从今开始[越南话]

523
00:30:55,995 --> 00:30:57,080
想要死就快啊

524
00:30:57,081 --> 00:30:58,456
妨碍我们谈正经事情

525
00:30:58,458 --> 00:31:00,310
来到这里吃我们的住我们的

526
00:31:00,313 --> 00:31:01,528
还在这里吵什么

527
00:31:01,529 --> 00:31:02,969
你以为你很了不起啊

528
00:31:03,450 --> 00:31:05,300
带种的话你他妈给我跳下去

529
00:31:05,305 --> 00:31:05,580
你神经病你

530
00:31:05,590 --> 00:31:07,040
是你叫我跳的 我就真的跳了

531
00:31:07,042 --> 00:31:08,130
跳啊  我跳了

532
00:31:08,135 --> 00:31:09,537
你不要跳 帮我拉着他

533
00:31:09,539 --> 00:31:10,400
快点 不要他跳下去

534
00:31:10,402 --> 00:31:12,800
我拉着他 他妈的 我把你推下去

535
00:31:15,298 --> 00:31:16,579
阿星

536
00:31:18,307 --> 00:31:20,090
你还赖着干什么 快起来

537
00:31:20,098 --> 00:31:22,116
有没有事啊 阿星 你怎么了

538
00:31:22,500 --> 00:31:23,297
我真的糗了

539
00:31:26,052 --> 00:31:28,355
大叔 我认输了 你出来一下吧

540
00:31:29,764 --> 00:31:31,364
你昨天跟我谈的那件事

541
00:31:31,619 --> 00:31:32,580
可以商量嘛

542
00:31:32,898 --> 00:31:33,922
你现在肯答应了

543
00:31:34,629 --> 00:31:35,710
是你求我喽

544
00:31:35,715 --> 00:31:36,227
嗯

545
00:31:36,678 --> 00:31:38,246
没有我你一定会很糗

546
00:31:43,717 --> 00:31:45,605
从现在开始 我们正式合作

547
00:31:46,022 --> 00:31:49,223
我除了帮你泡妞啊 还帮你升职立功

548
00:31:50,565 --> 00:31:51,588
这可是你说的

549
00:31:52,421 --> 00:31:53,764
你到底要我帮你做什么

550
00:31:54,214 --> 00:31:55,143
这个很简单

551
00:31:55,973 --> 00:31:58,789
你先帮我查出 杀我的凶手是谁

552
00:31:59,301 --> 00:32:00,419
然后帮我报仇

553
00:32:00,582 --> 00:32:02,084
因为只有你可以对付他

554
00:32:02,469 --> 00:32:04,900
哦 那这件事可不简单呢

555
00:32:05,253 --> 00:32:06,598
怎么 你想反悔

556
00:32:06,920 --> 00:32:09,863
哎 不会 我是想谈另外一件事

557
00:32:10,342 --> 00:32:11,011
哪件事

558
00:32:12,197 --> 00:32:14,278
妞没泡到 你叫我怎么相信你呢

559
00:32:14,279 --> 00:32:15,910
你的鬼心眼我早就知道

560
00:32:15,912 --> 00:32:19,557
嘿 喂 我还有一个要求

561
00:32:19,912 --> 00:32:21,192
你可不可以让我碰你一下

562
00:32:22,278 --> 00:32:22,756
可以

563
00:32:24,520 --> 00:32:28,039
我从来都没有碰过鬼 我好紧张

564
00:32:31,945 --> 00:32:34,857
哎…也不过如此嘛

565
00:32:36,169 --> 00:32:36,714
该我了

566
00:32:37,128 --> 00:32:37,800
来啊

567
00:32:42,736 --> 00:32:43,110
好厉害

568
00:32:43,119 --> 00:32:44,340
那支灯打亮一点啊

569
00:32:44,347 --> 00:32:45,277
知道了

570
00:32:45,562 --> 00:32:46,770
太亮了 收一点

571
00:32:46,778 --> 00:32:48,152
好 再看看

572
00:32:48,569 --> 00:32:49,757
好了 OK

573
00:32:50,603 --> 00:32:52,361
请吃母牛牌巧克力

574
00:32:52,907 --> 00:32:57,225
母牛牌巧克力 又香又甜又好吃

575
00:32:57,226 --> 00:32:59,273
Cut 摄影机有没有问题

576
00:32:59,275 --> 00:32:59,810
没问题

577
00:32:59,819 --> 00:33:00,809
哦 好 OK啦

578
00:33:00,810 --> 00:33:01,990
OK啦…

579
00:33:01,995 --> 00:33:03,818
用看的就行了 不用泡了

580
00:33:03,819 --> 00:33:05,485
啊 我是在等你

581
00:33:06,187 --> 00:33:06,790
等我

582
00:33:06,796 --> 00:33:07,400
嗯

583
00:33:07,406 --> 00:33:12,397
哦 喽 你把这朵花送给她

584
00:33:12,621 --> 00:33:13,570
然后跟她说

585
00:33:13,580 --> 00:33:15,821
你很漂亮 我很喜欢你 就行了

586
00:33:16,141 --> 00:33:16,908
这样就行了

587
00:33:17,067 --> 00:33:19,053
行了 就看你有没有这个本事

588
00:33:19,474 --> 00:33:20,690
你话别说太满

589
00:33:20,691 --> 00:33:22,195
我怕是你这招不灵

590
00:33:22,545 --> 00:33:23,952
我这招一定灵

591
00:33:24,176 --> 00:33:25,872
就不知道你有没有这个本事去

592
00:33:25,873 --> 00:33:27,025
我别的本事没有

593
00:33:27,026 --> 00:33:28,467
这点小事还难不倒我

594
00:33:28,658 --> 00:33:30,540
哎 只要你敢过去跟她说

595
00:33:30,547 --> 00:33:31,733
我就保证一定成功

596
00:33:36,027 --> 00:33:38,843
哎 我看你根本就不敢过去

597
00:33:58,462 --> 00:34:01,405
你很漂亮 我好喜欢你

598
00:34:07,901 --> 00:34:08,521
喜欢吗

599
00:34:18,282 --> 00:34:19,016
好可爱

600
00:34:20,809 --> 00:34:21,895
连只牛都不理我

601
00:34:21,897 --> 00:34:24,361
还叫我跟人说 灵个屁

602
00:34:24,649 --> 00:34:25,864
我早说过你不行

603
00:34:40,944 --> 00:34:41,809
这次你有对手了

604
00:34:45,231 --> 00:34:45,712
去啊

605
00:34:47,856 --> 00:34:50,673
邓先生 你今天怎么有空到这儿来啊

606
00:34:54,964 --> 00:34:58,164
我今天来呢 主要是看看我的广告片

607
00:34:58,165 --> 00:34:59,763
到底拍得怎么样了

608
00:35:02,609 --> 00:35:04,360
那个是不是我们的女主角

609
00:35:04,369 --> 00:35:05,745
哎 是啊 是啊

610
00:35:05,746 --> 00:35:08,787
哦…哎…来…我来介绍一下

611
00:35:08,789 --> 00:35:12,019
这位是我们的老板邓李洋先生

612
00:35:12,178 --> 00:35:14,004
这位是我们的女主角 她叫阿玉

613
00:35:14,005 --> 00:35:14,963
你好

614
00:35:18,835 --> 00:35:20,210
这花呢送给你

615
00:35:20,652 --> 00:35:22,956
陪我喝杯茶怎么样 嗯

616
00:35:23,213 --> 00:35:25,015
对不起 我还要拍广告

617
00:35:26,593 --> 00:35:27,937
哎 导演

618
00:35:27,938 --> 00:35:29,210
啊 来了…

619
00:35:29,218 --> 00:35:31,200
你搞什么 到现在还不收工

620
00:35:31,201 --> 00:35:32,576
收…收工

621
00:35:32,799 --> 00:35:36,481
哦…大家听着 老板说今天收工了啊

622
00:35:36,483 --> 00:35:37,600
把东西都收一收

623
00:35:37,602 --> 00:35:39,873
哎 有空了吧 嗯

624
00:35:41,121 --> 00:35:43,010
对不起 就算不拍这个广告

625
00:35:43,011 --> 00:35:44,067
我也不会跟你去喝茶的

626
00:35:45,472 --> 00:35:46,209
你什么意思

627
00:35:46,690 --> 00:35:49,121
我们老大请你喝茶 你敢拒绝

628
00:35:52,430 --> 00:35:52,814
来嘛

629
00:35:52,815 --> 00:35:54,630
干什么 放手啊你

630
00:35:54,639 --> 00:35:57,320
拿出男人本色来 英雄救美啊

631
00:35:57,935 --> 00:35:58,414
好

632
00:35:59,694 --> 00:36:02,637
哎…你干吗把枪掏出来

633
00:36:02,638 --> 00:36:03,885
就算是抓贼

634
00:36:03,886 --> 00:36:05,743
也要看适当时机才能掏枪啊

635
00:36:06,095 --> 00:36:07,502
泡妞要看谁的本事大

636
00:36:07,727 --> 00:36:08,881
把勇气拿出来

637
00:36:09,296 --> 00:36:10,285
他们有很多人

638
00:36:11,058 --> 00:36:13,070
你不要怕 一切有我

639
00:36:13,072 --> 00:36:13,968
我会帮你搞定的

640
00:36:14,288 --> 00:36:18,739
哦…不…标叔 但是我应该说些什么呢

641
00:36:19,056 --> 00:36:19,951
放手啊

642
00:36:21,297 --> 00:36:22,578
放手了

643
00:36:23,887 --> 00:36:26,640
臭小子 你什么东西啊你 闪一边去

644
00:36:28,433 --> 00:36:31,823
哎 光天化日之下 胆敢调戏良家妇女

645
00:36:31,984 --> 00:36:34,737
干吗 你以为你是楚留香

646
00:36:34,739 --> 00:36:38,898
还英雄救美啊你 啊 哼 哎 交给你们了

647
00:36:40,177 --> 00:36:42,130
啊 哎…不要啊

648
00:36:42,135 --> 00:36:42,961
你们干什么

649
00:36:44,723 --> 00:36:45,329
不要打了

650
00:36:52,498 --> 00:36:55,699
哎 不许打 我劝你们保持冷静啊

651
00:36:57,269 --> 00:36:58,705
喂 你…

652
00:37:02,516 --> 00:37:06,545
像你这么蠢的大侠可真是难找哦…

653
00:37:09,169 --> 00:37:10,898
我真是服了你了我

654
00:37:28,564 --> 00:37:29,738
你不许我掏枪

655
00:37:29,739 --> 00:37:31,692
还坐在这里看我被人家扁

656
00:37:31,693 --> 00:37:33,002
你这叫帮我 嗯

657
00:37:33,003 --> 00:37:35,140
我已经帮你了 只是你不知道而已

658
00:37:35,148 --> 00:37:35,915
哎 你还…

659
00:37:35,917 --> 00:37:36,813
先生

660
00:37:39,883 --> 00:37:40,523
你不要紧吧

661
00:37:42,250 --> 00:37:42,763
没事

662
00:37:43,213 --> 00:37:44,749
刚才的事真是不好意思

663
00:37:45,323 --> 00:37:45,869
不客气

664
00:38:00,077 --> 00:38:01,614
月上柳梢头

665
00:38:02,638 --> 00:38:03,950
人约黄昏后

666
00:38:05,645 --> 00:38:06,470
吓死我了

667
00:38:06,478 --> 00:38:08,236
下次出来请你通知我一声嘛

668
00:38:09,166 --> 00:38:10,413
妞我已经帮你泡上了

669
00:38:10,573 --> 00:38:11,915
现在该你帮我报仇了吧

670
00:38:12,204 --> 00:38:15,244
没问题 不过我已经约了她了嘛

671
00:38:15,245 --> 00:38:17,775
好歹先让我占一次便宜再说嘛 嗯

672
00:38:18,000 --> 00:38:20,302
哎 好事都让你占尽了

673
00:38:20,494 --> 00:38:21,871
我们约定的事就不算数了

674
00:38:22,061 --> 00:38:23,180
哎呀 对不起了

675
00:38:23,182 --> 00:38:24,846
就算天王老子找我也没用了

676
00:38:25,230 --> 00:38:27,086
好 走着瞧

677
00:38:57,026 --> 00:38:57,822
李小姐 你好

678
00:38:58,017 --> 00:38:58,530
先生 你好

679
00:38:59,234 --> 00:38:59,614
幸会

680
00:39:00,383 --> 00:39:00,864
你没事吧

681
00:39:01,569 --> 00:39:04,090
没事 我们到那边坐一会儿

682
00:39:04,096 --> 00:39:04,641
好

683
00:39:04,864 --> 00:39:05,345
谢谢

684
00:39:13,217 --> 00:39:14,625
李小姐都忙些什么

685
00:39:14,947 --> 00:39:16,227
嗯 拍广告啊

686
00:39:16,672 --> 00:39:17,760
哦 哎 是吗

687
00:39:17,762 --> 00:39:19,780
嚯 哎 拍广告那就…

688
00:39:19,784 --> 00:39:20,905
你的枪碰到我了

689
00:39:23,026 --> 00:39:23,603
对不起啊

690
00:39:27,410 --> 00:39:28,115
这么说起来

691
00:39:28,116 --> 00:39:30,259
李小姐的工作环境都很不错了

692
00:39:31,986 --> 00:39:32,531
什么东西

693
00:39:35,348 --> 00:39:36,403
你怎么会有两支枪

694
00:39:36,691 --> 00:39:38,770
哎 是啊 哎 等一下啊

695
00:39:41,843 --> 00:39:43,060
老兄 算我怕你

696
00:39:43,065 --> 00:39:44,596
你给我半个小时好不好

697
00:39:44,597 --> 00:39:45,526
半个小时就够了

698
00:39:46,741 --> 00:39:47,444
帮帮忙

699
00:39:49,172 --> 00:39:49,876
先吃点花生

700
00:39:52,085 --> 00:39:52,724
哎 别闹了

701
00:39:54,871 --> 00:39:56,407
哼 见色忘友

702
00:40:00,149 --> 00:40:00,660
都没了

703
00:40:30,353 --> 00:40:30,897
怎么了

704
00:40:36,913 --> 00:40:37,488
第三支枪

705
00:40:38,961 --> 00:40:39,569
哼

706
00:40:49,201 --> 00:40:50,320
怎么到这里来找线索

707
00:40:51,087 --> 00:40:53,680
随便看看嘛 没线索就当是旅行

708
00:40:53,841 --> 00:40:54,449
我先去看一下

709
00:41:37,747 --> 00:41:38,896
哎 你在干什么

710
00:41:40,848 --> 00:41:42,706
警察 你有权…

711
00:41:43,763 --> 00:41:45,521
你在这里干什么 开片

712
00:41:46,259 --> 00:41:48,116
不要过来 我开枪了

713
00:41:48,434 --> 00:41:49,010
快走

714
00:41:49,011 --> 00:41:49,775
不要走

715
00:41:50,099 --> 00:41:50,804
我开枪了

716
00:41:52,658 --> 00:41:53,298
你吓唬谁啊

717
00:41:53,521 --> 00:41:54,577
戴黑眼镜那个

718
00:41:54,578 --> 00:41:56,370
你少神气 我开枪了

719
00:41:57,683 --> 00:41:58,259
不是我

720
00:41:59,124 --> 00:41:59,665
也不是我

721
00:42:00,307 --> 00:42:02,730
拿斧头那个 你就拿着死鱼眼瞄我

722
00:42:02,738 --> 00:42:03,410
我开枪了

723
00:42:05,764 --> 00:42:06,309
不是我

724
00:42:06,531 --> 00:42:07,906
穿蓝色衣服的那个

725
00:42:08,131 --> 00:42:10,596
你哪来那么多要求 我劈你哦…

726
00:42:14,949 --> 00:42:15,580
不是我

727
00:42:15,589 --> 00:42:20,610
劈他…我轰你…

728
00:42:20,612 --> 00:42:21,444
怎么回事

729
00:42:21,445 --> 00:42:22,590
老大 欲罢不能哎

730
00:42:22,596 --> 00:42:23,870
哎 赶快去摆平他

731
00:42:23,876 --> 00:42:25,440
嗯 他有枪哎

732
00:42:25,445 --> 00:42:26,308
哎呀 我们人多

733
00:42:26,309 --> 00:42:27,748
他只有六颗子弹 怕什么呢

734
00:42:28,646 --> 00:42:29,890
那他来真的怎么办

735
00:42:29,893 --> 00:42:31,300
笨蛋 你不会躲到后面去

736
00:42:31,305 --> 00:42:32,133
啊

737
00:42:32,134 --> 00:42:33,476
啊什么 这儿交给你了

738
00:42:33,477 --> 00:42:34,343
我到后面包抄

739
00:42:35,268 --> 00:42:37,060
这么简单 谁都可以当老大了

740
00:42:37,910 --> 00:42:38,997
劈他…

741
00:42:38,999 --> 00:42:39,703
你怕了

742
00:42:39,704 --> 00:42:41,300
劈他…

743
00:42:41,302 --> 00:42:43,770
像这种小场面你都应付不了

744
00:42:43,777 --> 00:42:44,800
我帮你摆平他们

745
00:42:44,802 --> 00:42:45,600
你哈拉什么杠

746
00:42:45,605 --> 00:42:47,520
你不知道我只有六颗子弹

747
00:42:47,713 --> 00:42:49,500
你不行啊 我行

748
00:42:49,505 --> 00:42:50,210
是不是真的

749
00:42:50,211 --> 00:42:53,154
劈他…

750
00:42:53,155 --> 00:42:53,824
搞定

751
00:42:53,825 --> 00:42:55,458
标叔 你不要开我玩笑

752
00:42:55,459 --> 00:42:58,882
劈他…

753
00:43:17,385 --> 00:43:18,504
还真的有用哎

754
00:43:22,826 --> 00:43:24,584
哎 还发什么呆

755
00:43:24,586 --> 00:43:25,576
还不快叫救护车

756
00:43:35,466 --> 00:43:36,041
进来

757
00:43:37,770 --> 00:43:38,760
督察 督察

758
00:43:39,050 --> 00:43:39,690
嗯

759
00:43:46,603 --> 00:43:48,680
昨天的毒品案是你们破的

760
00:43:48,682 --> 00:43:49,643
是的

761
00:43:50,378 --> 00:43:54,603
好 上头对你们的表现很满意

762
00:43:55,436 --> 00:43:58,950
要我写一份报告 然后论功行赏

763
00:43:58,955 --> 00:43:59,595
谢谢督察

764
00:44:00,012 --> 00:44:03,372
呃 昨天的情况是非常的惊险…

765
00:44:04,302 --> 00:44:06,410
报告督察 阿星是新来的

766
00:44:06,411 --> 00:44:08,521
这种大场面他哪见过呢

767
00:44:08,523 --> 00:44:10,410
再加上他的经验不足

768
00:44:10,413 --> 00:44:13,356
所以昨天表现的是既惊慌又紧张

769
00:44:13,357 --> 00:44:15,405
整个的情况他已经记不清楚了

770
00:44:15,406 --> 00:44:17,130
为了不耽误督察宝贵的时间呢

771
00:44:17,132 --> 00:44:18,956
我想我一个人报告就行了

772
00:44:20,411 --> 00:44:21,496
那你先出去好了

773
00:44:24,732 --> 00:44:25,372
出去

774
00:44:35,836 --> 00:44:36,950
嗯 喂

775
00:44:36,957 --> 00:44:37,659
你很生气

776
00:44:37,660 --> 00:44:38,138
是啊

777
00:44:38,365 --> 00:44:38,972
我有办法

778
00:44:47,100 --> 00:44:48,476
什么法宝 啊

779
00:44:49,246 --> 00:44:50,428
风骚咒啊

780
00:44:50,683 --> 00:44:51,355
风骚咒

781
00:44:54,013 --> 00:44:55,860
十几个人冲出来 我为了保护阿星呢

782
00:44:55,868 --> 00:44:56,828
一个人跟他们拼了

783
00:45:01,639 --> 00:45:04,550
哎 怎么样了 搞定了没有

784
00:45:08,485 --> 00:45:09,001
看呢

785
00:45:11,685 --> 00:45:12,800
刚刚好好玩呢

786
00:45:12,807 --> 00:45:14,822
我们再来玩一次 快点来嘛 来啊

787
00:45:14,823 --> 00:45:19,048
什么东西 你神经病你 走开

788
00:45:22,760 --> 00:45:25,448
我一看情况不对啊 马上把枪掏出来

789
00:45:25,798 --> 00:45:29,159
你那支枪是不是又大又长

790
00:45:30,857 --> 00:45:32,393
不 督察 不怎么大

791
00:45:32,648 --> 00:45:33,890
来啊 我看看嘛

792
00:45:33,896 --> 00:45:35,624
哎 不 督察 你看什么

793
00:45:36,713 --> 00:45:38,020
不行啊 督察

794
00:45:38,025 --> 00:45:39,600
别那么小气嘛 借我看一看嘛

795
00:45:39,723 --> 00:45:41,540
督察 不是我小气

796
00:45:41,547 --> 00:45:43,177
我是想给你看呢

797
00:45:43,178 --> 00:45:44,809
但是在这儿怎么行啊

798
00:45:44,810 --> 00:45:46,155
那你看看我的

799
00:45:47,722 --> 00:45:49,540
大不大嘛

800
00:45:49,545 --> 00:45:52,043
大 不要白不要 我要了

801
00:45:54,604 --> 00:45:56,070
到底要不要 我的天呢

802
00:45:56,074 --> 00:45:57,449
来嘛

803
00:45:57,450 --> 00:45:59,335
我受不了了…我要

804
00:45:59,562 --> 00:46:00,230
我要…

805
00:46:00,232 --> 00:46:04,100
我要…不能要…

806
00:46:04,105 --> 00:46:05,001
抓她

807
00:46:06,090 --> 00:46:07,978
哎 这样不是便宜他了吗

808
00:46:09,418 --> 00:46:10,822
便宜他 我才不干

809
00:46:16,105 --> 00:46:18,633
督察 你发神经病啊

810
00:46:20,170 --> 00:46:21,224
你刚才干什么

811
00:46:21,225 --> 00:46:23,460
我没干什么 是你叫我这么做的

812
00:46:23,466 --> 00:46:25,801
你还敢胡说 连上司你都敢非礼

813
00:46:25,803 --> 00:46:27,620
不是 督察 是你命令我的

814
00:46:27,625 --> 00:46:29,131
啊 我命令你的

815
00:46:29,994 --> 00:46:30,506
好

816
00:46:32,972 --> 00:46:34,058
你们刚才看到什么

817
00:46:36,553 --> 00:46:38,634
什么都没看到啊 没有啊

818
00:46:38,635 --> 00:46:39,880
他刚才趴在你身上

819
00:46:39,885 --> 00:46:41,226
我们统统都没看见

820
00:46:41,515 --> 00:46:43,270
嗯 臭小子 你出卖我

821
00:46:43,275 --> 00:46:43,915
进去

822
00:46:46,315 --> 00:46:50,765
哎呀 督察 不要嘛

823
00:46:55,659 --> 00:46:56,203
爸

824
00:46:56,204 --> 00:46:56,812
嗯

825
00:46:57,806 --> 00:47:00,200
爸 你怎么了 弄成这个样子

826
00:47:00,204 --> 00:47:02,443
哎 别提了 今天真够倒霉的

827
00:47:03,245 --> 00:47:04,100
对了 爸

828
00:47:04,107 --> 00:47:04,420
嗯

829
00:47:04,428 --> 00:47:06,283
我约了个新男朋友回来见你哦

830
00:47:06,766 --> 00:47:07,434
新男朋友

831
00:47:07,435 --> 00:47:07,947
嗯

832
00:47:08,142 --> 00:47:08,749
是谁啊

833
00:47:09,773 --> 00:47:10,318
你猜啊

834
00:47:11,885 --> 00:47:13,867
我女儿喜欢的一定是块头高大

835
00:47:13,868 --> 00:47:15,948
英俊潇洒 聪明灵活

836
00:47:16,653 --> 00:47:17,676
还要加上点可爱

837
00:47:18,222 --> 00:47:19,341
一会儿你就见到他了

838
00:47:21,133 --> 00:47:21,990
哎 对了 爸

839
00:47:21,996 --> 00:47:22,310
嗯

840
00:47:22,318 --> 00:47:23,245
我们先说好

841
00:47:23,470 --> 00:47:25,060
反正他是你女儿喜欢的

842
00:47:25,068 --> 00:47:25,583
嗯

843
00:47:28,623 --> 00:47:29,260
阿玉

844
00:47:29,262 --> 00:47:29,807
送我的

845
00:47:29,999 --> 00:47:31,438
呃 是啊

846
00:47:31,951 --> 00:47:33,199
来 先见见我爸爸

847
00:47:33,805 --> 00:47:34,253
好啊

848
00:47:36,431 --> 00:47:37,580
爸 这是我男朋友

849
00:47:37,582 --> 00:47:38,128
哦…

850
00:47:38,129 --> 00:47:39,025
哎 老伯

851
00:47:40,303 --> 00:47:41,100
怎么又是你

852
00:47:41,584 --> 00:47:43,054
是 怎么会这么巧

853
00:47:43,055 --> 00:47:44,010
是 真巧

854
00:47:44,017 --> 00:47:44,847
原来你们认识

855
00:47:45,103 --> 00:47:46,447
呃…是啊

856
00:47:47,952 --> 00:47:49,960
哎 对 就是我老跟你提起那位

857
00:47:49,967 --> 00:47:52,336
块头高大 英俊潇洒 聪明灵活

858
00:47:52,337 --> 00:47:53,773
还加点可爱的上司

859
00:47:53,775 --> 00:47:54,575
原来是你老爸

860
00:47:55,570 --> 00:47:57,617
少拍马屁了 先坐下再说

861
00:47:57,619 --> 00:47:58,161
呃 好

862
00:48:00,751 --> 00:48:01,714
怎么会是他

863
00:48:02,449 --> 00:48:04,369
可是我答应阿玉 只要她喜欢就好

864
00:48:04,944 --> 00:48:07,185
哼 待会儿有你好看的

865
00:48:08,017 --> 00:48:09,908
我饭已经煮好了 待会儿就可以吃饭了

866
00:48:10,130 --> 00:48:11,186
我先去帮你倒杯茶

867
00:48:11,187 --> 00:48:11,699
谢谢

868
00:48:18,898 --> 00:48:20,148
臭小子 你起来

869
00:48:20,593 --> 00:48:23,058
哼 刚才出卖我 现在还想泡我女儿

870
00:48:23,249 --> 00:48:25,651
长官 刚才是你自己不自量力嘛

871
00:48:25,653 --> 00:48:27,500
臭小子 我告诉你

872
00:48:27,506 --> 00:48:28,880
聪明的话就让我打两拳

873
00:48:30,517 --> 00:48:31,953
嗯 还躲

874
00:48:32,211 --> 00:48:32,788
不躲干吗

875
00:48:33,266 --> 00:48:36,849
你躲 啊 好小子 你敢还手

876
00:48:36,850 --> 00:48:37,458
我让你还手

877
00:48:37,458 --> 00:48:39,410
爸 阿星 你们干什么

878
00:48:39,923 --> 00:48:41,909
啊 没什么…

879
00:48:41,910 --> 00:48:44,852
你这个男朋友啊 真是块头高大呀

880
00:48:45,299 --> 00:48:47,124
老伯也是英俊潇洒

881
00:48:47,125 --> 00:48:49,747
哪里 你聪明灵活

882
00:48:49,748 --> 00:48:51,924
好几十岁人了都还这么可爱

883
00:48:52,403 --> 00:48:53,610
你也不差

884
00:48:53,620 --> 00:48:54,700
没想到你们这么投缘

885
00:48:54,709 --> 00:48:55,989
可以吃饭了 来吧

886
00:49:02,165 --> 00:49:02,964
来 吃饭了

887
00:49:03,604 --> 00:49:06,100
哎 不要客气 阿玉做的小菜很好吃

888
00:49:06,102 --> 00:49:06,998
你一定会喜欢的

889
00:49:06,999 --> 00:49:07,668
啊 好

890
00:49:08,309 --> 00:49:10,324
喽 如果不够咸就加酱油

891
00:49:10,325 --> 00:49:10,960
谢谢

892
00:49:10,964 --> 00:49:12,620
如果不够辣的话就加辣椒酱

893
00:49:12,630 --> 00:49:14,678
这些辣椒酱啊 可是阿玉亲手做的

894
00:49:17,879 --> 00:49:18,836
原来他怕辣

895
00:49:19,924 --> 00:49:22,103
哎…尝尝这个辣椒酱 啊

896
00:49:22,872 --> 00:49:26,073
嗯…这都是朝天椒做的

897
00:49:26,613 --> 00:49:30,613
哼 嗯 很够味的

898
00:49:31,032 --> 00:49:33,685
嗯 你要是不尝一下就是没有口福

899
00:49:33,909 --> 00:49:35,221
你也喜欢吃辣呀

900
00:49:35,446 --> 00:49:36,700
哎 是…

901
00:49:36,726 --> 00:49:37,749
哎 吃啊

902
00:49:42,103 --> 00:49:43,577
啊 我忘了汤了

903
00:49:45,175 --> 00:49:46,327
哎 你存心整我

904
00:49:46,838 --> 00:49:47,638
你吃不吃你

905
00:49:47,640 --> 00:49:48,185
不吃

906
00:49:54,585 --> 00:49:55,192
张嘴

907
00:49:58,872 --> 00:50:00,696
爸 你把虾子吃了

908
00:50:02,103 --> 00:50:03,961
很好吃 他说嫌不够辣

909
00:50:04,248 --> 00:50:06,457
要用辣椒酱拌饭才好吃 来

910
00:50:10,329 --> 00:50:11,352
这才合他的胃口

911
00:50:13,624 --> 00:50:15,606
原来你跟我一样喜欢吃辣椒酱啊

912
00:50:24,922 --> 00:50:26,329
哈 你好厉害哦

913
00:50:30,137 --> 00:50:31,577
看你吃得满嘴都是的

914
00:50:31,834 --> 00:50:34,203
来 不要光吃饭嘛 吃点菜啊

915
00:50:35,354 --> 00:50:35,931
谢谢

916
00:50:35,932 --> 00:50:36,548
来

917
00:50:37,926 --> 00:50:41,329
哦 你不喜欢啊 那我给爸爸吃喽

918
00:50:42,100 --> 00:50:43,184
来 爸爸

919
00:50:45,456 --> 00:50:47,921
你也不喜欢啊 那我自己吃好喽

920
00:50:47,922 --> 00:50:49,810
喽 哎…吃…

921
00:50:50,001 --> 00:50:50,833
好啊 来啊

922
00:51:03,059 --> 00:51:03,633
你们干什么

923
00:51:08,914 --> 00:51:09,843
阿玉

924
00:51:42,745 --> 00:51:45,847
那个臭小子是有点邪气

925
00:51:46,488 --> 00:51:50,071
有一只阴灵在帮他对付你

926
00:51:53,113 --> 00:51:53,848
那我该怎么办

927
00:51:54,168 --> 00:51:56,728
我会帮你查清楚

928
00:51:57,272 --> 00:52:00,378
现在给你一个护身符

929
00:52:11,226 --> 00:52:13,498
它会暂时保护你

930
00:52:13,690 --> 00:52:14,392
谢谢法师

931
00:52:21,050 --> 00:52:22,298
你趴在地上干什么

932
00:52:22,557 --> 00:52:23,324
我看电视

933
00:52:27,003 --> 00:52:27,548
这么巧

934
00:52:28,156 --> 00:52:30,360
最近你泡阿玉泡到神魂颠倒了

935
00:52:30,365 --> 00:52:33,114
嗯 哪有 怎么会吗

936
00:52:35,451 --> 00:52:36,508
你不是有那个什么…

937
00:52:36,509 --> 00:52:37,657
风骚咒是不是

938
00:52:37,658 --> 00:52:38,680
可不可以借给我

939
00:52:38,685 --> 00:52:39,482
你有神经病啊

940
00:52:40,027 --> 00:52:42,137
你想把风骚咒用在阿玉身上

941
00:52:42,139 --> 00:52:43,324
她是我小侄女

942
00:52:44,157 --> 00:52:47,000
泡妞还要用风骚咒 你也太烂了

943
00:52:47,006 --> 00:52:48,669
就算泡上了也没面子

944
00:52:49,566 --> 00:52:52,156
你知不知道风骚咒有多厉害啊

945
00:52:53,181 --> 00:52:55,484
咒无虚发 发不可收

946
00:52:55,739 --> 00:52:57,179
这种功夫我不会教你的

947
00:52:57,948 --> 00:53:00,379
算了 我只想研究一下嘛

948
00:53:04,444 --> 00:53:07,131
有点累了 先回去睡一觉

949
00:53:12,063 --> 00:53:13,240
哎 什么大不了的事情

950
00:53:13,247 --> 00:53:14,300
还把我带到你家来

951
00:53:14,589 --> 00:53:16,090
哦 哎 其实也没什么了

952
00:53:16,093 --> 00:53:17,214
闲着也是闲着嘛

953
00:53:17,215 --> 00:53:20,572
上来坐坐 喝杯茶 聊聊天

954
00:53:20,574 --> 00:53:21,792
联络一下感情嘛

955
00:53:52,529 --> 00:53:54,930
怎么是你 阿锦 阿星来了

956
00:53:54,940 --> 00:53:55,641
哦…

957
00:53:57,403 --> 00:53:57,881
我先走了

958
00:53:58,397 --> 00:54:01,435
哎…你怎么走了呢 哎…

959
00:54:02,877 --> 00:54:03,963
咒出不可收啊

960
00:54:06,172 --> 00:54:06,812
猫就猫吧

961
00:54:11,739 --> 00:54:12,573
你撞…

962
00:54:17,981 --> 00:54:19,517
哎…

963
00:54:25,468 --> 00:54:26,876
干什么 找阿玉是不是

964
00:54:26,877 --> 00:54:27,450
她还没回来

965
00:54:28,670 --> 00:54:30,010
喂 你…

966
00:54:31,870 --> 00:54:32,382
我走了

967
00:54:35,292 --> 00:54:36,315
我说过阿玉没回来

968
00:54:37,692 --> 00:54:38,333
我知道

969
00:54:42,334 --> 00:54:42,782
干什么

970
00:54:44,863 --> 00:54:45,503
你哪儿不对劲

971
00:55:00,702 --> 00:55:01,534
干什么

972
00:55:02,174 --> 00:55:05,151
阿锦 锦郎

973
00:55:06,493 --> 00:55:09,408
我…我好无聊啊

974
00:55:11,423 --> 00:55:12,764
臭小子 你干什么

975
00:55:12,765 --> 00:55:13,921
毛手毛脚 快放手

976
00:55:14,208 --> 00:55:14,720
阿星

977
00:55:15,647 --> 00:55:16,415
放手啊你

978
00:55:17,378 --> 00:55:18,015
你干什么

979
00:55:18,655 --> 00:55:19,584
你男朋友是个同性恋

980
00:55:20,479 --> 00:55:22,559
你干吗这样子说我嘛

981
00:55:26,817 --> 00:55:27,714
我刚才干什么了

982
00:55:27,969 --> 00:55:29,439
你搞同性恋 干什么

983
00:55:29,440 --> 00:55:32,161
嗯 哎…阿玉…

984
00:55:33,665 --> 00:55:35,260
阿玉 你听我说

985
00:55:35,266 --> 00:55:36,929
我刚刚自己也不知道干什么

986
00:55:36,930 --> 00:55:39,136
我是中了一种咒 叫风骚咒

987
00:55:39,523 --> 00:55:41,537
哪有什么风骚咒啊 你少骗我了

988
00:55:41,538 --> 00:55:42,179
鬼才相信你

989
00:55:42,467 --> 00:55:43,298
他是吃你豆腐

990
00:55:43,777 --> 00:55:45,280
是真的 那些风骚咒

991
00:55:45,282 --> 00:55:46,840
我是从标叔那儿拿过来的

992
00:55:46,849 --> 00:55:48,512
标叔 哪个标叔

993
00:55:48,513 --> 00:55:50,593
就是你以前的同事张标啊

994
00:55:50,595 --> 00:55:52,002
你神经病 他死了很久了

995
00:55:53,058 --> 00:55:55,362
我没有办法了 就实话实说了

996
00:55:57,379 --> 00:55:58,403
标叔在这把枪里

997
00:55:58,562 --> 00:55:59,107
你胡说什么

998
00:55:59,651 --> 00:56:01,408
我看你吹牛的功夫比我还要高呢

999
00:56:02,787 --> 00:56:04,996
标叔 快现身 快一点现身呢

1000
00:56:04,997 --> 00:56:06,990
我的长官你又不是不认识 快啊 啊

1001
00:56:06,993 --> 00:56:08,559
爸 我们不要理他

1002
00:56:09,583 --> 00:56:12,466
哎 阿玉 给我两分钟时间

1003
00:56:13,041 --> 00:56:13,619
我马上回来

1004
00:56:20,723 --> 00:56:22,000
全都是我不好

1005
00:56:22,003 --> 00:56:23,312
是我偷了你的符咒

1006
00:56:23,313 --> 00:56:25,360
你要是再不现身我就死定了

1007
00:56:25,971 --> 00:56:28,272
了不起 我自己打我自己三个耳光

1008
00:56:29,586 --> 00:56:30,130
可以了吗

1009
00:56:31,220 --> 00:56:32,179
怎么胡言乱语的

1010
00:56:32,980 --> 00:56:35,892
还是不行 你可别怪我 好

1011
00:56:37,523 --> 00:56:38,290
我也不想这样

1012
00:56:42,259 --> 00:56:42,962
是你逼我的

1013
00:56:46,582 --> 00:56:47,251
受不了吧

1014
00:56:48,213 --> 00:56:49,290
叫你早一点出来

1015
00:56:49,298 --> 00:56:50,835
你就不用受这种苦了嘛

1016
00:56:51,284 --> 00:56:53,493
我看呢 他八成是发神经病了

1017
00:56:54,101 --> 00:56:55,028
会不会出事了

1018
00:56:56,117 --> 00:56:57,974
说的也是 进去看看

1019
00:57:00,916 --> 00:57:02,612
哎呀 你看你搞什么吗

1020
00:57:02,613 --> 00:57:03,446
怎么这样小便呢

1021
00:57:04,276 --> 00:57:05,040
好了…快出去吧

1022
00:57:05,044 --> 00:57:06,067
你这个人恶不恶心啊

1023
00:57:06,901 --> 00:57:08,467
阿玉 阿玉

1024
00:57:14,583 --> 00:57:16,780
哇 不但用小便射我

1025
00:57:16,788 --> 00:57:17,924
还把我冲进马桶里

1026
00:57:17,926 --> 00:57:18,720
再给我点时间解释

1027
00:57:18,726 --> 00:57:19,623
Hi

1028
00:57:21,254 --> 00:57:24,869
哎 我没有骗你吧 真的是鬼

1029
00:57:24,870 --> 00:57:26,720
我怎么会骗你嘛 是不是

1030
00:57:26,725 --> 00:57:28,102
哎…阿玉

1031
00:57:30,855 --> 00:57:31,622
你上来干什么

1032
00:57:32,262 --> 00:57:33,892
下面说我死因不明

1033
00:57:34,024 --> 00:57:34,983
我不上来我去哪儿

1034
00:57:35,206 --> 00:57:37,253
哦 那你就上来整天装神弄鬼的

1035
00:57:37,511 --> 00:57:38,150
是又怎么样

1036
00:57:38,407 --> 00:57:40,870
我不在的时候你居然又作威作福的

1037
00:57:40,871 --> 00:57:42,370
现在知道厉害了吧

1038
00:57:42,375 --> 00:57:44,359
嗯 谁作威作福了 嗯

1039
00:57:44,744 --> 00:57:45,543
不要生气嘛

1040
00:57:45,545 --> 00:57:46,855
你少啰嗦 关你什么事

1041
00:57:46,856 --> 00:57:48,073
你在我身上小便

1042
00:57:48,263 --> 00:57:48,935
都是你惹的祸

1043
00:57:59,081 --> 00:58:00,103
叫你来你不来

1044
00:58:00,105 --> 00:58:03,496
不叫你来你就突然来 真是

1045
00:58:06,635 --> 00:58:09,090
阿星啊 泡妞升职立功

1046
00:58:09,096 --> 00:58:11,274
好的坏的我全都替你做了

1047
00:58:12,169 --> 00:58:13,730
我已经曝露了身份

1048
00:58:13,736 --> 00:58:15,529
你一定要赶快把仇人给我找出来

1049
00:58:16,970 --> 00:58:17,898
我也希望

1050
00:58:18,474 --> 00:58:19,590
你又不知道是谁

1051
00:58:19,595 --> 00:58:21,895
连长什么样你都没见过 我怎么找啊

1052
00:58:22,924 --> 00:58:24,140
不是我不帮你

1053
00:58:26,314 --> 00:58:27,529
哎 我想起来了

1054
00:58:27,530 --> 00:58:28,075
嗯

1055
00:58:28,459 --> 00:58:29,320
他杀我的时候

1056
00:58:29,323 --> 00:58:30,633
身上有股很重的味道

1057
00:58:30,857 --> 00:58:31,402
什么味道

1058
00:58:32,076 --> 00:58:32,554
狐臭

1059
00:58:34,284 --> 00:58:37,934
嘿 我也有啊 怎么找啊

1060
00:58:39,693 --> 00:58:42,413
哎呀 你身上的是汗味 不是狐臭啊

1061
00:58:43,372 --> 00:58:44,523
哦…

1062
00:58:45,677 --> 00:58:46,222
明白了吧

1063
00:58:46,828 --> 00:58:47,406
明白什么

1064
00:58:48,141 --> 00:58:48,939
我刚刚说的

1065
00:58:49,997 --> 00:58:50,701
你刚才说什么

1066
00:58:54,893 --> 00:58:58,382
哎 阿权…我在这里啊 快点过来 来吧

1067
00:58:59,022 --> 00:58:59,980
阿超 好久不见了

1068
00:58:59,981 --> 00:59:00,719
你上哪去了

1069
00:59:00,720 --> 00:59:01,616
没有 理发嘛

1070
00:59:01,837 --> 00:59:02,440
哎 真的

1071
00:59:02,446 --> 00:59:02,796
对啊

1072
00:59:02,797 --> 00:59:03,501
哇 好帅啊

1073
00:59:03,821 --> 00:59:04,333
谢谢

1074
00:59:04,974 --> 00:59:05,770
哎 干什么你

1075
00:59:05,773 --> 00:59:06,318
干什么

1076
00:59:07,278 --> 00:59:08,360
嗯 神经病

1077
00:59:08,366 --> 00:59:09,080
没事

1078
00:59:09,081 --> 00:59:09,624
神经病

1079
00:59:10,554 --> 00:59:12,190
我最近啊手气真是烂呢

1080
00:59:12,196 --> 00:59:13,989
逢赌必输啊 都输了一大股了

1081
00:59:13,990 --> 00:59:14,692
你不要赌了吧

1082
00:59:14,693 --> 00:59:15,364
不赌怎么行

1083
00:59:15,365 --> 00:59:17,310
哎…你还来 干什么你 搞什么你

1084
00:59:17,317 --> 00:59:18,149
借闻一下嘛

1085
00:59:29,636 --> 00:59:31,782
标叔 你是在这里被杀的

1086
00:59:32,261 --> 00:59:33,318
他们又不是傻瓜

1087
00:59:33,638 --> 00:59:34,855
怎么还会待在这里呢

1088
00:59:35,239 --> 00:59:36,190
你没听过

1089
00:59:36,198 --> 00:59:38,590
最危险的地方就是最安全的地方

1090
00:59:38,596 --> 00:59:40,036
他们以为我死了

1091
00:59:40,038 --> 00:59:41,831
又怎么会想到死人会报仇呢

1092
00:59:42,279 --> 00:59:43,364
话可不能这么说

1093
00:59:43,589 --> 00:59:44,773
我要不是因为撞到你

1094
00:59:45,189 --> 00:59:46,243
我也不知道这件事

1095
00:59:47,847 --> 00:59:49,444
哎…从这爬过去

1096
00:59:49,861 --> 00:59:52,645
我上一次也是从这爬过去调查的

1097
01:00:05,915 --> 01:00:09,882
哇 真的有毒品哎 标叔 标叔

1098
01:00:21,565 --> 01:00:23,170
快一点嘛 每次都这么慢呢

1099
01:00:23,175 --> 01:00:24,260
好了…

1100
01:00:24,264 --> 01:00:26,023
来 哎…

1101
01:01:00,374 --> 01:01:01,140
你想干什么你

1102
01:01:01,142 --> 01:01:03,256
干什么 走掉嘛

1103
01:01:03,769 --> 01:01:04,727
你不要扣扳机哦

1104
01:01:05,590 --> 01:01:06,160
干什么你

1105
01:01:06,167 --> 01:01:06,869
躲开嘛你

1106
01:01:27,737 --> 01:01:28,770
哎 怎么样

1107
01:01:28,772 --> 01:01:29,730
快去干掉他

1108
01:01:29,731 --> 01:01:30,277
好

1109
01:01:32,803 --> 01:01:34,979
标叔 你能不能让我再过瘾一点

1110
01:01:34,980 --> 01:01:36,260
你想过瘾 可以

1111
01:01:47,773 --> 01:01:48,675
过不过瘾

1112
01:01:48,868 --> 01:01:50,084
可惜没有带照相机

1113
01:01:50,822 --> 01:01:51,299
嗯

1114
01:01:53,668 --> 01:01:56,932
哈 这一下我可发了 标叔 谢了

1115
01:01:57,862 --> 01:01:59,492
臭小子 敢到我这来撒野

1116
01:02:00,901 --> 01:02:02,181
哇 好臭哦

1117
01:02:02,694 --> 01:02:03,240
臭你妈

1118
01:02:03,430 --> 01:02:04,003
就是他

1119
01:02:28,200 --> 01:02:28,935
你到底想干吗

1120
01:02:32,682 --> 01:02:33,928
我不喜欢那一把

1121
01:02:35,304 --> 01:02:35,911
我闪了

1122
01:02:38,856 --> 01:02:39,785
看你往哪跑

1123
01:02:44,041 --> 01:02:47,816
哎…我明明打中他 他怎么还跑啊

1124
01:02:48,299 --> 01:02:49,129
耍无赖嘛

1125
01:02:49,384 --> 01:02:51,242
他不是无赖 他身上有法宝

1126
01:02:51,592 --> 01:02:52,168
嗯

1127
01:02:52,522 --> 01:02:53,354
有法宝

1128
01:02:53,769 --> 01:02:54,537
哦 哦

1129
01:02:57,706 --> 01:02:58,923
幸亏有你的护身符

1130
01:03:00,010 --> 01:03:02,729
否则我已经死了

1131
01:03:04,393 --> 01:03:05,674
他是被你杀死的

1132
01:03:06,025 --> 01:03:07,818
现在叫那个臭小子回来报仇

1133
01:03:09,739 --> 01:03:10,572
那个王八蛋

1134
01:03:12,587 --> 01:03:13,929
死了都不肯放过我

1135
01:03:15,081 --> 01:03:15,721
法师

1136
01:03:17,195 --> 01:03:19,020
这个人你一定要把他处理掉

1137
01:03:19,595 --> 01:03:21,195
你放心的留在这里

1138
01:03:22,219 --> 01:03:26,955
对付这个小鬼 本法师早有妙计

1139
01:03:30,157 --> 01:03:31,050
祖师爷在上

1140
01:03:31,755 --> 01:03:34,637
弟子这次被张标 还有阿星那臭小子

1141
01:03:35,179 --> 01:03:36,332
整得好惨呢

1142
01:03:37,389 --> 01:03:40,236
好事全归他们 整天都耍我

1143
01:03:40,748 --> 01:03:42,317
还打我女儿的主意

1144
01:03:43,404 --> 01:03:45,868
祖师爷 你的法力高深

1145
01:03:46,410 --> 01:03:48,779
这一次一定要帮弟子出这口气

1146
01:03:55,361 --> 01:03:56,099
祖师爷下凡了

1147
01:03:59,299 --> 01:04:00,547
弟子李锦

1148
01:04:00,869 --> 01:04:03,491
本祖师知道你被小鬼张标逼害

1149
01:04:03,749 --> 01:04:06,116
所以本祖师亲自下凡

1150
01:04:06,595 --> 01:04:08,100
赐你灵符一度

1151
01:04:08,964 --> 01:04:10,821
你把它贴在枪管之内

1152
01:04:11,076 --> 01:04:14,309
就可以禁锢那个小鬼 以示惩戒

1153
01:04:14,628 --> 01:04:15,395
多谢祖师爷

1154
01:04:15,843 --> 01:04:17,410
你出去依法行事

1155
01:04:17,412 --> 01:04:17,989
是

1156
01:04:33,062 --> 01:04:33,639
阿星

1157
01:04:33,796 --> 01:04:34,341
回来了

1158
01:04:34,342 --> 01:04:34,820
约会啊

1159
01:04:34,825 --> 01:04:35,430
哎

1160
01:04:35,749 --> 01:04:37,123
哎 带枪了没有

1161
01:04:37,124 --> 01:04:37,602
有啊

1162
01:04:37,893 --> 01:04:39,360
哎 带什么枪呢

1163
01:04:39,366 --> 01:04:41,091
跟阿玉出去带枪不太方便吧

1164
01:04:41,318 --> 01:04:43,111
枪支泛滥 不带多危险呢

1165
01:04:43,112 --> 01:04:45,445
怕什么 再说人总要有点私生活

1166
01:04:45,638 --> 01:04:47,526
没事带个电灯泡在身边干什么呢

1167
01:04:48,071 --> 01:04:48,646
有道理

1168
01:04:50,151 --> 01:04:51,623
这个老家伙挺烦人的

1169
01:04:51,879 --> 01:04:53,253
我让你们两个叙叙旧

1170
01:04:53,254 --> 01:04:54,695
好…你们去吧

1171
01:04:57,128 --> 01:04:59,040
爸 我们走了 哦 拜拜

1172
01:04:59,048 --> 01:05:00,935
哦 拜拜 哎 别急着回来

1173
01:05:01,574 --> 01:05:02,022
要你管

1174
01:05:11,146 --> 01:05:14,248
把你堵死 我就不信你还能出得来 哼

1175
01:05:41,130 --> 01:05:43,498
放我出来…

1176
01:05:44,714 --> 01:05:45,964
你永远也出不来了

1177
01:05:46,955 --> 01:05:49,164
我们黑教的捉鬼精棺

1178
01:05:49,739 --> 01:05:51,018
就是你的克星

1179
01:05:51,882 --> 01:05:54,988
用不了多久 你就会灰飞烟灭

1180
01:05:56,652 --> 01:05:59,148
放我出来…

1181
01:06:09,290 --> 01:06:09,803
阿玉啊

1182
01:06:10,029 --> 01:06:10,541
什么

1183
01:06:12,764 --> 01:06:14,299
听说我们已经抱了好久

1184
01:06:14,300 --> 01:06:14,876
是啊

1185
01:06:17,405 --> 01:06:18,107
你觉得怎么样

1186
01:06:18,781 --> 01:06:19,707
很好玩啊

1187
01:06:20,094 --> 01:06:24,125
啊 我…我看这样…这样好不好

1188
01:06:25,599 --> 01:06:27,295
我们玩一点别的游戏

1189
01:06:27,936 --> 01:06:28,520
什么

1190
01:06:29,126 --> 01:06:32,712
譬如说 亲亲嘴呢

1191
01:06:32,713 --> 01:06:36,777
嗯 不要了 让别人看到多不好意思

1192
01:06:37,289 --> 01:06:38,510
哪会有人看我们嘛

1193
01:06:38,517 --> 01:06:40,116
谁说没有人呢 嗯

1194
01:06:41,909 --> 01:06:43,860
哦…我的枪

1195
01:06:46,611 --> 01:06:47,187
什么事

1196
01:06:47,541 --> 01:06:49,299
你该知道是什么事啊 啊

1197
01:06:50,165 --> 01:06:50,611
不知道

1198
01:06:52,022 --> 01:06:52,533
你知不知道

1199
01:06:53,523 --> 01:06:55,156
我知道 没事

1200
01:06:58,420 --> 01:07:00,018
没事你还不快跑 嗯

1201
01:07:04,949 --> 01:07:05,870
标叔

1202
01:07:05,877 --> 01:07:08,660
嗯…啊 你认识我

1203
01:07:08,662 --> 01:07:11,380
呃 不…完全误会 我不认识…

1204
01:07:22,344 --> 01:07:25,294
他今天运动量够了 走吧

1205
01:07:25,296 --> 01:07:26,544
好 走了

1206
01:07:27,921 --> 01:07:28,944
Bye

1207
01:07:35,536 --> 01:07:36,080
在那边

1208
01:07:36,085 --> 01:07:37,711
哦…快点

1209
01:07:39,217 --> 01:07:40,590
你也来得太早了吧

1210
01:07:41,392 --> 01:07:43,025
给我一点机会表现嘛

1211
01:07:49,010 --> 01:07:50,192
小心点 你没事吧

1212
01:07:57,008 --> 01:07:58,737
你先躺下 我去拿药给你擦啊

1213
01:08:04,817 --> 01:08:06,801
他没有道理不救我

1214
01:08:08,402 --> 01:08:10,769
哼哼哼哼 阿标

1215
01:08:10,771 --> 01:08:12,787
你终于栽在我的手上了吧

1216
01:08:14,324 --> 01:08:17,073
祖师爷在上 请受弟子李锦一拜

1217
01:08:18,548 --> 01:08:21,000
谢谢祖师爷下凡赐灵符

1218
01:08:21,010 --> 01:08:23,251
把阿标锁住 让我出了这口气

1219
01:08:24,403 --> 01:08:25,140
阿星

1220
01:08:25,141 --> 01:08:28,213
这一次可整到了阿标跟阿星他们两个人了

1221
01:08:33,073 --> 01:08:34,354
原来是你在搞鬼

1222
01:08:34,643 --> 01:08:36,084
爸 你为什么要这么做

1223
01:08:36,405 --> 01:08:38,004
谁叫他们两个人老是爱整我

1224
01:08:38,454 --> 01:08:41,076
爸 刚才阿星差点让邓李洋给打死了

1225
01:08:41,974 --> 01:08:43,284
邓李洋还敢出来

1226
01:08:43,285 --> 01:08:45,012
少说废话了 先把标叔弄出来再说

1227
01:08:46,910 --> 01:08:47,422
标叔

1228
01:08:48,317 --> 01:08:48,957
来 我来

1229
01:08:51,743 --> 01:08:52,190
好了

1230
01:08:52,637 --> 01:08:54,014
标叔 你出来

1231
01:08:54,430 --> 01:08:55,359
怎么了 阿星

1232
01:08:55,582 --> 01:08:58,078
标叔 哎 他睡着嘞

1233
01:08:58,686 --> 01:09:02,077
起来嘞 天亮了哎 标叔 标叔

1234
01:09:02,944 --> 01:09:03,775
哎

1235
01:09:05,567 --> 01:09:06,495
哎 出来了

1236
01:09:07,325 --> 01:09:08,766
标叔要是不见 你就给我小心一点

1237
01:09:09,610 --> 01:09:11,881
不可能啊 我问一下祖师爷

1238
01:09:13,515 --> 01:09:16,000
祖师爷在上 弟子把灵符拿走

1239
01:09:16,009 --> 01:09:17,354
还是不能把张标放出来

1240
01:09:17,580 --> 01:09:19,561
有什么差错 请祖师爷指点

1241
01:09:23,062 --> 01:09:26,262
你这个不肖子弟 心术不正

1242
01:09:26,773 --> 01:09:28,949
被妖孽利用 闯下大祸

1243
01:09:29,495 --> 01:09:31,959
本祖师爷从未亲身下凡

1244
01:09:32,120 --> 01:09:34,350
也没有把那些欺压善良

1245
01:09:34,358 --> 01:09:36,086
害人害物的妖符给你

1246
01:09:36,984 --> 01:09:38,070
标叔被谁抓去了

1247
01:09:38,582 --> 01:09:41,750
呃 这个妖孽是张标的克星

1248
01:09:41,977 --> 01:09:44,789
受了张标的仇人邓李洋的指示

1249
01:09:44,982 --> 01:09:46,357
假扮本祖师

1250
01:09:46,358 --> 01:09:49,591
利用本门不肖弟子把张标抓走

1251
01:09:49,909 --> 01:09:52,469
然后关在邪教的捉鬼精棺里

1252
01:09:53,945 --> 01:09:55,318
有什么办法可以救他出来

1253
01:09:56,485 --> 01:09:58,630
这个捉鬼精棺非常邪恶

1254
01:09:58,631 --> 01:10:02,472
以本祖师的法力 还没有办法破解它

1255
01:10:02,473 --> 01:10:04,554
哦 那标叔死定了

1256
01:10:05,034 --> 01:10:07,243
祖师爷 祈求你大发慈悲想想办法

1257
01:10:07,657 --> 01:10:10,856
我只能把破精棺的法宝写在你身上

1258
01:10:11,081 --> 01:10:13,642
你能找到它 就可以救张标了

1259
01:10:13,993 --> 01:10:15,145
麻烦你 请你快一点

1260
01:10:16,522 --> 01:10:17,833
请这位小姐回避

1261
01:10:18,025 --> 01:10:18,825
哦…

1262
01:10:53,404 --> 01:10:55,196
祖师爷 请你快点 我快忍不住了

1263
01:11:19,347 --> 01:11:21,268
对不起啊 我实在怕痒

1264
01:11:22,197 --> 01:11:23,477
明天再写嘛

1265
01:11:28,183 --> 01:11:28,725
写完了

1266
01:11:31,734 --> 01:11:32,790
祖师爷走了 我看看

1267
01:11:32,791 --> 01:11:33,811
哦…

1268
01:11:36,299 --> 01:11:37,770
哎哟 怎么全弄花了

1269
01:11:37,771 --> 01:11:41,387
啊 哇 大概被我抓掉了 还看得清楚吗

1270
01:11:41,388 --> 01:11:42,660
还可以了 我看看

1271
01:11:42,668 --> 01:11:43,372
玉女尿

1272
01:11:43,820 --> 01:11:45,482
神台猫屎

1273
01:11:45,934 --> 01:11:48,267
大仙 大仙什么

1274
01:11:48,556 --> 01:11:51,910
哦 屁 大仙屁  不要

1275
01:11:51,916 --> 01:11:52,870
你偷看人家屁屁

1276
01:11:52,875 --> 01:11:53,865
下次让你看回来嘛

1277
01:11:54,028 --> 01:11:54,600
真的嘛

1278
01:11:54,604 --> 01:11:56,427
真的 看祖师爷的

1279
01:11:56,428 --> 01:11:58,060
哦 谢谢祖师爷

1280
01:12:00,076 --> 01:12:01,037
怎么会不吃呢

1281
01:12:01,708 --> 01:12:03,724
我弄的全是海鲜 它应该喜欢吃

1282
01:12:08,493 --> 01:12:09,227
怎么样 吃了没有

1283
01:12:09,486 --> 01:12:11,373
没有啊 真是奇怪了

1284
01:12:11,374 --> 01:12:12,654
它说什么就是不肯吃

1285
01:12:12,910 --> 01:12:16,908
嗯 嗨呀 平常不给它吃 对它这么坏

1286
01:12:16,909 --> 01:12:18,700
今天突然给它吃这么多好东西

1287
01:12:18,703 --> 01:12:19,789
它怕你毒死它

1288
01:12:20,463 --> 01:12:21,134
那该怎么办呢

1289
01:12:21,743 --> 01:12:22,829
先让我示范一次

1290
01:12:23,022 --> 01:12:24,238
它自然就会跟着吃了

1291
01:12:24,433 --> 01:12:24,910
那好 来

1292
01:12:24,912 --> 01:12:25,649
嗯

1293
01:12:31,228 --> 01:12:32,967
我是猫 你看好啊

1294
01:12:33,864 --> 01:12:35,494
这么好东西不吃 太浪费了

1295
01:12:39,176 --> 01:12:39,878
你这个鱼不错

1296
01:12:43,111 --> 01:12:46,663
嗯 哎 肉都吃光嘞

1297
01:12:49,992 --> 01:12:50,632
咸了一点

1298
01:12:51,206 --> 01:12:52,646
这全让你吃完了 怎么办呢

1299
01:12:53,224 --> 01:12:55,719
我是给它机会好让它看清楚嘛

1300
01:12:57,432 --> 01:12:59,385
嗯 你看吧

1301
01:13:01,145 --> 01:13:01,849
要示范嘛

1302
01:13:03,610 --> 01:13:04,473
都很新鲜

1303
01:13:05,019 --> 01:13:06,777
不过味道就是有点怪怪的

1304
01:13:07,416 --> 01:13:08,923
不会啊 我只加了点泻盐呢

1305
01:13:18,683 --> 01:13:19,292
你想干啥

1306
01:13:20,347 --> 01:13:22,492
看你示范拉屎啊 不然它怎么拉

1307
01:13:23,066 --> 01:13:24,028
哎 看

1308
01:13:30,459 --> 01:13:31,866
乖 快点拉

1309
01:13:32,217 --> 01:13:33,594
看完了示范该你喽

1310
01:13:41,629 --> 01:13:42,845
哎 师婆

1311
01:13:43,069 --> 01:13:44,444
呃 什么事啊 长官

1312
01:13:44,445 --> 01:13:45,052
还没下班呢

1313
01:13:45,500 --> 01:13:47,965
就快要下班了 做完这些就下班了

1314
01:13:47,966 --> 01:13:50,973
哦 对 师婆 我知道你工作很累

1315
01:13:50,974 --> 01:13:52,440
买了汽水给你解解渴

1316
01:13:52,446 --> 01:13:54,931
你对我这么好啊 这么大瓶啊

1317
01:13:54,932 --> 01:13:56,605
小意思 你客气什么呢

1318
01:13:57,021 --> 01:13:59,387
等一下啊 让我拿个杯子啊

1319
01:13:59,389 --> 01:14:01,501
不用杯子了 对着瓶子喝就行了嘛

1320
01:14:02,014 --> 01:14:02,970
一大瓶啊

1321
01:14:02,976 --> 01:14:03,915
大瓶才过瘾呢

1322
01:14:04,455 --> 01:14:05,001
也好

1323
01:14:13,099 --> 01:14:15,050
哎哟 你真棒啊 喝光了

1324
01:14:15,051 --> 01:14:17,769
还有…来…再一瓶

1325
01:14:17,930 --> 01:14:18,731
还有啊

1326
01:14:26,571 --> 01:14:27,081
喝光了

1327
01:14:27,082 --> 01:14:28,521
师婆 你真行啊

1328
01:14:28,716 --> 01:14:31,691
来 呃 天气太热了啊 来

1329
01:14:31,692 --> 01:14:32,710
还喝 好

1330
01:14:32,715 --> 01:14:33,867
来 喝吧 喝吧

1331
01:14:40,502 --> 01:14:42,774
哎 真是了不起 师婆 够不够 啊

1332
01:14:43,127 --> 01:14:44,309
哎哟 糟了 全喝光了

1333
01:14:44,310 --> 01:14:46,356
我再去给你买回来啊 你等一等

1334
01:14:46,357 --> 01:14:49,343
这小子真奇怪 突然对我这么好

1335
01:14:54,401 --> 01:14:56,031
哼 我就不信你不尿尿

1336
01:15:02,720 --> 01:15:03,487
你想干什么 啊

1337
01:15:03,489 --> 01:15:04,512
哎 对不起…

1338
01:15:04,513 --> 01:15:07,870
哼 你这个老色狼 想偷看女人嘘嘘

1339
01:15:07,871 --> 01:15:09,503
没事请我喝汽水

1340
01:15:09,504 --> 01:15:11,293
我就知道你没安好心眼

1341
01:15:11,553 --> 01:15:13,853
哼 我才不随便让人看

1342
01:15:27,840 --> 01:15:29,280
你也想偷看我

1343
01:15:35,842 --> 01:15:37,667
喂 哎 尿慢一点

1344
01:15:39,650 --> 01:15:40,322
尿了没有

1345
01:15:41,026 --> 01:15:41,571
正在尿

1346
01:15:42,433 --> 01:15:44,002
什么 这样也行啊

1347
01:15:52,100 --> 01:15:55,480
阿星啊 你让我一口气吃这么多烤番薯

1348
01:15:55,490 --> 01:15:56,770
还有这么些花生

1349
01:15:57,154 --> 01:15:58,627
够了没有 我受不了了

1350
01:15:58,947 --> 01:16:00,132
你再忍耐一下嘛

1351
01:16:00,387 --> 01:16:01,698
等我把这玻璃圈弄好就好了

1352
01:16:03,811 --> 01:16:05,829
不要光顾着吃 来 喝点水

1353
01:16:06,114 --> 01:16:07,395
嗯 还要喝水啊

1354
01:16:07,396 --> 01:16:07,907
嗯

1355
01:16:11,492 --> 01:16:12,004
预备了

1356
01:16:13,637 --> 01:16:14,149
开始

1357
01:16:19,398 --> 01:16:20,068
祖师爷在上

1358
01:16:20,579 --> 01:16:21,530
弟子诚心祷告

1359
01:16:21,540 --> 01:16:22,895
请祖师爷附身授法

1360
01:16:27,748 --> 01:16:28,260
来了

1361
01:16:33,606 --> 01:16:34,065
很好

1362
01:16:36,400 --> 01:16:38,702
哎 继续

1363
01:16:39,827 --> 01:16:40,338
用力啊

1364
01:16:41,490 --> 01:16:43,506
再用一点力 继续

1365
01:16:47,708 --> 01:16:49,052
加油 加油啊

1366
01:16:55,388 --> 01:16:55,868
憋着

1367
01:16:57,885 --> 01:16:59,710
哇 你的屁股能积这么多气

1368
01:16:59,868 --> 01:17:01,404
好像是在表演特技

1369
01:17:01,661 --> 01:17:03,807
嗯 哎 继续啊 继续

1370
01:17:08,189 --> 01:17:09,212
停 够了

1371
01:17:09,567 --> 01:17:10,910
我停不住啊

1372
01:17:21,727 --> 01:17:25,086
哎呀 好臭啊…

1373
01:17:25,088 --> 01:17:26,976
哎呀 谁不知道臭啊 我也不想这样

1374
01:17:27,489 --> 01:17:28,862
哎哟 糟了 全散了

1375
01:17:29,119 --> 01:17:31,935
哎 快帮忙把屁捞回来 快散光了

1376
01:17:33,856 --> 01:17:35,040
快点过来帮忙啊

1377
01:17:36,064 --> 01:17:37,792
快点…快点行不行啊

1378
01:17:37,794 --> 01:17:39,871
哎 嗯 干吗

1379
01:17:44,896 --> 01:17:47,328
这么臭你也还含在嘴里 你还真厉害

1380
01:18:03,268 --> 01:18:03,875
神台猫屎

1381
01:18:08,483 --> 01:18:08,995
玉女尿

1382
01:18:14,660 --> 01:18:15,202
大仙屁

1383
01:18:17,377 --> 01:18:17,987
预备

1384
01:18:19,171 --> 01:18:19,683
好

1385
01:18:25,570 --> 01:18:26,115
成功了

1386
01:18:26,916 --> 01:18:29,283
好极了 快带所有法宝去救阿标

1387
01:18:29,284 --> 01:18:29,761
好

1388
01:18:32,227 --> 01:18:32,804
都准备好了吗

1389
01:18:33,189 --> 01:18:33,667
都准备好了

1390
01:18:34,340 --> 01:18:36,610
哎 就这个 你换把大的嘛

1391
01:18:36,612 --> 01:18:39,172
哎呀 杀鸡焉需用牛刀啊 这把是足够了

1392
01:18:39,493 --> 01:18:40,100
行不行啊

1393
01:18:40,105 --> 01:18:41,380
一定行的了 走吧

1394
01:19:01,342 --> 01:19:02,303
快点 走啊

1395
01:19:07,433 --> 01:19:08,330
哎 真的在这里

1396
01:19:08,553 --> 01:19:09,672
标叔 我们来救你了

1397
01:19:09,674 --> 01:19:11,337
哎呀 少废话了 快把他救出来

1398
01:19:21,483 --> 01:19:23,306
嗯 没反应啊

1399
01:19:23,498 --> 01:19:24,043
喂

1400
01:19:24,971 --> 01:19:25,931
你怎么不嘿

1401
01:19:26,187 --> 01:19:28,171
哎呀 嘿得太多 我怕观众不喜欢

1402
01:19:28,618 --> 01:19:29,130
也有道理

1403
01:19:29,612 --> 01:19:31,499
哎呀 糟糕了 我们中计了

1404
01:19:31,691 --> 01:19:33,035
这个不是真的捉鬼精棺呢

1405
01:19:35,756 --> 01:19:36,619
你猜得不错

1406
01:19:37,099 --> 01:19:38,956
我只要用一个假棺材

1407
01:19:38,957 --> 01:19:40,940
就可以把你们千辛万苦找到的

1408
01:19:40,941 --> 01:19:42,764
破精棺法宝给毁了

1409
01:19:46,349 --> 01:19:49,611
真的精棺在这儿

1410
01:19:55,086 --> 01:19:55,532
阿标

1411
01:19:58,189 --> 01:20:01,900
喽 除非你们再去找一些破精棺的法宝

1412
01:20:02,126 --> 01:20:03,819
才能把那个死老鬼救回来

1413
01:20:04,460 --> 01:20:05,677
笨蛋不多喽

1414
01:20:10,060 --> 01:20:11,500
哎 他骂你笨蛋

1415
01:20:12,047 --> 01:20:14,223
还好 嗯 不过比他聪明一点

1416
01:20:16,498 --> 01:20:17,427
嗯 上

1417
01:20:18,548 --> 01:20:19,444
莫名其妙

1418
01:20:20,372 --> 01:20:22,419
猪八戒的妈是怎么死的

1419
01:20:22,420 --> 01:20:24,529
跟我作对 你找死哦

1420
01:20:24,820 --> 01:20:25,459
你开枪啊

1421
01:20:25,653 --> 01:20:27,221
你一开枪让你变成马蜂窝

1422
01:20:27,764 --> 01:20:28,885
什么东西

1423
01:20:29,428 --> 01:20:31,413
你这个死老鬼还在我手上

1424
01:20:31,572 --> 01:20:33,366
我就不信你能把我怎么样

1425
01:20:33,750 --> 01:20:36,820
你想玩吗 好 来啊 哥哥我奉陪

1426
01:20:37,503 --> 01:20:38,721
我又没说要跟你玩

1427
01:20:47,315 --> 01:20:48,595
啊 阿标

1428
01:20:49,494 --> 01:20:50,162
开枪

1429
01:20:50,163 --> 01:20:50,962
哦…

1430
01:20:58,720 --> 01:20:59,265
王八蛋

1431
01:21:02,623 --> 01:21:03,103
标叔

1432
01:21:10,880 --> 01:21:13,739
凭你这点小把戏就想对付我吗

1433
01:21:18,542 --> 01:21:19,182
标叔

1434
01:21:24,813 --> 01:21:26,443
哇 阿标你真行哎

1435
01:21:26,444 --> 01:21:28,140
嗯 标叔 你帅呆了

1436
01:21:28,141 --> 01:21:29,700
你掩护我 我去扁他

1437
01:21:29,707 --> 01:21:31,146
哎…

1438
01:21:39,663 --> 01:21:40,205
阿星

1439
01:21:40,910 --> 01:21:42,180
阿星啊 你没事吧

1440
01:21:42,189 --> 01:21:43,819
标叔 你不是要掩护我吗

1441
01:21:44,142 --> 01:21:45,070
我掩护个屁啊

1442
01:21:45,080 --> 01:21:46,670
我连自己都管不了了

1443
01:21:46,679 --> 01:21:47,352
你说什么

1444
01:21:49,718 --> 01:21:50,517
来吧 标叔

1445
01:22:04,822 --> 01:22:06,016
哎 阿标 该你出马了

1446
01:22:06,627 --> 01:22:08,268
他这么丑我才不要呢

1447
01:22:31,754 --> 01:22:32,426
标叔 救我

1448
01:22:32,427 --> 01:22:33,930
哎 你再不出马 阿星挺不住了

1449
01:22:34,218 --> 01:22:35,140
我出什么马

1450
01:22:35,147 --> 01:22:37,700
我到现在还不知道我是男是女  标叔 救我啊

1451
01:22:37,707 --> 01:22:38,570
胡说八道什么你

1452
01:22:38,922 --> 01:22:41,830
哎呀 标叔 你怎么变这样子呢

1453
01:22:41,835 --> 01:22:43,650
哦 你的胡子好性感哦

1454
01:22:43,658 --> 01:22:45,450
干什么 拉拉扯扯的 你恶心死了你

1455
01:22:48,234 --> 01:22:50,380
我受不了了

1456
01:22:57,399 --> 01:22:59,061
哼 祖师爷大显威灵

1457
01:23:06,486 --> 01:23:07,158
扶苏剑

1458
01:23:10,428 --> 01:23:13,620
阿星 你有没有受伤啊 啊

1459
01:23:13,629 --> 01:23:15,847
标叔 你是不是叫人家给阉了

1460
01:23:16,231 --> 01:23:17,120
哎 让我看看

1461
01:23:17,127 --> 01:23:18,663
要死了 不要乱摸

1462
01:23:18,920 --> 01:23:20,201
很多人会看到的

1463
01:23:33,706 --> 01:23:35,530
本祖师跟你一决高下

1464
01:23:52,437 --> 01:23:54,313
哎哟 好棒…

1465
01:23:56,392 --> 01:24:01,095
嗯 哎 啊 怎么搞的 祖师爷不见了 哎

1466
01:24:04,327 --> 01:24:05,669
哎呀 糟了 他支持不住了

1467
01:24:06,823 --> 01:24:08,487
哎呀 我不是叫你换把大的吗

1468
01:24:08,488 --> 01:24:09,768
你就是不听话嘛

1469
01:24:27,146 --> 01:24:28,455
妖孽 放开我的手

1470
01:24:29,514 --> 01:24:31,306
标叔 现在该怎么办

1471
01:24:31,689 --> 01:24:32,906
我身上没有符啊

1472
01:24:33,449 --> 01:24:34,762
符 我有

1473
01:24:47,820 --> 01:24:48,364
怎么了

1474
01:24:48,777 --> 01:24:51,490
哎呀 有符也没用啊 连我都不灵了

1475
01:24:51,498 --> 01:24:52,138
还给你

1476
01:25:06,987 --> 01:25:11,789
屁股着火了 屁股着火了 快啊…

1477
01:25:18,284 --> 01:25:19,821
哇 你好像马拉度那

1478
01:25:20,300 --> 01:25:20,911
还来

1479
01:25:21,901 --> 01:25:23,436
照挂 你给我死

1480
01:25:23,793 --> 01:25:26,065
嘿 比利也不过如此 再来一个

1481
01:25:30,430 --> 01:25:31,549
哇 太大喽

1482
01:25:47,806 --> 01:25:48,573
帮我把手解开

1483
01:25:48,574 --> 01:25:49,438
哦…

1484
01:25:51,998 --> 01:25:52,543
好了

1485
01:25:54,174 --> 01:25:55,930
祖师不是说只要得到三样法宝

1486
01:25:55,935 --> 01:25:56,988
就可以替标叔解咒

1487
01:25:56,989 --> 01:25:57,983
怎么会不灵的呢

1488
01:25:57,984 --> 01:26:00,127
哎呀 可能不是三样 是四样啊

1489
01:26:00,479 --> 01:26:01,183
四样

1490
01:26:01,438 --> 01:26:02,143
你看那个德性

1491
01:26:02,367 --> 01:26:03,520
一定少了童子尿了

1492
01:26:03,873 --> 01:26:06,527
童子尿 啊 一定是那些被我抓掉

1493
01:26:06,529 --> 01:26:07,040
现在怎么办

1494
01:26:07,423 --> 01:26:09,149
快找个处男来尿尿啊

1495
01:26:09,472 --> 01:26:12,512
呃 哎 行 马上来

1496
01:26:16,896 --> 01:26:18,912
哎…你到现在还是个处男呢

1497
01:26:26,797 --> 01:26:27,531
来了 童子尿

1498
01:26:27,758 --> 01:26:28,599
真的假的

1499
01:26:28,760 --> 01:26:29,272
真的

1500
01:26:46,456 --> 01:26:47,064
把符给我

1501
01:26:47,321 --> 01:26:49,241
哦 接着

1502
01:26:53,465 --> 01:26:53,880
怎么办

1503
01:26:53,881 --> 01:26:54,359
什么

1504
01:26:54,361 --> 01:26:55,417
那个妖孽好厉害

1505
01:26:55,418 --> 01:26:57,081
哎哟 先把这个拿开呀

1506
01:26:57,082 --> 01:26:57,946
哦…

1507
01:27:12,012 --> 01:27:13,746
那个丑妖孽想跟我们同归于尽啊

1508
01:27:13,747 --> 01:27:15,059
啊 怎么办

1509
01:27:15,060 --> 01:27:15,660
把铁板拿开

1510
01:27:15,667 --> 01:27:16,979
哦…别打

1511
01:27:24,307 --> 01:27:25,042
送我出去

1512
01:27:40,852 --> 01:27:41,430
阿标

1513
01:27:48,085 --> 01:27:49,046
阿标 你怎么了

1514
01:27:50,454 --> 01:27:51,542
标叔 你没事吧

1515
01:27:52,375 --> 01:27:54,160
祖师爷 鬼怎么会受伤的

1516
01:27:54,165 --> 01:27:55,605
祖师爷早就走喽 我怎么知道

1517
01:27:56,726 --> 01:27:59,958
我现在魂魄不全 恐怕报不了仇了

1518
01:28:00,117 --> 01:28:00,789
阿标

1519
01:28:01,495 --> 01:28:04,279
邓李洋 带种的话你给我出来

1520
01:28:05,847 --> 01:28:06,486
阿玉

1521
01:28:07,894 --> 01:28:10,325
你找我吗 我在这里

1522
01:28:10,936 --> 01:28:11,660
阿玉 不许动

1523
01:28:11,670 --> 01:28:12,726
把枪放下 阿玉

1524
01:28:15,416 --> 01:28:16,886
有种的你就开枪

1525
01:28:17,207 --> 01:28:19,767
一个对一个 我没什么损失

1526
01:28:20,408 --> 01:28:20,985
把枪放下

1527
01:28:22,166 --> 01:28:25,622
哎…快把枪放下 她是我女儿啊

1528
01:28:25,846 --> 01:28:28,277
不要放 放也是死 不放也是死

1529
01:28:31,767 --> 01:28:32,313
那怎么办

1530
01:28:32,985 --> 01:28:34,137
现在全要靠你了

1531
01:28:34,455 --> 01:28:35,159
靠我

1532
01:28:36,569 --> 01:28:37,238
啊

1533
01:28:37,239 --> 01:28:37,912
把枪放下

1534
01:28:39,352 --> 01:28:43,193
快 把枪放下 放下

1535
01:28:44,538 --> 01:28:45,123
拼了

1536
01:28:55,055 --> 01:28:59,757
啊 阿玉…

1537
01:28:59,759 --> 01:29:01,455
阿玉 你醒醒啊 阿玉

1538
01:29:01,678 --> 01:29:03,150
我的仇总算报了

1539
01:29:03,151 --> 01:29:03,664
啊

1540
01:29:04,208 --> 01:29:04,810
爸

1541
01:29:04,816 --> 01:29:05,360
阿玉

1542
01:29:06,417 --> 01:29:07,759
我的心愿已了

1543
01:29:08,751 --> 01:29:09,999
我要回去报到了

1544
01:29:11,639 --> 01:29:12,210
来

1545
01:29:12,214 --> 01:29:12,886
标叔

1546
01:29:14,328 --> 01:29:15,062
还有什么事

1547
01:29:15,415 --> 01:29:16,918
呃 我送你

1548
01:29:17,527 --> 01:29:20,055
我是去上天堂 又不是去旅行

1549
01:29:20,535 --> 01:29:21,720
你跟着去送死

1550
01:29:22,648 --> 01:29:24,994
说的也是 那改天见了

1551
01:29:25,731 --> 01:29:27,970
改天见 那你可有得等了

1552
01:29:28,225 --> 01:29:28,929
放心好了

1553
01:29:29,186 --> 01:29:31,168
要跟你见面呢 我也是第一个

1554
01:29:31,169 --> 01:29:32,130
再过不了多久啊

1555
01:29:32,135 --> 01:29:33,059
我一定会来找你的了

1556
01:29:33,794 --> 01:29:34,145
再见了

1557
01:29:34,146 --> 01:29:35,330
好了 你自己慢慢走了

1558
01:29:37,313 --> 01:29:39,681
清明别忘了给我烧纸钱啊

1559
01:29:39,968 --> 01:29:41,760
哦 一路顺风啊

1560
01:29:42,243 --> 01:29:43,522
有空来信呢

1561
01:29:43,715 --> 01:29:44,995
想上天堂不行啊

1562
01:29:45,538 --> 01:29:47,800
为什么 已经证明我是好人了

1563
01:29:47,810 --> 01:29:48,772
为什么不能上天堂

1564
01:29:49,346 --> 01:29:51,009
现在天堂的移民配额

1565
01:29:51,010 --> 01:29:52,128
全部都已经满了

1566
01:29:52,323 --> 01:29:56,451
想来这儿 凭你的条件恐怕很难喽

1567
01:29:56,709 --> 01:29:57,317
那怎么办

1568
01:29:58,244 --> 01:29:59,170
你可以投资

1569
01:29:59,715 --> 01:30:01,508
做个投资人还可以插队哎

1570
01:30:01,730 --> 01:30:02,499
你有没有带钱呢

1571
01:30:03,552 --> 01:30:05,940
惨了 这一次我没带纸钱来

1572
01:30:05,948 --> 01:30:06,909
没钱啊

1573
01:30:07,612 --> 01:30:09,886
那只有下地狱了 下面不收钱的

1574
01:30:12,926 --> 01:30:14,269
谁是张标 收货

1575
01:30:15,391 --> 01:30:16,349
哎 我就是

1576
01:30:21,152 --> 01:30:23,583
哇 是谁那么聪明 知道我需要这钱

1577
01:30:23,839 --> 01:30:27,101
嘿 哎 啊 是你们

1578
01:30:27,423 --> 01:30:28,766
嘿嘿 谢了啊

1579
01:30:29,919 --> 01:30:32,801
嗯 天堂之门为你而开

1580
01:30:34,495 --> 01:30:35,839
总是要为你设想嘛

1581
01:30:36,031 --> 01:30:38,078
哎 走 我请你们吃午饭去

1582
01:30:38,079 --> 01:30:38,946
好 好啊

1583
01:30:41,056 --> 01:30:42,520
哎 这儿的饭能吃吗

1584
01:30:42,529 --> 01:30:43,361
我正想问你

1585
01:30:43,617 --> 01:30:44,670
你自己慢慢吃吧

1586
01:30:44,672 --> 01:30:46,043
就是啊 拜拜

1587
01:30:46,044 --> 01:30:49,215
哎…别走