Subtitles : GDING
I have a friend, Deborah, a psychologist...
...who was asked by the city of Philadelphia...
...if she could offer psychological counsellng to Cambodlan refugees...
...boat people, who had recently arrived in the city.
Deborah was daunted by the task. These Cambodians...
...had suffered genocide, starvation, relatives murdered before thelr eyes...
...years in refugee camps, harrowing boat trips to the West.
How could she relate to their suffering?
How could she help these people?
So guess what all these people wanted to talk about...
...with my friend Deborah, the psychologist.
lt was all, "I met this guy in the refugee camp.
l thought he really loved me, but when we got separated...
...he took up wlth my cousin. Now he says he loves me...
...and keeps calling me. They're married now. What should l do?"
This is how we are.
May l help you?
l'm Liz Gilbert. l'm wrting a magazine article on Bali.
l wanted to meet a med cine man.
Everyone sad l should meet Ketut Liyer. Am l in the right p ace?
Wait.
I mean, here l am wlth a ninth-generation medicine man...
...and what do l wanna ask him about?
Getting closer to God?
Saving the world's starving children?
Happy to see you. l am Ketut Liyer.
Nope. l wanna dlscuss my relationship.
You are a world traveler.
You will live a long time...
...have many friends, many experiences.
You will have two marriages. One long, one short.
Am l in the long one or the short one?
Can't tell.
Also you will lose all your money.
l think in next six to 10 months.
Don't worry. You will get it a back again.
And you will come back to Bali...
...and ve here for three or four months and teach me English.
l never had anybody to practice my English with.
And then...
...l will teach you everything know.
Wait.
l have this for you.
Keep grounded so it's like you have four egs.
That way, you can stay in th s world.
Also, no looking at world through your head.
Look through your heart instead.
That way, you will know God.
Which is why you came here, no?
See you later, all gator.
l proofread all of her manuscripts.
My wife is very, very beautiful, but she can't spell for anything.
Look at Uncle Stephen.
And Auntie Liz.
l'm counting the minutes for this to be over so l can get in my big girl pants.
You look fantastic. You just had a baby.
Oh, you're ying. l'm fat, l'm exhausted...
...l can't keep two thoughts. I feel like Liza Minnelli.
Stephen, can you hold Jack?
- l'm gonna ntroduce you to Walter. - Yeah.
Hey, dude, you wanna grab a beer or something?
My new book comes out in April. Thank you for asking.
- Great. - May.
May. May.
This is Andre. You two are Times'Most Notable nominees.
- So glad to finally meet you. - Nice to finally meet you.
l fed him nachos. ls that bad?
You look comfortable. What'd you feed him, chloroform?
- Give him to his dad. - l told you, nachos.
Know what? l'd be asleep too if had a dump like that.
- We'll give him to his mom. - Come here then.
- Wanna help me change his diaper? - Yes, l do.
Hey, how's the vintage car thing going?
Oh, no, no, no. l changed jobs. l'm a pastry chef now.
- You mean you're a baker. - Yeah.
You wanna get baked?
l know, l know.
lt's hard, isn't it?
Oh, no. This is so much fun.
Did you know the exact moment you wanted to have a baby?
l can't remember. but l've had the box since before l got married.
What box?
lt's giry and embarrassing, and you'll laugh at me if l tell you.
l will laugh at you, but you st have to tel me.
Come on.
Jnder the bed.
l've been filling it with baby things...
...wait ng unt Andy was ready to be a father.
So sweet.
Does this come in my size?
l have a box just like this, except it's filled with Natlonal Geographics...
...and The Times travel section.
All the places l wanna see before l die.
Liz, having a baby is like getting a tattoo on your face.
You kind of wanna be fully committed.
So my trip to Aruba next week, which s just a basic, you know...
...''where to sleep, swim and stuff your face'' piece....
l got a new bikini.
And it turns out, l have unlimited minibar access.
- You know what that means? - Jet lag?
You, me...
...macadam a nuts.
That was cute.
You know who l was ta king to at the party who was real y inspiring...
- ...was Tara's friend. - Brian.
Brian. Jnbelievable. He's a teacher, you know that?
He's a substitute teacher, isn't he?
Yeah. He was ta king about the budget outs that are happening now.
There's no money for anything.
There's no music classes, there's no arts classes.
They're volunteering their time to do all of this after school.
They're educating our kids, you know?
l think you'd make a great teacher, honey.
Thank you, but l was thinking more of ke...
...educat on. Getting my masters, going back to school. l don't know.
You know?
l-- You know....
- Going back to school. - l'm just think ng out loud.
I was getting the sinking feeling that Ketut's prophecy was coming true.
Was l in the shorter marriage?
We'd only bought this house a year ago.
Hadn't l wanted this?
l had actlvely particlpated in every moment of the creation...
...of this life.
So why didn't l see myself in any of it?
The only thing more lmpossible than staying...
...was leaving.
I dldn't wanna hurt anybody. l wanted to slip quietly out the back door...
...and not stop runnlng until l reached Greenland.
lnstead, l made a decislon.
To pray.
You know, like, to God.
And it was such a foreign concept to me, that l swear l almost began with:
" I'm a big fan of your work."
Hello, God?
Nice to finally meet you. l....
l am sorry l've never spoken directly to you before...
...but...
...l hope l've expressed my...
...ample gratitude for al the blessings you've given...
...to me in my life.
l'm in serous trouble.
l don't know what to do.
l need an answer.
Please, tell me what to do.
Oh, God, help me, please.
Tell me what to do and l'll do it.
Go back to bed, Liz.
l don't wanna go to Aruba.
l don't wanna be married.
You know, there's a whole divorce sect on downstairs.
- ''Pepper grinder.'' - She's having...
- ...a nervous breakdown. - This is what girls do.
- She's processing. - Why doesn't she get drunk or laid?
That's what l would do if you left me.
No, you wouldn't.
- No, l wouldn't. - She moved out, she filed for divorce.
They were together eight years. She's got no home.
''Legacy.''
Every word in ltalian is like a truffle. A magic trick.
Honey, l get it. lt's your life raft right now.
When Andy and l broke up for two weeks, l bought a loom.
A frigging loom. And he tried to start a microbrewery.
l don't know how you guys aren't sick of me now. l'm sick of me.
Are you kidding me? We love having you.
lt's k nd of like having a writer in residence.
But you are a writer. You should be writing something.
Maybe l could write about a woman who goes to ltaly to learn ltalian.
Call it Carbohydrates and Conjugations.
l'll start looking for a place.
- l'm fall ng in love with you. - l'm not who you think l am.
l'm just your fantasy.
No, that's bul shit. You're real.
Your scars, your talent.
The fact that l own a piece-of-crap bar...
...and you accept that that's all l'm gonna do.
Okay, this sucks.
- l second that. - Don't be rude.
l love your pain.
And l ove that when we're together, l can make it go away.
- Oh, he's good. - You're love...
- He's hot, there's a difference. - ...is like a hot panini.
And when l look into your eyes, l hear dolphins clapp ng.
l did not write that line.
Here's what he doesn't know yet.
l disappear into the person l love.
l am the permeable membrane. lf l love you, you can have it all.
My money, my time, my body...
...my dog, my dog's money.
l will assume your debts and project upon you...
...all sorts of nifty qualities you've never actually cultivated in yourself.
l will give you all this and more...
...until l am so exhausted and depleted...
...the only way l can recover...
... is by becoming nfatuated with someone e se.
- Elizabeth, hi. - Hi.
Oh, really?
How you doing?
Cheers.
- Thank you. - l lowe you an apology.
- For the walkouts. - Well, l'm not everyone's cup of tea.
l doubt that.
l, on the other hand, was shit.
- Athough l was try ng very hard. - ''Shit'' is a strong word.
Thank you.
You seem shorter in person than on the stage.
- Really? l hear that a lot. - Sorry.
lt's okay.
lt's unnerving when...
...a total stranger sees you more clearly than you see yourself.
That's what l mean by saying you're short.
Are you hearing do phins clapping right now?
l took a few liberties with your material.
l give you full permiss on to make fun of me. l know you're dying to.
You're far too charming to make fun of.
l'm still hearing them.
ls that your guru?
You're joking, but, yes, it is.
She's beautiful.
Yeah. A friend told me about her.
l was out of work and feel ng pretty desperate for something.
Not the last time l was out of work, the t me before that.
And l just had th s feeling like l was looking in all the wrong places.
Looking for what?
God.
She has an ashram in lndia. l'm dying to go, but...
...you know, you have to get, like, three stages of hepatitis shots...
...and my insurance always runs out.
l'll go when the time's right.
There's a gathering of her students every morning.
lf you want, l cou d take you sometime.
lf you're not unnerved by 100 crunchy people chanting in Sanskrit.
l need to be unnerved.
David. A yogi from Yonkers.
l didn't exactly fall in love with the guy.
What happened was I dove out of my marriage...
...and into David's arms...
...exactly the same way a cartoon circus performer...
...dives off a high platform and into a small cup of water...
...vanishing completely.
Your underwear, my queen.
He just folded my delicates.
Oh, my God, baby, you are in so much trouble.
Thirty-six?
My client s s mply not nterested in a divorce.
ls he serous?
ls he really representing himself?
One semester of law school right here, baby.
Great. Well, what would it take to nterest your client?
Okay, so here's the deal. You have screwed up my life...
...but what l wanna know is why couldn't you find yourself...
... in our marriage? Why d dn't you say what you were thinking?
- l did. You never l stened to me. - No. You never said:
''Hey, you know what? You suck. l'm deeply unhappy.''
You just took off. You never gave me a chance to address those problems.
That's not fair. That's just quitting. l took vows.
Till death. And take them seriously.
l be ieve this is just a phase and l'm wil ing to wait it out.
You are always wa ting, Stephen.
Waiting for me to come home, to wanna have kids...
...to make you dinner. l don't know why we can't accept...
...we don't wanna live in unhappiness anymore.
l accept the fact that l am occasionally unreliable...
...and often get s detracked, but l thought you iked that about me.
l thought it was okay that l had hopes and dreams.
Have a dream. Stephen, great, fine. Do that. Just pick one.
Okay, l pick one. l pick you.
l know this is awful.
But l bel eve with every molecu e of my body that you will find the person...
...that wants just what you want.
That w l g ve you what you want and what you deserve. l'm not her.
Well, you obviously know nothing about what l want.
My client would like to submit a song he wrote...
...that he believes is relevant to these proceedings. Goes something ike this:
Are you kidding?
Quitter, quitter, quitter!
How about l take the blame? l am the one who couldn't deal...
...with another weekend roaming some box-shaped superstore...
...buying appliances on credit...
...and pretending to be a couple that neither one of us ever knew how to be.
You wanted that toaster.
''You like faking it, fine. You're stellar. l'm the failure. l suck at faking it.''
- lt was not my finest hour. - So where do things stand now?
We're prepared to offer half of everything...
...and my client's ret rement accounts.
Take it all then. Everything.
He still said no.
- He hates me now. - He doesn't hate you.
His heart is broken.
l think he hates you.
l'm never letting you out of the basement.
Why don't we talk next week and we'll see where things stand?
- Okay. - These th ngs have a way...
...of working themselves out.
So why'd you become a vegetarian?
l saw some cows slaughtered one time.
Bare y touched your dinner.
He's 28.
This is hard for h m, isn't it? And you?
The meditations help.
Liz.
You remember a couple of years ago, when you threw yourself into...
...the renovation of your kitchen? You were consumed...
...with being the perfect wife and cook.
l was trying to make it work.
Well, l think chanting and meditation is the same thing...
... in a different costume.
Definitely give me that documentary.
I've been thinking about vegetarianism.
My triglycerides are through the roof.
Yeah. Thanks for everything.
Great to meet you.
- What? - Nothing. it's just...
...you know, you used to look like Stephen.
Now you kind of look like David.
You know?
What l meant was, you know how people start resembling their dogs?
Why would he say that, we ook l ke the same dog?
- He was joking. - Not funny.
Well, he had five Heinekens. He was bombed.
Well, not funny.
We don't look like the same dog.
lf anything, you're a collie and l'm a Tibetan mastiff.
Don't you wanna give me a chance to miss you?
lt beglns when the object of your affection...
...bestows upon you a heady hallucinogenic dose...
...of someth ng you've never even dared to admit you wanted...
...an emotiona speedba of thunderous love and excitement.
Soon you start craving that attention with the hungry obsession...
...of any junkie.
When it's withheld, you turn sick, crazy, not to mention resentful ...
...of the dealer who encouraged this addiction in the first place...
...but now refuses to pony up the good stuff.
Just frustrated, l'm concerned. l don't understand.
What don't you get?
What's going on? You don't ook me in the eye.
- You don't finish your-- - Nobody's asking you to make the bed!
- You don't have sex with me! - Sometimes l'm not in the mood!
Goddamn him, and he used to give t to you for free.
Next stage finds you skinny, shak ng in a corner...
...certain only that you'd se your soul...
...just to have that one thing one more time.
Well, then why don't we discuss it? Why don't we sort it?
- Why don't we act like adults? - Okay. Can have a little space?
- How about that? - Meanwhile...
...the object of your adoration is now repulsed by you.
- You don't always make me miserable. - There's a comfort.
l just-- Sometimes l need to come home...
...and have a little David time.
He looks at you like someone he's never met before.
- ls that okay? - Yeah. No, t's fine.
And not have to, like, you know, justify it.
The irony is you can hardly blame him.
l mean, check yourself out. You're a mess.
Unrecogn zable even to your own eyes.
You asked me to come here? Here l am.
And it turned into something else.
- Didn't it? - You are such a child.
- Right. l can't take this anymore. - Great. Perfect.
That's a great response to a conversation.
Goddamn it.
You have now reached infatuation's final destination.
The complete and merciless devaluation of self.
You wanna go away for a year?
Do you know what l felt when l woke up, Della?
Nothing. No passion, no spark, no faith, no heat. Abso utely nothing.
l've gotten past the point where l can be calling this a bad moment.
And it just terrifies me. Jesus, this is like worse than death to me...
...the idea that this s the person l'm gonna be from now on.
This happens to people.
They fall in love in their 20s, get married...
...do the granite countertop, white-picket fence in their 30s...
...and somewhere they realize, ''This is not for me.''
So they fail and they fall down, they hurt l ke hell, they straighten up...
...and march their asses to the shrink's office.
- They can't just check out. - l am not checking out.
l need to change.
You have a support system here, Liz.
You have friends and family who love you.
And do you feel my love for you? My support for you? No.
There's, l ke, nothing. l have no pulse.
- l am going to ltaly. - ltaly. Why ltaly?
- What did you have for lunch? - l don't know. A salad.
Exactly. l used to have this appet te forfood, for my life...
...and it is just gone.
I wanna go someplace where l can marvel at something.
Language, gelato, spaghetti, something.
- You're ta king ike a college kid. - l've been act ng like one.
Since l was 15, l've either been with a guy or breaking up with a guy.
l have not given myself two weeks of a breather...
...to just deal with, you know, myself.
What's going on with you and David?
What, did you fall out?
l don't know how to be here.
You wanna know how to be here? Stop constantly waiting for something.
l'm going to ltaly and then l'm going to David's guru's ashram in lndia...
...and l'm go ng to end the year in Bali.
That's what l'm gonna do.
That's harder to argue with. The beaches are nice. But why?
- Ketut told me l would. - Guy with no teeth.
When you're desperate...
...and some guy who, yes, looks a little like Yoda...
...hands you a prophecy, you have to respond.
- Do you need a Xanax? - Aways.
Okay, l'm just gonna say it. l'm gonna say it and be done with it.
What if it doesn't work ?
My whole life fits in a 12-foot-square box.
You know how many times l hear that in a day?
Most of them never come back for their whole life.
- Hello? - Liz.
Good news. Stephen just signed the divorce papers.
l'll probably be back in a week, penniless with dysentery.
You're my hero.
Hey.
lf you stay, we' l go out for lndian every night.
You never asked me to stay.
Go, go, go.
You know what's funny?
This is the first time in my life there's no one wait ng at home for me.
l don't even have a home to come back to.
Oh, God. You'll make friends.
You'll make friends with a backpack, of course.
lt'd be great to get away.
Andy and l were talking about getting a little villa in Florence for a month.
You know, and in 10 years, when Jack is older....
What?
You know why l was giving you such a hard time?
l love my job, my guy and my kid, but....
l wish l could go.
l love you and l'm proud of you.
Now go.
There is a wonderful old ltalian joke...
...about a poor man who goes to church every day...
...and prays before the statue of a great salnt, begging:
''Dear saint, please, please, please let me win the lottery.''
Flnally, the exasperated statue comes to life...
...and looks down at the begging man and says.:
''My son, please, please, please buy a ticket.''
So now l get the joke.
And l've got three tlckets.
You heat the water on the stove.
So if l want to bathe...?
You put the water in the tub.
Okay.
Yeah. t doesn't really seem ike enough water to bathe in.
Not enough.
Yes, it's enough.
Fill it up three, four, five times.
Everything that's mportant gets cleaned.
ls this safe? This...
...scaffolding? Scaffol--
lt holds up the ceiling.
Otherwise it will fall apart.
Everything falls apart, my dear.
The on y thing permanent in life is family.
You're not married.
No, dlvorzlata.
Why divorced?
We broke it.
You're more happy now?
l have one rule.
No strange men spending the night.
You American g rls when you come to ltaly...
...all you want s pasta...
...and sausage.
l'll take it.
Good. You chose well.
Cappuccino.
- lt's a zoo in here. - And my ltalian sucks.
- How long have you been here? - Two weeks. You?
Six weeks. You'll get better.
Two cappuccinos, please.
And warm the milk this time.
Yesterday it was too hot and burned my tongue.
- You like Napoleons? - Of course.
And two Napo eons, please.
Your lta ian is fantastic.
l have a wonderful tutor. l'll give you his number if you like.
- He's really good and he needs work. - Oh, great.
Are you Dutch? German?
Swedish. Even colder people, if you can mag ne.
- l'm Liz, by the way. - Sof.
You can say:
lt's past.
Too fast, but okay.
You can say:
Yeah.
What a beautiful word.
Come on, t's " let's cross over.'' lt's so ordinary.
No, it's the perfect combination of lta ian sounds.
lt's the wistful ''ah,'' the rolling trill, the soothing ''ess.''
- That's true. - l love it.
All right, let me teach you a word.
Therapist.
- Come on. - Good. You gotta learn humor.
- lt's not. - Come on. Cheers.
- Shall we continue Tuesday at 5? - Yes.
- With another bottle of the therapy? - Of course.
- You're doing very well, Liz. - Thank you.
And you must be very polite with yourself...
...when you earn something new.
Yes. Grazie, l agree.
But your English-- How are you even talk ng to me like this right now?
l think you're gonna teach me more than l teach you.
You have good ltalian. Very good.
All right.
l am a one.
I feel so guilty. l've been in Rome for three weeks...
...all l've done is earn a few ltal an words and eat.
You feel guilty because you're American.
You don't know how to enjoy yourself.
- l beg your pardon? - lt's true.
Americans know entertainment, but don't know p easure.
This is Luca Spaghetti, by the way, you know.
Your name is Luca Spaghetti?
Yes, that's what our family is called.
We invented it. l'm serious. Listen to me.
You want to know your problem? Americans.
You work too hard. You get burned out.
Then you come home and spend the whole weekend...
... in your pajamas in front of the TV.
That's not far off, actually.
But you don't know pleasure. You have to be told you've earned it.
You see a commercial that says, '' lt's Miller time ''...
...and you say, '' That's right. Now l will go to buy a six-pack.''
And drink the whole thing and wake up the next morning and you feel terrible.
But an ltalian doesn't need to be told.
He wa ks by a sign that says, '' you deserve a break today ''...
...and he says, '' Yeah, l know.
That's why l'm planning on taking a break at noon...
...to go over to your house and sleep with your wife.''
We call it "dolcee far nirentee."
lt means...
...the sweetness of doing nothing. We are masters of it.
He's right. He says...
...you can't earn ltal an like this.
You don't speak the language just with your mouth, speak it with your hands.
Like this?
Okay. ls yelling.
'THAT MEAL WAS EXCELLENT'
'SUCK lT'
All this gives me a stomachache.
'SCREW YOU'
- l think that's my neighbor Lorenzo. - Charming.
ANOTHER WAY TO SAY 'SCREW YOU'
So anyway, to start off l'd say....
Excuse me.
Come here.
For the table...
...a big platter of artichoke alla giudia...
...prosciutto with melon...
...and eggplant with ricotta affumicata.
Then spaghetti alla carbonara...
...pappardelle with ragu of rabbit...
...and linguini with clams.
Then tripe alla romana...
...and saltimbocca.
And two more liters of the vino sfuso from Genzano.
Thank you.
You did it. Yes.
Liz Gilbert, you are a Roman woman now.
No, only honorary.
That is a real Roman woman.
Yeah, with a lot of international friends.
That one, l'd bite.
Maybe you and Rome just have different words.
- Different words? - Yeah.
Yeah. lt's ike each city has a word, if you really think about it.
Like, what is the word for London?
- l would say ''stuffy.'' - I would agree with that.
- What's the word for Stockholm? - Are you kidding? ''Conform.''
And New York?
''Ambit on'' or ''soot.''
What's the word for Rome?
lt's kind of difficult to think about.
lt's classic.
''Sex.''
Of course.
So, what's your word, Liz? l'm curious. can't figure it out.
Well....
lt might be....
lt started as ''daughter.'' l was good at that. And then...
...''wife.'' Not so good.
Not so good.
My word's ''writer.''
Yeah, but that's what you do. That isn't who you are, no?
Maybe you're a woman in search of her word.
Hey, Sofi, it's Liz. Let's go to Naples. Maybe my word is "pizza.''
Listen, lady, l am only 7, but l can tell you're a complete moron...
...because l am from Naples.
l love this place, but Giovanni said to watch out.
His cousin got mugged here in a museum.
- Are you serious? - Watch out for the scooter. Yeah.
l'm in love. I'm having a relationship with my pizza.
You look like you're break ng up with the pizza. What's the matter?
l can't.
What do you mean, you can't? This is pizza in Napoli.
lt s your moral imperative to eat that pizza.
l want to, but l've gained, like, 10 pounds.
l mean, l've got this....
Right here. What's it called? What's the word?
A muffin top.
l have one too.
l unbuttoned my jeans five minutes ago just look ng at this.
Let me ask you a question.
ln all the years you've ever undressed in front of a gentleman....
- Hasn't been that many. - All right, well ...
...has he ever asked you to leave?
- Has he ever walked out? Left? - No.
Because he doesn't care.
He's in a room with a naked girl. He's won the lottery.
l'm so tired of saying no and then waking up in the morning...
...and recalling every single thing l ate the day before.
Counting every calorie so l know exactly...
...how much self-loathing to take into the shower.
l'm going for it.
l have no interest in being obese. l'm just through with the guit.
This s what l'm gonna do. l'm gonna finish this pizza...
...and then we're gonna go watch the soccer game.
And tomorrow we're gonna go on a little date...
...and buy ourselves some b gger jeans.
Giovanni likes a muffin.
Attagirl.
He's saying. '' For whom are you playing? ''
Per chi, for whom.
Pull , pull . l'm sucking it in.
Put some Swedish muscle into this.
You think this happened to Sophia Loren?
There it goes. Almost got it.
Go, go, go. You're not trying.
l've almost got it. l've almost got it. l did it.
Oh, that's beautiful. You should get it.
For whom?
For you, Liz. Just for you.
No, l'm happy just with my big lady pants.
Thanks for the day. And the leg room.
lt was fun.
We're gonna go for food. Wanna come?
No. No, l'm good.
The sweetness of doing nothing.
Please. Please get off the floor.
Will you please just...? Will you come up here?
What if we just acknowledge that we have a screwed-up re at onship...
...and we stick it out anyway?
We accept that we fight a ot...
...and we hardly have sex anymore...
...but that we don't wanna live without each other.
And that way we can spend our lives together...
...miserable...
...but happy not to be apart.
Dear Davld.:
We haven't had any communlcation in a whlle...
...and it's given me time l needed to think.
Remember when you said we should Iive with each other and be unhappy...
...so we could be happy?
Consider it a testimony to how much l love you...
...that l spent so long pouring myself into that offer...
...trylng to make lt work.
But a friend took me to the most amazlng place the other day.
It's called the Augusteum.
Octavian Augustus bullt it to house his remains.
When the barbarlans came, they trashed it along with everything else.
The great Augustus, Rome's first true great emperor...
...how could he have imagined that Rome...
...the whole world, as far as he was concerned, would be ln rulns?
During the Dark Ages, someone came in here and stole the emperor's ashes.
In the 12th century, it became a fortress...
...then a bullring.
They stored fireworks in here after that.
Nowadays, it's a bathroom for the homeless...
...so you better watch your step going down.
lt's one of the quietest and loneliest places in Rome.
The city has grown up around it over centuries.
lt feels like a precious wound...
...like a heartbreak you won't let go of because it hurts too good.
l like it messy.
We all want things to stay the same, David.
l guess the guy before me must've been some angel, huh?
Settle for living in misery...
...because we're afraid of change, of things crumbling to ruins.
Then l looked around in this place, at the chaos it's endured...
...the way lt's been adapted, burned, pillaged...
...then found a way to bulld itself back up again, and l was reassured.
Maybe my life hasn't been so chaotic. lt's just the world that is...
...and the only real trap is getting attached to any of it.
Ruin is a gift.
Ruin is the road to transformation.
Hey.
You ready?
Yeah.
Even in thls eternal city, the Augusteum showed me...
...that we must always be prepared for endless waves of transformation.
Both of us deserve better than staying together...
...because we're afraid we'll be destroyed if we don't.
My mother's stuffing. Stale bread, walnuts, got those.
Will you get me some more potatoes?
Oh, l'm always getting you more potatoes.
lt's my dream, a real American Thanksgiving.
The perfect way to say goodbye to our Liz.
So...
- ...you leave th s week, huh? - Yes.
And where are you going? lran?
lndia.
Liz is making us an American meal tonight.
- You are not married, yeah? - No.
What's wrong with yourfriend, is she a lesbian?
No, Mama, she's not a lesbian. And she understands ltalian.
How's she going to find another husband and start a family...
...when she's on the other side of the world?
lf a man said, ''l'm going to trave for a year and meet wonderful people....''
But she's not a man.
lt's more diff cult for a woman to feel that she has the right to make choices.
- lt takes a lot of courage. - Exactly.
You call it courage, l call t stupid ty.
Mama, enough.
l know a number of people who would agree with you.
Luca?
What time will the turkey be ready?
The turkey....
l haven't defrosted it yet.
Oh, shit.
You only had one thing to do and you screwed it up.
l was distracted! lt can happen!
Too much good food!
Too many women!
And l forgot!
Now, before we eat, everyone...
...it is Thanksgiving, so let us give thanks.
- Yeah. Come on, join hands. - Okay.
So we just say what we....
What we thank God for ton ght. Sofi, why don't you start?
l am grateful for you, Liz...
...for he ping me appreciate life...
...with all that comes with it...
...muffin tops and bad times.
And for Giovanni...
...for making me feel...
...loved and secure.
And Giulio.
Me, I'm grateful for my beautiful family.
My two litt e daughters and my wife.
l thank God and the Holy Virgin...
...for this very, very special day.
And for this beautiful family...
...that today is so much bigger.
Very much bigger.
l thank you all for this new custom of celebration.
And Liz's stuffing...
...and God...
...for my sexiness.
And you, Ruffina?
l thank God for...
...my sexiness.
Go ahead. Giovanni.
l thank God for...
...fear...
...because for the first time...
...l'm afra d the person next to me...
...will be the one who wants to leave.
Liz?
Well, this all makes me so grateful.
Seeing all you happy people...
...who know how to love each other and take care of each other.
l look at the amazing women l've met who l admire so much...
...and the great men, taking care of their women...
...and putting their children to bed.
l just feel happy...
...to see it and to be part of it.
l'm the luckiest girl in the world.
lt's a good breakfast, huh?
l will take this to your room.
lt has already started.
- l fell asleep. - Yeah. Pity.
Probably the only person in the world who ever fell asleep during meditation.
- This leads to the meditation garden. - ls the guru here?
- She's always here. - l know, but is she ''here'' here?
She's at her ashram in New York.
But l came from New York to see her here.
Sounds ike one of her l ttle tricks.
The meditation cave.
lt's open 24/7 and it's air-conditioned.
Corella?
- This is Liz Gilbert. - Hi. Nice to meet you.
- Where did you get that button? - They sell them in the bookstore.
That is exact y what l need. l need something like that. l don't listen.
l never have. My mom used to call me Little Miss Chatty Cathy...
...because l just ramble. l am a rambler.
l am rambling now. l'm sorry.
Silence is a wonderful spiritual practice...
...but if Corella could speak, she'd tell you it's more challenging than it looks.
- Wait till you've been here for a while. - Okay.
Thank you, Corella. l'll be sure to tell her.
- What did she say? - No idea.
Change into your work clothes. l'll take you to your seva.
lt's a Hindu word for ''selfless devotional work.''
- lt's required of everyone who stays. - Okay. Thank you.
ls there anything in this world skinnier than an lnd an teenage boy?
- l'm Tulsi. - Liz.
Where are you from?
The next town. My parents have been devotees of the guru for many years.
We spend a lot of time here.
But...
...they are trying to marry me off. That's the custom.
- That's not what you want? - No way. lt sucks.
l want to study psychology, just as our guru did when she attended college.
l prefer to be with God than boys my age.
No one in my family understands my coming all the way to India.
Do you ever look at them and wonder, ''What am l doing in this fam y?''
You have no idea.
The Guru Gita is an ancient text 182 verses long.
ln it, the goddess Parvati is asking Shiva, or God...
...for the secrets of fulfillment.
lt's said to have transform ng qualities.
l wou d just like to take a risk here and say....
Me and Guru Gita, we just do not get along.
- What is it you have trouble with? - Everything.
lt's long, it's tedious, l can't keep up...
...and l get these insane anxieties about everything in my life...
...and l've lost my place.
Sounds like it has a positive effect...
...if you're having such strong emotions and physical reactions.
You keep trying.
lt is most commendable that you ended your marriage.
You seem like such a happy, free person now.
l think my ex-husband would describe me as selfish.
You mustn't be angry with yourself or disappointed.
You don't have to make children or be married to have a family.
Oh, man. They got mosquitoes here big enough...
...to stand flat-footed and screw a chicken.
- l love you. - Liz, have you met...
- ...Richard from Texas? - Hello, Richard from Texas.
- Nice to meet you, Groceres. - Groceries?
Yeah. Yeah, l heard you eating before l saw you.
l never seen anybody eat so much at one time.
You sure do enjoy your groceres.
You know, it's been a rough day, and if no one takes it personally...
...l'm going to take my large meal someplace else to eat it in silence.
Oh, no, stay. l'm done.
Looked like you were working through some...
...pretty rough stuff this morning.
Stuff with your ex-husband?
l got an ex-wife.
She thinks l changed my name to '' Motherfucker.''
l--
l just spent some time in Rome and l came here feeling so great.
And now here l am, at the source...
...and l feel more d sconnected than ever.
Why'd you come here?
l just want some peace.
Peace?
You wanna get to the castle, Groceries...
...you got to swim the moat.
Here, you can finish that. l know you can.
Okay.
Simply empty your mlnd.
Breathe.
What am l golng to do when this year is over?
Where am I golng to live?
Well, maybe Chicago.
Oh, my God. I could bulld a meditatlon room--
No. Stop thlnking. Why ls this so hard?
Screw you, Corella. How the hell does she do this?
She looks like frigging Mother Teresa.
Oh, my God, kill me.
- Who's in the moat today? - Shut up.
Sounds like you wrestled some big-ass crocs.
You know what? lf you're so goddamn smart, what are you doing here?
lf you're here, it makes you smart already.
- Do you wanna talk about what--? - No, not to you. Thank you.
l'm the only one here. You're gonna talk about it sooner or later.
l cannot focus in there.
All I think about s my meditation room and how to decorate.
Are you sh tting me?
Are you kidding me?
The meditat on room is within, Groceries. Decorate that.
Do you always talk in bumper sticker?
l do, and here's another one.
You have to earn to select your thoughts the way you select...
...your clothes every day. That's a power you can cultivate.
You wanna come here and control your l fe so bad, work on the m nd.
That's the only thing you should control.
lf you can't master your thoughts, you're in trouble.
l am trying.
Yeah, hello, that's the damn problem. Stop trying. Surrender.
Go out into the garden and just sit there and still your mind...
...and you watch what happens.
Why don't you just let it be?
Has anyone ever told you you look ke James Taylor?
Every day.
God, he really does.
My prayers were always the same.
''Please, God, please. Open my heart, send me a sign...
...because we both know l ain't the sharpest tool in the shed.''
Look at you, floating through Calcutta.
Looks like you had a great meditation.
l probably have malaria now.
The bites will go away.
Eventually everything goes away.
You ever done that, Groceries? Begged for a sign?
That sounds vaguely familiar.
Be careful what you w sh for. You just might get it.
What s your prob em?
Did you fall in love with the wrong woman or something?
Excuse me, Miss Gilbert.
You have a phone call.
How's the Guru Gita treating you?
Fine. You'd like her.
Did you get my e-mail?
Yeah. l'm sorry l didn't call sooner.
Why didn't you?
Because if l didn't respond...
...we were still hav ng a conversation. l was still in it.
l'm sorry. We were just bad timing.
l just wanted things to be easy. We were good when things were easy.
lt's not that l need ''easy'' right now. l just can't have ''so hard.''
Well, you sound good.
Stronger.
So do you.
Yeah, wel , l'm an actor, Liz.
l got a part.
It's off-Broadway, but lt's pretty cool.
l'm happy for you.
All right.
Well, l' l see you around, kid.
Check you out.
l have never seen you so focused.
You need a Thums Up.
No, no. No lips on the bottle.
First rule in lnd a s never touch anything but yourself.
Oh, good God. That's, like, five times sweeter than Coke.
l think it might have methamphetamines in it.
We can only hope.
l know you feel awful.
But your fe's changing.
That's not a bad thing.
And you're in the perfect place for it. Surrounded by grace.
l thought l was over him, but...
...l love him.
Big deal.
- So you fell in love with someone. - l really miss him.
So miss him.
Send him some light and love every time you think of him, then drop it.
You know, if you could clear out a l that space in your mind...
...that you're using to obsess over this guy...
...and your failed marriage, you'd have a vacuum with a doorway.
And you know what the universe would do with that doorway?
Rush in. God would rush in .
Fill you with more love than you ever dreamed of. Man.
Groceries.
l think you have the capacity someday to ove the whole world.
What do they sell over there?
Ganesh. Remover of obstacles.
l'm gonna need a lot of these.
Speaking of elephants, there's a rogue elephant on the loose in the area.
He was with carnival.
They say he is very, very unpredictab e and vo at e.
That just makes h m more attractive to her.
How'd you get to be so smart? l'll bet t was the hard way.
Don't change the subject.
Well, when is this griev ng phase going to pass?
You want a day on a calendar you can circle?
- Can you give me one? - No. You got to do the work.
Meditate and go to seva...
...and most important, get your butt down to the Geet every morning...
...and something'l change.
l just cannot get through the Guru Gita. l can't find that feeling of devotion.
Okay. Devotion's love. Pick somebody or something you wanna devote it to.
lt doesn't have to be the guru. lt's all the same to her.
This is about you.
Can l te l you something, Groceries? You got some serious control issues.
ls it obvious?
All right, Richard, get out from inside my head now.
Shut the door.
- That's him? - That's him.
- He's hideous. - No, he's not. He's cute.
He's a Sagittarius.
He studies computer programming in Delhi.
He has very good grades.
And h s family s very, very wealthy.
He will be very conce ted and dictatoral.
My life is over at 17.
Tuls .