On a full moon night
On the roof of the Forbidden City
A sword from the west
Flying fairy
You Fa Moon-lau and me
Luk Siu Fung
would be so glad to watch
the duel of 2 great swordsmen
Yes
Sai Mun Tsui-suet and
Yip Koo-shing`s swords
haven`t been shown yet, but we can smell it
This sword is made by finest steel ,
its length is 3 feet 3 inches, weight 6 catties and 4 taels
This sword is very sharp
lts length is 3 feet 7 inches, weight 7 catties & 1 3 taels
Sai Mun Tsui-suet,
do you have confidence to face my stance?
Mr. Yip, l`m ready
Fly. . .
Flying . . .
Fa. . .
Fairy!
Who are you?
How dare you fight on the roof of the Emperor`s house?
Tell me your name
l`m Yip Koo-shing , Master of the White Cloud Castle
Yip Koo-ching?
And . . .
l`m a cool swordsman , Sai Mun Tsui-suet
And me, Fa Moon-lau , the Blind Superman
And me, a lovely hero with 4 eye-brows
Luk Siu-fung !
What?
Luk Siu-fung?
Lovely hero?
You know you`re bothering 2 swordsmen to have their duel?
Who are you?
Secret Agent Ling Ling Fat
l`m responsible to protect His Majesty
and his properties
Listen ,
you old folks!
You are charged of. . .
. . .breach of close
You`re charged of illegal gathering , too
And haven`t behaved yourselves in public area
Hey, don`t call us old folks!
Great swordsmen may not always be handsome
Handsome heroes are just
the expectations of ordinary people
Yes
Heroes will have bald head too
But not as ugly as your are!
Please give us a chance!
This is a precious secret scroll of Kung-fu
Take it
Uncuff us at once
You want to exchange your freedam with such poor book?
Stop dreaming
Haven`t you heard of my name?
Of course not! You`re not that famous
Get lost
Young man , better give us face
l`m Sai . . .
l don`t care
l won`t give you face, anyway
Bastard ! You`d respect the blind
Since you`re blind , don`t climb up!
Or, you`ll fall to death , old man
You`ve gone too far!
Once l attack with my Wonder Fingers. . .
Wonder Finger? l have one too
All of you , on the floor, hands on your heads,
you`re now under arrest
l think you`ll be put to jail not less than 1 0 years
l won`t let you go this time
What a shame!
Pals,
let`s forget this ignorant guy
Let`s choose another day for the fight
So powerful !
Members of the Secret Agent
Ling Ling Kung
Ling Ling Hei
Ling Ling Fat
Ling Ling Choi
We`ll be your Majesty`s loyal servants forever
lron Clothe!
lt breaks
Yes. . .
Great!
Unbreakable Armor
Five Shapes Fists
Dragon
Snake
Tiger
Panther
Crane
Bravo!
What`s up?
These 2 stones are found in the very North
There are 2 sides, with amazing power
lf positive side face the positive side, they`ll reject each other
They can`t stick together
lf the positve side faces the negative side,
they`ll stick together
Very amazing !
lt`s a great discovery
l`d like to devote it to you
What`s the use of it?
Girls,
you need not sway the fan so hardly from now on
That two aren`t attractive,
how about this?
Put these 2 leaves together,
and move it with great speed
So a strong wind . . .
. . .will be created
You said ,
if the weather is hot,
this new product would be wonderful !
ls Your Majesty interested in being
a sole agent of my product?
Your Majesty,
l`ve not given my subordinates good guidance
l`d be blamed !
Ling Ling Fat, behave yourself
Yes
l`ve got a way to defeat your lron Clothe
Fat-yan
l`m coming
l`ve discovered that,
if l put carbon , Nitre and sulphur in a small space,
say, inside one`s mouth
And , one tiny steel ball is put in
Then explode it
When an explosion is happened inside,
solid becomes gas form ,
and the expansion create great power
So the steel ball will be pushed out
The power is so great that it can break stone and metal
lron clothe will become a mess
What did you say?
Great! Come here
Fat-yan , are you ready?
The only demerit of this weapon is. . .
High temperature will be caused
So Fat-yan`s mouth must be under series of special training
say, eat hot dumplings
as training step no. one
or, drink very hot soup
Now, Fat-yan`s mouth can stand temperature of 1 00° C
l tell you ,
he can eat hot shark-fin soup faster than anyone else,
so, he can eat much more than us
But. . .
Kids should not learn this
Make it or not?
lt`s almost successful
l feel that my mouth has had gone
No, it becomes bigger only
How big is it?
Very big , don`t worry
lt`s almost done!
Give me some time to amend it,
l think l can . . .
Shut up!
Please don`t get angry
Fat, what are you doing?
l am asking you , what are you doing?
Just some inventions
Say! What`re you doing?
Tell us now
What the hell are you doing?
What`re you doing? Say!
l just want to make new inventions
Come up! l want you to come up and tell me
Hurry up. . .
l`m coming soon
lf your post wasn`t herited ,
l would have fired you !
Now, get lost!
l let you cover yourself. . .
. . .by acting as a doctor
But he chose to be a gynecologist!
What a shame!
You seldom practise Kung-fu
l don`t know what you`re doing at all
He didn`t come for a meeting last night
Where were you last night?
l caught thieves on the roof top
What thieves?
l caught Yip Koo-shing ,
Sai Mun Tsui-suet and Luk Siu-fung
Although they escaped ,
l got a secret scroll of Kung-fu instead
What`s that?
A stance named ``Flying Fairy``
Have you practised?
Yes, l did a bit
Show me now
This is called ``Flying Fairy``
He is fooling you , Your Majesty
Get down? Now!
Get down
l`m coming . . .
Hurry up. . .
Right away
Coming . . .
Come down !
Coming . . .
l tell you
l don`t want to see you again
Get lost!
Secret agent. . .
Great!
Doctor, l . . .
Let me give you some medicine?
Wait,
let me tell you my symptoms first
You`d take medicine anyway,
right?
Take the medicine
Pay now
Show her to the door
Doctor, l`ve come a long way here
Please listen to me first
Come on , please!
l`ll let you say anything you like. . .
on your way home
Next
Doctor, l`m sick
Let me give you some medicine
My hands and legs are cold , l feel dizzy too
Sometimes when l stand up after a squat,
l`ll feel dizzy
Well , no medicine is needed
Go home and prepare for your funeral
Are you kidding me? lsn`t it. . .
because of woman`s period?
Or hormone changed after delivery?
What make you think so?
Well ,
you can tell it from the color of tongue
Well , how to cure you then?
lt`s simple
Use 1 2 tael of Tin Nam Sing ,0. 1 5 tael of Lily,
0.2 tael of To Chow Sing , 0.08 tael of Si Kwan Chi ,
1 tael of Ha Fu Tsoi
Plus winter flower, cook with light fire
Here they are, boil with 8 bowls of water
Drink it, then you`ll recover soon
Thank you , doctor
Show doctor to the door
Ne. . .Next?
Doctor, my heart aches!
Let me give you some medicine
My husband has a concubine
He always beats me up!
l`ve suffered enough !
Although a rude man brings extra excitement
l couldn`t stand any more!
Doctor, are you rude?
lt depends
Sometimes, l can be rude
Alright, my husband fools around , l want to have a secret affair too
Come on !
Let me see how rude are you !
Honey!
What`s the matter, honey?
This lady. . .
she wants my help
You know, l am a kind-hearted doctor
She comes a long way here, just give her a hand
Miss,
are you tired?
Do you want some noodle?
l am fine!
Honey, am l a good husband?
l have arrived , that`s why you behaved !
lf l am not present, will you accept the temptation?
l swear!
l will !
You bastard !
Once again , will you take the temptation !
Tell me
Yes
Great
l am not afraid of it! You nuts!
l`ll not play with you if you bite!
Alright
l surrender! l surrender!
Hands off!
No! Or you will jump over!
l won`t! l surrender!
My hand breaks! Honey, hands off me please
lt really breaks!
Sorry, hubby
You woman !
You are really good at Kung-fu
Master is. . .
. . .so pleased !
l won`t feel unhappy
What?
Do you know what`s in my mind?
l have present for you
Remember you cut the onion few days ago,
you chopped and chopped . . .
At last, you cut your finger
Now, l will give you this hand
So, you can use your hand to catch this hand
And use this hand to hold the onion
Even you cut your hand , it`ll be a fake hand
Your own hand won`t be hurt!
How can you make it?
Thank you , hubby!
Alright
Honey!
Alright
Honey!
You said , it`s tough to clean the floor
Yes
Take this pair of shoes
After wearing it, your legs will help you a lot
See, your legs will become groom and dust pan
And you can clean the floor while you are walking
Open your mouth
Put all the rubbish inside your mouth
No!
Wait
How do you feel?
l think you are a great inventor
What else?
And . . .
l love you very much !
So. . .
Let`s sleep
But l want to try this!
No, try this
lt`s rat!
This time, l`ll use rat`s movement to release power
And it will push the wheel to increase the power,
it`s powerful enough to move this!
lt can support weight over 200 catties
How about the steam machine we used last time?
lt`s good , but when it is dried ,
it will stop at once
lsn`t this better?
You are right
But, something is missing
And this is the greatest breakthrough l`ve ever made
Now, we can choose different grade of speed
for different needs
Look!
What does that ``Rear`` mean?
That`s backward !
Let me try
No!
Does it work?
Sure,
l cook with this super turning shovel
Not even a drop of oil can dirty me
Sure,
but l mean the air system machine!
That machine?
Show me once
lt works,
this is effective
You can take this as practice
Yeah , it`s good to health
Hubby
Honey
Hubby
Honey
Hubby
l`ll let you play
Great
The one who is like a ghost has arrived
What`s wrong with you?
Doctor. . .
Just between you and me!
lt`s enough for you to disguise as woman
lt`s not necessary for you to talk like a woman !
Being a member of the Forbidden City Cops,
l should try my very best to cover my identity
Better be careful
Doctor. . .
Am l pregnant?
Yes, eat this for abortion
What else do you want to say?
Fat-yan said . . .
Don`t talk like a woman
Fat-yan said . . .
Lie down , don`t let me see your face
Fat-yan said . . .
An important mission is for you , go back to the Headquarters
Better say earlier!
Fat, be smart
This important mission is counted on you
We`ve had banquets in the headquarters in these nights
if you can`t clean all the dishes tonight,
you will be put to jail
Here comes His Majesty
l`ve got a message that, inside the territory of Gum Kingdom ,
Something mysterious happened last month , that is
a creature called ``Flying Fairy`` fell down from heaven
Thus, they called meeting for all famous doctors in our country
ln order to dissect the Flying Fairy
Dissect Flying Fairy?
Under the great leadership of Your Majesty,
how come such ridiculous thing happens?
l am sure this is the trick of the cheaters
Do you still want to go?
Only the fool will be cheated !
l do want to take a look
You know it is ridiculous,
but Your Majesty still want to face it,
you are so brave, so courageous!
Only under the leadership of. . .
. . .such brave and smart emperor,
our country will be prosperous and stable
Long life to Your Majesty
The people of Gum Kingdom are always cunning , it may be a trap
lf you go, it may be dangerous
Forget it
lf you don`t finish washing these, you`ll be more dangerous
But it`s my duty to remind Your Majesty
Long life to Your Majesty
Bravo
Kung Hei Choi , you`ll protect me
we will set out tomorrow
Yes
Long life Your Majesty
Fat, cut the crap,
His Majesty doesn`t want to hear your voice
lf you say anything nonsense, your head will be chopped off
Wash the dishes. . .
Thank God , you are saved !
You wash my dishes
There must be conspiracy!
China is stable and prosperous
The beautiful women are specially beautiful
The handsome men are specially handsome
l hope that our flag of Gum Sect,
will be found on their soil
The Chinese soldiers are poor in health
The dissection of Flying Fairy is. . .
. . .to gather the Chinese doctors,
then , we will launch an attack to the Chinese troops
Since they have no doctors,
our troops can march from the North to South with ease
lt`ll be a piece of cake for us. . .
. . .to conquer China
You bastard ,
you look like a dummy,
especially when you smile!
l don`t know why you are so dummy looking !
Stop it!
l`m like a dummy whenever l see you
When l see daddy, l seem to be more foolish !
Don`t you like my look?
Your dad ruined . . .
. . .his face,
because of practising ``No Face`s Stance``!
A 2
l four
Got it?
Bingo
D 4 and 7
H 2 5
Got it?
Two Six
Try Two Five again
Two Five
Go back to 2 6
2 and 6
Got it?
Yes
Where do you feel itchy?
C 1 3 4 6 8 plus D 1
And , A 2 , E 4
Got it?
You are so stupid ! You won`t make it like this!
l am stupid , that`s why you look smart
Please don`t say l am smart
But your inventions are really wonderful
Who said so?
l said it
What`s your name?
Lau
Who are you?
l am your wife
Shit!
Come on , don`t scold me
You scolded me first
You are the only one who praises me,
but what`s the use of it?
l don`t care!
l think you are really great
You are great, that`s why l praise you !
Don`t you understand my words?
What do you want to say?
Don`t you know it?
l have had a difficult job
But you will never know it
Yes
l don`t know how hard your job is
But l believe that you are doing something good
Just scold whoever offended you
But never blame me as scapegoat
Since you are familiar with me
That`s why l should be blamed?
l tell you !
Yes
So, you . . .
You can blame me instead?
So what?
Why not leave home?
How do you know l am hiding under the table?
You always hide under the table
That`s why l know. . .
. . .you must be hiding under the table
Please use your brain to think!
Think a new place to hide!
So, l will have new excitement
lf l don`t hide under the table,
l am afraid you can`t find me
l can`t stand it any more
Please don`t!
l beg you !
Honey, please don`t do it again
Thank you
l am a woman only,
but you always scold me,
l am afraid l can`t tolerate it any more
lf you can`t tolerate it, just leave me
l am going to bath
l ask you to leave me alone!
Are you hungry?
l will do you some noodle
Sorry, it`s my fault
l lose my mind
Forget it
But why do you lose your temper?
There is an important medical meeting held in Gum Kingdom
But l am not qualified to join it
Who said so?
l said , you are qualified
l don`t mind others disqualifying me
According to what you said ,
l can go now!
What`s the matter?
Some woodmen appear in such remote place,
be careful of trick!
Who are you?
We`re woodmen
Don`t block my way
l am the Emperor
Get lost!
Don`t disclose our identities on the way
l don`t want others to know. . .
. . .l am the Emperor
Got it?
Yes, Your Majesty
Let`s go
The leading guy is having long and soft breath
He must be a Kung-fu master who is good at Air Stance
The one with whip is having stable steps
He must be a great Kung-fu fighter
And the one, with strong arms
He must be a great Kung-fu fighter too
l think. . .
. . .they must be the famous Forbidden City Cops
lron Clothe, Unbreakable Armor and Five Shapes Fists
3 Forbidden City Cops are all here,
the one inside the sedan chair must be the emperor
We do want to arrest some stupid doctors
God knows, here comes a king !
How lucky are we to have. . .
. . .such good chance!
So what?
Protect me
This is for you
Have it yourself
Come on
Boss, three cents please
Thank you
lt`s hot!
So powerful !
Great!
lt`s great
So disgusting !
The participants can go into the hall now
Honey,
the meeting is going to start
Let`s go
l can`t miss this chance!
First, cut the belly
Tear its skin
Pull the intestines out
Then ,
its shit spitted out. . .
So exciting !
Honey,
there are new clothes for sale,
l am going to buy some
How to meet you later?
After the meeting ,
just go there to look for me
Alright
Don`t wander off
lnvitation card?
lnvitation card
This kind of invitation card
Please let me go, l am a doctor too
Are you a doctor?
Yes, l am a famous doctor
Alright, go in
Thank you , buddy
He doesn`t know he is dying !
What?
Doctor
Doctor. . .
l`ve discovered that,
l can make a medicine. . .
. . .with plolycodonis and honey
This liquor is best for chain smokers
lt cures sore throat
You will get rich !
l`ve discovered a new kind of plant
After eating it,
you will laugh and cry,
the natives call this grass
You will get rich too
You can tell it`s drug which harm people
Better keep it yourself
Don`t take too much !
You are right
Do you have any now?
Give me some
Later. . .
Thank you
This doctor. . . l haven`t seen you before
Your hat is so interesting !
Where do you work?
l am a gynecologist in the capital
To treat women?
You are rich !
Ladies and gentlemen
How are you
Welcome here to watch . . .
. . .the dissection of the Flying Fairy
This is a very precious chance
Now, this is solely shown to you
Where is His Majesty?
ln order to let you see clearly
ln five consecutive nights,
we will repeat, repeat and repeat. . .
to show you the process of the dissection
To let you . . .
. . .see it clearly
And , we have invited the farmers. . .
. . .who discovered it to this meeting
Let me now interview. . .
someone who witnessed . . .
. . .the discovery of the fairy first,
that`s a dog
lts eye is so big
Will it be clearer?
Where is its wing? How can it fly then?
lt`s really weird !
Kidding ! lt is small or less the same as me
Right, as ugly as you
Move, move now
Why not. . .
Give her some medicine?
Do you know dissection?
l know
Take this cutter and start working
l won`t give it a damn
But, may l use this?
Don`t move
Do you know how to dissect?
Cut from the throat, let the blood drain out first
l know it already
Come on
ln fact, l am not a doctor
l am a butcher
You coward , you needn`t find excuse
Let me do it
Have you fixed yet?
Good question , l`ve just fixed it
Wait
What`s up?
His Majesty!
l know it`s you !
Who chopped me?
Someone chopped you?
That`s him !
But that is his sword
You bastard !
l want to chop you twice
What`s wrong?
Why do you hold the sword?
Stay calm
Yes! There is conspiracy!
Conspiracy?
Your Majesty
l , Ling Ling Fat will protect you
My sword is sucked away, so powerful
Come on , one for each one
Wait
Don`t despise us
We earn our living by holding swords too
Don`t get angry, drink some water first
All dead !
What kind of monster is it?
Try my Lo Chiu`s Sword Stance
l wanna kill you !
This is my sword !
Let`s attack from both sides
So great!
Stop!
Are you kidding?
Why do you always beat me?
Boss
Your feet betrayed you
Don`t you think l am a fool?
Hurry. . .
Watch me!
l know, same sex will reject each other
Fat, how are you?
Fine!
This magnet is really great
Shit!
Different sex attracts each other
Are you kidding?
Fat, you are really something
Thank you , Your Majesty, we`d better leave
Let`s go!
Leave now
Honey
Your wife has come too
lntroduce her to me
Go back first, here is so dangerous
Why there is one living?
ls there any accident happened to my son?
Where is my wife!
Search ! Many people are lying on the floor!
Cut the crap, kill him
No matter where you are hidding , you have to be killed
Kill him
What the hell is it?
Kidding?
Hubby
Same costume! Why?
Honey
Hubby
Where have you been?
l met a friend who lives in the next village,
There is a crazy sale nearby
so l went for shopping with her
What are you doing here?
l am . . .looking for you
ls there a fire?
We have had barbecue here
Barbecue?
Yes, roast chicken wings
Why do they lie on the floor?
They are full , it`s nice to have a rest
What`s wrong with you?
You ate with violence, didn`t you?
What the hell is it?
All people fought for one chicken wing !
l fought with all my might, that`s the result
Don`t you think l am nuts?
You . . .
Honey
You . . .
Where do you get this?
This?
lf you like it, just take it
l don`t mean it,
and l don`t want to take your advantage
lf l want it,
l`ll ask my husband to buy me one
He is damn rich
l want to tell you that,
this doesn`t match you
The color is no good
You have a big belly,
this kind of clothes doesn`t fit you
We may have a look in the shops of the nearby village
Let`s go, let`s have a look
My wife
She has fashion sense
Yes, she is nice
Brother Fat
Hubby,
you have laughed since you are back
What make you feel so happy?
This morning , l saw a fat woman fall into water ditch
A fat woman fell into water ditch? What is so funny?
Fat woman !
Water ditch !
Honey
ln all these years. . .
Listen to me
Go ahead
We have had poor living
Don`t you mind it?
lt depends on you
lf you don`t mind eating the food l cooked ,
l don`t mind too
ln all these years,
other than . . .
. . .great inventions,
l haven`t sent anything , say diamond to you
Why don`t you complain against me?
Sure. l have complaints
That super groom
l have to clean the floor with two legs
My hands are free
So, l have to clean the window with one hand ,
another hand to wash clothes
lt`s so troublesome!
You`ve discovered that!
Yeah . . .
And your air system
What`s wrong?
l don`t want to waste time to complain ,
it drives me crazy
Sure it will
What diamond have you hidden?
Take it out now
Honey
How are you?
Did you rob?
No, l didn`t
l cured a man who is damn rich
He paid much money as medical fee
That`s why l bought it to you
Honey!
Don`t come over, forget about me
Are you alright?
l am too happy,
l can`t control myself
So pretty
l love you , honey
l love you too
Forever
Fat, l heard that
in the biggest prostitute in town ,
there is a new girl Gum Tso who came from Gum Kingdom
Her name is so beautiful !
lt fancies me!
Go and check her background
lf she is OK, take her to me
Are you kidding , Your Majesty?
How can you let me carry such nice mission?
You are the fellow l trust most, you know?
And , everyone knows you are a good husband
You won`t take my woman
So, you are the appropriate one to take this job
May l be frank,
Your Majesty, you have many concubines
Why do you still want an affair?
You . . .
The beauties have arrived
Now, you understand?
Sure!
Your Majesty, please tolerate
l . . .
l will fix it as soon as possible
Get lost
Take enough money if you want to join our club
Damn it, l`ve fooled around for years
l haven`t experienced such embarrassing moment
Let`s ask someone to mess up
Shut up
Damn it!
l am the procuress
Granny, do you want to sell your daughter?
Let me take a look at her first
She is beautiful
Look
So?
l want to beat someone up
Can l slap her heavily?
Don`t be so mean ,
you have to give. . .
. . .others face anyway
You want to beat me,
l do want to hit you hardly with rod too
Damn it, how can you talk to me in this way?
The girls here. . .
. . .are all as pretty as angels
Especially the girls from Gum Kingdom
You won`t believe it
Big eyes, tall nose,
little mouth
Ask them to come out for a comparison
What comparison?
She is much more beautiful than you !
Get lost now!
Or, l will slap you ! l mean it
She is coming out
The beauty from Gum Kingdom is coming out
So sex appealing !
Miss
May l?
What`s up?
You stand here without making a noise!
Don`t you know dancing , or don`t you know talking?
l don`t know you
l am Gum Tso
Fat, so many women around !
Fat. . .
Honey!
Hubby, you are back!
Hubby,
l`ve made a clothe for my birthday party
lsn`t it pretty
lt`s good looking !
l invite many relatives and
friends for a dinner!
Remember to come home earlier!
Remember?
Hubby, l can smell fragrance from your body
Wonderful nose you have!
l bought you cosmetics!
Why do you buy me cosmetics?
For your birthday!
Good boy!
Have a bath first!
Alright, let`s bath together!
l have bathed
Go bathing now
Better bath again
You go alone
l am the procuress,
welcome to be our new member
Seeing you . . .
l have something ,
very, very. . .
Strange feeling that. . .
Say,
you feel like slapping me
Right. . .
Correct
ls Miss Gum Tso here?
Sure!
l want to see her at once
Do you want to see her?
They are wishing to see Miss Gum Tso too
Line up,
don`t you think a handsome and
smart guy need not line up?
How can you tell l am smart?
l can tell you are sincere,
and kind-hearted , too!
lt`s lucky to have a friend like you
Shit! You can tell it too
l have to treat you dinner!
Sure you have to
Line up!
This scum doesn`t want to line up!
Miss Gum Tso,
l`ve waited you for ages!
Stay calm . . .
Miss Gum Tso wishes to treat you to a drink
Take a glass over there
This way. . .
Miss Gum Tso, a toast to you
Good wine!
What a nice wine,
it makes one lose his mind !
This must be an old wine. . .
. . .of over 1 00 years old
l believe that this is tribute from foreign country
Pal , isn`t it so precious?
Are you exaggerating?
You are totally wrong !
You drink it without tasting it
Even it isn`t wine,
you can never tell its taste!
Wine is like woman , you have to try it by some means
Can anyone lend me his tongue?
Any longer one?
Right
The taste buds are on the surface of our tongues
Not under
The sweet taste buds are in front
The bitter taste budsare near the throat
Don`t make it too deep
Alright, l`ll place it in front
The sour taste bud is on both sides of the tongue
So, when we taste good wine,
roll the tongue,
you need more practice
So, you can stop the wine meeting the sour taste bud
And let the wine floats between bitter and sweet taste buds
Sweet first, and then bitter. . .
Just like. . .
the sense of first love
Congratulation ,
Gum Tso would like to meet you in the sitting room
Miss Gum Tso. . .
Don`t be anxious
Why don`t you . . . you seem to have sore throat
Are you missing your wife?
How do you know that?
Chinese people usually have early marriage
You seem to be mature and trustable
l guess, you must have married for years
You are flattering me
You don`t seem to be Chinese
l come from Gum Kingdom
You have racial discrimination?
No way, don`t be silly
Miss, you seem . . .
You are fat, and you are thin
You are bored
Give me a surprise
Do you want any surprise?
Do you have any?
Don`t despise me
Take it out
Do you want me to take it out?
Come on
This is for you
So pretty! Thank you
You are really different!
Usually, when the girls see such precious pearl ,
either they will scream ,
or, some will die because of too much excitement
You don`t value material life at all ,
you are really. . .
Really different!
Mister, do you have time to stay?
To have a long talk?
My wife has prepared dinner, l don`t think it`s good for me to stay
Why do you come then?
Even cats will be motivated by such atmosphere!
Do you know what the cat is talking?
That cat said ,
``Don`t bother me, mom will scold me``
l can`t do that
l am married , l love my wife
Although l wish to do it, l have to control myself
Control myself
Well , l won`t give it a damn !
Come on . . .
A good husband is hard to find in the world
Since you are thinking of your wife,
l won`t push you
Send Mister to the door
Yes
Wait. . .
Please leave
No, l`ve just made up my mind . . .
Please go back
So bad ! l have halfly undressed !
Give me a chance!
Forget it, Mister
Miss Gum Tso
Hubby,
what`s wrong with you?
l haven`t been that smart
There isn`t any rice in your bowl
Hubby, l`ve discovered that,
the cosmetic you sent me that night,
doesn`t smell like those. . .
. . .found from your body
Didn`t l tell you?
That`s made by a thing called Magic Musk
The smell will change according to different timings
At night, it stinks
No, it doesn`t stink
On that day,
you sent me a very big pearl ,
l do want to show off tonight
But l couldn`t find it out at all
Do you know where is it?
This is life
lf you want to find something anxiously,
you can never find it
lf you are smart, you need not find it,
cause it will show up later
Father-in-law, have the chicken ass
Great. . .
l remember
Why did you go to the prostitute house on that day
Prostitute house?
Yes, prostitute house
What did you say?
l saw him visiting hookers
Listen to me
Wait
Don`t lie to me
l can tell it`s true or not easily
Hooker is woman , she will get sick
As a gynecologist,
l went there for treatment
lt`s nothing weird
Daughter, is his heart beating fast?
No
That`s good
Sorry, hubby
You are too bad for you don`t trust me at all
Come on , let`s eat. Be happy
Please help yourself
lt`s fragrant! Can you smell it?
Miss, who are you looking for?
l come here to buy herb
Do you have any chiretta ( means. . .home coming in Chinese )?
Are you in urgent need?
Come later
l love a man very much
He hasn`t come to me for many days
l come to buy chiretta which means home coming in Chinese,
for l really want him to come back this night
Miss, l suggest you to buy ``Tu-wo`` ( means living alone )
Living alone, don`t bother others
You have a kind of special smell ,
l smelt once!
Yes, this perfume is called ``Hooking Soul``
Only l have this kind of special perfume in town
lt is an amazing perfume. . .
. . .to seduce man , right?
But l can`t hook the man l love
No matter how hard l torture myself,
he just brushes me off and comes here to have dinner with his wife
So, l come here to see his wife
Today is my daughter`s birthday
Don`t mess up here
You have seen what you want now
So pretty
Prettier than you
Send her to the door
Madam
Today is your birthday!
l haven`t any present
But, why not take this little thing as my present?
Are you kidding?
Right,
when you don`t want to find it,
it will show up itself
Are you kidding? You sent it to her?
This is your present to me,
how l can send it to others?
What is your relationship?
Tell me
By the way, it seems to be clear!
You bastard !
How can you treat my daughter like this? Are you a man?
Granny, don`t be angry
Give me back the pearl
Madam , don`t be excited !
You bitch , l wanna kill you !
No
lf you hurt her, l will kill you
lf you hurt me, l will kill him
None of my business, lady!
Stop her now
Bitch !
Drop the horse down
What did you say, honey?
You scared my friend
Drop the horse
You lied
You said you would love me forever
You lied too
You said you were born in the year of rabbit,
but you were born in the year of tiger, you are older than me
You lied , you lied !
Drop the horse
Don`t throw me while l am not paying attention
l can tell your trick
Drop it, now!
Are you alright?
l am fine
Sorry to ruin your party
All because l wish to see you very much
l am too bad , l am leaving
l will go with you
lt`s nonsense for me to stay in such nonsense family
Go
Hubby
Are you hungry?
Let me cook noodle for you
Wait
What a shame!
Don`t get angry, let`s go back to my place
l will do that with you
That?
That`s what you want
You are inhumane!
Oh my God !
We have become a couple at last
On this stormy night,
we will enjoy ourselves!
You look cheap
You haven`t seen my cheaper look
Alright, listen to me
l have had hard feeling
Your wife felt so sad
For you , l can sacrifice my wife
as well as my life
Don`t say anything nonsense
l don`t want. . .
. . .to cheat you ,
l am a Forbidden City Cop,
my duty is to protect His Majesty
l came here for His Majesty is fond of you
He wants me to check you
You don`t check me,
you just want to screw me
You are betraying His Majesty
But l can`t help loving you
Forget about him !
Ling Ling Fat!
Your Majesty
Luckily you have come on time
Did you hear everything?
You !
lf she didn`t write. . .
. . .to His Majesty,
we wouldn`t have known that
you betrayed His Majesty
You . . .
ln order to. . .
. . .trap him ,
l don`t mind risking my virginity
Your Majesty, if you come a bit late,
l don`t know what will happen !
You . . .
Ling Ling Fat,
your family will have capital punishment, you know?
Your Majesty
Catch him
Your Majesty, why do you cuff me?
Your trap. . .
. . .is really great!
You want me to break my family
Then you make His Majesty kill me
You will kidnap him to blackmail the government
Then your troop will move. . .
. . .from the North to take over our country
lt seem to be a piece of cake
Damn !
But, you remember the pearl which fancies all women in the world?
When you received . . .
. . .that pearl ,
you didn`t feel excited ,
that`s why l know,
you are not a woman
Who is my foe?
And who will undergo such fantastic plastic surgery?
Only a faceless old folk will do it
King of no face, you bastard !
l hate others to cheat me by pretending as woman !
Especially disguising as such pretty woman to seduce me!
Luckily Fat is so smart!
He disclosed your secret
Your Majesty
Don`t move
Don`t trust him !
He wanted to screw me so he brushed his wife off,
and he even beated his wife up in front of me
He isn`t a man at all
ln order to trap you ,
my family performed a show in front of you
Dear audience
The best actress
ln this play,
she acted . . .
. . .very well that,
no matter. . .
judging from her eyes,
or movement,
she could express
how a sad wife feels
Especially when she threw the horse,
it shows a strong protest originated
from post modernism
Let us see. . .
how she threw the horse again
Watch ! Watch !
Mrs. Fat, congratulation . . .
Thank you
First of all , l have to thank my parents
Since they`ve been supporting me
And l have to thank my husband
He gave me chance to act
We had rehearsed many many times
So, this award is yours too
Hubby, thank you
Alright, let`s present the final award of this night
l believe that, you can guess it
The best actor is Ah Fat. . .
Ah Fat`s father-in-law
Wonderful !
This award should go to me
l did see him visiting the prostitute house!
Wait
l am sorry
l am the leading man !
You can tell l have done a great job
Why do you present the award to him?
Your acting is quite good , but not mature
Say, when your wife heard your heart beat,
your expression was a bit exaggerated
That`s the point of view of ordinary audiences!
You won`t be that ignorant?
No, when l heard your heart beat,
l couldn`t feel any response from you
l felt that, you couldn`t concentrate in acting
You didn`t act well indeed
You . . .
Be fair
Just one word
You don`t know acting
Shut up! Gum Tso`s sex is still a doubtful question
How can you . . .
. . .present awards here?
lt`s a mess
l am a person who is willing to die for you
Let me use my body,
to check whether Gum Tso is a woman or not
Be careful !
Ling Ling Fat, you killed my son
Even l can`t kill your family,
l want to kill you too
Neither of you can go
Protect His Majesty
Fat-yan , take the Box of Treasure to me
Catch it
Are you kidding?
Why did you ask me to throw it to you?
Game over!
l am sorry
lt doesn`t hurt!
But the one next to you is in bad luck
That`s No-face Stance
lt can transfer energy
Pal , are you alright?
l am scared
But l am fine
l feel comfortable
lt`s not painful at all
So, l won`t give it a damn
Let me do it
Pal , didn`t you say comfortable?
lt`s really comfortable
Forget it
You`d better beat that guy
l have to think something else
Forget it, please hit me
lt`s not predictable
No color, no face,
long life to stay!
l`m the supreme of the world !
Who is it?
My dear sister
We all rely on you !
Soul Changing Stance
l feel dizzy, l can`t stand it anymore
lt`s cheap! Who do you want to scare?
Don`t you think such chain . . .
. . .can lock me up?
lt`s not for locking you ,
it`s used to connect the lightning-rod
You said ,
we will enjoy ourselves on a stormy night
l`ll let you try a wonderful thunder storm
Don`t move!
Fly. . .
Flying . . .
Fa. . .
Fairy
1 , 2 , 3, 4 5
lt`s right here
The thunder hit Fat
So it transform his cells
During the process, he gained extra power
So, he can release the power of Flying Fairy
At that moment,
it seems that there was a flying fairy in the sky
lsn`t it illusion caused by air crash ,
or am l drunk?
Of course you are drunk
So, you have drunk much more than me
l am drunk everyday
lt`s strange,
why hasn`t Fat come to work?
Brother Fat, where are you?
We can`t live without you
Brother Fat, where are you?
Hubby, it`s so great!
Your new invention
let us fly freely in the sky
Let us name it. . .
Helicopter, isn`t it nice?
No, this isn`t a good name
Why not name it. . .
Air air air air air O Plane?
You are so smart, honey
lf not, how can l be your honey?
Hubby, let`s fly again
So romantic!
Hubby,
l want to have a baby with you
Alright, let`s go home and make love
No way, l can`t wait
Let`s do it here!